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Post by BookerShark on May 28, 2012 18:03:23 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Toronto, Ontario Canada
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Danny Taylor vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Ghosthead vs. Crowing
Non-Title Match[/u] The Flyin Hawaiians vs. Awesome Bill From Dawsonville & Justin Sane
Special Challenge Match[/u] Firewoman vs. Power & Glory
LD Williams & Attitude Adjuster vs. JP Sparxx & Chris Evans Alexander Darling vs. Matt Folz Texpress vs. Mai Muyo & Stan Fulton El Lobo Sangriento vs. Comrade Sharkoff Rabbit Mask vs. Stank
card subject to exchange rate
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Post by BookerShark on May 28, 2012 18:04:55 GMT -5
Wyatt, Edra, and Clio are backstage following the Pay Per View looking for, and just found, an SFJ. WC: [/i] YOU. Need you. SFJ: [/i] How did you get back here? WC: [/i] Promotional arrangement, remember. Introduce us, then Glory has a statement to make. SFJ: [/i] OK, in three, two...we're backstage following the Boston Massacre Pay Per View which just concluded LIVE from Boston Massachusettes (Cheap pop) WC: [/i] Great, now I have to pay royalites to Alan. SFJ: (Aside to Wyatt) [/i] No, it's in our contract. WC: [/i] Oh, thanks! SFJ: [/i] We're joined by Power and Glory in their matching gold Atelier Versace gowns ( bit.ly/KwytOj ) ...and Wyatt Cox in his Robert Hall special. We understand that Glory has a statement to make. WC: (Aside) [/i]Clio, you're on. Clio: [/i] Oh, yeah, wait... (Fumbling, looking for something, pulls a scrap of paper from her cleavage. Wyatt rolls his eyes) Eb, Na, (turns paper over) On Behalf of Wyatt Cox – that's Uncle Wyatt here – Power – that's Edra here – and myself, Glory, I want to apo- apologize for hitting Alexander Darling. As I am sure the Darlings can understand, Both Power and Glory are protective of Wyatt and want no harm to be-be-befall-- oh, we don't want him hurt. We both look forward to Wednesday night when we get our chance at an O-O-W-F Contract when we face (sigh) Firewoman. (Edra and Clio act like lovestruck teenagers at the mention of Firewoman's name as Wyatt rolls his eyes again) WC: [/i] LADIES, Gameface! Yes, Wednesday night, Midweek Mayhem, Ten Minute Challenge, the Greatest Women's Wrestler of all time – almost – takes on the Neil Twins, Power, Glory. Don't let their demeanor fool you, once they enter that ring, they're all business. Look closely again at these two, Firewoman. They're strong, they're powerful, they're focused—girls, focus. (Edra and Clio stop whispering and giggling and begin flexing) They're ready for you Wednesday Night, Fire. Are you ready to discover the Power and the Glory that you've never seen? (More giggling) GIRLS! Edra: [/i] Well, she HAS seen... WC: [/i] NEVER MIND! Wednesday night at Mayhem...come on girls SFJ: [/i] The Ten Minute Challenge Wednesday night, if Firewoman can defeat either Power or Glory, Wyatt Cox is gone forever. If she doesn't she will use her influence to get them an OOWF contract. Can Firewoman beat Wyatt Cox's rookie team? Tune in. WC: (Turning to Clio) [/i] And you're pre-law? Clio: [/i] There aren't any cameras in courtrooms. I get nervous. Wyatt and the Neil Twins walk away as we... FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 28, 2012 18:05:40 GMT -5
<a stage hand hurries up to Wyatt as the training ends. He looks pale, but finally Wyatt notices him.>
WC: What is it son?
SH: This was delivered for you
WC: Ok.......what it is?
SH: Open it
<Wyatt opens a small box and pulls out a well-worn rosary made from barbed wire. Wyatt sticks it in his pocket and turns to walk away
SH: Aren't you worried?
WC: If he wanted me gone, I would never have seen it coming. This should prove interesting. Still........beef up security a little more
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Post by BookerShark on May 28, 2012 18:06:13 GMT -5
Wyatt Cox is still backstage following the Boston Massacre Pay-Per-View. After Clio apologized for hitting Alexander Darling in a post-match shoutfest, an assistant brings Wyatt a package; a well-worn rosary made from barbed wire. Wyatt and the girls reluctantly head for the Darling Suites to see if they can find Lucky...He knocks on the door...which Alexander answers...
AD: Your girls still spoiling for a fight, are they?
WC: I don't want any trouble, I just need to see Lucky.
AD: Sure you do.
WC: Mr Darling, you know that I wouldn't come here if I didn't think it was important. I know that neither you or your wife trust me, and to be honest, I still don't trust you. But I may have a clue that might interest him.
AD: What kind of clue?
WC: I'll share that with him, and you if you'll help me please.
AD: Hold on. (Alex closes the door, and returns with Lucky)
L: Mr. Cox, how can I help you.
WC: A stagehand just brought me this. (Wyatt shows Lucky the barbed wire crucifix)
AD: Is this some sort of joke?
WC: Would I bring it here if I was joking?
AD: No, but if you're trying to get into Fire's head more...
WC: Mr Darling, this has nothing to do with Fire. Well, apart from the fact that this may be a clue about the whereabouts of her brother. And let's face it, she says she doesn't care, but you know better, don't you. You know she wants to know that he's alive and OK, well, as well as he ever is. But I didn't want to give her any hope until Lucky had a chance to check this out. I know he has his sources.
L: Yes, I do. Just one question. How can we trust you?
WC: You can't, you shouldn't. But right now, it's all you have, isn't it?
L: It looks like what we've seen in the past. How did you get it again?
WC: A stage hand brought it to me after our – after our apology to you, Mr Darling.
AD: Yes, I saw that. May I speak to her?
(Wyatt gestures for the girls to come closer.)
Clio: Yes sir?
AD: I understand that you were trying to protect your...Uncle Wyatt...and I accept your apology.
Clio: Thank you sir. I'm so embarrassed.
AD: That's OK, just be more careful. Could I talk to your – uncle more privately?
Clio: Certainly, sir. Thank you for understanding.
AD: Not at all. (Turning to Wyatt) Are these girls for real?
WC: I guess you'll find out on Wednesday.
AD: But Uncle Wyatt?
WC: Long story for another time, OK?
