MidWeek Mayhem (07/08) Live in Geneva, Switzerland

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Geneva, Switzerland

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Poe vs. The Dead

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Stank vs. Davin Moreland

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
kz vs. The Team From Down Under

OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u]
Team FuEL vs. IHOP

No-Disqualification Match[/u]
Phantos & Lucios vs. The Chickenshit Heels

Ecosystem & Tytan vs. Thim Reynolds & Spin Hansen
Concrete TG vs. Matte
Anders Denial vs. Nayr
Alexander Darling vs. Carl From Fresno

Card subject to death by chocolate

[mooseheadjack]

There is much celebration happening in the Team FuEL Luxury Suites. Well, much may be an overstatement.

C"L"E: That was amazing. Our first match as a team, and we take the titles.

FW: Championships.

C"L"E: Huh?

FW: We call them 'championships.'

C"L"E: We do?

Fire gives him that look that says to not argue with her about this.

"B"BL: Who cares!? We had great chemistry and we completely dominated them.

FW: Yep. Say, can we do something about the name?

C"L"E: You don't like FuEL?

FW: No, no, it's fine. It's just...well, the weird capitalization bugs me.

"B"BL: It does?

FW: Yeah. Kinda. Can we just be Team Fuel?

"B"BL: I suppose. I don't see what the big deal is--

FW: Cool, thanks.

Firewoman gets up to leave.

C"L"E: Wait, where you going? Are you packing already?

FW: I never unpack.

"B"BL: We should go celebrate! We WON! C'mon......

C"L"E: Yeah! Seriously, Fire...what's goin' on?

Firewoman looks at both of them and thinks for a minute.

FW: You know, you're right. Let's go.

C"L"E: Awesome.

The three leave, but Fire lags behind a bit.

FW: Lucky?

L: Yeah, boss?

FW: Let Dr. Sid know I need ... I need to... talk to him.

L: Really?

FW: Yeah....

L: Okay.....whatever you say.

"B"BL: Dude, did you get lost already? Come on!

[mooseheadjack]

Panning shot of the Freehold, NJ Humane Society Animal Shelter. The floor is dark, and several cages stand occupied by various stray dogs, many barking quietly.

Voice-over: You wind up here for a lot of reasons. Sometimes you're abandoned. Sometimes you're lost. Sometimes people just don't want you around. An' sometimes...sometimes, you ain't nothin' but someone that made a wrong choice an' wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

V/O: Don't matter which happens, only thing that matters is what happens after. What you do. Y'can sit around, tryin' to act all nice an' friendly, hopin' that someone thinks you're nice enough t'take in. Or y'can make a scene. Try an' be th' baddest guy in joint an' make someone think that'd you'd be the most vicious son of a bitch that he could ever get his hands on. An' the whole time you're doin' that, you gotta keep in the back of your head the fact that if either of those don't work, sooner or later they're gonna put you down.

V/O: So where's that leave ya? The first two - if y'can even pull 'em off - are gonna leave you on a chain either way. Stuck on a leash for th' person who took you in. An' that don't leave much better off than th' third. So you look for th' fourth. An' when you find it, it winds up bein' th' simplest of all of them. Y'take your time in th' cages, an' y'make it mean something. You take that time t'remember who you are. What you are.

Pan down to D.H. Magnusson sitting on the floor of a cage, his chain laying in his lap. The cage door has very obviously been kicked open from the inside.

DHM: 'Cause when y'do that there ain't no cage in the world can keep you in.

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose is sitting slumped against a wall somewhere in the arena, his title belt draped across his lap. In his hands, Moose holds a barbed wire bat, and he is slowly unwinding a strand of barbed wire from the head of the bat. After a few moments, he speaks>

You know, everyone says pain is just part of this business. To a certain degree, they are right. There is always pain. It is a constant reminder of what you do. A dull throbbing reminder that the profession you chose to pursue, is one that will likely lead you to an early grave. Everyone feels it. The most technically gifted wrestler, the most cautious wrestler, its all the same. After the adrenaline wears off, the pain sets in. The morning after the matches, the pain is the first thing there. For many, it drives them from the business. It chases away their dreams of glory.

But there are some, there are some that embrace that pain. There are some that see that pain not as a burden, not as something to be feared, but something to be welcomed, like an old friend.

<With this, Moose takes a strand of barbed wire and runs it across his forehead, leaving a dark slice across his head. He never even flinches. He keeps looking at the camera as the blood runs down his face and drips from his nose>

You see, pain and I are good friends. Pain is not something I fear. I have given myself to pain, I know what I put my body through, and I do that with pleasure, and I do that for one reason - to inflict more pain on my enemies. The fact is, titles are nice, this <holds up the tag title> is nice. But this is not what drives me. Gold does not run me, adulation does not control me, the thing that makes me go is fear.

Now, this week, we have you, Jack and Gator, one more time, for these titles. Napoleon once said "he who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." Rings true, doesn't it. You two fall back on your Empty Team persona, you like to remind us of what you did in Japan, what your legacy was there, but the fact remains, you are afraid. You are afraid that with each loss to kz, you tarnish that legacy just a bit more. With each loss to kz, your boasts carry a little less weight, and soon, you fear you will be just another tag team, just another victim of the joyful slaughter.

<Moose looks at the bloody barbed wire now wrapped around his fist>

And you are right. You SHOULD be afraid. This week, kz ends the myth of Empty Team

Trust me

[mooseheadjack]

*Stank is in the Destroyitarium after having had a brief conversation with The Team from Down Under. His Intercontinental title belt lies on a nearby table where Stank seats himself in the booth behind it. He's banged up, the evidence shown by the various bandages on his...

Stank - Cut the preramble, Spot. I got something I want to say to the Dead.

*Stank turns and looks at the camera-

Stank - SPOT!

*... .... ...*

Stank - Dead. I just want to acknowledge you and your run as Intercontinental Champion. It was a hell of a run and a great rivalry between you and I. I just hope there are no hard feelings and any time you want another shot at this <holds up title> I'm game. Good luck in your match for the World title and you are welcome to come drink with us anytime in the Destroyitarium. Hat's off to you, bro.

Now to my next opponent the newly face turned Davin Moreland. What is there to say? We've done this before. I thought the next time you and I danced it would be for a different belt, but IC it is. Don't think I won't defend this title any less than I would the World title. The last time I held a championship I did so for 7 long months, the longest ever for the OWWF World Championship. I plan on retaining and continuing another long run.

