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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:49:29 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Ottumwa, Iowa
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] El Lobo Sangriento vs. Psykle
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] Drink & Destroy vs. Regicide & Stan Fulton
Non-Title Match[/u] Alexander Darling vs. Stank
Non-Title Match[/u] Brass Knuckle Kings vs. The Night Marchers
Davin Moreland vs. CC Scott Moosehead Jack vs. Mai Muyo Texpress vs. Matt Folz & Chris Evans JW Westgaard vs. J-P Sparxx
card subject to incoming choppers
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:50:00 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack is in the back destroying his locker room. Everything goes, nothing is spared. Televisions, lights, tables, you name it, it gets destroyed. Moose is finally spent and drops into a chair that has only been partly destroyed. He looks up and sees Stank standing in the door way with a shit eating grin on his face>
Stank: Not as easy as you thought it would be, huh?
MHJ: Shut up
Stank: Want to just save a lot of time and effort and hand over my share of the money now?
<Moose just glares at Stank>
Stank: It's not your thing, no shame in that.
<Moose slowly gets to his feet and hobbles over to Stank>
MHJ: I AM going to win that bet. Even if it kills me
Stank: And knowing you it might
<Stank laughs and walks away, Moose stands there seething for a moment, then gets that familiar look on his face, he cocks his head as if listening to someone that is not there, then gets a shit eating grin on his face. He pulls his cell phone out and scrolls through the numbers until he finds the one he wants. He dials the number, but we only get half the conversation>
Hey.......yeah its Moose..........so, what have you been up to?..........yeah that is what I heard..........sounds good.........yeah, same old, nothing much really changes..........yeah.........look, I need a favor..........no, I can't come there, I am booked........look, yeah, I know it is asking a lot.........look, it's on me........yeah, it's covered..........yeah, all of it..........look, just come to Iowa, I am leaving DC tonight I think, I will be there Friday at the latest.........yeah Ottumwa.......yeah.........ok the ticket will be waiting for you........yeah, yeah first class.........yeah.......just get here.........later
<Moose snaps his phone shut and starts packing up his gear>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:50:30 GMT -5
Firewoman is SITTING~! upright in medical, with Alexander Darling, GM the Selena, and the newly hired medical staff. Alexander has been stitched up from his post match encounter with Stank. We join mid-conversation, and Firewoman is far from happy.
GMtS: Well?
The on-site doctor goes behind Firewoman so she can't see him and holds up two fingers. Selena nods and the staff clears the room.
GMtS: Okay, that's it then. Two weeks.
FW: What? You can't do that.
GMtS: Hi, GM, yes, I can.
FW: Yeah, but you said yourself, you can't trust these quacks and--
GMtS: These are new quacks. I hired them to replace the old quacks. You know, the ones that LET YOU WRESTLE WITH A CONCUSSION?
FW: So?
GMtS: So you have another one. So you're off the card for two weeks, and will be re-evaluated when--
FW: Psykle wants a --
GMtS: Look, you're already in the top ten list of "Most Likely to Benoit Someone In Your Future," and that's without the concussions. You want to make it Top 5?
OOWF Universe: TOO SOON!!
FW: ....
GMtS: Fume all you want. Decision is final. Laters.
Selena leaves. Firewoman fumes for a bit, and then starts to get up.
AD: Whoa, what are you doing?
FW: I have a ring tear down to super--
AD: Lucky is handling it....Just rest for a change.
Fire sits back, glaring in Selena's general direction.
AD: I thought you two were getting along better?
FW: I am, it's just.....Dr. Sid says I'm... envious.
AD: Of who? Of Selena? Please....first off, you're WAY hotter than her, and while she's not as dumb as she appears, you are--
FW: Thank you, but that's not what I mean.
AD: Well, what then?
Fire's voice becomes fairly dispassionate and clinical, as if she's doing the analysis and someone else is the patient.
FW: Well, she's taken my place.
AD: Huh?
FW: Moose.... he used to treat me like that, when we were younger. I mean we were the terror of the neighborhood, and sometimes I would take the lead, but he was always there...always had my back. NO ONE messed with me. Ever. Then, life happens. Now Selena is his little sister.
AD: Fire.....
FW: It's okay. One of the good side effects of...what does Dr. Sid call it? "Lack of affect?" Doesn't really matter that much.
AD: If you wanted to talk to him....
FW: What I want is to do my job.
AD: How's the leg?
FW: Throbbing along nicely. New Quack said any more pressure and there'd be serious damage.
AD: Who do you think it was?
FW: Not sure....
AD: Japan?
FW: *shakes her head* Naw....it's been quiet. Besides, not their style, really.
AD: Well, it's not like there's a short list of names you've pissed off...
FW: Yeah, I know, but recently?
AD: True.
FW: *shrugs* Most everyone around here have either forgiven me for the whole...Ecosystem thing, or just decided to move on. At least none of them are chickenshit enough to attack me with a mask on.
AD: The President?
FW: That'd be a stretch, wouldn't it?
AD: Yeah...Victor doesn't like you.
FW: Victor is many things, but he's not a coward. Even Psykle and Genius will come up to my face.
AD: Hm.......
FW: Alex.....
AD: Yeah?
FW: I have no idea. None. Usually, I ... I know, you know? This is....weird. I feel weird.
AD: You want me to get the doctor back?
FW: No, not like that...it's like...unpleasant...like something dangerous or bad could happen at any minute. My pulse is up.
AD: That's called "fear," Fire....
FW: It is? Oh....yeah...
AD: You've never been afraid before?
FW: Yeah... I kinda remember... a long, long time ago......I swore I'd never feel that way again.....
AD: Well, the message has been sent, so you're okay now. *He bends down to give her a kiss.* I'll go get our stuff ready to go and then come get you, okay?
FW: Okay.
Alex turns to go, and when he gets to the door, Fire calls to him.
AD: Yeah?
FW: Don't be too long, okay?
Alex nods, and continues down the hall. Firewoman leans back on her cot and stares at the ceiling.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 11:26:21 GMT -5
~~~ Zane Myers is DRIVING!!!! his Candy-Apple Red 1965 Mustang as Texpress head to Iowa Bridgette is in the passenger seat beside him, fiddling with the radio. Chad is stretched out in the back seat either texting or playing a game on his phone. ~~~
Zane: Ahhhh. I have missed this.
Bridgette: I know dear.
Zane: And we have an actual match to prepare for this week. No jobbers, no curtain-jerking against nobodies
Chad: Evans & Folz aren't nobodies?
Zane: In the grand scheme of things, they are. But in the context of this week, they are established OOWF wrestlers.
Bridgette: Boys, don't get too cocky.
Chad: Heh you said..
Zane: (cutting him off) Don't go there
Bridgette: I mean don't think it will be as simple as a normal tag team match. They are part of the Brass Knuckle Kings. You will need to account for Bryce and Eric.
Chad: Yeah, we know. I hate that they're still the champions.
Zane: I hate that they don't even defend the Championships every week. When we set that record, we put those belts on the line week in and week out.
Chad: Fighting Champions
Zane: Not taking time off for World Championship matches or Campeonas matches or endless Non-Title matches.
Chad: I think we need to go have a talk with the GM
Bridgette: No.
Zane: Why not? I think it's a great idea
Bridgette: Because there's a real good chance that you two will say something stupid and make her mad. I'll deal with her. You two just win matches. Now honey, Pull over in the next town. I need to pee
Zane: Again? We stopped 5 hours ago
Bridgette: Just do it
Zane: (grumbles) I hate stopping
Chad: Good Idea. I could use some Jack Links Jerky
Zane: Wait! Why is that bolded?
Bridgette: I signed a deal with them. Good money, little actual commitment on our end.
Chad: Free Jerky? Count me in! I love that Turkey Jerky. Can we do one of the Sasquatch commercials?
~~~ Zane shakes his head while Bridgette giggles as we fade ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 9, 2011 16:16:37 GMT -5
We’re in IQ’s luxury airliner flying from DC to Iowa. Psykle is asleep in the back of the plane, as IQ turns off the full wall movie screen where he was just watching OOWF-TV. He turns to the camera.
IQ: Ahh, Fire, when will the lies stop with you? A concussion? Seriously? How did that happen? I watched your match repeatedly, including the after attack by the masked man. A single chair shot to the head versus multiple attacks to your body elsewhere, including a chair-wrapped figure four. Sure, a concussion is possible from a single chair shot, I’ve seen it happen, but that’s not what is really hurting is it? You’re trying to draw attention away from the real problems. Not your leg, no, though I’m sure that’s hurting as well. No, the real problem is still your head, it’s just not a concussion. You’ve begun to doubt yourself. We can all see it, and you see it too. That’s why you had to low blow Psykle two weeks ago to get DQ’ed in the match, you doubted your ability to beat him, which in truth, you should, but now that that self-doubt has crept into your mind, you have no chance. You will be doubting every last thing you do, every moment you go to step in the ring. So fine, you’ve got yourself some more time off, another couple weeks, enjoy them. In fact, I’d even suggest that you find someone else for your first match back when your eligible to wrestle again on the 27th. The No-DQ, No-Countout, No Holds Barred match with Psykle? Let’s save that for the PPV and show them just what a true Bloodbath in Paradise looks like.
Psykle begins to stir in the back of the plane.
IQ: Now, as for you Lobo, you’ve seen what Psykle can do, you got lucky this past week, but now it is a one on one match for the Onslaught title this week in the Mayhem Main Event. You and Psykle. No one else in the ring to take his focus away from you. He’s learned a lot competing in the Onslaught division these past months. It’s time for him to show you that he’s ready to reign it. Enjoy your last week with that belt, Lobo. It will be on this plane next week for its trip to Kansas.
