MidWeek Mayhem (08/19) Live! From Sapporo Japan

[mooseheadjack]

<We cut to a conversation between OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe and GM the Eric>

GMtE: But, he DOES hold a win over Stank.....

Poe: I don't care, you will keep giving him Anders until he is ready

GMtE: But......

Poe: If you put him against anyone else, he will not show up for the match

<a long silence passes between them>

GMtE: Fine

Poe: And at the pay per view, I want Anders and Darling in a Hell in the Cell Weapons Match

GMtE: But..........whatever, ok, fine. Post this as you leave.

**************

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Sapporo, Japan

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Non-Title Three Way Dance[/u]
Poe vs. DH Magnusson vs. The Dead

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Stank vs. Nayr

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
kz vs. Japanese Team TBA

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Outback Jack vs. Matte

OOWF Campeonas De Trios Title Match - Onslaught Rules[/u]
Team Fuel vs. Run DLP

Winner Gets an OOWF World Tag Team Title Shot Next Week[/u]
Team TeAM vs. IHOP vs. The Chickenshit Heels

Matt Folz vs. Thim Reynolds
Concrete TG vs. SLEAR BV Man
Anders Denial vs. Alexander Darling

Card subject to attack of the Japanese Game Show

[mooseheadjack]

Tytan and Eco are in their locker room, about to go to Taco Bell or something when there's a knock on the door. Eco opens the door and sees Poe standing before him, with Selena by his side.

Eco: What do you want?

Poe: I am here to offer you a gift Mr. Ecosystem.

Eco: I don't want anything from you.

Poe: We are in Japan. You of all people know it is rude and shameful to reject an offered gift.

SG: Dude, don't reject presents.

Poe: I mean you no harm in coming here. I would not have brought the goddess if I had.

Eco ponders this then steps aside allowing him to enter. Tytan stands all scary and snarls at seeing Poe.

Poe: Partner

Tytan says nothing but acknowledges a nod from Eco to sit down.

Eco: So what do you want?

Poe holds out a smaller replica of this bust:


Poe hands it to Eco.

Eco: What is this?

Poe: It is a bust of Pallas Athena.

Poe then stands over Eco, staring at him.

Poe: 'Tis something to sit upon little raven. For you have come rap tap tapping at my chamber door. If you continue to rap tap tap on my chamber door, pain and misery you will find...

Poe snarls.

Poe: ...and nothing more.

Tytan stands again. Poe looks his way, then back to Eco.

Poe: Be careful Eco. That bust may find its way up your ass if you sit on it too long.

SG: That's just nasty!

Ty: I WILL CRUSH YOU!

Poe looks to Tytan.

Poe: Nevermore.

Poe turns to leave with Selena in tow. Selena turns around as she leaves.

SG: Namaste Meanyhead & Meathead. HA! Meanyhead & Meathead, that's great, where do I get this stuff?

Selena laughs as she follows Poe.

Ty: I always hated her.

Eco looks at the bust and tosses it over his shoulder and it crashes to the floor in pieces.

[mooseheadjack]

In the Team Fuel locker room, Evans and Larson are jubilant over their win, while Firewoman is... not.

C"L"E: Brass knuckles. Great idea.

"B"BL: I picked it up while watching Court TV.

C"L"E: Is that what you've been doing?

"B"BL: Yeah, who knew it was even still on over here.

C"L"E: Fire, I thought you were popular over here? How 'come you get booed?

FW: Dunno. Probably that attempted murder thing...

Larson and Evans laugh, but their laughter falls off as they start to question whether Fire is joking.

C"L"E: Aren't you glad we won?

FW: Of course I'm glad we won. And, soon as my head stops throbbing from that last little chair shot there, we are going to go out to a little place I know, that the fine members of the Japanese police pretend they don't know about, and look for the male or female or both to share in my celebration with me.

C"L"E: So, why are you not --

FW: Because, we have a rematch in a week.

C"L"E: We do?

She thrusts the run sheet into his hand.

FW: If you can explain to me the logic of a rematch clause in a match that is, essentially a rematch clause match, good for you.

C"L"E: GM the Eric is a --

FW: Yes. Yes he is.

C"L"E: Okay, so we beat them again, we use the--

FW: It's Onslaught Rules genius. That means no shenanigans, 3 rope breaks--

"B"BL: Is it three rope breaks for each of us? Or do we each get one? And since it's a 15 minute time limit, and there's actually six people, shoudln't that be a 45 minute--

FW: I don't know. Ask the douchebag who came up with this.

C"L"E: So, we'll beat them clean. Maybe that means Samantha can't come down to the ring--

FW: Oh, speaking of which...

"B"BL: What the hell was the deal with all the bandages? All you did was pull her hair a little--

Larson's words stop abruptly as Firewoman lets loose with a huge Bitchslap of Disrespect, that knocks him back over his chair. She goozles Evans, and slams him down onto Larson.

FW: That's at least twice you two have left me alone in the ring. Don't let it happen a third time.

Larson and Evans slowly untangle themselves and try to get to their feet.

FW: Now come on, if you want to have a wide variety of ... new friends to choose from.

Firewoman leaves, with, as always, Lucky. Evans and Larson groggily follow her out.

[mooseheadjack]

(Right back to the first scene.)

Tytan: Why'd you break that? We could have resold it. Work smarter, not harder man.

Eco: Have you seen Matte?

Tytan: Not since he lost the title, no.

Eco: I'm not happy with that. I gave him that title with the specific expectation that he was capable of retaining it. I understand he had to wrestle two matches--

Tytan: But the first one was two minutes.

Eco: Right. Just...I'll make sure he's training for his rematch.

(Eco looks down at the broken bust.)

Tytan: Eco?

Eco: Yeah.

Tytan: Speaking of focus--I need to make sure your head is in the game for this #1 Contenders' Match.

Eco: Of course. I'm entirely prepared.

Tytan: I mean, we lost to IHOP this week--

Eco: Because they cheated to get a pin on you.

Tytan: Oh, I know we'd kick their ass in a straight match any day. But we have them and the "Heels" to contend with. And if you're ready to kick ass but have your mind on Poe, then Johnny is going to get a pin on SYB while we're both looking the other way

Eco: (smiles) I like it when you think about strategy.

Tytan: (shrugs) It's something I've picked up.

Eco: You're right, Tytan. I am thinking about Poe. A lot. It's bothered me for a long time that such an evil man is not only the standard-bearer for this company, but gets regularly cheered for his sadism. I think coming home and hearing his deafening receptions...it made me realize how deep the damage he is doing goes.

Because it matters beyond the physical torture of Alexander or the psychological torture of Alexis. It matters because of what it says to those watching in the audience. Especially the children, because no matter how much we play up the adult nature of this business and differentiate ourselves from a "WWE KIDS~!" vibe, we still have a pretty broad appeal in that market. And what message does a lionized Poe send? The message is that once wronged, you can go as far as you like. The message is that you can ruin the offenders' lives, torment them to the ends of the earth. And the message is that you never, ever turn the other cheek. We used to teach that letting it go meant you were the bigger man. Now, it makes you a pussy.

Tytan: I'm not sure that's a bad thing. "If a man smite you on the cheek, SMASH him on the other."

Eco: Anton LaVey. I'm familiar.

Tytan: Well, that's how you survive in this business.

Eco: But Poe goes further than that. He's not just smashing, he's obliterating, body and soul.

