OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom 7
Live! From the Benedictine Monastery, Covington, Louisiana
Russ: Hi everyone and WELCOME to the Benedictine Monastery in Covington, Louisiana! Alongside Razz, I am Russ and it's our pleasure to bring to you the longest running Pay-Per-View in OOWF History...Doomy Doomy Doom Doom 7!
Razz: Great to be here Russ and the audience who dropped the coin to watch us tonight are in for one hell of a show. To those of you watching on streams, go fuck yourself.
Nash: Amen. Take money out of MY pocket? I don't think so.
Russ: That, of course, is former WWE, WCW and TNA Superstar, "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash. How do you like retirement so far, Kevin?
Nash: It sucks ass, Russ. Thanks for asking. I mean, they can't make me a valet? An authority figure? Something? I'm still one of the best talkers in the business. Kevin Nash don't work for free any more - but you all have my number. If GM the Rick is listening...I work cheap.
Russ: Thanks for that Kevin, it's a pleasure to have you here tonight.
Nash: Fuck off, Russ.
Russ: Everyone's in fine form tonight...let's get to the action! Our first match tonight is a tag match that features 2 members of the former Sanctum...
Lou: Sanctum
Russ: Versus 2 members of the former E-DEVILED EGGS. Your thoughts, gentlemen?
Razz: Should be a good one!
Nash: What he said.
Russ: You don't get that type of insightful commentary anywhere else, folks! Let's go to the ring for the announcements!
RAVENNA BLUE & CONCRETE TG vs. BRYCE LARSON & TYLER VANGARDEEveryone makes their way to the ring and Larson and Ravenna are going to start things off. They lock up and Larson breaks the lock up and lands several stiff kicks to the back of Ravenna's knee, dropping her to one knee. Larson grabs her head and PLANTS her on the mat with a short DDT, rolls her over, but only gets a one count. He pulls her up and sends her to the ropes and Larson tries a clothesline, but Ravenna ducks it and baseball slides out of the ring while tagging Crete. As Larson turns around, Crete springs off the top rope and NAILS Larson with a lariat clothesline, turning him inside out. Crete covers, but Tyler comes in and breaks it up at two with a kick to the back of Crete's head. Tyler pulls Crete to his feet, hammerlocks his arm and sends him neck and shoulder first into the ring post, drawing a warning from the referee. Tyler laughs it off and heads back to the apron, while Larson gets to his feet and tags him in.
Tyler comes in and immediately drops several knees across the side of Crete's head, then pulls him up, lifts him for a suplex, and DRIVES him to the mat with a BRAINBUSTER! Ravenna looks concerned on the apron as Crete does not move. Tyler covers, but Crete manages to roll his shoulder at two. Tyler pulls Crete to his feet and LAUNCHES him over the top rope to the floor, then follows him out and locks him in the MANIFESTO! Tyler seems content with getting counted out, but Larson races around the ring and pulls him off of Crete and rolls them both into the ring. Tyler looks at Larson on the outside in protest, which allows Crete to make the tag to Ravenna. Ravenna charges in and rolls Tyler up, but as she sits up high on the roll up, Larson slips into the ring and NAILS her in the face with a spinning front kick, allowing Tyler to reverse the roll up, grab a hand full of tights and get the one, two, THREE!
YOUR WINNERS by PINFALL in 9:11...Bryce Larson & Tyler Vangarde!
Russ: That dirty, no good Larson has really been in a foul mood since E-DEVILED EGGS dissolved. But there's no excuse for cheating! And certainly no excuse for Vangarde grabbing the tights!
Razz: I dunno, Russ. Sometimes there is an excuse.
Nash: Like when you do it to win.
Razz: Exactly. I've pulled a few tights in my day.
Nash: And I've pulled a few hamstrings.
Russ: Clever, Kevin! This next match features a Grand Slam Champion, a former World Champion, and two rookies who have looked very impressive to this point.
Razz: I'm going to have to go with O'Mac and Moore here. Sparxx is coming off a loss to Moore, and Davin's been, well, not really here.
Nash: That Moreland's a hell of a wrestler. I'm not betting against him. You just hate him because he's 3 feet taller than you, Razz.
Razz: Tall enough to suplex your ass all over the Monastery.
Russ: All right gentlemen, let's get to the next match!
DAVIN MORELAND & JP SPARXX vs. ERIC O'MAC & SEAN MOOREDavin, Sparxx and Jewel come to the ring, Davin seems to be...here, tonight. They go over some last minute instructions in the corner while Eric and Sean come out. They technically come out together, but Eric seems completely disinterested in this match and rolls his eyes at the prospect of a tag match. Perhaps he should not have tried to call out the booker? The four men are in the ring, Sparxx and Moore are about to start when familiar music plays and...IT’S THE FOUR NORSEMEN!
Russ: BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! It's the FOUR NORSEMEN! They're here!
Nash: So?Strebor Nhoj, Ressued Samoht, Nairb Nav Enytsla and Ydna Notsag storm the ring and attack all four men! The Norsemen actually get some offense in and send Sparxx, Moreland, O'Mac and Moore to the floor where the four of them regroup. They talk among themselves for a moment, then climb back into the ring, Eric says something to the referee and he calls for the bell starting...
DAVIN MORELAND, J-P SPARXX, ERIC O'MAC & SEAN MOORE vs. THE FOUR NORSEMENNairb Nav Entysla charges at Davin and tries a clothesline, but Davin ducks it and shoves him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin tags in Sparxx, Sparxx pulls Nairb up and KILLS him with the GEM DROP! Next in, Sean Moore. He pulls Nairb to the middle of the ring and climbs the ropes, but tags in Eric as he goes. Moore steadies himself and hits the HILL OF TARA he rolls off of Nairb and Eric lands the E-MAC ATTACK! Eric hooks a dead Nairb's leg while the rest of the team beats the snot out of the remaining Norsemen and gets the one, two, THREE!