L: Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
AD: If this is a trick...
WC: Dammit, Alex, if this was a trick, do you think I would have brought it here? No. I would have just waited and put it straight on the air. Think. Where would I get more mileage and been able to get into Fire's head with it: doing this, or broadcasting it?
L: Question?
WC: Ask.
L: Why you? I mean, why do you think he sent this to you.
WC: Perhaps demons flock to demons.
AD: You?
WC: (quietly) No. Them.
L: The girls?
WC: Another long story. See you Wednesday. Lucky, Mr Darling.
(Wyatt shakes Lucky's hand and extends his hand to Alex, who just walks away as we...)
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 28, 2012 18:06:42 GMT -5
**SFJ#47 is with L.D. Williams.**
SFJ47: “L.D., you successfully defended your title at Boston Massacre, but were beaten down by the New Guard after the match.”
LDW: “Surprise surprise.”
SFJ#47: “How are you feeling?”
LDW: “Like I got beaten down. Docs say I’ll live. It’d be best to take a few weeks off, of course, but they always say that. I won‘t be 100%, but I‘ll be good to go Wednesday.”
SFJ#47: “You will be teaming with Attitude Adjuster against the team of JP Sparxx and Chris Evans.”
LDW: “The Sounds of Silence Twins.”
SFJ#47: “Any thoughts on the match?”
LDW: “There have been good teams in this business, There have been great teams. There have even been a precious few ‘super’ teams. But once in a lifetime or two lightening strikes - a team not only greater than the sum of it’s parts, but greater than all the parts. A team…like Attitude Adjuster and L.D. Williams. The single greatest promotificator in the history of promotification, and the best wrestler in the world today! We’re not just unbeatable - we’re untouchable! We’re gonna - what?
SFJ#47: “Selling this a little hard, aren’t you?”
LDW: “It’s the New Guard - have to go over the top just to get their attention.”
SFJ#47: “Fair enough. Carry on.”
LDW: “Where was I?”
SFJ#47: “You’re gonma_”
LDW: “Right. We’re gonna beat them like no team has ever beaten another team in the history of beatings! And we won’t be coming alone! Fred the Monkey! Stanley the Duck! Former OOWF Tag Team Champion and DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion But Now Spokesman for The Great Canadian Bagel Restaurant #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline, with Special Bob Orton Jr. Memorial Wrestling Cast! We’ll bring ‘em all! Ringside will be so packed with our entourage that the New Guard won’t be able reach the ring if they try to interfere. And they won’t try, because we’re going to win so fast they won’t have time to consider it!”
<L.D. pauses for breath.>
SFJ#47: “Finished?”
LDW: “Yeah, I think - wait…Whooooooooooo! There. I think that covers it.”
<There is a rustling by Williams’ feet.>
LDW: “Of course, the last word…”
Stanly: “QUACK!”
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on May 28, 2012 18:07:04 GMT -5
Evans: You really are a stubborn old bastard, ain't ya, LD? So you decide that not only will you be bringing your sorry self back for another New Guard ass-kicking, you're bringing the Reanimated Corpse of Attitude Adjuster along for the ride. Fine, works for me.
And what are you gonna have to protect you from the New Guard? A monkey, a Cardboard Cutout, and a Duck who's scared to death of me, especially after I took *raises Heavy Metal title* THIS from him. Look, I know you're going senile in your old age, but how in the blue fuck do you think that having an "entourage" like that is gonna stop the Most Underrated Wrestler in the OOWF, JP Sparxx, and the Wave of the Future, yours truly, "Lionheart" Chris Evans? So bring your poor excuse for backup, hell, try to have Ladder back you up as well. Cause we have no problem in causing some collateral damage in order to get what we want.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 15:11:05 GMT -5
Stan Fulton arrives at the entrance to the leased private training facility of Wyatt Cox in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He is stopped by a private security guard
PSG: Excuse me, sir, this is a private facility until Thursday.
SF: I'm aware of that. I'm a guest of Mr. Cox.
PSG: I'm sorry sir, no guests permitted, just Mr Cox and the ladies.
SF: No guests? There must be some mistake.
WC: (walking up behind Stan) That's right, Stan. And you made it.
SF: Wyatt, what's wrong.
WC: Oh, nothing. You just participated in another of the New Guard's gang attacks last night.
SF: Oh that, well...
WC: Oh that, nothing! I understood you being along for the ride on the Outback Jack attack. I didn't understand the Davin Moreland attack, especially since he worked so hard to give you a rub. Now rather than take the high road, you go after the World Champion, just since Mr Williams had the audacity not to lay down for Cubby.
SF: But....
WC: But NOTHING, Stan! FIVE on ONE doesn't fly with me. That's what cowards do. I thought you were better than this. YOU of all people should understand that what we teach here is honesty, integrity, and the right way of life. You have a choice to make, my friend. Stand with the New Guard and their pack of lies and lack of ethics, or come back here and make a new life. One that will take you to your Grand Slam...before Fire and Alex. That would cement your legacy. Only one pack has ever been eternally famous in wrestling history, and no way are those others Horseman material. You are. Don't let your legacy get soiled permanently by the stain of the New Guard.
SF: I understand.
WC: Where's Mai?
SF: I don't know. Haven't seen her since the Pay Per View.
WC: Relay a message. I respect you both, but until Wednesday night, this facility is closed. Edra and Clio want this match more than anything in their lives. The incident with the Darlings and your post match beatdown of Mr Williams bothered them. I need them focused on Firewoman. You two need to decide your path. The pack mentality where you'll get lost in the shuffle, or here. I don't need to explain what you get here, do I Stan?
SF: No. No you don't. Still, security?
WC: Just being careful. Someone relayed a message. I don't need any—undue influences on the girls until after Wednesday.
SF: Influences?
WC: I really don't want to get into it now, Stan. I'm sorry, but for the past 24 years I've made sure these girls have gotten everything they want and need. They want this in the worst way. They feel that if they get this contract, it'll make up in some small way for what their aunt and uncle did to me years ago. It's more than any pack thing. It's family. And whatever you're doing, family is the most important thing.
SF: I respect that. Good luck on Wednesday.
WC: Same to you. Texpress is a rough mountain to climb, I wish I could help. But, the respect thing, you know?
SF: Of course, see you Wednesday.
WC: Good luck, Stan.
