OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (01/25) Live! From RFK Memoria

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From RFK Memorial Stadium, Washington DC

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Stan Fulton vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle

Onslaught Rules Match[/u]
Firechild vs. Rabbit Mask vs. Honcho Williams

Phoenix Rising vs. The Saints of Sinners
LD Williams, Davin Moreland & Stank vs. The Flyin Hawaiians & JP Sparxx
Matt Folz & Chris Evans vs. El Lobo Sangriento & Danny Taylor
Chad Madison vs. Ghosthead
Zane Myers vs. Attitude Adjuster
Psykle vs. Mai Muyo
Comrade Sharkoff vs. Outback Jack


card subject to conflict with Washington Redskins home playoff game.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

[BookerShark]

In the Darling Luxury Suites, Fire and Alex are a bloody mess. And not happy. And loud.

FW: I don't care, I said to stay out of it.

AD: Really. Stay out of a three-on-one.

FW: It wasn't a three-on-one, Moose and Eco were just at ring side.

AD: You probably couldn't see them, what with being all tangled up in the Tree of Woe like that, but they were getting ready to get in to the ring.

FW: I've gotten out of that before....and besides, you didn't step between me and them, you stepped between ME AND THE LEGAL MAN IN THE RING!!

AD: HE WAS GETTING READY TO--

FW: STOP! Just....stop. You can't--

AD: Yeah, I can. Because it was so much fun watching Eric and the Chickenshit Heels beat you down while I was handcuffed to the ring, and it was so much fun watching Tytan, and it was soo great to watch Moose take out Alexis....NOT AGAIN, LISA!

Fire starts to answer something probably very angry that she might not be able to take back, when Lucky chooses that moment to intervene.

L: Line up for next week.

He hands a copy to each of them, giving them a much needed breather.

FW: Oh for fuck's sake...we're not on it!!!

AD: Huh?

FW: Selena must have forgotten, or else she's fucking with us for you messing with my match and--

AD: I'm ignoring that. Fire, we ARE on the card.

FW: Not on mine.

AD: Fire.....

Alexander points to their tag team name on her paper.

FW: Oh...."Phoenix Rising"....That IS us.

AD: Yes, it is.

FW: .......

AD: You see who it's against...

FW: Yeah......

AD: You fine with that?

FW: Yeah.... I'm hitting the shower.

Fire kind of storms out.

AD: She's not fine with it.

L: Nope.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

Ricky Soaring Eagle is walking through Rics Sandwich Store. He sees Stan Fulton sitting enjoying a sub. He walks up and without a word, takes Fultons sandwich and tosses it on the floor. Fulton starts to stand up, but before he can, Ricky swings and nails him on the top of the head with … a tire iron. Fulton collapses to the floor. Eagle squats down beside him and talks while Fulton comes to.

“I figure I have about a minute before your allies come and get their revenge. This wasn’t personal, just geographic. This week you and I will share some real estate. Unfortunately for you, that real estate is in the ring. Normally, I’d say that I don’t care about your title, but I do. Being champion gives me free range to inflict as much pain on people as I please. So I want it. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you suffer enough to lose it.

Some people around here seem to think they can mentor me, change me, make me a better man. All that talk does is piss me the fuck off. Others want to play mind games with me, to manipulate me into doing their bidding for them. That pisses me the fuck off even more. When I get pissed the fuck off, people get hurt. Badly. So this is what awaits you come Wednesday. You will be in the ring with me, and I will make you hurt. I will make you suffer. I will make you FEEL. MY. PAIN.”

Eagle stands and gets to the door when Jp walks in. He takes about 2 seconds to size up what happened, and begins to fight with Ricky. They exchange blows , with Ricky starting to overpower the smaller man, when from behind a metal chair BLASTS Ricky in the head. Matt Folz stands there with holding a chair. Ricky hits the floor and Folz and Sparx begin to kick and stomp on Ricky. As the blood flows from his mouth, the camera zooms in on Ricky’s face, as he lies on the tile floor, losing consciousness. Is that the hint of a smile we see before the scene fades to black?

[BookerShark]

*Darling Locker Room*

The room is pretty quiet except for a low volume coming from the television set as Fire watches video of recent Saints of Sinners matches. She has to stop from time to time to take a deep breath but then shakes her head and refocuses on the screen. Alexander is nowhere to be found at the moment and Lucky is off doing some of the stuff that Alexis would normally handle from town to town as well as his own stuff. After a few more moments, there's a soft knock at the door. Fire gets up and walks over to the door and slowly opens it since this is the OOWF and all.

Fire: Oh hey Spence...Alex isn't...

Spencer: I'm not here for him. We still aren't on the best of terms.

Fire: Then is there something Alexis needs...

Spencer: Kinda.

Fire: Well her stuff is still...

Spencer: Nothing like that. Can we sit and talk?

Fire: You wanna talk to me?

Spencer: Why do you seem surprised?

Fire: You don't like me.

Spencer: WHAT?

Fire: After what happened...

Spencer: Look, I didn't like you...even almost hated you.

Fire: See.

Spencer: But that was then. I've seen you try and change just like I watched my brother change. People deserve second, sometimes third and fourth chances but they aren't just given away. They have to be earned. You've earned this chance Fire.

Fire: Then why haven't you forgiven Alex?

Spencer: Because he hasn't earned this chance yet. He's walking down a dark path and based on what I'm seeing from both of you...I'm worried Fire. I'm normally a very quiet person. People kinda forget I exist sometimes but it allows me to see and observe things no one else can.

Fire: And what are you observing?

Spencer: You're not ready for this week and my brother is too focused on the supposed goal to realize it. I can't get to him right now because he's so stubborn and he believes he is right. And maybe he is, but if he continues...I'm going to lose my brother.

Fire: What do you mean I'm not...

Spencer: Fire, I'm not stupid or blind. You're as strong as they come and even you have demons that aren't just going to wake up one day and they'll be gone. I know how hard this match is going to be for you and I'm not going to be stupid enough to ask you to walk away. One, I know you never would and two, I can't let Alex do this alone. Alexis would kill me if something happened to him.

Fire: So what are you asking?

Spencer: Take care of him. Save him from going too far before it's too late and if you do that, I promise you he'll be there to help you overcome your demons. And not just him, but all of us. But if he's gone...I get the feeling we'll all be lost and nothing will save any of us.

Fire: Spencer, I...I mean, I'll try but I'm not sure what I can do.

Spencer: When the time comes, you will. Until then, stay strong enough for the both of you. He'll handle the other stuff for now. Just make sure he doesn't fall down the hole.

Before anything else can be said, Lucky comes into the room and without noticing Spencer quickly slinks off and heads back to the Destroyitorium.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

The scene comes up in the Destroyatorium, and it looks as if a Tornado has come through. Almost all the tables are overturned, bottles are strewn everywhere, light fixtures hang by wires, and is that Sharkovs foot in the television? Signs of life are barely visible, Rabbit Mask appears to be throwing up in a corner as Ashley consoles him, OBJ is face down in a pile on the bar top, Justin Sane is curled in the fetal position on a pool table surrounded by Shotglass, Opus and Humphrey, and is that DVD stuffed in Shotglasses doghouse? Is this the aftermath of a New Guard attack, or merely the results of an epic party that someone was not invited to......