YOUR WINNERS by PINFALL in 1:55...Davin Moreland, J-P Sparxx, Eric O'Mac and Sean Moore!
The crowd roars their approval as the beating continues. Out of the crowd comes TNA's Matt Morgan! He and Davin work over Ressued Samoht, eventually Davin whips Samhot to Morgan, who kills him with a Carbon Footprint! He stumbles backward right into a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Morgan pulls Samoht's lifeless corpse to his feet, and delivers a HELLAVATOR! The camera cuts to the back, where we see Moosehead Jack and Stank watching on a monitor.
MHJ: Ok...so now there are three Davins?
Stank: What?
MHJ: Tell me you don't see three Davins right now.
Stank: Let's check in with the trainer before we head out there, ok?[/b]
Back ringside, Eric has just killed Ydna Notsag with a ROCK BOTTOM! Sparxx has Nairb Nav Enytsla tied up in the RIVER DAWG, and Nairb is tapping furiously. Strebor Nhoj gets destroyed by Moore with another HILL of TARA before finishing him off with...a heartpunch? Strebor sells that like a champ. Finally, Moreland, Sparxx, O'Mac and Moore all head to the back, leaving the bloody and battered corpses of The Four Norsemen for the medical personnel to deal with.
Russ: Well, The Four Norsemen tried to make a name for themselves again here in OOWF, and the OOWF wrestlers handled them easily. And Matt Morgan even joined in! Do you think we can call them Team OOWF now? All of them, working together to restore the dignity and honor to our company?
Razz: Are you high, Russ?
Nash: Did you know when you talk, your face doesn't move?
Russ: That was a mean thing to say, Kevin! And speaking of mean, this next match is sure to be on hell of a slobberknocker. Two teams that have squared off a whole bunch of late, Moosehead Jack and Stank vs. Drink & Destroy. They've been bloody battles and no one has a clear advantage. But I have to think the team with two solid citizens, Drink & Destroy, should be the favorites here.
Razz: I don't know about that, Russ. I'm leaning towards a Double DQ/No Contest, myself.
Nash: I'm gonna go talk to Matt Morgan for a bit. I just bought these clothes, and I don't want to get blood on them.
Russ: To the ring we go, for the particulars! MOOSEHEAD JACK & STANK vs. DRINK & DESTROY[/b]
Drink and Destroy are out first and get cheered loudly. Moose and Stank are out next and get their typical boos from the crowd. The two teams eye one another warily. Stank remains in the ring and Moose heads to the apron. For Drink and Destroy, Jack starts into the ring, but Taylor grabs him by the shoulder and tags in. Taylor steps into the ring and he and Stank go nose to nose. The bell rings, and this match is underway!
Stank pie faces Taylor, then grabs a side head lock. Taylor sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big boot on the rebound. Taylor grabs Stank and tries to lift him for a slam, but Stank blocks it and drops Taylor to the mat with a double sledge to the back of the neck. Stank grabs Taylor's arm and wrings it, then tags in Moose. Moose comes in and climbs to the middle rope and leaps and drives an elbow into the side of Taylor's neck. Moose pulls Taylor to his feet and whips him into the corner and charges after him, but Taylor explodes out of the corner and levels him with a clothesline. Taylor tags in Jack and OBJ charges into the ring and just as Moose is on his knees, he catches Moose with a kick to the jaw, then covers him, but Moose kicks out at two.
Jack pulls Moose up and scoops him up and plants him on the mat, then bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across his chest and covers him again, but Moose kicks out at two again. Jack pulls Moose up and shoves him to the corner then lifts him setting him on the top rope. Jack climbs up for a superplex, but Moose blocks it and fights Jack off with several punches to the face, then sends him falling to the mat with a head butt to the face. Jack falls and hits the mat, Moose stands on the middle rope and tries an elbow drop, but Jack rolls out of the way and Moose slams into the mat. Moose gets to his feet and Jack bounces off the ropes and drives Moose to the mat with a bulldog and covers again, but once again, Moose kicks out. Jack reaches out and tags in Taylor.
Taylor comes in and pulls Moose to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a belly to belly suplex, driving him to the mat. Taylor covers, but Stank comes in and kicks Taylor on the back of the head breaking up the pin. Taylor pulls Moose to his feet, but Moose rakes his eyes, and as Taylor staggers away, Moose NAILS him with a spinning fist to the temple that sends Taylor staggering to the corner. Moose tags Stank in, and he charges into the corner and KILLS Taylor with a clothesline trapping him into the corner. Stank pulls Taylor to the top rope and sets him up for the CRADLE TO THE GRAVE but Taylor fights out of it. Stank climbs the ropes and they fight on the top rope. Stank grabs Taylor and THROWS him off the top rope with a belly to belly, sending Taylor crashing to the mat. Stank gets to his feet, but Taylor is up as well. Stank charges trying for a clothesline, but Taylor ducks and Stank goes over the top rope to the floor, but Moose manages to tag in as Stank is clearing the ropes.
Moose comes in and bounds off the ropes and NAILS Taylor with a knee to the back, then spins him around and PLANTS him with a DDT! Jake Roberts style, Moose sits there for a moment, then rolls Taylor over and covers, but Jack comes in and breaks it up. Moose chases Jack out of the ring, which allows Taylor to get to his feet. When Moose turns back around, Taylor charges in and catches Moose with a BUISAKU KNEE! HE USED MOOSE'S MOVE! Taylor tags in Jack and they quickly set up and hit the CALL OF THE WILD! Jack covers Moose and gets the one, two, THREE!