Stan Fulton leaves and Edra comes up and places a hand on Wyatt's shoulder
Edra: Won't Stan and Mai be working with us?
WC: Not for now. We're on our own. Just the three of us.
Edra: I'll miss them.
WC: Me too, Edra. Me too. But it's a matter of trust. Right now, for the next two days, all we can trust is family. Just you, me, and Clio.
Edra: Thank you, Uncle Wyatt. We'll make you proud.
WC: You already do. Legs would be so proud.
Edra: Yes, she is. Uncle Wyatt? I'm scared.
WC: Don't be. Focus on what we've worked on and you and Clio will be fine.
Edra: But what if we lose control?
WC: Then we worry. But you can do it. I know you can.
Wyatt gives Edra a hug as we...
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 15:11:50 GMT -5
OOC: Dammit...okay this one happens before Wyatt's. Also, I'm back from hippieland.
Wyatt shakes Lucky's hand and extends his hand to Alex, who just walks away as we...cut back because of some commotion.
Lucky: Fire! No!
Firewoman comes rushing out and clocks Clio with a right cross. She falls back, a trickle of blood running from her nose, and Wyatt protectively steps in front of her.
FW: Perfect.
WC: She APOLOGIZED!
FW: She read an apology YOU wrote. There's a difference.
L: Fire...let's go inside.
WC: I'm sure that's not necessary. Fire wouldn't attack an old man, would she?
L: Um....
FW: You like to play that card because you think it keeps you safe. It doesn't. I don't care how old you are. I care how annoying you are.
WC: Fine. Beat my girls--
FW: Women.
WC: Huh?
FW: Unless your a creepy guy and they're under 18, they aren't girls. They're women. And as far as the possessive pronoun "my" goes--
WC: Okay, enough feminism. Fine. Defeat Power and Glory and I go away forever.
FW: *laughing in a way that kind of defines creepy* Silly Wyatt. If I wanted you to go away for ever you'd be gone.
L: Fire...
WC: Big deal. Then I'd be with--
FW: Wyatt...I know more than a few ways to make you disappear forever that would keep you from being reunited with your true love.
L: Okay, that's--
wC: I guess we'll find out then, won't we.
C: She PUNCHED me! I thought...we had a thing....
Firewoman rolls her eyes and goes back inside, with Lucky. The INC shifts and they're in the Darling Luxury Suites.
AD: Was that necessary?
FW: Felt good. What's that?
Lucky shows her the rosary. Fire looks at it, shrugs and then notices the INC.
FW: You. Out. No more access, remember?
The scene turns to snow as "someone" destroys the INC.
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 15:12:23 GMT -5
(OOC: That's what happens when you take holidays! This follows Fire's promo above, but before the other promos...)
Wyatt, Power, and Glory are in their two-bedroom suite in Boston following the Pay Per View. He goes to check on the girls, and finds Power holding a sobbing Glory
WC: [/i] Am I interrupting something?
Edra: [/i] She's still upset.
WC: [/i] Fire?
Clio: [/i] I apologised!
WC: [/i] She doesn't trust you. Because of me.
Clio: [/i] But she...she..
Edra: [/i] She's not what you or I thought she was. She's really that mean.
Clio: [/i] But the other night...
WC: [/i] ...is just something she does. Look, I know you've been hung up on the powerful woman succeeding in a man's world, the sexy, powerful, but sweet image. Well, that's all it is. She's not nice. She's threatened me because she thought that I was obsessed with her. Truth be known, to me she was just a target. But then Clio had to get into her Chloe garb and go out looking for someone...
Clio: [/i] But we were lonely...
WC: [/i] I know, you put two and two together and ended up rolling snake eyes. Look, you had a fun night, but that's all it'll ever be. She played with you as much as you played with her. Now comes the nasty part. Look, Firewoman knows NOTHING about our history, NOTHING about how for 24 years I helped your mom raise you. How you were the closest thing I'll ever have to children. How...how you've made me proud of you.
(Edra and Clio give Wyatt a big hug)
WC: [/i] I only wish your mom could be here.
Edra: [/i] She will be. So will Beth.
Clio: [/i] I so much want her to feel this bad.
WC: [/i] Fire? Forget it. She doesn't care about anyone, even herself. You always had me and your mom to care about you. She's never had anyone...well, except for Moose, and now Alex and Lucky. She lives with stuff worse than you two will ever know.
Edra: [/i] Even after what we did to that boy?
WC: [/i] He deserved it. Besides, he won't ever do that again.
Clio: [/i] Or much of anything. (A long uncomfortable silence of remembrance)
WC: [/i] Hey, let's get off this depressing bandwagon. You wanna hear something funny?
Edra: [/i] Sure. (not too enthusiastically)
WC: [/i] The latest OOWF Rankings are out. Firewoman's ranked 15th. Care to guess who's 14th?
Clio: [/i] Who?
WC: [/i] Mr Pine Cone Party Likker himself! Awesome Bill!
(everyone has a good laugh)
Edra: [/i] Uncle Wyatt, why did you order security for our gym in Toronto?
WC: [/i] We don't need any distractions between now and Wednesday.
Clio: [/i] Will Mai and Stan be coming?
WC: [/i] No they won't. They made choices tonight that were wrong. I don't want that influence in your lives. That kind of gang mentality is wrong.
Edra: [/i] Yes, Uncle Wyatt. Still...it was fun working with people we didn't have to be careful with.
WC: [/i] Patience. We win on Wednesday and that won't be a problem ever again. OK, curfew. And no Edna and Chloe for a while. You're training.
Both: [/i] Yes, Uncle Wyatt.
WC: [/i] OK girls, good night.
(Wyatt kisses both girls and tucks them in. He turns out the light.)
WC: [/i] Marty, Legs, I hope I'm doing the right thing....
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 15:13:10 GMT -5
FADE in on a training facility somewhere in Buffalo, NY. Working out by himself is The Crusher Stan Fulton. A random female journalist happens by.
RFJ66: “Mr. Fulton?”
Fulton stops his workout, sighs and looks up at the speaker.
SF: “Can I help you?”
RFJ66: “Do you have a few minutes for some questions?”
SF: “Sure. Fire away.”
RFJ66: “What happened with you and Wyatt Cox yesterday?”
SF: “Wyatt put down some ground rules for Mai and myself working with him. We had to break those rules because we’d already made commitments to the New Guard. Those were made first and therefore we had to keep our word.”
