OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (03/14) Live! From Promised La

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Promised Land, Louisiana

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
JP Sparxx vs. Mai Muyo

Non-Title Match[/u]
Stan Fulton vs. LD Williams vs. El Lobo Sangriento vs. Ghosthead

Non-Title Street Fight[/u]
The Flyin Hawaiians vs. Attitude Adjuster & Honcho Williams

Phoenix Rising vs. Texpress
Danny Taylor & Psykle vs. Chris Evans & Ricky Soaring Eagle
Crowing vs. Matt Folz vs. Stank
Moosehead Jack vs. Comrade Sharkoff


card subject to Scooby Doo and the Curse of the Bayou Baddies

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad, Zane and Bridgette are loading their bags into a charter bus ~~~

Bridgette: Well I'm proud of you guys.

Chad: It was a nice little win.

Zane: Mai's improving. and Crowing really has fine-tuned his game.

Chad: I agree. With some more regular work, they could be dangerous.

Bridgette: Speaking of dangerous....

Zane: I saw.

Chad: What??

Zane: Next week..... Phoenix Rising.

Chad: Really? That'll be fun.

Zane: They're getting better each week, and both times during the Showcase we barely came out on top.

Bridgette: Well when we get home we can study hard.

Zane: Home? We're heading to Louisiana.

Bridgette: Not until Tuesday evening. We're going to San Antonio. Re-charge the batteries and sleep in our own beds for a few days.

Chad: Sweet.