Fade to black.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 9, 2011 16:19:03 GMT -5
<we see Moosehead Jack riding down the road in his Shelby Mustang. He pulls off the highway and heads into a deserted desolate part of town. He turns onto a street, the camera catches it and we see it is Military Street, Moose is home. As he rolls down the street slowly, he stops in front of a half burned out house. Moose gets out of the car and stands and stares at the house as the wind whips around him. Moose stands silently, then cocks his head and seems to be listening to something that, once again, only he can hear. A group of kids walk up to Moose, clearly they are the local thugs, they start to talk a little shit, but Moose just turns and glares at them and they back off and head down the street. Moose gets back into the car and heads down the street. The car stops in front of what, at first, looks like an abandoned building, but upon closer inspection is an Irish bar that probably should have been condemned and knocked down years ago. Moose walks into the bar and there is a crowd of about a dozen hardcore drunken Irish men in there drowning their sorrows in beer. Moose walks up to the bar> Bartender: Something I can help you with? MHJ: Is Sean Quinn here? B: Who wants to know? MHJ: Is he here or not? B: Nah, he hasn't been here in months. I heard he quit the booze and found god. Poor bastard. Can I get you something? MHJ: Nah. I'm good. <Moose turns to leave when one of the patrons drunkenly calls out> DP: HEY! Ain't you that wrestler guy? MHJ: <never looking back> No man, you got the wrong guy <Moose gets back into the car and we follow him through the deserted streets. He stops in front of the Most Holy Redeemer Catholic Church just as services are getting out. The crowd empties out and Moose is about to pull away when the Father comes out, and with him walks Sean Quinn. Moose's eyes narrow and a sneer crosses his face. Sean Quinn stops his conversation and looks directly at the car trying to see who is inside, but tinted windows and falling darkness make it impossible. Sean takes a few steps toward the car, but Moose roars out of the parking lot and heads down the road toward I-96 and Ottumwa, Iowa.>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 9, 2011 16:19:33 GMT -5
Selena stands in her office tapping her foot with her arms crossed as Chuckles the Clown leads the head of security into her office. The large, rotund man takes off his hat and holds it in his hands.
HoS: Miss Selena.
GMSa-T: Don't Miss Selena me security boss dude!
HoS: I'm sorry, what seems to be the problem?
Selena looks at him incredulously and then grabs a manila folder off her desk and smacks him in the back of the head with it.
GMSa-T: What's the problem??? You let some masked dude come out of the crowd and attack Firewoman!!
HoS: Yes, I'm sorry about that, but we'll be more attentive...
GMSa-T: No kidding. And now I'm gonna do something I learned from Omar. Something Caeser Saladish.
HoS: What?
Selena leads the Head of the Security out of her office and down a hallway where all of OOWF security is lined up. All...eleven of them?
GMSa-T: This is it? This is all the security we have??
HoS: Mr. Muyo made some budget cuts...
GMSa-T: Anyway, where was I? Time to decimal you dudes.
HoS: Decimal?
Selena starts to count the security guards. She stops when she reaches number ten.
GMSa-T: Number ten. Sorry dude. You're so fired.
HoS: Oh, you meant "decimate"?
GMSa-T: You wanna be fired too?
HoS: No, ma'am.
GMSa-T: Go out and hire more security guards. As many as you need to have this place running correctly. I'll find the money in the budget.
HoS: We only have a week...
GMSa-T: I'm sure there are plenty of Iowa farm boys that'd love a job here. besides, they'd probably score with Alexis Darling for simply showing up.
HoS: I'll do what I can.
GMSa-T: Good. Now git!
Selena looks into the camera.
GMSa-T: Masked dude? You wanna run in on MY show? You want a piece of Firewoman? Well, you're gonna hafta wait two weeks, but if you really want her, come see me. I do love a good blood feud...whoever you are.
Selena turns down the hallway with a flip of her hair. She sees the fired security guard standing there.
GMSa-T: Get outta here, dude!
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 9, 2011 16:20:22 GMT -5
DVD and Ashley are sitting at the bar of the Destroyatorium. Danny and OBJ can be seen moving Kegs and other assorted things into the room as it's obvious they are just setting up shop for the week. Vic is looking at the roster sheet, and glancing at the trios belts sitting above the bar. Ashley notices this and nudges him.
Ashley: Something wrong Vic?
DVD: I'm just a little worried about our match this week. We defend the Trios Championships against Regicide and Stan Fulton. Individually each of those guys are tough, but together they are.....intimidating.
Ashley: Yeah, no doubt they are a scary sight, but this isn't exactly our first rodeo Vic. The boys will be up to the challenge.
DVD: I wish I had your confidence. If we where all on the same page maybe I would.
Ashley: Come on, we may have lost to the Hawaiians last week, but Jack and Danny really are gelling well together.
To punctuate this Jack can be heard laughing, Vic and Ashley turn and see him cracking up as Danny is trying to get a set of his wrestling tights back from Shotglass who is running circles around the big man.
DVD: It's not them I'm worried about, it's DH.
Ashley: DH?
DVD: When was the last time you had a conversation with him?
Ashley: (pauses) I'm not really sure.
DVD: He doesn't promo, rarely shows up until just before his matches, hasn't been training with us. When I do talk to him, he always seems to have a faraway look in his eyes, like he's already left mentally and is just going through the motions.
Ashley: I'm sure he will be there for us on Wednesday.
DVD: I sure hope so, or this is going to be a bad night for us.
The camera shifts away from the Destroyatorium and to the Hallway of random people. We see Floyd Capslock walking with the DDT Ironperson Heavy Metal Championship over his shoulder. Suddenly Chuckles the clown approaches him.
Chuckles: Juh Juh Juh!
Chuckles then hits Floyd in the face with a cream pie....that has a brick in it. Capslock is down and Chuckles makes the cover 1....2.....3..
Your New DDT Ironperson Heavy Metal Champion Chuckles the Clown
Chuckles grabs the belt and takes off running around the corner. Unfortunately for him around that corner stand Regicide, Stan Fulton, Justin Sane, and Stank. Stan is the first to notice the clown.
Stan: Begone foul Spawn!
With that Stan grabs Justin and lifts him over his head, chucking him like a human missile at Chuckles. Justin flies through the air slamming head to head with the clown. The both collapse to the floor with Chuckles on his back and Justin sprawled on top. A referee materializes and counts the three.
Your Winner and New DDT Ironperson Heavy Metal Champion Justin Sane
Stank lets out a laugh and picks Justin up with one hand and the belt with another. Stank shakes Justin awake and pushes the belt into his chest.
JS: Boss?
Stank: Congrats Justin, you finally won "your belt".
Justin just stares wide eyed at the belt like a child opening his first birthday present. A wide smile crosses his face, and he looks to see those around him smiling as well. Suddenly Justin's smile vanishes and turns to a look of panic.
JS: You will have to take it from my cold dead hands!
With that Justin takes off at full speed down the hall as the others look on in amusement.
LD: Ten bucks says he loses it before mayhem.
Tytan: That's a suckers bet.
They all share a chuckle as the scene Fades.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 9, 2011 16:22:05 GMT -5
On screen graphic reads "Some time later..."
FADE UP on The Crusher Stan Fulton, the OOWF Intercontinental Championship belt propped up, as if on display, in a locker behind the gargantuan wrestler.
"Congratulations, Justin Sane on winning the DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Championship. And I say this from experience... Enjoy the pain. For there will be a lot of it.
"Moving on. Wednesday night I lost... in that very ring... to the World Heavyweight Champion. Now, Alexander Darling, there are such things as 'moral victories.' And though I didn't get my hand raised at Mayhem, I was this close to defeating you. I bloodied you. I hurt you. I made you cringe in pain. You needed to see doctor after the match. I didn't.
"No, I didn't win. But I showed you, I showed our General Manager and the OOWF Board and booking committee that I deserve a shot at the OOWF World Title. Assuming Stank decides to take it easy on you, which I sincerely doubt will happen, someone else will be holding that title and I want my shot.
"Item three. If someone had told me six months ago that I'd be teaming with LD Williams and Tytan... and not as a punishment, I'd have said they were crazy. Well, here we are. I may not call them friends, but I certainly call them colleagues and teammates. I've faced them both and can honestly say that the two of them together might be a perfect match of pure technical skill and brutal carnage. And it doesn't matter which one's which.
"Now add me into that. Drink & Destroy, I've always respected your abilities. But you're severely handicapped this time. No one's heard from DH Magnusson since I took him to the limit in our four week, four match series and still kept that belt back there."
Fulton turns and looks at the Intercontinental title behind him, then turns back to the camera.
"So Maggs is AWOL and those Trios titles are just dying to come to us. They're calling our names, guys. So this Wednesday night, in Ottumwa, Iowa (cheap pop) Regicide and The Crusher Stan Fulton will be Campeonas de Trios champions. And I'll be taking step four on my way to becoming a Six-Pack champion.
"As a friend of mine would say... trust me."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 9, 2011 16:22:58 GMT -5
~~~ Inside the Texpress Dressing Area. Chad & Zane are sitting at the media canter, watching tape of their opponents this week. ~~~
Zane: See that there? he always goes to the left with that reversal. Bait him into it, and then catch him with an elbow as he does it.
Chad: You're right. (grabs a bag of Jack Links Turkey Jerky and bites into a piece
Zane: How can you eat that stuff?
Chad: Because.. it's good?
Zane: (chugging his Aquafina) Whatever you say. Let's wrap this up and head to the OOWF training facility. We have a sparring session lined up in an hour
~~~ In walks yet another Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist ~~~
RNSFJ: Interview time!
Zane: (with heavy sarcasm) Joy
RNSFJ: That's my middle name! How did you know!
Zane: Luck?
RNSFJ: Allison Joy Luck! that's my name!
Zane: (still with the heavy sarcasm) Lovely
Chad: Yes she is.
~~~ The RNSFJ blushes and forgets to conduct the interview ~~~
Zane: I'm leaving. We have a workout to get to
Chad: (looking back at the RNSFJ) I.... I..... Sheesh, I'm right behind you partner
~~~ Fade ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 10, 2011 15:32:50 GMT -5
<We are at an airport in Iowa - I don't feel like looking up which one. Moose is standing there waiting for someone. Moose finally heads toward boarding and we hear him speak>
MHJ: About damn time
Voice: Well, Scotland to Iowa is not exactly a short flight
<The camera pans around and we see..........FIRECHILD!>
FC: Ok, you got me here, now I have to ask you, why?
MHJ: Let's get a drink and I'll explain
<cut to the airport bar where Firechild and Moose sit having a drink>
FC: Ok, spill it
MHJ: Do you miss it?
FC: Miss what?
MHJ: All of it
FC:.......I do. But I am in a good place now
MHJ: I heard you do some MMA training
FC: Yeah, I have a small school, lot of good kids working through it now, but you didn't bring me here for small talk, so whats up
MHJ: I want to win the Onslaught title
FC: You already won the Onslaught title
MHJ: This time, I want to do it and leave no doubt
FC: <thinking for a moment> Ok, why me? You have LD Williams right there
MHJ: LD is teaming with Tytan and going after the tag titles
FC: You have Fire right there too
MHJ: Yeah......she is done
FC: So why me?