YOUR WINNERS by PINFALL in 15:58...Drink & Destroy!
Russ: Well how about THAT folks? Not only was it a clean match with no blood that entertained the crowd...but I was RIGHT!
Razz: Broken clock, Russ.
Nash: *just getting back to the announce table * What'd I miss?
Russ: You just missed a terrific match!
Nash: No blood? No care. There's enough TV-PG in the world.
Russ: Next up, we've got the finals of our OOWF Tag Team Invitational, where the winners become the number one contenders. Interesting how this one shook out. A team that had barely tagged before, before the tournament, and a rookie team that just got here a few months ago. Fulton and Folz certainly have the power advantage.
Nash: And the SIZE advantage. You know what I'm sayin'?
Razz: No doubt about that, Kev. And the Hawaiians are a high-flying team that have tagged all over the world.
Nash: Should be a good one!
Razz: That's my line, brah.
Nash: I see what you did there.
Russ: Let's get started!
STAN "CRUSHER" FULTON & MATT FOLZ vs. THE FLYIN' HAWAIIANS - OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament FinalsThe Flyin' Hawaiians, Kai and Aina are led to the ring by Noelani. This rookie (to the OOWF) team has made quite an impression making it all the way to the finals of the OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament. They wait in the corner while Noelani gives them some last minute instructions. As they wait, Fulton and Folz make their way to the ring and draw a loud ovation from the crowd. Fulton and Folz step into the ring and Kai and Aina meet them in the middle of the ring. There is a tense stare down for a moment, then they all bump knuckles and head to their corners. Kai and Folz are going to start things out, the referee rings the bell and we are ready to go!
Kai and Folz lock up and Folz immediately goes behind Kai and takes him to the mat with a waist lock. Folz grabs a side head lock, but Kai fights to his feet and sends Folz to the ropes, but Folz reverses it. Folz lowers his head and Kai leap frogs him and catches him with a drop kick to the jaw on the rebound. Folz gets to his feet quickly and Kai scoops him up and drops him across his knee with a back breaker then drops him to the mat and covers for a two count. Folz gets to his feet and rocks Kai with a European uppercut as he gets to his feet, then throws him into the Fulton/Folz corner and tags in Fulton.
Crusher comes in and catches Kai with an elbow to the jaw, then sends him to the ropes, Kai tries a cross body block, but Fulton catches him. Aina comes into the ring and bounds off the ropes and nails Fulton with a flying headbutt that sends him to the mat with Kai on top. Kai gets a two count but Fulton kicks out. Kai gets to his feet and leaps toward his corner and makes the tag to Aina. Aina waits on the apron for Fulton to get to his feet, as he does, Aina springs off the top rope and takes Fulton to the mat with a flying shoulder block. Aina covers, but Fulton kicks out at one.
Fulton gets to his feet and staggers back into the corner and Aina gets to his feet and charges in and tries a splash, but Fulton swats him to the mat. Fulton pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes, catches him on his shoulders and PLANTS him with a Samoan drop! Fulton gets to his feet and pulls Aina up and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound in a BEAR HUG! Aina howls in pain and tries to fight out of it. He claps his hands on the sides of Fulton's head, but Fulton doesn't budge. Finally Aina remembers he is Hawaiian, which is sort of like Samoan and BLASTS Fulton between the eyes with a headbutt. The big man releases the hold and just stands there. Aina backs off a step, and Fulton falls face first to the mat. Aina runs over and tags in Kai, Kai grabs Fulton and they hit the BROKEN PALM! Aina covers, but Folz runs in and breaks it up at two.
Aina pulls Fulton to his feet and sends him to the ropes but lowers his head a moment too soon and Fulton catches him with a kick, then sends him into the corner and catches him with an AVALANCHE! Fulton tags in Folz and Folz rocks Aina with several European uppercuts, then sends him to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Aina ducks it on the rebound, Aina tries a cross body and Folz catches him and reverses it into a belly to belly suplex, and with Aina planted on the mat, Folz grabs his leg and grapevines it and traps him in the ANKLE LOCK! Kai tries to save his partner, but Fulton cuts him off. Aina fights it, but Folz has him in the center of the ring, finally, he has to tap or suffer a broken ankle!
YOUR WINNERS by SUBMISSION in 25:08...and WINNERS of the 2010 OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament...Matt Folz & Stan Fulton!
Russ: What a match! My Goodness! I could watch these two teams for hours! And what a story with Fulton and Folz!
Nash: Cinderella story...out of nowhere...
Razz: Caddyshack?
Nash: IT'S IN THE HOLE!
Razz: That's what she said!
Nash: I should jackknife you for that; but it actually wasn't bad.
Razz: That's why they pay me the big bucks, Kev.
Nash: Asshole.
Russ: Ok! Next up is our OOWF Tag Team Championship match, pitting 2 friends in Magnusson and Darling; and perhaps the most experienced tag team in the company, Texpress. This should be a real barnburner!
Razz: I'm gonna have to go with Texpress here. Chad and Zane just work so well together.
Nash: They're "The Measuring Stick" for a reason.
Razz: That's what she said!
Nash: Ok, that one? Sucked.
Russ: These two think they're Division Killers, and they've got another opportunity tonight to prove it to everyone. Time for the entrances!
TEXPRESS vs. DH MAGNUSSON & ALEXIS DARLING - OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchThe surprising team of DH Magnusson and Alexis Darling make their way to the ring first and get a nice roar from the crowd. The OOWF World Tag Team Champions Texpress come out next to "God Blessed Texas" and get a huge ovation from the crowd. They get to the ring and there is a nice moment of sportsmanship as all four exchange handshakes. Texpress hand the titles off to the referee and we are ready to go.