Tytan: Fine. Let me say it again: how can I trust you're not going to focus on him during our match?

(Eco smiles.)

Eco: I am going to focus on him.

Tytan: Excuse me?

Eco: Not directly, of course. But this week, I'm not just looking for a chance to get those tag titles. I want those titles very badly--so that you can have that accolade. But I'm also looking for a chance to get those tag titles away from Jack and Williams. Because so long as those two hold the titles and stand by Poe, it magnifies his power, prestige, and worst of all, his self-importance. Bullies are bad enough on their own. But when they have a gang of thugs, they become insufferable.

It's not worth it to try to beat up the whole gang. You can, of course, but they don't deserve it. The only way to deal with that is to show the gang that they have nothing at stake in the bully's success. That he cannot protect them nor elevate their status. We are going to win this week, Tytan. And then the next week, we are going to take those tag titles from kz. And then--and ONLY then--will Moose and LD get a chance to decide whether indulging Poe's sadism and providing him cover for his actions is worth their time and energy.

Tytan: I like it. Are we going to Taco Bell or what?

Eco: Go pull the car up. I'll be right with you.

(Tytan heads out. Eco looks back at the shattered bust.)

Eco:`Prophet!' say I. Thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

There is no balm that soothes hellfire, and there is no peace for the wicked.

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan is walking out to the car when he is stopped by SFJ#41.)

SFJ#41: You lost to IHOP and now Eco is causing waves with the champ. Do you have anything to say with what is going on?

Tytan: First off IHOP cheated to get the win. Send a memo to our dear GM and get these ref's some better eye care plans.
Second, you see that has just made us even more focused. It comes down to this, Poe and his band of thugs have been ruling the roost for to long now. It's time some people took a stand against them. The fans cheer them and look at what they are doing. You see Poe, this is what should have happened when I went after Run-DEA and you showed how much of a man you really are. This is how it should have been when I went to war....your partner is suppose to watch your back and you are suppose to watch his. This time Poe you and your Merry Little Men have something new coming at you. A team that is sick and tired of your bullshit. Next week at Mayhem is where it starts. IHOP you pissed us off and we are going to make you pay for that. Heels, you had your chance you lost now your best bet is to let the better team take out kz boys and we know that ain't you.

(Tytan then sees SYB walking away he bolts toward him and spears him. Then finishes him off with an Elclipse.)

Ref appears and covers...1...2...3

Winner and still Champion-Tytan!

Oh and we will break you!

[mooseheadjack]

Exterior shot at night of Firewoman, Lucky, Chris "Lionheart" Evans, and "Bulletproof" Bryce Larson at a crowded night club area of Sapporo. Through the magic of television, we see a sign translated for us, and learn this is the Susukino district of Sapporo. The four walk around, looking at the lights and clubs, and then at some point, Firewoman makes a right turn down an alley, with Lucky following behind. Evans and Larson hesitate a moment, and then shrug and follow. Firewoman leads them to a warehouse, or at least what looks like one, with the door illuminated by only a red light. Firewoman checks the sign on the door, which has this symbol on it.



L: Didn't we do this before? In Thailand last year? When Alexander met the transvestite?

FW: Heh...yeah. Just make sure friendly people still owned it.

C"L"E: What is ... it?

The door swings open, and a very attractive, young Japanese woman opens the door, dressed in black vinyl, and ushers them in.

"B"BL: Ah, should have known. Bondage club.

FW: No, idiot. This is a soapland

C"L"E: A what?

"B"BL: Awesome....

L: Really? Well, okay...

They enter and are surrounded by loud techno music, pulsing lights, and people. Some are clientele, but some are employed, and there's about whatever anyone in OOWF would want there. The four find a table and sit, Firewoman with her back to the wall, and a waiter comes up to them.

Waiter: You Americans? What you drinking? We have Bud Light.

FW: Jameson's for me.... and then the boys'll have...

Waiter: Aka Raion! It's you!!!

FW: Hi, Takuya.

Takuya shakes her hand exhuberantly. Firewoman smiles politely.

T: I almost not recognize you. You dye your hair black!

FW: Yeah, for now.

T: Very sexy! It's so good to see you again! When you left NOAH, we had to fire three workers!

FW: Very funny.

T: Your first round on me. Welcome home!

The other members of the party place their orders, and Takuya runs off to get them.

C"L"E: I don't mean this to sound like a line, but you came her often?

FW: Often enough. Actually it's very popular among wrestlers.

"B"BL: Maybe we'll see some of your old friends!

FW: (under her breaht) Yeah, let's hope not.

Takuya brings the first round, and chats with Fire a bit, while the others taken in the 'scenery.'

T: You bringing any other wrestlers? We like them. They tip big.

FW: Enough of them wrestled over here, I'm sure they know the place. They'll find it eventually.

Takuya leaves to take care of other tables. The four

"B"BL: So....

FW: See something you like, Larson?

C"L"E: I do....I can't decide.

FW: Well, don't jump the gun, Cubbie...We have all night. Go dance, go talk..... take your time.

Evans does just that, as do the rest of them off and on throughout the night.

[mooseheadjack]

(Matte walks into the soapland with Super Mario.)

SM: MAMA MIA! Attsa lot of hot yellow lady.

Matte: Pretty much. I heard Fire is in here somewhere, and I wanted to have a little chat with her regarding her attack on me last week.

SM: I've got a better idea. Why don't you spend your time training so that you can win back the Onslaught Title you unceremoniously dropped last week?

Matte: Why don't you just go back to the jokes, wop?

SM: Oh, my apologies. MAMA MIA YOU AN ASS-A-HOLE!

Matte: You know what, you fucker, I'm going to--

(Two women approach Super Mario and Matte.)



Lady #1: You boys have very dirty mouths.

Lady #2: Come with us and we get you clean.

SM: ....

Matte: ....

SM: ....

Matte: ...Just say it.

SM: MAMA MIA!

ELSEWHERE

(Eco and Tytan are eating at the Taco Bell.)


Yes, the American company selling Mexican food's location in Japan uses Chinese characters.

Eco: You know, we should really change up what we eat sometimes.

Tytan: Probably. I think you started the Taco Bell thing. If we stick with it, we might be able to get endorsements.

Eco: Nice promo on Poe, by the way.

Tytan: How did you see that? Weren't you inside?

Eco: It's on the TV above our heads.

(Tytan looks up.)

Tytan: Well, so it is. You know you've made it when you can walk into a restaurant and watch yourself on the screen.

Aug 13, 2009 21:06:21 GMT -5 fasteddie said:

You see Poe, this is what should have happened when I went after Run-DEA and you showed how much of a man you really are. This is how it should have been when I went to war....your partner is suppose to watch your back and you are suppose to watch his.

Eco: You know, I wasn't fully aware of how Poe treated you as a partner. I'm glad you know I have your back.

Tytan: Well, you haven't given me a reason to think otherwise yet.

Eco: And I won't. Tytan, I'm a lot of different things, and they're not all good. I'm occasionally erratic, I'm sometimes careerist, and I'm definitely a hypocrite from time to time. Just look at me telling Firewoman not to make things personal and starting this shit with Poe after he made me snap.

But let me assure you of one thing--I am loyal. Fanatically so. When Moose and I broke up, he turned on me and ejected me from my own federation. When I teamed with The Knife, it ended with his exit from the company. When I teamed with Voltage, the same thing. I don't double-cross. Not just because I'm a good guy, but because I function better when I have people I can trust. And the only way to get trust these days is to prove you're worthy of it.

