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Post by BookerShark on Aug 18, 2012 4:04:33 GMT -5
Firewoman is SITTING~! in the Darling Luxury Suites, sort of hunched over her coffee. Alexis comes in.
LD: Wow, you look like shit.
FW: I feel like shit.
LD: Hung over?
FW: No alcohol, remember? No, I had the weirdest dream. There were like two or three of everyone in the OOWF and we were all stuck in some kind of feedback loop. It was like that episode of Star Trek, "Cause and Effect" where the Enterprise keeps colliding with the Bozeman and so Beverly has to...what?
LD: Your nerd is showing.
FW: Whatever. I kept expecting John DeLancie to show up.
LD: ....
FW: Seriously?
LD: Seriously yourself. John DeLancie wasn't in that episode.
FW: No, but he does appear in number of time paradox kind of....
LD: ....
FW: Anyway, I feel like my head is completely split it two. Are you done being bitchy with Alex?
Alexis sits down, arms folded.
LD: Who's being bitchy?
FW: You are.
LD: Because my own brother doesn't want to tag with me? Way to make me feel like a failure.
FW: That's not what he said. Or at least what he meant. He was trying to protect me.
LD: Whatever. He can find someone else to be second choice.
FW: He did. But I'm busy elsewhere, so he's back to his first choice.
LD: Oh, don't start this--
FW: Lexie...one of the benefits of many of my issues is that I don't care about these things as much as other people do. You are twins. You will always share a unique bond because of that, and ... other things that have happened in your life. It's perfectly okay with me that he would have rather won the Grand Slam with you at his side. Having a "lack of normal affect" means there's significantly fewer feelings to get hurt.
Fire's voice is very 'matter-of-fact' and detached, and while Alexis at first begins to protest, she finds herself believing her.
LD: We're not in competition, Fire, we never have been.
FW: Well, I've never seen us that way. YOU however....
Alexis starts to sip her coffee and then starts to laugh slightly.
LD: Yeah, okay, you got me there. But Fire...
FW: Yeah?
LD: I'm kind of glad you ignored me.
FW: Ignored what?
LD: When I told you to back off years ago.
FW: I backed off...then.
LD: Well...I think it's worked out okay.
Firewoman plays with the ring she now wears on her finger, since the vow renewal ceremony, instead of on her neck.
FW: Yeah...me too. Okay, so now that that's out of the way...I need you to do this for me.
LD: What?
FW: Talk him into the Darling Twins tag team. I need him to have something to do, Lex...if he doesn't, he'll get involved with Moose and I, and....he just needs to stay out of it.
LD: Well, I'll try, but...Fire, Alex is right. Just because it's an Onslaught Match, doesn't mean Moose will care. He will still try something, and he could--
FW: *batistalaughs* Oh, I don't doubt that for a second. But really...I'm his sister. He couldn't really hurt me anymore than Alex could hurt you. However, if any of you are there, he wouldn't hesitate to ... look, please, just do this.
LD: Since when do you say please?
FW: I dunno...one of my therapy sessions was on manners.
LD: ....
FW: ....
LD: Fine.
Fire practically jumps out of her seat to hug Lexie, just as Alex walks in.
AD: Here's where you all are. There's just one of each of you right?
FW: Huh?
LD: Never mind. What's up, Alex?
AD: I thought I'd help Fire train a little, and--
FW: I'm going for a run. Lexie has to talk to you.
Fire gets up and leaves.
AD: Wow, not even a kiss. And ... she wasn't wearing running clothes...
LD: I know. Sit down.
BLINCy pulls back as Alex sits down and we fade out.
Back in the Hallway of ... whatever it is, Fire sees LD Williams and Kai talking, and IMMEDIATELY turns the other direction.
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 18, 2012 4:05:07 GMT -5
(Flashback to just before the NeverEnding Promo III began:
Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the twins are at a restaurant in Kagoshima enjoying an authentic Satsuma Provincial meal.)
Mary Lou: This is so good.
Clio: Yeah, this is great.
Edra: Very different.
Wyatt: The great part about this tour is that we get to try different dishes from the different parts of Japan. I've always been partial to tonkatsu. They fix it differently in this part of the world, caramelized pork, not breaded.
Mary Lou: Are we going to go back to the suites after dinner?
Wyatt: I thought we'd go take a look at the aquarium. They say the view of the volcano there is beautiful. Maybe go to the shopping center and ride the Ferris wheel there. They say it gives you the best view of the volcano.
Mary Lou: Is it dangerous?
Wyatt: No more dangerous than what we went through last night.
Clio: In the ring OR in the dressing room.
Edra: Clio, Mary Lou apologized.
Clio: I know, but Dad didn't have to laugh.
Mary Lou: I got even, dear.
Edra: So, we face Stan and Mai this week. What's the plan.
Wyatt: Turn up what you did last night. Keep it from being personal. Just keep to business. We don't need any....
(Wyatt looks up to see Mai's brother entering the restaurant. He turns white.)
Wyatt: Nononono...what is HE doing here?
Mary Lou: Who, sweetheart?
Wyatt: Him. Junichiro Muyo. Mai's brother.
Clio: That's Ecosystem?
Edra: The same.
Mary Lou: What's he doing here?
Wyatt: Knowing him, to get to us.
Mary Lou: But isn't he retired?
Wyatt: From wrestling, yes. From his family, never.
Mary Lou: You think he'd pull something?
Wyatt: No, nothing at all. Just carve his initials into your head, slice of a piece of my skin to eat...
Edra & Clio: Ewwww...
Wyatt: I just hope he's here to have dinner, and nothing else. Girls, you haven't finished your dinner.
Edra: We lost our appetite.
Clio: Me, too.
Wyatt: Do you want to take the rest of it back for later?
Clio: No thanks, Dad. This isn't very good pork.
Mary Lou: Oh, it's not pork. You got the smoked eel.
Edra & Clio: Ewwww..
Wyatt: Well, I think you'll like dessert. Karukan. Sweet cakes made from steamed yams and rice flour.
Edra: Can we just go, Dad.
Wyatt: Probably not a bad idea. Let's go.
(The family gets up to leave the restaurant as we...)
FADE.
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 18, 2012 4:05:41 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? ~~~ Fade ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 18, 2012 5:20:30 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? <Chad and the SFJ's walk down the corridor toward the hot tub, only to be met by Awesome Bill's ongoing battle with the 1982 Denver Broncos and Opus and Justins epic sword fight. They enter the Hot Tub room to see Rev Stan baptizing Jamie Lynn Spears, Ron Simmons, and Ellie May by immersion, all while Mai continues to preach and do clap push ups at the side of the hot tub.> Chad: Uh, ladies, we may have a bit of a wait for the tub. ....fade?....
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 18, 2012 5:21:11 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? <Chad and the SFJ's walk down the corridor toward the hot tub, only to be met by Awesome Bill's ongoing battle with the 1982 Denver Broncos and Opus and Justins epic sword fight. They enter the Hot Tub room to see Rev Stan baptizing Jamie Lynn Spears, Ron Simmons, and Ellie May by immersion, all while Mai continues to preach and do clap push ups at the side of the hot tub.> Chad: Uh, ladies, we may have a bit of a wait for the tub. ....fade?.... ~~~ Chad and the SFJ's re-enter the dressing room where Chad has just texted the SFJ's to join him. Zane looks up, and sees 2 Chad Madisons and 8 SFJ's ~~~ Zane: This can't be good Chad2: Ladies, it looks like there's twice as much of me to go around tonight, let's hit the Sauna! Hang your suits on the hooks by the door! ~~~ He opens the door to the Sauna room, and drops trou. We get a lot of blurred skin as all 10 remove their bathing suits and head inside ~~~ Zane: I need a drink ~~~ Bridgette arrives on cue with an ice cold Aquafina ~~~ Bridgette: Here ya go hon. Zane: Let's get out of here for a while, this place is starting to get to me ~~~ Fade ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:47:37 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? <Chad and the SFJ's walk down the corridor toward the hot tub, only to be met by Awesome Bill's ongoing battle with the 1982 Denver Broncos and Opus and Justins epic sword fight. They enter the Hot Tub room to see Rev Stan baptizing Jamie Lynn Spears, Ron Simmons, and Ellie May by immersion, all while Mai continues to preach and do clap push ups at the side of the hot tub.> Chad: Uh, ladies, we may have a bit of a wait for the tub. ....fade?.... ~~~ Chad and the SFJ's re-enter the dressing room where Chad has just texted the SFJ's to join him. Zane looks up, and sees 2 Chad Madisons and 8 SFJ's ~~~ Zane: This can't be good Chad2: Ladies, it looks like there's twice as much of me to go around tonight, let's hit the Sauna! Hang your suits on the hooks by the door! ~~~ He opens the door to the Sauna room, and drops trou. We get a lot of blurred skin as all 10 remove their bathing suits and head inside ~~~ Zane: I need a drink ~~~ Bridgette arrives on cue with an ice cold Aquafina ~~~ Bridgette: Here ya go hon. Zane: Let's get out of here for a while, this place is starting to get to me <Zane and Bridgette exit into the cool night air, with the intent of exploring Kagoshima and forgetting about the Never Ending Promo. Unfortunately as they turn the first corner, the restaurant that Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins ate at is ablaze, as Ecosystem found out they were eating there just a few minutes too late. They approach the Amu Plaza Kagoshima shopping center, only to discover a Fire and a Moose fighting atop the Amuran ferris wheel, with a livid Kayfabe two cars away trying to stop them. As they approach the old docks overlooking the volcano, they see Ellie May and Justin fishing in the aquarium, while Awesome Bill is at the mouth of the volcano offering a sacrifice of a pint of Pine Cone Party Saki. They approach the statue of Saigo Takamori, only to see Danny Taylor and Rabbit Mask slugging it out. As they approach the statue of Okubo Toshimichi, they see Danny Taylor and Ricky Soaring Eagle slugging it out. As they approach the Kagoshima Botanical Garden they see Alex, Alexis, Clio, and Edra slugging it out. Finally, Bridgette turns to Zane.> Bridgette: Sugah, let's head back to the suite. Zane: Yeah, nothing much to see here, is there. Bridgette: Naw. ....the end?....Naaawww.....
