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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:00:33 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Savage Harbour, Prince Edward Island, Canada
We can hear a small disagreement coming from the GM & Commissioner's office.
Firewoman: They're lying and you know it.
Selena: Even if they are, we can't prove it.
Firewoman: I've got an idea then.
We don't hear what the idea is, but a few seconds later Chuckles opens the GM's door and headbutts the lineup onto the door cutting himself up in the process.
Intercontinental Title Match Ricky Soaring Eagle or Attitude Adjuster vs. Chris Evans (c)
Onslaught Rules Match 2 - Best of 3[/b] JP Sparxx (c) w/ Jewel vs. Psykle
Non-Title Four Way Fray Stan Fulton vs. Stank vs. Eric O'Mac vs. Outback Jack
Anything Goes Street Fight[/u] The Darling Twins, Firewoman, & Rabbit Mask vs. Saints of Sinners, Ghosthead, & Comrade Sharkoff
For an Intercontinental Title Match Tonight[/b] Ricky Soaring Eagle vs. Attitude Adjuster
Singles Showcase Matt Folz vs. El Lobo Sangriento
Singles Showcase Kai vs. LD Williams
Tag-Team Showcase Texans vs. Maple Leaf Mafia (Canadian Dream & Canadian Nightmare)
Singles Showcase Aina vs. Davin Moreland
Dark Match Justin Sane vs. Captain Excellent
Card subject to Moose hating it and changing it.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:02:27 GMT -5
*Fade in to the OOWF arena in Deadman’s Harbour, where we find El Lobo Sangriento VIEWING~! the card for next week’s Mayhem…
ELS: Folz. Nice. I’ve been waiting a while to get my hands on you. You talk a big game, and you tend to back it up in the ring. Let’s see what happens when you get in there with me and the Wolfpack.
ELS: Oh, and Folz? Let’s see if we can do this one-on-one, eh? No New Guard interference, no D&D interference. Just you and me. If you think you can handle that, of course.
ELS: Wolfpack out.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:03:03 GMT -5
The same backstage reporter is sitting in Gm Selena's office.
"So what have you found out?"
"I can tell you this. Ricky Soraing Eagle has a record. a CRIMINAL record."
"So does 2/3 the roster"
"Parts of his court records are sealed. And while I'm working on getting them unsealed, I can tell you this. Mr. Eagle is a dangerous violent man."
"So is 2/3 the roster"
"He spent several years in Phoenix and Southern California, working in numerous promotions and countless bars and clubs as a bouncer and doorman. Naturally, his size and presence made him a wanted commodity on the club scene, and led to more than his fair share of assault and battery charges, nearly all of which were later dropped. He spent about a month in jail while in California, and a few nights in Arizona on assault related charges
Then he vanished for about a week, and turned up in Reno, Nevada. He made one appearance at a wrestling show there. This is where the records get unclear. He was invilved in an incident at a club where he had been working for less than a day. Of course, it involved a fight in the parking lot. He was arrested. Rumor has it he beat several men with a tire iron, including a state trooper and a casino executive. Noone will give me ANY names. There's a good chance at least one of them died"
"Really? Holy Shit"
"He was arrested, but the arrest report was never filed. He never went to court, charges were never filed, security footage of the parking lot vanished. It's like nothing ever happened. And suddenly, two days later, he is wrestling and bouncing in Portland Oregon, where he was until he was signed to come here."
"Wow. thanks for the update. Keep digging. This guy cant be any worse than who we already have here, but still, we really ought to know."
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:03:43 GMT -5
In a hospital room in....somewhere in Canada, Danny Taylor is dozing, but awake. He looks a lot better. He opens his eyes to see Victor standing there.
DDT: .....
DVD: Don't get up.
DDT: smile, then a questioning look
DVD: They called me to let me know you were awake. The commish flew us out here.
DDT: making a sign with his fingers like flames and then an hourglass figure.
DVD: Yeah....I was kinda surprised...I didn't even think to ask, but then the second she found out, there was a limo and tickets and we were on our way?
DDT: question mark
DVD: Oh right....*calling over his shoulder* .... he's awake, c'mon in.
Firewoman comes in, kind of tentatively, as she's still a little uncomfortable in ICU rooms.
FW: Hey.
DDT: Heart symbol.
FW: Awww....Sorry I didn't come earlier....but.....
DDT: nod of understanding.
There's a pause and then suddenly Fire gives him a long, but gentle, hug. Victor looks at her oddly, but Danny just returns it and smiles.
FW: Alright, I'll leave you guys alone to catch up, but if you want to fly back with me, give me a call. Otherwise, that ticket is transferable so take whatever time you want.
DVD: Okay....thanks.
FW: No problem.
Fire starts to leave and then turns around.
FW: Victor?
DVD: Yeah?
FW: I still think you're a small minded misogynistic bastard.
DVD: Okay....I still think you're a--
FW: But you have never lied to me, and I know I can count on you to tell me exactly what I need to hear, even if I don't like it.
DVD: Uh....
FW: So thanks.
Fire gives Victor a big hug too, and then leaves. DDT claps his hands and makes little kissy noises, teasing Victor.
DVD: Oh, shut up.
*FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:05:22 GMT -5
*Davin's looking at the lineup on GM the Selena's door.*
DM: Aina, huh?
*Davin walks away whistling a happy tune*
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:05:58 GMT -5
MANY HOURS LATER.....Firewoman is back and is walking down the hall when she gets to Davin's door. She knocks and he opens.
DM: You aren't going to hug me again, are you?
FW: No.
DM: Or slap me or hit me or say crazy things?
FW: No....well, I can't make any promises about that last part.
DM: Fair enough.
FW: Ice cream?
DM: Sure.
Davin closes the door and they head out for ice cream.
DM: Wait...why?
FW: Been a while since you bought me ice cream.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:06:55 GMT -5
*Davin and Firewoman walk into the one ice cream shop in town. Of course, it being friggin' DECEMBER it's pretty empty. They're jabbering out of INC range, until Davin orders*
DM: Ok, one large chocolate chocolate chip for me; and a large chocolate chip for her...with rainbow sprinkles.
FW: Rainbow WHAT? Why are you-
DM: Shh.
*Davin pays, guy scoops the ice cream, covers Fire's in rainbow sprinkles. Davin hands her her cone. Fire looks annoyed, but suddenly she's drawn to the sprinkles it appears*
FW: Oh....this uh....this totally sparkles with me.
DM: I know.
FW: This is how I-
DM: Used to get it. I know.
FW: But, I haven't even thought of it in years. In fact, I don't even really remember-
DM: Yeah, well, I remember. So eat it before it melts.
