OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (04/25) Live! From Philadelphi

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Rabbit Mask vs. Ghosthead

Best of Three Series for the War Games Man Advantage[/u]
Mai Muyo vs. Psykle
Danny Taylor & Crowing vs. Matt Folz & Stan Fulton
El Lobo Sangriento & LD Williams vs. Chris Evans & JP Sparxx

Tag Team Mayhem Tournament - Winning Team Gets to Pick Stips for a Future Title Match[/u]
Aina & Alexander Darling vs. Honcho Williams & Zane Myers
Firewoman & Chad Madison vs. The Kai & Attitude Adjuster
Winner vs. Winner

Chain Match[/u]
Moosehead Jack vs. Comrade Sharkoff

DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title #1 Contender Strap Match[/u]
Stank vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle

card subject to cheese steak overdose

[BookerShark]

Fire and Alex are backstage. Fire is still STORMING~! and Alex is still FOLLOWING~!

AD: I know you're frustrated, but taking it out on the fans, Fire?

FW: Not just any fan. THAT one.

AD: Still...

FW: You know...just don't talk to me.

They reach their suite, and Fire slams open the door. Lucky does not actually jump, although Quorra and Dr. Freedman do. Lucky is clearly expecting it.

FW: You all. Leave.

Lucky and Quorra immediately get up to leave. Dr. Freedman sits there looking a bit confused, and Lucky and Quorra each take an arm and get him out of his chair, and they leave. Fire slams the door behind them, cutting Alex off in his attempt to leave.

AD: I thought you wanted to be alone for the furniture smashing.

FW: No. No smashing.

AD: Oh?

FW: You want to win the tag belts--

AD: Not championships?

FW: Not right now, Alex....you want to win them, right?

AD: Of course.

FW: Then we need to start acting as a team. I mean...we just lost to...Honcho never shows for pre-show tapings, or fan meet and greets...Attitude Adjuster is...well....Attitude Adjuster. In no conceivable universe do we lose that match.

AD: I don't know what you want, Fire. We run every morning, weights three to four times a week, then ring work...

FW: It's not that stuff...

AD: Our technique is sound.

FW: It's more than that. Think...all the teams that have held those belts.

AD: Champ....I mean...what about them?

FW: They weren't just impeccable in the ring...they were together. REALLY together.

AD: Fire...I don't think we could get any MORE together...

FW: Not that. I mean promoed together...public appearances...interviews. There's no promo that Texpress, or Weapon X, or even those idiots BKK were in individually. Always as a team.

AD: We've done...some of that....

FW: But not a lot. You just did a solo interview with Quorras.

AD: There's no S. And you hate interviews.

FW: You know what I hate more than interviews? LOSING!

AD: ...

FW: ...

AD: So....

FW: So this is it, Alex. No more lone wolf. No more you against the world.

AD: I'm not--

FW: You are. And you have been. I know you're used to only relying on Alexis, but she's gone right now. I know I'm not her..

AD: Fire....it's not a competition.

FW: But I am your tag team partner, and if you're serious...REALLY serious about this championship, there CAN'T be only one anymore.

Alex doesn't quite know what to say, and Firewoman grabs her bag and starts to go.

AD: Wait...you're ready to go already? Let me get--

FW: No...I think I'm going to go on to Philly ahead of you.

AD: So...you're walking out right now to prove we have to be on the same page of togetherness?

FW: Something like that. Besides, I think I owe you one.

Firewoman storms out, leaving Alex to think about all that.

[BookerShark]

A reporter tracks down the new OOWF Onslaught Champion, Rabbit Mask. He is outside the arena, leaning against a wall, smoking what is left of the joint he rolled a short while earlier.

R: Rabbit Mask, congratulations on the win!

RM: Hey, thanks, guy. It was a cakewalk, you know. When you're the best wrestler in the world, things like this come easy to you.

R: Best wrestler in the world?

RM: You got it. I beat two of the brightest stars this company has to offer in one match.

R: Well, to be fair, you did beat the champion, but he was the one who actually beat Ghosthead.

RM: Did you watch the match, guy? Did Crowing yank Ghosthead off the top to pin him? No, I yanked him off the top. I just let that fucker Crowing get the cover. And then, two moves later, I'm the OOWF Onslaught Champion. And things are almost right in the world.

R: Almost?

RM: There's still Ghosthead.

R: Yea, Ghosthead has said that...

RM: I've heard what Ghosthead has said. It's bullshit. I didn't decide that this was personal. He attacked others, sure, but not like he attacked me. I don't know if you remember... Hell, I barely remember... just how severe it was. My skull was cracked. My brain was swelling. My career... my fucking life was uncertain. And he wants me to just brush it off? Because it wasn't personal? Well, when someone tries to end my being, I take it a little bit personal. Ghosthead, I've finally got you where I want you. I know you think you can beat me. I know you think you can escape with your spinal cord still straight. But that... that's just hilarious.

Rabbit Mask smiles as he takes one last huge hit from his joint. He exhales and laughs as we fade to black.

[BookerShark]

(Scene: The Peachtree Road Super 8 Hotel in Atlanta. Wyatt Cox is on his Straight Talk cell phone)

Nonono, Mrs al-Takriti, I was honestly as upset as she was. Some rowdy fan heard about my comments and handed me the sign right as the match ended. I had no idea she would think that I would do such a thing. She's honestly the best woman wrestler in the world today, and easily top ten of all wrestlers, well, before this streak. I honestly believe if she could get her head back in the game...what's so funny. Oh, no, I never meant that. Sure, I understand. Nope, not a problem. In fact, I think a trip to Philly would give me a chance to talk to Al Gardner about his new talk station there. Really, All Hannity all the Time? That would be like Spike TV running a Wizards of Waverly Place marathon. Oh, nonono, not that it would be bad over on Disney, just out of place on Spike. Anyway, maybe I could work something out with them to come in next week. I'd love to. Oh, don't give that a second thought. She's just going through a little slump, and honestly, her charity work and personal appearances are so good for the image, between her and Texpress and LD, you're out there more than the other guys.
Well, maybe that was a little out of line. After all, it's been more than 25 years since I was in the ring regularly, and 20 years since I even announced. Oh yeah, that RSPWF gig? That was just for a couple of episodes when they were on the way out anyway. Wait, that was 16 years ago. How did you...Poe? Really? Well thank him for me, I'm flattered. Certainly, I'll see you next week then.

Oh by the way, did you get those Presidential Collection jelly beans I sent over? Oh yeah, quite the concept. Just be careful with the 90's editions. Those Bush broccoli bean are a little rugged. Really? OK, I'll arrange it for you. Oh, no problem. We'll talk again soon. Certainly, all the best!