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:48:24 GMT -5
The following music plays:
The OOWF ring is set up with the Jeritron 6000, and all the props for Chris Jericho's highlight reel. Jericho does indeed come down the ramp to his music, complete with black leather studded jacket, no shirt, those faded jeans, and cowboy boots....
There is a slight pause while the writer recovers from this visual for a bit.....
Ahem....The crowd pops big for this surprise, and he graciously acknowledges them.
Y2J: Thank you...thank you SO MUCH for that warm welcome. You know, the last time I was here....well, it wasn't such a great experience.
The crowd cheers, laughs, boos, etc.
Y2J: So I was kind of surprised when Selena called to invite me. I was even more surprised when WWE said it was okay for me to come, even make a special trip to Japan, especially since...well, there's no way around it...the OOWF wrestlers essentially owned our asses when WWE came to visit.
The crowd cheers. They love their OOWF Superstars!
Y2J: Well, let's get to it. You have a feud brewing here that MANY of you have been waiting for, and that has captured the attention of the entire professional wrestling community. And the two members of that feud are the ones that are going to be on the Highlight Reel tonight! So let's bring out the first one.
Jericho takes a moment a little past when the cheers of the crowd dies down to collect his thoughts. He takes a couple of deep breaths.
Y2J: I...I'm just struggling to find the words....This person routinely turns the OOWF upside down, continues to do things no one would expect or believe in the ring. I truly DO mean it when I say my next guest is one of THE most talented wrestlers I've ever seen. Without further ado.....my first guest.....my former fiance.....Firewoman.
Firewoman's music plays, and she appears. She walks somewhat tentatively down the ramp, wearing jeans, boots, ad plain grey tank top, and a Phoenix Rising hoodie. She gets in the ring to cheers, and a small pocket of "you screwed Y2J" chants, which she nods to but ignores. She stands back a bit, but when Jericho offers her a seat on one of the stools, she takes it, picking up the mic. There's a long pause as the two kind of look at each other awkwardly, and the crowd cheers rise and fall. Finally, Jericho is the first to speak.
Y2J: Fire....
FW: Chris....
Y2J: You're looking great. You look great.
FW: Thanks....so do you.
The crowd cheers this opening exchange, and they look around and then back at each other.
Y2J: Well, I know this is weird, but I want to thank you for agreein--
FW: Chris, before we go any further, I just...I have something I need to say.
Y2J: Oh...well, go on then...
FW: Chris...I'm....I'm sorry.
Y2J: For.....
FW: I'm sorry about our wedding. I've been doing a lot of reviewing of my past behaviors and...well, I think I just...I didn't want a big deal, and ... instead of just telling you that, I acted out...and made a HUGE, huge mistake. It doesn't justify anything...I know that. And I know we've spoken privately, but since....well, since I humiliated you publicly, I felt I should apologize publicly.
She takes another deep breath.
FW: So...I am sorry about our wedding....about everything.
The crowd cheers. Jericho smiles and walks up to Fire. He takes her hand. Awww...He looks down and sees the wedding ring there.
Y2J: Well... I'm going to have to disagree that it was a HUGE mistake. I mean, you're still married to the douchebag....
FW: Chris...
Y2J: Kidding, I'm kidding...I never liked him at all. But...are you happy?
FW: ...
Y2J: ...
FW: Yes.
Y2J: Well then, it hardly seems like a mistake. But we have talked privately, but thank you for saying it publicly. So I guess that means it's my turn to say...publicly--
They are interrupted by "Scarecrow" by Ministry. Moosehead Jack comes to the ring, scowling as usual. He slides under the ropes, and then snatches the microphone away from Firewoman. Jericho stands protectively in front of her.
Y2J: Ladies and gentlemen, my other guest, Moosehead Jack.
They boo. He sucks it up.
MHJ: Well, isn't this special. Apologies all around. You know, Jericho? This is all your fault.
Y2J: How do you figure that?
MHJ: Because you could have just eloped with her or something. But no, you had to go for the big splashy deal, giving Darling plenty of time for his plan.
Y2J: His plan?
FW: *borrowing Jericho's mic* He thinks Alex tricked me into it, got me drunk on purpose.
MHJ: So, really, Jericho, if you hadn't had the hair-brained idea to have a big in-the-ring wedding, which NEVER EVER WORKS OUT, I would still have my sister.
FW: Moose, you DO still have--
MHJ: And I wouldn't be trying to bring her back.
Y2J: But Moose, many people witnessed...he didn't trick her, and...well, really, now that I look back on it...it's not that big a surprise, is it?
MHJ: Oh good....you too. You've become one of ...THEM.
The crowd boos.
Y2J: No, I just think...you know--
MHJ: That's your problem. You spent too much time thinking.
Y2J: No, I don't think so Moose. I mean, I've had a lot of time to think about everything that went down and...
He turns back to Fire.
Y2J: I have had a lot of time to think. And, I hear your apology. And I know how hard it was for you to work up to that, and I'm proud of how much you've changed, and how you're working on yourself.
The crowd cheers. Moose sticks his finger down his throat and pretends to gag.
Y2J: So my response to you...in public, like our wedding, and like that apology that you just gave....
Jericho again reaches out to take her hand...awww....
Except...he doesn't grab her hand. He grabs her wrist. Hard. Fire tries to pull away.
Y2J: I have in fact found the words for you, and for your pathetic apology. My response is that you are nothing but a BRUTAL. FILTHY. BOTTOM-FEEDING. TRASH-BAG. HO!!!
Most of the crowd erupts in boos, although some do cheer. Fire is shocked and twists her arm up trying to pull away. Jericho won't let go and continues to berate her about ruining his big moment, etc. when he feels a hand on his shoulder that spins him around. It's...
Moosehead Jack?
Jericho still has a hold of Fire's wrist so he's pulled her around awkwardly. It looks like the shock has worn off Fire though, as she is more angry that surprised now.
MHJ: Take. Your. Hands. Off. My. Sister.
Moose fires at Jericho with a stiff right, which does cause him to let go. Fire recovers, and makes quick eye contact with Moose. At a nod from Fire, Moose kicks Jericho into the gut, doubling him over, then lifts him up for a power bomb. Fire grabs Jericho's head and hits a neckbreaker at the same time. The crowd goes kind of wild, but is kind of confused too.
Jericho lays there, sort of rolling back and forth. Moose glares down at him, and then back up at Fire, who is surprised that Moose stood up for her. She starts to thank him, and appears to be pleading with him to admit that he does still care, and that they CAN be siblings again. Moose stares at her, as she slowly moves closer to him. Finally she gets ... too close, as Moose grabs her and ...DDT!!! She's laid out next to Jericho as the crowd boos. Moose smirks at both of them, and at the crowd, as he rolls out and his music plays.
