OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Atlanta, Texas
FIREWOMAN vs. DAVIN MORELAND – 60 Minute Iron Man, No Disqualification Empty Arena MatchThe arena is cleared by the security staff, and we get tight shots of the doors being chained closed. There will only be four people in the arena for this one: Fall River's Own Angelo Barros, Nameless Timekeeper, Firewoman and Davin Moreland. Of course, since there's no crowd, there's no music, and so Firewoman silently comes out from the back. She seems to take a second to adjust to the scene around her before climbing into the ring. Davin Moreland walks out next; conspicuously without his t-shirt gun tonight. He does the same look around the arena, but he gets a wry smile and claps his hands together as he jogs to the ring. IMPRESSIVE DOUBLE JUMP OF AMAZING ATHLETICISM into the ring, and stalks over to where Firewoman is. Fall River's Own Angelo Barros has a mic and he gets in between the two.
FROAB: Ok kids, here's the rules. Most falls after 60 minutes wins. Falls count anywhere in the arena. No disqualifications. 30-second rest period between falls. Try not to die. Ring the bell!The bell rings as Barros throws his mic to the outside and heads to a neutral corner to stay out of the way. Firewoman offers her hand to Davin...for a pre-match handshake? We'll see just how much of a Sting-esque pandering face Davin really is now. Davin looks at her hand, looks back up at Firewoman...KICK! WHAM! REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Barros scrambles over to count, but there's no need for the rush.
Davin Moreland 1 – Firewoman 0 (59:16 remaining)Firewoman takes fully half of the 30-second rest period before she's ready to go again. Barros calls the two together again, and Davin charges, looking to take advantage. Firewoman rope-a-dopes him and hits a Drop Toe Hold sending Davin hard into the top turnbuckle. He bounces off and looks dazed. Firewoman wastes no time and grabs Davin's head before hitting a SLICED BREAD! Fire covers and she may have it...1...2...3! Just as Davin's kicking out!
Davin Moreland 1 – Firewoman 1 (58:22 remaining)Well, apparently Michaels/Hart this is not. And thank God for that.
Davin is obviously pissed during the rest period, and he's full of piss and vinegar when Barros calls them back together. Davin blasts Fire with a straight right hand, and Fire tries to throw hands with Davin but...just no. Davin rocks Fire to the ropes, and clotheslines her to the outside. Barros looks irritated that he's forced to now leave the ring. We cut to Davin doing some Orton-esque knee drops on Fire. Fire looks like she's bleeding from the nose as Davin starts to hunt under the ring for toys. There are plenty; pretty any weapon you can picture is under there and Davin's pulling then all out. He chuckles and settles on a moderately-sized clangy pole. He whispers something to it (uh-oh) and looks to wield it with violent intentions. Davin winds up and takes a wild swing at Fire's melon, but Fire just does roll out of the way. She quickly grabs a Wii controller, and crushes Davin in the temple with it. This flattens the already-off-balance Davin. Fire looks for a toy which might be more fun; and grabs a chair. She blasts Davin in the back as he's trying to get up. Fire tries to cover, but Davin kicks out before Barros can even get into position. Fire gives up the chair and grabs some extension cord. She uses it as a bullwhip, with the plastic end cracking Davin in the back of the head. He tries to crawl to get away; but Fire's assault is relentless until Davin manages to dive over the retaining wall. Unfortunately, with no crowd there, Davin is defenseless as Fire hops to the top of the wall and hits a Shooting Star Press! She doesn't cover, however, opting instead to wrap the cord around Davin's neck. We'll call this the Attempted Murder Choke, just for fun.
Davin, as you'd imagine, is in big trouble. His face is a bloody mess and now it's turning purple. If he tapped, he'd at least get a 30-second break. But no, Davin is a stubborn motherfucker, and decides to try to fight out of it. Dumbass. He gets to his feet with Fire on his back, still choking him. Fire flips around and turns into a TOR-NA-DO DDT ON THE CONCRETE! Davin is gushing blood now. Fire covers, and gets the 3-count.
Firewoman 2 – Davin Moreland 1 (46:15 remaining)Davin really struggles to get to his feet and is gushing blood from about 5 different spots on his head. Barros calls the two back together, and this time it's Firewoman who charges; wielding the extension cord again. Davin, at the last second, Back Body Drops her into a bunch of chairs. Normally, people would break her fall. But tonight? Not so much. Davin is in no shape to follow up.
(45:00 remaining)Firewoman is actually up to her feet first, and starts to hobble toward Davin now, leaking blood as she does so. She doesn't get far though, as Davin SPEARS her into the chairs, breaking 7 or 8 of them along the way. Of course, these chairs are bolted down, so...ow. Now Davin gets to his feet and hooks Fire in. Davin hoists her up for a looooooooong Delayed Vertical Suplex. Davin completes it, and Fire crashes hard through more of the plastic chairs. Davin shakes out some more cobwebs before finding what's left of Fire. She doesn't appear to know where she is right now. Davin grabs her...by the hair...and drags her to the very top of the arena; and whips her hard into the wall up there as the pace has become...workmanlike.
(30:00 remaining)Davin, still just gushing blood, pulls fire to the edge of the seats, where it's about a 40-foot drop to the ramp below. Clearly, Davin does not care. He locks Fire in, and looks like he's going to hit a piledriver...but he jumps! It's a DOUBLE CANADIAN DESTROYER ONTO THE RAMP! Firewoman is now gushing blood from the top of her head, but Davin is not unaffected either. A full minute passes before Barros can get back over the steps and get over to them. Both combatants are out, and Barros wants to count, but that will do no good. He wants to call for medical personnel, but with the doors locked, it's going to take them a while to get there. He decides to make the Dreaded X sign to the back, and we'll wait for them. Neither Davin nor Firewoman appears to be moving at all, and Barros is checking pulses; looking very nervous. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Davin rolls over and drapes an arm over Firewoman. Barros counts...1...2...NO! Firewoman got her shoulder up! Both go back to bleeding and not moving again. A couple of minutes go by, until the medical personnel get to them, finally. Paramedics work on both of them. Lots of bandaging, they put an IV line in Davin and a hard neck brace on Fire. Both are on gurneys and start to be wheeled to the back, until suddenly Davin jumps onto Fire's gurney; completely collapsing it. Davin takes a bar from the collapsed gurney and starts to beat Firewoman in the temple with it.