(Wyatt hangs up his phone, chuckles, then calls another number)

Good evening, Cheryl. No, I'm fine, she just got upset. Someone played a little joke on the both of us. Although it does have me thinking this could be just what we've needed. I'll call you later on the details. For now, get on to Super 8 and get me a room in Philadelphia, then call Al Gardner at 106.9 in Philadelphia and let him know I'll be in town Tuesday through Thursday and see if he can recommend a studio to do the show. Yeah, tell him why I'm there. Who knows? And send Mrs al-Takriti three jars of the Clinton Collection Jelly Beans. Yeah, me too. Oh, that insurance rider, definitely extend it. And call Ms Danger in Las Vegas. I may need some tips before it's all over with. I owe her and Ares dinner anyway. I'll call you later. Yes dear, Lab Kita!

(Wyatt hangs up the phone)

Who knew Selina was a cigar girl?

[BookerShark]

A roving RNSFJ finds Crowing trashing one of the dressing rooms with extreme prejudice...

RNSFJ: Crowing, do you have anything...

Crowing: (Turns after launching a cooler across the room, bottles of sports drink and ice exploding impressively off the far wall.) What the actual fuck? So I lose my belt, the Onslaught belt after Rabbit doesn't give me time to get up? That sucks. Then this week, I don't even get a rematch but Ghosthead gets a shot? Fuck THAT.

RNSFJ: I'm sensing some anger here. You do have an important role to play in the run up to War Games...

Crowing: Anger, no this isn't anger. This is RAGE. Oh, you#'d better believe I'll be focussed this week. I like Danny and it's a pleasure to tag with him. I'll work out my anger on Fulton and Folz... who has had a real beating coming for a while and then I'll make sure our darling GM gives me my rematch for the Onslaught title.

RNSFJ: Don't you worry that your... emotional state might affect your judgement?

Crowing: (breathes deeply and fixes the RNSFJ with an icy cold gaze) I am Crowing, the Morrigan of the OOWF, the Death Spectre, the Angel of the Abyss. I don't do random backstage assaults based on petty anger, I leave that for amateurs. I wreak vengeance fuelled by rage, served cold and harsh. Believe me when i say that I will wipe the New Guard's blood off my hands and reclaim my belt, all in good time. Quote me.

[BookerShark]

FADE in on the OOWF New Guard logo. A voiceover says, “The following announcement is paid for by the OOWF New Guard™.”

FADE to black, then FADE in on The Crusher Stan Fulton, Jaime McAllister and OOWF Intercontinental Champion Matt Folz.

MF: “Just like old times, Stan.”

SF: “That they are, Matt. You with a title and teaming with me. All we need is Brett Favre playing for the Vikings for this to be a flashback.”

JM: “Really, Stan? You had to go there and upset Matt?”

SF: “It’s what I do. I’m the OOWF’s resident button pusher. I’m having tights made that say “Troll” on the back. I’ll wander around backstage and say random things to get others riled up.”

MF: “Not going to work. As far as I’m concerned Aaron Rodgers has always been the Packers quarterback.”

JM: “Can we get onto this promo?”

SF: “Sure, let’s go.”

JM: “I’m here with OOWF Intercontinental Champion Matt Folz and his tag team partner this week, Stan Fulton. Matt, you face Dynamite Danny Taylor and Crowing this week. Any thoughts?”

MF: “Jaime, Crowing is making a lot of caw caw noises about bringing the rage, blah blah blah. Chris... can I call you Chris? Chris, I’ve been around a long time.”

SF: “The grandfather clause in action. Hi-yoooooo!”

MF: “Shut it, Ed. Chris, I’ve been in the ring with people that wanted to end my life, not just hurt me. I’m still here, alive and kickin’ with the OOWF Intercontinental Championship around my waist. You’re not frightening me with all this furniture throwing. Leave that for the professionals like Firewoman.”

SF: “It's Beamish Stouts at Beltane!”

MF: “And I’ve got the biggest man in the OOWF backing me up. So you bring your rage and your mute giant and we’ll have a big ol’ slobberknocker.”

SF: “Knockin’ the slob since 2009!”

JM: “That sounds dirty.”

SF: “No, that’s slobbin’ the knob. That’s dirty. Which if I remember from my tag teams days with Matt, he knows you're in heat and you and he should start heading to his room.”

MF: “Seriously?! Did you want me to kick your ass right here on live TV?”

JM: “I’d pay to see that.”

SF: “Which is the reverse from the way it usually happens right?”

Fulton ducks a swing by both Folz and McAllister and backs away laughing as we...

FADE

[BookerShark]

(Scene: Wyatt Cox in a generic radio studio)

Good morning, it's American Sunrise for a Thursday, the 19th day of April, coming to you today from Atlanta Georgia and the studios of Talk 920. I want to apologize last night for those of you who may have tuned in to watch the OOWF's Midweek Mayhem. I really wasn't intending to be a part of that match, and honestly, I wasn't. It's just that, once again, the lack of focus by one of the best athletes in the OOWF cost her a Tag Team title opportunity. One of the top rules of the wrestling business is Never Underestimate your opponents, particularly when they are gimmicky pseudo-facey heels.

(A door opens, and Kayfabe attempts to enter the studio, but is tackled by the old Security guard)

Wow, if that's who I thought it was, her mom wasn't nearly that cute. But she was faster...
Anyway, Attitude Adjuster and Honcho Williams are certainly not the comedy act everyone thought they were, and they are for real! Now the Darlings had their flashes of brilliance last night, but once again, Mrs Darling couldn't keep her head in the match and one of her old conquests took her and her husband out of the contest.
It's ironic, isn't it, that someone that she got in the head of years ago, not only got her back by tricking her into marrying her currant hubby, but made both of the nearly Six Pack winners look like members of Al Snow's Job Squad.
Now this week Mrs Darling teams with another former squeeze of hers, Chad Madison, in a Tag Team mayhem tournament. I can imagine that those training sessions will result in a lot of – shall we say – mat time...

In addition to that match, there's a best of three contest to determine the man advantage in the War Games match at Territorial Beatings just ten days away, Rabbit Mask faces Ghosthead in an unlikely OOWF Onslaught title match, Stank and Ricky Soaring Eagle face off in a DDT Iron Man number one contenders match, while the DDT Champ jerks more than the curtain as he faces off against Comrade Sharkoff in a Chain match. That's next Wednesday night as OOWF Midweek Mayhem comes to you live from Philadelphia. Consult your local listings for details.

Originally I wasn't planning to travel again as I just don't enjoy it as much as I used to, though I'm sure there's one person in the OOWF that really enjoys the air travel, particularly the TSA patdowns...oh, but now she travels in her husband's private jet, doesn't she....

Anyway, we were invited back this week personally by OOWF general manager Selena al-Takriti, and thanks to our friends at Great Lakes Airlines and Frontier Airlines, we will be on hand for the night of action. Hopefully, though, in a minimal role if any.

We'll get to the day's news in a moment, but I want to say a word about the Presidential Jelly Bean collection. Some of the Presidents favorite flavors from the past fifty years. Enjoy the Gerald Ford bubble Gum and Bacon flavors, the Jimmy Carter Peanut and Beer flavors, the Bush the Elder Broccoli and Spring Roll flavors, and the Obama Pizza flabors. Unique flavors from the last ten presidencies. For more information go to our webpage, AmericanSunriseRadio dot com.

