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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 13:42:47 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! Live July 20th From Waywayseecappo, Manitoba Canada!
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match – Hell In The Cell [/u] Niles Anderson vs. Chris Alt
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match [/u] Blackdragon vs. Mikey Styner
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match [/u] FF Capslock & Stank vs. Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match [/u] Thim Reynolds vs. Uncle Entity
Corax, Donovan Viper & The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw & UnderDawg Microplay vs. Hardbody Harris Eric O’Mac vs. Attitude Adjuster 3Piece Set vs. Outback Jack & GatorBait Mark Vander vs. Beast Firechild vs. Seraph SoulDragon & Mercury vs. The Establishment Dr. Murder vs. LD Williams Johnny Adrenaline vs. GimmickMan Mr. Jealous vs. Phil
Card is subject to change, but I really doubt it this week, I will be far, far away.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:11:46 GMT -5
Underdawg is in his locker room taping up his hands. Harper Camby enters the room. Dawg calmly continues wrapping his hands. Harper walks right up next to Dawg. Dawg stops and turns to stare right at Camby.
UD: What do you want boy?
HC: You think you are so slick sticking your nose in our business. Our issue with wCw is none of your business.
UD: My issues with Viper are none of your concern, yet you continue to get involved.
HC: Nevermind about wCw or Viper. It's about time we settled our differences.
UD: What differences?
HC: I challenged you to a straight up fight. One on one. Instead a tag match was set up. Capellean got his one on one chance a while back but not me. I know your not one to bak away from a fight, but facts are facts. You go one on one with men half your size but when I come calling we manage to get into tag matches.
UD: That is for the GM to decide. Whoever's name is on the match list, that is who's ass I kick. Next week 4 names happen to be on the list so four asses will be kicked.
HC: We'll see. You've never faced somebody quite like me. I'm physically your equal, probably your superior. You may have me in experience but I do have one advantage that others before me lacked. I have learned all about your strengths and weaknesses from your old running buddies Viper & Corax. Keep your head up in our match next week. When we stand toe to toe in the center of the ring I want your best, because you sure as hell are going to get mine.
UD: You talk a big game boy. I hope you can back it up.
HC: You'll find out soon.
Camby backs out of the room. Dawg goes back to wrapping his hands.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:12:09 GMT -5
FF Capslock walks into one of the many dark corridors that Moosehead Jack hides in from time to time.
FFC- Been a long time since I came to visit you.
MHJ- What do you want?
FFC- I'm here to let you know that I think you've fallen off. Your Establishment has fallen apart. You brought me in as an independent contracter, however you've not asked me to do anything in months. You've been teaming with a total dick-surfer and ignoring all your real friends.
MHJ- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on one min...
FFC- No, I'm not done Jack! You got your eyes set on what I have! Stank and I are the Tag Team Champions, the one thing you crave right now.
MHJ- The real s*** of it is, we're gonna take 'em from you.
FFC- You know, I wouldn't mind so much, if the Moosehead Jack I once knew held these belts. But I'll be damned if Concrete TG is gonna hold our titles. And I'll be damned if this Moosehead Jack gets anywhere near our belts.
MHJ- Well it isn't your decision, we're taking 'em whether you like it or not. Trust me.
FFC- It is my decision, Stank and I will retain, mark my words. Better watch your ass, buddy.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:12:50 GMT -5
*Moosehead Jack is lacing up, getting ready for his tag match. Niles walks into the lockerroom and immediately, MHJ gets ready to fight.*
Niles - woah woah woah, Cowboy, hold yourself back. I came to wish you luck in your tag match.
MHJ - that's rich. Why should I believe that?
Niles - because I would've attacked you already if it wasn't true.
MHJ - good point.
Niles - anyways, you're obviously under a bit of pressure. I'll leave you be.
*Niles raises his hand to salute MHJ, almost sarcastically. MHJ sneers and almost ignores it but he notices blood on Niles hand as he leaves the lockerroom.*
MHJ - Hold up there.
*Niles keeps going as if he didn't hear MHJ. He's already outside the lockerroom. MHJ follows but Niles is nowhere in sight. However, what is in sight is a crumpled up, bloodied Concrete TG, a mangled steel chair, and a barbwire baseball bat.*
MHJ - Son of a bitch!
*MHJ runs to check up on CTG. Fade to Black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:13:12 GMT -5
We're backstage at a house show (not a real one, just the wrestling kind this time) and there's some random backstage interview guy standing, looking into the camera with a blank, clueless stare. I dunno...let's call him Marc Loyd, cause he needs something to do.
Loyd: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm standing by with one of the most controversial new stars in the OOWF, Mikey Styner...ummm...how the hell did I lose a 500 lbs. guy?!