*Davin, working instinctively, grabs a couple of napkins, then Fire's cone right out of her hands, wraps the napkin around it, and hands it back*
FW: It's not going to melt. It's like 10 degrees outside.
DM: Still.
FW: *eating. Big smile on her face*
DM: Heh. I haven't seen that smile in a long, long time.
FW: *kinda surprised, not paying attention to anything but her cone* Oh, uh...ok.
DM: You do seem different the last few days. What happened to you anyway?
FW: *shrugs* I dunno. Had a weird dream. I woke up and, I dunno, just realized that there are people out there who care, you know? And I decided that they needed to know. You know, before it's too late. Life's short.
DM: Fair enough. Honestly, that's a better reason than I expected. You know, some vast conspiracy with flashback sequences interspersed with old-school Christmas movies.
FW: *laughs nervously* Yeah. Geez Davin, you make me sound like a nutjob.
DM: You ARE a nutjob. There is, however, nothing wrong with being who you are.
FW: I agree. That's something you do well. You don't ever apologize for who you are, or try to hide it, or are insecure. Davin is who Davin is.
DM: Cock a doodle doo...
FW: Yeah.
DM: ...
FW: So why, after all these years in OOWF, did you decide to go for ice cream with me?
DM: ...
FW: *eats more ice cream* I'll wait.
DM: ...
FW: No, really.
DM: *shrugs* I dunno. Seemed like a good idea.
FW: That's what you have?
DM: Lis...yesterday, today...you are the Lisa that I remember. Psyched to be alive. Psyched at what most would consider "everyday, mundane things". Finally, you know, acting like yourself.
FW: And exactly how would you know what "myself" is? I'm a complex person. Having a couple of out-of-character days doesn't make it me. Wouldn't it stand to reason that it wouldn't be me?
DM: When you were 6-
FW: Dammit Davin, stop talking about that, ok? I don't remember it! I don't remember at all!
DM: You remembered ice cream.
FW: ...
DM: And rainbow sprinkles.
FW: ...
DM: And you didn't gnaw my hand off at the wrist when I put the napkins on your cone.
FW: *looks at the cone*
DM: So, the memories, they're in there. You just don't let yourself remember. You've spent your whole life trying to construct this alternate personality for yourself. But in reality, you are truly who you are, who you were, and who you will be...when you've got that ice cream cone in your mouth.
FW: *mouth full* Are you saying I need things in my mouth?
DM: Doesn't hurt.
*Fire throws a dirty napkin at him*
DM: I know a little about a lot, Lisa, ok? But there's one thing I'm great at, and that's being able to read people to the core very quickly. I can tell who people really are. I know who you are.
FW: I don't think anyone does. How could you possibly know?
DM: *taps her a couple of times in the heart with his index finger* I've seen what few have. And it's clear, you're in there. It's just a question of remembering.
FW: I don't think there's anything to really remember, Davin.
DM: I'm gonna go run to the bathroom real quick. *pats her on the head. Again, out of character, she doesn't fight it, and actually smiles* You already have. You just need to believe what your heart and head are telling you.
*Davin leaves*
FW: *reflects on everything for a minute* He means well...
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:08:11 GMT -5
<Alexis Darling is alone in the gym working out when Moose walks in. Alexis eyes him warily, but Moose just laughs at her>
MHJ: I keep telling people that if I wanted to attack them, they would never see it coming. Why so uptight Lexie?
Lex: Because you are a psychotic piece of shit, and I fucking TOLD you not to call me Lexie.
<Moose ignores her>
MHJ: So I see your dipshit brother gave you permission to take a match against me
<Lexie slams the weights down and shakes her head at Moose>
Lex: You really DO live in your own little world, don’t you? He didn’t give me permission to do anything, he encouraged me to take the match to get rid of you once and for all
<Moose laughs at this>
MHJ: Well of COURSE he did. Little Alex may not have learned much in the way of wrestling from Poe, but he sure as hell learned manipulation. I guess you weren’t paying attention that day
Lex: What the fuck are you talking about?
MHJ: Jesus Lexie, really? I need to spell it out for you? Little Alex couldn’t beat me in a Taipei Fence match, and even YOU would admit that that waste of space is a better wrestler than you are
Lex: Your point?
MHJ: so if HE can’t get the job done, what the hell chance do YOU have? None
Lex: We’ll see at New Years Evil, won’t we
MHJ: No, what we will see is you being carried from that ring on your way to intensive care. Oh I am sure Little Alex will act distraught and threaten vengeance and death on me, but in the end, it’s all words. It’s kind of funny when you think about it
Lex: Again…..what the fuck are you talking about?
MHJ: Alex’s plan all along has been to be the top dog in the OOWF. He has not made any secret of that. He will do whatever it takes to get there, and once he is there, he sure as fuck does not want to share that credit with anyone
Lex: You are delusional
MHJ: Am I? He married Lisa to get her out of the title picture. He is encouraging his sister to take a match against his most hated rival, a match he couldn’t even win, knowing damn well I am going to hurt you. With you out of the picture, and Lisa relegated to subservient wife duty, Alex is free to proclaim himself the greatest thing in the world……..if he can beat me.
Lex: <laughing> You have such a warped sense of the world Moose. Does it hurt being wrong all the time? I saw Alex and Fire in Japan, I knew they would end up together at some point. If you think this is all a con game by Alex, then I almost feel sorry for you because you clearly have no idea what it is like to have feelings for someone……..or……..is it just your anger that Fire chose Alex over you?
<Moose bristles at this>
Lex: That’s it, isn’t it? My my how the mighty have fallen. Just a year ago, you and the rest of the Five ran the OOWF. Now? None of them care. Stank is doing his own thing. LD is doing his own thing. Fire is happy, Poe is happy, and that leaves just you, you miserable fuck. You have hitched your wagon to the only malcontent in the OOWF worse than you, you have made an enemy of everyone that even gave the slightest shit about you, and now, I am going to be the one to end the legend of Moosehead Jack. And won’t THAT sting. Instead of going out in a ball of flames against your greatest rival Alexander Darling, you will be soundly beaten by his little sister, someone you don’t even consider worthy of being in the ring with you. And let me tell you Moose, I am going to enjoy every second of it
MHJ: Now who has a warped sense of the world. Let me ask you something Lexie…
<now it is Lexie’s turn to bristle>
Lex: I fucking told you…..