Now this important word and we'll be back with the day's news.


(A Ron Paul ad www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqRPZmUvhaM runs while Wyatt picks up his Straight Talk cell phone)
Good morning Cheryl. No, you worry too much, nothing's going to happen. Did you call Ms Danger? Good, ask her if she's free to travel for a few days, I may have some people she needs to work with. I'll call you later. It seems that Mrs al-Takriti has me under observation. Never mind how I know....Lab Kita my dear...

(Wyatt hangs up the phone and throws a bottle of Deja Blue at the cameraman and we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

Alexander Darling is cleaning up his dressing room after Firewoman storms out (it's almost like a post traumatic stress disorder response), when he hears a slow clapping coming from the doorway. He looks up to see Aina doing the slow clap and immediately gets into a defensive posture.

Aina: No need. Brah. I'm not lolo enough to take out my partner this week.

AD: Then I'll see you Wednesday. You can get out.

Aina does not "get out" and instead plops down on one of the nice couches.

Aina: Ya know...brah? I gotta hand it to you. You two lasted a lot longer than I thought you would have.

AD: I'm not discussing my marriage with you.

Aina: I mean a better man would have left her crazy ass after liek two months of this shit, but you...

Darling moves towards Aina, who quickly holds his hands up.

Aina: My bad. My bad. I'm in no position to judge anyone about their choices in women. But then again, I'm not as trusting as you.

AD: What's that supposed to mean?

Aina: Well. Brah. We're teaming, so Firewoman has a partner too. And you know who that is.

AD: Chad. They're good friends and...what?

Aina: Yeah. Good friends. If that's what you wanna call it. Brah.

AD: You're an asshole.

Aina: Well, what would you rather her do? Go get drunk and start a bar brawl? Or go train with her new, ahem, partner?

AD: She's gonan be ready for Mayhem and she'll give your "bruddah" and AA everything they can handle.

Aina: And I'm sure in training, Chad will wanna give her everything she can handle, if you know what I mean.

AD: Still an asshole.

Aina: Think about it. Brah. Doing moves and spots. Hands all over each other. Both slick with sweat. Body temperature's rising. A German suplex with a slipped hand turns to cupping...

AD: GET THE FUCK OUT!

Aina: Touch a nerve? Brah?

Darling stands face to face with Aina. Darling has a glare of rage-filled intensity, while Aina has a real dickish smirk.

Aina: You bring THAT Alexander Darling to Mayhem this week? We'll do fine. I got your back this week. Partner. But if you bring any other version of you? And we lose? I'm gonna rip you apart like a prawn.

Darling says nothing, just glares and breathes heavily like he's about to boil over.

Aina> Damn. Brah. You need to get laid.

Aina backs out of the dressing room.

Aina: A hui hou kakou. Pomaika`i

[BookerShark]

We come up in the Destroyatorium, where we see Dynamite Danny Taylor and El Lobo Sangriento sitting at a table enjoying some cold ones. Ashley comes over and places a box down on the table.

Ashley: Package for you Danny.

Danny raises an eyebrow in question.

Ashley: Don't know, but it's from Davin.

Danny looks surprised, and cautiously unwraps the box. He looks inside, and his eyebrows rise. He pulls out a keyboard with a small screen and speakers attached to it.

Lobo: Is that Davins speech-box. (chuckles) You have to try it out.

Danny types hello into it.

Speech-box: Davin Moreland is the greatest of all time.

Everyone stops, looking at the machine in confusion. Danny types hello again.

Speech-box: Davin Moreland is your favorite wrestler.

Ashley just chuckles at this and heads off to get another round. At this point Crowing enters still in a foul mood. He makes a bee line for Danny and Lobo. Danny sees him coming and types hello Crowing into the machine.

Speech-box: Davin Moreland has the best hair in the history of pro wrestling.

This stops Crowing in his tracks momentarily forgetting his anger.

Crowing: What?

Lobo: It's better not to ask.

LD Williams and Psykle enter the bar and come over as Crowing takes a seat at the table, and Ashley puts a fresh round of drinks down. Danny types hello champ into the machine.

Speech-box: LD Williams is a fraud.

Everyone comes to a standstill, and Danny's eyes widen in shock.

LD: Gift from Davin?

Danny nods slowly.

LD: It's funny.

LD sits down and starts enjoying his drink. At this point Vic walks over and lays down a file. Pictures of the New Guard spill out of it. Danny types Jerks into the machine.

Speech-box: Davin Moreland has amazing sexual prowe.....

Danny quickly cuts power to the machine, his face turning red. Lobo and Psykle both lose it with laughter. LD chuckles, and even Crowing gets a small smirk on his face.

DVD: Okay, enough with the fun, let's get serious.

Danny nods and motions for him to continue as the rest settle down.

DVD: War Games is just around the corner. A chance for all of to face the New Guard on even terms, with no where for them to run. Having the advantage going into that would be a big boon for us.

Everyone at the table nods in agreement.

DVD: This past week, Psykle got to see the advantage of us working together, and Lobo suffered when we did not. We have to be on the same page. For too long we have been trying to take them on one on one, while they have attacked en mass. This is no longer an option.

Lobo: That's not entirely true Vic, we have been unified against them for quite a while.

DVD: Have we really Lobo? Sure we show up whenever someone is being beaten down, but in between that time? How often have we actually sat down and planned our next phase of attack?

No one answers as they realize that they really have not.

DVD: I can guarantee that the New Guard have always got a next move in mind to cause us pain and suffering.

Psykle: So you are saying you want us to be like the New Guard.

DVD: No, I want you guys to be better. The New Guard are not pushovers, but look around this room. Crowing, as Firechild you helped pioneer the Onslaught division, and raised some holy hell in the early days of the OOWF. Psykle you overcame manipulation and have established yourself as one of the foundations of the future for this company. Danny, Lobo, you two have taken a cornerstone stable of the OOWF and made it something uniquely your own. And LD, do I really need to run down your resume?

LD: No, but I wouldn't mind if you did.

DVD: Funny. The point is, you have the talent, you have the skill. Now is the time to show it. This week we have three chances to gain Wargames advantage, and three times to lose it as well. I can't tell you what you need to do to prepare. You all should all ready know. The New Guard wants to continue to have their way without repercussions. That can't be allowed to stand. It's up to each of you at this table to draw the line in the sand. The proverbial ball is in your court gentlemen, what happens next is in your hands.

Each man says nothing, but merely looks around to his gathered allies for this upcoming war.

DVD: Ash, poor up another round babe, I think the boys have some thinking to do.

FADE

[BookerShark]

GM Selena is PACING~ in front of the OOWF security team, snapping a riding crop in her hand.

GMSa-T: Listen up security dudes, we almost had a bad thing happen last week. An invited guest nearly got assaulted by one of our wrestlers.

One of the guards raises his hand.

GMSa-T: Yes...um...Doug?

SecG: Don.

Selena smacks him with the riding crop.

GMSa-T: I like the name Doug, now what do you want?

SecG: Firewoman is out of control. We can't sto...