Lobo: I already told you, I did not plan the party, if I did you would have been invited.

The camera zooms back to one of the only upright tables left in the bar, where we see El Lob and DDT sitting enjoying a hair of the dog. Danny is looking around for whomever Lobo is talking to.

Lobo: (pointing up) Voiceover Guy.

Danny just puts on a polite smile and nods slowly. Lobo then holds up the match up sheet for this week.

Lobo: It looks like this week the New Guard is sending Evans and Folz to face D&D current.

Danny genuinely smiles at that particular nickname.

Lobo: I know you want to get your hands on Evans, so I will do my best to keep Folz occupied.

Danny frowns and shakes his head no. He makes the sign language symbols for C and E, then taps on his head and frowns. He then points at Lobo then himself, and finally at the piece of paper between them.

Lobo: I understand, you have been letting Evans get in your head, but we need to be on the same page to defeat the New Guard.

Danny smiles and nods again in agreement.

Lobo: Well, this week at Mayhem lets show them what happens when you mix Nitroglycerin and Dynamite.

Danny smiles wider, and both men pick up darts and toss them at a nearby board were all the members of the new guards photos are stapled. The darts land directly on the faces of Chris Evans and Matt Folz. Both Lobo and Danny stare directly into the INC.

Lobo: Wolfpac Out!

Danny mouths the word Boom, and we

FADE

[BookerShark]

<Moose and Eco are in the back, sitting in the locker room. Moose is looking down, picking at Happy Deth Bat, Eco sits in across from him, just looking blankly into space>

This week, we start down the Road of No Return. The Saints of Sinners get Phoenix Rising, Alex and Lisa Darling. No gimmicks, no threats, just promises. Lisa, Alex, I am not underrating either of you, I know what both of you can do, and I know that right now, you two are like cornered animals, and you know what happens to an animal when it gets cornered, it lashes out blindly in self defense. It becomes primal, it fights for its very life.

Make no mistake this was not an accident. This is exactly where Eco and I want the both of you. We want you angry, we want you fighting for your very life, we want you to lash out with everything you have. We know we will bleed. He has assured us of that. We know we will hurt. He has assured us of that. We know we will lose a match here and there. He has assured us if that as well. There is one more thing He has assured us of…….in the end……we will win. Face it Alex, Lisa….for all your bravado, for all your talk, are you really willing to go all the way down this road? If you are…….prove it. Because if you do……..even if you win, you lose.

<Moose just sits back and laughs>

Eco: So New Guard, Soaring Eagle and anyone else that wants to cross our paths, you are all on the back burner. We are not concerned with you right now, revenge against you will come later. Right now, all that matters is destroying Phoenix Rising. When we are done with you, you will never rise again.

MHJ: Trust me

[BookerShark]

Davin Moreland is WHISTLING~ as he walks down the Hall of Random Encounters. He turns a corner and sees Kai and Aina blocking the hallway. Aina is holding a sledgehammer in his hands and seems to be studying it.

DM: Oh, hell, fuck me.

Kai: Davin Moreland. Three time three time three time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. The Man. Boston Cream Pie Eatin' Man.

DM: Look. Guys. I don't have time for your crap. I gotta get these Pampers to Sam and Mickie before Sam kicks my ass more than either of you will, so if you wanna dance? Fine, we'll dance.

Davin drops the bags he was carrying and prepares for a two on one fight.

Kai: No, no, no. Davin Moreland. The Kai and his brother aren't monsters. The Kai has no interest in sending you to your wife, broken and ashamed. There would be no shame in getting your haole ass whooped by the Lava Bull and his bruddah, but no. The Kai will not beat your haole ass. The Kai will allow you to go home to your smokin' hot wife and your cute little baby girl.

DM: You'll allow me?

Kai: You're welcome.

Aina steps forward. He presses the end of the sledge into Davin's chest. Davin considers slapping it away, but decides not to.

Aina: All we want. Is a little god damned respect. Remember who you have to face this week. I could use this sledge and beat you to a bloody pulp, but I won't. Our teammate in the New Guard. J-P Sparxx. He wants you to himself. So, beat it. Has been.

Davin slowly moves the sledge from his chest and gets eye to eye with Aina.

DM: Let's get one thing perfectly clear. You don't allow me to do anything. And if you think I'm a has-been, well you're sadly mistaken. And as for J-P Sparxx? My former protege? Well, he'll find out how much of a has-been I really am. Now, if you boys will excuse me, I have two girls waiting for me.

Davin pushes his way past the Flyin' Hawai'ians as they watch him leave.

Kai: The Kai is starting to rethink our decision to not sledge his hoale has been ass.

Aina holds the sledge up in front of him and stares at it.

Aina: Davin is not giving 100% lately. Nor will he this week. If we want to get some attention, he's not the one to go after.

Kai: Fine, but the Kai wants to lay the smackdown on some overrated Old Guard hoale ass!

Aina: I get it. They're haoles.

Kai: The Kai! Forget it, let's go, bruddah.

[BookerShark]

Attitutde Adjuster and OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Champion Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline are in front of the OOWF banner. Oh, and that guy Honcho Williams is with them, too. And in the far background in CC Scott, but he’s hard to see behind the OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Championship belt slung over Cowboy Johnny’s shoulder.

AA: This week, Honcho Williams, my protégé, strays out on his own for his first-ever singles match against Firechild and Rabbit Mask. So Honcho, we’re also going to let you do your first ever solo promo!

HW: I’m pretty sure I wrestled singles matches before. And cut promos.

AA: Sure you have. I use to have dreams like that, too, until I became part of the #1 PROMO IN THE OOWF! Tell ’em, Johnny!

CCS (from behind Johnny): He really did have a career before he met you.

AA: Will you stop stepping on Johnny’s lines? If you’re going to be part of the entourage, you have to create a catchphrase and know when to sneak it in.

Ron Simmons: DAMN!

AA: Like that.

CCS: Where did he come from?

AA: IS that going to be your catchphrase? I hope not, because that sucks.

CCS: That’s not my catchphrase!

AA: Good, because I can’t have you hanging around with a catchphrase that poor.

CCS: I’m not part of your entourage! I’m the manager of Honcho Williams! And I’ve had about enough…

Meanwhile, while AA and CC Scott argue, Firechild and Rabbit Mask both jump Honcho Williams (because frankly I don’t know who’s a face or a heel in this mess anymore). A three-way brawl breaks out, and at one point OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Champion Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline is knocked to the ground. Rabbit Mask lands a hard right hand to the jaw of Honcho, who falls on top of Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline. A ref counts to three! Your new OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Champion…HONCHO WILLIAMS!

The ref grabs the OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Championship belt and CLOBBERS HONCHO WILLIAMS! The ref counts his own pinfall! Your new OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Champion…The Ref Who Counts the OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Pinfalls!

AA (looking over from his argument with CC Scott): Well, that’s a new one.

The Ref Who Counts the OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Pinfalls raises the belt over his head to celebrate. At that precise moment, Justin Sane runs through the set with a blindfold over his eyes and crashes into The Ref Who Counts the OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Pinfalls and Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline. Cowboy Johnny falls on top of The Ref Who Counts the OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Pinfalls. A new Ref Who Counts the OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Pinfalls arrives and counts the pinfall. Your new OOWF DDT Heavy Metal Iron Man Champion… Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline!