MHJ: what was it you did when you came to the OOWF, before you went along with your brother and pretended to be a wrestler
Lex: You know damn well what I did
MHJ: I want to hear you say it
Lex: I am the CEO of Darling Enterprises, a Fortune 500 company. You know that
MHJ: Ahh yes. The CEO. See, I remember that, you worked right alongside GM the Rick during the War, hell you were practically the assistant GM, despite what that idiot Davin wants to say. You were one step away from all the power
Lex: What is your point
MHJ: All that schooling, all those smarts, all that talent, it just makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
Lex: WHAT? WHAT makes me fucking wonder? You are infuriating
MHJ: Makes you wonder why Little Alex didn’t push for YOU to be Commissioner. Ohhhh yeah, because he pushed for his WIFE to keep that position. Oh well, at least he pushed for you to be the GM after Rick had an unfortunate accident…….wait, that didn’t happen either did it? He pushed for a completely inexperienced nineteen year old girl to get the job. I don’t remember ANY mention of Alexis Darling getting the job
<Alexis glares at Moose, but looks genuinely hurt for a moment, she regains her composure but clearly, the words have hit home>
Lex: It would have been a conflict of interests……
MHJ: More than his wife being the Commissioner?
Lex: ……. And I am too busy running Darling Enterprises to be the GM of the OOWF anyway
MHJ: But yet, you have the time to try and be a wrestler
<Alexis finally has enough and slams the weights down on the floor and grabs a barbell and heads toward Moose, Moose doesn’t move, Alexis stops in front of Moose and Moose just smirks>
MHJ: Go ahead Lexie, do it. You claim you embrace the Darkness? Right now the voices are telling you to cave my skull in. The voices are telling you to do it. No one will care, I have no allies other than Eco, right? But you are not going to do it, are you? No, you are not. You are thinking about it right now, you are thinking what the repercussions would be, what would Alex think? What would Lisa think? What would They think? They are in your head, They…..
<Moose kicks Lexie in the gut, she drops the barbell. Moose grabs her and SLAMS her into the wall. Lexie falls to the floor, she starts to get up and Moose kicks her in the mouth sending her to the floor. He stands over her and looks down at her>
MHJ: That is why you can’t beat me Lexie. You think. You care. I don’t give a shit what They think, I only care about doing what He tells me to do. He likes you far less than I do, He has something special for you for the pay per view.
<Moose picks up the barbell and throws it at a mirror shattering it. He picks up a shard of glass and walks over to Lexie and drops to his knees and holds the piece of glass against Lexie’s throat, Lexie’s eyes get wide and she looks at Moose>
MHJ: Just like that, I could end it all right now. Now, I am sure your idiot brother is going to attack me at some point, pay back and all that, but I have already proved, there is nothing either of you can do to get rid of me. Beside, you remember that little stunt with Happy DethBat and the curbstomp? Of course you do. I would be well within my rights to cut your fucking head off right now. But I am not going to do that
<Moose gets to his feet and throws the shard of glass against the wall, Lexie is quickly on her feet>
MHJ: No, I am not going to do that, not tonight. He wants me to wait until the pay per view. He wants me to torture you and make your idiot brother watch, and Lexie, I plan on doing just that.
That’s what He wants. Trust me
<Moose laughs maniacally and walks out of the gym>
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:09:03 GMT -5
AA is on the phone.
AA: So I just figured since you've decided not to promo anymore, I needed a partner I can promotificate with. And if you ever decide to come back, we can feud over the lack of promification.
AA: I don't care if you don't think those are words. I KNOW they are words, and I use them. And I'm going to use them better now that I received this package in the mail today.
The camera pans over and we see a life-size cutout of JOHNNY ADRENALINE!!!!
AA (tosses the phone to the ground and starts talking to the camera): That's right! The #1 Promo Team in the OOWF is back! Johnny Adrenaline. Attitude Adjuster. The Chickenshit Heels! Tell them, Johnny!
JA: ...
AA: OK, I know you need to get your groove back, Johnny. That's why I got this one this week. Ricky Soaring Eagle! You think you're tough? You think you shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die? Well, that's just a story! Here's the truth! I'm a wanted man in all of Canada! I killed a Fine Indian Trinket Salesman! It's been news for years. And...what's that, Johnny?
(AA leans into the JA cutout.)
AA: Johnny says ix-nay on the Indian-ya. So I'll just have to say this. You and me, this Wednesday, Midweek Mayhem, Savage Harbour, Prince Edward Island, Canada! (cheap pop! tm) Intercontinental Title Shot! You bring your...your...whatever your gimmick is! I'm bringing my mouth, my ability to be a chickenshit heel, my manager-of-the-week gimmick! So whatcha gona do when I promotificationate all over you?!?
On the other end of the phone, Eric O' Mac sighs and hangs up.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:09:45 GMT -5
*Outside the Gym*
Moose makes it about halfway down the hallway before he's tapped on his shoulder and as he turns around...BLAST...barbell to the face and Moose collapses to a heap.
Alexis: First, don't call me Lexie.
Moose: Glargh...
Alexis: Don't try to talk, you probably have a concussion. Second, these mind games are pointless Jackie boy. You want to think that I believe I'm a good person...maybe I am, maybe I'm not but I know you aren't and that's why my brother asked me to do this with him. I am willing to get my hands dirty.
Moose is trying to get to his feet when Alexis "accidentally" drops the barbell on Moose's crotch.
Alexis: Oops. Third, HE is laughing at you Moose. HE doesn't care who bleeds as long as someone does. You're just the easiest person for him to manipulate. You're a pawn. You're a lackey. You always have been. Your father's. Poe's. Stank's. And LD's. You've been a pawn and a lackey since the day you were born and you will be one til the day you die.
Alexis reaches down and grabs the barbell once again and spits the blood out of her mouth from Moose's kick earlier...
Alexis: I bleed Moose. I feel pain. Because I am a human being. I am just like you when it comes down to it. You will hurt me at New Year's Evil...of that I do not doubt. But you doubt Moose. You doubt my abilities. You doubt my motivations. You doubt what's truly inside me. Inside my brother. That's going to be your downfall. If it's not me, it'll be him. If it's not him, it'll be someone. But once and for all the world will see how much of a coward and a puppet you truly are. So remember Moose, I am Alexis Darling...
Alexis drops down with the barbell once again and slams it into Moose's skull...
And you're just another bitch.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:10:29 GMT -5
<Moose is sitting in the back getting looked at in medical, Ecosystem stands silently behind him>
Doc: It was a nasty shot from the barbell, we will have to run some more tests to determine whether it was a concussion or not, until then….
MHJ: No
Doc: Excuse me?