Zane: She's the best. Let's get going.

~~~They board the bus, the doors shut and it takes off into the night as we fade....~~~

[BookerShark]

*Fade in to the Destroyatorium in the Guatemala City Sportsplex in Guatemala City, Guatemala, post-Mayhem, where we find El Lobo Sangriento SHAKING~! hands with LD Williams. Dynamite Danny Taylor is also there…

ELS: Helluva win tonight, boys. We were like a well-oiled machine out there. Gotta be the matching tights.

LDW: We did pretty good. We got the win, at least. It would have been nice to do some permanent damage to any or all of them, though.

*Danny makes a “breaking” motion with his hands.

ELS: I agree. It would be nice to hear some New Guard bones breaking, but again, we got the win. That can’t sit well with them, and it moves each of us closer to title shots, I would think. Speaking of which, I have to go see a man about a horse. Or a girl about a horse. A match, actually. Fuck it. I’m going to talk to Selena about a title shot against Fulton. Back in a bit.

*Lobo leaves the Destroyatorium and heads toward GM Selena’s office down the Hallway of You Should Have Brought Backup, when he’s BLINDSIDED~! by a blast from Stan Fulton’s Heavyweight Title belt. Lobo is down!

SF: There’s your “title shot.”

*Chris Evans and JP Sparxx emerge from the shadows, and the three New Guard members lay into Lobo with kicks and punches as we *FADE*

[BookerShark]

A Promo in three parts…


there is a polite knock at Selena’s door

GM-S: Come in.

Crowing enters, dressed in his smart promo gear, well cut jeans, black shirt, charcoal grey waistcoat, hair all neat and such…

GM-S: Well this could be a pleasant surprise, how can I help you? That is, assuming you’re not going to wail about Mai being given a title shot while you’re left in the mid-card or my supposed favouritism to the New Guard.


Crowing: (smiles) No, none of that. I saw you’re conversation with Victor last week, and I figured it holds true for me as well. So I have a suggestion.

GM-S: I‘m listening, go on.

Crowing: It’s no secret that I want the Onslaught title, and I know I had my shot at the last PPV but it’s pretty clear that I had the match won and calling an OOWF match off for excessive blood-loss is… unprecedented.

GM-S: So whiny, so bored…

Crowing: Fair enough, but what I’m asking for is a rematch, one on one, with Sparxx, for the Onslaught title, with some stipulation meaning that any of his cronies, Folz, Evans or even Jewel can’t get involved. Put us in a cage, ban them from the building. I don’t care. Throw in whatever other stipulation you like as well. I know I’ve got the beating of that jive talker if it’s anything approaching a fair fight. Also, you know that a match between me & Sparxx that has a clean finish is going to be the match of the year…

GM-S: Indeed. I appreciate your candour and I’ll take your request under advisement, especially seeing as you’ve left a lot of variables to play with.

Crowing: I aim to please, and I’m not needy.

GM-S: As you say, but one thing…

Crowing: Yes?

GM-S: Mai has a shot at the Onslaught title this week. Is it not a little disrespectful to your tag team partner to presume she won’t be able to win the belt?

Crowing: Firstly, I never asked to be in a tag team with Mai. Sure, we seem to gel well and she’s a nice girl, but I didn’t come back to fill up the tag ranks. Secondly, sure Mai might win – she’s more than capable in the ring, but I figure that if I can’t beat Sparxx then my smaller, younger, less cynical friend is going to fall short, especially given that this is a free-TV match rather than a PPV encounter with a significant build-up like my match was…

Kayfabe does a walk-through, glaring at Crowing.

Crowing: Angry, angry lady. Anyway, my last point is that Mai agreed to give me a title match if she beats Sparxx before the PPV and I assume that promise holds good, so if she does pull it off, then I don’t need a stipulation match against J-P.

GM-S: Your reasoning is sound, if more self-centred than a gyroscope, but I can respect that. Keep an eye on the match making boards and you’ll see my response.

Crowing: Then I bid you good-day, booker lady…

GM-S: Don’t push it….

FADE

SOME TIME LATER

Stank is WALKING backstage, when Crowing emerges from the shadows and falls into step beside him, clearly struggling to match the big man’s stride. Stank takes a second to notice, then stops working and goes straight into a fighting pose…

Crowing: Easy there Lucas, it’s me…

Stank: Like you’ve never sneak attacked me before…

Crowing: Fair point, but that was… before. I have a suggestion to make.

Stank: OK, but be warned I’m not in a trusting mood…

Crowing: Quite right too. Now, I know that you’re all bent out of shape about the New Guard and I know that Moose and Ghosthead have been in your head of late as well but that’s not the main issue here. I’ve got my issues with the New Guard as well and that kinda puts us on the same side, no matter how bizarre that might be…

Stank: I’m not on anyone’s side…

Crowing: I’m sensing that. However, I think it makes sense for the two of us to take care of a mutually loathed foe this week at Mayhem, rather than letting him watch us bash our heads in, ala 3 Piece Set vs. D&D circa 2005 and sneak in for the win. Folz LOVES to sneak.

Stank: That sounds sensible, even attractive, even if the concept of… working together with you is a little strange.

Crowing: The feeling is entirely mutual, I keep expecting to see Cole & Ax jump you from behind while I’m talking to you.

Stank spins round to confront…nothing.

Crowing: My, we ARE jumpy…

Stank: You’ve seen what’s happened to Jack & Davin…

Crowing: Yes, and I think it’s time for a little reciprocity. I figure we can smash Folz pretty good between us, break his bones, toss him from the ring and hopefully the company. Then we can get on and satisfy our first instincts to punch each other’s faces in. Deal?

Crowing extends his hand to seal the deal, Stank looks down at it.

Stank: I’ll think about it…

Stank continues walking, while Crowing is left standing

Crowing: I’m hearing that a lot recently…

FADE

SOME TIME LATER

Mai Muyo leaves prayer group and is walking to training, with her training gear in a neat little backpack when Crowing falls into step beside her.

Mai Muyo: I don’t want to hear it.

Crowing: I haven’t said anything yet.

Mai Muyo: I saw what you said to Selena. You don’t think I can beat Sparxx.

Crowing: If you saw that then you’ll also know that my main issue with Sparxx is that he keeps getting screwy wins from bent referees, his skanky valet and his stable-mates. Under those circumstances, I’m not sure anyone can beat him and take the title.

Mai Muyo: Still, a little support would be nice. We are supposed to be partners after all.

Crowing: I’m still not sure quite how that happened.

Mai Muyo: (pulls incredibly endearing face, like she’s in a bad mood) Hmn.

Crowing: Look Mai, I like you, I respect your skills and I’d cheer from the cheap seats if you were to beat Sparxx and take that title. I just think that the variables need removed for someone to have a fair shot…

Mai Muyo: …and by someone you mean YOU. I guess it’s only fair that you don’t hold me to giving you a shot if I do beat him. I mean, if you don’t believe in me…

Crowing: (With more enthusiasm than he might like to show) …but I DO believe in you Mai. I’m just a born cynic…

Crowing stops short, as if remembering something

Crowing: …especially when I see you having clandestine meetings with someone like Fulton.

Mai Muyo: (playfully) Aw, are you jealous?

Crowing: (defensively) No, it’s just that I don’t like someone I… a friend, seeming to share a confidence with someone like Fulton. Don’t get involved with the New Guard, Mai, they’re no good for anyone, even themselves.

Mai Muyo: I’ll keep that in mind. Now, I’ve got to go and train. I do have a title match to prepare for, after all.

Mai pecks Crowing on the cheek, completely dumfounding him and skips off to training. Crowing takes a second to recover his wits…

Crowing: Oh…

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman, LD Williams, and Stank are sitting outside on a deck overlooking the bayou near Promised Land, LA. The waitress brings their drinks.

W: ...and a club soda for you, ma'am.

FW: Thanks.

LDW: Club soda? Really?

FW: I'm not really interested in another 48-hour "observation."

S: Still, you can have one.

FW: With my record of impulse control, I think you can see why that's not a good idea.

S: True....okay, shall we?

They all hold up their glasses with one hand, and a V with their left hand, and then drink. Then they sit in silence for a while.

LDW: You know, he's right.

FW: I hate it when you point that out.

S: Me too.

LDW: Listen, that is why RunDEA imploded, and that's why the Five was able to stay strong until....looks at Fire....the "issues." Opposition.

S: Yeah, well, so far, no one is interested in that. People go around saying they have each others' backs, but everybody acting alone.

They all look thoughtfully into their drinks.

FW: You know....we could make the call.

LD and Stank look at each other.

LDW: She's not serious.

S: Couldn't be.

FW: Very funny. But I am. You know the oath we all took. It still holds.

S: It does...

FW: And...we're really getting along lately since helped me with Alex.

LDW: Okay...let's just say...for arguments' sake....let's say he agrees. There's someone else that isn't going to agree so readily.

S: Yeah. Not as long as--

FW: I know that's what he says, but really, the opportunity to commit random acts of violence? He'll overlook almost ANYTHING for that.

Stank and LD kind of nod.

FW: It's just something to think about.

And they do for a bit, as it's silent.

LDW: What is that smell?

S: Swamp gas. You get used to it.

FW: I could.

LDW: Seriously?

FW: *after a few moments thinking* You know...Davin is lucky. He at least has a place to go home to. You got that, LD, and I guess you do too, Stank.

LDW: Don't you?

FW: Nah...I mean, I had a small studio in Philly, but that lease ran out years ago. In Japan, NOAH had us in an apartment they paid for, and then I met Jericho on the plane when I left there.

S: Wow, that didn't take you long.

FW: Funny. He knew I didn't have much, so he and Lance put me in an apartment with some other SWA wrestlers, but then...yeah, there was the house in Florida. Then we kinda broke up.

LDW: Kinda?

FW: But none of those places was really MINE, you know? Or even "ours." I guess I just never thought about it until now.

S: Don't the Darlings have a million houses?

LDW: Fire's burned down two of them.

FW: We still aren't technically accepted as 'family' just yet. Alex has some apartments here and there--

LDW: Well, those are technically yours too.