MHJ: You and I never really had much of a problem
FC: No, we didn't cross paths all that often
MHJ: And you were in the Set, you were one of the most ruthless guys out there, but you were one of the best the Onslaught division ever saw. You knew how to balance the two. I am lacking that balance
FC: And you brought me all this way to teach you that?
MHJ: Yep, Plus, learning a few more submission moves wouldn't hurt
FC: You're serious about this?
MHJ: Completely
FC: It won't be cheap
MHJ: I have that covered, according to everyone else, I am a fucking millionaire, might as well start acting like one
FC: It won't be easy
MHJ: I know
FC: The first time you even THREATEN me with HDB, I am back on a plane to Scotland
MHJ: Fair enough
FC: When do we start?
MHJ: Let's go
<they throw their drinks back and leave the airport>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 10, 2011 15:34:30 GMT -5
Chad and Zane are training in the training facility, and keep hitting the "Don't Mess With Texas"on some poor indie schmuck. They are interrupted by a female voice.
FV: It'll never work that way on Evans.
They turn to see Firewoman standing by the ring, in street clothes, on crutches.
CM: Hey! Lis...er, Fire.... *to Zane*...I'll get rid of her, sorry....*to Fire*...I know we were going to get something to eat, but I really need to train here and...*to Zane*...I'm really sorry, dude, I did NOT tell her to come here*[/i]....
ZM: I know....I did.
CM: You did?
FW: He did.
CM: Oh...well, um...that's....great then.....huh?
ZM: It's not rocket science. She teamed with Evans, they both trained at SWA...
FW: And I'm telling you if you hold him like that, he'll be able to free himself every time.
Fire props her crutches against the ring and hobbles up the steps and into the ring.
CM: Should you be--
FW: Chad, don't hover. Hey...indie guy...come here....Zane, pick him up like you were. Okay, now indie guy, I want you to slide down his back by using...yeah, like that.
They all do as told, and Indie Guy is able to counter and get out of the torture rack. Fire instructs Zane to pick him up again. Zane complies. Fire hobbles around the ring, and makes some adjustments in the way Zane is holding him, while Chad tries to restrain himself from hovering.
FW: There, feel the difference there?
ZM: Yeah, I think....
FW: Okay, now indie guy? Okay, you try to slide out like you were before.
Indie guy wiggles but can't get free.
ZM: Ah....okay...you're right!
Zane allows indie guy to get to the floor, and he goes for a drink.
ZM: Thanks, Fire.
FW: Yeah, now about Folz, he's a little more unpredictable, and a little more likely to go for the submission moves. Best thing to do with that is--
CM: Stay out of his grip.
FW: Right, but to know that's what he's going for he does a tell, that--
Fire is interrupted by a chirp from her cell phone.
FW: Ah, crap, guys. I have a session...I mean, conference call.
CM: Dr. Freedman?
Zane bristles at the mention of his name, and Fire looks away sheepishly for a split second.
FW: Yeah...just....a lot of stuff, you know?
CM: Yeah. If there's anything we can--
FW: It's fine.
ZM: Yeah um......I'm sorry that you ... that ...
FW: I said it's fine, okay? Look I do have to go, but I can come back later if--
ZM: Sure...or if we're done here, we'll be watching tape.
CM: Zane will be. I'll be out.
ZM: No you won't be.
CM: Aw, man......
Fire smiles with amusement at both of them.
ZM: You know...in addition to commish...you're a pretty good trainer.
CM: Hey, yeah! Maybe while you recuperate you could help Moose with his Onslaught--
Zane smacks Chad in the chest, as if to say "Shut up, stupid."
CM: Oh...right....uh....never mind.
FW: Yeah...see you guys later. Fire gingerly gets out of the ring, retrieves her crutches and goes out the door. Texpress watches her go.
ZM: Good job.
CM: I'm sorry!!!!!
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 10, 2011 15:35:14 GMT -5
*2601 Southeast Delaware Avenue, Ankeny, IA. For most people, they would recognize this as "Chili's outside of Des Moines". Actually, MOST people would recognize it as "Chili's in Anytown, USA". INCs head inside and we see a crew of at least 50 people (likely more). By people, I mean "short females 10-24 years old". That is, with a few exceptions. Well, 3. Davin Moreland, Samantha Darling-Moreland and Alexis Darling are all on one side of the room, one side of the table, all talking amongst themselves. As for anyone else you might recognize - the Totally Not Anonymous OOWF GM Dude - Selena al-Tikriti (nee Gomez) is seated 2 chairs over from Sexy Female Journalist #420 in your programs but #1 in your hearts, Moonbeam O'Callahan. They are literally surrounded by 40 or so gymnasts of varying ages (likely from the surrounding Iowa area), and they're all hanging on every word spoken by the girl in the middle - Olympic Gold Medalist, Dancing with the Stars Champion, America's Sweetheart and in this particular case, most importantly, Des Moines' Hometown Hero Shawn Johnson - who has seen her entourage increase from 1 (Moonbeam) to close to 50 over the course of the last week. There's lots of excited chatter and occasional SQUEE-ing - but everyone really seems to be having a kick-ass time. That is, everyone but the Darling/Moreland section of the room. These old farts just look tired*
LD: This is just fucking retarded.
SDM: What, Lex?
LD: I mean, look, will ya? They're having so much fun. They don't even KNOW these people.
DM: Hear that, Lex.
SDM: You too, Grinchy McGrinchalot?
DM: Close your eyes.
*Samantha closes her eyes*
DM: Open 'em.
*She opens them*
DM: How much glitter do you see?
SDM: Everywhere?
DM: No. On me.
SDM: Oh. *she looks* Yeah, that's probably too much glitter on a straight man with a kid on the way.
*Alexis giggles*
DM: You laugh. The amount of glitter currently on you pretty much kills any goth-cred you'd might want in the future.
LD: Psh. I don't do goth anymore.
DM: After this? You're damn right, you don't. Next Stop: Alexis Darling guest stars on "iCarly".
LD: Fuck off. Seriously.
SDM: Hey, it's near the compound.
LD: You can go kindly fuck off as well, sister dear.
DM: *smiling* Have you ever seen so many Southwestern Eggrolls in one place?
SDM: No. They're not even that good.
LD: Wait, there's food you DON'T like, suddenly?
SDM: Tossing that "fuck off" right backatcha, sis.
LD: I'll give you credit, D. I saw that whole spiel you gave to Shawn a couple weeks ago. Considering that this corner of the world smells like 500 lbs of strawberry cheesecake just exploded - you were pretty much on point.
DM: I'm wicked smaht.
SDM: You're an idiot.
DM: That too.
LD: How are you doing, anyway? Haven't had a chance to see you since...
DM: Oh me? Fine, I guess. Still healing up. But, no excuses. I've been hurt before. Just gotta keep pushing through, I guess.
LD: You're up against a new guy this week.
DM: Yeah. CC Something. All I know about people named CC: 1) They're fat 2) They're overpaid 3) They're motherfucking Yankees. That's all the inspiration I need.
LD: You know it's not CC Sabathia, right?
DM: Doesn't matter. They're all the same. I will channel the goodness and righteousness of Red Sox Nation and strike down with great force upon him to smite, nay, VANQUISH the Dirty Yankee Scum from the face of the Earth.
LD: Really?
SDM: Yeah, Lex. Really. I mean, give him a break - the dude's got no tape and no promos to work with. So he needs to come up with some reason. That's as good as any.
DM: Really?
SDM: What? You want everyone to think I'm just here baking cookies and knitting fucking booties for a few more weeks? Someone's gotta run your shit.
LD: Truth.
DM: HEY!
*They watch the poor server - let's call her Heather - trying to field the requests of the rest of the girls at the table, presumably for more Southwestern Eggrolls. *
SDM: Look at me. The bad-ass, internationally notorious, black sheep heiress to the Darling Family Fortune, Samantha Darling, sitting here uber-pregnant, in yoga pants and essentially ballet slippers; mowing on Southwestern Eggrolls and drinking Sprite like it's my job.
DM: You want me to fix you up with some orange slices?
LD: I'm-a go warm up the minivan for you, sis!
SDM: *sigh* So this is what happens?
LD: This is how what happens?
SDM: How I turn into "Mrs. Samantha Moreland milquetoast Soccer Mom".
DM: *raises his hand and calls across the room* 'Scuse me, Heather?
LD: You're not milquetoast.
SDM: I'm not? Look at me.
LD: Psh. I know where the tat is.
SDM: We do NOT discuss that in public, Lex.
*Heather manages to pull herself away from the throng of tweens, teens and others to head over to Davin*
H: Yessir?
DM: *pulls a couple of bills from his wallet* Heather, you're doing a great job with this crew. I appreciate it.
H: Oh, thank you Mr. Moreland. It's no trouble. We all love Shawn.
DM: Oh sure. We all love Shawn. And we're all having a great time. But I need to ask you...do you guys serve any drinks with...you know...
H: Actual alcohol in them?
DM: That.
H: No.
DM: *holds out his fist with the bills stuck inside it* Do you think my buddies here, The Franklin Brothers, can get you guys to make an exception?
H: *smiling* Of course. They're very persuasive, sir.
DM: Ok, get me a nice big tonic water with lime for my bride here. Give her the cocktail straw and everything to make it look like there's gin in it.
H: Tonic water has quinine.
DM: No shit, Dr. Oz?
H: *annoyed* She's like, really pregnant. Quinine's pretty bad for fetuses.
DM: Fetii?
H: Huh?
DM: Never mind. Before you drop all your Web MD medical expertise on me, allow me to let me into a little secret.
*Heather leans in, still annoyed, but $200 richer*
DM: Samantha would have to be on a full-out tonic water IV drip for the next 5 years or so, for it to have any real adverse affect on her. So you can file the "shouldn't drink tonic water" with "immunizations cause Autism" in with your "medical knowledge that is flat-out wrong" folder.
*She looks at Alexis*
LD: It's his kid too, you know.
H: Good point.
*This corner of the table falls silent as Samantha starts holding court with a couple of the younger gymnasts, who seem to be all about poking her belly*
H: Ok. Tonic Water for her. How about for you?