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:49:33 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? <Chad and the SFJ's walk down the corridor toward the hot tub, only to be met by Awesome Bill's ongoing battle with the 1982 Denver Broncos and Opus and Justins epic sword fight. They enter the Hot Tub room to see Rev Stan baptizing Jamie Lynn Spears, Ron Simmons, and Ellie May by immersion, all while Mai continues to preach and do clap push ups at the side of the hot tub.> Chad: Uh, ladies, we may have a bit of a wait for the tub. ....fade?.... ~~~ Chad and the SFJ's re-enter the dressing room where Chad has just texted the SFJ's to join him. Zane looks up, and sees 2 Chad Madisons and 8 SFJ's ~~~ Zane: This can't be good Chad2: Ladies, it looks like there's twice as much of me to go around tonight, let's hit the Sauna! Hang your suits on the hooks by the door! ~~~ He opens the door to the Sauna room, and drops trou. We get a lot of blurred skin as all 10 remove their bathing suits and head inside ~~~ Zane: I need a drink ~~~ Bridgette arrives on cue with an ice cold Aquafina ~~~ Bridgette: Here ya go hon. Zane: Let's get out of here for a while, this place is starting to get to me <Zane and Bridgette exit into the cool night air, with the intent of exploring Kagoshima and forgetting about the Never Ending Promo. Unfortunately as they turn the first corner, the restaurant that Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins ate at is ablaze, as Ecosystem found out they were eating there just a few minutes too late. They approach the Amu Plaza Kagoshima shopping center, only to discover a Fire and a Moose fighting atop the Amuran ferris wheel, with a livid Kayfabe two cars away trying to stop them. As they approach the old docks overlooking the volcano, they see Ellie May and Justin fishing in the aquarium, while Awesome Bill is at the mouth of the volcano offering a sacrifice of a pint of Pine Cone Party Saki. They approach the statue of Saigo Takamori, only to see Danny Taylor and Rabbit Mask slugging it out. As they approach the statue of Okubo Toshimichi, they see Danny Taylor and Ricky Soaring Eagle slugging it out. As they approach the Kagoshima Botanical Garden they see Alex, Alexis, Clio, and Edra slugging it out. Finally, Bridgette turns to Zane.> Bridgette: Sugah, let's head back to the suite. Zane: Yeah, nothing much to see here, is there. Bridgette: Naw. ....the end?....Naaawww..... <back in the backstage area. we get the narrator from Squidbillies narrating the fight....> <one of the Bill's has finally triumphed over the 1982 Denver Broncos. He stands over them breathing hard, bloody and exhausted, takes a long swig of PCPS and yells....> THATS for beating the Falcons in the Superbowl! DIIIIIIIIRTY BIRDS! <we hear someone try to explain that that was in 1999, but logic and Bill go together like PCPS and.......well anything. On another side of the fight Opus and Justin stop their sword fight of epic epicness when it is clear that neither can win. They both bow and lay down their swords. Justin gets an inspired look on his face and pulls out a pack of cards. He grins and his eyes narrow.......? JS: GO. FISH. <Opus' eyes narrow as well, and they sit down cross leg in the middle of the chaotic brawl and play the worlds most deadly serious game of Go Fish........ <Ok, over there.......well that's just a few of the Moose's and a few of the Firewoman's fighting. We have seen that before, they are all beating the hell out of one another. And not far from that, Power and Glory and the Darling Twins are doing all they can to murder one another, pretty standard fare...... <Ok this looks new and interesting, Stank, FF Capslock, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are fighting........wait, through the magic of the Never Ending Promo, it looks like they have assembled a ring, and we have an eight man tag team match. Stank, FF Capslock, Stank & Attitude Adjuster vs. Johnny Adrenaline, Attitude Adjuster, FF Capslock & Johnny Adrenaline. In a steel cage four corner pole match, with the Promo of the Year, Tag Team of the Year, Feud of the Year and Catchphrase of the Year awards hanging there to be used as weapons. Have fun with that!> <I know, let's go over to Ric's Sandwich Shoppe for a bit of refreshment and see.......that Ric Flair is engaging in a chopping argument with Ecosystem......> RF: <CHOP> EAT FRESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO Eco: <CHOP> EAT FLESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO <Rachel Ray walks in, again, why wouldn't she?> RR: <CHOP, CHOP> EAT DELISH FATBOYS! WHOOOOOO <Annnnnnnd as if on cue, why yes, that IS Salmonjunkie> SJ: <CHOP><CHOP><CHOP> EAT FISH FATTIES! WHOOOOOOOO........also be sure to check out my band on tour! <Ok, enough of that silliness, we see Ghosthead walking down the hall, leading a legion of..........what appears to be the undead. Oh goody. Before he can get to the fight and unleash unholy destruction on the OOWF and everyone in it, sending the universe spiraling into a atom crushing singularity, Stan and Mai burst out of the hot tub room, Mai riding on Stan's shoulders, both of them singing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as loudly as they can. Mai has a supersoaker filled with what must be holy water, because as she squirts the undead, they evaporate into a pile of mush, which Drunkey and Drunkette proceed to eat up.> Seriously, this place is too weird for words. <In darkened corner of the brawl, we see the OOWF world heavyweight champion Chris Evans standing at a lecturn, wearing a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches holding his OOWF title on his shoulder. He appears to be going through all the reasons that HE is the greatest OOWF Champion of all time, and was the driving force behind the Brass Knuckle Kings. At the lecturn across from him, Matt Folz stands, wearing a conservative suit, and a Green Bay Packers tie. He has a pair of reading glasses on his nose, and he retorts Chris' reply. In the audience sits a barely conscious Eric O'Mac, and Shawn Johnson, who adds nothing, but continuously hurls racial slurs at the two of them, despite them both being American. Moving along> <The Army of Danny Taylor's has Rabbit Mask cornered. Rabbit snarls and grabs the Danny's one by one and begins dropping them on their heads. The sickening sound of necks breaking can be heard over the maelstrom. It finally comes down to one Rabbit and one Danny and they tear into one another. Rabbit tries to escape using parkour, but Danny shows ridiculously mad skillz and he keeps up with him, chasing him through the arena. I am not following that> <In the sauna, Chad, Bridgette and Zane, along with a bevy of SFJ's sit and relax, far away from the war outside........or so they think. As they relax, Gay For Pay walks in and drops their towels. Zane gets a little defensive since Bridgette is in there and all. The other SFJ's scatter> CM: Ah man, look what you did! PT: I heard all that was from Texas was steers and queers. I hate steers. <not quite sure how to take this, Texpress do what wrestlers do, they begin to fight with GFP. They spill out of the locker room, all four naked as the day they were born. They fight past the multiple Firewoman's, who both stop and get an eye full before Mooses attack them again and that fight continues on.> <Over where it all started, The Kai and LD Williams are standing there. Chuckles has joined them and has one of those old fashioned adding machines. As something gets broken, he calculates the cost and it gets added to the massive roll of paper that has already been calculated> LD: What is that? C: Juh LD: My BILL? C: Juh, Juh LD: No, I think you made a mistake, that is a phone number...... C: Juh juh juh LD: THAT IS REALLY MY BILL? HOLY.........crud The Kai: Let the Kai handle this. Chuckles, can you do something for me? C: Juh Kai: I want you to pick up that adding machine C: Juh <he does> Kai: Now, I want you to turn that sumbitch sideways C: j-juh? Kai: Yes, just like that. Now, I want you to shine it up real nicely! The Kai wants to see his pretty face in that adding machine! Use all the elbow grease ya got! <Chuckles uses all his energy to shine it up, clearly not aware of where this is going> Kai: Now, the Kai wants you to hand that adding machine to me.......... <he does> Kai: So the Kai can stick it STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDYASS!!!!! <We cut to LD Williams, whose eyes go wide in shock, and his jaw drops open> C: JUH.........JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <well, that was disturbing. What's left? Oh yes, there is Comrade Sharkoff and Ricky Soaring Eagle fighting it out. Nothing to see there really, RSE is angry about something, and Sharkoff is equally upset. They stop and sit down at a chessboard. They run through a few moves, then Sharkoff catches RSE cheating! Sharkoff grabs his hand and holds it to the table, then produces a NAIL GUN and NAILS Soaring Eagles hand to the table! OUCH! Soaring Eagle howls in pain and tries to pull his hand away, but to no avail.> <Oh, here comes Firewoman after her promo with Jericho and Moose, who thought THAT was a good idea. Fire stops and admires the Gay For Pay/Texpress fight for a moment, allowing Jericho to catch up with her. He begins arguing with her again, the scene goes black and white: Fire: Play it once, Chris. For old times' sake. Chris: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Fire. Fire: Play it, Chris. Play "Crucify Yourself." Chris: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Fire. I'm a little rusty on it. Fire: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum... [Chris begins playing] Fire: Sing it, Chris. Chris: [singing along with the rest of Fozzy] Unraveling at the seams, sanity waves goodbye Doubting my beliefs, hope and love is a lie And it goes on and on the voices never end and it goes on and on and on You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man And you crucify yourself........ Nathan Explosion: What the hell is that? Toki: Thats sounds like the awfulest sounds evers Skiwsgaar: Thats makes my brain hurts Murderface: Ohhhh god.....I think my dick just retreated into my body Pickles: This is freakin aaaaaaaaaawful Nathan: [rushing up] Chris, I thought I told you never to play-... [Sees Fire.] Nathan:..........something that notmetal ever again? <Dethklok and Fozzy get into a brawl while Fire watches that. What she doesn't see is Moose heading in her direction with HDBIV. Just when it looks like she is going to get attacked, we hear someone yell> SINNERS!!!!! SINNERS!!!!!!! SINNNERS!!!!! REPENT YOUR EVIL WAYS! LET ME SHOW YOU THE WAY! I, HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER, CHOSEN ONE OF GOD, SPIRITUAL LEADER, AND ALL AROUND GOOD GUY TIM TEBOW CAN SHOW YOU THE WAY! JUST SPEND FIVE MINUTES WITH ME AND I WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! <Everyone stops and stares> <Timmy drops to one knee and Tebows, Moose makes a beeline for him and SLAMS him upside the head with Happy Deth Bat. Tebow falls to the floor, blood pouring from his head. Moose brings the bad down repeatedly until Timmy is a twitching, gory pile of mush. Moose spits on him for good measure. Everyone cheers, then goes back to their brawls. Dethklok looks impressed> NE: That was THE most BRUTAL thing EVER! <Dethklok grab Fozzy's instruments and begin to play Laser Cannon Deth Sentence and we fade to black..........for now>