Suddenly, we see a huge mass of blubber wearing a trench coat and sunglasses appear behind Loyd.
Styner: Perhaps you did not lose the 500 lbs. man as much as the 500 lbs. man lost you.
Loyd: And I see that for no apparent reason, you're a Matrix guy now, right?
Styner: Perhaps I'm not a Matrix guy as much as the Matrix guy is me.
Loyd: That's pretty much what I said but whatever. Styner, you're basically undefeated right now, and unlike most undefeated streaks, you have yet to legitimately win a single match. Every match you've been in has been decided due to outside interference.
Styner: Perhaps the outside interference has been decided due to every match I've been in.
Loyd: Dammit, you're just reversing everything I say. And for some reason, the OOWF has seen fit to give you an OOWF Intercontinental Title match. And when you comment, you damn sure better not say "perhaps the OOWF Intercontinental Title match has seen fit to give you the OOWF"!
Styner: Ummm...perhaps the Title OOWF match fit to give seen me the Intercontinental has OOWF?
Loyd: OK, this by far your dumbest gimmick ever. You should probably go back to being Cuban.
Styner: Ummm....Hey Yo.
Instinctively, Loyd and the fans respond with a Hey Yo.
Styner: Let me tell you, I'm going to make this...ummm...who's the IC Champ
Loyd: It's BlackDragon, God how have you managed to stay employed this long?!
Styner: So White Tiger, I'm goin' to wipe up your face...with the mat! What? I don't get it.
Loyd: Maybe you are just best off as an idiot.
Styner: You're an idiot!
Styner, for almost no reason, starts swinging at Loyd, who looks ready to fight if need be, because Loyd is probably some sort of badass or something. Security comes back to restrain Loyd as Styner starts to back off.
Scene Fade
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:13:34 GMT -5
<we see FFC and Stank walking down the hall way coming back from beating up Moose or bear or whatever it is they do in the wilderness. They get to their locker room and go to tunr on the lights, but nothing happens>
FFC: What the hell? Stank: Damn, did the OOWF pay the electric bill this month? FFC: budget is probably short from repairing all the walls that idiot Beast walks through
<suddenly a single lightbulb lights up illuminating the room just enough to see Moosehead Jack standing there>
FFC: What the hell!
Stank: DAMN!
FFC: Hey, how did you do that?
MHJ: never mind.
Stank: So what do you want, you wanna go right now? Let's go!
MHJ: Calm down guys, I'm not here for a fight. I'm here to thank you.
Stank: To thank us. FFC: Jack, you been hangin around with that creepy Seraph or something? You are getting all sentimen..
MHJ: Just shut up. I want to thank you, you guys opened my eyes to something. When you both first came to the OOWF, I hired you as mercenaries, to take out some people. Not long after that, circumstances changed and I didn't couldn't use your services. It all seemed to work out pretty well for you two though.
<patting the titles> FFC: Damn right it did
Stank: Two time champs right here.
MHJ: <grinning> That's great, really. Anyway, there came a point where circumstances dictated my actions instead of my actions dictating the circumstances. My teaming with Concrete has changed things a bit, Niles and his crew have changed things a bit. But through all that, there is one thing that has not changed in the least
Stank: and that is?
MHJ: I want thos tag titles. Capslock, you wanna see some of the old Jack? Great. You got it. Just remember, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
Trust me.
<the light clicks off casting the room into darkness>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:14:00 GMT -5
(CTG is in the infirmary getting patched up as Moose walks in)
MHJ: Is he ok?
medic: He's conscious, if that's what you're asking. Most of it is lacerations and such, he's just a little loopy from the blood loss.
MHJ: (nods) I figured as much, that's why I dragged him in here. He just needed some bandaids.
CTG: (groans)
MHJ: (walks up to 'crete) Niles kicked the sh*t out of you
CTG: only cause he knows I know......
MHJ: what?
CTG: Semaj......
MHJ: Semaj is dead, I saw the video
CTG: (sits bolt upright and grabs Moose's shirt) SEMAJ IS DEAD AND YOUR ESTABLISHMENT BASTARDS ARE BEHIND IT!
MHJ: (startled) whoa, whoa.......
CTG: (Snarls) Niles SENT Semaj to his death! 3 piece set made SURE he went to his car! YOU wanted to see him die, and were willing to let Niles slide on it! I THOUGHT OUR FACTIONS WERE DEAD, MOOSE!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
MHJ: (Struggling) I didn't have anything to do with it! Let me go!
CTG: BULLSH*T! (winds up to swing)
medic: (sedates CTG, who flops on the bed)
MHJ: .........
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:14:24 GMT -5
Stank and FFC are standing in their dark locker room.