FW: Eh, not really. Maybe technically...plus I'm not sure they're exactly unoccupied right now. Even if they were...I want a house. And I want ... wow, I never thought I'd want that ... anyway, I want a place that I picked out, and that has stuff in it I chose or had a part in choosing. And ... I think I want it here. Birthplace of voodoo in America.

LDW: So, do it.

FW: Huh?

S: Yeah. Get Lucky to do it though, because you wouldn't believe the paper work.

FW: Eh, we'll see. It's probably a dumb idea, I'd never be there anyway.

LDW: Never know. It's nice having a place to get away from it all.

FW: Maybe....

The three fall into silence.

S: So...you really think he'd listen if we called?

The INC starts to run out of battery so they fade the conversation.

[BookerShark]

**SFJ#47 is standing by with L.D. Williams.**

SFJ#47: “L.D., last week it was pretty clear that you were trying to send a message to World Heavyweight Champion Crusher Stan Fulton. This week, you’ll be in the ring with him again.”

LDW: This isn’t the first time Stanley and I have been in the ring together. In fact, we’ve been interacting pretty much since the day you got here, haven’t we Stan?

First, you faked the death of your manager to get Ma arrested and get inside my head, but that didn’t work.

Then you decided you respected me, and that didn’t work.

Then you hired Matt Folz to break my arm, and that worked, but didn’t do you any good in the long run.

After that you decided we should be allies, and that got you a Trios Title reign.

So what’s it going to be this time? Non-title matches so you can claim you weren’t really trying? Check. Multi-person matches so that you have a built in excuse when you lose? Check. A tirade about how I’m old and decrepit and while you, as the illustrious world champion have no control over the matches you are put into, I clearly must have used my influence and the ‘old boys club’ mentality of the OOWF to wind the invitational - Okay, you haven’t actually said any of that yet, but I think we can safely assume you’re going to.

I don’t know what to tell you Stan. It seems you think that since you earned the title - and you did - any attempt to take it away from you is an insult. I might not like you much - or at all, actually - but I respect what you’ve done. Thing is, you could be the greatest champion in history and I’d still come after you. Just ask Stank. Better yet, don’t ask him - I want to be the one to beat you.

But this week we aren’t alone. I like Lobe, and I don’t know much about Ghosthead. I wouldn’t dream of taking either of them lightly. Let’s face it though, they’ve got their own issues, same as you and I. At some point it’s going to come down to you and I. Then we’ll find out just how much you learned from Stank Moose and I. You’ll have the chance to show the world just how worn out and broken down I really am, while I’ll get to see if you’re as good as your press clippings. Most of all, we’ll see whether you’re willing to step to a legend, or just take the easy way out. A few months ago I would have said it was the former Now? I’m not so sure.

See you Wednesday Stan - whichever one of you shows up.”

[BookerShark]

We come up in the Destroyatorium, Dynamite Danny Taylor looks around in confusion wondering where LD has disappeared too. At this point he hears the commotion in the hall, and bursts from his seat. He heads out and sees Fulton, Folz and Evans putting the boots to Lobo. Danny rushes down the hallway towards the fracas. Evans sees him coming and shouts a warning. Fulton attempts to swing his world title at Danny, but the big man is surprisingly quick and ducks under it. Fulton barely misses Folz, who gives him a "what the hell" look.

Meanwhile, Danny bull rushes Evans, slamming him into the wall. Folz and Fulton are on him before he can do anymore damage and start laying in. Fortunately, Lobo has recuperated little and is able to get back to his feet and pulls Fulton back laying into him. Folz switches back to pulling Lobo away from Fulton, as Evans and Danny start laying into each other.

At this point, Vic comes around the corner and after quickly sizing up the situation he rushes in to help his teammates. Unfortunately for Vic, his help is almost instantly negated, as one punch from Fulton puts him down and nearly out. Lobo and Danny put up a hell of a struggle, but the number advantage starts to take it's toll.

Thankfully, at this point Texexpress arrive on the scene. Seeing they have lost the advantage, the New Guard beats a strategic retreat. The Texans check on Lobo and Danny, who are bruised but basically unharmed. Danny tries to help Vic up, but Vic just pulls away, obviously frustrated. He storms off into the Destroyatorium.

Danny looks after him sadly, then starts to head after him. Lobo places a hand on his shoulder.

Lobo: Give him a minute. Let him cool off.

Danny nods in agreement, but never takes his eyes off of his retreating friend.

FADE

[BookerShark]

A little while later we are in the Destroyatorium. Vic is sitting off by himself, still frustrated, as Danny and Lobo are sharing a drink and recuperating. Psykle walks in the door, nods greetings to Spencer and Ashley, and walks over to where Danny and Lobo are.

Psykle: Mind if I join you?

Danny makes a gesture signaling for him to sit.

Psykle: Thanks. Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t make it out to help you guys with The New Guard, I was busy in the training center getting ready for our match this week, and didn’t see what was going on…

Danny holds up a hand and signals for Psykle not to worry about.

Psykle: Well, listen, this week we’ve got Evans and Soaring Eagle in a tag match.

Danny signals something to Psykle along the lines of him wanting Evans, and Psykle can have Ricky.

Psykle: I don’t think it’s going to be that simple. Ricky doesn’t care who he’s in the ring with, and as we’ve seen, Evans doesn’t want any piece of you, nor does he want any piece of me, as evidenced by the fact that he hasn’t said anything about losing to me, or being the first New Guard member to lose the singles title, even though he’s the leader. You know, it’s interesting, not even the rest of the New Guard have said anything about it. I thought for sure The Kai or Sparxx would have run their mouth off about it at least in a joking matter by now. I guess apathy really is there only weapon. Anyway, the odds are, since Evans doesn’t want to be in the ring with either of us, and Ricky just wants to beat people up, Ricky is going to spend most of the time in the match, probably with Evans only coming in for quick tags and taking shots when we’re down.

Danny makes a hand gesture signaling for Psykle to get to the point.

Psykle: Well, the point is, I’ve faced Ricky a lot over the past few months. Sure, last week, he controlled his rage and we went to a 30 minute time limit draw, but we were under Onslaught Rules then. This week, the rules are much more lax, and I doubt Ricky will be able to contain himself. Once he starts going, his rage takes over, and then the tiniest of mistakes will throw him off completely. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take a swing at Evans during the match. Like he says, he doesn’t care who he’s in the ring with, he just wants to inflict pain. So I had an idea…

Danny holds up a finger telling Psykle to wait, then signals around the room, and motions of a camera.

Psykle: Oh, right, INC’s. You got a private place we can talk?

Danny signals to follow him as we fade.

[BookerShark]

Attitude Adjuster is listening to FLAWEDCAST.NET when Honcho Williams politely knocks on the door and asks to come in. AA allows Honcho to enter.

HW: Why can’t I burst in the door like you?

AA: Because I’m writing the promos. Write your own promos and you can do whatever you want.

HW: Which explains why I have to read this? (Holding up sheets of paper.)

AA: Exactly. Now let’s get to it.

Suddenly an OOWF banner drops from the ceiling, studio lights flash on and cameramen run into the room. Honcho clearly looks distressed.

AA: Read, Big Man!

HW: Hey, AA, we have a non-title match against The Flyin Hawaiians…

AA: …this week at Midweek Mayhem, Live! From Promised Land, Louisiana (cheap pop)!

HW: You know what I noticed this week, AA?

AA: What’s that, Honcho?

HW: The Flyin Hawaiians have neither a “g” or an apostrophe at the end of “Flyin.” I’m really upset about that. In fact, I was so upset about it that I found the Flyin Hawaiians in the Random Hallway of Encounters and threw coffee on them!

AA: And you have footage?

HW: I do. Monkeys in the Truck, roll the footage.

The footage rolls, with AA and Honcho standing at the end of the ring entrance. Watching the footage, Honcho is confused.

HW: I don’t remember the promo starting here.

AA: I did a little post-production editing. This is much better.

AA and Honcho are interrupted during their interview by The Flyin Hawaiians.

HW: I don’t ever remember doing this.

AA: Shut up and watch.

FH: We’re the masters of every dangerous type of match in the world!

HW: You know we’ll wrestle you in any type of match, anytime, anywhere in the world. AA says so; I say so. Any kind of match, anytime, anywhere.

FH: You know, AA, Honcho comes out here saying he’s from Honolulu. Honcho, you’re not from Honolulu. You don’t know what it’s like to fight, kick and scratch for everything. The closest you’ve been to downtown is when you dropped off your stinkin (notice, again neither a “g” or an apostrophe) laundry to be cleaned.

HW: AA, tell them. I’m from Honolulu! I know what Honolulu is like. Tell them!

Honcho stops the footage.

HW: I’m not from Honolulu! Why would I say that? I never said this! How do you do this?

AA: #1 Promo Team in the OOWF. Never forget that. Monkeys in the Truck, roll the footage!

AA: Honcho, you are from the Kukio section of Honolulu. They are from the streets. The key word is streets. They’re monsters from the streets.

HW: We’re not afraid of these monsters. So don’t (pointing at the Hawaiians) you or you forget it!

FH: Honcho, you remind me of a washing machine. You really agitate us. Let me tell you something, Honcho. I’m sure you’re really from Honolulu—as we are. I’m sure you’re a tough guy. If you want to do a Honolulu Street Fight, I’m sure you’ll excel. I’m sure you’re looking forward to getting into the ring and doing a full-scale Honolulu Street Fight with us.

The Flyin Hawaiians leave the area.

HW: You want a Honolulu Street Fight, you got it. Right, AA? What does that mean anyway?

AA: What did you just say?

HW: Honolulu Street Fight. I’m from Honolulu. What is a Honolulu Street Fight?

AA: Good job, Honcho. But man, you really got us into a bind. So what is a Honolulu Street Fight?

HW: I’m not from Honolulu! I never did that promo! I don’t… I don’t have a clue what’s going on here!

AA: Well, you better get to work. Apparently we have a Honolulu Street Fight at Midweek Mayhem, Live! From Promised Land, Louisiana (cheap pop)! You might want to find a coconut or something.

HW: I have no idea what just happened.