Selena starts smacking him with the riding crop again.

GMSa-T: Kai?

Kai pokes his head from the corner.

Kai: IT DOESN'T MATTER! WHAT YOU THINK!

GMSa-T: Thanks!

Kai: The Kai is off to find some pie.

GMSa-T: Find me some blueberry!

Kai: The Kai does not want to know what blue pie would look like!

GMSa-T: Anyway, no matter who our wrestlers are and their current state of mind...or lack thereof, it's YOUR job to protect the fans! While I think random fan beatdowns would be kinda awesome, our insurance forwns upon that kinda stuff, so NO!

GMSa-T: Any questions?

The security team look at each other, clearly concerned about getting beat with the riding crop.

GMSa-T: Good. Mr. Wyatt Cox is NOT to be harmed on your watch or I'll fire all of you! Now, Dougie!

Security Guard Don steps forward.

GMSa-T: On your knees.

Don gets down on all fours. Selena climbs onto his back.

GMSa-T: To my office Seabiscuit!

Selena starts to whip him with the riding crop.

GMSa-T: Run! Run! Run!

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad Madison and Zane Myers are sitting in catering, enjoying a Ric’s Sub Shoppe Sandwich ($4 Footlongs All Night Long, fat boy!) ~~~

Zane: .. At least we aren’t facing off in the opening match.

Chad: True. But you know Fire and I are winning this thing.

Zane: Oh really? And why would that be.

Chad: Chemistry, duh. We’ve teamed together recently.

Zane: As a trio. With me. And we lost.

Chad: So?

Zane: Alex and Aina, same thing, except they won.

Chad: Yeah, but they hate each other now. And we don’t

Zane: I like Honcho. And getting him away from Capps won’t hurt our chances.

Chad: Except we poured Aquafina on his head last week.

Zane: That was just fun.

~~~ Alexander Darling walks over to the table. ~~~

Chad: Alex.

Alex: Chad, I want you to know I’ll be watching you very closely this week.

Zane: Seriously, Alex you’re letting Aian of all people in your head?

Chad: How can I make it clearer. Lisa and I are just friends. Yes, there was a time where I had a thing for her, but that is past. You may not like me, but I still consider you a friend. I don’t chase married women and a certainly wouldn’t break the Guy Code.

Alex: If you say so.

Zane: Are you still holding a grudge from 3 years ago?

Alex: I might be.

Zane: You’ve been accepted by the fans, despite some of the things you did in your early tenure in the OOWF. I remember, because we were already here. So why can’t you accept Chad is not the same man he was back then either?

~~~ Alex stares at Zane intensely for a few tense moments. ~~~

Alex: Fine. He’s not the same. See you in the ring this week boys. Just know this. My wife and I will be fulfilling our destinies Next Sunday. I’d advise you to stay out of our way

Chad: We’ll see about that, won’t we.

~~~ Alex turns on the spot and walks away. ~~~

Zane: We really need to do some more pay per view prep this week.

Chad: Already? We have our team workouts this week.

Zane: Yes. As much as I want to win this week, I want to win at Territorial Beatings 7 Live! From Apex Hill, Nunavut ! (Huge Cheap Pop) even more.

Chad: World Tag Team Championships. I like your thinking, partner.

[BookerShark]

~~~ LD Williams awakens the Morning of 4-20, and heads down to catering to get some coffee. He opens the door and sees the dining hall filled to capacity. Every current OOWFer is seated at various tables, along with dozens of OOWF Alumni. They all break out into applause and give LD a standing ovation.

LD looks around, somewhat confused. Chad and Zane approach him with a large gift box, followed by Danny, Stank, Lobo and Psykle ~~~

LD: What's going on here?

Zane: Its a celebration.

LD: Aboot what?

Chad: Just open the package.

~~~ LD looks wearily at the box, then rips the paper off and opens it up. He slowly extracts a HUGE custom-made title belt, the most ornate one you can imagine. The center plate has the OOWF logo, and "1000" in LARGE numbers across the middle. The side plates list dates of LD's 16 title reigns. ~~~

Zane: When we first arrived here, you were the first person to reach out to us. Chad and I are honored to present this Championship Belt to you commemorating your One Thousand days as a Champion in the OOWF

~~~ The assembled crowd cheers loudly. LD is speechless and stands there in awe. Stank steps forward and shakes his hand, then pulls him in for a big man-hug. Mrs. Williams comes out of the crowd to hug her son as well. ~~~

LD: Wow... Thanks everybody I... I don't know what to say right now. This is an honor.