Zane and Magnusson start off, they lock up and DH grabs a side head lock, and Zane sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a FRANKENSTEINER! DH looks a little surprised by the agility of the big man as he gets to one knee across the ring. He gets up and they lock up again and this time DH backs him into the corner, the referee calls for a clean break and gets it, as Zane comes out of the corner, DH grabs him and arm drags him to the mat, as Zane springs back to his feet, DH catches him with a boot to the side of the head, then sends him to the ropes and grabs him for DREAM STREET, but Zane elbows out of it, and spins away from DH. The two of them look at one another, then reach out and tag in their partners.
Chad and Lexie step into the ring and eye one another and immediately start a criss cross. Lexie falls to the mat and Chad steps over her, as he rebounds off the ropes she tries a hip toss, but Chad flips through it and lands on his feet and runs to the ropes, Lexie tries a clothesline, but Chad slides between her legs. As he gets up and rebounds again, Lexie tries a knee to the gut but Chad leaps over her leg and rolls her up, but Lexie kicks out sending Chad to the ropes. Lexie kips to her feet and matrixes through a clothesline attempt from Chad and catches him by the head on the rebound, runs to the corner and hits SLICED BREAD! Lexie covers, but Chad kicks out at two.
There is a lot of chain wrestling by both teams but neither can maintain an advantage for long. The crowd is solidly down the middle cheering for both teams and booing neither. Both side get several near falls, each one driving the crowd a little closer to insanity. The turning point in the match comes at almost thirty minutes in.
Lexie gets to her feet and pulls Chad up and shoves him into her corner and tags Maggs back into the match. She sends Chad to the ropes and drops him to the mat with a drop toe hold, and DH bounds off the ropes and catches Chad with a drop kick to the face. DH rolls him over and covers, but Chad kicks out at two. Magnusson pulls Chad to his feet and sets him on the top rope and climbs up and hits a SUPERPLEX, then floats over and covers, but only gets two. DH tags in Lexie again and she climbs to the top rope and they try a ROCKET LAUNCHER but Chad gets his knees up and Lexie crashes and burns!
Chad tags in Zane and he grabs Lexie by the hand and pulls her to her feet, right into a SHORT CLOTHESLINE that nearly decapitates her. Zane reaches out and tags Chad back in, and then gets under Lexie and lifts her into the air, Chad climbs to the top rope and they hit the TEXAS DEATH SENTENCE! Chad covers, hooking Lexie hard and gets the one, two, THREE!
YOUR WINNERS by PINFALL in 29:47...and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions...Texpress!
Russ: BAH GAWD WHATAMATCH! In all my years in this business I don't think I've ever seen anything like it!
Razz: Gotta admit, that was some amazing action there; but in the end, The Measuring Stick pulled it out at the end.
Nash: See, THAT is where "That's what she said" goes.
Razz: Fuck off, Nash. Seriously.
Russ: Next up is our Onslaught Championship Match between 2 men who have put on some wrestling clinics of late, with Alexander Darling just falling short. I've got to think this is his night to break through.
Razz: Are you kidding? LD Williams is Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit combined!
Nash: The dogs are in the pool area.
Russ: That's enough! It's time for the match!
LD WILLIAMS vs. ALEXANDER DARLING - OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHIt's a rematch tonight between Grand Slam Champion LD Williams and Former World Heavyweight Champion Alexander Darling - this time for the Onslaught Championship. Their last match was a really good one, and for the Pay-Per-View crowd here in Covington, Louisiana; expect this to be an even better one, as the crowd here makes more noise than this Monastery has heard in quite some time. The Challenger is out first as his music begins to play. He steps out onto the stage with the blue spotlight and he makes his way down the ramp to a boisterous response from the crowd here. Darling does some crowd interaction before sliding in under the bottom rope. He takes a seat on the turnbuckle facing the entrance as "Jekyll & Hyde" fires up over the sound system. The OOWF Onslaught Champion LD Williams makes his way out to a mostly positive response as well. Clearly, as much as he tries to be hated, the crowd can't help but love him.
He stays focused on Alexander on his walk to the ring, but it doesn't seem to affect him as he slowly makes his way down and into the ring. Williams stays focused on Darling, eschewing any fan interaction before climbing into the ring. He finally climbs in, and hands his belt over to Senior Referee Davis Hightower, who holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF Onslaught Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside before calling both men into the center of the ring, for the explanation of the rules. Neither is paying attention, but for whatever reason he has to do it anyway. Hightower calls for a handshake and Darling extends his hand for one. Williams accepts and shakes hands. Unlike last match, there's no drama with the handshake, as both men seem to sense the enormity of the moment. That's good enough for Hightower, who calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Darling and Williams immediately lock up, with Williams quickly grabbing a side headlock. Darling shoves Williams off into the ropes. Williams tries to counter that with a shoulder block, but Darling had the same idea, and they stalemate, ending up looking at each other. They lock up once again and this time it's Darling who works side headlock and he also sweeps the leg trying to drive Williams to the mat, but YOU CAN'T OUT CHAIN WRESTLE LD WILLIAMS, you can only hope to contain him, and he maneuvers his way into a hammerlock on Darling. Darling tries to fight back to his feet and grabs Williams around the waist spinning into a vertical base, before taking Williams down with a snap mare. That's followed by the always awesome "one-guy-sitting-up-other-guy-kicking-him-in-the-back-spot". Both appear to be getting frustrated here, as neither can gain the upper hand. Darling tried to follow up with another kick in the back, but Williams reversed it into a Dragon Screw Leg Whip; immediately trying to capitalize and lock in a stupid Single-Leg Boston Crab. Darling sensed it coming and grabs the closest rope.