Moreland, I know you're hurt. I also happen to know that makes you even more dangerous an opponent.

I have a pretty good year so far. I don't plan on that changing anytime soon.

See you in the ring.

<fade>

[mooseheadjack]

(Spin Hansen is at the other end of the bar in the Destroyitarium as Stank finishes his promo. He's slightly drunk.)

SH: Sonofabitch can't beat me in a one-on-one match. Never has. It's always the same result. "Winner due to disqualification, Spin Hansen. Poe retains." Always the same fucking thing. Every fucking time. And now I'm fighting with Tytan again, who I am sure will take his time with the microphone to proclaim my swift and immediate demise because he's a MONSTER. A blood monster. Hungry for blood. And monstrosity.

(He quickly drains a rocks glass full of whiskey.)

And don't even get me started on your partner, Ecosystem. Eco's had a great run, lots of history, OOWF founder, The Defenstrators, multi-time champion, blah Blah BLAH. You might have latched onto that odd one, more power to you for it... but there's something that you guys are forgetting.

First: My wounds are healed. Second: Thim Reynolds is one of the most dangerous sonsabitches that I've seen in my life and he does it all by hand. Third: Thim and I have teamed up before. In fact, he was the first person in the OOWF that I EVER tagged with, even if it was only for one tournament... and we did well. Combined? You don't have a chance in hell.

(He leans over.)

Hey, Shannon? Another whiskey, por favor.

[mooseheadjack]

*Run DLP is RIDING~! in the back of the Dunkin' Donuts Limousine. Yes, all of them. Davin looks like hell, and Samantha could use a nap; but otherwise all seems quiet. They are all watching the TV in the limo, and catch Stank's promo*

DM: Stank? Really? Way to go, Eric.

SDM: No. You're asking out of that match a...

*The other 3 just kind of look at her like she's lost her mind*

SDM: You know, I didn't know I married all 3 of you.

P: Wait...you married all 3 of us? Then that means...

L: Shut it, Phantos.

P: But...

L: No.

P: Aww Man...

DM: No, I'm not asking out of the match at all. In fact I'm look forward to it.

L: You ARE? That's crazy.

DM: I am crazy after all.

L: Yeah but...

DM: Stank's been wanting to get his hands on my for months, but because I was such an asshole; my dance card was pretty full.

P: B...but...you said you were sorry.

DM: I say a lot of things. Stank knows this. Stank's not Sting. Stank's being understandably cautious right now and that's smart. I would be too if I were him.

SDM: And he probably still wants to kill you, which is why...

*They all look again*

SDM: Oh fine. Kill yourself. I don't care anymore.

DM: He probably DOES still want to kill me Sammy, and you know what? He's got every right to want that. That's EXACTLY why I'm going to give him a chance to try.

SDM: I hate when you do this shit.

DM: I said TRY Samantha. Many have TRIED. All have failed. Including your brother.

SDM: He was close.

DM: Close only counts in horseshoe, hand grenades and nuclear missiles.

SDM: Oh my God...seriously?

DM: Seriously. And in spite of all of THAT, I'm pretty sure Stank wants to know my face turn is legit and not part of a longer-term swerve.

L: That IS something you'd do.

DM: I know, right?

P: But you didn't do that, right?

DM: I wouldn't have dragged you guys into it if I did.

L: I'd like to think you wouldn't.

DM: Ah.

P: Ah what?

DM: Lucios isn't 100% sold either. That's fine though, I have to prove myself to him just like I have to prove myself to our great fans, to Stank, and to everyone else.

P: Luc, how can you not be sold? I mean, it's Davin! Thick and thin we've stood with him.

L: And we'll continue to, Phantos. But D is right. I need to see it over time. I mean, heck, he's Super Duper 80's-style Uber Babyface right now. I don't imagine that's going to continue.

DM: Eh, I don't imagine it will either. But right now? I am. And to prove it to you and to everyone; I want Stank to listen up.

SDM: *whispers loudly* Uh...he's not in here...

DM: The cameras are.

SDM: Cameras! That means...

DM: Yeah. I doubt that'll make TV though. Anyway, Stank, everyone - in order to show you my sincerity...I promise I will wrestle completely by the book.

L: Completely?

P: By the book?

SDM: You?

DM: Yes. Clean breaks, no weapons...nothing but clean, technical wrestling. That's the best thing I can think of that could prove myself to Stank.

SDM: You'll lose.

DM: I don't think I'll lose.

SDM: Fine, you've never beaten him like that before. How about that?

DM: I'll offer a handshake pre- and post-match and everything. I'm not kidding around.

P: I TOLD you, Lucios.

L: I'll believe it when I see it.

SDM: Me too.

DM: That's fine. And this Wednesday, after I win the Intercontinental Championship, Stank gets an immediate rematch if he wants; and I will wrestle him the same way. I don't want Stank to hate me anymore. I mean, he does with good reason; but when you've got two forces of nature like Stank and Davin Moreland, fighting on the same side - it's something which hasn't been before seen in this business. Hell, remember when we used to tag sometimes? Came out as to the WGTT music? When we tag, we ARE the WGTT on that night. That was a long time ago; so this Wednesday, at Midweek Mayhem; I'm going to start down that long road to prove myself.

SDM: We're here.

*Wide shot to the Dunkin' Donuts Limo pulling into the parking lot for Geneva Arena.*

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

Anders Denial: The Destructor

Host David Attenborough begins his narration

DA - Soon, Anders Denial emerged from the woods of Bergen to reveal himself to the wrestling world. He joined the ranks of the NWF (Norwegian Wrestling Federation) and the ONWF (Other Norwegian Wrestling Federation). For 2 full years, Anders Denial relentlessly tore through the rosters of each of these promotions. A match didn't end til his opponent was hospitalized and forced to retire.

Norwegian Wrestler Svend "the Asbjørn" Didrik appears on screen for an interview.



SD - He vould dominate vith great schkill. All vould fall victim to ze business side.

DA - The Business Side: often referred to as the most devestating pimp slap on the face of the planet. Named The Business Side in reference to Anders "introducing people to the business side of his hand", this quickly became the most feared finishing move in Norwegian wrestling history.



DA - What would generally appear to be your everyday ordinary backhand slap to the face hits with the most astounding of impact. When used by Anders Denial, no opponent has been left standing. The Business Side always hits with such impact so as to take his opponent of his feet, sending him into a swirling somersault. Oftentimes, fans would make bets as to how many times Anders opponents would spin in the air until hitting the ground. The record is set at 4 times by Dag "the Kjell" Arvid. When asked to comment, he declined as he had lost his larynx in the impact and no longer had to capacity to talk.