Tytan: (grins) Does proof only cut one way, or do I have to earn your trust?

Eco: (smiles) I think you got that locked down when you went and saved Alexander fucking Darling for me just because it mattered to me. Speaking of which...care to do one more little stupid thing for me?

Tytan: Sure. How little?

Eco: (handing Tytan a card) I need you to place a call so I can set up a meeting. I'm pretty sure I have the right number.

Tytan: (reading it) MORELAND? Why do you need to talk to him, the Trios Titles? Besides, we can just find him backstage.

Eco: Wrong Moreland, buddy. Check *her* first name.

Tytan: (squinting) Oh. Gotcha. Well, not sure she'll talk to me, but I'll do what I can.

Eco: Thanks man. I have to place a call of my own.

(Tytan whips out his cell phone and walks off. Eco pulls out his own and dials, putting it up to his ear.)

Eco: (waits) Hey, it's Eco. (Pause.) Good, I'm glad I got you. I need you to talk to Eric, and I want you to play hardball with him. (Pause) Yes, I know. (Pause) Yes, I know, but I think you have enough clout. Besides, you're very charismatic.

ELSEWHERE

(Yoshi-san is in a phone booth.)



Yoshi: They assaulted me! Smashed my head against the mirror! He even gave me a swirly! (Pause.) That's when they put your head in the toilet and flush. (Pause.) It's not very funny! I need back up to take care of him. (Pause.) But... (Pause.) Yes. You do not have the resources at this time. I understand. Yes. I will return.

(Yoshi-san hangs up.)

Jul 31, 2009 13:04:30 GMT -5 @ecosystem said:

Eco: I don't think there will be. (Eco grabs Yoshi's collar.) Yoshi, I think you are a little man who talks real big about a powerless organization. I think your Yakuza branch is so damn weak that getting a B-celebrity wrestler to do your dirty work for you seemed a lot more attractive than trying to fend off law enforcement on your own.

Yoshi: ...Maybe he was right.

ELSEWHERE

(BRICK~! is on the cell phone in the hallway at the arena.)


Cartoon versions of talking bricks are limited.

BRICK~!: Fine. I'll talk to you later.

(BRICK~! closes the phone and walks into GM the Eric's office.)

BRICK~!: Hey Eric. I need to talk to you.

GMtE: What's going on, BRICK~!?

BRICK~!: You've been giving Poe a lot of leeway in booking over the past couple weeks.

GMtE: Well, he's the World Champion--and honestly, given that weird thing with Alex, I'm not really sure what my alternative is.

BRICK~!: Well, I'm here looking for a favor this week. Maybe something that will encourage Poe to make fewer demands of you.

GMtE: ...I'm willing to listen.

ELSEWHERE

(SYB gets up in the parking lot.)

SYB: Ow.

[mooseheadjack]

<inside the club the music is bumping and everyone is having a good time. The camera picks up Fire talking to two Japanese guys with long hair, shirtless of course, with crazy abs. After some small talk, they nod and she begins to lead them to an exit from the main floor. As they get to the door, someone grabs Fire’s arm and spins her around, on instinct she swings, but the swing is blocked. We see that it is Moosehead Jack standing there>

FW:<hissing> You better have a DAMN good reason for stopping me

MHJ:<looking at the two pieces of meat Fire was with> Maybe I am saving those two from a world of hurt?

FW: <shaking away from Moose> Thanks for your concern I won’t break them……..too much

<Fire goes to leave again, and again Moose stops her by stepping in front of her>

FW: You have two seconds to move

MHJ: This isn’t about those two, look out there on the floor, I think your boys are about to be in trouble

<Fire looks out at the floor where Larson and Evans are dancing with several attractive women. Around the floor, we see several men dressed in suits filing in and heading toward them. Without a word, Fire sprints toward the floor. Moose and LD Williams follow her . Moose catches up just before she gets to them>

FW: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!

MHJ: Get those two and disappear

FW: WHAT?

MHJ:<snarling> Just fucking DO IT

<Fire glares at Moose then takes a step back and grabs Larson and Evans, who are just now realizing that something is going on, they disappear into the crowd while Moose turns and looks at the lead man who has just made it to the middle of the floor>

MHJ: Gentlemen. How can we help you?

G: Please step aside, we have business to attend to.

<the man tries to push aside, but Moose and LD step in their way>

MHJ: Not tonight. I think it would be in your best interests to turn around and leave.

G: <smiling> I know who you are Mr. Jack. And you Mr. Williams. Your reputations precede you. This is not your fight. Please step aside before this turns into something you will regret.

LD:<getting right in the mans face> Your boys take one more step and you will see how well deserved our reputation is

<A tense silence passes between kz and the men despite the music blaring on the floor, and people dancing around them. Finally Poe steps into the picture>

Poe: Ahhh, Mr. Tunichi. It has been too long.

Tunichi: <somewhat surprised> Omar! I didn’t know you were here tonight

Poe: <somewhat annoyed that Tunichi used his name> Mr. Tunichi, I think, perhaps, you forget that you are in the house of another family. Causing trouble here would bring shame and………pain on your family. Is that in your best interests right now?

<Tunichi looks around and realizes that he is probably outgunned. He puts on a fake smile and bows to Poe and kz>

Tunichi: Perhaps our business will be settled another time, in another place.

<with that Tunichi takes his men and they leave. Poe and kz turn around and see Fire, Larson and Evans standing there. Fire glares at the three of them, while Larson and Evans look completely lost. After a few tense moments, kz and Poe turn and leave. Fire looks around and spots the two hunks of meat she was about to leave with and snaps at them. They follow her out the exit this time. Poor souls. Larson and Evans shrug and go back to dancing with……well, everyone>

[mooseheadjack]

Poe walks over to where A’isha told him she’d meet him. He’s a bit surprised to see the getup she’s wearing.



Poe: Really?

A: Dude, you wear leather everywhere you go. That’s kinda gay.

Poe: I have an image to maintain.

Selena comes running up to them.

SG: A’isha! They have balloons in the bathrooms!

Selena opens the wrapper and blows up the balloon…that has a reservoir tip.

A: Those are condoms.

Poe looks at A’isha funny. Selena lets go of the condom and it flutters away.

SG: I…knew…that…

A guy comes up behind Selena and starts to dance up on her. Selena looks grossed out. Poe grabs the man by his forehead and shoves into the sea of dancers.

A: Way to keep a low profile.

Poe: Why do I get the feeling you’ve been here before?

A: Sapporo is a great place to ski.

Poe then notices this girl staring at him from the bar.



Poe walks over to the bar and sits on a stool beside her. He makes a point to not look at her initially.

Poe: You’re a brave girl, Saki.

S: Poe-san.

Poe finally looks at her.

Poe: I got your present. A yo-yo. How…cute.

Saki says nothing.

Poe: You are to never go to my home or speak to anyone associated with me, do you understand?

S: Ah, on to threats now are we? Poe-san, my investigation is bigger than you, your pride, your privacy, or your so called legacy.

Poe: You think you have something to find?

S: My bosses do.

Poe: How is ol’ Kira anyway? Is he still hobbling around like an eighty year old man? That’s what happens when you cross the people you claim to be after. I’d hate to see a pretty thing like you end up the same way.

S: I do not intimidate easily Poe-san.

Poe: Good luck then.