[BookerShark]

Mai Muyo is sitting outside the arena on the deck overlooking the bayou, reading her Bible. Firewoman sees her there and starts to walk away. But then she takes a deep breath, turns around, and with a great deal of determination, walks over to her.

FW: Mai...I....

Mai looks up and closes her Bible, patting on the seat behind her in anime-girl way. I can't describe it...you know what it is when you see it.

MM. Oh, hi Fire! Have a seat! You know, this is really beautiful. I mean, it is the source of all evil, too, that religion you practice...no offense. *giggle* But I get it, because the beauty and mystery here is just seductive, isn't it?

FW: I guess....I need to-

MM: Where's Alex?

FW: Who? Oh, he'll be here later, he went to take care of some family stuff.

MM: Ah. Well at least he told you this time, right?

FW: Yeah...um....look.....about Eco.....

MM: Yes?

FW: Look, I'm...I'm sorry.....I didn't mean to kick him...well, I mean I did...that part I very much meant, but just to get him to leave me alone. I didn't know the flames would still be on and ..... then I saw him there and I just....I just froze....I was so shocked and....anyway....I'm really .... really sorry.

Mai looks at her for a while.

MM: Wow, that was probably really really really hard for you. And I have no doubt you were sincere. So I forgive you.

FW: Um...thanks.

MM: No problem. It's what we Christians do.

FW: Right...well....

Fire starts to get up and leave.

MM: Besides, it wasn't your fault, anyway. It was his.

FW: Well, no--

MM: Allow me to show you something.

Mai produces a tablet of some kind (no endorsement) and plays a
video.

MM: The INCs missed this, or decided to not air it.

The video appears to be right before the Inferno Cage match. Ecosystem has come into Firewoman's meditation room where she is meditating, He waits for her to get done, and when she opens her eyes and stands, he startles her.

FW: DAMMIT. Get out of her before I--

Eco: Lisa...I need you to help me.

FW: What? No...not again. Not EVER again.

Eco: No no...not like that. I'm....you know how this has to go, right?

FW: Get out.

Eco: I meant what I said before. I'm not going to stop. I want to...but I'm not...you get that, right?

FW: Seriously...if you don't leave I'm going to call for Alex and--

Eco: Alex isn't here, and neither is Lucky. It's just you. YOU are the only one who can stop me.

Fire has a strange look on her face as if she's afraid, but whether it's of herself or Ecosystem, it's hard to say.

Eco: You know it's true. It always has been. And you're right, it has to end tonight. You know what to do.

Ecosystem turns and walks away.

FW: No. You don't get to manipulate me anymore. I'm going to go out there, do my job, and win this match, and then be done with you.

Eco: Only one way that will ever happen. You'll have to do it. *he gives her a smile that's at once angelic and demonic* I can't do EVERYTHING myself, after all.

He leaves. The camera holds on Firewoman for a bit, and then fades.

Back to this timeline, and Firewoman is a little shaken but covers it up quickly.

FW: So? He's crazy.

MM: So that's his nature, right there. He can never do things for himself, that's why he recruited you in the first place.

FW: Recruited....interesting word for it.

MM: And why you were so easily recruited. Your thirst for vengeance and his thirst for control.

FW: Okay...well, I've said what I needed to say and--

MM: It's just natural that, there, at the end, all that emotion and passion would lead to the logical conclusion. I know he wouldn't have wanted it any other way, and I think that's the only way you would want to end it too. It makes too much sense.

FW: Are you saying....Mai, I didn't want any of this.

MM: *patented anime smile* Oh, sure, you didn't Fire. You did exactly what he wanted you to do, just like always, and while I do think you're sorry, I think you're also really okay with it. Just like always.

FW: ....

MM: Okay, I'm going to go now. See you later!

Mai gathers her things and skips away, leaving Fire standing on the deck.

[BookerShark]

Mai Muyo skips off and bumps into JP Sparxx as she exits.

Mai: Oh! Excuse me.

JPS: (looking up at a monitor) Man, dat some weird shit you an' Fire were discussing.

Mai looks at JP quizzically.

Mai: It is...it is, because there are so many feelings involved. So many emotions, so much confusion. And you don't understand it, do you?

JPS: I mean, I don't think nobody understands Fire. Least of all herself, knowhatimsayin?

Mai: I think I do knowhatyoursayin. Jewel...she matters to you so much more than anyone else here, doesn't she?

JPS: (surprised) ...Of course she does. She my girl.

Mai: (smiling) That's so good. Keep those priorities in order, J-P. I'll see you in the ring on Wednesday.

Mai pats JP's face and exits.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Ricky Soaring Eagle is seen walking away from the new guard lockerroom. He grabs a trash can and hurls it down the hallway. From around a corner, one of the backstage interviewers gingerly approaches him.

“Can…. I ask you some questions?”

“If you must”

“The last time we saw you before your match last week you were led off in restraints. “

“Is that a question ?”

“So.. what happened?”

“It is not the first time I have had to deal with authorities. It won’t be the last.”

“Ok…. So I’m guessing you’re here to talk to the new guard about the tag team match this week?”

“How very observant. We didn’t exchange St. Patricks day cards.”

“So, are you considering joining the new guard now?”

“No. I spoke with mr Evans. We share similar interests this week Psykle took his title. He’s been a thorn in my side nearly since I arrived here. So fuck him. But am I joining the new guard? No. I don’t care that they were held back. I don’t care to join in mass beatdowns . I am not interested in furthering anyone’s agenda but my own. “

“And what is your agenda here in the OOWF? You speak of causing pain, but don’t you have aspirations? Don’t you want to be known as a champion or something?”

“I have decided. I am setting my sights on taking this title from Psykle. Eing Intercontinantal champion gives me greater reign to cause physical pain to other people. “

“SO why The Intercontinantal Title? Why not the Onslaught or World?”

“One, psykle has been pissing me off for long enough now. He thinks I need to learn to control my rage? It’s about time I taught him a lesson of my own. About not Pissing me off.
The Onslaught title does not interest me at all. I have shown I can play within it’s rules, I would just rather not deal with them. The World title would be nice, but I have no real issue with Fulton. Although I’d like to remind him he was beaten dead to rights last time we met. “

“What about Moose’s DDT title and it’s new rules?”

“That does interest me. I am certainly not afraid of engaging him in a fight, and I sure as fuck wouldn’t tap out like that commie bitch did last week. I’ll keep that one in mind. Perhaps Jack and I can tango sometime soon.”

“What about Danny Taylor?”

“I have no real qualm with him. I don’t care for the company he keeps. So fuck him too. Perhaps after I make him hurt, make him suffer, he will think twice about who he gets drunk with. You think you hurt when the new guard jumped you Mute boy? You think it hurt when your old friend got taken out? You haven’t felt MY brand of pain yet son. We’ll meet for the first time this Wednesday. It will be my Pleasure. My pleasure to make you and your biker bitch buddy

FEEL

MY

PAIN!”

Ricky reaches behind him and produces a TIRE IRON. The interviewer takes off running, and Ricky swings the weapon, putting a hole in the wall exactly where her head just was. He then faces the camera and swings it again, and suddenly, everything goes to static….

[BookerShark]

FADE up on a shot of some God-forsaken swamp somewhere south of New Orleans. Standing on roadside nearby is OOWF World Heavyweight Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton. Knowing the INCs are always nearby, he begins talking. So just to be clear, he's not talking to himself. OK? We're clear on that? Good.

"When I've said 'I can't believe I work in this shithole,' this is what I was thinking about. Look at this place? A thousand blood-sucking bugs per square inch. Communities that have five teeth combined and are all probably related. And the stupid fuckin' cameras from The History Channel to film it all.

"But enough of this. I am here to fight and pick up a paycheck.

"Now before some skank comes running up with a microphone to ask if I've seen LD's promo, the answer is 'yes.'

"LD, we sure have been interacting since I got here. Guess you'd say if I had a foil in this company you'd be it. You brought out the laundry list of our highlights.

"Faking the death of my manager. Not exactly ground breaking in this industry, but we gave it a try. Didn't work. I was young and naive. Had Matt break your arm. I don't clearly remember the details, but I'll not deny that's probably what happened. Again, I used what was available to me to get an advantage. Same as just about everyone in this industry. Then, thanks to some of the things I learned from you, from Stank, from Moose... I won the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. And I'm one Tag Team championship reign away from being a Grand Slam and Six-Pack Champion. Coming up on my two-year anniversary with the OOWF.

"But where you go astray a touch is when you say I decided we should be allies. Let's clear that up. You were running with Moose and Stank. They came to me. I didn't beg to join you, but either way you, Tytan and myself won the Campeonas de Trios Championships. A highlight of my career, no doubt.

"Don't go assuming what I'm going to do, however, LD. Plus, let's clear one more item up now. Never believe I don't respect the in-ring abilities of you, Stank, Moose, Davin, Alex, Fire or any other person on this roster. I just named six first ballot OOWF Hall of Famers. I know that in my heart. So I have the utmost respect for your abilities inside that ring.

"I do not, however, respect the way that most of that list abused your power here. I do admit that you, LD, may be the one person on that list that never did. You never stormed into the GM's office demanding anything. For that I respect you more than others.

"But what I don't understand is your blind devotion to doing things a certain way because 'that's the way we've always done them.' Stagnation. The curse and downfall of nearly every wrestling organization. And that's what the New Guard is fighting against. Doing things the old way. The easy way.

"You're a smart man, LD. You know the adage 'It's better to be thought a fool, then to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.' You've quietly put your name at the top of the list of the best pure technical wrestlers in this business. I wholeheartedly respect that, man.