DA - For 2 full years, Anders Denial dominated on the Norwegian wrestling circuit. By the end of his 2 year run, he had bankrupted both promotions he had been involved with because he had retired their entire rosters. Forced into exile, Anders Denial had no choice but to head to the big leagues. And the OOWF had no problem signing him. What is next for Anders Denial? Only time will tell.

[mooseheadjack]

*SFJ#11 approaches Stank in the Destroyitarium.*

SFJ#11 - Davin Moreland says he will wrestle you straight up with all technical moves.

Stank - Technical, huh?

SFJ#11 - He says he wants to prove to you and the OOWF universe that his face turn is legit.

Stank - Well if he wants a workrate clinic, then that only means one thing.

SFJ#11 - What?

Stank - I'm going to bust out my DEVASTATING single leg, Boston Crab. You see... it's also known as a HALF Boston crab, a move that typically starts with my opponent on his back, and me standing and facing them. I hook one of my opponent's legs in one of my arms, JUST ONE leg now, and then turn my opponent face-down, stepping over him in the process. The final position has me dominating my opponent in a semi-sitting position and facing away from my opponent while they are lying face-down and their own leg bent backwards toward their head. I could also do a variation with me kneeling side-ways while having the leg hooked, but I wouldn't want to add TOO much excitement to a rather benign move.

SFJ#11 - Alrighty then... we have... that... to look forward to... oh joy.

Stank - Davin will tap to the single leg Boston Crab. It's true... it's DAMN true.

[mooseheadjack]

Fire is sitting in the Team Fuel Luxury Suites reading paper work with Lucky.

FW: So if we sign here....

L: And here and here....

FW: Okay....they sponsor our locker room?

L: Yep.

FW: So all we need to do is put their name in the promos in bold?

L: Um....yeah. And we only use their product.

FW: Well.........okay, then.

Firewoman signs a bunch of places. The phone rings, and Lucky answers it.

L: Team Fuel Luxury Suites sponsored by Starbucks. Oh.....yeah, she's here...........

FW: Put it on speaker phone. Who is it?

L: You're not going to believe it....

FW: Hello?

HBK: It's the showstopper, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!!

FW: Wow, really? How did you get....oh, Chris.

HBK: Yeah, he gave me the number. We watched the PPV, and I just gotta call to say, congratulations.

FW: Ummm...

HBK: You know, when it comes to turning on best friends, I thought I had the title. But, I suppose, much like other titles, this too needs to change hands to the next generation.

FW: I don't think--

HBK: Now, don't be modest. (he talks away from the phone) You're right, Chris. She doesn't want to take the compliment. (back to Firewoman). Your turn is this generations Jannetty super kick. I take my hat off to you. Darling never saw it coming, and neither did we. I mean, I don't know if you told Chris about it.

FW: No, I didn't

HBK: But he was shocked. I was shocked. I didn't see it coming.

FW: Great, well, thanks for the--

HBK: In fact, we were talking and Vince wanted to see it, so we pulled it up on youtube -- Did you know it's all over youtube?

FW: Great...

HBK: And he was very impressed. He might be willing to give you another shot, if you want a spot in next year's Diva Search.

FW: Uh...no.

HBK: Well, what about accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior?

FW: Um....no. Thanks, though.

HBK: Well, I'll pray for you. You wanna talk to--

FW: No, I'll talk to him later.

HBK: Ah, yeah. Privacy. I get it. He should really make an honest woman out of you.

FW: Um...Yeah, I'll talk to you later, Shawn.

HBK: Definitely. Hope to see you in Connecticut soon.

The phone disconnects. Lucky and Firewoman look at each other.

L: Holy crap.

FW: That does sum it up nicely.

L: You don't seem happy.

FW: You are a genius, have I told you that? Did you get a hold of Dr. Sid?

L: I did. He'll be back with us soon, he just had to take care of some things stateside.

FW: How soon will that be?

L: Um...I don't know, he just said soon.

FW: (sighs) Okay. I'm going to go train. See ya.

Firewoman leaves Lucky to continue to try to figure out the paper work.

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan is watching Spin's promo in the Tytanium Systadium when Ecosystem and BRICK~! walk in carrying Chinese food.)

Eco: Did you order a quart of chicken lo mein? Because I don't know if we're going to finish a whole quart.

BRICK~!: Also, I feel like we might need to negotiate a better room name than the Tytanium Systadium.

Tytan: (obviously not listening) That FUCKER Spin! I'm going to kill him!

Eco: Because he came closer to winning the World Title last week than you did?

BRICK~!: Because he's slightly more handsome than you, no offense?

Tytan: (still not listening, like, at all) How dare he MOCK us! Joking about the monster inside me...he has NO IDEA!

Eco: (biting into his egg roll) Don't let him faze you. We're the most highly decorated tag team in the OOWF!

Tytan: Really?

Eco: Well, currently. Not taking into account history.

Tytan: But we're not the tag champions. In fact, we've never even teamed before.

Eco: Well, we have two very shiny belts.

Tytan: (lifting up his DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal belt) This belt is actually kind of dull and worn.

Eco: We could polish it or something.

BRICK~!: I bet Super Mario has windex.

Eco: Did you want any dumplings?

Tytan: This is entirely besides the point.

BRICK~!: He's right. We need to figure out what we're doing with the lo mein.

Tytan: That's not what I meant! Look, forget "fight smarter, not harder". The second we talk about going on an intense, destructive run and really send a message to these jokers, we stopped.

Eco: We're choosing our spots.

Tytan: When do those spots come? Only in the ring? I wanted to rip Davin's throat out and take his title, but no! We had to take it through chicanery! What kind of message does that send? He might be back for his title tomorrow!

BRICK~!: WHOA WHOA WHOA! Who taught you "chicanery"?

Eco: That's a SAT word right there.

Tytan: (grimacing) I am getting concerned...that you two...are not taking this business seriously.

(Eco gets up, puts his food aside, and gets in Tytan's face.)

Eco: All right, big man. I'll bite. Davin goes after you. Tries to get his title back. What are you going to do?

Tytan: I'm not going to pull out tricks or--

Eco: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

Tytan: I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS!

Eco: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TO SPIN AND THIM?

Tytan: WE'RE GOING TO KICK THEIR ASS!