Poe sneers at her.

Poe: But if you every go to my home, or to my daughter ever again, I can not be held responsible for what might happen to you.

S: Poe-san?

Poe looks at her as he’s about to walk away.

S: You might want to tell Miss Lisa Quinn and the one who calls himself Ecosystem that they may be hearing from me soon.

Poe: They are not my concern.

S: Poe-san?

Poe turns around again, getting visibly frustrated.

S: We are not friends. You call me Asumiya Saki. It is the proper respect…something you preach about, yes?

Poe sneers, but nods his head.

Poe: Asumiya Saki.

S: Poe-san?

Poe turns around again.

S: I won’t be this nice next time.

Poe: Neither will I. Namaste…Asumiya Saki.

Poe walks away while Saki finishes her drink with a smile.

[mooseheadjack]

*Wally B King and and old Japanese man are riding in the back of a limo*

WBK: Takahashi-san, this is indeed a great honor!

T: Wally, cut the crap.

WBK: Takahashi-san, sometimes I forget you learned English in Brooklyn.

T: I was pleased that Outback Jack won his match.

WBK: Glad to hear that, oyabun!

T: I am retired, and no longer use that title, Wally.

WBK: Well, the geishas still like to call you that.

T: Let's let that slide. I was pleased that Outback Jack won his match. I am still waiting for Jack of the Hinterlands or Back of Beyond Jack to wrestle. I spent many yen back in the day to develop them.

WBK: No worries, mate, they'll be around eventually. I know Back of Beyond Jack appreciates his training in explosives. As for Jack of The Hinterlands, I know he appreciates the time he spent with your yakuza family, and he regrets any permanent injuries he might have caused.

T: As you would say, no worries, mate!

WBK: So glad we agree, mate!

T: Still, honorable Wally-san, I would like to speak to Outback Jack in person.

WBK: Well, he did lapse into Empty Team mode when we got to Sapporo.

T: I think I can deal with that.

[mooseheadjack]

**SJF#47 confronts L.D. Williams as he returns to the arena.**

SFJ#47: “L.D., you just helped Moosehead Jack and Poe protect Team Fuel! Why would you do that?”

LDW: “Moose asked me to lend a hand. Said there was some possibility of bones that needed breaking.”

SFJ#47: “So you're not involved in the situation between Moosehead Jack and Firewoman.”

LDW: “I try to stay out of the games that Moose plays. What happened tonight was more about the gentlemen in suits than Fuel.”

SFJ#47: “What doyou mean?”

LDW: “Let's just say those men in suits and I weren't entirely new to each other and leave it at that.”

SFJ#47: “Okay...Any thoughts on your match this week with a mystery team?”

LDW: “Sucks to be them, whoever they are.”

SFJ#47: “What about team TEaM? Both Ecosystem and Tytan have had strong words for kz.”

**Williams turns to the camera.**

LDW: “Eco, I like you. You're a good wrestler, and a good guy. And Tytan, you do a damn fine job of breathing. You gentlemen have a problem with Poe's methods? Fine with me. You want to come after kz to get to him? Be my guest, but I really don't see how our killing you is really going to affect Poe's career one way or the other.

It seems to me that you gentlemen are ignoring your own best advice. Getting in the ring with kz is not, in any way, shape, or form, smart, but it is guaranteed to be the hardest thing you've ever done.

If I were you, I would forget all about kz and focus on IHOP and the Heels. Beat them, and you become the number one contenders. That's something to be proud of. It's also as close to the belts as you will ever get. Work smarter, work harder, work any way you want. It will never be enough to beat kz.”

[mooseheadjack]

(Eco walks into a local Starbucks with the camera following. He sees Samantha Darlng Moreland sitting at a table and sits down with her.)

Eco: Hello Ms. Moreland. Thank you for sitting down with me.

SDM: Well, "Firewoman" wasn't very helpful, Ecosystem.

Eco: Juni is fine. We're not in the arena.

SDM: Okay, Juni. Listen, Alexander needs help. He's going down a bad path, and I don't think I can help him this time. And the people who could make him listen--even Alexis--just can't get through to him.

Eco: It looks now like Alexis has fallen in too.

SDM: (sighs) I won't even speculate there.

Eco: So yes, I understand. That's obviously why I called you here. I hate Omar for what he has done to Alexander. But I'm not sure what I can do for him.

SDM: I don't think I can help you there.

Eco: ...Excuse me? I thought you wanted help.

SDM: I do. But you have no history with Alexander. And I know what you'd like me to say. You'd like me to say that if you just kick Poe's ass, take kz's title belts, and get the fans to boo the whole lot of them, Alexander will suddenly see the light and join in the ass-kicking of Poe.

Eco: I would very much like you to say it.

SDM: That's not true. I'd like it to be, but I very much doubt it. From the outside, with all the "master" dynamics, it must look more to you like a man seeking training for success who will bolt the second he realizes it's all not worth it. It's not that. It's far more complicated.

Eco: You mean it's far more fucked up. Like everything with Poe.

SDM: Exactly.

Eco: Like that weird little girl he keeps around as his 'goddess', not even older than his daughter, Selena Gomez. Honestly, that shit is--*Music starts playing*--hold on, Phone.

SDM: Is that a Selena Gomez ringtone?

Eco: IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT PROBABLY. (Eco picks up his phone.) Hello? Hey BRICK~!. Eric agreed? Fan-fucking-tastic. Thanks again for getting that done for me. (Eco hangs up.)

SDM: (snarky) Did you just get yourself a nice little title shot?

Eco: Nothing for myself. You know how Poe put Alex in another match with Anders and then proceeded to swing his dick around until he pushed Alex into a ridiculous Hell in the Cell weapons match for the pay-per-view?

SDM: (turning pale) I...I had missed that. Against Anders again? In this state?

Eco: Yep. Bit of a bastard, that fellow is. However, I apparently can swing my dick around a bit and change the booking as well. At this Midweek Mayhem...in the Non-Title Three Way Dance...there will be a Special Guest Enforcer.

SDM: Who's the enforcer?

Eco: Just the most talented, attractive, and charismatic athlete in the OOWF.

SDM: Did you ask Davin before volunteering him?

Eco: ...I guess you would have to say that.

SDM: Mmm-hmm.

Eco: Care to take a non-Davin guess?

SDM: I'm guessing you. And I'm also going to guess you're going to try to use this as leverage to protect Alex this week.

Eco: Bingo.

SDM: I also guess this is a rather risky idea.

Eco: Maybe. I make no guarantees. Now, I'm going to get going. If you think of anything constructive I could do for him or you, you have my number.

(Eco leaves the Starbucks.)

Pimply Kid at Counter: Hey! Your friend no pay for anything! You better buy tall latte to cover his ass!

(Samantha promptly walks over and gives the Pimply Kid at Counter a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! The giant hulk of a manager walks over.)

Manager: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SDM: Um...

(Suddenly, a chair crashes through the window. Tytan jumps through and spears the fuck out of the Starbucks Manager. He counts his own pin, 1-2-3!)

Winner and STILL DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion...TYTAN!

Eco: (popping his head in the broken window) You know. That kind of constructive.

SDM: Gotcha.

Tytan: Is anyone alive to get me a latte?

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is WALKING~! carrying around a bagful of free Run DLP t-shirts and he's handing them randomly out to passers by. He's nearing the Non-Sponsor Coffee Shop as we speak. He sees the busted glass, Tytan pouring himself a coffee, Eco and, of course, Samantha. Samantha freezes.*

SDM: Um...hi honey.