Alexander Darling has used rope break #1, he has 2 remaining. Darling slaps the mat in frustration as he very likely could have gotten out of that without using a rope break, according to the replay. Still on tilt, Darling wildly charges at Williams. LD ducks under a clothesline and quickly hits a SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP! Darling kicks out at one. He is PISSED, and rushes Williams again. LD counters with a kick to the stomach, followed up by a small package. Darling again kicks out at one. Darling is competing in complete frustration, as he again rushes Williams, trying for a Running Enziguri. That would have been awesome if it landed. It didn't, and as Darling turns around, he walks right into a snap suplex on Darling. Williams holds on, floats over and locks in a Guillotine Choke Hold. Darling is in BIG trouble as Williams really wrenches back on the hold. Darling fights, struggles, and just does get to the nearest rope in the nick of time.
Alexander Darling has used rope break #2, he has 1 remaining. Darling bundles himself to the outside, with Hightower yelling at him to get back into the ring. Darling screams back "I HAVE UNTIL 20!" Ok, that was kinda funny. Darling appears to be having a hard time focusing and getting back to the game plan; but at 6 looks like he composes himself enough to get back into the ring. Williams gives him the "come on" gesture. Darling smirks and nods and tries to head-fake Williams while charging at him. Wack move there as Williams hits the obvious drop-toe hold and goes right for the end, and an STF. Boy, he gets that locked on in a hurry; but somehow Darling rolls out of it. Williams is caught off guard by this, not easy to do by the way, and then Darling lowers one of his knee pads, and hits a Knee Drop right into the face
Razz: Right in the mush!
Nash: God you're such an idiot sometimes.
Razz: That's what she said!of LD. He pulls the pad back up and then tries to pull Williams up. Williams forces Darling's arms apart and tries to go for an old-school non-wrestling headbutt, but Darling is somehow able to duck it and drive his shoulder into LD, forcing him into the corner. His momentum carries him out from the corner a step or two, right into the waiting arms of Darling, who takes this opportunity to land the friggin' awesome Slingshot Brainbustaaaaaaaaaahh~! Darling covers....1.....2....no. Williams kicks out, but he was stunned and behind on that whole sequence. Darling doesn't let up as he lifts Williams back to his feet and busts out the ol' CHOP-WHOOs forcing Williams gets back to the corner and Darling tries for a Yakuza Kick, but Williams catches the leg coming in and spins out of the corner. Williams hits a lightning quick Belly to Belly Suplex and Darling is in trouble once again. Williams lifts him back to his feet. Williams declares things over as he sets up the Canadian Destroyer but Darling is fights it. Williams blasts a few knees to Alexander's face, probably breaking his nose. Just, percentages, you know? Williams looks to goes for the Canadian Destroyer once again, but Darling lands a Back Body Drop. LD LANDS ON HIS FEET and Chop Blocks Darling! He goes to lock in the STF again, and he has it! Darling is in ridiculous trouble as he tries to get to the rope. Williams is screaming nothing but "TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" Darling is about to tap but gives it one more big push, and does indeed get to the ropes.
Alexander Darling has used rope break #3, he has none remaining.Darling uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet. Williams charges. Darling saw him coming and ducks as Williams goes flying out of the ring. Darling screams "ODELAY" and goes for a Tope Con Hilo on the just starting to stand Williams. IT CONNECTS! Darling screams and the crowd responds! Darling bundles Williams back into the ring. He pulls LD to his feet and puts LD's hand around his own throat. He's going for the Darling Driver! He gets LD up, and LD appears to come to and hangs on desperately to the ropes. Finally Darling loses his grip and Williams lands on his feet. Williams goes for a kick to Darlign stomach, but Darling grabs his foot. ENZIGURI on Darling and he is temporarily stunned. LD takes this opportunity to lock Darling into a TARANTULA HOLD in the ropes! Darling doesn't have any rope breaks left! He holds out as long as he can before telling Hightower he's had enough.
YOUR WINNER by SUBMISSION in 22:57....LD Williams! LD Williams is STILL OOWF Onslaught Champion!
Russ: I swear to you folks, I've never seen action like this before! Just amazing stuff! That move by Williams would have been illegal in a regular match.
Razz: But this wasn't a regular match. No one's got better situational awareness in this company than LD Williams. It was than and his experience that won that match for him. But Darling gave him all he could handle!
Nash: Alexander needs to control his temper and his emotions if he wants to knock off a pro like Williams. Looked like there were some rookie mistakes in that match from him.
Razz: That's what-
Nash: Don't. I mean it. Don't.
Phantos: Aww Man!
Russ: The wrestling clinic being put on tonight should continue with this next match. Two of the best young superstars this business has to offer.
Razz: They go about things in different ways sometimes, but both these guys can flat out bring it. This should be one hell of a match up.
Nash: Workrate is overrated.
Razz: Just because you HAVE no workrate...mainly because you have no work right now...is no reason to take away from these two.
Nash: You and me, Hornswoggle? We're gonna have words later.
Russ: It's time for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship match! Let's head to the ring!CHRIS EVANS vs. THE DEAD - OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/b]
The Dead is out first, with his usual entrance, and the crowd reacts to him. Mostly negative, no surprise there, but there are a few cheers sprinkled in, which is a nice change of pace. Dead climbs into the ring and makes the "me wanty belt" sign to the crowd and to the entrance. "The Trooper" fires up and your Intercontinental Champion, Chris Evans, appears at the top of the ramp, accompanied by Olympic Gold Medalist, Dancing with the Stars Champion, and America's Sweetheart Shawn Johnson. They get a monster ovation as he hold his Intercontinental Championship high over his head for everyone to see before making his way down the ramp. He and Shawn high-five the crowd on the way down, as Dead smirks and shakes his head, presumably to the blatant pandering. Evans and Shawn both climb into the ring for a second (Evans holds the ropes open for her...awww). She's not there long as she heads out to the floor. Evans hands his belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower who holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship. He's about to hand the belt to the outside, when "Like Yeah" fires up and the crowd is pleased to see Davin Moreland at the top of the ramp. He tacitly acknowledges the fans before heading over to the announce table. This apparently wasn't on the run sheet, because a production assistant has to grab a headset from the back and run out with it. Hightower stopped caring about 45 seconds ago, and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Russ: Well, this should be a good one between two quality opponents.