"But for Almighty God's sake, stop blindly following Stank's crazy obsession of taking us on. Whenever he talks of the New Guard he's got to bring up the Five. It's like the man with the small penis buying the huge pickup truck. You don't have to compare and contrast the two groups. The only thing similar to them is they are ... both groups.

"The Five existed for the Five. Fine. The New Guard exists to raise the new guys. Okay. Whatever. Let's go out and blow the roof off during the next match.

"Lobo is going all batshit just like Stank. Too bad for him. He could be incredible in this business if he didn't saddle himself with all these crusades he takes on. Just go out and fight, dude. Ghosthead is frankly a mystery to me. We'll see where he goes in this.

"But you and I, LD? We're going to go out there Wednesday night and put on a show. I don't have any objection with facing you for the World Championship. I don't have any objection to facing any of those six names I mentioned. Hell, any one of those matches would be spectacular. I know I'd win every one, but that's just conceit to be honest. I just want every man on this roster to earn that spot each time. Not say 'I was World Champion once (or twice or five times or whatever). I should just get a chance again.'

"That's what the New Guard is trying to stop. Work your way to earning a shot. That's all we ask. If you've earned it, get Selena to grant it. And if I lose this Championship, and I will one day, if my opponent earned their shot I'll hand them the belt myself. If they got their shot because they whined about not getting one? I'll beat the shit out of them with the belt then immediately demand my rematch.

"Wins and losses, LD. That is what this is all about. He, or she, with the wins gets the opportunities. No matter who they are or how long they've been here. Plain and simple. Those who continue to fight against that are getting forced retirement.

"So. I'll see you in the ring Wednesday night, LD. We'll put on a hell of a show. And if you pin me, you've earned a shot and you'll get it. That's the way it should work and that's they way the New Guard wants it to work.

"And that's all that really matters, isn't it?"

FADE

[BookerShark]

Early morning ... VERY early morning. The Full Moon is hanging low in the Western Sky and the INCs have found Firewoman leaving ... let's call it a gathering. Her phone rings.

FW: Jessica? Wow, I haven't talked to you in FOREVER.....what's up? .......Things goin' well.........naw, he's dealing with some family stuff, but should be back today............................Tell Austin the answer is still no..........no, no, I know we'd steal the show, but the rest of the Knockouts...........wait, what?......no I didn't watch Thursday I was........HE DID?.......and what did you say............YOU DID?......and then what did he say?.............HE DID? Jess, that's AWESOME!!!!..................of course I'll be there..............look, just....lemme give you some advice...............if Dixie or Hulk or whoever is running the show says "Let's do this on TV in the ring"......just ELOPE. Trust me on that one.....

Fire gets into a waiting cab and the INC loses the rest of the coversation.

[BookerShark]

*Stank and LD Williams are sitting at a bar having just finished watching a replay of Stan Fulton's promo.*

Stank - FUCK Yeah! Stop BLINDLY following me Billy D!

LDW - Then STOP bringing up The Five!

Stank - I only bring up The Five to refute EVERY TIME HE draws that comparison.

LDW - I only BLINDLY follow you because I don't want to SEE where you're taking us.

Stank - You mean the way Stan... wait... what?

LDW - What?

Stank - You only blindly follow me because , huh?

LDW - Forget it. Just continue reading the script.

*Stank consults the notes on his wrist then looks over at LD.*

Stank - You got me all discombobulated with that adlib.

LDW - OH MR. PROMO gets all DISCOMBOBULATED when ol charismaless LD Williams DARES to adlib in HIS promo!

Stank - What the fuck's the matter with you man?

LDW - Nice tattoo you got there.

*Stank holds down his wrist.*

Stank - What are you doing?

LDW - Nothing.

Stank -

LDW - Can I SHINE just ONCE!

Stank -

LDW -

Stank - Take it away.

LDW - I will!

*LD Williams rises to his feet and looks directly into the camera.*

LDW - It's just like you Stan, it's just like you to run your mouth about me from an undisclosed location at a nearby swamp, it's just like... it's just like you STAN to run your mouth from behind a camera where I can't smack the lips from your stupid face!

Stank - Smooth.

LDW - Shut up. You switch up your message, trying to confuse the people, trying to confuse me about who you say the New Guard is? The New Guard respects, The New Guard doesn't respect, respect, disrespect, IT DOESN'T... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO the New Guard RESPECTS! or not!

Stank - Preach it brother.

LDW - Shut up. The ONLY thing that matters, THE ONLY THING that matters is when LD Williams takes his size 10 boot..!

Stank - Hold on!

LDW - WHAT!

Stank - .... you wear a size 10 boot?

LDW - What are you trying to say Stank?

Stank - Nothing... carry on.

LDW - No. Forget it. I'm done.

Stank - No, no, no, don't listen to me. Continue. You're doing great. This is good stuff.

LDW - No. Besides, doing promo's like The Rock is Kai's thing.

Stank - The Kai.

LDW - Huh?

Stank - It's The Kai... not Kai.

LDW - Whatever.

Stank - I get your point though... I mean I get what you were trying to say during that episode you were fumbling through a second ago.

LDW - What... you mean about how he says, without any sense of irony, I need to stop blindly following you?

Stank - What are you talking about? Crusher doesn't blindly follow the New Guard?

LDW - Maybe not, but he does change his tune depending on whichever way the wind blows.

Stank - You remember that game Alex and Davin used to play whenever Moose mentioned one of them, or whatever the fuck it was Moose said during his promos?

LDW - I remember. You thinking that might apply here?

*Stank reaches into his pocket and hands LD Williams a one dollar bill.*

Stank - You know... just to get us started.

LDW - Thanks... uh... where are you going?

Stank - Gotta go see a man about a DDT Championship belt.

Fade

[BookerShark]

** OOWF Arena **

The crowd is of course there a few days early as they watch local talent and potential future stars of the OOWF. The fans are enjoying the action, but the roof blows off the arena when A Perfect Circle's "Counting Bodies Like Sheep..." begins to play and Alexander Darling steps out from the back. Dressed in black but with the hood down and the long hair flowing (happy Fire?) Alex slides under the bottom rope and grabs a microphone from the ring announcer who steps out of the ring. Alex looks around to all 4 sides and takes in the crowd before making his way over to one of the corners and hopping up onto the top turnbuckle as the crowd quiets down.

Alexander: Thank you for that as I know we've had our ups and downs recently, but it is always good to be appreciated. I haven't had a lot to say in recent weeks so I figure it's time to change that. My beautiful wife and tag team partner is in the back working on our training schedule and talking with a friend about something so I decided to come out and get a few things off my chest.

First of all, Phoenix Rising is here to stay. Fire and I may have our disagreements about our choice of friends and allies, but when push comes to shove there is no one else I'd rather have in this company watching my back than Fire and no one's back who I'd rather watch than Fire's. So for all the talk in the back about former stables and their potential for the future...the bottom line is this, Fire and Alex; Alex and Fire...we're a package deal now and that's not going to change.

Second thing is that we have one goal in mind right now and that's to become the first duo to ever win the Grand Slam at the same time and there's only one thing standing in our way of that and it's the OOWF World Tag Team Championships. It has taken some time but the fact is very simple, we're getting better at an exponential rate and that spells trouble for the rest of the tag division. Chad and Zane may be the measuring sticks, AA may be a veteran and Honcho may be the future, and Kai and Aina may have been the best in the world but none of them have the talent Fire and I do. It's that simple. 3 Campeonas de Trios Reigns, 6 Onslaught Title Reigns, 4 Intercontinental Title Reigns, and 4 World Title Reigns...that's what Fire and I bring to the table so it's as clear as clear can be that when we focus on a goal, we're that damn good and now our goal are those Tag Team Championship.

That brings us to our match this week...I'm going to say something I've never said in an interview or promo before so understand what this means Chad and Zane...I respect your accomplishments, I respect what your history is, but if there's one thing I have agreed with the New Guard with it's that history is overrated and it's all about the present and future. Chad and Zane, you guys were absolutely great and in the right circumstances, I bet you still could be. This is not the right circumstance for you. You're standing in the way of destiny and it's time to move out of the way or we're going to run you over and end your careers in disgrace.

And once that is done, it leads us to the champs. Kai, Aina...peers, friends, enemies, brothers...we've been through a lot together but the fact is you keep very bad company and it's warping the things I know that have been taught to you. I'm never going to come out here and claim that Poe was right about everything or that I listened to everything, but the fact is everything I did, I felt deep in my heart and soul it was what I needed to do. But I looked into both of your eyes and I didn't see that same dedication, that same desire to a cause that we all had at one time. The New Guard are a means to an end for you and that's going to be your downfall. They're not going to be there when you need them the most and that will be when Fire and I take those shiny belts away from you. Then you'll see exactly where you stand with your new "friends."

Here's the bottom line to you, to the New Guard, to the Texans, to AA & Honcho, to Stank & LD, to everyone in this company...Firewoman & I have been broken down, we've been beat down, we've been on the edge of destruction but we survived and we stand here in 2012 stronger than we've ever been; as individuals and more importantly, as a team. The term Phoenix Rising is more than a name, it's absolute fact when it comes to us. We have risen and we will continue to rise to new heights because here's the thing...We're the best in the world, and well, you're just not.

Alexander hops off the turnbuckle and drops the mic in that pipe-bomb fashion.

**Fade**

[BookerShark]