DM: T-shirt?

SDM: Excuse me, what?

DM: T-shirt. Do you have a t-shirt yet?

SDM: Yeah, like a billion of them. What the...

DM: Eco?

Eco: *guard up* Yeah?

DM: T-shirt?

Eco: Um...sure.

*Davin hands him a t-shirt*

DM: Hey Champ! Hey Tytan!

*Tytan wanders out holding a coffee*

DM: T-shirt?

*Tytan grunts something resembling "Yes". Davin hands him a t-shirt*

DM: So, I've been canvassing Sapporo handing out t-shirts...

SDM: Davin, I think you're over enough already, don't you?

DM: No. Not yet. Still have some work to do.

SDM: *sighs* So more t-shirt cannon stuff this week?

DM: Nope. You aren't coming.

SDM: What?

DM: Onslaught Rules. You're not allowed. Neither is Lucky or Jericho or whatever port in the storm Firewoman decides to bring ringside. Besides, you're busy.

SDM: Doing what?

DM: Secretly meeting behind my back trying to help your dumbass brother?

Eco: Wait. How did you -

DM: Ninjas.

Eco: Oh yeah. Duh.

DM: So, I would request that you stop doing that, Sammy.

SDM: Um...he's my brother...so no.

DM: He doesn't even LIKE you.

SDM: That's not true. He does. Somewhere in there.

DM: Sure. Whatever you say. So let me ask. Why didn't you ask ME, why Eco?

SDM: Cause he has connections and he seems to have an issue with Poe and...

DM: And *I* don't have an issue with Poe?

SDM: Well, sure, of course you do, but the booker wants everyone to forget that ever happened.

DM: Sure.

Eco: Listen, it's a mutually beneficial agreement. We get Alex out, that messes with Poe, leaves him right where I want him.

DM: Of course.

SDM: Davin, it seems like you have a real problem with this.

DM: With helping your lazy-ass, freeloading piece-of-shit brother? Yeah. I have a fucking problem with that.

SDM: Well, too bad.

DM: No. NOT too bad. Sorry Sammy, I get a say here. And I say NO.

SDM: Whatever. I'll see you later, Eco.

*Samantha walks away with Eco half-waving. Eco promptly gets slammed up against the wall by a Davin forearm*

Eco: Something you *cough* wanted, Davin?

DM: If you want to go after Poe, go after Poe. Do NOT drag Samantha into it. Are we absolutely clear here?

Eco: Of course, Davin. That said, you need to know, SHE called ME.

DM: I understand that. But now...you say NO. Got it? That piece-of-shit brother of hers is not going to get her into a dangerous position. I will not allow it.

Eco: I get it.

DM: Good. Cause I'd hate to have to find another Boo Box. KnowwhaI'msayin?

Eco: Nice talking with you Davin.

*Davin lets him off the wall and hands him a t-shirt.*

DM: Have a t-shirt for your troubles.

*He walks away, handing a t-shirt to a 7-year old girl walking her dog. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Tytan SPEARS the little girl as the dog takes off terrified. He covers*

YOUR WINNER and STILL IronMan Heavy Metal DDT Champion...TYTAN!

Eco: *facepalm* Tytan, we gotta go before we suddenly have to Work Harder.

*They both take off running from the scene*

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

*Outback Jack and Wally are sitting at a table in a club, flanked by women who obviously work for Wally*

OBJ: You're sure it's OK if we talk in front of them?

WBK: Takahashi will hear what we say anyways. His son may be running the business, but the old man still has eyes and ears everywhere. Besides, he understands that you're the right man to wrestle for the Onslaught title. He looks forward to you winning with the Croc Hunter or the Croc Tamer.

OBJ: I do appreciate it, but that doesn't solve my problem with kz.

WBK: Mr Takahashi reminded me that when The Team From Down Under and Empty Team were both suspended, he arranged for Back of Beyond Jack to get a spot and a major push.

OBJ: That's true. He also arranged training with that explosives expert and...

WBK: Let's not go into too many details, mate. I'm not sure if the statute of limitations has run out. Anyways, Takahashi has semi-retired, so he said he'll think about how he can help, but he again advised against getting involved in Yakuza business for now, so you should be concentrating on your match with Matte, and biding your time before striking against kz.

OBJ: I noticed you and he were gone for hours. Was that all he had to say?

WBK: Well, we were reminiscing about an incident involving LD's Momma...

*GM Eric runs in*

GME: Hold it! We're trying to run a family-friendly show!

WBK: I was about to tell a story about how she beat up 50 or 60 people!

GME: Oh, then carry on!

[mooseheadjack]

(meanwhile, back in the US, The Heroes' Guild have taken time to go to Indianapolis for the annual GeekConGenCon Convention)

CTG: (takes a deeeeeeeeeep breath) ahhh, I have missed being able to attend.

Nayr: We can by anime cheaper when we fly back to Japan

CTG: Certainly, Paladin, but you cannot put a price on the experience this convention brings!

(they enter the vendors' hall, which is bustling as usual)

Nayr: So where to first? I was hoping to pick up the World of Warcraft limited edition figure they're giving away....

CTG: My plan was simply to explore for now.

(the two wander the aisles among their fellow geeks)

Nayr: wow, you were right- we can walk the floor without anyone stopping us.....

CTG: oh, we'll be stopped.....

Convention photographer: Can I get a pic of you guys?

CTG: Absolutely, Citizen... Paladin, pose for the cameraman

Nayr: (draws his sword and takes and aggressive stance)

CTG: (Classic superhero pose)

CP: (takes a few pics) thanks, guys

(The two heroes continue to walk through the convention hall when they come across an older gentleman at a table full of dice)

Nayr: shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiies.....

CTG: Stay your hand, paladin! This man who you consider a mere peddler of gems is a legend in this business. This is Colonel Lou Zocchi, the man who created dice for Dungeons and Dragons.


((OOC - 1:25))

Nayr: (Boggles, then drops to his knees) I am not worthy!!!

CTG: (salutes) Colonel, it is indeed an honor

Zocchi: (waving off the accolades) no need for that, boys.

CTG: The respect is well deserved - you have been educating the world on the science of dice for over three DECADES! You created the infamous Zocchihedron, the 100-sided die!



You pioneered so many different types of dice, and stood fast to the quality of those which you produce!

Zocchi: now now, the flattery won't get you anywhere. However, since you're here, I do have a gift for you.

Nayr: a picture with you, sir?

Zocchi: we'll do that too, but I thought I'd at least offer you something.

(Lou meticulously tears a large, round sticker from a roll of stickers under his desk)

Zocchi: I have something that will help you in your journeys. It's something every adverturer should have and usually they talk about having it.......

CTG: I'm flattered, sir, but this is unnecessary.

Zocchi: Oh no, I insist. (hands one each to the heroes) If you're ever chased by a monster, just throw this over your shoulder, it'll stop him

Nayr: (looking at the sticker) I don't get it

CTG: I am likewise perplexed

Zocchi: This little item, once it hits the ground, will open up a pit that is 27 feet wide, 27 feet across and 27 feet deep.

Nayr: that's pretty cool

CTG: A very specific trap - but something I should expect from a great mathematician and engineer such as yourself

Zocchi: VERY specific - this trap is the Hole Nine Yards.