Eco: Exactly. Don't give me that bullshit about "not taking things seriously". That's loser talk. Losers worry about holding their edge, because they know that edge is a fluke. You and I, Tytan, we're winners. We want something, we take it. And if we ever lose a match, we beat our opponents within an inch of their fucking lives and get them back the next time. Do you understand?

Tytan: (smirking) Yes.

Eco: Is Spin a problem?

Tytan: No.

Eco: Is Thim a problem?

Tytan: No.

Eco: What is our problem?

Tytan: ...divvying up the lo mein?

Eco: That's right.

(Eco, Tytan, and BRICK~! dig into their food.)

[mooseheadjack]

*A limousine pulls outside the parking lot at the Arena Geneva. Due to the Dunkin' Donuts markings all over it, we can assume that the occupants are Run DLP. The gate is down, even after repeated honks from the driver, and there is a mass of people outside that look like they're about ready to rush the car. Suddenly the doors open in the back, and Phantos and Lucios come out to big applause. Not far behind are Samantha Darling-Moreland, and, after a minute, Davin Moreland, who has a BIG BOX!*

DM: Hey everybody!

*cheap pop*

*Davin reaches into the box and pulls out t-shirts, posters, hats, DVD's, glow sticks, all sorts of random Run DLP merch. He calls everyone over to him, and the 4 members of Run DLP start THROWING~! it into the crowd, to the cheapest of cheap applause, gotten by free stuff. They distribute it until it's finally gone. Davin passes out some Sharpies and the 4 starts signing autographs as they're still waiting for the gate to be opened. At one point, Davin spots what looks like a 10-year-old boy wearing a dark baseball cap and big sunglasses. 2 things draw Davin's attention though: 1) This person is on the other side of the barrier, and 2) This person is wearing a black silk jacket with Run DEA embroidered on it. Naturally, Davin goes over.*

DM: Shawn?

OGMSJ: You never answered me.

DM: What do you mean?

OGMSJ: ABOUT AL- *she quiets down as people look over* About Alex...you never answered me why?

DM: Ok, get in the limo. Hurry up.

*She does and finally the gate opens. Everyone piles in and is just staring at Shawn Johnson*

OGMSJ: What? Why won't you answer me, Davin?

DM: Wait til we get inside. It's gonna take a minute.

*They pull up and into the arena. They pile out of the car, get their stuff, and head to the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina. There is a brief conversation and everyone leaves the main area except for Shawn and Davin. He gets them some water as they sit in comfy chairs across from each other.*

OGMSJ: Thanks.

DM: You can take the hat and sunglasses off now. You look like a 10-year-old boy.

OGMSJ: Thanks. Like I didn't hear THAT enough growing up.

DM: Ok, ok, sorry. I see you still have your jacket.

OGMSJ: For what it even means anymore. Davin, you GAVE this to me! You gave it to me a little more than 2 months ago! Davin...what happened? Why? Why did you leave? Why did you hurt Alex?

DM: Why did I hurt ALEX? Now WAIT a damn second...

OGMSJ: No, no, that's not what I meant. I meant like...emotionally or whatever.

DM: You're trying to tell me Alexander Darling is emotionally hurt that I'm gone? He said that to you?

OGMSJ: Well, he didn't SAY that, but I just know-

DM: Shawn. Stop. You don't know. Alexander lets people see what he wants them to see. You don't know the "real" Alexander. I don't know the "real" Alexander. Hell, Firewoman and Samantha don't know the "real" Alexander either. Only Alexis does. He's NOT emotionally hurt that I'm gone. You can trust me on that.

OGMSJ: Then answer me this. Why are you gone?

DM: It was time to go.

OGMSJ: GODDAMMIT DAVIN! I didn't come down here for bullshit! I came down here for a fucking answer! Now ANSWER me!

DM: Fine. You want the real answer? Here it is. We weren't going anywhere. Since I dropped the World Title we just floated around aimlessly doing nothing. Alexander seemed perfectly content going on like that. So did Firewoman. Continuing on like nothing even fucking happened. Nothing was wrong. Phantos and Lucios are gone, and no one blinks a fucking eye. They preach loyalty, but when the rubber met the road, my name wasn't Darling or Firewoman, so I was on my own. I was a hired gun. I was never going to be anything more than that. All the shitty, shitty things I've done and said to people I actually care about and like in this business...it's all been for nothing.

OGMSJ: Nothing? You won 3 World Championships Davin! Remember the picture? All 5 titles in the same stable? Without Alex...that doesn't happen.

DM: Shawn, I won the title myself. Alexander didn't win them for me.

OGMSJ: Then why did you LEAVE? Why did you try to kill Alex? He's such a nice...er...well, you didn't need to try to kill him.

DM: He tried to kill me too.

OGMSJ: THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

DM: Shawn, it's this simple. Alexander is out for one thing, and that's Alexander Darling. Davin Moreland is out for one thing, and that's doing the very best I can for every person who's ever paid to see me, bought one of my t-shirts, or supported me in any way. That's who *I* am. I TRIED to be all about myself, but it was all fake. It was all a cover. It was a disguise, kinda like what you wore today.

*OGMSJ laughs at that*

DM: But that's not me. Clearly, Alexander and Davin cannot co-exist for too long when they're both out for themselves. Now if they weren't out for than themselves, that might be a different story.

OGMSJ: So what if I can-

DM: You can't. You can't Shawn so don't try. He's been this way his whole life. He's not going to change just because you tell him too. Besides. That's not going to solve everything. Not by a long shot. You forget. I still want to kill him.

OGMSJ: That's not funny.

DM: I'm not kidding.

OGMSJ: *drinks from her water* Well, thank you for being honest. I feel a little better. Hey, I noticed you had a trampoline in the gym over there...Think I could come over and use it sometimes?

DM: You'd have to clear it with Phantos, but I'm sure we could work something out.

*Davin gives her the million-dollar smile and walks her to the door, as he's opening it, Shawn jumps on Davin giving him a big hug and looks at him all teary-eyed*

OGMSJ: This whole thing makes me sad. I don't hate you Davin.

DM: I don't hate you either kid. I gave you that jacket, remember? *he puts her down and ruffles her hair up like a little kid* Now get out of here before someone comes looking for ya, huh? None of us need that?

*She puts her "disguise" back on and runs down the hallway*

DM: Kids.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

(Ecosystem is walking down the hallway when Shawn Johnson runs by him, covering herself in her 10-year-old boy clothes.)

Eco: Huh. Wasn't that...

(A second person follows closely behind, also covered in a large coat. He stops at Eco.)