AA: And that’s how you cut a promo.

CCS: Where did they come from?

AA: Not bad. Maybe that catchphrase has a life.

[BookerShark]

*Davin laughs toward the INC as he watches the Hawai'ians on OOWF TV*

DM: Are you serious, brah? You come literally whining and crying to me looking for respect? Fuck you. Win the match. Sparxx can't carry you forever. "You owe us respect". No. I owe you a fucking beating for stealing my Rock knockoff persona. When was the last time either of you did anything original? Or interesting? Or noteworthy? Sure, you had a series with Texpress, but that was like watching Vanilla Ice Cream vs. Vanilla Frozen Yogurt.

DM: Bo-ring.

DM: You want respect? Beat 3 Hall of Famers in a match this week. Do it straight up. Don't leave it all up to Sparxx to carry you. I know he's the only talent in the New Guard, and that's tempting to coast while he does all the work. I KNOW what J-P can do. And despite his decisions and words in my direction - he HAS my respect.

DM: You don't.

DM: So don't come crying to me about giving you respect. Don't step your midget asses to me and act like little tough guys, k? You want respect? Get in the ring. Prove it. Beat a Hall of Famer. One of you two, not Sparxx.

DM: Until that time, Go Fuck Yourself. You're not worthy of my respect. As far as I'm concerned, you've been nothing, done nothing, won nothing and are worth absolutely nothing to me.

DM: See, and here's the reason I even responded to this nonsense...you two are representative of the New Guard. "Waaah, give us respect...GIVE IT! NOW! WE DESERVE IT! WAAAAAHHH!" I think I'm-a start calling you the Flacco Faction. "Waah, we just win, not that YOU care."

DM: Hey Kai, take that passive-aggressive bullshit, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your pineapple-eatin' ass!

DM: That, son, is how you rip off The Rock.

DM: Anyway, in case you didn't notice, I just pinned the New Guard's World Champion...again. In fact, whenever Davin goes up against the New Guard, Davin always seems to get the pin, doesn't he? I don't give 100%? Do you pay attention to matches in between your Luaus and Coconuts and Your Fat Women? No? Guess not.

DM: You come crying for respect before stepping in the ring with LD Williams, Stank and Davin Moreland. Put those three names in a hat - name the hat "Greatest of All-Time", take one out, and no one will argue with you. Put the Hawai'ians and Sparxx's name in the hat, name it "Oh yeah, I've heard of this guy", and unless you pull out Sparxx - everyone will argue with you.

DM: See you in the ring. As of right now? You can consider yourself "disrespected". Actually no, scratch that. Consider yourselves the "Who's Who" of "Who's That?" Yeah, that's more accurate. Cock a doodle doo, motherfuckers.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

We're in medical, where the docs are looking over Ricky Soaring Eagle after the beating he took from Sparxx and Folz of The New Guard. RSE is not very happy (surprise, surprise) and is trying to get the doctors to let him leave when a voice comes from behind him.

Voice: I told you your rage would get the best of you.

Before any one can stop it, Ricky jumps up from the table and goes to attack Psykle. Ricky though is a little slow from the beating he took, and Psykle was ready for him and quickly locks him in a Cobra Clutch and forces him back down into a chair.

Psykle: I'm not here to fight!

RSE: I am!

RSE continues to struggle, but Psykle seems to get the better of him, and Ricky realizes it's not going anywhere, so he finally relaxes and stops struggling. Psykle realizes it and let's go.

Psykle: I understand you came to the OOWF to fight, I meant I didn't come here to the medical bay to fight with you.

RSE: *grunt*

Psykle: Look, you've got talent, you've got strength, you've got size, not nearly as much as me, as I'm a foot taller than you, but I digress. What you're missing is control. Right now, the rage is all that consumes you. You need to find a reason besides the rage to be here. Something to ensure that when the rage runs out, and trust me, it will, you still have something more to motivate you. If all you are is your rage, you won't last here. You'll wind up just being "The President" with anger instead of stupidity. Find something to motivate you, I chose the Onslaught division and the quest for that title. Find something that you can try to achieve, and go after it, with, or without, the rage. Whatever you do though, don't let another person control you. If you look at the history here, you'll see it never ends well.

Ricky has not moved during Psykle's entire speech, barely even breathing, and mostly trying to ignore Psykle. Finally Ricky looks up at Psykle.

RSE: Is that all you have to say?

Psykle: For now. I really do want you to succeed, Ricky, but I can't let you go on your own without trying to help you. It's not how I was raised. I was taught that if you can help someone, you do. I feel I can help you, Ricky. Let me.

RSE: Now are you done?

Psykle: I guess so.

RSE: Good, then leave.

Psykle turns to leave the medical wing, as Ricky sits there, and we fade to black.

[BookerShark]

Fire is walking through the hallway apparently looking for someone.

Fire: Where the heck is everybody? It’s a freaking ghost town around here. No one’s promo’ing, means this guy’s gotta post two back-to-back…

Kayfabe appears in front of Fire.

Fire: I don’t care where you are Kayfabe, you don’t promo.

Fire walks past Kayfabe, who looks slightly dejected and sad. A clock somewhere in the distance begins to strike the hour.

BONG….BONG….

Fire: Seriously? No New Guard?

BONG….BONG….

Fire: No Texpress?

BONG….BONG….

Fire: No Davin?

BONG….BONG….

Fire: No Saints of Sinners?

BONG….BONG….

Fire: No Stank?

BONG….BONG….

Fire: Seriously, where the hell is everybody?

It’s just after midnight, and suddenly Psykle appears out of nowhere and grabs Fire in a HUGE BEAR HUG!

Fire: WHAT THE HELL?!? GET OFF ME!!!

Fire struggles and finally Psykle lets her go. She drops into a fighting stance and looks ready to take Psykle’s head off, when she notices that Psykle is smiling at her.

Psykle: Happy National Hug Day!

Fire: You son of a…what?

Psykle: Happy National Hug Day!

Fire: What the hell is National Hug Day?

Psykle: January 21st. Every year since 1986. It’s the late January Holiday.

Fire: SO THERE IS A LATE JANUARY HOLIDAY!

Psykle: Of course there is!

Fire runs up to Psykle and gives him a big hug.

Fire: Happy National Hug Day, Psykle! I’ve got to go get all the decorations up!

Fire heads off to start getting things together, hugging every person she sees on the way. Psykle stands and watches her walk off, when a voice comes from behind.

Voice: That was either very, very mean and manipulative or very, very sweet and kind.

Psykle turns around to see Mai Muyo standing there.

Psykle: Hi Mai. I just figured, she’s done so much for me, why not let her have another month of happiness and joy. It’s a real holiday too, some guy named Reverend Kevin Zaborney started it in Caro, Michigan, in 1986.

Mai: Well, then I guess that was sweet of you.

Psykle: I am a good guy, Mai. I just, well, lost my way for a bit.

Mai: That’s good. Don’t think it means I’ll go easy on you at Mayhem though.