~~~ Fade into Zane Myers’ home in San Antonio. We see Bridgette lounging about reading a magazine. Zane is sprawled out on a plush couch and seems to be randomly flipping thru channels on the big screen TV. The doorbell rings, and Chad Madison walks in, dressed to the nines, apparently about to go out on the town. ~~~

Zane: Let me guess, you have a date

Chad: Na, not tonight. Figured I’d just go out and see what kind of fun I can find

Bridgette: Oh I’m sure you can find some.

Chad: (grinning) I do have a talent for it.

Zane: Have fun. Remember, workout tomorrow and tape session afterwards. Noon.

Chad: If I’m home by then.

Zane: A hundred says you’re home in bed… ALONE… by Midnight

Chad: Easy Money

Bridgette: Pace yourself Chad, we’ll be back on the road soon enough. There’ll be plenty of “fresh meat’ so to speak.

Chad: Mmmm. I can’t wait…….. So did you guys see Alex’s comments about us?

Zane: No. No wrestling today. We’re taking a break. Thinking about renting a movie.

Chad: Oh. It was actually pretty good. He didn’t bury us too bad.

Zane: Oh let me guess… we’re good, but our time is past, we should get out of their way,

Chad: Pretty close.

Zane: We’ll deal with it tomorrow. I want a wrestling-free night. You go have your fun. If you’re up early enough, we’re going up to the

Chad: Tower of the Americas, I know. I’ll re-charge my batteries tonight and sleep in instead. I’ll be at the gym at Noon partner.

~~~ Chad heads out the front door. Bridgette joins Zane on the couch and lays in his arms. ~~~

Bridgette: You know, I think he has an idea?

Zane: What?

Bridgette: Recharging our batteries tonight too.

Zane: Oh?

~~~ Bridgette gets up, and drags Zane down the hallway as we fade… ~~~

[BookerShark]

<SFJ13 catches up with Moose in the back>

SFJ13: Moose you have been very quiet since the Saints of Sinners lost to Phoenix Rising in the Sadistic Madness match. What's on your mind?

MHJ: Losing that match......not a big deal. We beat them to within an inch of their lives, but they got lucky in the end. It happens. What happened the following week however......

SFJ13: When Firewoman superkicked your partner into the flames during their inferno match. I think everyone assumed you would be out for blood.

MHJ: Had I gone through with my plan, both Darlings would be a memory, and I would likely be in jail. But I was told to step away. I was ORDERED to leave it alone. The OOWF's precious Darlings were off limits for me until further notice. Fine. That's how this place wants to play things? Fine. Let me just say this to Lisa Darling. Lisa, you fucking hypocrite. You can run around here with your crocodile tears and your fake apologies, and act like you were so shocked by what happened that you just COULDN'T do anything. All that was missing from that fucking performance was you swooning and falling into the arms of that asshole Darling. You stood there and watched a man nearly die. I want you to remember something Lisa. It want you to remember that helpless feeling you had in Japan......you remember, after someone shanked you. You laid there bleeding, in pain, suffering, and no one stepped in to do a thing about it. You looked into their eyes as you lay there helpless and they did nothing. No one moved to help you. They all just stood there and watched you suffer. You have been crying about that for years, and now, you have done the same fucking thing. So take your fake ass tears and shut the fuck up. Take your big fancy terms from Dr. Sid and shut the fuck up. You are a liar. And one day........and I swear this on all that is holy.......one day we are going to get in that ring, and I am going to beat every bit of the Lisa Darling out of you. You are going to have no fucking choice......either the real Firewoman comes back......or I will end your career.

SFJ13: That is........disturbing.......even for you. What do you do until then?

MHJ: Until then? I sit back and watch as Phoenix Rising inevitably fails. That and I defend this DDT title against anyone that wants a shot. Sharkoff stood up again this week, and the result will be the same. Soaring Eagle, Stank, you want a shot at this? I am not hard to find. It all stays in that ring, and at the end of the night, this title stays with me.

Trust me

[BookerShark]

** Casa de Moreland **

Davin is sitting in a state-of-the-art wheelchair as he plays with Mickie and looks over the brackets on his laptop. Samantha, Moonbeam, and Shawn Johnson are all sitting around enjoying the quiet life away from the OOWF. Suddenly, there is a beeping on the television and OOWF-TV pops up somehow. The Moosehead Jack promo plays and as it's finishing, the screen starts flashing...

PLEASE DEPOSIT $5.00 AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE!!!

Sincerely,
Alexander Darling


P.S. Get well soon

Everyone watching the tv gets a little chuckle as they go back to whatever they were doing except for Davin who snarls and types something into his keyboard...

Davin via Stephen Hawking voice: I'm unemployed asshole. I'm going to go broke if this keeps up.

Mickie: Uncle asshole?

Samantha: HARPER MICKIE MORELAND!!! And watch what you're teaching her Davin.

DvSHv: Yes dear.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

~~~ At Methodist Children's Hospital in San Antonio...... We find CHad and Zane sitting, surrounded by patients, reading to the kids. Zane seems to be narrating, while Chad periodically jumps up and acts out the storyline, to the laughter and delight of the kids. The story finishes. Chad takes an exaggerated bow. He and Zane are then mobbed by the kids. Hugs and High Fives for everyone, then they make their way to the nurse station. The head nurse greets them ~~~

Head Nurse: I can't thank you enough. What a wonderful surprise for the kids. I wish we'd have known you were coming, we could have gotten all the parents here as well.

Zane: That's alright, this was more of a last-minute decision.

Chad: That's why it was just us. We'll bring some friends again next time. And more stuff for the kids.

Head Nurse: Wonderful! I know they enjoy your visits.

Zane: We need to be off. You know to call Bridgette or I if you need anything around here, got it?

Head Nurse: Of course. God Speed gentlemen

~~~ Chad and Zane head to the elevators and to the exis ~~~

Zane: I gotta hand it to you partner, that was one of the better ideas you've had.

Chad: Yeah, it was fun. We'll do a big shebang next time, bring Danny, Lobo, Lisa, the whole gang. Maybe even invite some others

Zane: We'll do that soon. I bet we can get in touch with the ASPCA and do something really big. Invite DH too, him being one of theor national spokesmen and all.

Chad: Sweet!

~~~ The camera looks forward and we see Zane's Candy apple Red 1965 Mustang parked right where he left it.... but now there is a gorgeous blonde leaning seductively on the hood. She doesn't move as Zane and Chad reach the car ~~~

Chad: Hellooooooooooo Nurse!

Zane: Would you care to explain yourself

Blonde: I loooooove this car, it's so.... manly. I bet it just purrs like a kitten... (She looks at Chad and purrs) This is yours?

Chad: Of COURSE!

Zane: (unlocking the drivers side door) Oh shut up. And you.. get off my car

Chad: I let him drive it sometimes

Blonde: Actually I'm here in an OOficial capacity.

~~~ She slides off the hood, straightens her skirt, and produces... a microphone ~~~

Zane: I thought you looked easy.

Chad: Partner, give her a break, she came ALL this way...

Zane: Without getting lost, which IS impressive. How did you find us?

Blonde SFJ: It wasn't that hard. You were in San Antonio. Odds are you'd turn up here soon enough.

Chad: Hey! Beauty AND brains!

BSFJ: Awwww how sweet. So, you two have a one on one match with Phoenix Rising against two former Run DEA teammates. How will your history together influence the match?

Zane: It's well known that Alex and Firewoman are as familiar with us as we are with them. Just look at our matches in the recent Tag Team Showcase. Both were back and forth affairs that truly could have went either way at the end. And they are improving. I will grant them that.

But don't get dismissive of Texpress just yet. It's NCAA Tournament time. And there are schools that are consistently 1 and 2 seeds. Like Duke. You might not like Duke, but they are always in the tournament and always a top seed. They won a bunch of Championships in a short span. Champions in 1992, they were out of the tournament in 1995 and couldn't get past the second round for the next couple years. Duke was finished, people said. What happened shortly after? They won it all in 2001. They went on to make another Final Fours after that, but then.. couldn't get out of the second round. Duke was slipping, people said, they were losing their grip. Then what happens? 2010 National Champions.

And again this year, some are counting them out. No matter what anyone says, Duke is still a team to be reckoned with. They draw sellouts on the road, and still create huge ratings on TV. And they'll win another National Championship when you least expect it.

Chad: Sound familair? We won Championships pretty early on. Vaulted to the top of the tag team division. Then we had some rough times. Everyone said we were finished. Our time was over. We came back and won Championships again, setting records in the process. Later, we had another bad stretch and yet again, we were told we were yesterday's news, we were past our primes. What happened? We bounced back and broke some our own records winning more Championships.

So here we stand, not too far removed from our last Championship, being told by yet another team that our time has past, and we need to step aside or else be destroyed.

We draw big crowds on the road. We still create huge ratings on TV. Do i need to go on?

Zane: You see, we've been through this before. The Midnight Sons, IHOP, The Heels, Gods & Monsters, Team TEaM, kz, Fear Us, The Team From Down Under, Nothing Happened, Valor, Poe & Stank, Moose & Stank, The Brass Knuckle Kings, The Flyin' Hawaii'ans. All of them sang the same tune. None of them finished our careers. None of them put us out of business. None of them ended us. So while we like and respect Alexander and Firewoman, they aren't the first to say such things. And like always, we will have the last word.