Razz: It should be, Russ. And also welcome to the broadcast table, Grand Slam Champion Davin Moreland.
DM: Thank you Razz.
Russ: Needless to say, we didn't expect you. What brings you out here?
DM: Just doing a little scouting, Russ.
Nash: So these two are your gameplan?
DM: I don't know anything concrete yet, Big Sexy. Like I said. I'm scouting.
Razz: You've scouted these two before like this.
DM: Glad you're paying attention, Razz. And you two aren't giving enough love to Big Sexy here. You two are privileged to have a legend like Kevin Nash sitting at your announce table and you just prattle on about nothing. That's horseshit.
Nash: Thanks Davin. And that's two legends. "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash, and Davin "Bah Gawd" Moreland. You know, we'd be the most unstoppable tag team ever.
DM: I hate tagging. It was just a necessary evil for a while. Looks like this match is about to get going here. Anyone got a pen? I need to take notes.
Russ: Does this have to do with your wager with Alexander Darling?
DM: Stop making that face or it will freeze like that.
Razz: Man...that was wrong...Inside the ring the two men have fought to a stalemate so far. Nothing over-the-top, just some awesome freakin' chain wrestling that we don't see much anymore. Right now it's Evans with the slight advantage, holding a hammerlock on Dead. Dead slaps his shoulder twice as required by law before heaving Evans over his shoulder and locking a strong armbar on as a result. Evans fakes like he's trying to get out of the armbar; but takes the opportunity to sweep Dead's legs out from under him. Evans tries to turn that into a Cross-Arm Breaker, but before he can make it down to the mat, Dead is able work a head scissors. Undeterred, Evans simply drops himself on Dead and puts him in a pinning predicament. 1....2....no. Dead kicks out, and we've got a reset.
Razz: Woah.
DM: I know, right? These two have skills, for sure.
Razz: Mad Skillz! Am I right?
Nash and Davin: No.The two lock up again, and again it's a stalemate. Dead works a headlock, which Evans reverses into an armbar. This time, Dead yanks on that arm, and Evans' momentum takes him right into a Short-Arm Clothesline, which looked pretty devastating. Dead runs to the ropes, and tries for the Springboard Moonsault, but Evans moves out of the way. Dead lands on his feet! Dead tries a drop kick, but Evans catches his feet! He sets up for a Styles Clash, but Dead is able to Hurricarana his way out of that. Dead to the top rope, and he lands a Moonsault! Cover...1...2...no. Evans kicks out relatively easily but Dead goes old school and locks on a Short-arm Scissors.
Russ: There's a move I haven't seen since 1983!
DM: Not bad. You can put that on the list of "shit Alexander Darling can't do."
Razz: BURN!
Nash: I used to like you Razz. I really did. Now I like Russ more than you. And I hate you for that.
Russ: Thanks Kevin!
Nash: Die in a fire.
Evans is able to maneuver and get to the ropes forcing a break. Dead runs at him, trying to keep his advantage, but Evans Drop-Toe Holds him face first into the turnbuckle. Dead stumbles backward before Evans catches him with an Inverted Edge-O-Matic. Evans covers, that gets 2. Evans seems to say to himself 'enough is enough', and locks on a Sharpshooter! Dead's in trouble and Evans has him dragged to the center of the ring. Dead's about to tap before he summons one last burst of energy and literally dives for the ropes. Hightower tries to break the hold, but Evans screams "I HAVE TIL 5!"
DM: Heh.He does finally break the hold, and Evans hits a Basement Dropkick on Dead, sending him out of the ring. Evans hits the far ropes and goes over the near ropes with a TOPE CON HILO, but Dead saw him coming and CLOSES THE CASKET on him in mid-air! That was totally out of self defense, but awesome nonetheless. Evans is out cold, and the camera cuts to Shawn who seems paralyzed with concern. The camera cuts to Davin, who's slowly shaking his head yes and clapping. Dead takes a bit to shake out the cobwebs before bundling the near-lifeless Evans back into the ring. He goes into a cover...1....2...thr...NO! Evans
Russ: SOMEHOW! SOMEWAY!kicked out! Dead can't believe it, but quickly heads to the top. Corkscrew Moonsault CONNECTS! Cover! 1....2....NO! Evans kicks out again! Dead pulls Evans up to his feet, and then beyond, eventually connecting with a BRAINBUSTAAAAAH~! That's GOT to be it! Dead covers...1....2....New Champ! NO! NO! NO! Evans just rolled the shoulders as Hightower's hand was inches from the mat for the third time. Dead is apoplectic and starts slapping the mat in frustration. Dead heads to the top one more time. This time it's a 450 Splash, and he lands it...on Evans' knees!
Razz: That's a good way to break a rib.
Nash: Or blow out a quad.
DM: No, that's just you, Kev.
Nash: Not true. Triple H.