The paramedics are yelling at him, so Davin starts yelling back, and it looks like there might be a confrontation here. That is, until Firewoman hits a SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP on Davin! 1...2...NO! Davin kicks out and is PISSED! Davin grabs Fire by the hair again, hitting a Snap Hair Takeover onto the ramp. He lets go of the clumps of hair in his hands.
(15:00 remaining)Davin grabs Fire and hits a MOTHERFUCKIN CURBSTOMP on the ramp, and flips over the bloody mess that was Firewoman. Davin gets that sinister look in his eyes, and walks down, before locking in the SHARPSHOOTER! Firewoman is, of course, super-flexible, so she spits out one of her teeth that was knocked loose and tries to look for a way out of this. Unfortunately, there are no rope breaks, so she comes up with something pretty ingenious. If she can get to the side of the ramp, maybe she can fall out of the hold, or better, flip Davin onto the concrete below.
(10:00 remaining)Firewoman finally reaches the side of the ramp, and does everything she can to slip out of the hold. Davin cinches it in tighter. She then tries to leverage Davin off; to the point where Davin almost flips over; but Davin has clearly had enough of this happy horseshit, and drags Firewoman to the middle of the ramp. Firewoman again tries to get to the side of the ramp, but Davin is having none of it this time. Deciding that at some point in the future she WOULD like to walk again, she taps out after a valiant effort.
Davin Moreland 2 – Firewoman 2 6:21 remainingThe 30-second rest period begins, and the medical personnel try to work on both combatants, but neither will have any of it. Davin limps down the ramp and starts to set up tables. Firewoman wants to stop him but she's struggling getting to her feet. Barros calls the two back together, but Firewoman is now standing up. Davin grabs a chair and starts hobbling at fast speed (Kevin Nash would describe this as “running”) and tries for a Van Daminator, but Firewoman ducks, and Davin hits the ramp hard.
(5:00 remaining)Fire wobbles over to the chair, and blasts Davin in the head with it. He's dead. You know, probably dead. Or mostly dead. Not dead, dead, but you all get the idea. Firewoman, instead of covering, drags Davin down the ramp (slowly) and shoves him into the ring. Firewoman stacks a second table on top of one of the others. She gingerly gets into the ring and sets Davin on top of the table.
(1:00 remaining)Fire eyes him momentarily and heads to the nearest turnbuckle. I've seen that look before! BEST! FIRESAULT! EVER! Through the tables to the floor below! Davin is still dead! Firewoman is trying to pull it together so she can get through the rubble and cover. She shakes the cobwebs out and crawls over to Davin and flops an arm across him! Barros is in position! 1....2...thr...
Time has expired. Firewoman 2 – Davin Moreland 2Firewoman is crestfallen. Davin Moreland is unconscious. Barros is confused. Suddenly, the image of GM Eric O' Mac appears on the Jumbotron.
GMtEOM: A TIE? Ties...are not entertaining. Therefore, we will not have a tie. We will go to...overtime. 5 minutes! Sudden Death! There must be a winner! And it starts...RIGHT NOW! RING THE BELL!The bell rings, and Firewoman looks over to where Davin was; but Davin has crawled into the ring, and is slowly dragging himself away from Fire. Fire hobbles and limps around before rolling into the ring. She walks slowly across, over to where Davin is slumped away from her. Suddenly he says something which is picked up by the microphones:
DM: Booyah, bitch.With that, Davin smashes Firewoman in the face with a previously-hidden and unseen Barbed Wire-Covered Sledgehammer (how does that ALWAYS show up?). It's stuck in the side of her face and her hair as she spins around, out on her feet, Davin jumps and hits a SORRY EXCUSE FOR A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but it's more than enough as he covers.
WINNER in 64:16 by a count of 3 falls to 2...Davin Moreland!
Post-match, Firewoman and Davin are both down, and medical personnel rush the ring as the doors are unlocked. As they're both being carried to awaiting gurneys, Firewoman straightens up and extends her hand to Davin once again. Davin says something like “Whatever, just leave me alone” and quickly shakes it before his gurney is pushed to the back.
ANDERS DENIAL vs. NAYRNayr the Halfling Luchadore sprints down the aisle and slides into the ring. He poses on the turnbuckles, then runs the ropes to warm up. The crowd’s cheers turn to boos as Anders Denial steps onto the stage and makes his way slowly to the ring. Nayr stares at him, and as Anders reaches ringside, sprints across the ring. Anders dodges, and Nayr spins through the ropes back into the ring, laughing. His laughter fades, however, when he sees the look on Anders’ face. Anders climbs into the ring, and referee Junior Hale calls for the bell.
Nayr backs into the corner as Anders advances, then rolls past him to avoid a lock up. Anders turns and advances, and Nayr repeats the maneuver. Third time is not the charm, as Denial catches Nayr and drives him to the mat with a forearm to the back. Anders pulls Nayr off the mat and pins his arm behind him, then lifts him by the arm and tosses him face-first into the turnbuckles. Nayr bounces back, and Anders hits a release German suplex with the arm trapped. Nayr rolls on the mat, clutching his shoulder, while Anders takes a moment to taunt the crowd.
Anders turns around as Nayr gets to his knees and punts him in the shoulder, sending him sprawling. He drags the smaller man to his feet by the mask, and slings him into the corner by the injured arm. Denial is right behind Nayr when he hits the turnbuckles, and buries a knee in his stomach, driving an elbow into the back of the luchadore’s head as he doubles over. Denial pins the arm again and lifts Nayr for a power bomb, bouncing him off the turnbuckles before driving him to the mat. Denial covers and Junior counts One…Two…Thr-Nayr rolls a shoulder just in time.