Stank - So uh...
FFC - Hold on a sec. Let me see if I can find that light.
FF Capslock stumbles about in the darkness crashing into a few things and cursing under his breath. He finally finds the lightbulb Moosehead Jack had sat under earlier, then sits in the chair directly underneath. The sole illumination shines down on top of FFC.
FFC - Look a me! I look pretty intimidating under this light huh?
Stank - Not really. So you talked to Moose earlier?
FFC Donning a pair of mirrored shades- I am Morpheushead Jack. What you know you can't explain, but you FEEL it. You've felt it your entire LIFE, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't KNOW what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you MAD.
Stank - Cut it...
FFC - You have the look of a man who ACCEPTS what he sees because he is expecting to WAKE UP. Ironically, that's not far from the truth.
Stank - Could you be serious here for a sec...
FFC - I'm trying to free your mind, Stank. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it.
Stank -
FFC - Unfortunately no one can be TOLD what I'm rambling about. You have to see it for yourself. HA!
Stank - Are you done?
FFC - Yeah.
Stank - What the hell was that Moosehead was talking about? Bringing back the old Jack?
FFC - I had a little talk with Jack earlier. I called him on his pussification lately. You know, Oh how the mighty have fallen and all that? I told him, in not so many words, that I felt the Jack of old might deserve these titles, but this current wussified, hero, sidekick, comicbook, version could kindly kiss my white, hairy, ass.
Stank - So you've basically given him all the motivation he needs to take these titles from us.
FFC - Relax that's not gonna happen. He'll overcompensate and when he does... we retain.
Stank - Moosehead and Concrete are a dangerous team, Lock. Don't let the mask and cape fool ya. They're smarter than you give them credit.
FFC - Good. The greater the challenge the greater the reward.
Stank - Well I'm off to go see Rick about getting us a new locker room. The Tag Champs deserve better than walking around, falling over stuff in near darkness.
A man wearing a WWF namebadge is standing by the hallway door. He's holding an envelope.
Stank - Hey Lock, look! A representative from the World Wrestling Federation is here! We're being called to the big leagues!
WWF rep - This is for you mister Stank, sir.
The rep hands Stank the envelope then leaves. FFC shines the light over towards the door as Stank opens the envelope and reads the letter inside
Stank - Oh shit.
FFC - What?
Stank - We're being sued by the WORLD WILDLIFE FUND!
FFC - WHAT?
Stank - "On behalf of Moose, Grizzly Bear, Mountain Lion and Panda" I TOLD you that was a PANDA.
FFC - How the hell should I know? What are PANDAS doing in (BLEEP)in CANADA anyway???
Stank - Maybe it escaped from a zoo. All I know is the WWF is on our ASS. We gotta get Rick to get them to drop this lawsuit. The damn Panda is probably the one who got them involved in the FIRST place.
ads
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:15:09 GMT -5
3 2 1 here I come, here I come again, 3 2 1 HERE I COME!!!!!!'
:BBB OO OO MM MM !!
B B O O O O M M M M !!
B B O O O O M M M M !!
BBB O O O O M M M !!
BBB O O O O M M M !!
B B O O O O M M !!
B B O O O O M M
BBB OO OO M M !![/quote]
A massive Pyro hits the arena as the guitar heavy (and now cunningly reedited) 'King of My World' by Saliva echos around the building. As the music continues and the smoke clears we see Thim Reynolds stood in a crucifix pose (hands open, head back and a huge grin spread all over his face) on a small, almost invisible, platform just on the level of the bottom of the OOWFTron (which is showing a shot of Thim stood there). As the camera zooms in the fact that it's filming what it's showing produces crazy patterns and repeating images seemingly streaming out from Thim himself . . .
After milking the reception from the crowd for a short while the platform lowers and at about 5 feet from the ground Thim jumps off and makes his way to the ring, posing in the same manner on each turnbuckle. Thim grabs a mic as the music fades . . .
Oh hell yea!!!! Man that feels good. Thank you Waywayseewaysee . . .CANADA!!! I am so please to hear that you agree with me that THIS (Thim holds the Online Onslaught belt high in the air) is the only title in the OOWF that really worth having . . . and I've finally won it, finally got to the top of the mountain . . . COME ON!!! The Onslaught Championship. The ONLY pure wrestling title in the OOWF. No cheating, no weapons, no double-teaming or sneak attacks and above all everyone involved in fighting for this title respects everyone else gunning for it. I'd like to single out and thank Capellan for giving me another title shot. He beat me 2 weeks ago fair and square. He didn't have to give me a rematch but that's that kind of stand up guy he is.