MHJ: Nope, no tests. I waive whatever I need to, no tests. I won’t give those fuckers the satisfaction
Doc: But it is standard policy to…..
<Moose hops off the table and heads out the door down the hall, we hear the doctor yell after him>
Doc: THIS IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL! YOU NEED TO BE TESTED!
<Moose walks to his locker room with Ecosystem, they get there and Moose flops in an overstuffed chair and holds his head for a minute, rubs his temples and begins to laugh>
MHJ: You know, I should have expected as much. The hypocrisy of this place ASTOUNDS me. I give Alexis the chance to attack me face to face, and what does she do? Nothing. I turn my back, and she attacks me, and They cheer. But yeah, I am the bad guy in all this. Now, the interesting thing will be, what will our so-called Commissioner do about it? You want to talk about a hypocrite? Good god, Lisa was the QUEEN of back stage attacks. Does setting people on fire ring a bell Lisa? Does crucifying a man ring a bell Lisa? But now? Oh now there is a NEW sheriff in town, she is the LAW! She has CHANGED! She is going to CLEAN UP THE OOWF! She is going to SAVE the OOWF, whether it wants it or not! She is going to SAVE us ALL! Well listen up Lisa, I don’t need YOU or any of the rest of that worthless Darling clan saving a goddamn thing. You cast your lot with them, you are the enemy now, and anything you say, whether you are hiding behind your power or not, means exactly jack shit to me.
So what’s it going to be “Commissioner” are you going to do your job? Come on Lisa, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB! Or, are you just going to be a coward and say it was “retaliation” are you going to give Lexie a good talking to? A slap on the wrist? Oh, right, Moosehead Jack is the problem. Moosehead Jack is the cancer in the OOWF. I am always the problem. Never mind the Delusional Darlings running around attacking people for no reason. Want to tell me what was ever done about Alexander Darling putting Psykle through a wall Mrs. Commissioner? That’s right, not a fucking thing. Now, had I done it? Oh LAWD it would have been the WORST thing EVER! You are a hypocrite Lisa, the second you cast your lot with Them, you lost all ability to be impartial. But hey, don’t let things like facts get in the way of you walking around giving out hugs or anything.
<Moose looks down, then pulls the bandage off his head and rubs the cut, drawing blood, the blood drips onto his hands and he looks at it then at the camera>
And Lexie, if you think your little attack got my attention, you are wrong. You HAD my attention all along. This is a good first step, you say you embrace the Darkness? This is the first step down the road to hell. I have been there many times Lexie, what about you? Not much call for darkness and hatred in board meetings and cushy lives with mommy and daddy Darling feeding you from a silver spoon. I make you this promise Lexie, I promise you, two of us will head down that path to hell, only one of us will return. I know the way well, you……..not so much. I am going to hurt you, and I am going to enjoy it, and there is nothing at all you can do to stop me. I have no doubt you will inflict your share of damage, hell you are not completely worthless, but in the end, I will not quit, I will not stop, He won’t let it happen. He will never let a Darling get the best of me.
Trust me
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:11:20 GMT -5
Firewoman is sitting in a conference room with Selena. The conference room has been all be-decked with Christmas cheer.
SaT: this is a lot of tinsel and garland.
FW: You should see our Suite.
SaT: Still not wearing the outfit?
FW: No, but I'm looking for one that more matches my ... uh...... desires? Tendencies?
SaT: Fetishes? Iew...I don't want to know.
FW: Fine....
SaT: So you saw......
FW: *rubbing her temples* Yes. I'm tempted to just ignore them both.
SaT: The other option is to fine them both.
FW: She really WAS attacked first.
SaT: I was watching Law and Order the other night--
FW: Really?
SaT: Well, it was on as I flipped through and Humphrey knocked the remote out of my hand when it got there so I figured that's what he wanted to watch.
FW: Somehow that makes more sense...okay, go on.
SaT: Anyway, there's something about impotent threats and I think Moose was an impotent threat so....what is so funny?
Firewoman is laughing ... .REALLY laughing.....like tears streaming down her face laughing.
SaT: What is so darn funny?
FW: Moose.....imp................*struggles to catch her breath*...........okay, I think where you are going here........*giggles*........No, Selena, an impotent threat would be a threat that doesn't exist....
SaT: Oh......hehehe, that is silly.
FW: Or incredibly insightful.
SaT: Then what?
FW: I think they were saying 'immanent threat.' Was it about self-defense?
SaT: YES!
FW: Okay, so what that means is that the threat has to be 'immanent,' as in happening right now.
SaT: Not like, three weeks ago.
FW: Well, except in Texas.
SaT: Huh?
FW: So.....since Moose had already walked away......
SaT: RIGHT! That's exactly what I meant.
FW: ......
SaT: We have to fine them both.
FW: Yeah....we do.......I'd .... I mean, I can tell Lexie but I'd rather not be the one who .....
SaT: Ah.....Moose.
FW: And others.
SaT: *Thinks really hard. You can almost see the smoke coming out of her ears. We'll send the clown.
FW: Thanks...I gotta go.....
Firewoman leaves and meanders down the hall to the As Yet To Be Named Suites of the New Guard. She knocks.
SF: *opening the door* If you're here as Firewoman you can't come in. If you're here as Commish I guess you can come in.
FW: Commish.
Stan opens the door and she comes in, looking around. Finally she stops and turns to Stan.
FW: LIES!!!!
She grabs Stan and gives him a big hug and then as they separate and he's too stunned to do anything, she hands him a candy cane. She then goes around the room, one by one, doing the same thing. The only ones who seem to return her hug with any sort of enthusiasm are Kai and Aina (although Aina might be a little TOO enthusiastic). Fire turns to see Noelani standing there, hands on her hips.
FW: Eh...I have my limits.
Noe: Good thing.
FW: Okay, see you all later!
Fire leaves the room humming "The Little Drummer Boy."
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:12:00 GMT -5
**SFJ#47 approaches L.D. Williams.**
SFJ#47: “L.D., this week you’re facing another member of the New Guard. On half of the Tag Team Champions and one third of the Trios Champions, Kai. Your thoughts?”
LDW: “Wresting Kai is always a challenge. Should be an interesting night.”
SJF#47: “-”
LDW: “-”
SFJ#47: “That’s it? Really?”
LDW: <sigh> “Well, if you insist…”
**Williams pulls a yellow bandana out of his pocket. He turns his back to the camera and ties it around his head.**
SFJ#47: “oh crap…”
LDW <Turning back to the camera>: “Well ya know somthin’ SFJ, I’ve heard a lot about the Kai this week. I was hangin’ n’ bangin’ at Saint Peters Bay yesterday and people kept comin’ up to me, sayin’ ‘Willster, The Kai says he’s going to beat you Wednesday night. The Kai says you’re over the hill. The Kai says he’s the man now.’