Psykle: I wouldn’t even think of it. We’re competitors. I look forward to a nice, competitive and clean match with you. If you’re up for it, I’d even recommend we make it Onslaught Rules. It’s not like many of those matches are happening lately, what with Sparxx being the silent partner in the New Guard.

Mai: I’ll think about it.

Mai walks up to Psykle and gives him a hug, which Psykle returns.

Mai: Happy National Hug Day, big guy.

Psykle: Happy National Hug Day, small fry.

Fade to black.

[BookerShark]

An appropriately numbered female reporter, smoking hot and smoking pot, finds Rabbit Mask laying in the middle of a hallway backstage, semi-conscious. She nudges him with her foot and he begins to stir.

FR420: Hey, Rabbit guy... hey, wake up...

RM: What... where am I?

FR420: Hallway. I found you here to ask some questions.

RM: Holy fuck, my head is killing me.

FR420: Probably the concussions and cracked skull, you know?

RM: No, I think it was all the booze from last night. See, I finished up all the tests at the hospital and was released, so I rushed over here to wrestle Firechild, but all the medications they had me on were messing with me and I couldn't finish the match.

FR420: Yea, and the trainers carried you backstage. I think I remember that...

RM: Yea, they carried me backstage, and that's where my mind goes blank. Next thing I know, I'm in the Destroyatorium with a 40 in each hand and a 30 on my tongue. So I puked my brains out and went blank again. When I came to, I was in the middle of a fight or something. With Firechild and Honcho Williams. I don't know how it happened, but it was over just as quick and next thing I know, you're waking me up here, in some random hallway.

FR420: Trippy...

RM: Yea, no kidding.

FR420: Do you think you'll be good by Wednesday? For your match?

RM: Oh, yea. No doubt. Just dealing with some side-effects from all the medications. I'll be fine.

FR420: Here, this will help...

She passes what's left of her joint to him. He takes it, hits it, inhales it... and blacks out...

[BookerShark]

~~~ Once again, Texpress stands in front of the OOWF Interview Banner with a Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist ~~~

RNSFJ: So you have an interesting couple of weeks coming up.

Chad: We sure do darlin’. We had a tough match last week against Alex and the Hawaiians. As much fun as it was teaming with Lobo, things didn’t go our way.

Zane: Lobo, we’d love to get the Vengadores back together again one day, but right now, we’re focusing on what’s in front of us.

Chad: And that is Dance of Death. We’ve got another shot at the Campeonas in a 4-way match. Teaming with Lisa, we’ll be facing the Champions, Alexander Darling, Kai & Aina. Also in the match, Ghosthead and the Saints of Sinners, as well as Davin, Stank and LD.

Zane: There’s almost too many stories going on in this match to mention. US versus the Hawaiians. Ghosthead attacking us last week. Our history with Davin. With Stank. With LD. With Moose. But we’re focused on one thing. Putting the first dent in the armor of the New Guard. Kai, Aina, you’re odds in this match are very low. Very Low.

Chad: And that’s what matters most. Yeah, we want to win. We’ve been chasing those Campeonas for longer than anyone else in this company. We want to win. But we’ll settle for you losing.

RNSFJ: Fascinating. What about your matches this week?

Zane: I’m facing Attitude Adjuster. Capps has a long history with us from his days with The Heels. He’s found a resurrection of sorts teaming with Honcho. Williams I like. Capps, I do not. And if a certain DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champion gets involved, I’ve borrowed a little something from Lisa (Holds up her famous Zippo lighter. )

Chad: And I face Ghosthead. You might think you can play your mind games and psych me out. Not a chance. I’ve been to war with crazier, more sadistic people than you and walked away intact. Honestly, you’re an amateur. I’ve been to war with Poe, with Moose, with Your Brother and I’m still standing. So bring you’re 'A' game this week, because wrestling me is no night off. And if you’re not careful, you might get a second dose of the Aquafina Mist.

RNSFJ: You know that really didn’t hurt him, don’t you

Chad: Toots, it’s called tounge-in-cheek. The point is he can’t intimidate me.

RNSFJ: Oooooooh. Ok.

Chad: So, what time are you off? I’d love to tour our nation’s capital with you.

RNSFJ: I have one more interview to do, but I don’t see him…

Chad: Well then, I’d say he’s a no-show and you should come with me.

~~~ Just then, a voice from behind them calls out ~~~

So! You decide to not wait for the Comrade? Am I not good enough to be interviewed?