Stank: Drinks are on him!

~~~ The crowd roars their approval and the party begins. Hopefully, it doesn't degenerate into chaos too quickly, but this is the OOWF after all...~~~

[BookerShark]

Ricky Soaring Eagle is sitting cross-legged on one of the catwalks inside the arena. Everything is dark save for a few security lights hundreds of feet below him. The camera looks down and sees the thousands of empty seats and the partially set up ring.

“Just like I said it would happen Matt, I brutalized you to the point where your little band of butt buddies came to your rescue. I warned you last week, ever blow they hit me with I will be returning to you tenfold. Luck for you, I don’t get my hands on you this week, but very soon, I will complete my mission of bashing your fucking skull in and winning the Intercontinental title. I hope you are ready for the pain little matty, because I will be ready to make you feel every bit of it.

But this week, Stank is the man across the ring from me. In a STRAP MATCH! So our juvenile general manager thinks It’s funny to put the Indian guy in a strap match? Complete Bullshit. I hope you can live with the results of your decision, miss. I hope you are content when I wrap the strap around Stank’s throat, toss him over the top rope and LITERALLY choke the fucking life out of an OOWF legend. His death will be on your hands for putting me in that match to begin with. And I’ll do it, not because I give two shits about being the number one contender to the DDT title, I’ll do it because I will enjoy inflicting that pain. Simone, Ghosthead, I’m sorry for the loss of your brother. But since I don’t get little Matty this week, Your brother will have to

FEEL

HIS

PAIN!”

Ricky stands and leans over the railing of the catwalk, now with a tire iron in hand. He tosses it out as far as he can, and the camera follow as it hits the concrete floor of the arena, bounces several times, damaging several plastic arena seats in the process. As the last clangs echo through the arena and the weapon loses its momentum, we pan up to see Ricky walking down the catwalk out of sight.

[BookerShark]

It is night out and Firewoman is walking. Not WALKING~! Just walking. Because she's also talking on her cell phone. The camera angle shows she is walking around the outside of a deserted Aslyum Arena.

FW: Yeah, no....no, don't wake him....what? No, no, I'm okay...just wanted to talk to......yeah, everything's great....he can call me later if he wants...no big deal.....thanks, Sam.

Firewoman hangs up. Clearly, everything is not great, and Sam probably didn't buy it, either. Fire looks around at the Arena, before turning, leaning her back against the wall, and sliding down to have a seat on the ground. She adjusts her bandana, and leans her head back, closing her eyes.

A shadow falls across her and an arm stretches out, with a cup of coffee. She reaches up without opening her eyes, grabbing it.

Voice: Thought I might find you here. You should try to sleep though, instead of drink more caffeine, but that's not a fight I want to have right now.

The voice is apparently not who Fire expected as she opens her eyes somewhat quickly.

FW: What the...don't you have someone else to haunt?

The camera angle changes to reveal....the ghost of Spin Hansen?

TGoSH: I'm not haunting you, Fire, I'm--

FW: Right...guardian angel....didn't you get your wings this December? Shouldn't you be flitting about the clouds, or whatever?

TGoSH: *laughs* I'm not your guardian angel, but you can consider me her back up. You certainly keep her busy. When she's not dealing with a very fast and dangerous motorcycle ride on little sleep and no helmet to get here, she's wrestling with Him for control of your soul.

FW: You do realize I don't believe a word of that.

TGoSH: Well, she's also not an angel.

FW: That I believe.

TGoSH: I just thought I'd check in, see how it's going.

FW: Some angel. It kinda sucks right now, but if you're here to show me more visions of how great life would be without me, you're wasting your time. I have no intention of checking out anymore, even if the whole thing seems rather pointless.

TGoSH: Good, good to know. You know, I was in a few tag teams.

FW: So I've heard.

TGoSH: Pretty good ones too. But not always.

FW: Do go on.

Fire takes a drink of the coffee, and Spin sits down next to her.

TGoSH: Midnight Sons, Drink and Destroy. We had our glory days.

FW: Congratulations.

TGosH: But not always. We didn't win every match. We had some extended dry spells and --

FW: Look, just...stop....I know how this goes. "Hang in there, Fire, you and Alex will get going." It's not like I don't know that. I'm not a rookie. I've had losing streaks before. I know they happen, and I know they end and everything's glorious. That doesn't mean I have to be happy with it.

TGoSH: You are one of the most successful female wrestlers ever. EVER.

FW: I think there are a few in the Hall of Fame that would disagree with you.

TGoSH: Yes, but they're in there largely for wrestling other women. YOU have held titles in companies where you wrestled MEN. YOU still are the only woman ever signed to a contract to Ring of Honor, in this very building, not just on loan from Shimmer.

FW: *looks around at the building and lot* Yeah...this is a pretty special place. Lots of good things happened here. *she rubs her forehead* Bad, too, but good outweighs it I think.

TGoSH: Alex asked you to form Phoenix Rising here, yeah? Quite the romantic moment.

FW: Yeah. It'll have to do, because I don't remember his actual marriage proposal.

TGoSH: It was....slurred. But then so was your response.

FW: Heh....well, I ... I just thought --

TGoSH: What, because you were partners outside the ring, it'd be easy? You know better than that.

FW: Yeah...yeah, I do....

TGoSH: I promise you, you get through this dry spell and... you will be the first woman EVER to have held all the major titles in a wrestling promotion. Your legacy will be intact.

FW: *She smiles for a second* Spin, I don't care about legacies. I just want to win.

TGoSH: That's how you get a legacy Fire. You've never been afraid to work for something. In fact that's all you've ever done. For everything.

FW: That's just to win though. Legacies are nice, but--

TGoSH: Look...you may not care about legacies, but Jacqueline Rose will someday.

Firewoman has closed her eyes again and is leaning her head back against the wall.

FW: Who the heck is that?

TGoSH: Start wearing your helmet, Fire.

FW: I don't need my ghost or whatever you are to channel my husband, Spin........Spin?

Firewoman opens her eyes and there's no one there.

FW: Oh good. Dreaming. Either that or hallucinating. I'm going to go with dreaming. Then I don't have to explain it to Dr. Freedman.

She sighs and goes to stand up and as she puts her hand down, she it brushes against a still hot cup of coffee. She picks it up, looks around, shakes her head a bit, and takes another drink. She throws the rest in a nearby trashcan. She starts to get on her motorcycle, but hesitates a minute. She grabs the helmet off the back, puts it on, and then hops on her bike and heads toward the OOWF Arena.

[BookerShark]

<We cut to a small private cigar bar in Philly where Stank and LD are sitting, the only two in there, chatting>

Sta: No, you have to remember to get the fertilizer to seed ratio right or you are just going to burn them up

LD: Its so hard, the Canadian winters can be so harsh…

Sta: Which is why I have been saying you should consider a move to the states, better weather, tax breaks……

<before the conversation goes any further, a shadow falls over them and we see Moose standing there. Moose drops an ice cold six pack on the table and lights a cigar. LD kicks a chair out and Moose takes a seat. The tone has definitely changed>

Sta: How did you know?

MHJ: We came here the last time we were in Philly and you both said you liked it. Anyway………<looking at LD> congrats champ, I have always said you are the best in the OOWF, a thousand days just proves that

LD: Look, Moose, the way this has all gone down…..

MHJ: No, not right now. I just wanted to stop by and congratulate you. Your bill is taken care of tonight, on me……….both of you

<Moose gets up and looks at Stank and seems to have a faraway look in his eyes, he slowly closes his eyes and grabs the side of his head, clearly He is talking again. Moose holds his head harder and just says “no” softly before turning and leaving the room without another word. There is a long silence between LD and Stank, finally Stank breaks the silence>

Sta: What happened to him?

<LD is silent for a long time, then answers>

LD: Nothing

Sta: Nothing? How can you say that? Look at him! He is letting Him control him! How is this any different than what Eco tried to do to Fire?

LD: How does He benefit from Moose being Moose?

Sta: He gets some sick pleasure out of leading Moose down that road

LD: The same sick pleasure that Moose gets from doing the things he does?

Sta: I………well………I guess so. Wait, are you saying I SHOULDN’T do this now? I thought you agreed with me!

LD: <shaking his head> I don’t know what I believe right now. Moose has always been on the edge, but something, Him? I don’t know, has pushed him over the edge…….it’s just different now. With Crete, with Alex, with Drink and Destroy……there was a predictable fury, you knew that he was going to do something reckless and dangerous, you could see it coming……..now……I mean, he could have spiked you instead of Sharkoff, why didn’t he?

Sta: Because he, and He, knows I would have killed that son of a bitch

LD: No…..it’s not that. Neither Moose or Him are afraid of you or your retribution. Moose wouldn’t hesitate if it was he wanted, you know that. There is something else going on here, I am starting to wonder if it is really Him calling the shots…..or if there is a Him at all, or if this is just really Moose

<Stank and LD sit in silence for a moment, puffing their cigars and drinking the beer Moose left>

Sta: What makes a man like Moose LD? What makes him do the things he does? I mean, we have all had our share of fucked up things happen, what makes him go so far?

LD: <after thinking for a minute> A man like Moose has got a great empty hole right through the middle of him and no matter what he does he can’t ever fill it. He can’t cause enough mayhem or hate enough or inflict enough pain to ever fill it. And it drives him mad. Sick mad. Batshit crazy.

Sta: So what does he want?

LD: What does he want? He wants revenge

Sta: Revenge? For what?

LD: <finally looking at Stank> For being born

<Stank is quiet for a minute, staring off into space. He drinks his beer and cracks open another before finally looking at LD>

Sta: Remember when I said it all happened so fast with my father, I didn’t even have time to think about it? Well, I’ve had plenty of time to think about this, all this with Moose. I spent most of my career not knowing what I want, just chasing the next fight, spending my time hating. But now, for the first time I know exactly what I want. And what I have to do. And that’s the damnable misery of it.

<Stank takes a long drink, then looks at LD again>

Sta: I can’t beat him, can I?

<LD stares at Stank for a long time>

LD: No. You can beat him, you can pin him, but you are never going to get rid of Him…….unless you kill him.

<we cut to a dirty deserted back alley somewhere in Philly, where Moose is sitting among the garbage, leaning against a fence, a bottle of booze by his side. Moose pulls the barbed wire charm from his pocket and runs his fingers across it, then squeezes it in his hand until blood runs out his fist and down his arm. He closes his eyes and takes a long drink, then slumps over, clearly in pain and grabs his head. Moose speaks in a whisper, almost like he is singing>