Eco: Are you her minder?

Cloaked Man: 私の声を覚えなさいか? (Remember my voice?)

Eco: (bowing slightly) Yoshi-san.

Yoshi: (removing his hat) The same. How are you, Koizumi?

Eco: Doing quite well for myself. What brings you across the ocean?

Yoshi: You. We need a favor.

Eco: I...I was under the impression I did not owe you any more favors.

Yoshi: You don't. Consider this a friendly request, and we'll owe you one, よいか。?

Eco: 私は断る. I refuse.

Yoshi: (glaring) Then do not consider it a refusable request.

Eco: Are you threatening me?

Yoshi: (grabbing Eco's hand and pulling off his prothestic pinky) Do not forget who you are. What you are.

Eco: Certain identities can be left behind.

Yoshi: Not this one. Listen to me, 悪をした--私は復讐を要求する.

Eco: 復讐?

Yoshi: (nodding) There is someone close to you who is responsible. Handle it.

(Yoshi flips Eco's pinky back to him and walks off.)

[mooseheadjack]

*LIVE inside the Run DLP Locker Room and into the gym. We see what looks to be Davin Moreland and a GIGANTIC black man working out. Davin's 6'11", so this guy is at least 9 feet tall.*

GBM: Stick and Move! Stick and Move!

DM: I'm trying!

GBM: Join the Nintendo Fun Club today! Davin.

DM: The fuck?

*The camera pans out, and we see who this man is...*



*It's Legendary Trainer Jerome "Doc" Louis!"

J'D'L: Dancin' like a fly, bite like a mosquito!

DM: Well, tell me what you're looking for, Doc.



J'D'L:Keep your guard up!

DM: His defense is too tough, Doc!

J'D'L: Don't give up, Davin! He has a weakness........

DM: Weakness? Come on Doc! Teach me more...

J'D'L: Listen Davin!! Catch him off-guard to stun him! Then unload on him!

DM: I can't win, Doc!

J'D'L: Yes, you can Davin!

DM: Let's get out of the gym for a while and do some road work. Whaddya say?

J'D'L: One two, one two punch, Davin!

DM: Hooookay...

*Later, on the streets of Geneva*



J'D'L: Watch his left!

DM: He's hurt me, Doc!

J'D'L: Don't give up, Davin! Fight!!



DM: I'm tired, Doc!

J'D'L: Hang in there, Davin!

*They go to a local gym and find a jobber sparring partner for Davin. His name?



Glass Joe*

*The fight begins, and Davin has some early trouble*

J'D'L: Listen Mac!! Give him a fast uppercut when he is stunned!

*Davin takes his advice*



J'D'L: Davin! Watch his Bull Charge! Stand up to him!

DM: Uh...I already killed him Doc. Let's go back.

*They're back at Geneva Arena, and inside the Run DLP gym*



DM: Well Doc, am I ready for Stank?

J'D'L: His father was a great magician in India. Don't be charmed by his magic punches.

DM: Um..wow. I didn't know that. Poe? Maybe. Stank? Never woulda guessed.

J'D'L: Listen Davin!! Dodge his punch then counter-punch!

DM: That would certainly beat standing in front of him and getting hit, yes. So I'm ready?

J'D'L: Put him away!!

DM: Thanks Doc. I couldn't have done it without ya.

J'D'L: Stick and move, stick and move!

*Doc Leaves*



*Phantos comes into the gym, mystified*

P: What just happened?

DM: I just trained with the best, P-Dawg.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

*The Aussies are sitting down, and with Empty Team face paint on*

OBJ: We heard what Moosehead Jack had to say.

GB: It doesn't matter whether we are wrestling as Empty Team, The Team From Down Under, or whatever people want to call us. We bring it every single night, and you step into the ring with us at your own risk, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know. Seen WCW around here lately? Remember who gave "The Measuring Sticks" their enforced vacation?

OBJ: Few men have the guts to last very long in the OOWF. I do respect kz's history, but I intend to bury them.

[mooseheadjack]

**L.D. Williams walks into Poe's locker room where Poe and Selena are watching OOWF TV.**

Poe: “I assume you saw Moosehead Jack's promo?”

LDW: “Yeah. We all knew it was just a matter of time until he lost it.”

Poe: “What do you recommend?”

LDW: “Personally, I plan to enjoy it.”

**Poe raises his eyebrows.**

LDW: “When Moose and I started running together, we had a plan. Arenas would run red with blood, the company would go bankrupt writing checks to widows and orphans, and the last thing OOWF fans would see would be kz standing over the broken bodies of our enemies. We got a little sidetracked, but it's time to finish what we started.”

S: “But...if you're the only ones left standing...”

LDW: “The OOWF has grown since then, little one. I think there will be room for a few more at the end.”

S: “Like...maybe...Five?”

**Williams and Poe both chuckle.**

<fade>

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan and Eco are in the ring training Brick is watching as they go against...Mario and Luigi.)

Tytan: (catching his breath after watching Mario leap over him with ease.) These guys are good...why aren't they in the OOWF.

Eco: They were banned from the OOWF for being too violent.

Tytan: These guys??!?!?

Brick: Word got to the OOWF when these guys were on the Italian independent circuit they jumped the then current Tag-team champs.

Tytan: Jumped? That's no big deal.

Eco: When he said jumped...you did see there jumping ability did you?

Brick: (Grabs a tv monitor and sticks and old VCR tape he had that shows his jumping ability.) Check this out?!?




Tytan: Wow!

Eco: Now think of that on someone down on the mat.

Tytan: These guys would give kz a run for their money.

Eco: And we are going to learn from them.

Tytan: This will be good...Thim and Spin are going to get one hell of a beating.

Eco: Exactly...

(FADE)

[mooseheadjack]

<We cut to the OOWF gym where we see two kids from Switzerland getting a tryout. Head OOWF trainer C. Everett Bass is calling spots to them in rapid order in their native tongue>

CEB: Querkörperblock! doppeltes Bein nehmen herunter! Kleinsendung! Großes Ende, Darm wrech suplex Rückseite in eine Energienbombe! (Cross body block! double leg take down! Small package! Big Finish!, gut wrench suplex into a power bomb!)