Lemme tell ya somthin’ The Kai - you may be big, you may be strong, you may have the New Guard at your back, but the Willster has one thing that outweighs them all - the Willimaniacs.
Wednesday night in Savage Harbour you’re not just facing me. You’re facing the hundreds, thousands, millions of Willimaniacs. And we’re gonna scoop you up, slam you through the mat, drop the leg on you and pin you for the one, two, three. And then we’re gonna hook you to the back of the Willster’s wide glide, drag you to the shore, and throw you into the bay, brother.
So Kai, Whatcha gonna do? When the greatest wrestler in the world, the Willimaniacs, and PEI run wild on YOU!!!”
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:12:40 GMT -5
Alexis Darling walks in to the Darling Luxury Suites, black hood on her sweatshirt up over her head. As she walks in she overhears the last part of Firewoman's phone conversation.
FW: Um.......yeah, no, I think we're spending Christmas with the Darlings, ma..................no, they're still mad, but Samantha said she'd talk to them..........................because she gave them a grandchild probably...........someday, maybe, ma........look, I gotta go....okay, bye. *to Alexis* Hey, Lexie.
LD: Hey...what's all this stuff?
The camera pulls back to reveal lots of boxes with garland, tinsel, and lights coming out of some of them. Opus is waddling around with a headband on that shoots a sprig of mistletoe over his head, and he's attempt to carry some garland, but he's getting tangled in it. Fire goes over to the stereo and un-pauses the music she was listening to before her phone call. "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" blares.
FW: Just a few decorations.
LD: A few?
FW: Um....
LD: You don't celebrate Christmas.
FW: No, but I celebrate Yule, which is just about the same thing, and has all the same decorations. Birth of the Son, birth of the Sun...just change a few letters, here and there.
LD: I guess....
FW: Yeah...so, look, about your fine...
LD: Wait.
Lexie takes down her hood and walks up to Fire and gives her a hug.
FW: What the--
LD: Just getting it out of the way.
FW: So no....
LD: Not right now.
FW: Right anyway....look, I'm trying really hard to be fair, and really--
LD: It's not a problem, Fire.
Alexis sits down at a table, pushing a box of ornaments out of the way, and grabs a check book.
LD: Five k?
FW: Uh...ye....yeah.
Alexis scribbles calmly on a check, rips it off and hands it to her.
LD: Here you go. And....
She writes another check, and hands it to her.
LD: Here's a matching check for Covenant House. I know I put you in a really bad position, Fire. Sorry about that.
FW: Yeah....well, I do understand ... I mean, I know how infuriating my brother can be.
LD: Yeah....
Lexie thinks for a minute, then writes out another check. She hands it to Fire and stands.
FW: Wow, ten thousand? What's that for?
LD: The next time.
Lexie pulls her hood up and goes to her room. Fire shrugs, puts it with the others, and goes to help Opus who has managed to get a designer black wreath with red and silver garland and bows around himself, pinning his arms to his sides.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:13:53 GMT -5
We’re in the training trailer outside the arena, and Psykle is hard at work in the ring with some local wrestlers. He seems to be truly frustrated, and having trouble focusing. Stevie Richards walks in, observes for a bit, before stepping up on the ring apron.Stevie: Hey guys, why don’t you take a break? Psykle: What are you doing? We can’t stop. I need to keep training. I lost focus in the match last week, and now, I cannot lose to Sparxx again. One more loss to him in this series, and I’m done. Bottom of the ladder, have to go through everyone else in this company before I get another shot… Stevie: …and that’s why you need take a break. You’re focusing too hard on not losing, and not focusing enough on winning. Psykle: What in the world does that even mean? Stevie removes his button down white shirt to reveal one of Psykle’s new black t-shirt’s with the red bold letters on it and points to the logo. Old Guard, New Guard… It Doesn’t Matter. I’m the Right Guard.Stevie: It’s the number one seller on OOWFShop.com this week again, but it’s not just a catchphrase. Psykle: It’s not even a catchphrase, it was just something I said in the heat of the moment. Stevie: Duh! That’s my point. It was the heat of the moment. You weren’t overly focused on something else. You were just harnessing your emotions and rage to move yourself forward. That’s what you need to do. Harness it and let it release naturally. Psykle: What if it’s not enough? Stevie: Then it’s not enough, and you come back, work at it more, and then you try again. Let me ask you, why do you think you lost this week? Psykle: I wasn’t focused enough. The fact that the fans are starting to warm up to me, and were cheering me on against Sparxx got in my head, and kept me from focusing on winning the match. Stevie: Wrong. Psykle: Wrong? Stevie: You lost because you were too focused. Too focused on the crowd’s reaction, too focused on beating Sparxx, too focused on upholding the honor of the Onslaught Division, too focused on the clock, too focused on everything going on. All those points of focus, it split your attention to much. You just need to let go. Psykle: Maybe you’re right. Oh, this briefcase came from Headquarters for you. ubernerdnation.com/theblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Iron-Man-II-Briefcase-300x300.jpg[/img]Stevie: Yes! You didn’t open it did you? Psykle: Nope. Stevie picks up the briefcase and starts to walk off.Stevie: Good. I, um, I have some things to work on…some new merchandise ideas, yea…I’ll, uh, see you later… Stevie leaves, and Psykle gets a pleased look on his face.Psykle: That should take care of him for a while… Fade to Black.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:15:08 GMT -5
~~~ Chad Madison is seen KNOCKING on Davin Moreland's door. Davin himself answers. We have an odd staredown, then... ~~~
Chad: Davin.
Davin: (putting his hand to his head and looking over Chad) Hellloooooo? Is anyone out there?
Chad: Funny. Are you done yet.
Davin: Oh hey, it's my former Comrade.
Chad: Seriously, are you still.....
Davin : YES! I am still going to hold that over your head for as long as I see you. You broke the code little man, don't expect me to ever forgive that.
Chad: Then that makes this easy. Good luck this week (turns to walk away)
~~~ Davin grabs Chad by the shoulder and spins him back around ~~~
Davin: You do NOT get to walk away from me punk. I know EXACTLY what you were going to say. You failed to win a match with Firewoman, and then Outback Jack couldn't get the job done either. You were coming crawling back to good ol' Davin to see if he would carry your sorry ass to yet ANOTHER another Trios title. Well guess what chump, that ship has sailed. I proved everything I could prove in the Trios division. There's nothing left for me to do there. As for you, you overrated FUCK, haven't you had enough of me? Whipped your ass with firewoman. Whipped your ass with Stank, Hell, I really didn't even need him there. I'm ten times the wrestler you'll ever be. You aren't in my league boy, Get to steppin, Bitch.