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:51:17 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? <Chad and the SFJ's walk down the corridor toward the hot tub, only to be met by Awesome Bill's ongoing battle with the 1982 Denver Broncos and Opus and Justins epic sword fight. They enter the Hot Tub room to see Rev Stan baptizing Jamie Lynn Spears, Ron Simmons, and Ellie May by immersion, all while Mai continues to preach and do clap push ups at the side of the hot tub.> Chad: Uh, ladies, we may have a bit of a wait for the tub. ....fade?.... ~~~ Chad and the SFJ's re-enter the dressing room where Chad has just texted the SFJ's to join him. Zane looks up, and sees 2 Chad Madisons and 8 SFJ's ~~~ Zane: This can't be good Chad2: Ladies, it looks like there's twice as much of me to go around tonight, let's hit the Sauna! Hang your suits on the hooks by the door! ~~~ He opens the door to the Sauna room, and drops trou. We get a lot of blurred skin as all 10 remove their bathing suits and head inside ~~~ Zane: I need a drink ~~~ Bridgette arrives on cue with an ice cold Aquafina ~~~ Bridgette: Here ya go hon. Zane: Let's get out of here for a while, this place is starting to get to me <Zane and Bridgette exit into the cool night air, with the intent of exploring Kagoshima and forgetting about the Never Ending Promo. Unfortunately as they turn the first corner, the restaurant that Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins ate at is ablaze, as Ecosystem found out they were eating there just a few minutes too late. They approach the Amu Plaza Kagoshima shopping center, only to discover a Fire and a Moose fighting atop the Amuran ferris wheel, with a livid Kayfabe two cars away trying to stop them. As they approach the old docks overlooking the volcano, they see Ellie May and Justin fishing in the aquarium, while Awesome Bill is at the mouth of the volcano offering a sacrifice of a pint of Pine Cone Party Saki. They approach the statue of Saigo Takamori, only to see Danny Taylor and Rabbit Mask slugging it out. As they approach the statue of Okubo Toshimichi, they see Danny Taylor and Ricky Soaring Eagle slugging it out. As they approach the Kagoshima Botanical Garden they see Alex, Alexis, Clio, and Edra slugging it out. Finally, Bridgette turns to Zane.> Bridgette: Sugah, let's head back to the suite. Zane: Yeah, nothing much to see here, is there. Bridgette: Naw. ....the end?....Naaawww..... <back in the backstage area. we get the narrator from Squidbillies narrating the fight....> <one of the Bill's has finally triumphed over the 1982 Denver Broncos. He stands over them breathing hard, bloody and exhausted, takes a long swig of PCPS and yells....> THATS for beating the Falcons in the Superbowl! DIIIIIIIIRTY BIRDS! <we hear someone try to explain that that was in 1999, but logic and Bill go together like PCPS and.......well anything. On another side of the fight Opus and Justin stop their sword fight of epic epicness when it is clear that neither can win. They both bow and lay down their swords. Justin gets an inspired look on his face and pulls out a pack of cards. He grins and his eyes narrow.......? JS: GO. FISH. <Opus' eyes narrow as well, and they sit down cross leg in the middle of the chaotic brawl and play the worlds most deadly serious game of Go Fish........ <Ok, over there.......well that's just a few of the Moose's and a few of the Firewoman's fighting. We have seen that before, they are all beating the hell out of one another. And not far from that, Power and Glory and the Darling Twins are doing all they can to murder one another, pretty standard fare...... <Ok this looks new and interesting, Stank, FF Capslock, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are fighting........wait, through the magic of the Never Ending Promo, it looks like they have assembled a ring, and we have an eight man tag team match. Stank, FF Capslock, Stank & Attitude Adjuster vs. Johnny Adrenaline, Attitude Adjuster, FF Capslock & Johnny Adrenaline. In a steel cage four corner pole match, with the Promo of the Year, Tag Team of the Year, Feud of the Year and Catchphrase of the Year awards hanging there to be used as weapons. Have fun with that!> <I know, let's go over to Ric's Sandwich Shoppe for a bit of refreshment and see.......that Ric Flair is engaging in a chopping argument with Ecosystem......> RF: <CHOP> EAT FRESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO Eco: <CHOP> EAT FLESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO <Rachel Ray walks in, again, why wouldn't she?> RR: <CHOP, CHOP> EAT DELISH FATBOYS! WHOOOOOO <Annnnnnnd as if on cue, why yes, that IS Salmonjunkie> SJ: <CHOP><CHOP><CHOP> EAT FISH FATTIES! WHOOOOOOOO........also be sure to check out my band on tour! <Ok, enough of that silliness, we see Ghosthead walking down the hall, leading a legion of..........what appears to be the undead. Oh goody. Before he can get to the fight and unleash unholy destruction on the OOWF and everyone in it, sending the universe spiraling into a atom crushing singularity, Stan and Mai burst out of the hot tub room, Mai riding on Stan's shoulders, both of them singing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as loudly as they can. Mai has a supersoaker filled with what must be holy water, because as she squirts the undead, they evaporate into a pile of mush, which Drunkey and Drunkette proceed to eat up.> Seriously, this place is too weird for words. <In darkened corner of the brawl, we see the OOWF world heavyweight champion Chris Evans standing at a lecturn, wearing a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches holding his OOWF title on his shoulder. He appears to be going through all the reasons that HE is the greatest OOWF Champion of all time, and was the driving force behind the Brass Knuckle Kings. At the lecturn across from him, Matt Folz stands, wearing a conservative suit, and a Green Bay Packers tie. He has a pair of reading glasses on his nose, and he retorts Chris' reply. In the audience sits a barely conscious Eric O'Mac, and Shawn Johnson, who adds nothing, but continuously hurls racial slurs at the two of them, despite them both being American. Moving along> <The Army of Danny Taylor's has Rabbit Mask cornered. Rabbit snarls and grabs the Danny's one by one and begins dropping them on their heads. The sickening sound of necks breaking can be heard over the maelstrom. It finally comes down to one Rabbit and one Danny and they tear into one another. Rabbit tries to escape using parkour, but Danny shows ridiculously mad skillz and he keeps up with him, chasing him through the arena. I am not following that> <In the sauna, Chad, Bridgette and Zane, along with a bevy of SFJ's sit and relax, far away from the war outside........or so they think. As they relax, Gay For Pay walks in and drops their towels. Zane gets a little defensive since Bridgette is in there and all. The other SFJ's scatter> CM: Ah man, look what you did! PT: I heard all that was from Texas was steers and queers. I hate steers. <not quite sure how to take this, Texpress do what wrestlers do, they begin to fight with GFP. They spill out of the locker room, all four naked as the day they were born. They fight past the multiple Firewoman's, who both stop and get an eye full before Mooses attack them again and that fight continues on.> <Over where it all started, The Kai and LD Williams are standing there. Chuckles has joined them and has one of those old fashioned adding machines. As something gets broken, he calculates the cost and it gets added to the massive roll of paper that has already been calculated> LD: What is that? C: Juh LD: My BILL? C: Juh, Juh LD: No, I think you made a mistake, that is a phone number...... C: Juh juh juh LD: THAT IS REALLY MY BILL? HOLY.........crud The Kai: Let the Kai handle this. Chuckles, can you do something for me? C: Juh Kai: I want you to pick up that adding machine C: Juh <he does> Kai: Now, I want you to turn that sumbitch sideways C: j-juh? Kai: Yes, just like that. Now, I want you to shine it up real nicely! The Kai wants to see his pretty face in that adding machine! Use all the elbow grease ya got! <Chuckles uses all his energy to shine it up, clearly not aware of where this is going> Kai: Now, the Kai wants you to hand that adding machine to me.......... <he does> Kai: So the Kai can stick it STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDYASS!!!!! <We cut to LD Williams, whose eyes go wide in shock, and his jaw drops open> C: JUH.........JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <well, that was disturbing. What's left? Oh yes, there is Comrade Sharkoff and Ricky Soaring Eagle fighting it out. Nothing to see there really, RSE is angry about something, and Sharkoff is equally upset. They stop and sit down at a chessboard. They run through a few moves, then Sharkoff catches RSE cheating! Sharkoff grabs his hand and holds it to the table, then produces a NAIL GUN and NAILS Soaring Eagles hand to the table! OUCH! Soaring Eagle howls in pain and tries to pull his hand away, but to no avail.> <Oh, here comes Firewoman after her promo with Jericho and Moose, who thought THAT was a good idea. Fire stops and admires the Gay For Pay/Texpress fight for a moment, allowing Jericho to catch up with her. He begins arguing with her again, the scene goes black and white: Fire: Play it once, Chris. For old times' sake. Chris: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Fire. Fire: Play it, Chris. Play "Crucify Yourself." Chris: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Fire. I'm a little rusty on it. Fire: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum... [Chris begins playing] Fire: Sing it, Chris. Chris: [singing along with the rest of Fozzy] Unraveling at the seams, sanity waves goodbye Doubting my beliefs, hope and love is a lie And it goes on and on the voices never end and it goes on and on and on You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man And you crucify yourself........ Nathan Explosion: What the hell is that? Toki: Thats sounds like the awfulest sounds evers Skiwsgaar: Thats makes my brain hurts Murderface: Ohhhh god.....I think my dick just retreated into my body Pickles: This is freakin aaaaaaaaaawful Nathan: [rushing up] Chris, I thought I told you never to play-... [Sees Fire.] Nathan:..........something that notmetal ever again? <Dethklok and Fozzy get into a brawl while Fire watches that. What she doesn't see is Moose heading in her direction with HDBIV. Just when it looks like she is going to get attacked, we hear someone yell> SINNERS!!!!! SINNERS!!!!!!! SINNNERS!!!!! REPENT YOUR EVIL WAYS! LET ME SHOW YOU THE WAY! I, HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER, CHOSEN ONE OF GOD, SPIRITUAL LEADER, AND ALL AROUND GOOD GUY TIM TEBOW CAN SHOW YOU THE WAY! JUST SPEND FIVE MINUTES WITH ME AND I WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! <Everyone stops and stares> <Timmy drops to one knee and Tebows, Moose makes a beeline for him and SLAMS him upside the head with Happy Deth Bat. Tebow falls to the floor, blood pouring from his head. Moose brings the bad down repeatedly until Timmy is a twitching, gory pile of mush. Moose spits on him for good measure. Everyone cheers, then goes back to their brawls. Dethklok looks impressed> NE: That was THE most BRUTAL thing EVER! <Dethklok grab Fozzy's instruments and begin to play Laser Cannon Deth Sentence and we fade to....> <Mary Lou 1 running out of the suites with some papers to find....Mary Lou 2 attending to the two Wyatt's who knocked themselves out with their Halliburtons. > Mary Lou 1: I found it! The way out! Mary Lou 2: Out of the promo? Mary Lou 1: There's supposed to be a failsafe button on the Discontinuity Alarm that used to be in the Heroes Guild. It seems that's ended up somewhere in the Destroyitarium. Mary Lou 2: Find Victor, tell him! <Mary Lou 2 looks around and finds Victor> Mary Lou 1: There's a way to end all this. DVD: How: Mary Lou 1: There's a failsafe button on the Discontinuity Alarm in the Destroyitarium. DVD: Oh, THAT'S what that was for. Mary Lou 1: I'm afraid to ask. DVD: Well, we were cleaning up from one of the attacks, and Danny found it and had no clue what it was. Well, at least we know now. Mary Lou 1: Where is it? DVD: Danny gave it to a fan in Nunavit. He got tired of packing it around. Mary Lou 1: Nunavit? Great..... <Mary Lou 1 goes to tell the others about what she discovered as we … > Fade?