RNSFJ: Umm.. no, you weren’t here, so I…

You wanted to leave with this disgusting American! Go, I need you not to tell ALL of the O Double F that I will be defeating yet another of it’s favorite sons. Disgusting man who walks around belching all the time and thinks it’s a language. Comrade Sharkoff will drink vodka, be disgusting and say ‘That’s Russian for I WILL destroy you’

~~~ With that, Sharkoff storms off set. Chad shrugs, grabs the RNSFJ by the arm, and we fade…. ~~~

[BookerShark]

The Flyin' Hawai'ians and Noelani are WATCHING~ Davin Moreland's promo. Once it's finished, Noelani smacks Aina's arm.

Noe: See!?!?!

Kai: The Kai TOLD you the Kai was right! You're making the Kai agree with this spooge sucking piece of trailer trash!

Noe: Kai! Seriously!

Aina: Enough! Fine. You were both right. I should have caved in his chest.

Kai: Then that jabroni wouldn't be able to spew the stupid things that come from his mouth. Much like Noelani here.

Noelani pounces on kai, but Aina catches her and pulls her off.

Aina: Perhaps I still will. He doesn't want to show us respect? Fine. I was okay with showing him respect by not sending him home to his wife and baby broken in pieces. But he had to run his mouth. Like he always does.

Kai: What did Poe see in his piece of monkey trash? And to think, The Kai and his bruddah celebrated their first OOWF Tag Team Championship with him.

Noe: That was my bad. I thought it'd increase your profile.

Aina: This...

Aina holds up the sledgehammer.

Aina: ...is apparently what we need to improve our profile.

Kai and Aina smile at each other and head for the door.

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is SEATED~! in front of a video screen where she is having a Skype session with Dr. Freedman. The door is slightly ajar, and the INC is seeking to violate doctor/patient confidentiality by doing this.

Dr.SF: So, things going well.

FW: Yeah...totally. Sparkle, sparkle.

Dr.SF: I watched last week's match. Alex is being fairly protective lately.

FW: Yeah, well...I get it, you know. He's all about protecting his family and he's over compensating because Alexis is in the hospital, but he knows I can handle myself.

Dr.SF: In a three on one.

FW: ....well, okay, but it might not have been that way.

Dr.SF: How do you feel about being tag team partners, in an official tag team?

FW: I'm looking forward to it. Aries always wanted us to do that in ROH, and pitched the idea before we left, so--

Dr.SF: But then you'll be facing him later in the Trios match.

FW: Doc.....I know you still don't get all this competitive stuff, but it'll be fine. We can leave that all in the ring.

Dr.SF: Speaking of...who do you face this week?

FW: I love how you ask that like you don't already know.

Dr.SF: You caught me. So....against Ecosystem you've been....well, you've not held back.

FW: He's still breathing, so yes I have.

DR.SF: Well, what I mean is...you haven't frozen or any of the other stuff you were afraid of doing.

FW: Yeah...it's like...when I get in there, I just ignore him, but don't. I kind of shut off that part of the brain that worries about that stuff and just go for it.

Dr.SF: Lisa...that's that dissociating that we've talked about. You're not supposed to do that. The fact that you have done it for so long and still have a mostly intact personality it a miracle.

FW: Oh...but if I stop and think about who he is and what he did, and what I'm still dealing with I can't do my job. Because when I'm not in the ring....I do everything I can to make sure I don't even cross paths with him in the hallway.

Dr.SF: Still?

FW: Yeah....

Dr.SF: Well, it hasn't been that long, so don't be discouraged...but, I think I should come to the next few shows. I want to monitor this in-ring v. outside-of-ring issue with Junichiro closely.

FW: Fine, whatever. I'll see that you get tickets.

Dr.SF: What about Moose.

FW: What about him?

Dr.SF: He's your brother.

FW: Not according to him. So it's just another opponent.

Dr.SF: A very committed to doing serious harm to everyone with the last name Darling. Doesn't that have you concerned?

FW: *smirking* I've known him my entire life. I know him better than anyone else here, and I know who "He" is. I'm not worried. *batistalaughs*

Dr.SF: Okay...well, I will be there by Tuesday. In the meantime.

FW: I know, take my meds, try to get enough sleep, keep up with the cognitive exercises....it's so tiring....

Dr.SF: I know...but you're doing very well. Keep up the good work. And no, I don't know all this competition stuff, but it wouldn't hurt to let Alex know you're still having problems with Muyo.

FW: Well, he's got his own stuff--

Dr.SF: Fire...that's not part of the deal we all agreed on....

FW: Fine...I will.

Dr.SF: Okay. See you Tuesday.

The screen goes blank. Fire sighs, and leaves the room. The INC pulls back to the other side of the main room before she sees them. Alexander walks into the room from somewhere else.

AD: Hey. Good session?

FW: What? Oh, yeah...I'm doing well.

AD: Anything you need to share with me?

FW: Huh? Uh....no. Dr. Freedman is coming this week, just to check in though.

AD: Ah, okay. Ready to go train, partner?

FW: Yeah, sounds great.

Alex offers his arm. Fire looks at him like he's crazy, and then playfully shoves his shoulder away, as they both walk out the door.

[BookerShark]

*fade-in to Chris Evans who has finished watching Davin Moreland’s promo*

Evans: Now normally Davin, I wouldn’t bother even giving you the time of day unless you and I were facing each other. But since you went and started shit with Kai and Aina, you’ve got my attention.

I have no idea why the Hawaiians bother showing any respect for you, but hey, it’s their opinion and they’re entitled to it. I should thank you, though. After that little run-in, they now hate you almost as much as I hate your hypocritical ass. So you knock Kai for being a knockoff of The Rock? That’s pretty funny, considering that your claim to fame is being a cheap “Diamond” Dallas Page knockoff. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Evans, you’re nothing but a second-rate Chris Jericho.” Well that’s where you’re wrong. Everything I do with Jericho is out of pure respect and I use his name as a tribute. Everything about you on the other hand, the rib tape, the Diamond Cutter, the constant kissing-up to move ahead in the company, you don’t have a single original bone in your body. Hell, Kai may be doing a parody of The Rock, but at least he’s doing it well, and is copying a guaranteed Hall of Famer, unlike DDP, who, well lets face it, he’s never getting in.

And on top of that, you’ve been doing the same gimmick for the entire time you’ve been here, never once trying to improve upon yourself or freshen yourself up. Ist just the same old tired shit, over and over. Blah blah Davin Moreland blah blah 3-time World Champ blah blah Greatest of all-time and ad nauseam, emphasis on the nausea, cause your constant ass-kissing makes me sick.

Newsflash Davin: Nobody likes you around here, got that? NOBODY....likes you. Hell, everyone here hates our guts, but I guarantee you that if any of us faced you, the crowd momentum would turn against you quicker than the Packers D turned to shit against the Giants, no offense Folz.

So keep running your mouth, Davin, cause at the end of the day, we’ll still have all of the titles, we’ll still keep winning, and your mouth is gonna be the only thing that you’ll have to fall back on, since you know you’ve got no real allies around here. You’re like Matt Hardy, except with about half the talent, but with all of the burned bridges. We run this place now, we’re cleaning up this shithole, and there ain’t a damn thing that you can do about it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I feel like taking the rest of the New Guard and going out for a few drinks.

*Chris Evans picks up his Intercontinental Championship and a crowbar as we fade to black*

[BookerShark]

*fade-in to see the New Guard walking into the Destroyatorium, which for the time being is deserted*

Folz: So these guys really left this place open? Where the hell did they go?

Evans: Eh, some kind of charity meet-and-greet. Some kinda pandering bullshit like that, it’s beneath us quite honestly. We don’t need the fans, all we need is the New Guard.