LD: Do you have a REAL bartender, or is it just some kid who's only made drinks at Chili's?
H: Umm...the second one?
LD: *sigh* Ok. Can I borrow your pen and paper?
*Heather gladly hands it over. Alexis writes some stuff down, and hands it back*
LD: That, my dear, is the recipe for the perfect Long Island Iced Tea. I will take one of those. So will he.
*Davin nods*
LD: And if there's any doubt on the recipe at all - just remember, "Mas Tequila". K, hun?
H: Sure thing, Ms. Darling. Anything else?
LD: Nope, just get those out here ASAP for the love of all that is holy.
H: On it.
*She leaves*
DM: Sammy Hagar?
LD: Have to keep the illusion of "Van Halen" alive. You know, since everyone else is so busy no-selling it ever happened.
DM: Thanks for ordering my drink for me.
LD: It's not what you wanted?
DM: No. It's exactly what I wanted.
LD: Good. It's your stupid recipe. Remember when you and I got all fucked up on these that one night?
DM: DO I?!? Man, that was a fun-
*Samantha notices where the conversation is turning and whips her head around*
DM: ...night of planning and plotting and completely professional behavior.
LD: *stifles a laugh* Yeah. That.
*Samantha glowers at them for a second before turning back to the belly pokers*
LD: *leans closer to Davin to sort of whisper* You know, I've never asked her directly...
DM: *quietly* Don't worry, Lex. She knows. She's pretty much ok with it. Pretty much. Sometimes it just sort of...leaks out.
LD: My big sister? Jealous of little old Lexie?
DM: Probably less jealous than Little Old Lexie is of her big sister, hmm?
LD: Don't flatter yourself, ass.
DM: Well, I'm just glad you two are able to get beyond that for the most part. That bullshit would be bad for business.
LD: I'm a Darling. I'm all about forgiving and forgetting.
DM: Oh, I get it. So this is like the opposite game?
LD: I'm serious. Otherwise I couldn't sit here without stabbing you.
DM: Aww, I love you too, Lex.
SDM: HEY!
LD: Drinks are here!
*Time passes. Samantha kisses Davin on the cheek after she gets her Non-Sprite that tastes like it might actually be something, while Davin and Alexis get their LIIT's going. We now cut to further down the table, where an exhausted Shawn is holding court with the Random Gymnasts.*
RG: So tell us again how you went to China with a rocket launcher and blew up all the underaged G...er...."Asian Girls".
OGMSJ: *very hoarsely* There wasn't a rocket launcher. Actually, I didn't do anything. They showed up anyway. If I had HAD a rocket launcher, I totally would have used it.
GMtSa-T: I would have too. How dare they cheat like that!
OGMSJ: You? With a rocket launcher? You couldn't even point it the right way.
GMtSa-T: Since when did you start being a Physics Dude?
OGMSJ: Since when could you start saying "physics"?
SFJ420: Since when did you two start bickering again? Too much love from the demographic for the both of you?
OGMSJ: This is my civic duty.
GMtSa-T: I have my Omie.
OGMSJ: ...
GMtSa-T: ...
SFJ420: So...there isn't such a thing as too much?
OGMSJ/GMtSa-T: *smiling* Nope.
SFJ420: Well, it looks like the Pixy Stick high this crew is on is just about fading out, man.
*She points to several of the tweens who have fallen asleep at the table*
OGMSJ: 10 o'clock already?
GMtSa-T: Is there a Red Bull Dude around here?
OGMSJ: What the fuck is a Red Bull-
SFJ420: Stop it, Shawn. These kids don't need Red Bull, Selena.
GMtSa-T: But they're falling asleep, Crunchy Granola Dude!
SFJ420: They're like, 10.
GMtSa-T: That's right, Crunchy Granola Dude. I forgot. I remember what it's like to be 10. I was doing Barney...
OGMSJ: Eww...you fucked a purple dinosaur? That's gross!
GMtSa-T: NO! That's not what I said!
SFJ420: Ok man, that's my cue. *she stands up* Ladies who are not named "Shawn Johnson, Selena al-Tikriti, Moonbeam O'Callahan, Alexis Darling or Samantha Darling-Moreland" should call their parents or guardians immediately and get themselves like, totally picked up from here. K?
*Dozens of phones appear out of nowhere. Time passes. Kids and parents alike fawn over Shawn and Selena for the better part of the next hour. Stuff is cleaned up, and we next see Davin, Samantha, Alexis, Shawn, Moonbeam and Selena all seated at one table. Davin and Alexis, both half-cocked now, are trying to read the bill. Shawn and Selena look like they're about ready to sleep for a week*
SDM: Honey?
DM: *smiling, and a little sloppy* Yeah?
SDM: That's a "9", not a "0".
DM: Oh.
LD: Oh. That makes WAY more sense, sis. Thanks.
SDM: No problem.
OGMSJ: *rubbing her temples...suddenly looks like she hasn't slept in a month* So....fucking....tired....
GMtSa-T: *looking pretty tired herself, but was only idolatrized today as opposed to the last week or so* But you're home, Shawn. Aren't you excited for that?
OGMSJ: When was the last time you went home, Selena? Like really home?
GMtSa-T: I dunno...I'd have to check with the Agent Dude. A while.
OGMSJ: This is what happens when I come home. Every time. I love my family and friends and my home; but this, along with everything that I'm supposed to do with my job and all...it's just too much, you know?
GMtSa-T: Yeah, ok, I understand I think. I mean, I'm tired, and they didn't even care about me today. Which was...weird.
SFJ420: That's like, because, Iowa is Shawn Johnson Country.
OGMSJ: And Texas is Greasy Wet-
SFJ420: Do NOT finish that sentence.
OGMSJ: Sorry. Old habits. Tired.
*Selena's phone goes off. It's a text*
GMtSa-T: My ride's here. I'm headed back to Ottawa.
OGMSJ: *barely conscious* Ottumwa.
GMtSa-T: Whatevs. You guys want to ride back with me?
SDM: No, that's ok, Selena. I think we're staying in the city tonight and will head back in the morning.
GMtSa-T: "The City". That's cute.
SDM: *smiles* I know, right?
OGMSJ: *wakes up some* Hey!
GMtSa-T: Later Crunchy Granola Dude. Later Twincest Girl Dude. Later Pregnant Dude. Later Ratings Dude........Good night, Shawn.
OGMSJ: *looks up smiling* Good night, Selena. Thanks for helping today. I'm going to finish up the union stuff this week and get back to you, ok?
GMtSa-T: No problem dude. As long as you're ok with how things are, there's no real rush. Ok. Outtie. or Deuces. or Peace See Ya Later....or whatever I'm supposed to say. Byeee!
*She leaves*
SDM: You sure that's right, honey?
DM: Hey, YOU were around all those kids this week. What do you think?
SDM: I think that Heather there made her rent this month.
LD: Good. Maybe she'll use the money to get the fuck out of Bumblefuck, Iowa.
OGMSJ: *perks up enough to get indignant* You know, the Des Moines metropolitan area has more than 500,000 people. It's not like it's the middle of nowhere.
DM: Well. Shawn. Hon. It's Iowa. That's the definition of "middle of nowhere".
OGMSJ: *sigh* You people and your East Coast bias.
SFJ420: Not me. I'm West Coast, man *flashes the West Side gang sign*.
OGMSJ: *laughs* You're such a fucking weirdo.
*They all get up to leave and end up at the Renaissance Des Moines Savery Hotel. They get adjoining rooms and head upstairs*
SDM: $130/room/night. You can't stay in a cardboard box on the Cape for that.
DM: Or Boston.
LD: Or Miami.
SFJ420: Or San Diego.
OGMSJ: But you CAN in Iowa. So fuck all you haters, America's Sweetheart has left the building. *She heads directly to her room and presumably passes out*
*They all sort of look at each other, psychically decide that sleep is a good idea, and all head to their own beds*
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 10, 2011 15:36:00 GMT -5
*Danny and Outback Jack are sitting at the Destroyitarium bar. As we join them, Danny is raising his eyebrows. *
OBJ: No worries, mate. Mags is a veteran. He'll bring it.
*DDT shrugs his shoulders*
OBJ: Besides, we all know he's pretty much a full speed ahead brawler, we've worked with him a lot, and there's not going to be a lot of subtlety working with Mags.
*DDT drinks some beer and belches*
OBJ: True, but on the other hand...hey, when did you learn to speak Australian?
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 10, 2011 22:42:17 GMT -5
*Mai Muyo is sitting up in the side chairs, watching Texpress train. Zane Myers whips Indie Guy into the ropes, looking for a back bodydrop, but Indie Guy holds onto the ropes. Zane takes a right hand swing as Mai quietly approaches, Indie Guy ducking into the corner. Mai suddenly hops up and "blind tags" Indie Guy, jumping off the ropes with a missile dropkick taking Zane off his feet.*
ZM: Mai! What are you doing?
MM: Tag teams shouldn't train against just one man. Figured you might want a second.
CM: Are you my new stalker or what?
MM: That's a confusing question to answer. I mean, yes I am, but that question makes it sound like you're the only one I'm stalking. You're not that special.
ZM: We're trying to train.
MM: And I'm trying to join in.
*Chad and Zane look at each other. Indie guy is lying down outside the ring, exhausted.*
ZM: Fine. I'll take your tag. *rings the invisible bell Apollo Creed style* Ding ding.
*Zane Myers circles as Mai skips around her little circle. Zane goes in for a lock-up, and he obviously gets the better--but he realizes too late Mai is running backwards with him. She leaps through the ropes backwards before he can break the lock up, hanging him on the second rope. Mai lands feet first on the floor, and takes a bite from the bag of beef jerky.*
ZM: *getting up* Where did you pick up that move?
MM: Junichiro.
CM: Eco didn't wrestle like that.
MM: Junichiro tried a couple styles and used to talk about them to me. He started as a big high flier, but then realized that high risk-high reward wasn't always the smartest way to wrestle. So the last move might be off the turnbuckles, but he wouldn't be throwing top rope 450s in the middle of the match. He could do a 630 from when he was 23, but he didn't bust it out in the OOWF until last year.
--You know what? This is easier to show than tell.
*Mai slides back into the ring*
MM: Zane, I want you to run at me. I'm going to try to armdrag you when you do. Think about how to counter me, and then run.