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:51:44 GMT -5
Ricky stands outside the arena, holding his bandaged hand.
"So, it would seem I have made some people around here unhappy. Apparently, I'm suposed to care.
I don't
Did I piss off our Gm? Probably. That's why she did what she did last week and kept me away from regaining my intercontinental title. My punishment? being put in title matches I clearly have no desire to be in.
What do I do?
I will not sit here and bitch and moan, yelling about how unfair it is.
Because I don't fucking care that much.
I get to maim. I get to inflict pain. I get to break bones and rip body parts off. And that is what I am here for. I enjoy beating people up. I relish the fihgt, the struggle. I bask in the feeling of a man's breath leaving his body. Winning the intercontinental title gave me the freedom to inflict more pain, And makr my words I WILL win it again. But until then, I will be content beating the living fuck out of anyone in my way. "
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:52:02 GMT -5
FADE in on catering backstage in Kagoshima, Japan. Standing there watching the neverending promo is the Holy Spirit Squad. Both Mai Muyo and Stan Fulton appear to not be a part of it... as if they’re watching from out of time...
MM: “Stan, why aren’t we in there. We should be helping Tim.”
SF: “Tim’s okay. That wasn’t really him anyway. Do you think Moose could get away with turning an NFL quarterback, one who is worth more money than this whole organization not to mention one of the most well known players in the NFL, into a quote-unquote gory pile of mush?”
MM: “Well... no I suppose not.”
Fulton looks over at the pile of mush.
SF: “That was just a statue of Tim Tebow made out of Spam.”
MM: “Ah. Almost lifelike.”
SF: “Mmm-hm.”
MM: “So why aren’t we in this neverending promo now? We were in there for a bit. I think you were baptizing a few people while I was preaching.”
SF: “Because my promo skills are hardly up to the task of continuing it, I thought it was a good idea if we could move around it without getting trapped in it. So when I finished the baptisms, I figured a way out.”
MM: “How did you do that?”
SF: “I knew we needed a subspace force field. But I realized we'd need a pretty sensitive phase discriminator to modulate that kind of field. Then I thought of it! Emergency transporter armbands contain a type-seven phase discriminator. I figured it should be possible to reconfigure their subspace emitters. I did and that isolates us from the effects of their time frame.”
MM: “Well done, Mr. Fulton.”
SF: “Which is why we’re now wearing these black armbands.”
Fulton points the armbands both he and Mai are wearing.
SF: “It also allows us to do this.”
Fulton moves over to the fight between Texpress and Gay For Pay. He starts to move the combatants around until they’re all in one big group hug. He then takes a barrel or three of Pine Cone Party Saki and replaces the water in the hot tub with it.
MM: “That’s... weird, Stan.”
SF: “I know. We’ll see what they do with it. I usually dislike altering the space-time continuum, but it’s so fractured now.”
MM: “Can we return us to normal time?”
SF: “Unless we can create a feedback loop and reverse the polarity of the singularity which caused this, I don’t know that we’ll ever return to normal time again.”
MM: “Well, if nothing else, we can get in some training for our match Wednesday. Number one contenders match against Clio and Edra.”
SF: “And Chloe and Edna. Not to mention Wyatt and Mary Lou. We’re completely outnumbered and out-eviled.”
MM: “But we have God on our side, not to mention a lot more wrestling experience. I had an idea, but I don’t know if you’ll like it.”
SF: “What is it?”
MM: “I could talk to Juni...”
SF: “No, that’s alright, Mai. Juni’s got his own stuff to worry about. Let’s not drag him into this.”
MM: “OK, I just thought he could help you with the Board of Directors too.”
SF: “I appreciate you want to help. But I’m pretty sure that their mysterious consultant won’t show up in Tokyo Sunday night. The Board can then either fire me and get a major lawsuit up their butts or keep me on. Let’s concentrate on our match. We have a chance to finally prove we’re not a comedy tag team; that we’re legitimate.”
MM: “Should we promo?”
SF: “Not now. We’d get caught in the neverending promo continuity and never escape. Let’s head to the gym.”