Fulton: Hey, I’ll drink to that.

Jewel: Yo baby, why da hell we in dis place?

JP: Its all good, babe. We get some free drinks, den we bounce, ya feel me?

J: All night long, baby.

E: Yeah....so anyway, Drink & Destroy seemed to be so hospitable to leave their place open, it’d be a shame not to take advantage of it.

M: ...

E: Huh? Whats up?

M: I saw the crowbar, man. You broke us in here, didn’t you?

E: Oh how DARE you accuse me of such a...heh, okay, yeah I did. So lets have some fun, shall we? Hell, we’ll even let the cameraguy have a few drinks.

MF: Really?

CE: Heh, no.

*Evans superkicks the ninjacam, which then fades out*

*a few hours pass, and another ninjacam fades back in to see the New Guard sitting back having a some drinks. Sparxx drinking a Hennessey on the rocks, Evans a Guinness, Fulton a Boilermaker, and Folz with a Ginger Ale*

MF: “You know, I never knew Drink and Destroy could be such great guys.

CE: What are you talking about>? We hate them, man.

MF: Yeah, I know that, Chris. I meant with them oh-so-graciously allowing us to stop by and have a few drinks. And you kow what? After providing us with such a good time, we really should leave them a token of our utmost appreciation.”

CE: ”You know what, Matt? You’re absolutely right.”

Evans picks up the crowbar that he left on the floor.

“Let’s do that right now, shall we?”

JP: ‘Hey man, save da Hennessey, ya feel me?”

CE: “You think we’;re actually gonna smash the good stuff, Sparxx? No way, we’re stealing that shit for ourselves. Now let’s get to work, boys.”

The New Guard grab table legs, chairs, and whatever else they can grab and start wreaking havoc on the Destroyatorium, smashing tables, bottles of cheap beer and liquors, ad several other objects, including a framed autographed 12x15 photograph of Danny Taylor and San Francisco 49ers Quarterback Alex Smith.

*Amidst all of the chaos, TotallyNotGhosthead'sWifeShannon the Barmaid runs in to see what is happening to her bar and as can be expected, is in a really pissed off mood. Shannon grabs a nearby bottle, breaks off the botton end, and charges towards the group. Jewel sees her charging and tackles Shannon to the ground. Shannon is not a pushover and is able to put up a good fight, but Jewel’s not one to play fair, and rakes Shannon's eyes with her nails, followed by smashing a bottle over Shannon’s head*

J: Jewel Washington ain’t nuthin ta fuck wit. Ya feel me, bitch?

E: Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s out cold, Jewel.

J: Ah, she can hear me. Now lets tie dis bitch up, grab dis shit, and bolt.

CE: Yeah, let’s get outta here. Knowing that this is an Old Guard establishment is starting to piss me off, anyway

*The New Guard take care of TotallyNotGhosthead'sWifeShannon, and then start to walk out, Evans being the last to leave*

CE: Hold on guys, I forgot to leave a tip.

Evans writes on a piece of paper, folds it so that the writing is facing away from the jar. On the piece of paper is a simple message, “Don’t fuck with the New Guard.”

*fade to black*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman and Alexander are done working out and walking down the Hallway of...oh, just the hallway.

FW: I'm sorry, I didn't expect that one hold.

AD: It's okay, we'll get it worked out...I think all we need to do is keep our eye contact.

FW: Yeah, but that sometimes can telegraph what we're doing.

AD: Well, no, you don't like STARE at each other the whole time we...what's wrong?

FW: The door's open at the Destroyitarium.

AD: Huh?

Firewoman goes toward the door, with Alex following her, somewhat reluctantly. Fire cautiously walks in and surveys the scene. They both start looking around.

AD: Ashley!! Spencer!!

Shannon: I gave them the night off.

AD: I didn't even know you still worked here.

Firewoman goes to her, unties her, and helps her up. Once Alex is satisfied that Ashley and Spencer aren't there and are fine, he becomes disinterested.

FW: What happened?

Shannon: New Guard. I don't know what their problem is.

FW: Here, let me help you up.

Firewoman does, while Alex just kind of stands back, hands in his pockets. Fire checks out the scratches on her face, and the top of her head where she was hit.

Shannon: Ouch!

FW: Well, it's gonna hurt for a little bit, but I don't think you have a concussion or anything.

Shannon: How would you know?

FW: *smiling* I've been in more than a few bar fights. C'mon, let me help you back to your--

AD: Fire, she's okay, she doesn't need--

FW: *after getting ice from behind the bar in a towel* Here, Shannon, put this on it. I need to talk to my husband over here.

Fire grabs Alex by the arm and yanks him out of earshot.

FW: What the fuck?

AD: She's fine. Ash and Spence are fine. This is between D&D and the New Guard. Let's go.

FW: I just wanna make sure she gets back to her room okay.

AD: Are you forgetting who's likely to be in that room?

FW: No.

AD: ....

FW: Wait....okay, yes?

AD: Jared...Ghosthead.

FW: Big deal, he'll be glad I helped.

AD: Uh huh.

FW: Well, I'm still doing it.

AD: *kind of smiling* I figured.

FW: You don't have to come if you don't want to, but would you please just close the door and make sure it stays closed?

AD: Sure.

FW: Thank you.

Firewoman goes back to Shannon and the two of them leave the Destroyitarium. Alex looks around and then walks out. He tries to shut the door, but it won't stay. He shrugs and heads back to the Darling Suites.

[BookerShark]

Firechild is at the OOWF Official Interview Position

Randomly Numbered Sexy Female journalist: Firechild, last...

Firechild picks the microphone from her hand and gently ushers her offscreen...

Firechild: First, let me say I didn't enjoy last week. I have nothing but respect for Rabbit Mask and being asked to compete against someone who was in no condition to fight runs wrong with me these days, which is why I didn;t promo last week - no fun in adding insult to an injury inflicted by someone else. That said, Rabbit showed heart showing up like that, so credit to you, boy.

This week I check the match listing and see I've got another match with Rabbit, in a three-way Onslaught Rules match with Honcho Williams as the extra guy. That sounds pretty good with me. I pretty much invented the Onslaught division and being in with two competitors as sound as Rabbit and Honcho give me a great chance to show that I'm one of the top guys in this company once again.

However, I also look at the listing and see Ricky Foaming at the Mouth Endangered Avian getting a title match. Didnt I BEAT him two weeks ago? Haven't I made it clear that I want a title shot?

Now it's clear that the New Guard are running scared and trying to ignore me, but that's just insulting. Makes me think that criticising the bias of the bookers may be in order...

Anyway, let me make this perfectly clear. I want a shot at the Heavyweight title and if I have to wade through blood and tears to get it, then let it be so.

Honcho, Rabbit - you're both great competitors, but it's time the entrenched soap operas here in the OOWF were reminded that Firechild is back, he's motivated and he's starting to get pissed off. It's nothing personal, but I'm going to have to make an example out of somebody.

Everybody burns....

Firechild drops the microphone and exits stage left...

[BookerShark]

Matt Folz is walking down the hall with a lead pipe and drinking a Ginger Ale from the Destroyatarium. Suddenly, Mai Muyo tackles him from behind...with a hug. Folz spills his ginger ale and whips around.

Mai: Happy National Hug Day!

Folz: You have got to be kidding me.

Mai: Well...(shuffles foot)...I mean, it's one day late, and I guess I should have said belated, but otherwise, I just wanted to make sure I wished you a happy one!

Folz: ...Mai, do you know who I am?

Mai: You're Matt Folz, and we don't really like each other, and you tried to break my ankle last Wednesday and stuff.

Folz: Right. So, I'm not sure where the hugging--

Mai: Oh yeah! I wanted you to know I forgive you!

Folz: Excuse me?

Mai: Like sometimes people have fights, and sometimes people try to break each other's ankles, and then they just stay mad. So I wanted you to know I forgive you, and that I don't want anyone going after you on my behalf. Besides, you did me a favor!