Denial pulls Nayr to his feet and sends him to the ropes. He ducks his head a moment too early, and Nayr rolls over his back and hits the opposite ropes. Nayr takes out Anders' leg with a dropkick, dropping him to one knee. He delivers a stiff kick to the head, goes to the ropes, and hits a shining wizard. Nayr goes to the corner and hops onto the top turnbuckle, but tweaks his shoulder in the process and takes a moment to get his balance. By the time he does, Anders is rolling to his feet, and Nayr hits a cross body, but Denial kicks out with ease.
Denial scoops Nayr onto his shoulder and runs him shoulder-first into the corner before turning and planting him with a power slam. Denial backs off and starts chopping his hand. Nayr gets slowly too his feet. The Busin-NO! Nayr ducked The Business Side! Denial turns and Nayr buries a kick in his stomach, then spikes him with a DDT. Nayr goes to the apron and waits for Denial to get up. Springboard – Denial swats the luchadore out of the air with The Business Side. Anders makes the cover and Junior counts One...Two...Three.
WINNER, in 8:32, Anders Denial.
THIM REYNOLDS vs. OUTBACK JACK vs. CONCRETE TGTime for a three-way match tonight as three of the contenders in the Onslaught Division get together and try to fight their way up to a title match. “Lay Your Hands On Me” by Bon Jovi begins to play and Thim Reynolds makes his way out. He ignores the boos of the fans and gets into the ring and starts his stretching. He ignores the loud ovation that occurs when AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” kicks in and Outback Jack makes his way out to the ring. He stands opposite Thim and seems to be calling to one of the beer vendors. We can see how diametrically opposed these two are in how they prepare for a match. And their other opponent is on another extreme level as Concrete Takaken Gryfon makes his way out to Joe Satriani’s “With Jupiter in Mind.” CTG takes his time on the way to the ring making sure to slap each and every fan’s hand like an uber-face should. He finally gets in the ring and Davis Hightower calls all the combatants to the ring and asks for a clean fight. Everyone goes to a neutral corner and the bell rings signaling the start.
It seems as if everyone is circling trying to get a read if anyone has partnered up, but it seems unlikely as all three charge towards the center of the ring and lock-up. No one gets the advantage and they all break apart. They go for it again and still nothing happens and it seems as if Thim is making some sort of deal with Jack. I believe the “phrase” free six-pack was mentioned and Jack charges Crete as Thim follows him in. OBJ is throwing some hard punches and Thim is laying in with some kicks of his own. Crete shakes the first few off and starts firing away at both men. A punch to Jack, back elbows to TR and CTG gets out of the corner. Thim is the first one to charge and he gets taken down with a drop toehold. Outback comes charging next and looks to drop an elbow on CTG, but Crete rolls out of the way and the elbow connects with Thim. OBJ shrugs and gets to his feet and gets plastered right away with a picture perfect dropkick from Gryfon.
Jack rolls to the outside and it looks like Crete is going to follow, but he’s stopped as Thim grabs him from behind and drops him with an inverted DDT. Jack is getting to his feet on the outside, but a SLINGSHOT PLANCHA from Reynolds catches him. Thim is back into the ring and he starts going right to work on Crete’s knee. He locks in a spinning toehold to start and really is wrenching on Crete’s ankle. CTG struggles to the ropes and Thim is forced to break the hold at 4. But he doesn’t let up as he drags Takaken up and whips him across the ring. Crete hits the ropes and ducks under an attempted clothesline from Thim. He hits the other side and gets dragged down from the outside by Jack. OBJ slides back in the ring and catches an unknowing Thim with a hard ROARING ELBOW. Outback stays on the attack as he hits a scoop slam on Reynolds. It looks like he’s going for another, but he gets taken down as CTG comes flying off the top with a MISSILE DROPKICK.
As CTG is about to go for a cover, it’s Thim spinning him around and looking to hit an ACE CRUSHER, but Crete fights him off and pushes him away. Crete looks to taunt Thim with a swift kick to the booty, but TR spins around and catches the leg. He moves in close and locks Crete’s arms up…HEAD-AND-LEGS THIMPLEX. Crete is done…
One…
Two…
Th…Broken up by Jack. He drags Thim up and hits a scoop slam. He follows that up a HOGAN LEGDROP. Now it’s Jack’s turn to go for the cover…
One…
Two…
Thr…now it’s CTG’s turn to make a save. He breaks up the count and sends OBJ flying to the outside. He drags Thim to his feet and locks in a half nelson. CTG is going for the CEMENT MIXER, but Thim is trying to fight back, throwing elbows as he hard as he can. CTG lets go of the arm and Thim takes him down with an arm drag. Gryfon gets back to his feet and Thim goes for the NECK CUTTER but a running knee takes him down from Jack. Thim goes bouncing right back into Crete who nails him with a FINAL JUSTICE. Crete has this won, but he doesn’t see OBJ running up from behind and Jack kills Crete dead with THE BOOMERANG. CTG goes crashing to the floor and Jack jumps over to make the cover on Thim.
One…
Two…
Three!!!
WINNER in 12:09…Outback Jack!