Once we were young…..
Then it was gone….
Once there were Five….
But that’s no more…..
Once I was a Saint……
But that went away….
Once I was sane……
He won’t let that happen again……

<fade>

[BookerShark]

(Wyatt Cox settles in for a long rest at his home in East Ely, Nevada. As he gingerly settles down in the recliner where he hopes to get a few hours sleep before he catches up on all the work missed this week, he spots -- a ninjacam?)

Again? Those Right Guard boys must be boring as hell.
OK, sit. Want some green tea? I’m afraid it’s that or southern sweet tea. Best part of going to Atlanta was the shopping to pick up sweet tea and boiled peanuts. These days it’s about as close as I get to anything -- mind-altering, shall we say.

Looks like your boss is going to all kinds of trouble to keep Mrs Darling from geting her hands on me. I gues Mrs al-Takriti and her husband are better hosts than I thought.

So, ninja, sweeting, what’s your pleasure. Old school promo, full Flair fire, or just straight from the shoulder.
Never mind, I don’t have either of the first two in me.

I want to thank the folks in the OOWF for their kindness and openness in welcoming an old man into their fold. I enjoy the interaction, and it is a true delight.

I also want to speak directly to you, Mrs Darling. Away from my radio audience, just you, me, and the millions (Crowd echo-“And Millions”) ---- how the hell do they do that. Anyway, those at home watching on OOWF TV.

I’m sure by now that your super snoop Lucky has found out everything about my past. How I bypassed a music scholarship to perform in a small Indy promotion in Kansas. How the little bit of money I made in the ring combined with agressive marketing of the promotion put me through college with a communications degree. How for over fifteen years a small promotion resisted buyout offer after buyout offer. Finally, in 1990 I folded the promotion and turned over what little assets we had to Bert Prentice who destroyed what took years to build in a matter of months.
I turned my back on wrestling, built my career with a series of national radio gigs, ending up in Las Vegas, but always watching the wrestling business out of the corner of my eye.
I got the offers to make a comeback, but the travel, the pain, it just didn’t appeal to me anymore. But in the back of my mind I knew I had one more match in me. I turned all those offers down for years. Why? I’m comfortable. I didn’t need the aggrivation.
But over the years I put my work, the ring, the radio, that was all more important than anything else.
So now, almost 40 years after I first stepped into that squared circle, I find myself comfortable, but alone.
Oh don’t misunderstand me, in the last few months I’ve finally found someone with whom I will spend the rest of my life with. But I look at you, Mrs Darling, and I realize that you are doing just what I used to.
Take this for what it’s worth.
In the ring, be Firewoman. Be that wonderful powerful competitor that you have been since your ROH days. Be the smart ass that showed your husband-to-be that you were more than “just a girl”. Hell, when the need arises, let HIM out to play. HE can be useful.
But when the night is over, don’t let it all spill over. Let yourself be Mrs Darling. Let yourself be Lisa. Your loving husband deserves it. Not some phony housewifey whou burns cookies and overdoes holidays. Just be you. For him.

Now, Mrs Darling, if this offends you, I’m sorry. But I know this. If you don’t change your ways, there will be an explosion that will disrupt the entire OOWF universe.

No, I’m not in shape. No, I’m not ready today. But you don’t spend almost 20 years in this business without making a few friends and having a few favors that can be called in.

And at nearly 56 years of age, Fire, I’ve got one more match in me. Not a garbage match, but something very special. We can do this one of two ways.
You can accept the fact that I admire and respect your body of work and don’t want to see you end up like the Dynamite Kid or worse, and simply shake my hand.
Or we can do this the hard way.
No Muyo here, just straight up respect. I know that honesty gets you nowhere in the business, but I ask you to trust me. This won’t be a Sting level mistake, I promise you.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an international call to make....alone.

(The ninjacam, unaccustomed as they are to courtesy, leave the room as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

We come up in what appears to be a shower room at the arena. Dynamite Danny Taylor Is standing looking at his reflection in the mirror. He reaches up and gently touches the scar on his throat, and then the burns still on the left side of his face. A low sigh slips from his mouth. Suddenly the mirror seems to turn fuzzy, and the face of Spin Hansen appears in it. Danny's eyes widen in shock.

Ghost of Spin: I have other reasons for being here tonight, but I just wanted to say, I'm glad you kept the legacy of Drink and Destroy alive. Don't give up on it.

Danny closes his eyes, and when he re-opens them, the only thing staring back is his own reflection. Danny shakes his head and then heads out into what is the training area, where Crowing stands by the ring waiting for their training session to begin.

Crowing: Our first time teaming together, and we have quite a bit on the line.

Danny nods in agreement. He points to Crowing, then to his eyes, then at himself.

Crowing: Look, this isn't my first time in a tag match, I can hold my own.

Danny shakes his head no, then points at Crowing, then his eyes, then himself.

Crowing: I know you have done the tag team thing more recently then me, but I was in three piece set. I don't exactly need you holding my hand out there.

Danny holds up a hand to stop him. He then points to his throat and shakes his head no. Then he points to Crowing, then to his eyes, then to himself. A light seems to go off over Crowing's head.

Crowing: I understand. You can't speak, so you won't be able to warn me when a double team, or other members of the New Guard are trying to get involved.

Danny nods in agreement.

Crowing: So I have to keep you in my line of sight in order to see your visual warnings.

Danny nods yes. Crowing pauses thinking about this for a minute.

Crowing: Is that something you and Jack had to do every time the two of you tagged?

Danny seems a little sad at the mention of his fallen friend, but he nods in agreement. Crowing seems visibly impressed.

Crowing: I wonder how many people even realised just how hard it is to pull something like that off.

Danny shrugs his shoulders, then motions towards the rings. Crowing nods in agreement.

Crowing: Yeah, enough chit chat, lets see what kind of teamwork we can get together before Mayhem.

FADE

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams has apparently left the bar for some fresh air. Naturally a Ninjacam is present.**

LDW: “A thousand days…

<smirks>A thousand days…longer than a lot of people last in this company.

Two six packs plus. The Five. Drink and Destroy. A THOUSAND days! And still the New Guard whine. You’re right Stan - things have died off a little since the New Guard started losing titles. Know wh? Booking 101 - for a compelling match you need someone that people want to see win and someone that people want to see lose. When the New Guard had the titles, people wanted to see you lose them. They wanted to see people like Stank and Psykle and D&D and I win because...we’re us. Reverse that, and people still want to see us win but, without the titles, they really don’t want to see you at all.

You want honesty? You want truth? I can walk into any arena, any promotion in the world and it will sell out. Because I’m me.

Can you say that Stan? Can any of the New Guard? And yet you keep whining about not getting what you ‘deserve’.

Forget earning it - you ‘deserve’ it

Not my problem.

If I’m in the New Guard’s way, if I’m holding you back, it’s because you aren’t good enough yet. Don't like it? Come get me.

This week, L.D. Williams and El Lobo Sangiento - who has earned it, and does deserve it - are going to beat the holy hell out of Chris Evans and JP Sparxx - the one-two punch of yawn. After that, War Games. The Match Beyond has never been more appropriate. That night, the New Guard will finally get what they really deserve.

Trust Me.”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

(Scene: Th East Ely, Nevada home of Wyatt Cox, who is having a troubled nap in his recliner. He keeps mumbling, No, No, No...Finally he awakens violently, upsetting the chair and screaming)

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

(He is shaking and trembling uncontrollably)

I can't let it happen again. No more. Not on my watch.

I need a drink. Something more than sweet tea....

(Wyatt heads for the bar as we....)

FADE

[BookerShark]

*fade-in to Chris Evans, who has just finished watching LD Williams’ promo*

Evans: *starts clapping slowly and sarcastically*

Oh, well done, LD, bravo. It’s taken you 8 years to accomplish your 1000 days as a champion. Now am I there yet? No, not yet. But look at the pace that I’m on right now. I’ve been in this business for about 3 years, and I’ve already held a title for 479 days. Hell, last year, I held some kind of title for 294 days, longer than everyone else in this business today, and more than double of what you did. And yet you brush me off like I’m some flash in the pan, like I haven’t done what it takes to earn a shot.

Have you forgotten just who the fuck I am? Have you forgotten that it’s because of me and the rest of the New Guard that Davin Moreland will never wrestle again? Not because of his injury, hell, that fucker got hit by a fucking train and no-sold it. So why is he no longer here? I’ll tell you why. He finally got it into his head what we’ve been trying to tell all of you. Your time at the top of this business is finished. He realized this, so he took his ball and went home to his junkie wife and his probably coke-addicted kid.

The proof is in the pudding, as they say. And if you don’t wanna hear me, just look at the stats.

*Evans takes out a piece of paper*

Now what I’ve got right here is the list of the 2011- 2012 Total Time With a Title. Kai & Aina, the Flying Hawaiians andn the best tag team going today: 209 days each and counting. Yours truly, the most technically-sound wrestler going today, and a man who, unless my mind mistakes me, pinned and outwrestled you the last time we faced each other one on one. 157 days *holds up Trios title* and counting. Stan Fulton, the best brawler today. 147 days. JP Sparxx, undeniably the most underrated wrestler in recent memory. Nobody gave the guy a chance until we took him under our wing, and is now doing better than ever. 119 days.

Notice a pattern yet? The 5 wrestlers with the longest runs of the past year, and every single one of them runs with me in the New Guard.

And now look at you and Lobo. El Lobo Sangriento, a guy who I once tried to recruit, but decided to be a lone wolf, which I was fine with, until he decided to team with the likes of you. And seeing how he’s only held a title for 59 days, I’m glad I didn’t recruit him. And then, there’s you, LD, the grizzled vet, the so-called greatest of all time. 28 days, and counting, for now that is.

But I will give you one thing, the New Guard will finally get what we really deserve. We will get what we deserve, but not what you think it is. We will go into War Games, and when it ends, we’ll get what we deserve. An OOWF without LD Williams. And there’s not a damn thing that you can do about it.

*fade to black*

[BookerShark]