CTG/Nayr: Geek!

Zocchi: Welcome to my kingdom, gentlemen - sorry you couldn't stay.....

(with that Lou tosses a "Hole Nine Yards" under their feet and they plummet..... straight back to Japan)

[mooseheadjack]

*FADE IN TO THE OOWF ARENA IN SAPPORO, JAPAN*

<IHOP is in the middle of the ring and SYB is SPEAKING~!>

SYB: Ah herro, my Japanese friends! I am Sorry Ya Bastard and this is Skurge.

<Skurge bows>

<crickets>

SYB: I must say, we've had a busy time in Japan, especially Tokyo Disney, eh?

Skurge: Totarry.

SYB: The best part aboot Tokyo Disney? No lines for the rides.

Skurge: Seriously. It's like 6 billion Nate Corbitts with funny haircuts are walking aroond here.

<crickets>

SYB: Jeez, we're bombing so badly I might as well be Nagasaki and you're Hiroshima.

<Crowd boos>

Skurge: Dude. That's uncalled for. *I'M* Nagasaki.

SYB: My bad.

<Crowd boos furiously and starts to pelt the ring with dead fish and boxes of Ramen>

SYB: FUCK YOU JAPAN! THAT'S FOR SADDLING US WITH KAZ MATSUI!

<He throws the mic into the stands and gives the finger to everyone as he and Skurge head up the ramp>

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is WALKING~! through the Hallway of Random Encounters, but she doesn't look as relaxed as one would expect after Team Fuel's night out. She first meets up with Lucky.

L: Wow...you're back... early. Your partners are--

FW: Still there. I left.

L: But I thought you...and those two--

FW: Yeah, well, apparently Moosehead Fucko and his band of merry men scared them or something. I had an entire scene almost negotiated and then the one backed out.

L: What were you...wait...I don't want to know, do I?

FW: Probably not. You'd just have to testify later.

L: Right...well....

FW: Go on, I'm going to go get some coffee.

Lucky heads on his way and Firewoman heads toward catering, when she spies the tacky bleached blond hair of one Samantha Moreland-Darling.

Meanwhile, Samantha is getting some Aquafina for the gang back at the Run DLP Luxury Suites and doesn't see Firewoman come up behind her. Firewoman slips the garrote she's been carrying lately around Samantha's neck, and tightens it just enough to get her attention, but not enough to do anymore than make her neck red.

FW: Feel that? (Samantha nods) Good. Make a sound and I tighten it, got it? Samantha nods again) Wow, who knew you were the smart one of the family. Okay, this way, Sammiekins.

Firewoman leads her through the hallways, somewhat roughly, to Eric O' Mac's office. She of course does not knock, but goes straight in.

GMtEO'M: What the fuck! Can't you knock?

FW: I could, Eric, but what fun would that be? Besides, as you can see, I have my hands full.

Firewoman pushes Samantha into the room and as she does, pulls the garrote off, making it look like she's whipped her into the room off the garrote. Heck, maybe she did, a little. Samantha lands in the chair in the corner, and clutches her throat, coughing.


FW: See that, Eric? That, right there?

GMtEO'M: Yeah.

FW: I need you to keep that from ringside in our title match.

GMtEO'M: I don't really think you're in a position to make demands.

FW: Oh, but I think I am. As champions we have the right to make all sorts of demands, right?

GMtEO'M: Well, within reason, but....

Samantha tries to speak but it's difficult. Eric and Firewoman ignore her

FW: Bullshit. This is within reason. She interfered in two title matches already, and she's not even a wrestler. And for some reason, you granted DLP's request for "Onslaught Rules' even though they're not champions and shouldn't be calling the shots.

GMtEO'M: So?

FW: So? They think we can't win with a clean match? Fine. Let's see if they can win without their little cheating bitch here.

Samantha again tries to speak, and has some successful noise, but not enough to get Firewoman and Eric's attention.

GMtEO'M: I would love to help you, really I would, Fire, but Samantha here has a manager's license so--

FW: Fuck that, Eric. You're the GM. Make it happen.

GMtEO'M: I'm sorry, but the rules say managers can be at ringside. My hands are tied.

FW: Angry glare

GMtEO'M: Smug look

FW: Eric, I think I know a little more about hands being tied than you do. There's always a way out. Maybe we'll just not show for the match.

GMtEO'M: Huh? You couldn't do that. You'd lose the belts anyway, on a DQ.

FW: Yeah, we would. And we'd make sure everyone, from the geekiest Internet wanker to the chairman of WWE itself knows that it was because you refused to grant us one simple request, after granting a stip to our competitors.

GMtEO'M: The chairman of.... you mean....

FW: Yeah. The one who paid a whole heck of a lot of money under the table to make sure I wrestled for you while you were GM.

GMtEO'M: Angry glare

FW: Smug look

GMtEO'M: Fine. Samantha, you're banned from--

SMD: You idiot. Do you not watch your own show?

GMtEO'M: No....

FW: I was busy all night. Not as busy as I hoped, but...

SMD: Davin already made me promise I'd stay backstage. I wasn't coming out anyway.

GMtEO'M: He did?

FW: Oh yeah, I did see that.

SMD: So you nearly strangled me anyway?

FW: Yeah, it's a thing I have. Well, I'm glad we had this little talk Eric. You know, I feel better about a few things. I think I'm going to head back to the club now, see if I can persuade a certain employee there to see things my way.

Firewoman leaves Eric looking bewildered and Samantha very pissed off.

[mooseheadjack]

Alexander Darling and Alexis Darling in in matching Lotus positions side by side meditating in their room within Poe's locker room (it's like a palace you know).

The door opens and A'isha walks in carrying a bag. Neither of the Darling Twins look up from their meditation. A'isha kicks the foot of Alexander. He finally opens his eyes and looks at her. She kicks his foot again, making him spread his legs in front of him.

A: I have a present for you Boy.

Alexander continues looking at her, but says nothing. Aisha pulls out a Denver Broncos football helmet.

A: Broncos...get it?

Alexander tries to hide a smirk. A'isha places it between his legs, which quickly removes his smirk. A'isha places her foot on the helmet and gets leans to be eye to eye with Alexander.

A: You know, we have a lot in common. We grew up in relative splendor. We were both given everything we ever wanted, but it was never enough was it. There was always something more...

A'isha grabs Alexander's chin to make him look in her eyes.

A: You came here...to find fame & fortune. You end up being one of the most hated heels in the business. But now...you're nothing more than a joke, because you went soft.

Alexander is getting a little pissed off. Seeing this makes A'isha smile.

A: Me? Well I just started doing what I wanted. It's great having a daddy on the road all the time with weak minded servants of his too look after me, because you know what? They can't. Or at least after seeing what I liked to do with my spare time, they simply didn't want to.

A'isha smiles evily.

A: animals began to disapear from the neighborhood. Children began to refise to play at the playground, because that's where I played my games. They could do nothing to stop me. They knew who my father was. Their parents would get angry, but also do nothing...because they were scared. Not only of my father...but of me too...LOOK AT ME!

A'isha grabs Alexander by the chin again.

A: Daddy kept you away from me because he knew it'd change things. You'd realize what us al-Takritis were really like and capable of. You'd run away screaming. And that's why she helped you.

Alexander's demeaner changes from slight anger to concern.

A: I miss her Boy. So, I'm just gonna ask you this once, before you leave Japan since I don;t know yet if I'll be accompanying Daddy next week. Are you ready?