Folz: I did?

Mai: Yeah! When you didn't let go, I got to win the match by referee reversal. Now, being injured is sort of part of the wrestling job, but winning isn't always! And so the winning part was cool, and the only downside is this pretty neat boot!

Mai gestures to her Cam Walker Boot.

Folz: Uh-huh. Well, it doesn't matter if anyone is going after me on your behalf, since the New Guard just tore up Drink and Destroy's little hangout. They'll probably want to go after us on those grounds.

Mai: Oh. Really?

Folz: Yeah. Jewel scratching up Shannon's pretty little face probably won't be winning us any friends either.

Mai: Oh. You guys went after Shannon too.

Folz: Hey, she charged us first.

Mai: Oh. (thinks for a second) I'm not sure I forgive you for doing that.

Folz: Why would I care if--

Mai SUPERKICKS Matt Folz in the face with her boot! He goes down, though she stumbles back grabbing her boot.

Mai: Ouchie ouchie ouchie. That was rash.

Suddenly, Chuckles the Clown shows up behind Mai. Mai spins around and gives him a hug.



Mai: Chuckles! I need a favor. (Mai reaches into her boot and pulls out some papers.) Can you deliver these to Selena regarding her job opening?

Chuckles: (taking papers) Juh.

Mai: And can you um...not mention the thing I just did where I just kicked Matt Folz in the face and such?

Chuckles: (thinks about it) Juh.

Mai: Thanks. I think.

Chuckles exits with paperwork, while Mai adjusts her boot as Matt Folz holds his head, beginning to get up.

Mai: You're okay and everything, right? Like, I was trying to make a point, and the boot's only plastic, so I didn't think it would hurt that bad--

Folz lunges at Mai, who quickly dodges out of the way. She reaches into her pockets, and when Folz turns around, she launches a fireball! Folz ducks, but of course, it's flash paper again. Folz gets up after dropping to the ground, but Mai appears to have slipped out one of the side doors.

FADE

[BookerShark]

**Local VFW Hall**

We join a show in progress and a local team is in the ring waiting for their opponents and the shocking music of "Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drum" by A Perfect Circle begins and the newly formed OOWF tag team of Phoenix Rising make their way out from the back to a big ovation here. Firewoman and Alexander Darling are in matching designed tights and we're going to see how they fare in one of their first matches as a full-time team.

The match is clipped to just highlights and we see some very Machine Gun-esque moves from the OOWF duo, but there's also some miscommunication at times and the chemistry seems a bit off as the local duo is giving everything they can back. We see stereo curbstomps from Phoenix Rising as well as Fire hitting the Fire Storm and Alex hitting a Crucifix Bomb, but then we see Fire going for a cover and being told by the ref she isn't the legal participant. Before she can get back on the same page as Alex, she's dropkicked out of the ring and Alex is quickly nailed with the local team's version of the Dudley Death Drop and at that point, the count is academic.

The local team celebrates as Alex and Fire head back to the dressing room and the camera find the locker room a few minutes later.

Alexander: Should I get the checkbook out?

Firewoman: No. But that sucked.

Alexander: It did, but I kinda expected it.

Firewoman: What?

Alexander: It was our first match and I knew in a normal environment, we'd have kinks to work out.

Firewoman: Normal environment?

Alexander: Yes. Simple tag match. It's why I'm not worried about this week's match either.

Firewoman: You're not???

Alexander: No. This week will be a battle and I don't have more faith in anyone than you to walk side by side with me into a battle.

Alex begins to pack away their gear...

Firewoman: *looking unsure*But...

Alexander: What? Did you say something?

Firewoman: Just to not forget my boots.

Alexander: Of course...are you sure that's it?

Firewoman: Yea, I'm sure. But we need to get back in the ring as soon as possible and continue to work this stuff out. If we're going to do this, we're going to do this right and become the best tag team we can be.

Alexander: Agreed 100%. I'll go get the car. That we drove in. Since we don't always take limos. *looks at the camera*

Fire quickly superkicks the door and we hear a thud from outside.

Fire & Alex HA!(tm)

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Ecosystem is sitting in his locker room, watching tape of Fire and Alex's recent tune-up match, playing and pausing while taking notes.

Eco: Use confusion during double-team moves and engage the non-legal participant...got it….now let’s watch the post-confusion curbstomps.

Mai Muyo walks up behind Eco and taps him on the shoulder.

Eco: (turning around) Oh hey. Didn’t hear you.

Mai: Saw your promo earlier with Jackie. I take it you’re not too happy with the Darlings? Shocker!

Eco: Damare. Mai, I don’t feel like engaging on this. (He takes out his medicine bottle.) I’m doing this to atone for what I did to you, remember? So long as I pacify myself and just do what Jack wants, I won’t be spending any time really destroying lives. I can protect you and everyone else from the sadistic desires that torment—

Mai slaps the bottle out of Eco’s hands.

Eco: Tawagoto!

Mai: Urusai, baka.

Eco: Don’t talk like that to me.

Mai: Don’t lie to me.

Eco: I’m not!

Mai: (kneeling by Eco) Junichiro…I know you have these desires, and I appreciate the medicine you’re taking. But you’re changing your story. First, you didn’t like Alexander for not appreciating you stepping in when Poe was taking advantage of him. Then you didn’t like him standing in your way during your attempts at takeover. Then, when you realized your takeover attempts were ill-advised, you went after him on Moose’s behalf. Then you turned it into a professional rivalry and jealousy of his legacy. Then you switched the excuse back to the meds and Moose just now.

Eco: …I can’t hate him for more than one thing?

Mai: No, I think you hate him for something else.

Eco: What else is there?

Mai: Did you have feelings for Lisa?

Eco: EXCUSE me?

Mai: It's a question, not an accusation.

Eco: Okay...look...(Eco looks around for cameras but doesn't see any)...you know that I don't...feel that way.

Mai: About women.

Eco: ...Yes.

Mai: That's not true. You did once.

Eco: For fuck's...look, everyone is somewhere along the Kinsey scale, okay? One person does not define my sexuality. And I don’t…I can’t believe you would…

Mai: Then what is it?

Eco: What I TOLD you it was! I’m channeling my violent urges in a small, concentrated—

Mai: Do you like it when she calls you Sensei?

Eco: (standing up) Zakennayo!

Mai: When she shows signs of nervousness about you?

Eco: We’re not discussing this. Get out.

Mai: Is it that she’s strong, Junichiro? Is it that, for all your mind games and bluster, you’re too often trapped twisting and shaping and striking fear into the minds of the weak? Tytan. Wrath. Tyler Vangarde. But someone comes along who is so obviously strong…and in time, she crumbles, follows you, in a moment of weakness both physical and mental…and then after it all, you lose her back to her true partner, her husband.

You were only trying to make her see the light, a better way to live, but she found a path that no longer needed your guidance. And it ate you up inside, maybe not because you loved her, but you realized more and more, day by day, as “Sensei” became a less frequent term, and she could kick you in the face without shivering, that you would never get her back, that the feeling you felt when you controlled someone so strong could never return…

…but you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. So you hated him.

Eco is silent.

Mai: ADMIT IT!

Eco slaps Mai. She stumbles, tripping over her boot and falling to the floor. Eco shakes his head and drops down to her.

Eco: I’m…did you twist it worse? I…

Mai: No. No, we’re done. Thank you for your time, brother.