I mean, look at the other singles titles we've got here in the OOWF . . . The OOWF World Heavyweight Title currently held by Niles Anderson. Now correct me if I'm wrong Niles but in only my second ever match here in the OOWF you only managed to beat me by count-out, and how did you do that? You claimed I wasn't worthy to fight you and then you smashed me in the face with a chair and walked away. What a MAN!! And it turns out you've basically bee doing the same thing ever since. SHow me ONE of your title matches that you've actually won yourself, no cheating, no messing, no weapons . . . you can't can you . . . worthless.
OOWF Intercontinental Title currently held by Blackdragon and being with Mikey Styner challenging for it this week . . . WHO?? Mikey Styner?? How long has he been here . . . 5 minutes?? Come on, give me a break. What the hell did he do to get that shot? Nothing. The Intercontinental Title is nothing more that a political joke. As for the Tag Team Titles, well with Mooseheadjack involved I think we pretty much all know where that's going.
Now I've got my first title defense this week and it against Uncle Entity, don't worry Capellan, you'll get your rematch but I guess theRick has decided that he doesn't want to put on the same match 3 weeks running - fair enough. Trust me Capellan, you WILL get your rematch, and if I know you like I think I do I think we're going to be able to give all these people another absolute barnstormer of a match . . . BRING IT ON!!
'King of My World' starts up again as Thim poses once more on all 4 turnbuckles before making his way backstage.
Edited to try and get the spacing on the explosion right . . . oh well
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:15:45 GMT -5
Thim Reynolds is WALKING~! backstage, pumped up from his promo earlier, when he almost bumps into Blackdragon carrying his belt over his shoulder.
BD – Political Joke?
TR – Well… You know what I mean. I wasn’t implying that YOU were a joke I was just saying…
Thim is interrupted by the presence of the Tag Team Champions holding their straps.
TR – Ok guys look…
FFC – You think Moosehead and Concrete are gonna beat us?
TR – Hey… We all know that Jack has STROKE around here. It’s not too much of a leap to thin….
Niles Anderson walks on to the scene. He glares at Blackdragon then at FFC & Stank and finally looks Thim up and down, scowling at Thim’s belt.
NA – You go around here, running your mouth after having held a title for one week, bitch?
TR – Now look guys I don’t wanna…
Stank – Man, you’re off to a bad start.
The champions all close in on the Online Onslaught champion as the camera fades.
*******Ads*******
Back from commercial and we see the Intercontinental, Tag and World Champions all lying on the ground unconscious. Thim is seen disheveled and limping away from the scene, adjusting his elbow pad.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:16:23 GMT -5
*The Team From Down Under walks up to the fallen champs*
WBK: I wonder who took these guys out?
GB: There's so many factions around.
OBJ: (picking up a piece of paper next to FFC) Aha! Moose, Grizzly Bear, Mountain Lion and Panda are involved.
GB: We'd better watch our backs.
*The Rick is talking on the phone while reading the sports section and looking at his calendar, trying to decide when to jump on the Yankees bandwagon*
TR: I don't care what you found on the floor. We have enough security guards, and I'm not hiring detectives. In resonse to your other question, no I will not fund a "CrocLock" challenge. It's just a full Nelson....look, just run along and have some sandwiches, and I'll call Wally to straighten this out...*glances under desk*...we've got other business to discuss anyways.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:16:48 GMT -5
(Uncle Entity is WORKING OUT)
Jesse Garon: (In Elvish) Man cap, we need to be careful with these antics we have been pulling in the Onslaught matches. They are supposed to be by-the-book. You knew that when you signed up.
Uncle Entity: I know, I'm having a little trouble adjusting. I have been cheating in matches for the better part of a decade. It's hard to play it straight.
JG: But you're a good grappler man, you don't have to cheat to win.
UE: I'm not so sure about that. I have never done anything but cheat to win. Holding the tights and using the ropes for leverage is part of my standard move set.
JG: I'm just saying ...
(Jesse Garon and Uncle Entity notice Gimmickman walking without purpose through the lockeroom.)
UE: Hey look! It's old catatonic Carl!
JG: Don't you mean non-participating Ned?
UE: No, I mean reticent Roy! Hey Roy! Look out!
(Uncle Entity BRAINS Gimmickman with a steel chair and scoops him up in a fireman's carry then walks out of the weight room. Jesse Garon follows).
Cut to Commercial.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:17:13 GMT -5
Stank regains consciousness, looking up at FF Capslock. He sees Blackdragon groggily walking away and Niles Anderson slowly stirring to wakefulness.
Stank - Ohhh. What happened?
FFC - It was the damnedest thing. First Thim jumped on Blackdragon and put him in a chinlock. You reached over and tried to pry Thim off, but he had a death grip on BD and wouldn't let go. So you punched him in the mush and Thim went sprawling. Blackdragon was out though...strange.