A'isha forces Alexander to nod "yes." A'isha then gets very serious.

A: Where is Mama K?

Alexander stares at A'isha as she stares back.

AD: I will never tell you or Master where she is, no matter what you do to me.

A'isha smiles.

A: You know, I respect your loyalty to her. I might have had the same loyalty to her a few years ago.

A'isha leans back up to a standing position. She then kicks the helmet into Alexander's groin resulting in a loud scream/groan/cry from Alexander. Alexis snaps out of her meditation and is about to jump up at A'isha when A'isha pulls out her butterfly knife and holds in front of Alexis' face as she shakes her head and *tsk's* Alexis.

A: But it does nothing to help me now, and that disappoints me.

A'isha grabs Alexander by the hair and holds his head up as he lays on the floor.

A: You're nothing but a waste of space. Even that joke Ecosystem feels sorry for you.

A'isha drops Alexander's head to the floor with a thud and then walks out of the room as Alexis hovers over Alexander, checking on him.

[mooseheadjack]

*Scheme Gene is interviewing Outback Jack*

*SG: Outback Jack, the fans want to know....

*SG stops speaking as Outback Jack grabs him with a chokehold*

OBJ: Matte, you are in my way.

*OBJ relases the chokehold, and Scheme Gene drops to the floor*

[mooseheadjack]

*Outside Ric’s Sandwich Shop*

A’isha is leaving with her sub sandwich when a masked figure dressed in all black starts to follow her. Before she turns the final corner to make it back to Poe’s Palace of a locker room, a kendo stick slams across the back of her head and A’isha drops like a ton of bricks. The masked figure gets behind A’isha and locks her legs up…

MOTHERFUCKIN’ CURBSTOMP!

The masked figure drops to the ground next to A’isha who is moaning in pain.

Masked Figure: Leave now before worse happens to you. This isn’t your place, so run-along before your Daddy has to bury his precious daughter. This was just a warning.

*Fade*

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade back in*

Hearing the commotion, Poe, Moosehead Jack, and LD Williams come to the scene of A'isha laid out in the hallway. Poe rushes to his daughter and helps her up as she comes to. She touches her face and feels the blood coming out of her nose. She looks at her now bloody hand and smiles and laughs slightly.

Poe looks at Moose and they nod. Poe carries A'isha back to the locker room. Moose grabs his barbed-wire bat.

Poe: LD...patch her up please.

LD nods as Poe leaves the locker room with Moose in tow. They wind through the hallways of the arena and come to the locker room of Ecosystem and Tytan.

Poe stands back and HIEROGLYPH's the door, sending it flying off it's hinges. They rush in, catching Eco & Tytan off guard.

Poe hits Tytan with a quick forearm and lunges towards Eco. Moose immediately hits Tytan with the barbed-wire bat. Tytan staggers and Moose hits him again. Tytan falls with blood pouring out of his head.

Poe grabs Eco and Irish Whips him out oof the door. Eco slams against the concrete wall and is immediately hit with a HIEROGLYPH that traps his head between Poe's foot and the concrete wall. Blood begins to trickle out of Eco's mouth.

Poe allows Eco to fall to the floor and then kneels over him. Poe picks Eco's head up by the hair as he barely holds on to consciousness.

Poe: So, little man, you wanted my attention. Well you got it. If you wanted a shot at me all you had to do was ask. But instead you go after my daughter like the coward you are. Well little man, all you've done is opened yourself up to a world...of PAIN!

Poe picks Eco up, slams him face first into the concrete wall, then picks him up into an OBELISK to the concrete floor.

Poe once again kneels over Eco and spits on him. He then stands, exchanges nods with Moose and they leave.

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is WATCHING~! OOWF-TV on his Non-Sponsored Smartphone Device and catches Poe's attack of Eco and Tytan*

DM: Ah...Omar...Intelligence never was your strong suit, was it, my friend?

SDM: *drinking ice water trying to loosen up her throat, but she's still speaking gravelly* What's that?

DM: Poe and The Lackeys beat up Eco and Tytan because they thought they attacked his daughter.

SDM: Did they?

DM: Probably. Assuming you can positively identify someone masked in all black that is.

SDM: Stupid.

DM: Yup. Almost as stupid as Lisa. I'll tell you what Lisa; I'm tired of your nonsense. Lucky for you, this is an Onslaught Rules match. Unlucky for you though, that the match will end. I will not tolerate violence against my family. No one gives a rat's ass why you're hormonal or crazy or whatever the fuck you think your problem is this week; but I have a problem when you make this personal. Oh, a word of advice? Ditch the two flunkies. They're holding you back.

P: *wanders in* So you're CLEAR on Onslaught Rules? You're sure?

DM: I'm only the longest-reigning Onslaught Champion of all time. I think I know a thing or two about Onslaught Rules.

L: *wanders in* You only had I Quit Matches.

DM: THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

SDM: So you get it?

DM: I got it. And those Championships? We're gonna get those too.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

Tough Questions Tom Grisham: We are here in the Hallway of Random Encounters, hoping to ask the tough questions of your favorite OOWF wrestlers.

Firewoman, Larson, and Evans are WALKING~! down the hall.

TQTG: Firewoman! Davin Moreland has said--

FW: Yeah, Davin Moreland says a lot of things. Davin Moreland is a pandering hack. Davin Moreland is talks a good game, but he's far from the nice guy he's portraying himself as these days.

For example, was it just not even a year ago that you turned on Stank in the ring, after joining with him to defeat Bennett's Army? Wasn't that you, Davin? I don't think you gave him a T-shirt.

TQTG: To be fair, Firewoman, you've done your share of--

FW: I have indeed, Tom, and I'm okay with that. Firewoman looks out for herself.

C"L"E: Careful....

FW: Huh?

C"L"E: Talking about yourself in the third person...

"B"BL: Total Douchebag Moreland move.

FW: Ah, right you are, boys. Thanks for the reminder...

TQTG: So where are you headed now?

FW: Concessions.

Team Fuel heads to the stand selling T-shirts and other OOWF paraphernalia, and TQ Tom follows behind. They look at the merchandise, and finally Firewoman settles on a coffee mug that says Run DLP on one side, and Runs On Dunkin on the other. There's some confusion, before a not-so-thinly veiled threat by Firewoman has the teenage boy working the stand agreeing to send the bill to GM the Eric's office. The three, er, four, including, TQ Tom, continue down the hall.

They come to a stop outside of Run DLP's locker room

C"L"E: You're sure you want to do this?

"B"BL: Shut up, Cubbie, she knows what she's doing.

FW: Both of you, shut up. Geez. Tom, there's a couple of things you need to remember. First of, recall Davin Moreland's recent promo?

TQTG: Um, yeah.

FW: Good.

Firewoman knocks on the door, and Phantos opens. There's a moment..... Firewoman smiles....Phantos....doesn't get a chance to do anything, before Evans and Larson come flying around her. Larson takes Phantos and nails him in the stomach with the bat he had hidden behind his back. Lucios comes out of the room, seeing what happens and tries to help, but Evans is on him, quickly, and takes him out with his own bat. Firewoman produces two sets of handcuffs from her leather jacket pockets, and hands them to Evans and Larson, who handcuff Team Aquafina back to back and together.

FW: Careful, Larson. Don't hurt Phantos.