ZM: Can do.
*Zane thinks for a second, and runs at Mai. When she goes to scoop him under the arm, he drops down to his knees and elbows her across the chest hard. She crumples down and rolls out of the ring*
CM: ...You okay?
MM: *bending over* Yep, just let me...yep, catch my breath...okay. So Zane, what's the armdrag based on?
ZM: Momentum, basically. You throw me as I'm running, I stopped the momentum.
MM: Kind of, it's actually simpler--otherwise you couldn't armdrag standing guys. It's leverage.
CM: Basically the same thing, you're using weight shifts.
MM: Ah, but there's an important difference. Momentum relies on the other guy, but you can build a moveset around leverage. That's what Juni did, because he got big enough to do it. There's a lot a 230-pound man can do to a 400-pound man, even if he can't throw him across the ring. Even if you dropped down, he could have still armdragged you through. As for me, though, I only passed the 180 mark this year after a four-year workout regimen. So I need to use my lightness beyond just high-flying.
*Mai rolls back in the ring.*
MM: Try it again.
*Zane hesitates for a second, then runs as Mai. Mai tucks under the arm to armdrag, but Zane drops to his knees again...and Mai pulls herself with the one arm over Zane's back, flipping behind Zane and tucking her arm around his neck. Mai twists--ENDGAME! Zane is flattened as Mai gets up.*
CM: Yipes. Surprised Lisa doesn't do that stuff.
MM: *shrugs* She knows martial arts and I don't. You can only keep so much in your head at once. That's the biggest mistake I've been making here--trying to pick up everyone else's style instead of sticking to mine.
*Mai extends the arm to Zane, attempting to help him up as he shakes off the cobwebs*
MM: And honestly, Evans and Folz aren't going to do this stuff, so I'm wasting your time having you keep this in your head. See you guys later.
*Mai slides under the bottom rope and walks out.*
ZM: Where are you going?
MM: Back to watching through binoculars. Duh.
CM: ...
MM: Joking. Kind of.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 10, 2011 22:42:52 GMT -5
<We cut to the Ottumwa Sports Arena and 4-H Annex where we see a sweaty Moosehead Jack in the ring with a sparring partner while Firechild watches from the outside. Moose tries to throw a punch and Firechild reprimands him. The two men lock up and Moose whips the kid to the ropes, the kid feigns a clothesline, but when Moose ducks, he catches Moose with a kick to the face, then scoops him up and slams him to the mat. Moose pops back to his feet, but the kid is up first and takes him to the mat with an arm drag, holds onto the arm and traps him in an anaconda vice. Firechild yells for him to break the hold, and they both get to their feet, the kid rather proud of himself. Moose gets to his feet, angry as hell>
MHJ: Son you better wipe that fucking smirk off your face before I tear it off and send it to your momma.
Firechild: Let’s take a five minute break. Kid, go get some water, good job.
<Firechild climbs into the ring with Moose, who is still really annoyed>
MHJ: Goddamnit this is pissing me off
FC: You’re too slow
MHJ: Thanks. You know, “Good job, you’re making progress” could have been something ELSE you said
FC: You ARE making progress, but you are too slow, and there is nothing we can do about that. That, and you are reacting, not anticipating.
MHJ: What?
FC: You are reacting to their moves instead of anticipating them. Look, the Onslaught division is a fast division. Sparxx is a speedster, Mai is fast……
MHJ: And Psykle and Lobo?
FC:…..you are not there yet. You can’t just react to their moves, you do that and you will be on the defensive all the time. You have to get better at anticipating the moves
MHJ: This is hopeless
FC: Look, in a normal match, do you wait until someone punches you in the face to react? No. You anticipate that your opponent is going to punch you in the face and you react before he can throw the punch, to KEEP from getting punched in the face. Same thing here. You have to THINK like an Onslaught wrestler, right now, you are a brawler in an onslaught match. You need to think like them
MHJ: So I need to think about what spandex matches my hair?
FC: Are you going to take this seriously?
MHJ: Fine, fine. Ok, so, that last series……
FC: how did it go down?
MHJ: <thinking for a second> we locked up, he looked like he was going for a clothesline, I ducked, he caught me with a kick, then slammed me. I got up and he took me down with an arm drag and put me in the vice
FC: Right, so what SHOULD you have done?
MHJ: Punched him in the mouth?
FC: ……….
MHJ: Ok……well he faked the clothesline……
FC: And you committed to the evasive move too soon. Even if he WAS going to hit the clothesline, you ducked too soon and he had time to kick you in the mouth. Let’s say he was going to do the clothesline, what would have been a better move that ducking it to get him at a disadvantage……..and NOT punching him in the mouth
MHJ: <thinking for a second> Drop toe hold
FC: Exactly. Take him to the mat with that, then you have the advantage. Ok, now, he slams you and you just pop to your feet, what is wrong with that?
MHJ: What?
FC: You just popped right back to your feet after the slam, no good.
MHJ: Why?
FC: Because you lost sight of him. He slammed you, and you rolled AWAY from him. You had your back to him and didn’t see that he was up first. He is faster than you, he is going to be on his feet first, all things equal, every time. You walked in blind and he took you to the mat and easily trapped you in the vice.
MHJ: Ok, I get that. So, instead I should…….
FC: If you are going to roll away, don’t get to your feet so fast. Stay on the mat until you see him, or at worst, get to one knee so you can move if he charges. Ideally, after a slam, stay flat, all he can do then is try some sort of drop move, in which case you can move, a cover, which you can kick out of, or he will have no choice but to wait for you to get to your feet. I know your M.O. has been non-stop violence from bell to bell, but there are time to slow down and let the match come to you. Now, try it again
<the kid gets back into the ring and he and Moose lock up. Moose sends him to the ropes and the kid rebound and once again feigns a clothesline high, but this time, Moose takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold and immediately pounces on him and traps him in a cross face. Moose pulls back hard and the kid howls in pain and taps out. Firechild calls for the break. Moose gets to his feet and waits for the kid to stand, then charges in, but the kid scoops him up and slams him to the mat. Moose stays where he is, and the kid hesitates for a second, then bounds off the ropes and tries an elbow drop, but Moose rolls out of the way and gets to his feet. As the kid is getting up, Moose charges in and catches him with a running knee to the face, then pounces on him and locks in the ji-endo. The kid howls in pain and taps furiously, Firechild once again calls for a break>
MHJ: Not so funny now, is it asshole?
FC: Let’s take a few minutes, kid go tell the next guy to warm up, Moose take ten.
<we cut to the outside of the training room where SFJ13 is standing. Radar O’Reilly is walking by, in army fatigues, looking at a clip board. He pauses, stops to listen for a second……>
RO: Incoming Moose…….
<Seconds later Moose walks out of the training room, and SFJ13 immediately stops him and starts asking questions>
SFJ13: Moose, no one thinks you can win the Onslaught championship, why are you wasting your time?
MHJ: Well fuck you too!
SFJ13: Ok, seriously, why are you doing this?
MHJ: Because go fuck yourself, that’s why
<SFJ13 just stands there looking at him>
MHJ: Fine. You want to know why? Because I can, that’s why. I have heard a lot of talk from a lot of people about how THEY are the best wrestlers in the OOWF. I have heard even more talk about how I am nothing more than a glorified stuntman, I get by on nothing but violence, that if I had to wrestle I wouldn’t last a minute. So, I am going to prove them all wrong.
SFJ13: Why do you suddenly care?
MHJ: Because I am tired of being dismissed. I am tired of being talked about like some has been. You want the facts, here are the facts. I have been here since DAY ONE. If you ask people, and they answer honestly, I am one of the most feared men in all of wrestling. I have no regard for my body, my health, or my safety. I have heard over and over again that it was time to put me out to pasture, to retire me, to end my career before I embarrassed myself further. Well guess what? I am still standing. There is not a man or woman out there who can out fight me. I give credit where it is due, there are a few that can stand toe to toe with me, but NONE can put me down to stay. Not Crete, Not Alex, Not Davin, Not Drink and Destroy, NO ONE. And now? Now I am going to prove that if I wanted to, there is no one who can out wrestle me either.
SFJ13: That sounds rather ambitious of you. You do one thing, and you do it well, why change that up?
MHJ: you know, that reminds me of the story of Ty Cobb - they criticized him for not being a power hitter - late in his career he announced one day that he was going to try to hit home runs that day, and that day only. He hit three home runs, and then went back to his usual style. It is not about being able to do it or not, I know I could always do it, I just never WANTED to. I am learning now that there is something satisfying about making a man tap, making him suffer and scream in pain. Is it as satisfying as making him bleed and see the fear in his eyes? Not quite. But the fear that is there when I cinch in a submission move that could snap a bone? THAT is real, and it is great.
SFJ13: You haven’t mentioned you opponent Mai Muyo this week, she beat you last week, why should this week be any different?
MHJ: Two reasons. One, I am healthier than I was last week, I was not 100% last week, but no excuses, she won. Two, I am learning Little Girl, I am learning more about you than you can possibly imagine, this week will be different.
SFJ13: She said she wanted to save you. What do you have to say about that?
<Moose grabs SFJ13’s hand and drops to his knees with his head down>
MHJ: Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been a lifetime since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins……..turning Mai Muyo into a quivering pile of jelly and sending her and her worshipping of false prophets and her belief in a magic book that tells nothing but lies and breeds hate and hypocrisy in man back to Japan where she can reflect and heal with her brother.
<Moose looks up at the camera with a snarl>
MHJ: You see Mai, this may come as a surprise to you, but I was raised Catholic. Oh yeah, it’s true. The Quinn’s would dress up on Sunday morning, Pops would dry out just long enough to attend service, Mom would kick the habit long enough to maintain, and the Quinn kids would be seen and not heard for mass. And if we got our Sunday finest dirty? There would be hell to pay. And the kicker? Your beloved religion, the very thing you seek solace in, and claim brings strength and comfort to others, and helps those in need? They knew goddamn well what was going on. They knew pops beat us mercilessly for anything. They knew mom was a crack head. And they never, NEVER stepped up and did a fucking thing about it. Your god failed me, failed US. You can take your god, your idols, your hope and your book of lies and you can stick them up your ass.