~~~ We see a RNSFJ standing with a microphone. Perhaps she's trying to figure out how it works. Who knows. But that delay has given Comrade Sharkoff time to step on screen ~~~

Moosejack Head! You think it is funny to jam steel spike into my head? Coward will get his comeuppance in Chain Match this week. I am not afraid of Crazy Yankee who hears voices. I am not afraid of man who is dangerous.

Moosejack Head should be afraid of ME! I am a son of Russia! In Russia, crazy people are dealt with severely. Lots of gulags in Siberia filled with crazier more dangerous people than you Mr. Head. So you try to injure Comrade? Ask Fulton Crusher how that worked out for him. I got my revenge for him trying to hurt me and now he is NOTHING! He lost his belt. Moosejack, you are about to lose your belt AND your HEAD! I will wrap my chain around arm and deliver Russian Sickles until your head rolls out of ring! CCCP #1 Comrade Sharkoff will be greatest champion of all the times!

[BookerShark]

<Moose is sitting in the back watching Sharkoff's promo. He looks up at the camera and has that old evil glint in his eye>

Sharkoff, let me ask you something. In your days in Russia, did you nearly kill a man in a match so brutal, even the most hardcore wrestlers said it went too far? In Russia, did you cut a man's throat and take away his voice, just for fun? Did you stab a man in the head with a crucifix? Did you do any of those things?

Because I did.

You see Sharkoff, you may have seen how things have gone down between Stank and I. I could have jabbed that spike into Stank's head, but I didn't. I didn't because Stank is the closest thing to family I have left. Stank and I have run the road together, we have fought with, and against one another. The road we are going down is not one that I relish, but it is necessary.

You, on the other hand.......Sharkoff, I honestly don't care if you live or you die. When that spike slammed into your skull, I felt no remorse, I felt no guilt, I felt nothing......nothing but your warm blood running down your head onto my hands. Sharkoff, I don't doubt that you are a tough SOB, but you are in over your head. You are trying to take what is mine, and I simply will not allow that. You can bring the whole fucking Kremlin with you, you can bring the Red Fucking Army with you, and it is not going to make a bit of difference.

<Moose slowly closes his eyes and grabs his head, He is talking again. Moose trembles and then looks at the camera, an entirely different look in his eyes>

Sharkoff......He wants blood. He wants your blood. And He refuses to let me lose this title. Go back to Mother Russia. Go back. If you enter that ring Wednesday, I guarantee you this, you will not walk out on your own.

Trust me

<fade>

[BookerShark]

(Scene: a room in Wyatt's home in East Ely, Nevada. It's a different room than we've seen with a number of plaques, trophies, a very old-school wrestling belt, and newspaper clippings. Wyatt is looking at one on the way with the headline "Woman dies in wrestling accident". He turns to the Ninjacam...)

Good day. You know, I've addressed a lot of my concerns to the one and only Firewoman, one of the best in the world today. But at the moment, there's a grizzled veteran who I believe needs a little advice.