RFJ66: “Are you and Mai done with the New Guard?”
SF: “No.”
RFJ66: “That’s it? Just ‘No?’”
SF: “What more do you want? Mai and I are part of the New Guard. End of story. We were there to back Chris at Boston Massacre and we’ll be there again. Maybe there comes a time where the New Guard isn’t required and we can all go our separate ways. I think we’re moving in that direction. Look at our OOWF Onslaught Champion. Ghosthead is a great new talent. He got his chance and is running with it.
“That’s what the New Guard has been about all along. Even if others have corrupted that for their own vendettas.”
RFJ66: “Are you speaking about anyone in particular?”
SF: “I am. But I won’t be discussing that any further. Especially with you.”
RFJ66: “Ooooooooookay. Let’s talk about your match Sunday night against Phoenix Rising.”
SF: “What is there to say? They defeated Mai and myself. Congratulation to them. I’m guessing they’re being groomed to become tag champs. Can’t have the newer guy get a Grand Slam before the entrenched talent.”
The RFJ waits for Kayfabe to make an appearance.
SF: “Kay’s off shopping. On my bank account I think too. I think she’s planning our wedding.”
RFJ66: “You’re serious?”
SF: “You’ll never know, pea-brain.”
RFJ66: “You don’t have to be rude.”
SF: “And you didn’t have to interrupt my training for these asinine questions.”
RFJ66: “Fine. Here’s one more. Do you and Mai Muyo have any chance of becoming a contending tag team?”
SF: “Mai and I are new. Alex was right about that when he said that he and Lisa were used to working together. Mai and I aren’t yet. We still hesitate because we’re not sure where the other is going to be. But that is solved with continued training and matches. Which we’ll get. We face the self-proclaimed measuring sticks of the tag division this week. I’ve faced Chad and Zane with two or three other partners. I do have some insight into their tendencies.
“However, make no mistake that Texpress will be more fluid and work better together than Mai and I will be. That does not automatically give them the win, but we’ve got our work cut out for us. Which is why after this workout, Mai and I train for the rest of today and tomorrow before we drive up to Toronto for tomorrow night’s match. Three days to get ready for the future hall of fame tag team? Again, our work’s cut out for us.
“Now go away and leave me be.”
The RFJ sulks off as we FADE.
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 15:13:43 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster is giving an interview to a smoking hot SFJ about Ben Gay or something. The camera catches the fantastic and slightly underutilized J-P Sparxx walking down the Hallway of Oh Sh!t with a chair in hand. The SFJ starts to step back while still holding the microphone while Attitude Adjuster continues to ramble on and on and on...
...until he's SMACKED in the face with the chair by J-P. The SFJ screams and runs away. Attitude Adjuster holds his now broken and bleeding nose on the ground.
J-PS: So ya like usin' chairs, huh?
J-P waffles Attitude Adjuster with the chair to the face again as blood sprays from Attitude Adjuster's face. He rolls over to protect himself, so J-P continues to hammer him on the back with the chair.
J-PS: You wanna play?! Let's play mutha fuckah! I'm tired of you fuckers!
SMACK SMACK SMACK.
Security rushes in but they too get plastered with chair shots. Once done with them, J-P goes back to Attitude Adjuster.
J-PS: had your hip replaced yet, ol' man? No? Not yet?
J-P slams the head of the chair into Attitude Adjuster's hip.
J-PS: How 'bout yo knee? No?
J-P slams the head of the chair into Attitude Adjuster's knee. J-P then tosses the chair, grabs Attitude Adjuster's foot and twists & locks in the LowGator. He wrenches back on Attitude Adjuster's head as he screams in agony.
J-PS: Fun an' games are ovah, son. I'ma go through all you bitches one by one 'til I gets what's mine!
More security guards rush in and struggle to pull J-P from Attitude Adjuster and finally do so. J-P let's them pull him away then frees himself while they stand between him and Attitude Adjuster. J-P smiles and wipes some of Attitude Adjuster's blood from his face.
J-PS: KnowwhatI'msayin'?
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 15:14:23 GMT -5
We are at a hotel in beautiful Honolulu, O'ahu, Hawai'i. Kai grabs a INC and has him follow. He knocks on a door of this outdoor hotel, overlooking a majestic pool area.Kai: You are about to bear witness to the first installment of the Kai SuperKool Show, and if the Kai's guest ever gets to the door, you're in for a treat. The door slowly opens and our beloved GM, Selena, comes outside looking a little hung over.GMSa-T: What?! Kai: Selena, welcome to the Kai SuperKool Show! GMSa-T: I don't...there's no...what? Kai: The Kai wants to interview you. You should be stoked! GMSa-T: I am. I guess. Okay. What? Kai: Wow, you and Omar got so trashed last night. A lawyer pops in from out of no where.L: Mrs. al-Takriti can not answer that question due to the fifth amendment and the potential repercussions of underage drinking. The OOWF does not sponsor or endorse consumption of alcohol by anyone under the age of twenty one on American soil. Please drink responsibly. GMSa-T: Dude, where did he come from? Is THAT what that huge retainer fee we pay is for? Kai: Anyway, the Kai has a few questions he'd like to ask you beloved General Manager? GMSa-T: Yeah, sure, okay, just don't talk so loud and stand over here, the sun is killing me. Kai: As you wish. Now, as you were partying here on Memorial Day with the Kai, honoring all our fallen soldiers that could not be with us, in grand view of the USS Arizona Memorial just over there, everyone watched the replay of the Boston Massacre PPV on that giant TV Omar got, ain't that right? GMSa-T: Yeah, it was a pretty good show. I was happy with... Kai: The highlight of the night surely being the Kai and his bruddah beating those cow tipping wastes of time known as Texpress in their own match ONCE AGAIN. GMSa-T: Yeah, congrats on that, I knew you could do it. Kai: Yes, the party goers here really seemed to enjoy...oh wait. THEY DIDN'T. The instant seventeen star classic match didn't make the show! Selena rubs her face with her hands.GMSa-T: Ah, crap. Kai: Did you or did you not promise the Kai and his bruddah that there would be rep-ur-cut-ions if this happened AGAIN? GMSa-T: I did. Someone is totally being fired. Kai: You promised more. You promised the Kai...some satisfaction. Selena looks at him blankly.Kai: You surely knows what that means. GMSa-T: I did not offer you pie. And don't call me Shirley. Somewhere, Solly laughs.Kai: HA! Selena's got jokes, the Kai loves this. No, the Kai would never dream of tasting your pie as you are married to one of the Kai's brah's, BUT, there is something the Kai and his bruddah want. GMSa-T: What is it? Kai whispers something in Selena's ear. Selena's eyes light up and she grins.GMSa-T: I can probably have that happen. Kai: The Kai LOVES doing business with you. Selena rubs her eyes and forehead.GMSa-T: Are we done now? Can I go back to bed with Omie? We have a flight to catch to Toronto tonight. Kai: Yes, please, go make some more sweet sweet love to your hubby. Selena thumbs Kai on the forehead and goes back into the hotel room.Kai: There you have it! The Kai LOVES bringing people together and bringing the world more pie eating, catchphrase droppin', alcohol responsibly drinkin', troop rememberin', wave catchin', good times! Especially when good things happen to the Kai and good things ALWAYS happen. To the Kai. IF YA SMELLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 15:15:18 GMT -5
Stan turns around and faces Mai.