DM: Fair enough.Dead howls in pain as Evans slowly gets to his feet, and he's holding his ribs as well. He limps over to Dead and pulls him up to lock him in. He looks like he's going for a Canadian Destroyer! Evans flips and Dead flips with him, but before Dead can be drilled with the Piledriver part, he flips completely out of the hold, and lands on his feet! Enziguri by Dead sends Evans to the mat. Dead covers...1....2...NO! Dead just smiles this time before pulling Evans up. He goes for a Release German Suplex, but Evans flips out of it. Evans quickly hits a Bridging German Suplex! 1....2....NO! This time it's Evans' turn to be frustrated. Evans kips up, but Dead charges him with a clothesline. Evans ducks, and Dead stops, he turns around and EVANS CLOSES THE CASKET on him! Holy shit! Evans covers, and that's gonna do it.
YOUR WINNER in 29:16 by PINFALL and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion...Chris Evans!
Post-match, Davin takes off the headset, grabs the belt from the timekeeper and slides into the ring, handing it to Evans, who is celebrating with Shawn. He raises Evans' arm and the crowd gives some thunderous applause. Dead starts to come to about now, rubbing his jaw and smirking. He claps in Evans' direction before leaving the ring. Evans stops him and offers him a handshake. Dead accepts (albeit briefly) and claps one more time trying to head to the back. Evans stops him and raises his arm, to the appreciation of the crowd after a hell of a match.
Russ: I don't think that can be topped. That was just phenomenal from beginning to end.
Schiavone: THAT WAS THE GREATEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF RECORDED TIME!
Nash: I like that Schiavone guy. He always put me over great.
Razz: It's not like you could ever get yourself over.
Nash: How's your neck?
Razz: How's your quad? Or should I say, quads?
Russ: How's about this next match? Our World Champion, Firewoman, is locked in a death feud with her arch-enemy Tytan, murderer and king of the evil-doers!
Razz: You've been hanging around Concrete TG again, haven't you?
Russ: No.
Razz: Haven't you?
Russ: No.
Razz: Haven't you?
Russ: Yes.
Nash: Why is your hair so long?
Russ: Time for the match!FIREWOMAN vs. TYTAN - OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/b]
Here we are, it's time for our main event, and this one has it all. Competition, hatred, mind games, virtually anything you can think of. The crowd is still buzzing over that last match, and they're ready and pumped for this one. Tytan, the challenger, is out first, and heads to the ring to a vicious and violent chorus of boos. He has brought his ever-present bloody shovel to the ring, and is actually wearing his Deatheater mask. Clearly, tonight is a big deal for him. He poses in the ring with the shovel before laying it down outside the ring. The lights go down and pyro starts for the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Firewoman. The crowd goes batshit as she hits the ramp. No pandering tonight, she seems focused and ready to go - ignoring the crowd and climbing into the ring. Before handing her belt to Hightower, she makes sure to hold it right in Tytan's face. Tytan just smirks. Finally, the belt is handed to Hightower who holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell; but before it rings, Tytan rushes Fire and clotheslines her to hell. Bell rings. WE'RE UNDERWAY!
As focused as Fire was, she clearly didn't see that coming. She tries to stand, but Tytan grabs her by the hair and tosses her across the ring into the ropes. Fire bounces off and Tytan hits a HUUUUUUUUUGE Back Body Drop. Tytan starts running and hits the ropes, trying for a big elbow drop, but Fire is able to get out of the way, and Tytan yells, holding his elbow. Fire calls a wrestling timeout, rolling out of the ring to presumably collect her thoughts and go through her strategery. Tytan is back to his feet, and appears content to wait for the Champ. Fire appears to be having a conversation with herself, or Eco, or any of the voices in her head that counsel her and understand that talk to her, and it's taking a really long time. Hightower's at 7, just in time for the meeting of the mind to conclude, and Tytan goes to rush Fire as she's climbing on to the apron; but Hightower's not having any of that. Fire just does get back into the ring when Tytan flies at her for real this time, but the Champ hits the ol' LOW BRIDGE, and the big man tumbles to the outside.
Fire one-hops the top turnbuckle, and waits for Tytan to get to his feet before BLASTING him with a Missile Dropkick! Tytan doesn't fall completely over though, held up by the barrier outside. Fire tries to follow up with some punches, but Tytan merely shoves her off which he collects his thoughts. Fire lands awkwardly, and it takes a bit before she gets up. She gets up just in time to see Tytan running full-speed at her. Tytan's clearly tapped into his Ultimo Inc. intelligence for this maneuver. Fire is so surprised that she almost misses the opportunity for the Drop-Toe Hold into the STEEL STEPS, but she doesn't, and Tytan goes in face-first. She's not done, dropping a knee to the back of Tytan's head, still on the STEPS, and then rips off his mask before heading to the top rope. She goes for a Harlem Hangover, and splats on the STEPS, as a now-bloody Tytan gets out of the way.
Now it's Tytan's turn to work Firewoman over, as it seems the blood has rejuvenated him. First, a whip into the STEEL STEPS. Then a sick Powerbomb into the STEEL STEPS. And the cherry on top of the sundae, a sickening Piledriver on the STEEL STEPS that makes the crowd go silent. Tytan, unmoved, bleeds his way over to the Shovel. He raises it high over his head, and the silent crowd gets more silent. He starts to come down with it, but appears to change his mind mid-swing, and instead starts to laugh maniacally. He tosses the shovel to the side, and just continues to laugh and laugh, wasting all sorts of time. Hightower is out of the ring now, using Championship Match Prerogative, and isn't using a count currently. He tries to get Tytan in the ring, but, yeah right. Tytan decides to toss Fire into the ring, and we see SHE is a bloody mess as well.