Stank - Yeah... I remember that. Then I reached over to grab him but... that guy is a slippery sumbitch cause he crawled between my legs then jumped up on my back and had ME in a... a... chinlock?
FFC - Yep. You started flailing about...
Niles - ... and in the midst of your thrashing, idiot! You knocked me out!
Stank - Hey! (Bleep!) you! I was trying to get Thim off of me!
FFC - It was crazy! I was like "Stank bring him over here!" You did and I peeled Thim off. But you were out. And I was like what the (Bleep!)
Stank - That chinlock and walking him over to you was the last thing I remember.
FFC - I punched Thim a few times then lifted him up for a powerbomb to the floor... the last thing I remember... he had slipped out of my grip and... wrapped his arm around my head... That's the last thing I remember before waking up and seeing you guys lying here... how the hell?
Stank - I don't know... and I don't care. Let's just get to Rick's office to get a new locker room and the World Wildlife Fund off our backs.
FFC and Stank head for the Rick's office. Niles stands up, brushes himself off, grabs his World Title and walks off camera.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:17:37 GMT -5
Back from commercial and we see GM the Rick on the phone clearly pissed. Stank and FFC walk in and wait.
GMtR - LISTEN to ME! We are NOT giving into you douche bags do you HEAR ME?!
the Rick slams the phone on his desk a few times.
GMtR - LISTEN! You HAVE NO PRECEDENT for THAT! I fail to see what ONE has to do with the OTHER!
the Rick angrily hangs up the phone.
Stank - Rick we...
GMtR - Stank! I don't even want to hear it. What possessed you two idiots to beat up on the local wildlife?
FFC - We got a challenging match up next and we needed a workout. None of the OOWF jobbers felt like getting beat up.
GMtR - That was the World Wildlife Fund on the phone.
Stank - That's what we came here to talk about... that and we need a new locker room.
GMtR - Well because of this... assholery you've pulled, they are trying to force our hand.
FFC -What do you mean?
GMtR - I've been told that they will drop the lawsuit against you two if we... drop the "F" from our name. They feel people are confusing the OOWF with the WWF...
Stank - Are you (Bleep!)in me?
FFC - This day just keeps getting nuttier and nuttier.
GMtR - Never mind that. Just don't go beating up anymore animals in the woods. I'll take care of these panda (Bleeps!). What is this about a new locker room?
FFC - Well Moosehead Jack was in there and you know how he likes to play this mind game where he sits under one bulb and speaks to you using his threat voice?
GMtR - I'm familiar with the gimmick.
FFC - Well in order for that to work it was necessary for him to remove all the other lights from the room. That one lone bulb is not nearly enough light for us...
GMtR - Say no more. Take 3 Piece Set's locker room.
Stank - Thanks Rick! Capslock, they got a Jacuzzi!
GMtR - Don't go thanking me yet. If this crappery with the WWF doesn't work out. I may just STRIP you of those titles!
FFC - Then I guess... it better work out.
camera fades
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:17:58 GMT -5
Ax & Cole are in the 3PS lockerroom enjoying the hot tub with 3 undressed ladies. Stank & Capslock come barging in.
Ax: What the hell are you two doing here?
Stank: Well seeing how this is our locker room the real question is What are you two still doing here?
Cole: Hey, dipsh*t, What does the name plate on the f*cking door say?
FFC: Well lets take a look. Why it says OOWF Tag Team Champs Stank & FF Capslock. That would be us.
Ax: What kind oft trick is this?
Stank: Seems like the Champs get the privilages and since we are the Champs that means you guys are back in the jobber locker room.
Cole: I'll give you a jobber you Fat F*ck!!
Stank: Calm down. Take it up with The Rick.
Ax: I will, that piece of sh*t has been messing with us since day one.
FFC: So, what are you guys still doing in our hot tub?
Cole: Can you at throw us some towels man. It's not like we are dressed appropraitely to be running down the halls.
Stank: These towels? (grabs the towels and throws them into the halls)
Ax: You son of a bitch.
FFC: Now get out of the tubs. (Capslock slams the OOWF Tag Title onto Ax's skull. Stanks nails Cole with his belt. Then they eat get a handfull of hair and drag 3PS's naked selves out of the tub and throw them into the hall. They close and lock the door with Ax and Cole left naked outside. We hear banging in the door for a few moments then we hear the snickers of SFJ's who are converging in the halls. A few muffled curses are heard and then th sound of running footsteps. Stank & Capslock are laughing uncontrollably.)
Random Tub Girl 1: I guess we should be leaving too.