Mai: Honor. Loyalty. I like that. Even if you have to lie a bit.
Stan: What did I lie about?
Mai: You're not all that new. You debuted in this company over two years ago this month. You've been World Champion.
Stan: I said we were new. We are new as a team. Our responsiveness to each other is not where it should be.
Mai: (smiling) That's because I'm new, Stan. Chemistry matters for something, but you can slap almost any two World Champions together and have a great team. Lisa and Alexander found their footing pretty fast, and it was doubly hard to do as a married couple. Currently, you're voluntarily bringing yourself down to my level, and trying to turn it into a joint failure.
Stan: You're feeling down.
Mai: Actually, I'm feeling great. Muyos are happiest when we feel a sense of reciprocated loyalty. The only time my brother completely kept it together was when he was standing alongside Voltage and later Tytan.
Fluidity breeds anxiety, Stan. That's why it's comforting to stand aside a man like you. You can say, "You know, I like how Mr. Cox does things. But I have previous commitments, and I will hold to them." No one else here says things like that. It's always, "You've betrayed me, so fuck you," or "I've changed my mind on things, so my obligations to you are through."
You're a good man, Stan Fulton.
Mai leaps and hugs Stan, as he raises an eyebrow.
Mai: Now let's go train. I'll try to go double-time for you.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 16:09:50 GMT -5
<Justin and Bill are walking down the hall chatting, well, chatting and drinking. Bill has his ever present pine cone party likker while Justin is drinking water>
JS: Sorry about what happened at the pay per view
ABFD: What? Aw hell son it weren't nothin'. You was just tryin to hydratize me, like them ol boys in NASCAR do
JS: uh.......ok we can go with that
ABFD: <looking at the INC> Ol Shark Dracula, if you think I'm done with you......OH HELL NO! You done wastified my party likker! Son, where I come from THEM'S FIGHTIN WORDS! That ol' boy hit my upside the headparts with a chain! A CHAIN! Can you imagine something like that? Naw, naw. It's ON! It's ON like KILLER KHAN! That ol boy done BROKE the Giant Andre's leg! Son Shark Dracula, Imma gon break both of your le........wait.......Shark Dracula's have legs.......right?
JS: This one does
ABFD: THEN I AM GONNA BREAK BOTH A'YOUR DAMN LEGS SON! WHOOOO HELL YEAH! I'M WILDER N'HELL! THEY CALL ME THE BREEZE!
<Bill settles down and Justin just looks at him>
JS: Feel better?
ABFD: Yessir
JS: Did you see our match this week?
ABFD: No
JS: The Flyin Hawaiians.....
ABFD: the FLYIN Hawaiians? Them ol boys can FLY?
JS: Well......in a manner of speaking......yes
ABFD: OH HELL NO! Now lookitchere, that don't make no sense! How we supposed to catch them sumbitches when they be all flyin up and around in the ringspace?
JS: Well.....I mean they can't actually FLY.......they are high flying though
ABFD: ..........
JS: They don't actually have wings
ABFD: Well everyone knows you can't fly worth a damn without wings
JS: Right........which is why they can't fly
ABFD: Wait, ain't them ol boys the Onslaught Online err OOWXFP......ain't they the ones with them there title belts?
JS: Yes, but this is a non-title match
ABFD: We get nine title matches against them ol boys?
JS: No.....NON title
ABFD: Right, nine titles! HELL YEAH!
JS: No, non, as in none
ABFD: Eight, non, ten
<time passes and we see Justin break out white boards, number books, a lecturn, brings in several guest speakers, and finally Bill seems to get it>
ABFD: So.......what you're sayin.........is that when we beat them ol boys, we don't get jacksquattery for doin it?
JS: Exactly
ABDF: Well that ain't worth a damn! How do we go about getting them there titles? One of them sumbitches would look outstandener than hell on the front of my truck!
JS: Well.......we could ask GM Selena
ABFD: The who now?
JS: The one that doesn't like you
ABFD: .........
JS: The boss
ABFD: .........
JS: The one with the clown
ABFD: Well hell son! That ol Chuckles? I like that sumbitch! Think he can get us some pine cone party likker?
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 17:43:34 GMT -5
The bell sounds and Ghosthead gets to his feet, a look of pain on his face as he is handed the Onslaught Championship and raises it. Rabbit Mask pulls himself to a corner and uses the ropes to get to his feet. His eyes stare into Ghosthead with an evil gleam, and the audience becomes quiet as they know it's about to go down. Rabbit Mask walks to the center of the ring and meets Ghosthead face-to-face. Ghosthead doesn't back down. Rabbit nods, pats Ghost on the back, then bails. The crowd goes silent, as this is not what they had expected.
Rabbit Mask walks through the curtain to the backstage area and is met by a microphone and its own personal handler.
R: Rabbit Mask, great match. I think...
RM: Crowing, I took you out easily tonight. One head drop and you're gone. I know your weakness, it's everybody's weakness. El Lobo can vouch for that. If you're still holding out hope that you have any chance at besting me, one-on-one, then your will is incredible. I commend you on that, but mock you in the same breath. I'm better than you, and tonight, it showed.
R: You lasted till the end, and it took Ghosthead...