Tytan stands and puts the boots to Fire, but they don't seem to actually be connecting, indicating that Fire is playing defense and is, in fact, alive. Good news. Tytan's foot comes down again, but this time Fire grabs it with both hands, pushing upward. She pushes Tytan back as she gets to her feet, twists, and forces Tytan to the mat. Using the leverage, Fire decides to drop about eleventy billion elbows right onto Tytan's knee. That's probably not going to help things like walking or standing. Finally, Fire turns it into a Figure 4, and really cinches back on it, screaming, the crowd alive again with "WHOOOOOs". Tytan's in big-time pain, but he is able to flip onto his stomach and reverse the pressure. Fire lets go of the hold, and Tytan tries to lick his wounds, but Fire, moving quickly drags him over to the ringpost, rolls out of the ring, and whips his leg around the ring post. Not just once, or twice, but, you guessed it, approximately eleventy billion times.. Tytan is screaming in pain, but Fire's not done. She goes up top and hits a Warrior's Way right on Tytan's knee. She covers....1....2...thr...NO! Big man kicked out!
Fire kips up, runs the ropes and tries for a basement dropkick, which would have sent Tytan into the ringpost, but Tytan is able to grab her legs and flips her around, locking on a Boston Crab (a real one). Fire is suddenly in huge trouble. However, she is able to use her flexibility advantage, and is able to get her hands behind her head, and wrap them around Tytan's throat. Hightower starts a five count (although it's a REALLY slow one), and Tytan has no choice but to release the hold. Fire crawls to the corner and pulls herself up, just in time to see Tytan rushing at her for a Spear Spear Spear. Fire sees it, and sidesteps as Tytan goes shoulder-first into the ringpost. Schoolboy Rollup from Fire! 1....2...NO! Tytan is able to escape. Fire, still hurting, has to pull herself up again. She rushes at Tytan with what looks like a Running Enziguri attempt, but Tytan, playing a bit of possum, uses her momentum against her, and hits a sickening Power Slam.
Cole: Scoop Slam!
Russ: Die. Seriously.
Razz: I fucking hate you, ColeHe covers, one...two...thr..NO! Firewoman just does kick out. Tytan appears to be done playing around, and lifts Firewoman up over his head for an Atlas Press. Fire shifts her weight and falls behind him, grabbing him around the neck to hit a Neckbreaker on the way down! She gets right back to her feet , hits the ropes and hits a Senton Backsplash, and follows that up with about 20 kicks to the knee she's been working on. Fire turns Tytan over, locks his feet in, grabs his arms....and....Motherfucking Firestomp! That HAS to be it. Fire covers, one...two....thre...NO! NO! NO! Tytan just does get his shoulder up!
Fire can't believe it, but hopefully she believes the hand around her throat GOOZLING her. Tytan stands as Fire is forced back further and further across the ring. He flips Fire's arm over his shoulder, and this looks like a Chokeslam, but at the last second he appears to change his mind and locks in a Rear Naked Choke. It's only a matter of time now, as Fire is in the middle of the ring, and there's nothing she can do. Tytan, however, gets impatient, and flips Fire over, locks her in, and hits a Running Powerbomb! That's it folks. Tytan covers....1....2....and he picks her up off the mat. The crowd shits all over that type of heelish behavior. Tytan appears to be holding up Fire by her hair, and that's the only reason she's standing. She sort of twists around facing away from Tytan, and out of fucking nowhere, literally, a PELE KICK, which caught Tytan square on the temple. He drops like a rock. So does Fire, and Hightower has to start a double count.
We're at 7, and Tytan is to his feet. He turns and rushes Firewoman, who was playing some possum of her own. She greets him with a kick to the gut, doubling him over, and hits an Impaler DDT! She covers...one...two...NO!!! Both wrestlers get up slowly, and turn to face each other again. That DDT seemed to have taken a bit more out of Fire, and Tytan is able to get the upper hand this time. He pulls Fire up and lets fly with a Crucifix Powerbomb! Fire flies across the ring, and Tytan quickly covers...one...two...NO! Fire somehow her foot on the rope!! Tytan is enraged and rolls out of the ring, heading right for the Shovel of Death and Destruction. He rolls back in, and again holds the shovel high over his head, clearly aiming for Firewoman's skull. Hightower makes a half-hearted attempt to get the shovel, but, you can't blame him for not getting involved. Suddenly, he appears to change his mind; drops the shovel, and grabs the lifeless Firewoman, slung over his shoulder, and heads to the top rope?
Tytan gets a sick smile on his face, sets Firewoman up, and jumps...and lands a Sick, Sick, Sick Top-Rope Piledriver. The crowd hushes again. Tytan smiles broadly and puts his foot into Fire's chest as Hightower counts.
YOUR WINNER by PINFALL in 29:45...and NEW OOWF World Heavyweight Champion...Tytan!
Post-match, Tytan basks in the boos and cat-calls from the crowd. He's handed the Championship and puts it around his waist. He picks up the shovel yet again, and has a look in his eye like he's going to finish the job. The crowd roars to life, however, as Davin Moreland comes flying down the ramp, followed pretty closely by Moosehead Jack, and not too long after that by Alexander Darling. Looks like they came from 3 different places in the arena. Tytan decides that discretion is the better part of valor (it's a pun, not intended, but it could be intended), and gets the fuck out of Dodge. It probably wasn't necessarily the 3 guys, but the Trusty Rebar, Happy DethBat and Barbed-Wire Sledgehammer (respectively) they were carrying.
Russ: Thank gawd they showed up! The murderer was going to strike again!
Razz: We have a new champ, Russ. And it's Tytan.
Nash: Nice to see them pushing the kids.
Russ: This is a MURDERER we're talking about! Certainly you can't support that!
Nash: Whatever. I've gotta hit the pay window.
Razz: I'll come with you.
Russ: Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF November Pain 3 PPV, Live! From Blue Earth, Minnesota! And don't forget to catch next week's OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Tag Team Invitational! Live November 3rd Live! From Greasy Corner, Arkansas!See something you like? Post it
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