Mr Sharkoff, I respect you, your never say die attitude, and your blind faith in Mother Russia. But believe me there's a force stronger than the former Soviet Socialist Republics.

Him.

Trust me when I say this. When HE wants blood, HE gets it. And the only thing that will stop that is the death of HIS carrier. And honestly, I don't believe you have it in you.
So call back home, speak to Mamma Sharkoff, tell you you love her and Mother Russia, and prepare for the eventual disposition of your Rubles. Bigger people than YOU have tried to stop him. And died trying.

Trust me. It's as inevitable as Taxes....

[BookerShark]

Early Sunday morning at the Darling Luxury Suites. Alexander is somewhat agitated on the phone, talking with someone when Fire walks in, carrying two coffees.

AD: No, no word...I mean....It's kind of not all that odd, really, but I mean usually an INC finds her and nothing since Thursday night.........Lucky, we need to check hosp.....never mind, she's here.

Alexander slams down the phone, and rushes up to Firewoman, a combination of angry and relieved.

AD: Do you know what I have been--

FW: Um...yes....I kinda do.

AD: Oh...right.

FW: Coffee?

AD: Fire....I don't drink coffee.

FW: You don't?

AD: No.

FW: Since when?

AD: Since...ever?

FW: But I bring it to you all the time.

AD: I know. And do I drink it?

FW: *thinking hard* Um.....yes?

AD: No. I don't.

FW: But you always say thank you.

AD: So....where did you go? Where did you sleep?

FW: Around. Convent.

AD: You slept in a convent?

FW: Believe me, that wasn't my intention, but nuns are really committed to their vows.

AD: Fire....

FW: But for the last few hours I've been in the basement.

AD: Here? Of the arena?

FW: Yes.

AD: ....

FW: Did we get any mail?

AD: Fire....

FW: Yes?

AD: Why...*sigh*....why were you in the basement?

FW: Oh...right. I was working on this.

She sits down one of the coffees and takes a big drink of the other, while pulling some papers...lots of papers....out of her pocket. Some fall onto the ground. She unfolds those that remain in her hand, and it appears they all have writing that has been scratched out on them. She turns them over and leafs through them.

FW: No, that one sucked....not that one....dammit, which was the good one?

AD: Good what?

FW: Just a sec....oh wait...can you get that one by your feet?

Alex leans down and picks it up and starts to read it before she grabs it.

FW: No, no, not like that.

AD: Fire, what does that mean?

FW: *reading* Dear Alex, I really suck at this stuff so....wait....no, it's on the other side. *flips it over and reads it sort of like she was reading the ingredients on the cereal box* I apologize for getting angry with you over our loss. It was as much ....um....let me try this again....it was as much my.....um....fault.....my fault as yours and I took my frustrations out on you. So I am sorry for that. Love, Fire.

She looks up at him. Alex doesn't know quite what to do, although he's pretty sure laughing isn't the right thing. He does smile though.

AD: That's what you were working on in the basement?

FW: Yeah, Dr. Sid said I should work on writing things out if I don't know what to say and...why? Is it not okay?

AD: No, Fire...it's okay.

FW: Good. Okay, lets finish our coffees *Alex shakes his head* and we can get back on track. Who do we face Wednesday?

AD: We um....WE don't face anyone. We're not teaming.

FW: WHAT? But .... *she holds out her paper*....but I said I was sorry. I worked really hard on it and stuff and that's how it works I say sorry and everything is all back to normal and --

AD: Fire....breathe....

FW: ....

AD: We are not a team THIS WEEK. Selena is bored or something and has a Tag Team tournament thing happening where she mixed us all up. I'm unfortunately teaming with Aina.

FW: Oh...well, who am I--

AD: *sigh*.........Chad.

FW: Oh...OH! well that doesn't suck.

AD: Speak for yourself.

FW: I was. *she looks at the run sheet* So...if let's say you and Aina and then me and Chad are in the final....then we win....

AD: We can assume that....it's not true, but just for the sake of argument.

FW: It is true. And then....Chad and I get to go for the tag titles? While that would rock, I see your eye roll, I don't want to win them with a different tag team partner. I want to win them with you. *Alex smiles* Can the stip be for that match?

AD: I don't know, you'll have to ask her. Also....your fan is interested in stepping in the ring with you.

FW: That old guy? Dream on. I'm going to go take a shower. The ones at the convent were cold, although that proved to be a blessing.

AD: I bet.

FW: This is the part where I say something flirty about showers and not seeing you for four days, and the INC fades, but maybe the INC could fade before I get to that part?

AD: We'll see.

INC FADE

[BookerShark]

SFJ April is wandering the halls, seemingly lost, when she sees Jewel walk by in a pink Nicki Minaj-style wig (mmm Nicki Minaj), and low and behold, the enigmatic and seldomly seen J-P Sparxx is with her!

SFJA: J-P! Where have you been?

J-PS: I been around.

SFJA: You've been quiet for so long...

J-PS: Not like it matters yo.

SFJA: J-P...

J-PS: Nah, it's all cool. I know where I stand. I was the longest reigning Onstar Champion in Double O Double U F history, yet I can't even gets anutha rematch. I get it.

SFJA: What do you get?

J-PS: I thought Shortie in da GM office knew what she was doin', but I guess I was wrong. Won't be da first time, won't be da last.

SFJA: So what are you saying?

J-PS: I'm sayin' I'm da best thing dis company's got, an' I'm not bein' treated like it. Maybe it's 'bout time I look fo somewhere else where I'll be a bit mo 'spected. KnowwhatI'msayin'?

SFJA: Are you leaving?

J-PS: Nah. Not yet. BUt I'm puttin' da word out. Any fed wanna treat a star bettah? I listen. ROH, Dragons Gate, Japan, yeah man, Japan would LOVE me.

SFJA: What about the New Guard? You have War Games coming up and this week...

J-PS: Oh, dey still ma boys. An' ma girls. I gots der backs.

SFJA: Anything to say about this week's match alongside Chris Evans vs LD Williams and El Lobo Sanriento?

J-PS: Yeah, I gots sumthin' ta say. Learnin' Disability, you wanna talk trash? Ya wanna call the Spark borin'? Well if ma mem'ry serves me, I was given ya all you can handle son. Where's ma title shot? Oh, yeah, you just like ev'ry one else is scurred a the Spark. Well ya should be. Dis week, me an' ma boy Chris, we gon' beat you. We gon' embarrass you. Den, at War Games... I'ma hurt you. I'ma break sumthin' a yo's. Maybe your arm. Maybe yo leg. Maybe an ankle. Or maybe I'll break yo freakin' neck. Ya see, I just don't like you son. An' in dat cage, I'm gon' show you, and ev'ryone else here in Double O Double U F, what the Spark is truly made of. Da clownin' is done. I just don't care 'bout yo asses anymo'. I'ma make ma name at anyone's expense, startin' with you ya stupid piece of shit. So I'll see you an' your mutt partnah in da ring at Mayhem. Den I'll get yo stupid ass in da cage. Ya feel me?