<Bass rigs the bell and the two men drop to the mat gasping for air. He climbs into the ring and helps both men to their feet and talks to them. The two men nod in understanding, and exchange handshakes with Bass again. Bass leaves the ring and heads to the back, the two men decide to continue their training. They lock up and spar for a little. The camera pans around and we see Moosehead Jack has been sitting in the shadows, a strange smile spread across his face. He has been watching the entire thing. After a few more moments, Moose gets to his feet and grabs his barbed wire bat and slides silently into the ring behind the two men, oblivious to his presence

Moose spins the first one around and SLAMS him in the midsection with the barbed wire bat and then DROPS him with a DDT. Moose gets back to his feet, and gets caught with a right to the head from the second one, the rookie tries a whip, but Moose reverses it, catches him with a boot to the gut, and hits a PILEDRIVER! The first rookie is struggling to his feet and Moose grabs him and locks him in the ji-endo and takes him to the mat. The rookie valiantly struggles, but can’t free himself and starts to fade>

MHJ: shhhh, shhhh es ist auf diese weise besser (it is better this way)

<the rookie finally loses consciousness, and slumps to the mat, Moose releases the hold and looks at the two rookies he has decimated. He pulls the first one to his feet, scoops him up and ties him in the tree of woe and leaves him hanging there like a slab of meat. Moose then drags the second one over to him and stands on the back of his neck, forcing him to turn his head so he can see the spectacle.>

MHJ: Ich wünsche Sie dieses sehen (I want you to see this)

<with that Moose tears off a strand of barbed wire and whips the rookie mercilessly, blood runs down his chest and drips onto the mat, after several dozen shots, his chest is sliced badly enough that he loses consciousness. Moose leaves him hanging upside down, a pool of blood forming under his unconscious body. Moose grabs the second rookie and pulls him to his feet.>

MHJ: Sie sind folgend (you are next)

<Moose sends the kid to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a heart punch. He falls to his knees, and Moose gets a running start and connects with a knee between the eyes. The rookie’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he slumps to the mat, but Moose pulls him back to a sitting position and grabs the barbed wire bat and repeatedly rakes it across his forehead. Blood streams down his face and he cries in pain. After leaving his face a shredded mess, Moose pulls him to his feet, kicks him, and hits a double underhook piledriver. The rookie’s neck twists awkwardly as he hits the mat, and he quickly passes out from the pain of what could be a broken neck. Moose sits in the ring amid the carnage, there is blood everywhere. After several seconds Moose looks in the direction of an invisible ninja cameraman, and stares at the blood on his hands, smearing it on his face>

MHJ: I bathe in the blood of the pure. Did you hear their screams Jack? Did you see the looks on their faces Gator? They just saw evil. It is something neither of them will ever forget. In five minutes, I changed their lives forever. The scars will never go away. They will remain forever, a constant reminder that, no matter how much you train, how much you know, how safe you feel, there is someone out there who can destroy that in seconds. Jack, Gator, I am done playing with you. Kz is done playing with you. At Midweek Mayhem, this ends. For your sake, I hope you can put up more of a fight than these two.

<Moose rolls out of the ring and leaves the training area. A minute later C. Everett Bass comes back to the training room carrying two pieces of paper, presumably contracts. He sees the carnage in the ring and his face goes white>

CEB: JESUS CHRIST! SECURITY! MEDIC! GET ME SOME HELP HERE!

<The camera pans back to the doorway where Moose is watching through the window. We see him convulse with silent laughter and fade to black>

[mooseheadjack]

*Ric Flair's Sandwich Shop*

Olympic Gold Medalist and Dancing with the Stars winner Shawn Johnson is sitting in a back booth and looking extremely sad as she sips on her chocolate milk shake. Suddenly there is a commotion at the door and Shawn's eyes brighten because she just hopes, but no, it's just Stank and Spin entering the shop as they argue about bacon. All of a sudden the Olympic Theme is heard and Shawn's cell phone starts vibrating. She answers it in the saddest voice possible,

OGM & DwtSW SJ: Hello.

And then she perks up.

What? Really? You're coming back? And you want me to meet you? That's so...wait, what? You want me to wear what? But I don't...Yes, of course I wanna see you again. Is she? No? But? Okay okay...I'll meet you there.

***Time warp***

Inside The Heroes Guild locker room we see Concrete watching some anime and Nayr is on his computer looking at comics coming out this week. They don't seem to be saying much to one another and the tension in the room actually seems relatively high.

Knock, knock.

Nayr and Crete look at one another.

CTG: Are you expecting anyone Paladin?

Nayr: Not that I'm aware. Are you?

CTG: It could be evil-doers. You should answer it.

Nayr: Why should I? You're the leader...

CTG: Fine, we'll answer it together.

Nayr sighs as he stands up and joins CTG as they move towards the door.

The camera angle changes to behind those knocking as we see Crete and Nayr answer the door.

CTG & Nayr: Oh god no...

Unknown voice: Yes it is I. I have returned to reform The Heroes Guild to their glory and smack down the evil doers of this company. No one shall be able to stand before us. The nefarious Larson, the lacktastic Evans and that C*** Firewoman will all pay.

We just see CTG shaking his head as Nayr's eyes are entirely glazed over as he stares at something.

Unknown voice: Won't you invite us in? I know Goldie Girl here would like to relax. We had a long trip in.

Goldie Girl: I was only at Ric's.

Unknown Voice: Quiet Goldie, you need rest.

CTG sighs and steps aside and we finally see that it's the glorious return of DARLING MAN.

Darling Man: It's good to be back to where I'm wanted. Now let's start planning the demise of Gasoline.

The camera pans the room and everyone, besides DARLING MAN, looks shocked or speechless or downright depressed.

*Fade*

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan and Eco are seen walking...each with their respected titles over there shoulders simply because that is the cool way of wearing them.)

Tytan: You know I was thinking maybe it's time we take our team to the next level. I mean there are other oddities out there like us that need a place to belong.

Eco: Tytan I do like the way you are thinking and it seems like you are turning the corner.

Tytan: What do you mean?

Eco: From the violent loner that wanders the abyss between heaven and hell.

Tytan: Oh...okay! I am also going to do something that has never been done with this title.

Eco: Take it seriously.

Tytan: (Glaring at him.) I already do that. I am going to defend it and bring some honor to this title.

(Tytan then sees the hot dog vendor giving him the evil eye.)

Watch this!

(Tytan runs and spears the Hot Dog Vendor and this finishes him off with the Eclipse in record time. Tytan covers him and the ref appears.)

Ref: 1-2-3!

Winner and still DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champion~ TYTAN!

Eco: Wow! Impressive the first title defense for the DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Title. You are on a roll right now! But why the Hot Dog Vendor.

Tytan: He looked at me funny and it gives me a chance to give random violence and make it legit.