KZ vs. IHOPIHOP makes their way to the ring and gets a mixed reaction from the crowd. Seriously, are these guys faces or heels? Kz’s music plays and they storm the ring. Moose goes right after SYB, but SYB is ready, he pulls a hand full of powder out of his pocket and throws it in Moose’s face! Moos bellows with rage and falls to his knees, and SYB kicks him in the head, then throws him between the ropes and follows him to the outside. While that is going on, Skurge and LD Williams unleash some ultra Canadian Violence on one another. When will Canadian on Canadian violence end? Skurge ducks a punch from Williams and slips behind him and tries a German suplex, but LD blocks it and reaches between his legs and grabs Skurge’s leg and pulls him to the mat and tries a figure four, but Skurge grabs him in an inside cradle, but LD kicks out before the referee can even get to the mat and make a one count. LD spins to his feet quickly and catches Skurge with a clothesline as he stands up. On the outside, SYB finds a cord running on the floor and wraps it around Moose’s throat and threatens to choke him to death. Moose reaches up and gouges SYB’s eyes forcing him to release the choke. Moose staggers around trying to clear his eyes, and finally grabs a beer from someone and splashes it on his face getting the powder out. Moose turns as SYB charges and SMASHES the bottle on his head! SYB falls to the floor, blood running from his head. Moose snarls and lands several stiff kicks to the side of SYB’s head, then picks up a piece of the bottle and tilts SYB’s head back and carves his forehead a bit for good measure, drawing more blood. Inside the ring, LD Williams pulls Skurge to his feet and sends him into the corner and charges in, but Skurge gets his boot up catching LD on the jaw as he charges in. LD staggers away and Skurge hops to the middle rope and leaps, and catches LD on the jaw with a flying elbow. Skurge covers and gets a two count this time. On the outside, Moose has SYB on his feet and tries a whip to the stairs, but SYB reverses it and Moose goes shoulder first into the steps. SYB pulls Moose up and hits a SHYLOCK STUNNER! Then rolls Moose onto the Austrian Announce Table and climbs to the apron, then to the top rope! What the hell is SYB doing here? SYB leaps, trying for a JOOSAULT but Moose moves out of the way and SYB SLAMS through the table! Moose pulls SYB up, SYB is gasping for breath, he NAILS him with a heart punch, then DDT’s him on the floor. Inside the ring, Skurge pulls LD up and sends him to the ropes and stops him cold with a kick to the gut, then tries a suplex, but LD reverses it, and lifts Skurge up, but Skurge slips out of it and lands behind LD Williams and traps him in a COBRA CLUTCH! LD struggles, but Skurge hangs on like a bulldog, a Canadian Bulldog perhaps? LD struggles and Moose comes into the ring and NAILS Skurge from behind causing him to break the hold. Moose then hooks Skurge and hits the RANHEI! LD immediately pounces on Skurge and traps him in the CROSSFACE! Skurge struggles, but can’t make it to the ropes, and he is forced to tap.
WINNERS in 10:59 - kz
THE DEAD vs. ECOSYSTEM – Winner Gets an OOWF World Title Shot Next WeekEco and Dead are both announced and come to the ring to a huge ovation from the crowd. The two men meet in the middle of the ring and get the instructions from the crowd. The ref calls for the bell, and the two men shake hands and we are underway. The two slowly circle and lock up, Dead grabs an arm wringer and tries a crescent kick to the head, but Eco ducks it and pulls away. They lock up again and Dead grabs a side head lock, but Eco sends him to the ropes, then drops to the mat. Dead steps over him and hits the far ropes, Eco pops back up and tries a hip toss, but Dead blocks it and turns it into a monkey flip, but Eco lands him his feet and runs to the corner, springs to the second rope and turns and catches Dead with a cross body block, but Dead rolls through, gets to his feet and grabs Eco’s legs and tries to roll him over into a Boston crab, but Eco fights it. Dead finally turns it, but Eco is able to reach out and grabs the bottom rope and force the break. Dead pulls Eco to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop kick to the jaw, then covers, but only gets a two count. Dead pulls Eco to his feet and hits a gut wrench back breaker, then bounds off the ropes and drops a leg across his chest, covers and gets another two count. Dead pulls Eco to a sitting position, grabs his arms and plants his foot between his shoulder blades, trying for the submission. Eco grimaces in pain, but the crowd begins to chant his name and he fights to his feet. Dead breaks the hold and lifts Eco for an atomic drop, sending him to the ropes and tries a clothesline on the rebound, but Eco ducks it, and grabs Eco and DRIVES him to the mat with a dragon suplex, bridges, and gets a two count. Both men remain on the mat and the referee starts the ten count of doom. Eco gets to his feet first and heads to the corner and starts climbing the ropes, Dead manages to get to his feet as well and catches Eco on the ropes and tries a superplex, but Eco holds on for dear life. Dead tries to hook him again, but Eco blocks it and hammers him with shots to the ribs, then grabs his head and hammers him with a head butt sending Dead to the canvas. Eco regains his composure and waits crouched on the top rope, Dead gets to his feet and Eco leaps and hits a flying enzuguri that sends Dead to the mat. Eco pulls him to his feet and hits the ENDGAME! Eco covers, but Dead kicks out at two! Eco is shocked and looks at the referee and asks him why that wasn’t three. Dead gets to his feet, and when Eco turns around, Dead throws the CLOSE THE CASKET! But Eco catches it, spins Dead around and hits a second ENDGAME! Eco covers, hooking the leg and gets the one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 17:47 – Ecosystem
Eco celebrates in the middle of the ring, and his partner Tytan makes his way to the ring and they share a manly hug of much respect. Eco turns and sees Dead standing dejectedly in the ring, and offers him a knuckle bump of deep condolences, and Dead obliges, then makes his way to the back. Eco leaves the ring and takes a seat at the announce table where he will no doubt let everyone know that he is going to end Poe’s reign of terror next week. Tytan remains in the ring, and his challenger is announced.