Mai, I want you to consider this, all those things your brother did, all those horrible things that he is seeking help for…….I would have done that all, hell a lot of it I HAVE done, and I have done it with no regrets. There will be no counseling for me, there will be no repenting, there will be no asking for forgiveness. What there will be, this week, in the ring, is me beating you. It will be me locking a submission on you and watching as the pain creeps into your face, watching as the pain overtakes you, and the fear sets in, the fear that your bones are going to break, that you are going to lose consciousness, that you are going to lose.
Mai, remember, this is not personal, I have nothing against you. Hell I remember when I would visit Eco in Japan and you were just his annoying little sister. It’s not personal, you are just the first step on the way to something bigger. But, if you want to make it personal, I will be more than happy to oblige.
Now, excuse me, I have to get back to work
<Moose walks back into the training room and slams the door behind him. We hear Moose yell for a kid to get into the ring with him, then we hear some action in the ring, and before long we hear a kid yelling he quits then we fade to black>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 10, 2011 22:43:38 GMT -5
*Moosehead Jack is training in the local gym with some local jobber while Firechild looks on, when a loud belch echoes around the gym. Firechild turns around and fist bumps Outback Jack*
OBJ: Good to see ya, mate!
Fc: It's been a long time, Jack, but I've got a job to do here.
OBJ: I know. I just heard what Moosehead Jack had to say, and I had to say something to him, man to man.
*Moosehead Jack heart-punches his training partner and rolls out of the ring to stand face to face with OBJ*
MHJ: Do you have a problem with what I had to say?
OBJ(drinks beer, long delay while staring at Moose, then belches):That was Australian for: "I am tired of being dismissed. I am tired of being talked about like some has been. You want the facts, here are the facts. I have been here since DAY ONE. If you ask people, and they answer honestly, I am one of the most feared men in all of wrestling. I have no regard for my body, my health, or my safety. I have heard over and over again that it was time to put me out to pasture, to retire me, to end my career before I embarrassed myself further. Well guess what? I am still standing. There is not a man or woman out there who can out fight me" and you know what, mate, you are right about that.
MHJ: So?
OBJ: First of all, I could say the exact same words myself. Next, don't let one of these bastards get you down, because I plan on ending your career, and LD's, before I retire as the last OOWF original.
*OBJ turns to walk away. MHJ looks like he wants to go after him, but Firechild gets in the way*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:08:13 GMT -5
Firewoman comes STORMING~! into the Darling Luxury Suites. Well, as much as anyone can STORM~! on crutches. Alexander is watching the Deluxe 3-Volume set of Stankamania, available now at OOWF.com! *ding* Although he doesn't look up from the screen because he's very focused and, really, if he looked up EVERY time Fire was STORMING~! he'd get whiplash.
AD: What's wrong.
FW: That....that......POP TARTLET.
AD: Which one?
FW: Your GM.
AD: She's your GM too.
FW: Yeah, and she's not clearing me to compete.
AD: It hasn't even been a week.
FW: So? I mean REALLY? Davin wrestled like three days after he was hit by a train.
AD: I think it was more than--
FW: WHO CARES? HE WAS HIT BY A TRAIN! I haven't had ANY concussion symptions for three days, I'm FINE.
AD: Uh huh.
Without looking away from the screen, Alex reaches out and grabs one of her crutches. Fire's knee buckles and a look of pain crosses her face, and she cries out as she regains her balance.
AD: Yep, totally fine.
FW: That's not fair, I wasn't ready.
AD: Doesn't matter. Psykle's not going to wait for you to be ready.
FW: That's just IT, Alex. He thinks I'm ducking him...I've never ducked ANYONE in my entire life.
AD: Really? A certain Japanese crime family comes to mind.
Firewoman gives him a dirty look, sighs, and hobbles over to another chair and flops down, frustrated and depressed. Alex sighs, and hits pause on the tape, and goes to sit next to her.
AD: I know that. The fans know that. Everyone else on the roster knows that. And even Psykle and IQ know that, they're just trying to get to you.
FW: It's working.
AD: So don't let it.
Fire looks down at her hands, a combination of angry and frustrated. Alexander thinks a bit.
AD: Aruba.
FW: Huh?
AD: We'll go to the house in Aruba. Sam said no one is using it next week, and she gave me the key.
FW: Why did she--
AD: I'm still technically disowned, so I had to get it from her. And she was happy to do it.
FW: Why?
AD: You really are dense sometimes. She likes..."us." Look, you're off another week right?
FW: Yeah, thanks for reminding me.
AD: Will you stop pouting and listen? I'll see if I can get next week off and we can go then. Think the commissioner would let me?
FW: I dunno....oh wait....that's me!
AD: There ya go, back in reality. Welcome home.
FW: Probably have to run it past Selena, who hates me, and will say no.
AD: You'll come up with something. I have faith in your powers of persuasion.
FW: Yeah, but I can't hit her.
AD: No, no you can't.
FW: Well...I CAN.....
AD: Fire.....
FW: Fine.
AD: Good. You could at least smile about finally going on our hone--
FW: DON'T SAY IT!! You'll just jinx it.
AD: Okay, okay.......so, the masked man? No clue still?
FW: No.....
AD: Well...all the more reason to take a trip.
FW: No, Alex. I'm not running from--
AD: Look, it's either that, or I call Eliot--
FW: I'm okay with that.
AD: --to be your body guard.
FW: ...
AD: ...
FW: I suppose you don't mean that like--
AD: No, I don't.
FW: ....
AD: ....
FW: I'll go talk to Selena. Can I please have my other crutch?
Alex smiles as he hands it to her. She smiles back and heads out to go to Selena's office. Alex goes back to watching the Stank DVD Collection, still available on OOWF.com!
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:09:05 GMT -5
*Fade in to the Destroyatorium in the Twin Galaxies Arena in Ottumwa, Iowa, where we find El Lobo Sangriento TALKING~! to SFJ711…
ELS: …but it turned out that Willis was dead all along.
SFJ: Wait, you just spoiled the ending!
ELS: I think the statute of limitations on spoilers runs out after 12 years. Now, you mentioned you had some questions for me?
SFJ: Right. First of all, how did no one realize he was dead?
ELS: Watch the movie. Any questions about the OOWF?
SFJ: Oh…yeah…uh…thoughts on your match with Psykle this week?
ELS: The man’s a monster, and I mean that in the most flattering possible way. He takes no prisoners in the ring. He’s one of the few guys around here who’s bigger and stronger than me. I expect this match to take the Onslaught rules to their limit.
SFJ: And what of Psykle’s manager?
ELS: Well, that’s where I think I have the advantage. If Psylke and IQ were one person, we’d all be in trouble, but IQ’s clearly the brains of the operation, and he can’t get involved in an Onslaught match, so I’m pretty sure I can outsmart Psykle in there.
SFJ: Moving on, what are your thoughts on MooseHead Jack entering the Onslaught division?
ELS: It’ll be a big change for him. A lot less blood, for one. But he talks a lot about trust and respect, and that’s what the Onslaught division is all about. You have to trust that your opponents will respect the rules, and you have to respect them yourself. Jack has been wrestling as long as anyone. He’s one of the all-time greats. He’ll figure out a way to win in this division.
SFJ: So you’re not at all worried about him?
ELS: Oh no, you misunderstand. I’m scared shitless that I have something he wants. I called Psykle a monster earlier and meant it as a compliment. Jack’s an entirely different kind of monster. He’s the kind that keeps you awake at night. I’m honestly hoping that he loses interest before he gets to me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a couple of shots over here.
*FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:09:45 GMT -5
Firewoman HOBBLES~ on her crutches into GM Selena's office, where Selena is feeding sardines to Humphrey.
GMSa-T: Oh, goodie! We have company Humphrey! Maybe she brought that yummy li'l penguin with her!
H: BARK!!
FW: You go near Opus I'll bea...
GMSa-T: How's your ankle? So cool to say that to someone besides Omar.
FW: It's peachy. You should clear me.
GMSa-T: HA!! (copyright, Eric O'Mac 2008)
FW: Or...
GMSa-T: Oh, this is gonna be good ain't it?
FW: Or you could give us the week off.
GMSa-T: You're not cleared to wrestle anyway so what the he...wait? Who's we?
FW: Me and Alex of course.
GMSa-T: You want me to give the week off to our Champion?
Selena shutters.
GMSa-T: I feel like so totally dirty saying that. "Our Champion."
FW: Well, he IS my husband. From one married woman to another, you can understand. Wow, I just said that.
GMSa-T: So lemme get this straight? Just like two weeks ago you were practically begging me to put you back on the active roster...
FW: I don't beg.
GMSa-T: Now, you want a vacation?
Firewoman shrugs.
FW: Yeah, so?
GMSa-T: Okay.
FW: Okay? That's it? No hoops?
GMSa-T: Nope. This isn't some other wrestling fed. We can go a week or two without our Champion.
Selena shudders.
GMSa-T: I said it again. Anywho, do what ya want. You and Alex got your week. I'll have one of the law dudes fill in for you as Commish. But you'll pay for it on your return.
FW: I knew there was a catch. Am I gonna have to punch out Chuckles again or something?
Selena laughs.
GMSa-T: That'd be awesome, but no. Alex is the OOWF World Champion. He's gonna have to have a big match on his return. You? Take the time to heal up, and totally have some fun. You're such a grouch.
FW: I am not.
GMSa-T: So where you guys goin'? Beach or something? You guys never did get a ho...?
FW: DO NOT say that word.
GMSa-T: Um. Okay. um, bow chicka wow wow?
Firewoman stares at Selena incredulously, then gets up to leave.
FW: We'll send you a postcard.
GMSa-T: Bow chicka wow. Bow chicka wow. One week!!!
H: BARK!!
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:10:25 GMT -5
<Moose takes a break from training and walks into the locker room where Stank is standing staring at the tv, shaking with rage. Moose watches it and catches the end of the promo>
MHJ: A fucking honeymoon?
Stank:.........
MHJ: We were just in Europe, they could have taken a couple days there
S:.........
MHJ: He gives you a non-title match, then he tucks his tail between his legs and runs away for a week? That's some bullshit.
<Stank explodes with rage and kicks the television over>
MHJ: You know what I would do? I would make this the most painful honeymoon ever. Make sure Alex knows what happens when he ducks you
<Stank looks at Moose and smirks and we fade to black>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:11:01 GMT -5
A camera is grabbed by someone and the beautiful and handsome face of one J-P Sparxx comes into view.