Davin Moreland hears the commotion and comes to the main room. He lunges at Fire, but Fire is ready...with a taser. Moreland staggers backward and lands at Samantha's feet.

SMD: What the--

FW: You may want to be out of here for this. Why don't you run to get help, mm-kay?

Samantha pauses a beat, and then runs out the door, past Tough Questions Tom.

FW: As I was saying, Tom. You recall Davin's most recent promo. (She absentmindedly kicks Davin's foot.) See, here's where the delusion comes in, and let's not kid ourselves, Davin. You're not that far out of the loony bin yourself, Davin, and crazy knows crazy. You're the one that put your trophy wife into my line of sight, Davin. If she'd have just stayed on the sidelines, like a good Stepford wife, Davin, then none of this unpleasantness would have happened, Davin.

But, I understand that taking responsibility for your actions has never actually been your strong suit, Davin, and I'm willing to over look that, Davin. Because if I've learned one thing in my therapy sessions with Dr. Freedman, Davin, that is that I can't control other people. I can only control myself, Davin. So you continue to throw Sammiekins to the wolves, Davin. Just be careful about which den you choose. There's a few others around here who won't be quite as nice as me.

Davin groans.

FW: I guess we're both lucky that the match hasn't started yet, eh, Davin? I totally can't use this brand new toy I got in an Onslaught Match, Davin.

TQTG: Um....Fire....?

FW: Yes, dear Tom.

TQTG: Well, you said there were a couple of things to remember....and the one was....

FW: Oh yes, the one was Davin sending his wife to do his dirty work for him and then getting pissed off about the outcome, right, Davin?

She kicks Davin again. Davin groans again.

TQTG: And the other thing?

FW: Oh yes. That. See, lately Davin has this delusion.... again, more delusions... that we are still buddies. We're not buddies, Davin. We are NOTHING, Davin. So the fact that you keep using my real name, Davin? That's just a little irritating.

She stands over Davin, and her hand grabs the coffee cup she just bought out of her pocket.

FW: You know, Davin, even Jericho doesn't call me by my real name. You know why, Davin? Dear old dad would call me by name. He'd come home drunk, early in the morning, Davin.

Davin's listening, but eying the coffee mug in Firewoman's hand.

FW: Oh, remember that? We do have quite a history with coffee cups, don't we? So, Father of the Year comes home drunk and who does he yell for? He yells for me, Davin. He calls that name, that you so cavalierly throw around, Davin.

Firewoman brings the coffee cup down, and smashes it against Davin's skull, and keeps smashing it as she talks. It's a very sturdy mug.

And then he proceeds to tell me everything I did wrong, Davin. And each time he calls me that name, it's another smack, or another punch or kick. I can hear it like it was yesterday. Or my brother screaming my name, but not able to help. Or him crying it as my mother the whore dragged me out of the house forever. So you'll excuse me (smash) if I'd prefer, Davin (smash) you not call me that, Davin.

With the last "Davin," Firewoman finally breaks the mug, and it shatters in a million pieces. Davin's eyes roll back into his head, and Firewoman stands up, brushing her hair back into place. Evans and Larson are looking at her.

FW: What? Is this the first flashback you've ever witnessed?

C"L"E: Yeah...

FW: Oh well, I'm honored. Okay, let's go before OOWF security gets here, assuming Mr. McMahon even cares enough to send them.

They collect their various weapons, and turn to leave. Firewoman looks back, smiles at Phantos in handcuffs, and then leaves.

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan is in the locker room shaking off the barbed wire bat shot from Moose blood still running down his face.)

Tytan: Moose, kz. I have waited for a chance to get my hands on you. Moose you are a legend around here I want you to make me, I want you to make Eco and Tytan legends. Moose you think we are afraid of you think again. You just to busy doing what Poe tells you to do to realize what you did.

Eco I want to believe you didn't do it and Poe just decided to be the bully and did the thing bullies do. Attack first and not care what the repercussions are. But once again Poe you see I am back again you can't get rid of me, I told you the only way you were going to get rid of me was kill me. You didn't do it last time...so now I am back and I have friends. Poe your reign of terror is going to come to an end....and it begins with us taking your goons belts. Once we take them out of the picture the OOWF will see what you really are a spineless yellow piece of trash.

(Tytan looks to the camera man.)

Now get out of here so I can make sure Eco is okay.

(FADE)

[mooseheadjack]

(Ecosystem is lying down in a hospital bed. Dr. Cox from Scrubs is observing him.)



Eco: Wait, Dr. Cox? I thought you weren't real.

Dr. Cox: I'm sorry? Did, did you just question me? I'm sorry, I was under the impression you were inconveniencing ME by coming to MY hospital after getting hurt with your stupid wrestler-antics and wasting MY time while sitting in MY bed. Clearly, that's not the case, otherwise you couldn't POSSIBLY be so rude as to start questioning ME.

Eco: ...Sorry.

Dr. Cox: Anyway, you'll be out of here in a couple hours. Mild contusions, nothing serious.

(Dr. Cox exits as a bandaged Tytan walks in.)

Tytan: Can I go kill those fuckers now?

Eco: I...I don't actually think you should.

Tytan: Why, because I'm still hurt? I can wait a day.

Eco: No, it's more than that.

Tytan: Oh, come on. I'm all for Work Smarter, Not Harder but don't rationalize your way into being a pussy. They have to pay for this.

Eco: I mean...why did they do this? Were they so bothered by being confronted? We haven't so much as laid a hand on them.

Tytan: They're just bullies, like you say. Bunch of assholes, using some stupid daughter excuse--

Eco: Excuse me?

Tytan: Oh whatever. When Poe was beating you up, he was rambling about how we went after his daughter. Obviously, we didn't do anything like--

Eco: Someone attacked Poe's daughter?

Tytan: I guess?

(Eco starts cracking up laughing.)

Tytan: Um...are you okay?

Eco: Heh heh heh...ha ha....hee hee hee...

Tytan: Eco?

Eco: Hee hee hee...HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! (Eco is convulsing with laughter.)

Tytan: (grabbing Eco) CUT IT OUT!

Eco: Hee...sorry...hee hee...but it's...it's so FUNNY.

Tytan: Excuse me?

Eco: Poe's world is collapsing in on him, Tytan. I know what's happening. I just didn't think it would happen...so soon. How pathetic he is!

Tytan: I'm not following.

Eco: We did attack his daughter, Tytan.

Tytan: I certainly didn't. You attacked her?

Eco: Yes, and so did you. Not directly, of course. But the second someone stood up to him, this was certain to happen. His illusion of power is broken now, Tytan. He can beat the shit out of us any which way he likes, with as many friends as he likes. But it's all going to come back to him a hundred fold now.

Tytan: You're saying you know who attacked him?

Eco: I can surmise. Get healthy for tomorrow. We have a #1 Contendership to win.

(Tytan gives Eco a quizzical look and walks out. Eco starts quietly singing "Turkish Song of the Damned".)

Eco: I come old friend from hell tonight
Across the rotting sea...

Nor the nails of the cross
Nor the blood of Christ
Can bring you help this eve...

The dead have come to claim a debt from thee...

They stand outside your door
Four score and three...

(Eco breaks back into convulsive laughter until orderlies begin walking back into his room.)



Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh shoot shoot shoot! I thought I had put all the singing sociopaths down in the other ward.

Sweeney Todd: (down the hallway) Because the lives of the wicked should be, made brief! For the rest of us death should be a relief!