FFC: You ladies are welcome to stay and party with the Champs:
RTG1,2,& 3: Ok
Scene ends with Capslock & Stanks jumping into the tub to join the ladies.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:18:22 GMT -5
(Uncle Entity is carrying Gimmickman on his shoulder with Jesse Garon following him. He walks into the OOWF Divas lockerroom and lets out a huge Road Warrior-like growl and the girls run off. Then he sets Gimmick down in a chair and starts raiding the girls gym bags and lockers. He finds Pita's thong, Trash Splatus's leather bra and Whorie Wilson's black pumps. Smiling he looks at Gimmick and then Jesse Garon)
Uncle Entity: (To Jesse Garon) Strip him!
JG: Strip him?
UE: I've got a little costume change for him.
(fade out)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:18:42 GMT -5
Flashback to the aftermath of last week's show, and Capellan is slowly waking up in the locker room.
"Dude! What hit me?"
"Thim locked in that new move of his and you went out like a light." Wilder answers while practicing skateboard jumps over the locker room benches.
"Yeah." Birdyman nods, "I don't know what he's doing with that move but it's damned effective."
"I'll say." Capellan sits up and rubs the side of his neck. "So I lost the belt then?"
"'fraid so." Wilder brings his 'board to a halt and looks sympathetic, "Just when I thought you were going to make the ropes, too."
"It was weird, dude." Capellan shakes his head, "Thim had it locked in and it was bad, but I didn't feel like I was gonna pass out. I reached for the ropes and ... nothing. I was out so fast I don't even remember it."
"Don't worry, you'll get another shot at him." Westgaard gives Capellan a slap on the shoulder, "But first, the three of us and the big dawg have Corax, Homovan Viper (not that there's anything wrong with that) and the Devil's Brigade next week. You gonna be ready for it?"
Capellan grins,
"Dude, you know I will."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:19:00 GMT -5
Ax & Cole arrive in the 'jobbers'locker room to find Frechild already settled in, lying on a bench, again reading a book.
Ax: Hey man, why didnt you tell us they'd kcked us out the champs room.
FC: Huh? OH, I thought you knew, it was Seraph who told me....
Cole: Hey man, I really don't like you spending time with that feak, who might remind you you have a match with THIS WEEK.... and you dont come drinkng with us no more, its like your not even part of the Set....
Ax: And readng all the time, thats WEIRD! And the standard of your assistance has been somewhat wanting of late....
Firechild sits up, slideshs book back into the pack and looks at them.
FC: Guys, is this what the set is all about, intolerance for a little change in my habits? Hell, I dont have a title EITHER anymore. Maybe Seraph was right.
Ax: What the FUCK do you mean by that you little shit. WE picked you up when you came here to the OOWF, we made you a contender and you're turning pussy on us, we should punk you back out to the indies!
Cole <restraining AX>: Easy man, but he has a point 'child, your not really being a part of things of late, and Seraph is no friend of ours. Soon you might have to make a decision about who your friends are.
FC: You dont understand guys.... but I assure you that you, and everyone else.....will.
He stands, and walks out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:19:19 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is standing backstage with Sexy Female Journalist #4*
SFJ4: Chris, tonight you will finally face your nemesis Niles Anderson in a Hell in the Cell match for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Are you nervous?
CA: Are you kidding? Of course I'm nervous. I've been in some pretty high profile matches before, but this is the match that could define my legacy. I've been screwed out of the championship so many times now... first by that raging pussy Donovan Viper and now by this punk that calls himself "the Specimen", and I'm starting to develop a reputation as a guy that's never going to win the big one. I know I can do it. I've fought Niles Anderson to the ends of the earth now. Niles knows what I'm going to do before I do it, and I think that runs both ways. I've beat him, he's beat me. We're such an even match its scary. But I truly believe that at the end of the day, I'm the superior wrestler. And tonight, its going to be just Niles and I in that cell. No Attitude Adjuster, no Beast, no Johnny Adrenaline. It's going to be just me and the champ.
SFJ4: But Hell in the Cell is said to be a particularly brutal match. Are you really willing to put your body- and possibly your career- on the line just to defeat the Specimen?
CA: Look, I'd put ANYTHING on the line to finally win that championship, and I may never have another chance like this. Tonight, Niles can't run away and hide from me. He can't disqualify himself to save his belt. He can't have his lapdogs jump in to save his sorry ass. That cell isn't an obstacle to me- it's an equalizer. If Niles really wants to beat me and retain his championship, then tonight he has to be the better man. Because the only way that Niles Anderson keeps that gold around his waist tonight is to be better than Chris Alt. And I'm standing here before you now to say that I'm just not going to allow that to happen. I've beat Anderson too many times before. I know how to beat him in a fair fight. Niles- tonight, I'm taking you beyond your limit. Tonight, I'm taking you beyond prime time. Niles, tonight, you and I, we're on a trip to Hell. And for one of us, that trip is one way. The other is coming back from Hell as the OOWF World Heavyweight champion. Pack your bags and bring them to the cell with you, Niles. Because you're in for a long stay in Hell. I'll see you in the ring.