Eco: I never thought of that one. Now let's get Brick and finish off those Hot Dogs.

(They head off.)

FADE

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman and Dr. Freedman are SITTING~! in the Team Fuel Luxury Suites sponsored by Starbucks. We join them mid conversation.

Dr.F: I’m just saying, maybe you could take a break.

FW: Dude, have you not paid attention? You don’t “take a break” in pro wrestling. You take a break, you lose your position on the card, your championships, your respect. Especially if you’re just feeling…you know….out of it.

Dr.F: Out of it?

FW: A little. I mean, Biff from production has been asking me out but… meh….I dunno, it used to be that someone who can fill out the jeans like he can….but…..

Dr.F: Well, part if it is side effect of the medication, but the other part is that you are thinking more about the consequences of your actions.

FW: I am?

Dr.F: Yeah. I’ve been doing research. You’ve got quite the history of turns. Stank—

FW: That was the war with Rick and Bennett….That’s totally different.

Dr.F: Rabbxt…Bunny...whatever his name was.

FW: He was wearing a rabbit suit.

Dr.F: Tyson?

FW: …..

Dr. F: …….

FW: You want me to risk my career on someone who couldn’t keep his act together?

Dr. F: So why be down now? It’s not like this is any different, just another storyline dictated—

FW: Doc….Kayfabe….

Dr.F: What? You don’t like her, and Eric has stripped her of her powers.

FW: Still…..

Dr.F: Fine…whatever. Firewoman, the point is you don’t form commitments. Like, at all. I mean all of your partners….Darling, Stank, Rabbxt, Tyson….your one romantic relationship that seems to have lasted despite all odds has absolutely no commitment at all….

FW: And aren’t you supposed to be using “I” statements?

Dr.F: You abandon people before they abandon you. You and Alexander were friends for a very long time, and you thought it was only a matter of time before he turned on you.

FW: Uh huh.

Dr.F: And now, instead of sublimating your guilt over turns into things like random fires and backstage attacks, thanks to our treatment, you have to actually deal with those guilt feelings. Which is why I feel that a vacation may be—

FW: Just stop right there. First, that’s bullshit. Second, I have a team that I have to think about, and if I leave, they lose their championships. Third….

Firewoman gets up and heads out into the Hallway of Random Encounters, Dr. Freedman following behind. They wind their way through the hallways until they come to IHOP’s Palatial locker room. Firewoman is playing with her Zippo, and gets to the door, kicking it in without knocking.

SYB: Hey!!

Skurge: What’s all this aboot, eh?

FW: This.

Firewoman grabs SYB by the nose, and holds up her Trios belt. Skurge tries to intervene.

FW: Stay back or I’ll rip his nose right off his face.

SYB: Owww owww!! She means it!!!

FW: See this championship? It is mine. All three belong to Team Fuel, and you three are not going to even come close, got it? My advice to the three of you is to just stay away from the ring Wednesday night, because I’m not in the mood for your games. If you’re ready for a serious ass kicking, then I’ll see you at Mayhem. If not, then take the night off. Either of those will sparkle with me.

Firewoman shoves SYB back into their Rock Band set up, knocking it over. Skurge goes to check on him as Firewoman leaves, followed by Dr. Freedman.

Dr. F: What about the third one?

FW: Oh yeah, I always forget about him.

Dr.F: You didn’t sent anything on fire.

FW: I didn’t have Express Written Consent from the bookerman.

Dr.F: Huh?

[mooseheadjack]

Poe is in his locker room doing pushups. He seems to be fully healed from the Dungeon Match. Selena comes up to him and drapes a garlic necklace around his neck in mid-pushup. He stops.

Poe: Goddess...whay is there a garlic necklace around my neck?

SG: To ward off the zombie!

Poe: Zombie?

SG: You're facing the Dead, pfft, d'uh.

Poe shakes his head and sits.

Poe: Goddess, First, I'm facing The Dead, not the walking dead. Second, garlic only wards off vampires...not zombies.

SG: Oh...

Selena looks side to side to see if Moose or LD were watching (they're not there) and slowly removes the garlic necklace from Poe's neck. She then looks at the garlic.

SG: Oh! Can we have spaghetti?

Poe is about to answer but then sees the ninja cameraman. He decides he should address his opponent this week.

Poe: Dead...you're someone I've kept my eye on since Mexico. You had a lot of potential. You've been on quite a roll lately.

Poe snarls and spits on the floor.

SG: NASTY!

Poe: But listen to me...any respect I may have or had for you helps you not Fortunado. You're coming into my world now. The glass ceiling has shattered and it will slice you to pieces. Welcome to the Main Event Dead. May you Rest in Peace.

Selena stopps over Poe and rests her head on his shoulder and wraps her arm around his head so that her hand is resting on top of his head. They both stare into the camera.

SG: Nevermore.

[mooseheadjack]

Phantos is inside the Run DLP Aquafina Locker Room happily bouncing on his trampoline. Lucios is sitting watching tape on the [Sponsorship Available! Call 1-888-4-RUNDLP for details!] Media Center. A Randomly Numbered sexy Female Journalist walks through the door and stops right in front of Lucios

Lucios: (Not even looking up) No. Go Away.

RNSFJ: You haven't even heard what I have to say!

Lucios: (looks up) Ok...

RNSFJ: Can I get a few comments.....

Lucios: (cutting her off) No. Go Away.

(just then Phantos somersaults off the trampoline and lands beside the SFJ.

Phantos: Helloooooooooooooooooooo Nurse!

RNSFJ: I'm not a nurse. I'm a journalist. I still have that costume, but I only use it for Halloween parties theses days.... nevermind all that. Are you ready for your No Disqualification match this week against the Chickenshit Heels?

Phantos: Just a moment (ducks around a corner and re-emerges wearing his Aquafina Cape, which begins flowing behind him.) Toots, my partner and I are always ready for Capps and Adrenaline. We've beaten them so many times it boggles the mind. They refuse to play fair, so we are forced to lower ourselves to their level. I'll say this Heels, We'll play your game, but can you play ours? We challenged you over a year ago to a Best 2 of 3 Falls match. you never answered the challenge, you Yellow-Bellied Cowards. So how's this? We beat you this week, next week it's Best 2 of 3 Falls between us. and after we win, we don't have to face your sorry carcasses again.