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:52:47 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? <Chad and the SFJ's walk down the corridor toward the hot tub, only to be met by Awesome Bill's ongoing battle with the 1982 Denver Broncos and Opus and Justins epic sword fight. They enter the Hot Tub room to see Rev Stan baptizing Jamie Lynn Spears, Ron Simmons, and Ellie May by immersion, all while Mai continues to preach and do clap push ups at the side of the hot tub.> Chad: Uh, ladies, we may have a bit of a wait for the tub. ....fade?.... ~~~ Chad and the SFJ's re-enter the dressing room where Chad has just texted the SFJ's to join him. Zane looks up, and sees 2 Chad Madisons and 8 SFJ's ~~~ Zane: This can't be good Chad2: Ladies, it looks like there's twice as much of me to go around tonight, let's hit the Sauna! Hang your suits on the hooks by the door! ~~~ He opens the door to the Sauna room, and drops trou. We get a lot of blurred skin as all 10 remove their bathing suits and head inside ~~~ Zane: I need a drink ~~~ Bridgette arrives on cue with an ice cold Aquafina ~~~ Bridgette: Here ya go hon. Zane: Let's get out of here for a while, this place is starting to get to me <Zane and Bridgette exit into the cool night air, with the intent of exploring Kagoshima and forgetting about the Never Ending Promo. Unfortunately as they turn the first corner, the restaurant that Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins ate at is ablaze, as Ecosystem found out they were eating there just a few minutes too late. They approach the Amu Plaza Kagoshima shopping center, only to discover a Fire and a Moose fighting atop the Amuran ferris wheel, with a livid Kayfabe two cars away trying to stop them. As they approach the old docks overlooking the volcano, they see Ellie May and Justin fishing in the aquarium, while Awesome Bill is at the mouth of the volcano offering a sacrifice of a pint of Pine Cone Party Saki. They approach the statue of Saigo Takamori, only to see Danny Taylor and Rabbit Mask slugging it out. As they approach the statue of Okubo Toshimichi, they see Danny Taylor and Ricky Soaring Eagle slugging it out. As they approach the Kagoshima Botanical Garden they see Alex, Alexis, Clio, and Edra slugging it out. Finally, Bridgette turns to Zane.> Bridgette: Sugah, let's head back to the suite. Zane: Yeah, nothing much to see here, is there. Bridgette: Naw. ....the end?....Naaawww..... <back in the backstage area. we get the narrator from Squidbillies narrating the fight....> <one of the Bill's has finally triumphed over the 1982 Denver Broncos. He stands over them breathing hard, bloody and exhausted, takes a long swig of PCPS and yells....> THATS for beating the Falcons in the Superbowl! DIIIIIIIIRTY BIRDS! <we hear someone try to explain that that was in 1999, but logic and Bill go together like PCPS and.......well anything. On another side of the fight Opus and Justin stop their sword fight of epic epicness when it is clear that neither can win. They both bow and lay down their swords. Justin gets an inspired look on his face and pulls out a pack of cards. He grins and his eyes narrow.......? JS: GO. FISH. <Opus' eyes narrow as well, and they sit down cross leg in the middle of the chaotic brawl and play the worlds most deadly serious game of Go Fish........ <Ok, over there.......well that's just a few of the Moose's and a few of the Firewoman's fighting. We have seen that before, they are all beating the hell out of one another. And not far from that, Power and Glory and the Darling Twins are doing all they can to murder one another, pretty standard fare...... <Ok this looks new and interesting, Stank, FF Capslock, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are fighting........wait, through the magic of the Never Ending Promo, it looks like they have assembled a ring, and we have an eight man tag team match. Stank, FF Capslock, Stank & Attitude Adjuster vs. Johnny Adrenaline, Attitude Adjuster, FF Capslock & Johnny Adrenaline. In a steel cage four corner pole match, with the Promo of the Year, Tag Team of the Year, Feud of the Year and Catchphrase of the Year awards hanging there to be used as weapons. Have fun with that!> <I know, let's go over to Ric's Sandwich Shoppe for a bit of refreshment and see.......that Ric Flair is engaging in a chopping argument with Ecosystem......> RF: <CHOP> EAT FRESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO Eco: <CHOP> EAT FLESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO <Rachel Ray walks in, again, why wouldn't she?> RR: <CHOP, CHOP> EAT DELISH FATBOYS! WHOOOOOO <Annnnnnnd as if on cue, why yes, that IS Salmonjunkie> SJ: <CHOP><CHOP><CHOP> EAT FISH FATTIES! WHOOOOOOOO........also be sure to check out my band on tour! <Ok, enough of that silliness, we see Ghosthead walking down the hall, leading a legion of..........what appears to be the undead. Oh goody. Before he can get to the fight and unleash unholy destruction on the OOWF and everyone in it, sending the universe spiraling into a atom crushing singularity, Stan and Mai burst out of the hot tub room, Mai riding on Stan's shoulders, both of them singing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as loudly as they can. Mai has a supersoaker filled with what must be holy water, because as she squirts the undead, they evaporate into a pile of mush, which Drunkey and Drunkette proceed to eat up.> Seriously, this place is too weird for words. <In darkened corner of the brawl, we see the OOWF world heavyweight champion Chris Evans standing at a lecturn, wearing a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches holding his OOWF title on his shoulder. He appears to be going through all the reasons that HE is the greatest OOWF Champion of all time, and was the driving force behind the Brass Knuckle Kings. At the lecturn across from him, Matt Folz stands, wearing a conservative suit, and a Green Bay Packers tie. He has a pair of reading glasses on his nose, and he retorts Chris' reply. In the audience sits a barely conscious Eric O'Mac, and Shawn Johnson, who adds nothing, but continuously hurls racial slurs at the two of them, despite them both being American. Moving along> <The Army of Danny Taylor's has Rabbit Mask cornered. Rabbit snarls and grabs the Danny's one by one and begins dropping them on their heads. The sickening sound of necks breaking can be heard over the maelstrom. It finally comes down to one Rabbit and one Danny and they tear into one another. Rabbit tries to escape using parkour, but Danny shows ridiculously mad skillz and he keeps up with him, chasing him through the arena. I am not following that> <In the sauna, Chad, Bridgette and Zane, along with a bevy of SFJ's sit and relax, far away from the war outside........or so they think. As they relax, Gay For Pay walks in and drops their towels. Zane gets a little defensive since Bridgette is in there and all. The other SFJ's scatter> CM: Ah man, look what you did! PT: I heard all that was from Texas was steers and queers. I hate steers. <not quite sure how to take this, Texpress do what wrestlers do, they begin to fight with GFP. They spill out of the locker room, all four naked as the day they were born. They fight past the multiple Firewoman's, who both stop and get an eye full before Mooses attack them again and that fight continues on.> <Over where it all started, The Kai and LD Williams are standing there. Chuckles has joined them and has one of those old fashioned adding machines. As something gets broken, he calculates the cost and it gets added to the massive roll of paper that has already been calculated> LD: What is that? C: Juh LD: My BILL? C: Juh, Juh LD: No, I think you made a mistake, that is a phone number...... C: Juh juh juh LD: THAT IS REALLY MY BILL? HOLY.........crud The Kai: Let the Kai handle this. Chuckles, can you do something for me? C: Juh Kai: I want you to pick up that adding machine C: Juh <he does> Kai: Now, I want you to turn that sumbitch sideways C: j-juh? Kai: Yes, just like that. Now, I want you to shine it up real nicely! The Kai wants to see his pretty face in that adding machine! Use all the elbow grease ya got! <Chuckles uses all his energy to shine it up, clearly not aware of where this is going> Kai: Now, the Kai wants you to hand that adding machine to me.......... <he does> Kai: So the Kai can stick it STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDYASS!!!!! <We cut to LD Williams, whose eyes go wide in shock, and his jaw drops open> C: JUH.........JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <well, that was disturbing. What's left? Oh yes, there is Comrade Sharkoff and Ricky Soaring Eagle fighting it out. Nothing to see there really, RSE is angry about something, and Sharkoff is equally upset. They stop and sit down at a chessboard. They run through a few moves, then Sharkoff catches RSE cheating! Sharkoff grabs his hand and holds it to the table, then produces a NAIL GUN and NAILS Soaring Eagles hand to the table! OUCH! Soaring Eagle howls in pain and tries to pull his hand away, but to no avail.> <Oh, here comes Firewoman after her promo with Jericho and Moose, who thought THAT was a good idea. Fire stops and admires the Gay For Pay/Texpress fight for a moment, allowing Jericho to catch up with her. He begins arguing with her again, the scene goes black and white: Fire: Play it once, Chris. For old times' sake. Chris: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Fire. Fire: Play it, Chris. Play "Crucify Yourself." Chris: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Fire. I'm a little rusty on it. Fire: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum... [Chris begins playing] Fire: Sing it, Chris. Chris: [singing along with the rest of Fozzy] Unraveling at the seams, sanity waves goodbye Doubting my beliefs, hope and love is a lie And it goes on and on the voices never end and it goes on and on and on You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man And you crucify yourself........ Nathan Explosion: What the hell is that? Toki: Thats sounds like the awfulest sounds evers Skiwsgaar: Thats makes my brain hurts Murderface: Ohhhh god.....I think my dick just retreated into my body Pickles: This is freakin aaaaaaaaaawful Nathan: [rushing up] Chris, I thought I told you never to play-... [Sees Fire.] Nathan:..........something that notmetal ever again? <Dethklok and Fozzy get into a brawl while Fire watches that. What she doesn't see is Moose heading in her direction with HDBIV. Just when it looks like she is going to get attacked, we hear someone yell> SINNERS!!!!! SINNERS!!!!!!! SINNNERS!!!!! REPENT YOUR EVIL WAYS! LET ME SHOW YOU THE WAY! I, HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER, CHOSEN ONE OF GOD, SPIRITUAL LEADER, AND ALL AROUND GOOD GUY TIM TEBOW CAN SHOW YOU THE WAY! JUST SPEND FIVE MINUTES WITH ME AND I WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! <Everyone stops and stares> <Timmy drops to one knee and Tebows, Moose makes a beeline for him and SLAMS him upside the head with Happy Deth Bat. Tebow falls to the floor, blood pouring from his head. Moose brings the bad down repeatedly until Timmy is a twitching, gory pile of mush. Moose spits on him for good measure. Everyone cheers, then goes back to their brawls. Dethklok looks impressed> NE: That was THE most BRUTAL thing EVER! <Dethklok grab Fozzy's instruments and begin to play Laser Cannon Deth Sentence and we fade to....> <Mary Lou 1 running out of the suites with some papers to find....Mary Lou 2 attending to the two Wyatt's who knocked themselves out with their Halliburtons. > Mary Lou 1: I found it! The way out! Mary Lou 2: Out of the promo? Mary Lou 1: There's supposed to be a failsafe button on the Discontinuity Alarm that used to be in the Heroes Guild. It seems that's ended up somewhere in the Destroyitarium. Mary Lou 2: Find Victor, tell him! <Mary Lou 2 looks around and finds Victor> Mary Lou 1: There's a way to end all this. DVD: How: Mary Lou 1: There's a failsafe button on the Discontinuity Alarm in the Destroyitarium. DVD: Oh, THAT'S what that was for. Mary Lou 1: I'm afraid to ask. DVD: Well, we were cleaning up from one of the attacks, and Danny found it and had no clue what it was. Well, at least we know now. Mary Lou 1: Where is it? DVD: Danny gave it to a fan in Nunavit. He got tired of packing it around. Mary Lou 1: Nunavit? Great..... <Mary Lou 1 goes to tell the others about what she discovered as we … > Fade? Fade back in and we catch Stank in the corner setting Johnny Adrenaline up for a CRADLE TO THE GRAVE! That move is hit simultaneously with the other Stank holding FF Capslock on his shoulders and delivering a thunderous STANK-U! Attitude Adjuster double clotheslines the other Johnny Adrenaline and the other AA over the top rope! Stank, FFC, Stank and Attitude Adjuster (not to be confused with the AA that is lying on the floor next to Johnny- not to be confused with the Johnny lying prone on the mat after being dropped by the CTG.) All four men left standing climb the corner turnbuckles and retrieve their prizes from the poles!