Chad: Screw it. I came here to talk to you man to man, but if you're going to act like a spoiled kid, then it won't do any good. So you won a couple matches. Big deal. If we were truly brothers, you'd drop this facade and deal with me like a man. But you won't. Which tells me you are a liar. And where I come from, there's nothing worse than a Liar.
~~~ Chad turns and walks away ~~~
~~~ Magical Time Shift ~~~
~~~ Chad walks into the Texpress Dressing Room ~~~
Zane: So?
Chad: You were right.
Zane: Sorry man. What's next?
Chad: Find Someone else.
Zane: It'll be alright partner.
Chad: I'm just annoyed. Time for some frustration release. Let's hit the gym.
Zane: After you.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:16:52 GMT -5
“You are apparently a funny man Mr. Attitude Adjuster. Indian Jokes. Made up words. Talking to cardboard.
Being Mr. Funny man won’t help you at all inside that ring this week. So bring your big mouth. Bring your gimmicks. The Chickenshit. The smarmy manager. Those gimmicks tend to run away rather than put up a fight. You should make the match last as long as possible. The longer the match, the more pain I can make you suffer. That will please me. If the match ends too quickly, I will become angry.
DO. NOT. MAKE. ME. ANGRY.
You think you know things about me? You know NOTHING. This idiot reporter, She knows NOTHING. The powers that be need to get this straight. My past should be left in the past. If people continue to fuck around with it, someone will pay. I don’t care if it’s that idiot reporter, the commissioner, random wrestlers, or the boss herself. SOMEONE WILL PAY FOR THIS INTRUSION! No more talk of Reno, tire irons, or anything else.
I will rip your head off Mr. Funny. Then I will destroy Chris Evans and become a champion. Why? Because being champion gives me even more opportunity to hurt people. To make them suffer. And THAT is all I want.“
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:17:57 GMT -5
<Firewoman walks into GM Selena’s office>
FW: You wanted to see m……..why are they here?
GMS: Fire, I think we may have a little problem, have a seat
<Fire sits, but is clearly not happy>
GMS: Now, I think you were saying something…..
Jake: My client……
FW: Your CLIENT?
Jake: Mrs. Quinn……errr Darling, I have put my time in the pen to good use. Despite my outward appearance and violent tendencies I am not a stupid man. Passed the bar exam and everything
<Fire rolls her eyes>
GMS: Please continue
Jake: My client feels as though he is being singled out and punished by a Commissioner that can hardly be called impartial
GMS: Mr. Walker, your client is one of the ruthless, sadistic and unapologetic men in wrestling. Would you like to see his disciplinary file?
JW: My client does not apologize for, nor try to hide, his past transgressions. The fact remains that, in this case, my client was attacked, from behind, and considering the profession and all that comes with it, largely unprovoked. Alexis Darling then attacked my client, from behind, possibly giving him a concussion, risking his profession and life.
FW: Your client attacked Alexis Darling in the gym
JW: My client did no such thing. My client confronted Alexis, and she came at him with a barbell. He diffused the situation, it was self defense.
FW: He threatened her with a SHARD of fucking GLASS!
JW: Which……he never actually used
FW: This is SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT! Really Moose? This is what you are now? Is this what He wants?
<Moose just sits back and doesn’t say a word, but has a very amused smirk on his face>
JW: This, I believe, is the root of the problem, Mrs. Al-Takiri, Firewoman’s temper, and inability to remain impartial, makes her job as Commissioner a complete conflict of interest. Others on the roster have mentioned it, and now, we are bringing this to your attention as well
<Selena doesn’t say anything but just looks at Fire>
FW: WHAT? I am doing my best Selena, I am TRYING to stay out of this, but HE <glaring at Moose> seems to want me involved
JW: Mrs. Quinn-Darling……the fact remains that you are married to Alexander Darling, Alexis Darling’s brother, you have admitted to having…….relations……with Alexis Darling, and you currently have a vendetta against your brother for his violent actions toward the Darling family, and for showing up at your Thanksgiving celebration. Now, I ask you, in light of that evidence, how is it that you feel you can POSSIBLY remain impartial in this situation?
<Fire just glares at Jake and Moose>
GMS: So, what is it going to be Mr. Walker, are you going to sue the OOWF too?
JW: No, we don’t feel the need for litigation at this time. We would just like the fine against Moose rescinded, and, the issue of Commissioner needs to be addressed……..soon
<everyone sits in silence for a moment, Fire is seething, Moose still has that smirk on his face. Finally GM Selena speaks>
GMS: I do not like the idea of undermining my Commissioner……
<Now Fire smirks>
GMS:…..however, I think in this case, perhaps the fine was more severe a punishment than it needed to be. I will say this, Moose, you are on thin ice, you step out of line even a little, and the next fine will not only stick, it will be doubled.
<Fire is not happy>
GMS: As for Fire’s position in the company, I am not making a decision on that right now.
<Everyone gets up to leave. Fire stops by the door and lets Jake pass. Moose is next, he is almost out the door when he stops and looks at Fire>
MHJ: Decisions have consequences Lisa. Trust me
<Moose laughs and walks out of the room and we fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:19:20 GMT -5
We come up outside a hospital room, where we see Victor Deniro and Spencer Darling sitting drinking cups of coffee from a vending machine.
Spencer: This stuff is crap.
DVD: Yeah, but it's not exactly like we are dealing with professional barista's here, it was from a machine after all.
Vic stops and looks around before sliding a flask from within his jacket, he pours some into his cup before motioning to Spencer. She nods and he pours some in her cup as well. Both take a deep sip.
Spencer: Better. How is Danny?
DVD: They have him sedated right now.
Spencer: They have him asleep? A week long coma was not enough time for him to be out for them.
DVD: It's not like that, he's putting on a brave face, but Moose did a number, and he is still in pretty bad pain. Not to mention the extra damage those New Guard Bastards add on to it.
Spencer: Don't even get me started on those jerks.
DVD: Yeah, I know. The worst part is, they don't even see the hypocrisy they display in their interactions with each other. Let's take a look at Folz and Sparxx.
Spencer: A pair of assholes if you ask me.