TYTAN vs. SPIN HANSEN – OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship MatchSpin Hansen is announced, and he comes to the ring, looking none to pleased to be in this match instead of fighting Eco and Dead for a title shot. Spin stops at the announce table and he and Eco exchange some words, then Spin turns and hops on the apron and steps into the ring. The bell rings and Tytan comes after Spin, but Spin stops him with a kick to the gut, then sends him face first into the turnbuckle. As Tytan staggers back, Spin peppers him with shots to the face, then sends him to the ropes, Tytan tries a double axe-handle, but Spin goes low, catching him with a punch to the gut, sending Tytan flipping to the mat. Spin plants a boot on Tytan’s head, then takes a few steps back and lands a falling head butt and covers for a one count. Spin pulls Tytan up again and throws him into the corner and charges in, but Tytan gets a knee up that catches Spin on the jaw and sends him to the floor. Tytan follows Spin out of the ring and pulls him to his feet, lifts him onto his shoulders and hits a running senton flip thing and covers Spin, but only gets a two count. Tytan climbs onto the apron and waits crouched down, as Spin stands up, Tytan runs the apron and leaps off, taking Spin to the mat, slamming the back of his head on the floor. Tytan covers, hooking him hard, and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER and STILL DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion in 6:11 – Tytan Tytan gets to his feet and shares a high five with Eco, but he took his eyes off of Spin for a moment too long, and Spin nearly cuts him in half with a spear! Spin rummages under the ring and comes up with a barbed wire wrapped steel chair. Tytan gets to his feet and Spin SLAMS it down on his head! Tytan slumps to his knees, and Spin grabs him and PLANTS him on the floor with a short DDT, Spin covers and gets the one, two, THREE!
WNNER and NEW DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion, in 10:54 – Spin Hansen. We see that IHOP has come to the top of the ramp, SYB has his head heavily bandaged and looks annoyed as hell. Spin pulls Tytan to his feet and rolls him back into the ring and traps him in the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Tytan struggles, and somehow, uses his tremendous power to break the hold! Spin gets to his feet, and waits for Tytan to get up, then hits a LUNGBLOWER and covers one, two, NO! Tytan kicks out! Tytan is slow to get to his feet, Spin pulls him up and sends him to the ropes and tries a kick to the gut, but Tytan catches his foot, and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline! Tytan staggers and drops to one knee and pulls something from his boot……it’s a small chain! He wraps it around his fist and BLASTS Spin right between the eyes! Spin hits the mat, barely conscious, Tytan covers one, two, THREE
WINNER in 16:14 and NEW DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion – Tytan. Tytan gets to his feet and staggers to the ropes and checks the time. Before he can turn around again, IHOP is in the ring, SYB CRACKS him upside the head with a baseball bat, sending Tytan to the mat. Ecosystem leaves the announce table, and grabs Skurge, and the two of them brawl outside the ring. Spin is back on his feet and he grabs SYB and pulls him aside. SYB tells Spin to hold Tytan and he will blast him with the bat. Spin pulls him up and holds him, and Spin winds up and brings the bat down, and completely misses Tytan (figures) who moves out of the way, and CRACKS the bat on Spin’s skull! Spin slumps to the mat and Tytan grabs SYB by the throat and CHOKESLAMS him to hell! Just as SYB hits the mat, the bell rings, the time limit has expired!
WINNER in 20:00 – Tytan
After the bell, Tytan leaves the ring and catches Skurge with a clothesline o the back of the head, and rolls him into the ring. Team TeAM stand victorious and head up the ramp to the back. Meanwhile back in the ring, Skurge helps SYB to his feet, and they are about to leave the ring when a bloody Spin Hansen gets to his feet and grabs SYB and spins him around and yells at him, wanting to know what the hell he was doing. Without warning, SYB and Skurge attack Spin, beating him to the mat. The beating continues for a few minutes, then the crowd erupts as DH Magnusson runs to the ring with a logging chain, swinging it like a madman. SYB and Skurge beat a hasty retreat as DH dares them to come back into the ring. Magnusson helps Spin to his feet and the two of them stare at one another for a moment while the crowd roars. Finally, the two of them share a handshake and a manly hug, and DH raises Spin’s arm in victory (even though he didn’t win) and the crowd goes insane. They head to the back as the crowd chants SONS, SONS, SONS.
MATT FOLZ vs. CHRIS EVANS – OOWF Onslaught Championship Steel Cage Submission MatchChris Evans is announced and he sprints to the ring and climbs right into the cage, a ball full of energy. He runs the ropes and stops the second Folz music starts and motions for him to get to the ring. Folz deliberately slows down and takes his time getting to the ring. As Evans stares daggers at him, Folz slowly takes off the Onslaught Championship and holds it up taunting Evans. Evans shoves the referee aside and charges out of the ring and meets Folz half way up the aisle and they start trading haymakers. Folz grabs the back of Evans head and slams him in the face with a head butt that staggers Evans, Folz charges, but Evans connects with a knee to the face that rocks the champion, Evans turns and tries a Pele kick, but Folz moves out of the way and Evans ankle crashes right on the guard rail. Evans is on the floor grabbing his ankle, and evidently in tremendous pain, Folz kicks him in the mouth, then pulls him to his feet and runs him face first into the cage. Folz keeps his face there and rakes it back and forth drawing screams of pain from Evans, and opening a gash on his forehead that has blood spewing. This match isn’t even official yet. Finally Folz rolls Evans into the cage and climbs in after him, the referee closes the door and NOW we officially start the match. Folz stomps Evans injured ankle repeatedly, then drags him over to the ropes and puts Evans foot on the bottom rope and leaps into the air and comes crashing down on it. Evans grabs his ankle in pain and the referee asks him if he wants to quit, but Evans refuses. Folz reaches down for the ankle again, and when he does, Evans grabs him in a GUILLOTINE CHOKE! Folz is in trouble! Folz struggles but Evans just cinches it in tighter. Folz is fading, but just before he loses consciousness he reaches out and grabs the bottom rope and forces the break, that is his first rope break. Evans slowly gets to his feet and tests his ankle a bit, then pulls Folz up and sends him into the cage face first, as Folz staggers off the cage, Evans leaps on him and tries to take him to the mat with a fujiwara arm bar, but Folz holds on and steadies himself, then pulls Evans up and SLAMS him to the mat! Evans releases the hold, and Folz immediately tries for the ankle lock, but Evans manages to get to his feet and catch Folz with an enzuguiri, sending him to the mat. The match continues for several long bloody minutes, as we approach the 30 minute mark, both men are bloody and battered, Folz is out of rope breaks, Evans has one remaining. Folz tries a torture rack back breaker, but Evans slips off his shoulders and lands behind him, and immediately limps on his hurt ankle. Evans spins Folz around and sets him up for the CANADIAN CRASH, but Evans’ ankle twists and both men fall to the mat before he can finish the move. Folz grabs Evans ankle and locks him in the ANKLE LOCK with the full body scissors! Folz has spent the whole match targeting the ankle, how much can Evans take? The camera gets a close up on the horribly bloody face of Evans, and he looks like he is fighting with all he has just to remain conscious. He slowly drags himself to the ropes, inch by inch, while Folz continues to put pressure on his ankle. Finally, after an eternity, Evans reaches the bottom rope and Folz releases it. As soon as Folz releases the hold, Evans slumps to the mat, the referee checks on him, but he is out cold! The ref immediately waives off the match declaring Matt Folz the winner!