RM: Since I've come back to the OOWF, only one man has really challenged me. Only one man has made me think that there may still be a spattering of competition out there for me. Ghosthead. We're so similar, it's almost beautiful, in a way. And while I have zero interest in that joke of a belt that he's been holding onto, I feel no shame in congratulating him on retaining it. You beat me, Ghosthead. Not one-on-one, but you beat me. You and I may be the only ones of our echelon, pride yourself on it.
The reporter goes to ask a question, but Rabbit Mask side-steps him and walks away as we fade.
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 17:46:32 GMT -5
Wyatt is working with Power and Glory in their leased facility in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He appears to be very frustrated with the women
WC: NONONONO NO! Damn it, Clio, you do that tomorrow night and Fire will roll you right up. Tuck faster!
Clio: I'm SORRY, Uncle Wyatt.
WC: Edra, if you throw that kick like that you'll go right over Fire's head and she'll take your knee out.
Edra: Sorry, Uncle Wyatt.
WC: OK, hold it. For the last two days you girls haven't been yourselves. Has Fire finally gotten to you?
Clio: Uncle Wyatt...it's...I'm...we're...
WC: (resigned)OK, look. Let's take the rest of today off, a little light sparring tomorrow, and see what happens.
Edra: Now wait a minute, Uncle Wyatt.
WC: Edra, let's face it. I've pushed you too hard. Let's just go out there tomorrow, and hope for the best. Mrs Darling has obviously gotten to you.
(For once, the women say nothing)
WC: Hey, Fire has to beat us, So let's change tactics. Relax, let things happen, stay out of trouble, keep it safe, and make her work the clock hard. Ten minutes isn't that long.
Clio: But Uncle Wyatt, you always say it's not ten minutes, it's three seconds.
WC: Right. So stay on your feet, off your backs, and keep moving. That's the only way this will work. Go grab a shower. Meet out front in ten minutes, we'll have dinner and a movie.
Two disappointed women head for the locker room as Wyatt sits down with his head in his hands as we....
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 29, 2012 17:47:21 GMT -5
~~~ A RNSFJ approaches Texpress ~~~
RNSFJ: Guys, I need your comments on your loss at the PPV and your upcoming match at Mayhem
Chad: The PPV, man, I can't believe that happened.
Zane: You know, I've seen a lot of strange things in wrestling, but that last sequence was unbelievable
Chad: I know referees can't be everywhere at once, but still
Zane: If there was ever a call for replay in wrestling, that last move was it.
RNSFJ: You know no one has any idea what you are talking about
Chad: What do you mean? Didn't you see the match
RNSFJ: Umm.... no. But neither did anyone else.
Zane: Then Trust Me ((c) Moosehead Jack, 2007) That's all true.
RNSFJ: Ooook. You face Stand Fulton and Mai Muyo tonight
Chad: We will hit them so hard we will hit them hard
RSNFJ: Seriously?
Zane: Stan and Mai are facing a team who has dropped a couple matches lately. Were out for redemption. It doesn't matter what all Mr. Cox has been teaching you, When you're in the ring with Texpress, it's all about how you react. It boils down to instinct. And you only get that with experience. Break out the rules, it's time to see if you Measure Up
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:43:40 GMT -5
We come up in the Destroyatorium, where we see Dynamite Danny Taylor standing behind the bar holding his newly won OOWF Intercontinental Championship. DVD, Lobo, Ashley and Spencer stand on the other side, and it is smiles all around. Danny turns and places the Title Belt up on the mantelpiece, and everyone erupts into cheers. El Lobo comes over and claps his friend on the back.
Lobo: It is good to have gold back in here, no?
Danny's face beams as he nods in agreement. Both Ashley and Spencer come over and give him a big hug.
Ashley: Congrats big guy.
Spencer: We knew you could do it.
Shotglass bounds over and let's out a yip.
DVD: You just won your first singles title, how's it feel?
Danny gives a big thumbs up.
DVD: Well you worked hard for it, you deserve it. Now, let's keep the momentum going. You defend the title at Mayhem vs Ricky Soaring Eagle. He's determined to deliver pain, you should try delivering a victory.
Danny nods, when the phone suddenly rings. Ashley answers it, and pauses before motioning to Danny.
Ashley: It's for you Danny.
Danny looks shocked, as phone calls aren't usually his "thing".
Ashley: It's Jack.
Danny takes the phone, and we can't here what's on the other end, except for the occasional loud belch of course. However, we do see that Danny is obviously moved by the words, even welling up a little. Danny hands the phone back to Ashley, points at it, mouths the words "thank you", then pulls a fosters out from under the bar.
Ashley: He says thanks, he never would have got here without you.
As Ashley finishes up with OBJ, DVD heads over to Danny.
DVD: Enjoy the celebration, but be ready to train first thing in the morning. Ricky Soaring Eagle is tough, but not unbeatable. He wants people to "feel his pain", let's show him a little destruction.
Danny mouths the word Boom, and we
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:44:37 GMT -5
Mai Muyo bounds into the Destroyitarium, seemingly oblivious but obviously in a calculated way. The assembled members of Drink and Destroy stare.Mai: Just delivering some mail to the champion. Mai takes an envelope out from her jacket and walks toward Danny. DDT places his hand outward to stop her, and makes a gesture like lighting a match.Mai: Um...oh! No, not flash paper. It's not from me or the New Guard. But if you're worried, I'll put it here. Mai sets the card down on the bar. She looks up at the mantle at the Intercontinental Championship.Mai: Looks good. For a loaner. Keep it warm. Mai pivots and walks out, smirking.DVD: Knowing the New Guard, that could be anthrax. Ashley: You're ridiculous. Danny reaches over and opens the envelope. It's a postcard. The back reads:Dear Danny, Congratulations on winning the only championship I "never" "technically" "won" on the way to the Grand Slam. You done good. Please accept as my congratulations this commemorative portrait of me. Danny flips the card over...to find an Ecosystem Commemorative Portrait. Danny rolls his eyes.Lobo: Wow. Some folks never change. FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:45:18 GMT -5
Wyatt enters what appears to be his bedroom in their suite in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. If this were a dramatic production youtu.be/d61Clgwi8d0 would be playing in the background.
He sits on the bed and picks up what appears to be a well-worn album.
He opens the album to browse.
The first picture is Wyatt and Beth Banner, holding the UNWF International Title in what appears to be a playful tug-of-war pose.