*CA storms off*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:19:38 GMT -5
The lights dim. Metallica's Some Kind of Monster blares on the speakers. The lights flicker then...BOOM! PYRO as Stank walks out to a loud pop from the... wait there's no pop. No one is in the stadium.
Stank - What the?
Stank walks down to the ring, grabs a mic, rolls in under the ropes and stands in the middle of the squared circle staring out at all the empty seats.
Stank - Cut the music... Now Concrete & Moosehead Jack are pretty confident about their chances....Hey! Is anyone back there? I said cut the music! HEY!... Where the IS everybody??
Stank exits the ring and walks to the back. He goes to GM the Rick's office first. He knocks, enters and no one is there. He goes to his locker room looking for his partner, but Capslock is no where to be found. He knocks on several dressing room doors, Adrenaline, Adjuster, Capellan, 3PieceSet, The Devil's Brigade, Moosehead & Concrete, Blackdragon, Viper, Niles, NO ONE is around.
Stank - Did I get here early? WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY???
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:20:00 GMT -5
As stank is walking around looking for people. Tommy O'Neil Jumps out of some shadows and nails the massive man in the back of the head with a chair.
TO :"hey boyo....ya dan gotsta worry bout wh evrabody is at....cause ya worst nightmare's here"
Camby steps out of the shadows and chuckles.
HC:"hey Tommy, taking out the fat man was almost as easy as getting rid of that sloot he had a thing for"
to: "ya bet yer fekkin ass it was, dis nancy boy din't even see it comin"
with that camby and O'neil nail stank with a triple six on the concrete and walk away as blood begins to run from the bigman's forehead.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:20:19 GMT -5
OLD SCHOOL PROMO!
Dangerous Donovan Viper, Terrible Tommy O'Neill, Thunder God Harper Camby, and Corax the Magnificent are in front of a green screen that displays "The Devil's Brigade" logo.
DV: Underdawg. For weeks now, me and my crew here have had to put up with you, getting in the way of our business. I thought you'd have gotten over the fact that myself and Corax here have left you for greener pastures, but no. You can't let it go, can you? You can't just deal with the fact that Corax and I, we're just too good to be under your shadow. Tell him, 'Cor.
C: Well.... I thought we'd have taught you a lesson by now, Underdawg. I thought that maybe aligning myself with these fine gentlemen here would get you off my back. But no, Big Dawg, no. You (points to the camera) had to go align yourself with three bush-league indie kids to even the numbers. That's just laughable, Dawg. Your little bunch of misfits couldn't hold a candle to the Devil's Brigade. Really, it's not even fair. I mean, I could sit back and watch Tommy and Harper crush those three just by themselves. Ain't that right, Tommy?
TO: Ye kno somtin' Corax? Ye be tellin de trooth. Ye got de failed 'ockey playa, 'oo tinks dere De Goon, er somtin'. An den ye got de two kiddies, Capellan, a man 'oos lost 'emself a bit o' gold letly. Le' me tell ye somtin, Cap. What ye los' der las' week, ain't nuttin compared ta de kind of bloos loss ye'll be 'avin after Meyhem. An den dere's Mista Extreme 'imself, Tommy Wildah'. From one Tommy te anotha. Ye best not show up, cuz' there ain't nutin more extreme then me left 'hook. An' ye see, 'dat's not even ye' biggest problem. Ye've still got Mr. Camby 'ere te considah.
HC: wCw, you'd best take heed to what my tag team partner says. After this Wednesday at Mayhem, there won't be nothing left of any of you. And after we sweep the dirt off our feet with you clowns, then I'll have the Underdawg to myself. You keep messing around with Viper and Corax, but you don't even have the balls to challenge me one on one. That's because you know I'm stronger than you. You know I'm smarter than you. You know I'm better than you. And you know I'll annihilate you. And you can't do a damn thing about it!
DV: So you see, boys. We're all amped to face you four in the ring. We're all ready to tear you apart, and feast on your carcasses. Underdawg, wCw, this Wednesday at Mayhem, your days are numbered. And The Devil's Brigade will make you all rest.... in... peace... Hahaha!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:20:50 GMT -5
Stank, bloodied an a little woozy walks back to his locker room. He opens his locker, reaches past his title belt and grabs an aluminum bat. He slams the locker closed and walks out to the backstage hallway.