WINNER in 32:47 – Matt Folz
THE CHICKENSHIT HEROES vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match Phantos and Lucios make their way to the ring first, to a very positive fan reaction. They shake some hands and kiss some babies around ringside before climbing into the ring to await their opponents. The crowd's excitement increases, and the cheering redoubles, as the OOWF Tag Team Champions, The Chickenshit Heroes, step onto the stage. Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster take a minute to soak up the cheers, and actually seem to be enjoying it. They walk the aisle and climb into the ring, and P&L powder out to allow them to pose for the fans. The CSH hand the belts over to referee Angelo Barros, and P&L return to the ring. Barros gives both teams their instructions and displays the belts to the crowd as the CSH and P&L – shake hands?!? The bell rings, and this one is under way.
Johnny and Phantos start out. Lockup, and Johnny grabs a headlock. Phantos shoots him off. Phantos drops down, then leapfrogs. Dropkick slapped aside by Johnny. Phantos to his feet and Johnny hits an arm drag, holding on into an arm bar. Phantos works to his feet, and Johnny adds another rotation and drives him back to the mat. Phantos back to his feet, rolls through to free the arm, and takes Johnny over with an arm drag, following up with an echoing kick to the back. Phantos to the ropes and hits a dropkick to the face. He covers. AA starts into the ring, but Johnny kicks out at two.
Phantos sends Johnny to the ropes. He ducks his head too early and Johnny rocks him with a knee lift. Johnny grabs the arm and drags him to the corner. Tag to AA. AA with a shot to the ribs, then takes Phantos over with a suplex. AA to the second turnbuckle. Fist drop. AA covers, but only gets one. AA with a headlock. Phantos struggles to his feet. AA changes his grip for a DDT, but Phantos blocks. Phantos with a shot to the stomach. A second one, and AA staggers. Phantos hits a northern lights suplex into a bridge and gets a two count.
Phantos is up and heads for his corner, but AA hooks his leg. AA to his feet, still holding the leg. Phantos with an enzugiri attempt, but AA ducks. Phantos lands and hits a mule kick, catching AA in the mouth. Phantos lunges and makes the tag. AA to his feet, just in time to be clotheslined out of his boots by Lucios. Johnny starts into the ring, but ducks out to avoid being steamrolled. Body slam for AA. Johnny in, and gets body slammed as well. Lucios turns around, and an eye rake from AA puts an end to his offense. The CSH send Lucios to the ropes and elevate him with a double backdrop. Lucios lands hard, and the CSH drive twin elbows into his sternum. Barros chases Johnny from the ring.
AA lines Lucios up. Running neck breaker. AA with a European uppercut, then backs him into the corner. Irish whip reversed. AA drops to the mat to avoid a clothesline, and rolls Lucios up from behind. He starts to put his feet on the ropes but changes his mind, and Lucios kicks out at two. AA rolls him over, grabs his leg, and slams his knee into the canvas. He kicks at the knee, then uses a spinning toehold on the big man. AA releases it and drags Lucios out of the corner, signaling for the figure four. Lucios rolls him up mid-move for a long two-count.
Both men up, and Lucios hits a chop. AA responds in kind. Back and forth, and Lucios' size gives him the advantage. He backs AA into the corner and drives an elbow into his forehead. Irish whip and a dropkick from the big man. Lucios drags AA to his feet and takes him over with a suplex, then sends him to the corner. Tag to Phantos, who climbs the ropes. Lucios lifts AA onto his shoulders for the dropkick device, but AA flails his arms and throws him off balance – Victory Roll! Lucios almost immediately kicks out, but AA is free and dives to his corner and makes the tag.
Johnny and Phantos meet in the middle of the ring and exchange forearms and chops. Johnny takes control, but Phantos blocks some shots and takes over. Phantos stops in mid-swing and points to the crowd. A elderly fan in the front row is clutching his heart. Both Phantos and Johnny leave the ring to check on him. Johnny gets there first – Red mist to the face! The fan grabs Phantos and slams his face into the railing. The fan's wig falls off – it's L.D Williams! Lucios heads around the ring to help his partner – and gets brained by a barbed wire baseball bat from out of the crowd. Moosehead Jack climbs the railing as AA rounds the ring. AA levels Moose with a clothesline and puts the boots to him until Williams clobbers him from behind. Phantos comes after Williams, but Moose manages to grab his bat and put an end to that. kz stuff Phantos and AA into the ring. With Johnny writhing on the floor trying to claw out his eyes and Lucios lying in a rapidly expanding pool of blood, Barros makes the obvious decision and calls for the bell.
WINNER - NO CONTEST in 17:26.
After the match: kz plant AA with a tandem slingshot suplex. They send Phantos to the ropes propel him into the air, dropping him throat-first on the top rope. Lucios drags himself to the ring and tries to pull himself up, but Williams stops that with a baseball slide dropkick. Williams holds AA up -Busaiku Knee from Moose! AA topples into the ropes and falls to the floor. Williams grabs Phantos, and Moose goes to the top rope. Williams lifts Phantos for the spike piledriver, but Johnny's in the ring with a chair! He still can't see, but flails wildly with the chair and manages to hold kz off until security floods the ring.