Several more pages of the two of them together, then a clipping. ”Woman Dies in Wrestling Accident”
The tone of the book changes, to a frail young woman with two tiny children. The woman is very blonde and pale, while the children are obviously darker in complexion.
As the pages turn we see the two girls growing up, the usual photos of playing, dancing, running. As the girls grow the frail young woman seems to age rapidly.
As the young girls are pictured in a cap and gown, only Wyatt is with them. An Obituary notice for Martha Neil is next to the graduation pictures.
The girls are shown receiving athletic letters at a banquet.
Pictures of what appear to be Edra and Clio at various national landmarks follow.
The book is shown to have a number of blank pages...perhaps ready to add more photos...
Wyatt closes the book...turns off the light as we... FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:46:13 GMT -5
Firewoman leaves the Darling Luxury Suites in regular attire as it is still far enough before the show to be getting into ring wear. She's stopped by an SFJ and INC.
FW: I thought I said--
SFJ: The rules say that your suites are off limits.
FW: Fine. What.
The OOWF Promo and Interview banner drops down behind them.
SFJ: Firewoman, you have a handicapped match against Power and Glory tonight. What have you been doing to prepare?
FW: Well, I've not been varying from my usual routine. Run and yoga this morning.
SFJ: That's it?
FW: I try not to do too much more on show days. Alex and I will have a late lunch and be ready to go.
SFJ: So he'll be at ringside with you?
FW: Absolutely not. This is my match, and his presence would detract from the point of Wyatt's bet. But we've been studying our scouting reports and--
SFJ: Scouting reports? But there's no film or anything on Power and Glory?
FW: *batistalaughs* That doesn't mean there aren't things to study. Yeah, Wyatt's kept them mostly under wraps, but Wyatt's matches are available, as are Beth's...I can't imagine he's changed some things too much. We get into patterns in this business, and some of them don't change. Plus...Power and Glory are rookies. Rookies make mistakes, and some of them are fairly predictable. Besides....
Firewoman smiles like the cat that caught ... well, two canaries.
FW: I learned a little bit about their various strengths and weaknesses the other night, more than they think I did. It's never just fun and games with me.
SFJ: Understood. Still....they're very young and energetic.
FW: "Age and treachery will over come youth and skill" any day of the week.
SFJ: But you aren't that much older than they are.
FW: And I'm more skilled. So...do the math.
Firewoman starts to walk off.
SFJ: What about Moose? You haven't even--
Firewoman stops her with a glare and continues to try to leave.
SFJ: Wait!! What about your catch phrase?
Fire turns back around and sighs heavily.
FW: Fine. No matter what, I look forward to the challenge tonight. And I look forward to teaching Power and Glory ANOTHER lesson in the big grown up world. And that will sparkle with me.
Firewoman walks off and the scene fades.
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:46:55 GMT -5
Wyatt is typing on his computer following the radio program when there is a knock on the door...He opens it to see Firewoman's Man Friday Lucky.
WC: Lucky! Come in! (Wyatt extends a hand and Lucky shakes it) I figured you would be busy today. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit.
L: I thought I should bring this back to you. (Lucky hands Wyatt the barbed wire rosary that a stagehand brought him after the Pay Per View)
WC: Any clues?
L: Not a one. Tracked down the stage hand. He didn't remember anything. The young kid was nervous about all the strange people, he didn't notice who gave it to him.
WC: I see. Well, I appreciate your giving this your attention. (Wyatt places the rosary in his shirt pocket) I know your boss keeps you busy.
L: One more thing. I've seen you with your team. They seem like decent women.
WC: Thank you. Her mom and I tried hard.
L: That's an amazing story about you raising them with her.
WC: Well, I was always raised to do the right thing. And it seemed like it at the time. It's been a tremendous stabilizing influence in my life.
L: Truth, now. Who wrote that apology?
WC: Clio wrote it with my help, but she knew she needed to do that.
L: Why did she write it down?
WC: Did you see them try to cut a promo the other day? Microphones and cameras scare her. I only hope she gets used to it fast.
L: I'm sorry that things got out of hand with Fire. She's moody that way sometimes.
WC: I'm just surprised she hasn't tried to kill me yet.
L: Suggestion? Don't give her a reason.
WC: Well, we'll see tonight. Thanks for stopping by. (Wyatt extends a hand and Lucky shakes it) Good luck tonight.
L: You too. If nothing else, I think the three of them will tear the house down tonight.
WC: Me too. Take care.
Lucky leaves the room and Wyatt closes the door. He goes back to the computer and after a few minutes someone else is at the door. It turns out to be the SFJ from the other night.
SFJ: Mr Cox?
WC: This isn't a good time.
SFJ: But I have questions.
WC: The ladies will be available after the show tonight. No pre-match interviews. Sorry.
SFJ: Is it true you received a package from Moosehead Jack?
WC: I have no comment at this time on Mr Quinn.
SFJ: Is it true that you told Stan Fulton that he couldn't train with Power and Glory because of his attack on the Heavyweight Champion on Sunday Night?
WC: Mr Fulton and Ms Muyo are not welcome here when they participate in gang attacks that are clearly designed to forward the career of a single member of the New Guard. I strongly urged, and still urge, Mr Fulton to get out of there before he becomes as irrelevant to the New Guard and the OOWF as Paul Roma is to the legacy of the Horsemen.
SFJ: Are you suing the OOWF over The History and the Hidden Truth behind the UNWF: Murder in the Ring ?
WC: This matter is before the legal team of the UNWF Survivors Trust. The main issues involved are the use of the UNWF intellectual property which was conveyed to the OOWF by someone who did not have authority to do so. Also there is a matter of shoddy research and half-truths utilized by the production team which led to a production within inches of slander and libel. The legal team of Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz, & Schwartz and myself representing the trust will meet with the OOWF legal team in the next ten days to discuss the possible remedies.
SFJ: Are you the direct beneficiary of the UNWF Survivors Trust?
WC: I am not a beneficiary, but I am the trustee.
SFJ: Who is the direct beneficiary of the UNWF Survivors Trust?
WC: No comment.
SFJ: Is it the team of Power and Glory?
WC: No comment.
SFJ: Why are you being evasive?
WC: Because it's none of your business.
SFJ: Is it true that Power and Glory may forfeit tonight’s match?
WC: (Hesitates) No, of course not. Why would you even suggest this?