Mai pushes him off, gets up and exits.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman and Alexander Darling are TRAINING~! trying to work out some of the kinks from their performance a few days ago. It's going moderately well. They run a few series with some local jobbers, and it seems the chemistry is there, no worries. They break and start over, and this time, well, it's hard to tell what the problem is. They attempt an "Aided Standing Sliced Bread," which they've hit a few times already, but this time...it's hard to tell if the jobber's foot is in the wrong place, if Fire is, if Alex is. It doesn't matter though because the jobber goes over awkwardly, potentially injuring Alex, and knocking Fire over backwards. The jobber gets to his feet slowly. Alex lays there counting the ceiling tiles for a bit, just trying to catch his breath but is otherwise fine. Fire is up on her feet like a shot, and lays into the jobber, shoving him hard with both hands across the ring and into the corner, following him and getting right in his face.

FW: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL SOMEBODY?

LJ: Sorry, Fire.

FW: SORRY?

AD: *getting to his feet* I'm fine, Fire, let's take five, okay? *stepping between her and the jobber* OKAY?

It is probably NOT okay, but Fire relents, rolls out of the ring and goes to punch something like a trashcan or a water fountain. Alex and Local Jobber roll out the other side of the ring. Alex grabs two bottles of water and hands one to the jobber, in a conciliatory gesture.

AD: Sorry..she gets adrenaline going and--

LJ: Naw, it's okay. I've helped her train before, I know how she gets.

AD: Well, it's no excuse, but...yeah. Okay,, lemme go see where her head is and maybe we can call it a day.

Local Jobber nods. Alex walks over ot the other side of the ring where Fire is busy brutalizing a tackle dummy.

AD: It'll come, Fire. We'll get it.

FW: I dunno....It's just....

AD: It's just a few kinks that need to be worked out. Remember when you and Alexis first tagged together?

FW: Yeah, but this is different, Alex....I mean, it's--

AD: It's not different. We'll get it together and I know you'll have my back, and I'll definitely have yours, and we'll take 'em out.

FW: Take 'em out?

AD: Exactly. That's why this will work...we might not be gelling in the ring quite yet, but like I said at the VFW, it's a battle and it's a battle we will win. No one fucks with my family and gets away with it. Now...are you ready to go again?

FW: Yeah.

Alex and Fire roll back into the ring, and Local Jobber not so discreetly crosses himself. Fire is looking at Alexander oddly, but shakes it off as she gets in the ring.

FW: Yo. Be out of position again and I'll curbstomp you onto broke glass, got it?

LJ: Yeah, I got it.

FADE

[BookerShark]

SFJ: So Lionheart, you and Matt Folz face two of the men whose locker room and bar you destroyed this week, El Lobo Sangriento and Danny Taylor. Your comments?

Evans: Yeah, I’ve got a comment alright. Something I’ve been wondering for a few days now. Where have they been? Seriously, where the fuck have those guys been, anyway? We break into the Destroyatorium, drink their alcohol, smash their things, Jewel even assaults their barmaid, and what do they do about it? Do they call us out on it? Hunt us down? Beat us down for what we’ve done to them? Bear in mind that Shannon wasn’t part of our attack, but she should’ve known better than to keep out of affairs that don’t concern her.

SFJ: You were destroying her bar.

E: Yeah, and? It’s called sending a message. And besides, we never laid a finger on her. Jewel had our backs on that one. And you blame us, yet she’s the one who charged at us with a fucking broken whiskey bottle. That was self-defense, pure and simple.

Wait, it just hit me. They have done something. Know what they have done? They’ve proven just how weak the Old Guard mentality truly is. We do all of this stuff, and they reply by doing absolutely nothing to us.

They claim that they’re gonna stop us, and then those guys can’t even respond to us doing that? I knew those guys were intimidated by us, but to not even make an attempt at it? They’re fucking pathetic, and show just how weak and how big a joke Drink & Destroy has become. But don’t worry about it, though. On Wednesday, Folz and I will take both Taylor and Lobo out, and then after that, we’ll take out that animated corpse, Outback Jack. Cause we’re cleaning up this shithole, and there ain’t a damn thing that they can do about it.

*fade to black*

[BookerShark]

The marvelous and now nice and toasty J-P Sparxx is kicking back with his girl Jewel and what remains of that bottle of Hennessey (thanks bro). J-P stretches out, wraps his arm around Jewel and lays back nice and content like.

J-PS: Ya know what baby?

Jewel: Wuzzat baby?

J-PS: I should prob'ly promo 'bout my match, right?

Jewel: Yeah, I'm sure people wantin' ta hear ya drop sum knowledge.

J-PS: A'ight.

J-P looks to the camera and seems as serious as he can while being sh*t faced.

J-PS: Wednesday. Mayhem. Gon' be epic yo!

Jewel: Baby, ya may wanna say a li'l mo dan dat.

J-PS: A'ight, I get serious.

J-P sits up and puts his hands out in front of him as if deep in thought. Which is hard to do when sh*t faced on Hennessey. Which I need to do more of.

J-PS: I gots da best tag team in da world today as ma partners. At least dey say dey are, and dey gots da belts ta prove it, so a'ight, they are, knowwhatI'msayin'. An' we facin' three giants in OOWF history. Let's start with my ol' man main Davin Moreland. Davs, ya gave me ma first big break in dis bizness wit GFY. I appreciate dawg. Mad love. But we don' both changed, bro. Me fo' da bettah. You fo' da worse. Da sad thing is, ya can't see it. Ya gone soft. Now, I don't wanna blame ya cute li'l baby or your still smokin' hot wife, but man, what's happened ta you? My boys were gon' beat yo ass but showed you mercy, knowwhatI'msayin'. Yet you act like you still da man 'round here and can beat anyone, any time, any numbers disadvantage. Ya can't bro. Least not dat I can see. It's sad, really. I still gots mad love for ya bro. And mad respect for who you USED ta be, knowwhatI'msayin'. But I can't follow yo lead no mo'. Dat's why I'm at where I'm at. Ya see, we in da New Guard, we da future. You da past, bro. Maybe havin' da family did make ya soft. Dat's why I ain't havin' no kids. Got that baby?

Jewel rolls her eyes.

Jewel: Yeah, I heard ya.

J-PS: Davs. Bro. If ya still got it. Please, dawg. Bring it. Show me what'cha got. I'm beggin' ya. Now, for dose other two. Stank. Heh, you were expectin' sum kinda trash talkin' nick weren't ya? Nah, it ain't worth it, son. Ain't no belts on da line. Ya know, you a shadow of ya former self too doe, knowwhatI'msayin'. Ya so busy fightin' da system an' shit. Ya fo'got what's important.

J-P starts to feel around the couch but can't seem to find what he's looking for.

J-PS: Where ma belt, baby?

Jewel: It's over der.

J-PS: Can ya get it fo' me?

Jewel: Git it yo damn self. Ya gon' need ta exercise since we ain't gon' be makin' no babies!

Jewel storms off to the bedroom and slams the door.

J-PS: Baby! C'mon baby, I was just kiddin'! Ya ruinin' ma bit!

J-P looks back to the camera.

J-PS: Anyway, Stank, ya should be focused on titles an' shit. Cuz if dat ain't why you here, ya wastin' ur time an' ev'ryone else's time, knowwhatI'msayin'. So, since I don't like dat, I'ma put the smackdown on yo ass like ma girl Jewel did to yo sister-in-law. Hear dat baby?! I just sang yo praises!

Jewel comes out and sits back down beside J-P.

Jewel: I did whack dat bitch good, didn' I?

J-PS: You sho' did.

J-P and Jewel laugh and kiss.

Jewel: You forgot someone.

J-PS: Oh, yeah, ol' Learnin' Disability Williams. I just plain on don't like you, son. Mo like Kyle Williams. You gon' be droppin' da ball like him, knowwhatI'msayin'? I'ma vote yo punk ass of Jabroni Island (thanks bro). In other words. Ya suck. Ya feel me?

Jewel: I feel ya baby.

J-PS: Ya wanna practice dat baby makin'?

Jewel: Practice?

J-PS: Baby, we talkin' 'bout PRACTICE! Ain't makin' no baby fo' real. Not yet anyway, knowwhatI'msayin'?

Jewel: I ain't 'bout ta be no baby mama. I ain't losin' dis booty.

J-PS: I do love dat booty.

Jewel: Lose the camera.

J-PS: Get out camera bitch!

The cameraman leaves before J-P hurts them.