STANK vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchAlexander Darling appears at the top of the ramp, and the OOWF marks are now familiar with his lack of music. In fact, while it's not completely silent, the crowd noise dies down a bit as they follow him down the ramp. He strikes the familiar eyes down pose and rolls into the ring without expression. Stank's music fires up and even though confused by his recent alliances, he still has the crowd on his side. Stank lumbers up the steps, hands off his championship belt to Junior Hale. Hale calls for the bell. Darling hesitates for a bit, and Stank gets the easy and early upper hand, applying his patented big man offense. He hammer Darling with rights driving him back into the corner. He steps off before the referee can count, but as soon as Darling takes one step out, Stank is back on him, getting him into a scoop slam. Stank follows up with a couple of heavy right stomps, that roll Darling toward the ropes. Darling sees the opportunity and rolls out, catching his breath and trying to remember his name. Hale starts his count, but Darling rolls back in at about two. He seems a bit unsteady on his feet, but his eyes are clear and focused. Stank smiles and he and Darling lock up. Stank wins, pushing Darling backward. But Darling rolls through, and leaps out of the roll into a beautiful dropkick that sends Stank backward into the ropes. He follows up with a running clothesline and now it's Stank's turn to be out of the ring onto the floor. Darling smiles and for a second we see a glimpse of the old Alexander Darling. He goes to the outside of the ropes and cannonball into Stank, and they both land hard on the floor. They struggle to their feet, and Darling tries to whip Stank toward the stairs, but Stank reverses and Darling hits the ring post instead. Stank tosses Darling into the ring and then follows.
Darling is on all fours, and Stank kicks him in the ribs that are probably still sore from last week. Darling stands, grabbing his ribs, and Stank grabs him for a very very very delayed vertical suplex. Darling falls to the mat with a thud that echos through the rafters. He's out of it, and Stank makes a pin. Darling miraculously gets a shoulder up at two. If JR were calling this, he'd say he got the shoulder up on pure instinct. Stank grabs Darling by the hair and helps him up. He wraps his arm under his shoulder and power slams him back down to the mat. Another pin and Alexander gets his shoulder up again. Stank is getting frustrated and tries to explain to Hale the finer points of timing. Alexander rolls partly away but Stank is on him and tries to get him locked into the Southern Comfort. Darling flails his arms a bit and then a strange calm comes over him. Maybe all that meditation is paying off. He lands a well-placed elbow to Stank's ribs, which loosens his grip enough to let Darling get his feet on the ground. He hits a third elbow and must hit it just right, as Stank pushes Darling away and grabs his side.
Darling takes a moment to recover and sees Stank turn, favoring his ribs. He flies to the ropes and bounces off with a shoulder block to the ribs. Stank staggers back, still holding the ribs, and Darling follows up with some well placed high roundhouse kicks, followed by a spinning back kick, square in the solar plexus. Stank doubles over, and Darling bounces off the second rope and bulldogs Stank to the mat, face first. He goes to the corner, and hits a split leg moonsault. He makes a pin in one, two....Stank kicks out right after two. Darling helps Stank up and gets him set up for the Darling Driver, but Stank pushes him off onto his back. Stank runs the ropes (if you can call it 'running') and jumps to hit the Stankonia 2.0, except when he lands, nobody is home. Stanks lands right on his ass, and Darling comes at him with a Shining Wizard that lays the big man out. Darling goes up top in the corner, looks around, appears to say a prayer and ... takes too long because Stank moves. Darling climbs down, and he rains punches down onto Stank. Stank picks him up and runs him back-first into the corner. Darling crumples, and Stank backs up. Darling staggers out of the corner, and Stank runs at him for a clothesline, but Darling dodges at the last minute and Stank goes sailing out to the floor. Darling looks as Stank recovers, and goes back to the top turnbuckle. He waits. and leaps.....Holy cow, Dark Darling Rising! He nails it! Stank is down, Darling is down. The referee starts the count. One......two........both men are still down........four........five......Darling is stirring...........seven........Darling is up and staggers toward the ring, and Stank is just starting to move.......nine........Darling rolls in the ring, and Junior Hale counts ten.
WINNER – by count out in 19:03 - Alexander Darling
POE vs. DH MAGNUSSON – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchDH Magnusson comes to the ring, with Spin Hansen in tow. They bump knuckles and Spin takes his spot in the corner while Magnusson climbs into the ring. Poe’s music plays and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion comes out to the top of the ramp with Selena by his side and Alexis Darling in tow. They make their way to the ring and Poe orders Samantha Darling to sit at ringside and not move a bit. She sits, but is clearly not happy about it. Poe holds the ropes for Selena and she climbs between the ropes and skips around the ring holding the OOWF World Heavyweight Title, making sure to stop in front of Magnusson and give him a good look. Mags looks amused at it all. The referee takes the title and holds it high in the air, then calls for the bell. Poe slowly moves to the center of the ring, and DH Magnusson joins him and the two of them go nose to nose. The stare down reaches creepy levels before the referee yells at them to do something, anything. So they slowly start circling one another, still neither of them break the staredown. Finally they lock up and Magnusson shoves Poe to the corner, the referee calls for a clean break, DH takes his time with it, but eventually gives it and backs to the middle of the ring and motions for Poe to come out of the corner and fight. You don’t have to ask Poe twice, he charges out of the corner at Mags and Mags takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold, then pops back to his feet and repeatedly drops an elbow across the small of his back. DH gets to his feet and hits the ropes and drops a knee across the back of Poe’s head, hooks the arm and rolls him over and covers, but Poe kicks out at two. Magnusson pulls Poe to his feet and hooks him and lifts him for a suplex, then turns and DRIVES him to the mat with a jackhammer! Magnusson covers again, but Poe kicks out, then rolls out of the ring. Poe stands on the outside and glares at Magnusson, Magnusson just steps back and drops to one knee and motions for Poe to come back into the ring.