SFJ: We heard about a confrontation in front of the Darling Suites that...
WC: No comment.
SFJ: Will Power and Glory be able to compete tonight.
WC: Yes, they're ready to go.
SFJ: But are they in the mindset to win tonight's match?
WC: They don't have to be. All they need to do is keep Firewoman on the go for 10 minutes; they do that, then Firewoman lobbies to get them contracts. That simple.
SFJ: But what if they lose.
WC: No comment.
SFJ: Has Firewoman broken their spirit?
WC: (Hesitates) I hope not. Because if she has, things could get very ugly. No more questions please.
Wyatt quickly shuts the door as...someone else knocks at the door? Wyatt angrily opens the door
WC: I said no more...
Wyatt comes face to face with Justin Sane?
WC: Oh, what is is, Justin?
JS: Can I borrow Five Dollars?
WC: (reaches into his pocket and pulls out ten dollars) Rotblott's Discount Warehouse, 443 Adelaide Street West. Taxi stand in the front of the building. Here, here's five for you too.
JS: What's the extra five dollars for.
WC: (whispering) They also have...Bubble Wrap.
JS: Oh boy! I'm on it!
Wyatt quickly shuts the door as we...
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:47:27 GMT -5
FADE in on Mai Muyo and Stan Fulton training. They’re giving a pair of jobbers all they can handle. After some time they take a break.
MM: “Stan, can I ask you a question?”
SF: “Ask anything. We’re partners.”
MM: “You’ve said a few things lately that make me proud to be your partner.”
SF: “Thanks. I speak my mind. Whether that’s good or bad is for someone else to decide.”
MM: “Right! We’re going to be judged on that final day and our actions on this earth are what’s going to be studied.”
SF: “So far I’m in agreement with you. Go on.”
MM: “So when you make an obligation and stick with it even though you don’t want to, that’s good right?”
SF: “Yep.”
MM: “So why are we considered heels?”
SF: “Because the New Guard is portrayed that way by the rest of the roster. Because some of the things we’ve done haven’t been necessarily good. Davin and Outback Jack, for instance. Those were bad things. Even though we did them for the greater good of the company in our opinion, they are bad things. We’re judged on our actions as well as our speech.”
MM: “But I don’t like being heels.”
SF: “I’m not totally comfortable with it either. But Chris and Matt are our leaders and we’ve gone where they tell us. That instance with Poe at his birthday party. I respected Poe and respected that when his time was done, he walked away. Chris and Matt don’t understand that we don’t have to lump everyone in together. Not everything is black and white.”
MM: “So why are we heels, but when Firewoman is taking advantage of Clio and Edra and being all mean and devious, she’s still considered a face?”
SF: “Because she’s part of the problem. She and those like her have been manipulating the OOWF for years so it’s their personal playground. That’s what I joined the New Guard to stop. Lisa just hasn’t been at the top of my list.”
MM: “Yet she and Alex defeated us Sunday night.”
SF: “That they did. They’re a better tag team than we are right now. That won’t last long. Lisa is manipulating Alex and eventually he’ll realize that. Then again, Alex is probably manipulating Lisa too.”
MM: “This is all very confusing.”
SF: “It is. It’s also why so many come to the OOWF and don’t last very long.”
Pause...
MM: “I miss training with Wyatt.”
SF: “As do I. And I have a feeling that...”
MM: “What?”
SF: “My gut tells me something big’s coming. Chris has been acting weirder and it’s like Matt isn’t even here. J-P is getting more violent and Aina and The Kai are only here on event nights. Watch your back these next few days, Mai.”
MM: “I don’t like the sound of that.”
SF: “Me neither. Me neither.”
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:48:02 GMT -5
*the camera fades back in to Stan Fulton and Mai Muyo, who are walking away after cutting their promo*
Evans: So whats this whole thing about me acting weird?
Fulton: Chris, its like I don't even know you anymore.
E: What are you talking about, Stan?
F: You're starting to act like those that we're fighting against, and...
E: Okay, I don't know where you're getting any of this from, but let me try to clear things up for you. Like you said, what we did to Outback Jack and Davin, you may not have liked how it was done, but that HAD to be done. There was no getting around it and you know it. Jack had lost his passion and was basically just a shell of his former self, so we did that to protect whatever legacy he had. And Davin, well, what can I say about him? He buried us at every chance he got, he ran down others that he felt weren't in his league. And now that he's gone, we're got guys like Ghosthead who have stepped up their game. Hell, even Sparxx has got his, well, spark back.
*Fulton appears to come around, but Mai still looks uneasy.*
E: Mai, you should know out of all of us what its like to be around someone that you once respected, but had gotten too out of control. Who's to say that Davin, in the twilight of his career, wouldn't have done the exact same things that your brother did in order to stay on top? And we all know that Fire, or hell, even Alex, have no problems in doing the same. Hell, watch what she does to Power & Glory tonight, and then come back to me and tell me that this movement should not continue.
*This appears to get Mai on the same page.*
Well, anyway, you guys have got Texpress tonight. Good luck, alright?
As Fulton and Mai leave, Evans shakes his head and chuckles to himself, almost as if to think to himself "I can't believe they actually bought that shit."
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on May 30, 2012 16:48:36 GMT -5
*Fade in to the Destroyatorium, where we find El Lobo Sangriento DRINKING~!...Very heavily, which, despite what you may think, is uncommon pre-Mayhem. What? It is. Stop judging...
ELS: *glug glug glug*
…
ELS: *glug glug glug*
…
ELS: *glug glug glug*
…
ELS: BUUUUUUUUUUUUURP~!
…
Voiceover Guy: Is that Australian for anything?
ELS: Nope. Just a belch.
VG: Are you planning on promoing?
ELS: Nope. Just gonna drink.
VG: Any particular reason? You know you have a match tonight, right?
ELS: Not really. It’s a comedy match against a Chikara-type guy.
VG: Actually, Comrade Sharkoff is a deadly serious competitor. You should really be taking him as seriously as you would any other OOWF competitor.
ELS: Really?
VG: Really.
ELS: When did this happen?
VG: A while back.
ELS: Well shit. Put on a pot of coffee, would you? I’ve got some sober to be getting.
VG: *sigh*
ELS: I heard that, eh?
VG: Wasn’t trying to hide it, Lobo.
*FADE*
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