DVD: Maybe, but of everyone in the New Guard, Sparxx had the most legitimate claim of being not given opportunities, or being held back by "old guard" guys. Sparxx was here promoing, doing appearances, house shows, busting ass, even tho he was being mocked by the boys left and right, meanwhile Folz was given title shot after title shot while barely even showing up to the arena each week.
Spencer: Yeah, for a while there he talked less than Danny.
Both chuckle slightly at this.
DVD: Then when GFY and Unforgiven started working opposite each other, Sparxx rose up and became an MVP working with Moreland, meanwhile Folz had DH and Darling busting their asses to help him step up, and he did nothing with it. Hell he tried to make a big splash by hooking up with Eric, only to go MIA again and then fall back into his "mercenary ways" safety net.
Spencer: Yeah, he sure seems like he is being held back by the old guys to me.
DVD: Then when (Vic does air quotes) Sparxx was attacked by Ket, was it Folz or Evans who came to back him up. Nope, it was us, and we did it expecting nothing in return, simply because Danny thought it was the right thing to do. Now Sparxx throws his lot in with a group of guys who spend most of their time openly mocking him.
Spencer: Yeah, I imagine that will hurt Danny more than any of the physical injuries.
DVD: Yeah, I just don't get it. Of all the guys on the roster, why target Danny, he would have gone to bat for any of these guys.
Spencer: They don't care, all they care about is themselves. Hell we don't even really need to fight against them, we wait long enough and they will turn on each other.
DVD: Maybe. (a super serious look gets on his face) But after what they've done, they are not getting off that easy.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:19:57 GMT -5
Rabbit Mask is in his locker room, his wife is in the shower. He's sitting with his mask off, his face in his hands.
RM: Let me get this straight. Myself and the angry Indian, Ricky's Soaring Ego, were signed at the same time. A few weeks ago, I was the sole victor in a five on five elimination match. Not only that, but I came back from a three on one disadvantage to win. Three monsters against myself. And who did I pin to win the match? Ricky. The next week, I face the Onslaught Champion, J-P Sparxx. And we wrestle the best match of the night, to a thirty minute time limit. What did Ricky do that night? He lost another match because he can not contain his anger. He tells others not to make him angry, but that's a little difficult when anger is the only emotion the man knows... Anyway, the following week, Ricky loses in the opening match, a match which Justin Sane of all people ended up winning, and not a single fuck was given by anyone. Later on that night, I help lead the team of Firewoman and myself to a victory over Attitude Adjuster and Eric O'Mac in spectacular fashion. And the crowd goes wild. Now, after all that, we get to this week. Ricky, the man who constantly forfeits matches because he can't resist physically harming others, has a chance to become the Intercontinental Champion. Meanwhile, I'm in yet another multi-person match with nothing on the line. Tagging yet again with Firewoman, because we all know that nothing's better than One Night Only reunions than ten of them in a row. And I mean no disrespect to Firewoman, as she is one of the few in this company whom I both know well and have an immense amount of respect for. And with us, the Darlings. An accomplished duo, one I'm not unfamiliar with. I have nothing against my partners going into this match. My only issue is that I'm not being given the opportunities I've been proving myself worthy of. The same reason I left last time, and it's looking to be starting up again. I'll keep going out there, putting my body in harm's way, winning matches, but if I'm not granted the opportunities I know I should be, I'll eventually have to start taking those opportunities myself. And I really don't want to have to do that...
He slips his mask back on, raises his head from his hands, and stares into the camera as we fade.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:20:40 GMT -5
So this time I am fighting with 3 crazy Americans against 4 Crazier Americans. So Comrade Sharkoff knows one thing. He knows that No Crazy Americans will stop me from becoming greatest Russian Champion in wrestling history!
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:21:19 GMT -5
Moose does not, in fact, walk out of the door, as he is pulled back and thrown down into his chair before he can blink. He looks up to his sister's smiling face.
FW: Yes, John. Actions DO have consequences. Something Jake there should think about as well, if he thinks I don't see what he's doing.
Jake, who has been creeping up behind Fire, stops and looks to Moose. Moose gives him a sign to never mind, as Lucky comes in, with papers. He hands them to Selena, who looks them over.
FW: Selena, Moose is right. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about before we were so RUDELY interrupted. When I watched the ENTIRE tape of the incident, yeah, he was being an antagonistic douche, but he hadn't done anything physical. She approached him with the barbell.
MHJ: Ha!
GMtSa-T: OOooooh, yeah.....
FW: So....Lucky?
L: Right, according to the new directives handed down by the board last month, Moose should still be fined because he struck first, but due to the situation, his fine is only a thousand.
MHJ: That's ridiculous.
GMtSa-T: Tough toenails, uncle Moose. And you can blame those idiots in the New Guard for all these new rules.
L: Also, Mr. Winters here--
JW: Walker.
L: Uh huh....your credentials are in question. Have you passed the bar?
JW: I ... uh....
L: Neither the board nor the OAC has you listed as being eligible to be a manager, so really your presence here is not only not necessary, it's not allowed, either. So if you would like to be Mr. Quinn's manager, you need to get that straightened out.
Firewoman smirks.
L: Furthermore, and this did NOT come from the commissioner's office, the board would like Mr. Quinn here to kindly review his contract that he willingly signs every year, in which it says, and I quote, "Agrees to adhere to all rules and regulations set forth by the administration of OOWF....agrees to submit to medical evaluation as needed and follow the advice of doctors...."
MHJ: I didn't agree to that.
L: Mr. Quinn, is that your signature?
MHJ: ......
L: .....
MHJ: Yes.
L: Then you agreed.
MHJ: Well, big fucking deal.
GMtSa-T: Uncle Moose....it is a big deal....if you're in breach of contract...that means--
FW: I can fire your ass, is what it means.
MHJ: You wouldn't dare.
FW: *laughing* I don't HAVE TO. The board doesn't need me, they can fire you all on their own. And it's your own doing. Can't blame THIS one on the Darlings, or me, or Dad, or even HIM. It's kinda poetic really.
MHJ: Just like I thought....you've sold out to THEM, yet again.
FW: Whatever...Moose, I've stayed out of your way....let you go about your business, focused on my new life. It's YOU who can't just move on. You talk of consequences? Well there's your consequences Moose. What other wrestling company is going to hire you, at your age, and your level of sanity? The thing is? I would have gone to bat for you. I totally would have used my role as commissioner to argue for you, if you had even bothered to try to meet me half way. But you insisted on simultaneously cutting me out of your life and then drawing me into whatever psychotic delusions you're having. Now? Too bad, brother dear. You can't have it both ways.
You're on your own.
Fire gets up and leaves. Moose sits fuming. Jake appears to be fumbling through papers.