J-PS: Hello everyone, this is The Spark reporting for the Damn Nature, You Scary Channel, and this is ma new show, Huntin' Fo Moe Rons. In this show, we will be hunting down the moe rons that make life just a li'l bit worse ev'ry day, knowwhatI'msayin'? Let's see what we find.
J-P leads the camera through the halls haphazardly until we get a distant view of JW Westgaard frm behind, eating at the food table.
J-PS: (horrible fake Australian accent) Ah, what a byootiful look at one a da biggest moe rons here in OOWF, knowhatI'msayin'? Dat dare is J-Dub Rightguard. He's an example a da foolish sports fan dat thinks things like hockey, soccer, an' women's basketball are sports. Dey not foo. C'mon, now? Why ya think Atlanta let the Thrashers go to Wannapeg o' whateva dat damn city's called. should be called Bum Fuck Egypt, knowwhatI'msayin'?
Ah, look, he shovelin' food in 'is mouth like he ain't eva eaten befoe. Damn, dude. Don't eat with yo hands, dat's unsanitary an' shit. Let The Spark tell yas, ya only eat ribs, chicken, burgers, an' pizza with yo hands. otherwise, get yoself a damn spork muh fuckah. And if ya dat hungry, get yoself sum guv'ment cheese. Dat's what my moms did.
Now, you'll notice dat this idiot moe ron an' others like him ain't gots no girls wit 'im. Dat's 'cuz most of dees moe rons can't git a girl, knowwhatI'msayin'? Dat's 'cuz dey ugly. Unlike yoes truly. The Spark is byootiful, knowwhatI'msayin'?
A SFJ walks into the shot to interview JW Westgaard.
J-PS: Ah, look, a girl's talkin' to 'im. This is a rare treat to watch a foo like 'im fall on his ugly muhfuckin' face. Naturally, da girl's only talkin' to 'im 'cuz she workin' an' dat's the only kinda girl a foo like 'im can get, a workin' girl, knowwhatI'msayin'?
Ah, he on his way now. Probably to find 'imself a porno mag an' a bathroom, knowwhatI'msayin'? Ah, he gone. Well, dis has been an episode of Huntin' Fo Moe Rons with yo host, The Spark 'imself, J-P Sparxx. Hey, with ma title shots dried up, I gots ta do somethin' with my times, ya feel me? Deuces ya'll.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:12:01 GMT -5
Alexander Darling is sitting on a lawn chair on the roof of the arena in Ottumwa (that's conveniently next to a cornfield, because that's all that is in Iowa, right?) drinking a cheap watered down, what passes for an American beer. A tall shadow is cast over him.
AD: Care to join me? Brah?
Aina turns out to the be that shadow.
Aina: Sure, why not?
Aina sits in the lawn chair next to Darling.
Aina: Why are you up here? I heard you were and had to see this for myself.
AD: I heard this is what passes for fun in Iowa so I figured I'd give it a try. Besides, Fire is packing, and it's best to just get out of the way.
Aina: Enjoy your week off, brah. Some don;t seem too happy about it.
AD: Stank can think I'm ducking him all he wants. Let's see...
Darling holds up both his hands as if weighing.
AD: Another week on the road with the likes of Stank, Moosehead Jack, and the NotFive, or a week with my beautiful wife on a beach relaxing and doing...other things. Which would you choose?
Aina: No contest, brah.
Aina pops open the beer he brought with him, and then hands another to Darling.
Aina: Try a Kona, brah.
Darling sips it and spits it out.
AD: What the hell is that?!?!
Aina: Hawai'ian beer brah.
AD: Are you trying to poison me? Was that? Coffee?
Aina: This one has coffee in it, yes.
AD: Nasty. But hey, at least your talking to me.
Aina: Of course.
AD: Last time I talked to Kai...
Aina: That's Kai. He's a hothead.
AD: I meant what I said about Noel...
Aina: I know you did. You're allowed to have your opinion, brah. But she's ohana. Keep it to yourself and we got no problems, brah.
AD: But you're a friend to me. I feel like I need to save...
Aina: Get rid of that feeling now. We're grown men.
AD: I just hate what she's doing to you. And I want my wolves back.
Aina: We never left. Things are just weird now, brah. Lani doesn't exactly fit into our agreement.
Darling drinks from his beer again.
AD: At least get rid of the damn rock.
Aina: What rock?
AD: The one Noelani uses to turn you guys into the Night Marchers.
Aina: What the hell are you talkin' about, brah?
AD: Wow, you guys really are brainwashed.
Aina is quiet for a few moments.
Aina: We have our prematch meeting. Then the match and everything after is kind of a blur. It's just the juices flowing, brah. We want our belts back, and we'll destroy anyone in our paths to do so. Friend or foe.
AD: I respect that.
Darling and Aina toast and clang their beer bottles as they look out into the cornfields of Ottumwa, Iowa.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:12:44 GMT -5
*West Des Moines, Iowa. Chow's Gymnastics. We zoom in from a wide shot and see Davin Moreland, in obvious pain, working the leg press - presumably to strengthen his knee. Every press is getting a guttural yell, as he grits his teeth with every push. As he finishes his set, he immediately starts slapping the ground in pain and frustration. He's about to start another set when the Gym's Most Famous Member shows up in gym clothes with a towel slung over her shoulder. She checks the weight Davin has up without him noticing, and then sits at the machine next to him, throwing up 450 lbs of her own. Davin notices and audibly sighs.*
OGMSJ: Golly gosh gee, Davin. Sure looks like you're working hard.
DM: *clearly pretty exhausted* I'm rehabbing my knee.
OGMSJ: Huh. Looks more like you're being a pussy, to me.
DM: Excuse me?
OGMSJ: 300 lbs? I can do that shit with one leg.
DM: You're a world-class gymnast. You should be able to do that with one leg.
OGMSJ: *starts doing presses with zero effort* The average schmo should be putting up 2.25 times their body weight on leg press.
DM: My knee is shredded.
OGMSJ: I've seen you do 800 lbs. and not break a sweat.
DM: What part of "my knee is shredded" did you miss?
OGMSJ: Hey, if you want to make excuses for being a pussy, don't let me stop you.
DM: You'd better watch it, little girl.
OGMSJ: Or else what? You're going to job to me?
DM: There's not enough kayfabe in the world to make that happen.
*Shawn jumps immediately over to Davin's bad leg, and puts on a crappy version of a spinning toe hold. However, it has its desired effect as Davin starts howling in pain*
DM: FUCKING STOP IT, ASSHOLE!
OGMSJ: No problem. Just tap and I'll stop.
DM: *gritting his teeth* I'm seriously going to have to hurt you if you don't.
*Shawn just cinches the hold in tighter. Davin reacts with a kick to the temple from his free leg, and he hops up, hitting a Release German Suplex on Shawn. Shawn, however, flips in the middle of the throw and lands on her feet, rubbing her temple. She looks back at Davin, who is standing on one leg.*
OGMSJ: OW! Asshole!
DM: *visibly trying not to get mad* I told you, my knee-
OGMSJ: -is shredded. Got it. How long are you going to use that as an excuse?
DM: It happened like 3 weeks ago.
OGMSJ: And you're still pissing and moaning about it?
DM: I don't know what your problem is, but-
OGMSJ: My problem? *she marches up to Davin and would get right in his face, but Davin's got more than 2 feet on her, so she gets right in his belly button* My problem is, I'm tired of watching you lose matches. That's pretty much all you've done for months. You're fucking soft-
DM: Fuck you.
OGMSJ: -you're fucking soft, and while Sam and Moony are just sitting around enabling you, telling you how awesome you are and that you're hurt and it's ok...*I* fucking know better. You said it yourself. I'm a world-class athlete and a champion. Guess what? So are you. You're not like half those guys in the locker room. You're legitimate. No one can do what you can in the ring, not to mention outside it. I mean, can you imagine Stank trying to guard you in basketball? Or Fulton trying to cover you in football? Or Moose beating you in a 5K? Or Alex beating you in tennis? No. None of those things can happen. They're wrestlers. Good ones. And you know how I feel about Alex. But none of them. NONE of them. Can touch you as a pure athlete. And yet, here you are, jobbing week after week after week...letting yourself go...I don't know if it's your upcoming fatherhood, or what. But it's really sad to watch, Davin. Really sad.
DM: *pauses* I'm hurt worse than I let on, Shawn. Way worse.
OGMSJ: So? You're hurt. I get hurt all the time. How bad do you want it, Davin? Mind over matter. Mental toughness. That's what it's about. *goes back to finish her set on the leg press, and talks with no noticeable effort* You used to know that.
DM: *sighs, and sets back up on the leg press* I'm getting old, you know. It's just not that easy to bounce back like it is for you.
OGMSJ: Oh bullshit. You're 33, not 90.
DM: Almost 34. That's pretty much it for my prime, you know.
OGMSJ: *finishes her set and throws up another 50 lbs. before starting another* So quit already. You've already quit in your head, clearly, so you may as well hang 'em up before you not only hurt yourself, but someone else in the process. It's not like you need the money. Go live happily ever after with your wife and kids. Because nowadays, you're just embarrassing yourself.
DM: I'm not quitting.
OGMSJ: Why not? You've already almost quit twice in the last 6 months. Just get it over with, already.
DM: What the fuck is your problem?
OGMSJ: *finishes another set, and throws up 50 lbs. more before starting again, although it's taking effort this time* My problem is *pant, strain* you're too good *growl* to go out like some pussy. *grrr* If I wanted *pant pant* to be with a loser *grunt* I'd still be dating Evans.
DM: So you're telling me to quit?
OGMSJ: *finishes and takes a second to catch her breath before responding* No. I'm saying you should be working HARDER than you ever have before to get back to where you were. And you're not doing that.
DM: *thinks for a second* You're starting to train hard for London, right?
OGMSJ: *starts another set* That's the idea.
DM: I have an idea.
OGMSJ: K. What?
DM: You help me. I help you.
OGMSJ: *stops* You mean...you want to train together?
DM: Why not?
OGMSJ: Uhh...cause we do different stuff?
DM: Really? Gymnastics and wrestling isn't ALL that different. And I'll just bench when you're doing elliptical or whatever.
OGMSJ: *gets up and walks over to Davin. She points toward his stomach* No way, fatty. You need to do some cardio.
DM: *gets up and takes off his shirt* Really? Does this look like a fatty to you?