Clearly the mind games are not working. Poe climbs back into the ring and offers up a test of strength. Magnusson locks up, and immediately Poe tries to reverse it into a whip to the ropes, but DH reverses it and sends Poe into the corner, then follows him with a big clothesline, then tries to bulldog him out of the corner, but Poe shoves him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a boot to the jaw. Poe looks like his is covering Magnusson, but he is really choking him squeezing his throat with one hand. The referee starts the three count, but sees the choke and immediately starts the five count on Poe. Poe breaks just before the disqualification and Poe pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a powerslam and another cover, this time a legit one, and gets a two count. Poe snarls at the referee and pulls Magnusson to a sitting position and tries to twist his head off his shoulders. Poe twists his head as far as it will go, then repeatedly drops elbows down on the side of his head. Finally Poe pulls Magnusson up and drops him across his knee in a pendulum backbreaker and keeps him there, trying to snap him in half across his knee, snarling the whole time. Finally Poe shoves him to the mat, and covers, but Magnusson kicks out at two.
Poe slowly pulls Magnusson to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him by the throat and lifts him up into a sit out power bomb! He covers again, but once again, Magnusson kicks out at two. Poe snarls at the referee and pulls DH to his feet and throws him to over the top rope, but Magnusson pulls a Mick Foley and gets his head tangled in the ropes! Magnusson struggles for breath as the referee and Spin Hansen try to free him, Poe stands in the middle of the ring laughing at his plight, then charges in and KICKS DH in the face! The referee turns around to admonish Poe while Spin finally frees DH. Magnusson falls to the mat and Spin tries to check on him, but Poe charges in and kicks at Spin, then pulls DH to his feet, lifts him for a suplex, then sets him on the top rope and climbs up after him. Poe takes his time and is very deliberate, Magnusson looks to be out on his feet. Poe hooks him, but DH NAILS Poe with an uppercut to the Egyptian jewels, and shoves him off the top rope! Magnusson stands on the top rope and leaps and hits a FLYING ELBOW from the top rope! The crowd erupts as Magnusson covers, and counts along, ONE! TWO! THRE! NO! Poe rolls his shoulder and Magnusson sits on the mat stunned!
Magnusson pulls Poe to his feet and lifts him onto his shoulders, then hits the GO TO SLEEP! The move snaps Poe’s head back and he stands there stunned, Magnusson bounds off the ropes and KILLS Poe with a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Magnusson covers, hooking the leg hard, this MUST be it! ONE, TWO, THRE……NO! Again, Poe rolls his shoulder at the last possible second. DH shows some frustration and pulls Poe to his feet again and sets him up and tries a PILEDRIVER, but Poe backdrops out of it, and falls to the mat. Magnusson gets to his feet behind Poe and runs the ropes and charges at Poe, but Poe jumps to his feet and catches DH and hot shots him on the ropes! DH’s head snaps back and he grabs his throat and staggers around the ring, Poe charges and hits the HIEROGLYPH! Poe stands over Magnusson for a moment, then falls on him for the pin, one, two, thre……NO! Magnusson rolls his shoulder! Poe looks at him in disbelief, then snarls and grabs his head and HAMMERS him with rapid fire shots to the head, right where DH had been busted open on the guard rail a few weeks ago. After several hard shots, DH is busted open. The referee pulls Poe off of him and threatens disqualification, Poe threatens the referee, then sees DH dragging himself to the corner, and a sadistic smile spreads across his face.
Poe runs to the corner and face washes Magnusson, opening the cut a little more, more blood runs down Magnusson’s face and Poe smiles sadistically. He pulls Magnusson out of the corner and hooks him for a suplex, lifts him, springboards him off the top rope, then SLAMS him to the mat with a HELLEVATOR! Magnusson is dead. Poe covers, hooking the leg, but once again, somehow, DH kicks out at two. Spin starts slamming the mat on the outside and the fans clap and stomp along trying to motivate Magnusson. Poe slowly pulls DH to his feet and catches him with several rights to the face, Magnusson blocks the third one and catches Poe with several of his own, backing Poe against the ropes. Magnusson tries a whip, but Poe reverses it. The champ lowers his head a moment too soon, and DH side steps and hits the DREAM STREET! Magnusson has Poe trapped in the middle of the ring! The champ is in trouble! Poe desperately reaches for the ropes but he is nowhere near the ropes. On the outside Selena looks horrified and Alexis has a smirk on her face. Poe struggles and slowly scoots close enough to the ropes to just barely get a toe on it. The referee starts the five count and Magnusson breaks the hold at four, just avoiding a disqualification. Poe slumps to the mat, fighting to stay conscious and Magnusson pulls him to the middle of the ring and covers again, but Poe rolls his shoulder just before the three count.
Magnusson struggles to his feet, he has to be getting a little weak from blood loss. He pulls Poe, who is still dazed to his feet and grabs him for the DREAM STREET again! But this time, Poe fights it and holds his ground, he is able to reverse the move into the CRUCIFIXION! Poe hooks the leg hard, and this time, Magnusson can’t roll his shoulder in time, and Poe gets the blood soaked win.
WINNER in 33:41 – Poe
After the match, Poe gets to his feet and stands over Magnusson. Poe looks to the outside of the ring and tells Alexis to bring him a chair. Alexis hesitates and Poe snaps at her, so she does as she’s told. Spin runs into the ring, but Poe turns and BLASTS him with a chair! Poe stands over Magnusson and looks like he is going to drive the chair into his throat when Ecosystem sprints to the ring and spins Poe around, Poe swings the chair at Eco, but Eco ducks it and catches Poe with a spinning heel kick that sends him staggering backward, and through the ropes to the floor. Poe is enraged on the outside and starts to get back into the ring, but Spin and Magnusson are also back on their feet. Poe snarls and grabs his title and heads up the ramp with Selena and Alexis.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the Hell On Earth V PPV. Live! September 27th from Dayton, Ohio! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! September 23rd from Miami, Ohio!
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com
Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