GMtSa-T: Gentlemen, can you please leave me and Uncle Moose alone?
Jake and Lucky leave.
GMtSa-T: Moosie...I don't know what's going on...I think deep down you know that we're right.
MHJ: We? Well, she's poisoned you too....
GMtSa-T: No, Moosie....even Omar is worried.....
MHJ: Fuck all of you.
Moose gets up and storms out.
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:22:20 GMT -5
<Moose stops at the door and turns and looks at Selena, then walks back to her desk and slams his fists onto it. Selena just stares at him>
Some job you're doing here Selena, letting Lisa do whatever the FUCK she wants. I get attacked and I get fined. Its clearly proven I didn't instigate it, but those stupid fuck Darlings instigated it, and I STILL get fined. I see how it is. And you agree with this bullshit? You are every bit as biased as Lisa. You can take your fine, and your tests and shove them up your ass. As long as you are going to sit back and not do a goddamn thing about it, then you are part of the fucking problem too.
As for Jake? The paperwork will be faxed to you by the evening. Just because Lucky is an incompetent hack who can't file paperwork doesn't mean everyone is.
You want violence little girl? You haven't seen anything yet
<Moose storms out of the office and slams the door, breaking the frame>
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:23:08 GMT -5
CUT to the New Guard suites where OOWF World Heavyweight Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton is watching the promos with his attaché Martha Rodriguez.
MR: “Quite the pickle Moose finds himself in.”
SF: “The problem as I see it is this. The New Guard holds all the meaningful gold around here and we’re relegated to a follow up story behind the Quinn-Darling escapades.”
MR: “Some would call that a result of poor promos on our part.”
SF: “And they’d be right. We’ve been too quiet. Hell, even when the Executioners attacked our opponents we were pretty quiet.”
MR: “Our leader is non-existent, Stan.”
SF: “Maybe it’s time I take over. I am World Champion. It’d be only right.”
MR: “Then you’ll have to bring it this week.”
SF: “I’ll get something ready.”
MR: “Oh, and Selena called us a bunch of idiots.”
SF: “I can't believe we're working in this shithole.”
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Dec 20, 2011 16:24:18 GMT -5
Selena walks into Fire's office, to do the promo they were going to do originally....
GMtSa-T: It's still Christmasy in here.
FW: Yeah, but I'm feeling a little less so. I think I have all my shopping done, and I was going to bake cookies.
GMtSa-T: Um...do we not have a ban on you doing anything related to a stove?
FW: Oh...right....
GMtSa-T: What are you doing?
FW: Oh, I need to get back to the Suites to finish decorating, and then--
Fire catches Ricky Soaring Eagle's promo on OOWF-TV's continuous loop
FW: Seriously? Look....*she looks in the INC* Normally I'm all for handling stuff face to face, but I just do not have the time right now. I don't give a blue fuck about your past, but I can tell you from experience that these things have a way of coming out anyway. I'm busy with other matters right now, but take a look through MY past and ask yourself if you really want to become the center of my attention. If not, then leave me out of your issues. I won't go looking unless you give me a reason to look. So don't give me a reason.
GMtSa-T: You look like you want to kill someone.
FW: Eh, it'll pass....it's getting better, ya know? I mean, a year ago, I would have put Moose and Jake through a wall and then gone off to hunt Ricky there. But now...what?
GMtSa-T: A year ago you were still ... dead. We were starting to plan your memorial.
FW: Yeah...great...thanks for the reminder.
GMtSa-T: Sorry...you know....maybe you and Alex should go do something.
FW: Huh?
GMtSa-T: To get your mind off of the ... anniversary. Go on a date.
An odd look comes over Fire's face. She simultaneously looks sad enough to burst into tears and angry enough to throw Selena through a wall.
GMtSa-T: What?
FW: I don't....he doesn't need to....look, I know you're kinda naive in a lot of ways, but I haven't dated since I ran away from Mom's house.
GMtSa-T: Huh? Weren't you kinda young?
FW: Yeah, that's the point.
GMtSa-T: Wait.....no, that's not....that's what you think dating is?
FW: Yeah, mom would go on dates, and then sometimes I would and...what?
GMtSa-T: Okay first of all, iew....who would make their kid do that?
FW: Well, she said we needed the money for food....and stuff.....
GMtSa-T: No no no. That was not a date. A date is when a dude takes a girl out for like food and stuff, or movies, just to kinda spend time and hang out and get to know her. Haven't you ever done that?
FW: *thinks a lot* I....don't think so.
GMtSa-T: C'mon...you go out with people all the time.
FW: We go to bars, get drunk, and sometimes have sex.
GMtSa-T: That's not dating, that's just....I don't even know what that is. No one ever said "Hey, let's go get dinner?" Not Chad?
FW: No...we were busy being awesome in RunDEA.
GMtSa-T: Seriously? Even when you were with Jericho?
FW: We'd go to restaurants and eat.
GMtSa-T: Dude...that's a date.
FW: I thought we were just hungry. He didn't ask, we'd just stop while we were driving to shows or something. That doesn't sound like a date.
GMtSa-T: No....well, maybe.....look, you need to have an official first date, and I! I will help you! It'll be my Christmas present to you.
FW: No...please, no.
GMtSa-T: It'll be fine. MORE than fine! It'll be AWESOME! Find something nice to wear. Not your usual jeans and leather, but not like your sequined dress for the awards show. Kinda in between. Jeans are nice and casual, if you have them without rips or lacing, and then a nice shirt, but nothing too revealing, you don't want him to get the wrong idea.
FW: I don't? Selena, we've been married for a year, I don't think this is necessary.
GMtSa-T: It totally is. Look, I'll handle everything. I'll call Alexander and tell him to ask you--
FW: Wait, what? Why can't I just ask him.
GMtSa-T: Because that's not how it's DONE! Geez, and you call ME naive....the boy has to ask the girl, the girl spends ridiculous amounts of time getting ready, the boy pays for EVERYTHING, and then he gets a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night.
FW: .............
GMtSa-T: What?
FW: It would take me an entire week to explain to you EVERYTHING wrong with that.
GMtSa-T: Whatever...you have the rest of the week off unless there is an emergency. Go get a mani-pedi NOT from the folks in make up. A real one. And hair...fix that.
FW: What's wrong with it.
GMtSa-T: Fire...this is your first date EVER. There's nothing wrong with it, but it has to be special.
FW: Fine...whatever...but if you need me.
GMtSa-T: I won't...but I know where to find you if I do. Now SHOO!
Firewoman rolls her eyes and leaves her office.
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