Lucios: (who silently pulled up to stand behind his partner.) Facing The Heels again is like a warm up-for our ultimate goal; Winning back Our World Tag Team Championships. We remain the best tag team in the business. The Measuring Stick, for those not familiar. And we're starting to hear the great Run DLP fans utter a familiar phrase. Uncrowned Champions. No matter who has those belts, kz, Gator and OBJ, whomever, they all know deep in their hearts that they aren't the True Champions until they get past us. If they don't, they wont ever truly Measure Up to The Division Killers

Lucios looks over at Phantos as the RNSFJ leaves.

Lucios: You were right last week, It felt DAMN good to hit those catchphrases again!

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in to the palatial IHOP locker room. SYB and The Amnesiac are playing Rock Band (which was put back together with copious amounts of duct tape after Firewoman knocked it over), while the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Fezzik, Monkh, and Jeffrey from Las Vegas play euchre in the corner. As usual lately, Skurge is nowhere to be seen…

SYB: …and that’s how you do it, chief.
Amn: You got booed off.
SYB: Yeah, but I almost made it halfway through this time.
Amn: You suck at this. Where’s Skurge?
SYB: I dunno. He hasn’t been around since Firewoman left last night. Wait a minute…around...
SYB: …a-ROUND…
SYB: …A-ROUND…
SYB: …see?
Amn: Weird. He used to be the driving force behind IHOP. Now, it’s like his priorities have shifted or something. Oh! Hey Sk–
SYB: That big, dumb Canadian fuck wouldn’t know a priority if it bit him in the poutine.
Amn: …
SYB: He’s so Canadian, he apologizes every time his opponents hit him.
Amn: …
SYB: He’s so Canadian, he thinks hockey’s a legitimate sport!
Amn: …
SYB: He’s so Canadian, uh, he…um…he…oh – he’s so Canadian, he can drink a case of beer without getting drunk! The stupid fucker.
Skurge: WithOOT getting drunk, jooboy. And I drink that case withOOT fruiting it up, Mr. Bud Light Lime.
SYB: Well, they haven’t bottled Italian Surfers ye–Skurge! Hey, man. Good to see you! Hey, The Amnesiac, how long has he been standing right behind me?
Skurge: Long enough to see you get booed off the stage playing “Eye of the Tiger.” You know that’s the easiest song in the game, right?
SYB: Yeah, but I was playing it on Medium.
Skurge: Whatever. Look, I know I haven’t been a-ROOND much lately, and I’m sorry for that. I’m here now, though, and I’m ready to compete this week.
Amn: That’s all well and good, Skurge, but where the hell have you been? And are you here to stay, or are you going to keep bailing on us?
Skurge: Fair enough, eh? Alright, I guess I can let you guys in on what I’ve been up to. When I came to the OOWF and joined forces with the Italian Joorfur over here, I came up with the name “IHOP” for our team. At the time, I took measures to protect the name, just in case we made it big and someone got ideas aboot using it for their own gain. Anyway, aboot two months ago, I was approached by a businessman who had a proposal for using the name. I liked what he had to say, and we’ve been doing business ever since. We fast-tracked the business plan (like, really, really fast-tracked it, eh?), and we’re opening for business this week, right after OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Geneva, Switzerland.
SYB: A grand opening?
Skurge: Indeed.
Amn: Are we invited?
Skurge: Indeed. In fact, I’m inviting the entire OOWF roster to attend.
Amn: Even our enemies?
Skurge: Even our enemies.
SYB: Wait, wait, wait. Let’s get to the heart of the issue here. You still haven’t told us–
Skurge: What the business is?
SYB: No, fucko. Whether we get in for free.
Skurge: I should’ve known. Yes, Solly, you, The Amnesiac, Dorothy, Fezzik, and Monkh will all attend free – and you’ll never pay a cent in this fine establishment as long as you’re members of IHOP.
SYB: Two things: 1. I officially have a man-crush on you. 2. What about Jeffrey?
Skurge: I hooked Jeffrey up with a job. He’ll be working in the kitchen.
Amn: So it’s a restaurant?
Skurge. Yep. A diner-style joint that serves mainly breakfast foods.
SYB: What’s it called?
Skurge: IHOP: The International House of Pancakes.
SYB: Pancakes? That’s fucking lame! Why not Bacon? Bacon’s a far better food than pancakes!
Skurge: It suuure is, my jooish friend. But then the restaurant would be called IHOB, which would defeat the purpose of using the IHOP brand.
SYB: Yeah, but…well…why not, uh, Peaches? Huh? Why not Peaches?
Skurge: Because it’s a breakfast place. Pancakes are traditionally a breakfast food. Peaches are not.
SYB: Fine. Looks like you thought of everything, Mr. Pancake Man.
Skurge: Guess that man-crush faded a bit, eh?
SYB: Fuck off. You know free stuff excites me. I can’t be held responsible for what I say after an offer like that.
Amn: So you mentioned a grand opening. When is it again?
Skurge: Right after OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Geneva, Switzerland. People can show up anytime they want after the show. We’ll have food, drinks, entertainment. Should be a good time.
SYB: And you said everyone from the OOWF roster is welcome?
Skurge: I suuure did. It’ll be interesting to see who shows up. Now, The Amnesiac, I believe you were looking for a competent drummer to join you in a game of Rock Band?
Amn: Yeah. Wanna start with “Eye of the Tiger” to warm up?
Skurge: Nah. Let’s go with “Painkiller.” On Hard.
SYB: *gulp*

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

The Chickenshit Heels are in front of the OOWF banner, sans a SFJ. It's Old School promo time!

JA: Phantos! Lucios! You just don't get it, do you? We beat you once, then beat you again, and then--last week? Oh yeah, we beat you again! So now you want to call the shots for this week's No DQ match? You win and you get your precious 2-out-of-3 falls match? Listen closely.

NO WAY!

We've beat you three weeks in a row. What makes you think one cheap victory, one fluke, gives you the right to make demands? We don't work for free. We're main eventers! Icons! You wander around here calling yourself the Measuring Stick, the Uncrowned Champions. Well, you know what? We were just recently champions. And once we finally get rid of you two whining, snivelling--ugly!--has-been never-weres, then we'll focus on winning those tag team titles for the fifth time.

So let me be clear. This week, it's a repeat. We beat you AGAIN! And even if we don't...if by some freak chance you win...no 2-out-of-3 falls. We don't work for free. In fact, you want 2-out-of-3 falls? You pay us $250,000--EACH--and we'll THINK about it. Tell em, AA!

AA grabs the mic, opens his mouth, then stops. He slowly raises his hand, and extends his middle finger. It stays extended as the camera fades to black.