OGMSJ: *without hesitation, pulls up her shirt enough to expose her stomach, flashing a sick 6-pack* Davin, I'm a 19-year-old girl and I'm more cut than you. Now, do you want to get back to being great, or am I just wasting my breath?
DM: *sighs and appears to collect his thoughts before answering* Yeah.
OGMSJ: Yeah what?
DM: Help me. I promise I'll help you too.
OGMSJ: *smiles* Ok. First step, put another 3 bills on that pussy weight you've got up on the leg press now. 3 sets. Go.
*The camera pulls back as Davin visibly struggles through the first 2 sets. Badly. Shawn is yelling at him the whole time. The 3rd set seems to go better, as Shawn roots him through the last 2 presses.*
OGMSJ: Marginally better.
DM: *clearly spent* Thanks.
OGMSJ: Ok Nautilus time!
DM: *surprised* Are you high? I'm done-ski.
OGMSJ: *laughing* No. You're not. Let's go.
*Shawn and Davin work several exercises on the side-by-side Nautilus machines. Davin has a much easier time with this. Shawn seems to be breezing through it when she stops, causing Davin to stop*
DM: What is that bullshit?
OGMSJ: Wait, are you kidding me? I'm pushing pretty hard here.
DM: You're being a pussy.
OGMSJ: Oh, I see what you're doing.
DM: No you don't. There are 10-year-old Chinese girls pushing that weight.
OGMSJ: *getting seriously pissed off* Ok. Fine. We'll do another circuit on this then.
*They run through another, with Shawn struggling to finish at the end, but pushes through with Davin's encouragement*
DM: Marginally better.
OGMSJ: You're funny.
DM: What's next?
OGMSJ: How about the pool for a bit?
DM: Nice.
*The camera follows them both to the indoor pool, where they change into suits and immediately jump in and start doing laps. Shawn is actually a decent bit ahead at first, as Davin's knee is clearly bothering him. But, about 20 or so laps in, Davin seems to warm up and quickly overtakes her before eventually lapping her a couple times, prompting Shawn to stop*
OGMSJ: *climbing out* Show off.
DM: Sore sport. What's next?
OGMSJ: Elliptical time, fatty!
*Davin sighs as they head back into the gym, blasting out about a half hour on the elliptical machine before stopping. Davin starts to collect his stuff, apparently thinking they're done*
DM: Thanks Shawn. We'll do this again tomorrow?
OGMSJ: Do what again? We're not done.
DM: Wait, we're not?
OGMSJ: No. I have to go work on some elements. You have to spot me.
DM: Oh, ok, that's no problem.
OGMSJ: Then, I'm going to spot you.
DM: Excuse me?
OGMSJ: Yeah, you could use some rings work. Maybe even balance beam could help.
DM: Wow. I haven't done rings since high school. And I don't think my feet fit on a balance beam.
OGMSJ: Don't worry, I'm not going to make you do my double-back handspring, back layout dismount.
DM: That's so 2007 of you.
OGMSJ: *clearly surprised* OMIGOD! You actually paid attention then?
DM: Hey, that way I can say I saw Goldie Girl before she was Goldie.
*Shawn punches him in the arm before heading to the main gym. Davin spots her on the uneven bars and keeps an eye on her during some floor work. Davin surprises her by doing some basic rings elements pretty well before they head over to the beam. Shawn does a whole routine before Davin tries to climb onto it. Shawn cuts him off.*
OGMSJ: Fuck that.
DM: What?
OGMSJ: Do a real mount. None of this pussy shit.
*Davin groans before taking a step back and landing onto the beam one foot in front of the other. He wobbles a bit but stays on.*
OGMSJ: Not bad, grasshopper.
*Davin starts pointing his toes and hitting arm poses, causing Shawn to bust out laughing*
OGMSJ: Ok, very funny. Now just do some leg dips. Nothing hard.
*Davin has a tough time with this, moving up and down the beam slowly, dipping one leg over the side and bending down, before repeating it on the other side. He grits his way through it, his knee obviously killing him, but he makes it up one end of the beam and back*
OGMSJ: Not too shabby. Now get down and spot me for vault.
DM: I can just get down, right?
OGMSJ: *giggles* Unless you want to hurt yourself.
*They head to the vault and Shawn rips off about 10 of them before stopping*
DM: Your knees are too far apart. And your tuck is lame.
OGMSJ: Really? What the fuck do you know about it?
DM: Psh. Move. Tell me if this looks familiar.
*Davin moves to the end of the ramp and takes off running, albeit with a slight limp. He rips off a textbook Yurchenko with one-and-a-half somersaults, sticking the landing, although it's Kerri Strug-style. Shawn's just standing there with her mouth open*
DM: Not bad for an old guy.
OGMSJ: How...in the fuck...
DM: Told you. Wrestling and gymnastics aren't that different.
OGMSJ: But...*I* did that vault...In the World Championships...
DM: I did an 630 off the top rope once in a match.
OGMSJ: ...
DM: Please. You can do that vault in your sleep. You were what, 15? 16 when you did that?
OGMSJ: I'm like 4'9". And a girl.
DM: So? I'm taller and faster. I get better height.
OGMSJ: The Strug landing was a nice touch.
DM: I thought so.
OGMSJ: ...
DM: I did train on this stuff when I was coming up. Had to find a way to stand out.
OGMSJ: That was just...surreal to watch.
DM: I'm kinda flippy. Not as flippy as you. But kinda flippy.
OGMSJ: ...
DM: You said it yourself. I'm an athlete first. Always have been. Now, are we done?
OGMSJ: *gathers herself* Are you done showing off?
DM: Yes'm. Let's go. I owe Sammy some ice cream.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 12, 2011 11:13:23 GMT -5
*Stank walks out to the ring where we see Moose's Onslaught training has him torturing some poor soul locked in jiendo. Firechild reaches over and pats Moose's next opponent lightly on his back. The jobber grits his teeth and enters the ring. Just as Moose releases his victim to face the next, Stank arrives standing next to Firechild.*
FC - Lucas!
*The two men shake hands and engage in a manly greeting.*
Stank - Chris... it's good to see you, though I am surprised a little.
FC - Why?
Stank - I didn't know you had forgiven Moose.
FC - Jack? Well... One can't go through life bitter about the past.
Stank - Still...
FC - Hey you're friends with him.
Stank - I understand him. He doesn't bullshit me. Never has. That above all else is why I can call him a friend. All the other stuff that comes with that... is what it is. Not everyone agrees.
*Firechild while observing Moose, takes in Stank's words.*
FC - Funny. That's kind of how I feel about you.
Stank - That is funny. Weird me being friends with the original members of Three Piece Set.
FC - You and Cole reconciled?
Stank - A while ago. Ask him about the time he and I did Face Off.
FC - Face Off?
Stank - You had to be there.
*Moose whips his opponent to the ropes and on the rebound hits a textbook dropkick which sends the jobber hard to the mat.*
Stank - How's the training going?
FC - No one's died... so...
Stank - Pretty good, then.
FC - Yeah.
Stank - Well I'll leave you to it.
*Just then the Jobber HOWLS in pain after recieving a thumb to the eye!*
FC - JACK!
Moose - It was an ACCIDENT!
FC - Is that SO?
Moose - It was an ACCIDENT DAMN IT! Hey Stank.
Stank - Moose.
*Firechild and Moose continue their back and forth while Stank walks out of the great room to the back toward the locker room area. He walks up to the Commissioner's office and knocks on the already open door.*
FW - Come in.
*Stank walks in and sits on the chair in front of Firewoman's desk.*
FW - Stank, what can I do for you?
*Stank stares at Firewoman for a second then speaks in a low, deep, monotone.*
Stank - I want you to divorce Alex.
*Firewoman BUSTS out laughing! Stank remains stoic faced.*
FW - Oh... thank you for that... I needed a good laugh... you're funny.... okay really... What do you need?
*The big man maintains the monotone.*
Stank - I want you to divorce Alex.
FW - Okay now it's not as funny.
Stank - I'm going to ruin your honeymoon.
*Firewoman chuckles a little at this news.*
FW - Ha Ha seriously?
Stank -
FW -
Stank -
FW -
Stank -
FW - Lucas?
Stank - Where are you going. Where are you going on your honeymoon.
FW - Stop calling it a honeymoon and... ... ... .. I'm not telling you.
Stank - You're not telling me.
FW - You just said you want to ruin it.
Stank - Okay I was kidding. Where are you going.
FW - I don't believe you.
Stank - I'll find out anyway. You might as well tell me.
FW - No. I don't want to tell you. You're acting weird.
Stank - What makes you say that.
FW - You're talking in this weird monotone.
Stank - That's how I talk.
FW - No it isn't.
Stank - You making fun of my speech.
FW - Are you asking me, or are you telling me?
Stank - It's how I talk. I talk like this.
FW - No possesed people talk like that. OH GODS are you POSSESSED?
Stank - No.
FW - How am I supposed to believe you? You come in here talking about divorce and ruining my not honeymoon. BEGONE FOUL SPIRIT! I've got something in here that should drive you out of my friend.
*Firewoman starts fumbling around in her desk drawer and pulls out a firery red water gun. She squeezes the trigger shooting Stank in the face.*
Stank - (in his own voice) HEY! FUCK, WOMAN!
FW - Ah there we go. I knew that would work.
Stank - You got water in my eyes!
*With a shit eating grin Firewoman hands Stank a box of Kleenex facial tissues (endorsement pending).*
FW - Okay are we better now?
*Stank wipes his face, discards the tissue, and drops his voice back into the monotone.*
Stank - I want you to divorce, Alex.
FW - This shit again?
*Stank loses the Shaquille O'Neil act.*
Stank - I'm kidding. Though I'm afraid I will being ruining your not honeymoon.
FW - (whining) Stank!
Stank - I can't imagine what activities you might enjoy when he's in traction after our match Wednesday.
*Firewoman smiles.*
FW - Oh I can think of a few things.
Stank - Dear God. I really don't wanna know.
FW - Hmmm I can imagine them right now.
Stank - Aaaaaaand I'm out.
*Stank rises to his feet and heads toward the door. He calls back over his shoulder.*
Stank - I'm going to cave in his stupid face, Fire.
FW - Okay... his face is not where I-
Stank - AAAAH! LA LA LA LA! I'm NOT LISTENING!
Fade
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