Chad: Now Alex, I did like that you spouted off all of Phoenix Rising's accomplishments. And quite a long list it was .... 17 overall Championships. Very Impressive. You know, Zane and I have 14 Championships together. We each have a singles reign to boot. That's 15 times EACH. You do the math. Because no matter how you twist the numbers, No tag team in this company can Measure Up to The Texpress

Zane: Now if you'll excuse me, we have to be going. Long trip tomorrow to Promised Land, Louisiana (HUGE Cheap Pop)

Chad: Can we offer you a lift? You could travel back to the arena with us if you really wanted to.

BSFJ: I'd love that

Zane: I didn't........ Whatever. Lets get in and get going then.

Chad: Of COURSE you can stay at my place tonight.

~~~She giggles, they get in the car and Zane fires it up. The engine does indeed purr like a kitten and Zane turns left onto Floyd Curl Drive as we fade..... ~~~

[BookerShark]

~~~ At Methodist Children's Hospital in San Antonio...... We find CHad and Zane sitting, surrounded by patients, reading to the kids. Zane seems to be narrating, while Chad periodically jumps up and acts out the storyline, to the laughter and delight of the kids. The story finishes. Chad takes an exaggerated bow. He and Zane are then mobbed by the kids. Hugs and High Fives for everyone, then they make their way to the nurse station. The head nurse greets them ~~~

Head Nurse: I can't thank you enough. What a wonderful surprise for the kids. I wish we'd have known you were coming, we could have gotten all the parents here as well.

Zane: That's alright, this was more of a last-minute decision.

Chad: That's why it was just us. We'll bring some friends again next time. And more stuff for the kids.

Head Nurse: Wonderful! I know they enjoy your visits.

Zane: We need to be off. You know to call Bridgette or I if you need anything around here, got it?

Head Nurse: Of course. God Speed gentlemen

~~~ Chad and Zane head to the elevators and to the exis ~~~

Zane: I gotta hand it to you partner, that was one of the better ideas you've had.

Chad: Yeah, it was fun. We'll do a big shebang next time, bring Danny, Lobo, Lisa, the whole gang. Maybe even invite some others

Zane: We'll do that soon. I bet we can get in touch with the ASPCA and do something really big. Invite DH too, him being one of theor national spokesmen and all.

Chad: Sweet!

~~~ The camera looks forward and we see Zane's Candy apple Red 1965 Mustang parked right where he left it.... but now there is a gorgeous blonde leaning seductively on the hood. She doesn't move as Zane and Chad reach the car ~~~

Chad: Hellooooooooooo Nurse!

Zane: Would you care to explain yourself

Blonde: I loooooove this car, it's so.... manly. I bet it just purrs like a kitten... (She looks at Chad and purrs) This is yours?

Chad: Of COURSE!

Zane: (unlocking the drivers side door) Oh shut up. And you.. get off my car

Chad: I let him drive it sometimes

Blonde: Actually I'm here in an OOficial capacity.

~~~ She slides off the hood, straightens her skirt, and produces... a microphone ~~~

Zane: I thought you looked easy.

Chad: Partner, give her a break, she came ALL this way...

Zane: Without getting lost, which IS impressive. How did you find us?

Blonde SFJ: It wasn't that hard. You were in San Antonio. Odds are you'd turn up here soon enough.

Chad: Hey! Beauty AND brains!

BSFJ: Awwww how sweet. So, you two have a one on one match with Phoenix Rising against two former Run DEA teammates. How will your history together influence the match?

Zane: It's well known that Alex and Firewoman are as familiar with us as we are with them. Just look at our matches in the recent Tag Team Showcase. Both were back and forth affairs that truly could have went either way at the end. And they are improving. I will grant them that.

But don't get dismissive of Texpress just yet. It's NCAA Tournament time. And there are schools that are consistently 1 and 2 seeds. Like Duke. You might not like Duke, but they are always in the tournament and always a top seed. They won a bunch of Championships in a short span. Champions in 1992, they were out of the tournament in 1995 and couldn't get past the second round for the next couple years. Duke was finished, people said. What happened shortly after? They won it all in 2001. They went on to make another Final Fours after that, but then.. couldn't get out of the second round. Duke was slipping, people said, they were losing their grip. Then what happens? 2010 National Champions.

And again this year, some are counting them out. No matter what anyone says, Duke is still a team to be reckoned with. They draw sellouts on the road, and still create huge ratings on TV. And they'll win another National Championship when you least expect it.

Chad: Sound familair? We won Championships pretty early on. Vaulted to the top of the tag team division. Then we had some rough times. Everyone said we were finished. Our time was over. We came back and won Championships again, setting records in the process. Later, we had another bad stretch and yet again, we were told we were yesterday's news, we were past our primes. What happened? We bounced back and broke some our own records winning more Championships.

So here we stand, not too far removed from our last Championship, being told by yet another team that our time has past, and we need to step aside or else be destroyed.

We draw big crowds on the road. We still create huge ratings on TV. Do i need to go on?

Zane: You see, we've been through this before. The Midnight Sons, IHOP, The Heels, Gods & Monsters, Team TEaM, kz, Fear Us, The Team From Down Under, Nothing Happened, Valor, Poe & Stank, Moose & Stank, The Brass Knuckle Kings, The Flyin' Hawaii'ans. All of them sang the same tune. None of them finished our careers. None of them put us out of business. None of them ended us. So while we like and respect Alexander and Firewoman, they aren't the first to say such things. And like always, we will have the last word.

Chad: Now Alex, I did like that you spouted off all of Phoenix Rising's accomplishments. And quite a long list it was .... 17 overall Championships. Very Impressive. You know, Zane and I have 14 Championships together. We each have a singles reign to boot. That's 15 times EACH. You do the math. Because no matter how you twist the numbers, No tag team in this company can Measure Up to The Texpress

Zane: Now if you'll excuse me, we have to be going. Long trip tomorrow to Promised Land, Louisiana (HUGE Cheap Pop)

Chad: Can we offer you a lift? You could travel back to the arena with us if you really wanted to.

BSFJ: I'd love that

Zane: I didn't........ Whatever. Lets get in and get going then.

Chad: Of COURSE you can stay at my place tonight.

~~~She giggles, they get in the car and Zane fires it up. The engine does indeed purr like a kitten and Zane turns left onto Floyd Curl Drive as we fade..... ~~~

[BookerShark]

SFJ: Lionheart, this week, we’ve seen Mai Muyo doing...well, I don’t know how to describe what she’s trying to do. She’s been seen talking with JP Sparxx, and also with Firewoman and Crowing. You’ve had your sights on Mai for a while, so what do you think about her recent actions?

Evans: I’ve been seeing what Mai’s been doing this week, how she’s been playing mindgames, and playing the whole innocent Catholic schoolgirl act. When it comes to fucking with someone’s mind, Mai learned from the best. Hell, Eco practically made that an art-form. So whatever she’s trying to do with any of us, its not working on me.

And speaking of not working, that goes for Soaring Eagle’s so-called intimidation factor. So Soaring Eagle doesn’t trust me? Listen Squanto, I couldn’t give two shits about what you or anyone around here thinks of me. You want to cave in Psykle’s skull, then by all means, go for it. And if you try to make an example out of me, well, you know how that one’s gonna end. Spoiler for ya: The New Guard winds up beating the living shit out of you.

*Evans appears distracted by something off-camera*

E: Hey, is..that...? Yeah, interview’s over now.

SFJ: But what about...

E: Interview’s over.

*Evans walks over to a mystery girl, who has her back turned away from the camera*

E: Hey baby, what’s going on? How you doing, Spence?

*The girl turns around, to reveal her as being Spencer Darling*

SD: Oh God, just...I don’t know what you want, just keep away from me, you creep.

E: Creep? Oh come on, don’t be that way, babe. Being a Darling, I know you’d rather be with a guy like myself. So just get away from those D&D losers, and join up with a winner.

SD: What, you mean the same “winner” who lost his title a few weeks back?

Evans is taken back by this for a second, but just shrugs it off.

E: Heh, that’s pretty good. Almost as good as your ass was looking from back there. So what do you say we get out of here, maybe hit up a bar, somewhere better than that joke of a hangout you guys call the Destroyatorium.