Stank - It's time for an exorcism.
FF Capslock is seen walking toward Stank from the opposite way
FFC - What the HELL happened to you?
Stank - Exactly
FFC - Wha? Where are you going?
Stank - I'm going to pay back the Devil's Brigade for this little love tap they gave me. Where have YOU been?
FFC - Fan appreciation day out back. Look, I'm with you on that and all, but it's going to have to wait. We've got to deal with Moosehead and Concrete. We don't have time for distractions.
Stank - Don't worry. It won't take long. I'm just going to go over there and bust a couple of kneecaps. That's all.
FFC - As much as I admire your thinking. I can't afford to have an injured partner for our title match later.
Stank holding up the bat- I'LL be the one doing the INJURING!
FFC -C'mon man think. The Devil's Brigade are just sore losers. They're trying to mess with your head.
Stank - FINE! But as soon as we win our match I'm going take out O'Neil and Camby. - swinging the bat - I GOT your 666, BITCHES! You'll never see a better batting average!
FFC - They can't hear you.
Stank - They heard me.
FFC - C'mon man. Let's get you back to the locker room.
Stank - Do you know I started to cut a promo and everything to an empty stadium? How come no one told me Fan appreciation day was today?
FFC - It's not my fault you didn't hear the party out back.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:21:29 GMT -5
<MHJ walks into the locker room he shares with Concrete, Jack is already ready for their match against FFC and Stank, Concrete is just sitting in front of his locker>
MHJ: Hey, what's up? We have a match tonight.
CTG: <silence>
MHJ: Look, Crete, this is our first shot at the tag titles, we finally are going to get what we want, what's going on?
CTG: Look, Moose, there is just too much going on right now, I'm still pissed about what happened to Semaj, there are people saying that you were behind it you know. Then there is Niles and Attitude and their garbage, you seem distracted too...
MHJ: Look, once and for all, to clear the air, I DID NOT blow Semaj up, I didn't like him, I would have loved to end his career in the ring, but it is just not my style to commit murder, assault and battery, sure, but murder, not quite.
CTG: What about Niles and AA?
MHJ: Look, I laid it out for Niles, so even he can understand, he has a full plate right now, he doesn't need me after his hide as well. I haven't heard a peep from him in a while so maybe the point got across to him.
CTG: And AA?
MHJ: Well AA, Beast and Johnny are all Niles lapdogs, so unless he tells them to hunt, they stay under the porch. Just the same, watch out, you were already jumped twice.
CTG: That brings me to my last issue.
MHJ: Which is? Damn what's with you all of the sudden?
CTG: Look Jack we spent most of our OOWF careers trying to kill each other, forgive me if I have my occasional doubts. The fact is, you hired Capslock and Stank as paid hitmen for a job that was never finished. How do I know that the job isn't going to be finished tonight? How do I know that you haven't lured me into this only to unleash those two to take me out? Capslock wants to see the "old" Moosehead Jack, what am I supposed to think?
MHJ: Look Concrete, I told you, I want those tag titles. There is nothing going on with me and Capslock and Stank, beside, if I did that I would be suspended and that's not my style either. Look, I have been on the up and up with you. Now, get ready, we have some tag titles to win, you're just going to have to, <smirk> ......trust me.
<Jack leaves the room, Concrete looks conflicted as Jack leaves>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:22:26 GMT -5
*Niles is walking inside the Cell in a dark arena. He's feeling the sides of the cage with his hand, a single light cast down on the ring. He appears contemplative.*
Niles - Tonight is it. Tonight is when a score gets settled. Who is the better man? Chris Alt? or myself?
Believe it or not Chris, it's a question I've always had myself. I gotta say, you and a lot of people have one aspect of me figured out. I am afraid of losing this belt. I worked hard for it. I won it. And now I cherish it.
*Niles raises the belt in the air and looks up at it as if it were Yoricks skull.*
Niles - So yes, I don't want to lose this. But don't mistake my fear for weakness. We're in a cage. My lackey's can't help me now. But this has happened before. Twice. Once you beat me and you were the first to do that. The other time, I powerbombed you from the top rope to beat you. And I was the first man to do that. We're one for one, essentially. And now we're in a cage.
*Niles grabs the side of the cell and shakes it a bit.*
Niles - I will win this match. Make no mistake. I've been proving myself since day one in this industry. And one thing I've figured out is that we're fighting a war. And war is what I know best. I've been prepared for quite a while. I had a sense of humour once. That died. I can't afford it anymore. When you get inside here with me, you'll find out why. It ends tonight, Chris. The better man will walk out with the belt. And the other will be left behind.
*Niles walks past the cameras view. Fade to black.*
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