*Spencer slaps Evans*

E: Ah, so you like it rough, eh? Figures, I mean you did hang around Fire for all this time, so it seems like some of that rubbed off on you.

SD: You..you just keep the fuck away from me, you hear me, you sicko?

E: Oh you can deny it all you want. You can’t truly deny what you’re thinking, though.

*Evans turns to leave. He turns his head back, winks at Spencer and blows her a kiss*

E: Drink & Destroy is on life-support, and we’re just getting started. Join us, or go down with them. But then again, with you being a Darling, you already have a lot of experience with going down, don’t you?

Spencer slaps Evans again. Evans gets ready to punch her. Spencer braces for the hit, but Evans holds back right before doing so. He simply chuckles, gives her a kiss on the cheek, and walks away laughing, while Spencer looks visibly shaken

*fade to black*

[BookerShark]

Ricky Soaring Eagle marches down the hall he reaches the New Guard locker room and barges in. He finds Chris Evans sitting alone.

“Hey look, it’s Squanto. What’s up?”

Without a word, Ricky clocks him upside his head with the tire iron. Evans collapses to the floor writhing in pain, blood pooling on the floor beside him.

“Yeah, I know. This will bring the rest of your little bitches after me. Ask me if I give a fuck. I’ve been beaten up by better men than any of you shitheads. You want payback? I’m not hard to find. You want to be a total douchebag, I don’t care. You want to hurl racial insults at me, there will be repercussions.

Ricky overturns the chair Evans was sitting in on top of him.

“See you Wednesday, partner”

[BookerShark]

SFJ: Lionheart, this week, we’ve seen Mai Muyo doing...well, I don’t know how to describe what she’s trying to do. She’s been seen talking with JP Sparxx, and also with Firewoman and Crowing. You’ve had your sights on Mai for a while, so what do you think about her recent actions?

Evans: I’ve been seeing what Mai’s been doing this week, how she’s been playing mindgames, and playing the whole innocent Catholic schoolgirl act. When it comes to fucking with someone’s mind, Mai learned from the best. Hell, Eco practically made that an art-form. So whatever she’s trying to do with any of us, its not working on me.

Mai walks into the room where Evans has just been laid out with the tire iron.

Mai: Yes, why should someone play complicated games with your mind, Chris, when they can just smack it upside the head with a tire iron?

Evans: Don't you even...

Mai: Don't worry, I called over the paramedic team. Unlike you, I really don't like suffering. But I figured you wouldn't be doing anything for these couple minutes, so I could pop by and say hello.

Evans glares at Mai, but still appears to be woozy as she takes a cloth and wipes away the blood from his face.

Mai: It's a shame, Chris...I really wanted to be the one to take that awarded Intercontinental Title from you. But it looks like the big bad biker man and our First American friend have been taking care of that work already.

So instead, I have your running buddy Mr. Sparxx this week, in a match for his Onslaught Championship. I'm truly looking forward to it, truly blessed to have this match. And when I see JP across the ring...I'll be seeing your face as well. Except of course, with the difference that JP knows how to treat a woman.

Mai finishes wiping Evans's wound, and whips out her cell phone camera taking a picture of Evans's groggy face above the pool of blood. The paramedics finally come into the room.

Mai: Now that the picture is more sanitized, I'm sure texting this to Spence will cheer her up. And now, I leave you to the professionals. Too-do-loo! Feel better, really!

Mai exits.

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Ghosthead is roaming the shadows of the upper deck of the empty venue where an OOWF crew is setting up for tonight's house show. Ghosthead sits in one of the empty seats and observes the proceedings for a few minutes. Soon his wife appears in the entrance closest to him. She scans the darkness, and soon lays eyes on her husband three rows down, sitting on the left aisle seat. She walks down, scoots past, and sits in the empty seat next to him.*

Shannon - Jared.

GH - Wife.

Shannon - It took some time, but I found it.

GH - And how is that working out for you?

Shannon - Not... like I expected.

GH - Few things do.

Shannon - You're not... upset with me, are you?

GH - No. I know the woman I married. It would be foolish for me to be upset by your absence.

Shannon - I missed you too.

GH - The OOWF has proven to be a complicated beast.

Shannon - I told you. This place is not like any other wrestling fed.

GH - To put it lightly. Nonetheless, I will thrive here and die trying.

Shannon - You mean "or" die trying, right.

GH - I mean what I say.

Shannon - Jared, don't be Ghosthead around me.

GH - You apparently do not know me as I know you.

*Shannon sits in silence for a few moments allowing her husband's words to hang in the air.*

Shannon - Metaphors are great for promos Jared until they become literal.

GH - Meaning?

Shannon - You could literally die trying. This is not a game.

GH - It's your safety that concerns me.

Shannon - Really? I worked here for a year and a half.

GH - There has already been an attempt.

Shannon - What? I just got here.

GH - It was during your absence, a case of mistaken identity... but their target was you.

Shannon - Who is they?

GH - The New Guard.

Shannon - They're still around?

GH - Indeed.

Shannon - Why would they target me? Are you at war with them?

GH - I am not. There have been some... altercations... but I do not object to their existence. I have a match with a New Guard member tomorrow.

Shannon - Which one?

GH - The World Champion.

Shannon - I assume that's still Stan Fulton?

GH - Indeed.

Shannon - You're in a championship match with him? That's great!

GH - It's non-title.

Shannon - oh.

GH - The Bloody Wolf, and LD Williams are also in it.

Shannon - OH.

GH - It is always good to face Lobo. I do so enjoy hurting him. I have never truly tested myself with LD Williams in combat. I look forward to that challenge. Fulton I have faced before. I nearly defeated him.

Shannon - For the title?

GH - Yes.

Shannon - What happened?

GH - Fulton is strong. I underestimated his will not to lose. His lackey distracted me, and I compensated, but it wasn't enough. I was not pleased, hence the altercation I had with them, and my concern for your safety. They targeted you once just to get attention and that was without provocation from me. Since then there have been actions by me which can be construde as provocation and THIS time... you are present.

Shannon - Should I leave?

GH - That would be wise... but knowing you, a suggestion in futility.

Shannon - Are you trying to say I'm not wise?

GH - There is no winning that argument.

Shannon - You do know me.

GH - I can not afford for you to get hurt, wife. The distraction would prove too costly.

Shannon - I'll be fine... besides... anyone wishing to harm me would not only have you to deal with.

GH - They do not fear that. It was not my intention to apply a great weight to this concern. Of greater worry is your affect on me.

Shannon - In what way?

GH - Already I feel Ghosthead slipping away.

Shannon - Good.

GH - How can you say that?

Shannon - Jared... you don't need to be him.

GH - I thought you understood. In Mexico, in Japan... we were of one mind, one strength.

Shannon - We've talked about this... you told me you had it under control.

GH - I do... but then you left, and now you're back... and I look into your eyes and I see...

*Ghosthead closes his eyes as Shannon places her hands on either side of his face. When Ghosthead opens his eyes they take on a darker shade. He speaks without emotion.*

GH - Wife.

*Shannon recoils, a look of concern marring her face.*

Shannon - I... I can't do this again, Jared.

GH - DO NOT CALL ME THAT! I am THE GHOSTHEAD KILLER, THE DEATHKNELL!

*Shannon does not overtly react to Ghosthead's outburst. The ring crew down below however do as they stop what they are doing and look up into the shadows above, searching the upper deck for the source of the commotion.*

GH - You must partake of the shade once again.

*Shannon responds without emotion.*

Shannon - I can't.

GH - You must.

*Shannon looks deeply into Ghosthead's eyes. She cannot look away.*

Shannon - I... I will.

GH - Good... our survival here depends on it.

*Shannon closes her eyes. A moment later, she jerks her head and opens her eyes wide with a gasp.*

GH - What did you see?

Shannon - I... I saw...

GH - The Blood Moon.

Shannon - Does... does sh-?

GH - She does not know.

Shannon - What about-?

*Ghosthead shakes his head in the negative.*

GH - He awaits it like I do, though I don't know what he believes. It is a distraction.

Shannon - I don't want to be here.

GH - Shannon... you just said-

Shannon - I KNOW what I said. Let me finish... I don't want to be here, but I will stay... because I now realize what has to be done.

GH - No more talk of-

Shannon - You won't hear any more objections from me.

GH - I doubt that.

Shannon - Trust me. I know my role.

Fade