Your WINNERS and NEW Promo of the Year, Tag Team of the Year, Feud of the Year and Catchphrase of the Year champions from years past... Stank, FF Capslock, Stank and Attitude Adjuster - The Never Ending Promo hit squad!Stank - We have a team name? FFC - Makes about as much sense as everything else in this promo. Stank - What the fuck happened to our audience? *Stank, Stank, AA, and FFC look out into the crowd and see that they all have been replaced by statues of weeping angles.* AA - Oh shit. FFC - What? AA - You don't recognize those? Stank - No. Stank - What are they Alan? AA - They're creatures who feed off the potential time energy of others. FFC - The what now? AA - Normally they'd be looking for the Tardis, but I suspect they're hungry for the time energy from this never ending promo. Stank - Wait... the fucking Tardis from Dr Who? FFC - Doctor what? Stank - No who. FFC - Huh? Stank - Who Gotdammit! Stank - All of you just shutup! Alan C'mon seriously? Now we got Doctor Who characters to -AAAAAHHH! FFC - The Fuck? Stank - Those statues were a LOT further away a second ago! AA - Just do as I say. Don't look away from them. As long as we are looking at them they stay as statues. The moment we look away... *FF Capslock (not to be confused with the FFC standing in the ring.) finds himself suddenly in the clutches of a weeping angel statue.) Stank - ... that shit happens. FFC - That statue KILLED the other me! Stank - I don't remember this episode of Doctor Who. AA - It's from the third season of the Doctor Who reboot. Stank - They rebooted Doctor Who? FFC - Doctor what now? Stank - Don't start that shit again. AA - You haven't watched the reboot? It's awesome. The episode with these creatures in it is one of the best ever. I defy anyone who has not seen Doctor Who to watch the episode titled "Blink" and then afterwards not become a fan. Stank - Nerd. FFC - Dufus. Stank - Hey you two shut up. I like Doctor - AHHHHH! They're FUCKING CLOSER! AA - And THEY GOT JOHHNY! *Indeed one of the weeping angles has grabbed hold of the Johnny Adrenaline that AA clotheslined out of the ring. The other AA runs up the ramp and out of the arena screaming.* JA - DON'T LOOK AWAY! DON'T LOOK AWAY! FFC - Shut the fuck up Johnny! JA - Oh REAL CUTE there Capslock! MUST you ALWAYS hit the catchphrase? *While FFC and JA are arguing the others run away while the weeping angels close in. FFC inside the ring suddenly finds himself caught at the height of getting powerbombed, no doubt had JA not focused his gaze on the angel, FFC would have been driven through the mat. As it is JA finds himself locked in a bearhug by the angel holding him. FFC climbs down from his position careful not to take his eyes off the angel who held him up.* JA - A little help? FFC - I hate Doctor What. JA - It's WHO damn it! Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:54:29 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> **L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The sun, the sand, the surf. And the best beaches in the world are in the great Hawai’ian nation, brother. Now, a few years back the Willster was hangin ‘n’bangin on the sands of Waikiki when I noticed that the surf was speaking to me. Every time a wave crashed, it said The Kai. Let me tell ya, I got chills brother. And I knew - I knew this day would come. Wednesday night. Kagoshima, Japan. The Willster, L.D. Williams will team up with the Great One. The-” K: “THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!” **The Kai steps into the frame.** K: “Chris Evans! Matt Folz! You two Jabronies better get ready - NO! Forget that! You can never be ready for the greatness of The Kai and L.D. Williams! Wednesday night we’re gonna drag you to one corner of the arena and drop-kick your-” LDW: “butts” **The Kai gives Williams a Look before continuing.** K: “-clear across to the other side. Then, we’re gonna go row to row to row to row, until each and every person in tha building gets an up close and personal look at us kicking your ROOTY-POO CANDY-” LDW: “BACKSIDES!” **The Kai turns to Williams, lowers his glasses, and raises his eyebrow. Williams endures the Look for a few seconds and then shrugs.** LDW: “It’s a family show?” **The Kai turns back to the camera, eyebrow still raised.** K: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!” LDW: “Brother.” <fade> <LD Williams and the Kai are standing there watching themselves promo> K: Brah.......I have seen some messed up stuff, but this? Have we been hitting Bill's party likker? LD: <shaking his head> No.......this happens now and then, something about a rift in the wrestling space-time continuum or something K: When will it end? LD: Who knows? <Just then, we see Firewoman walking back from catering carrying a Duncan Hills caramel mocha. Moose walks up to her and we have a momentary staredown. Then Moose smacks the coffee out of her hands, sending it to the floor. Fire stares down at the spilled coffee in shock, and then the two Quinns TEAR into one another hammering one another with vicious punches and kicks> LD: This is going to take awhile <As the fight gets roaring, Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins enter. Clio begins to head right for the battle but Edra holds her back.> Wyatt: Easy, Clio. You know we have to stay out of it. Mary Lou: First we bail out of dinner because Mai, Stan, and Juni are eating there, now we walk into this! Edra: Stay out of it, sis. Clio: I know, but Fire...she's totally hot. Wyatt: <Turning to LD> This been going on long? LD: Longer than you'll ever believe. <LD explains the Never Ending promo to Wyatt and the family.> <Firewoman is walking into the area with Alex and Alexis, drinking her caramel mocha.> FW: What's going....why can I see myself and Moose fighting. AD: Never ending promo. FW: Aw, man...I've been pretty successful staying out of these. LD: Yeah, but you're missing a golden opportunity. FW: To do what? LD: You can double team Moose! FW: Awesome! <Fire hands Alex her coffee and rushes in. The other Firewoman is momentarily confused, but then decides it must be some sort of spiritual out of body experience, and the two work Moose over.> AD: Why did you have to tell her that? LD: Because! Look how happy she...er, they are! <Alex shakes his head, Alexis laughs, and the two Fires punch away> Clio: Dad, we have to do something! Wyatt: Moose said stay out of it. Edra: But it's two on one. <Just then, Moose walks in smoking a cigar with HDB MkIV over his shoulder.> Moose: Aw, crap, not again. Clio: Need some help? Moose: Never mind, firebug, I've got this. <Moose wades into the fray with the other Moose and the Fire...women?> Clio: Firebug? Edra: He must have seen your accident with the flash paper. Clio: Well, this is awkward... <Before Moose gets to the fight, he sees Stank walking toward the promo, Stank stops suddenly when he sees he and FF Capslock sitting at a table talking> S: What the...... MHJ: Never ending promo. I saw this earlier, you are about to get hit with a chair by a masked guy, you should go stop it S: I should go stop myself from getting hit? MHJ: Yes <Stank storms off> S: LOCK! I SAW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO PULL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T PULLED IT YET........sort of <Clio runs up to Moose and grabs his arm> Clio: Fire is double teaming you! Hurry up! MHJ: What? <Moose looks over and sees Fire holding Moose while Fire grabs a chair and lines up a shot to the head> MHJ: OH HELL NO! <Moose charges off and SPEARS the Fire with the chair. The other Moose frees himself and the four Quinns brawl around backstage while Alex, Alexis, Kai, LD, Clio, Edra and Wyatt stand and watch> Alex and Lexie look at who they're standing next to and smile at one another. Wyatt is the first to notice, quickly followed by LD and The Kai who quickly step out of the way. Alex and Lexie nod almost as if they're counting...one, two, three. Alex tosses Fire's coffee into Clio's face while Lexie tosses her own into Edra's. And the brawl quickly gets started. From far off-screen, AA enters with his own coffee and sees two Stanks dealing with FFC and a masked guy. He's about to toss his coffee when LD stops him. LD: Too late, Alex and Lexie just did the coffee feud bit. AA: But magenta is like a song in my head. Call Me, Maybe? <Drawn to the sound like a moth to flames, Banned From Everywhere shows up and catches AA's comments> ABFD: Naw son, just........naw EMFE: I know, this is just.......bizarre ABFD: What? Not that mess, I mean what that there Altitude Adjustment said. Magenta is like a song in my head. That mess right chere is for LOW GRADE PCPS! This stuff is QUALITY! It is a good vintage! EMFE: You made it a week ago ABFD: And thus the aging process has finishitized <Justin walks back counting his money> EFME: Where did you get that? JS: I like having more than one Boss around <Bill takes a big ol swig of his PCPS, then does a double take> ABFD: Justin, how many of them ol Quinns is there in the OOWF? JS: Two ABFD: HOT DAMN! This sumbitchin stuff is GOODERNHELL! I see four of them ol Quinns fussin and feudin over there! <Attitude Adjuster walks up to Awesome Bill> AA: Chartreuse sounds like baby oil ABFD: What did you say? JS: Bill, I am sure he didn't mean it....... AA: Uh uh, he called my PCPS low grade and such! IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE MR. ANDERSON! ............. ............. <Sting drops the mic from the rafters and Justin catches it> ............ ............ JS: ANDERSON! With that Bill and AA begin fighting. Justin and Ellie May pull them apart, and Justin has a look of pure glee on his face. Bill looks confused. Bill: Now I know I've only drank two bottles of Pine Cone Party Likker today, so I shouldn't be getting the doubles yet. What in tarnashion is going on. Justin: It's a neverending promo, I missed the last one, but not this time. Bill: Never ending promo? What does that mean? Justin: It means anything goes. (Justin grabs Bill's arm) Go get them Bill. Bill: Get who son? Justin: (his eyes disturbingly wide) All of them Bill, all of them. Some time passes as the various brawls continue, suddenly everyone stops as a bugle call is heard in the distance. All eyes turn to the top of the hill (where did the hill come from, your mom, that's where). There we see Justin and Bill sitting on Drunkey and Drunkette wearing confederate uniforms. Bill is blowing on the bugle, and Justin is holding a foam saber. He points down below and yells Charge. The two start to charge, and a loud rumble is heard behind them as they are quickly followed by Humphrey, Opus, Shotglass, Spiross,the cat who's name I can't remember, Damballah-wedo, Ayida-wedo, Chuckles, Beast, Jamie Lynn Spears, Dr. Mario, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Brick, ~Ladder~, the 1982 Denver Broncos, a monkey with three butts, Optimus Prime, and a very exasperated looking Ellie May. At the bottom of the hill, Kai looks over to LD. Kai: I'm blaming all of this on you. <Meanwhile, Fire and Fire and Moose and Moose have apparently gotten bored with beating each other up. Fire and Fire walk up to Alex and LD and both Fires reach for their coffee.> FW1: What happened to my coffee? AD: Well, uh-- FW2: It's not your coffee, it's my coffee! AD: We, uh... FW1: It is not, it's mine. FW2: Back off. FW1: YOU back off! <Fire and Fire begin to shove each other and then start throwing punches.> LD: Wow...Fire really gets protective of her coffee. I had forgotten than. AD: Fire fighting with herself....Dr. Freedman will have a field day with this. <Meanwhile Clio and Edra creep up behind Alexis and Alex and each dump a cold bottle of Deja Blue down their backs. The fight is on again. > Wyatt: How long can this keep going. Mary Lou: With luck, long enough...let's go. <Mary Lou grabs Wyatt by the hand and leads him toward their suite....> <fade back in> <Moose 2 tosses Fire 1 a chair, and she raises it up and is about to hit Fire 2 with it when she stops and realizes what is going on. The Fire's turn and once again go after the Mooses, and soon they are all bloody Awesome Bill has decided to fight the entire 1982 Denver Broncos team, which, considering they went 2-7 is not such a bad idea. Bill gets the better of the exchange and taunts them with the Dirty Bird in another part of the fight, Eco wanders into the fray and Voltage shows up, and why wouldn't he? They grab a large plate glass window and set it up and are about to Defenestrate Opus, when Justin Sane.....now wearing a three musketeers outfit......crashes through the window screaming DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK We cut to Opus, who is now also dressed in a three musketeers outfit, his eyes go wide as we hear an air horn, a sheep baa, a hot rod engine rev, and finally an air raid siren. When the camera cuts back to Justin, he is standing with his outfit perfectly neat, while Eco and Voltage lie in pools of blood Opus' eyes narrow and he strikes the sword fighting stance and yells "EN GUARD" Justin pulls his sword and the two of them begin an epic sword fight of epic epicness About this time GM Selena walks into the hallway, her eyes go wide and she is about to say something then just throws her hands into the air, turns around and walks away> K: You know this is coming out of your check, right? LD: Dammit <Cut back to Mary Lou dragging Wyatt back to the suite> Wyatt: Wait, we can't leave the twins out there alone. Mary Lou: Are you kidding? Wyatt: No, who's going to have their backs? Mary Lou: Look! <Mary Lou points to the entrance, where we see Wyatt, Mary Lou and the Twins enter the arena after dinner. Clio sees Wyatt and Mary Lou and does a double take, but sees the Fires attacking the Mooses (Meeses?) and starts to take off into the fray. She then sees herself and Edra fighting Alex and Alexis and changes course. Edra joins the fray, and the two Wyatts and Mary Lou start heading for the suite> Mary Lou #1: About time. Wyatt #1: No time to waste. Wyatt #2: To the Halliburtons... <The Mary Lous roll their eyes> Mary Lou #2: Men! Mary Lou #1: Tell me about it... As all this chaos is going on, Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro stand by watching. Victor just seems amused by it all, but Danny appears to be studying it all intently. Out of the corner, we see Rabbit Mask walking by smugly, proud of his recent berating of the Japanese fans. Danny sees him, and without warning, bum rushes him instigating a brawl. At this point, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters the scene, and before we can see wether he is going after Danny or Rabbit, a second Danny enters the scene and bum rushes Ricky. The four individuals representing three men engange in a strange brawl, as Ghosthead enters from a side hallway. He seems ammused by the whole situation, until he is bumrushed by a third Danny that turns this into a mini pier six brawl amongst the larger one. Victor is understandably confused by the whole situation. DVD: When I told him we needed more allies this is not what I had in mind. At this point LD and Kai come over and stand next to Vic. DVD: (looking at LD) I'm blaming you for this. Kai: Me too Brah, me too. Evans: What the hell is with this? Feels like that movie Groundhog Day, except much better since I'm in it. Matt Folz comes out of nowhere with a cup of coffee, which he spills on Evans. E: Oh thats it, I'm kicking your ass worse than the Giants beat the Packers. Folz: Bring it on, Cubby. *Evans and Folz start beating the hell out of each other* While this is all going on, Dethklok is shown nearby watching it all unfold. Nathan: Dude, this is totally metal. Hey, dudes, am i drunk, or are there two of the same woman beating the shit outta each other? Pickles: No dude, you're totally wasted, but there are two chicks over there. N: Hey, I uh..think I know that chick. Yeah, oh dude, that chick is totally metal! P: What's the difference? I mean, we can get anyone we want. And she looks like she's with that douchcebag over there. N: No dude, you don't understand. A few years back, she was in a match against this real huge guy, and he slammed her head into the fucking concrete. Blood and bone fragments everywhere, it was, like, the most brutal thing I've ever seen. And a fefw weeks later, she came back from it. I mean, it's like death came for her, and then she looked Death in the eye and told him to go fuck itself. Metal. P: So is that the reason why you're not wearing a shirt right now? N: Huh? Oh yeah, that. Back then, she told me that guys that don't wear shirts are totally metal. Murderface: Ah, that is so full of piss. I mean, if thats the case, then why didn't she tell me that? Skwisgaar: Huh, thats cause your bodys is totally dildos, just like Toki's guitars playings. Toki: Aw, screws yous, Skwisgaar, mine guitars playings is the coolest. The Firewomen look towards Nathan and Toki. Firewomen: HAWT! The Mooses take this time to jump them from behind and beat them down. (While the two Edras are taking their turn at Alex and Alexis, the two Clios glance at the Firewomen, then casually creep over and tap them on the shoulder.) Mooses: Stay out of this. It's our fight. Clios: No fighting intended. (The Clios grab the Firewomen and engage them in dueling liplocks. Everyone stops fighting -- yes, even Opus and Justin -- watching the spectacle) Dethklok in unison: Totally hot! (The Clios finally breaks the liplocks) Clios: Thank you. Firewomen: You're welcome. (The Firewomen then proceed to kick the Clios in the stomach and faceplant them into the floor, busting open the wound from the chain Wednesday night. The Firewomen then turn back to the Mooses and everyone starts fighting again. The Clios slowly get to their feet...) Clio #1: That totally hurt. Clio #2: I know, but it was worth it. Clio #1: Totally! (Meanwhile The Wyatts, Halliburtons in hand, come running onto the scene, only to slip and fall face first into the Halliburtons as a result of Drunkey and Drunkette droppings and knock themselves out. The Mary Lous and Clios come to their aid...as the battle rages on and we....) FADE ~~~ Chad is sitting in his dressing room watching the Neverending Promos and laughing out loud ~~~ Chad: Zane, this s awesome! We should go join in. Zane: Absolutely not. Chad: Why not? Zane: I.. I don't do comedy very well Chad: Suit yourself. I'm hitting the hot tub. ~~~ Chad pulls out his cell phone and does some texting. Moments later, 4 bikini-clad SFJ's walk in the dressing room ~~~ Chad: Ladies, shall we? <Chad and the SFJ's walk down the corridor toward the hot tub, only to be met by Awesome Bill's ongoing battle with the 1982 Denver Broncos and Opus and Justins epic sword fight. They enter the Hot Tub room to see Rev Stan baptizing Jamie Lynn Spears, Ron Simmons, and Ellie May by immersion, all while Mai continues to preach and do clap push ups at the side of the hot tub.> Chad: Uh, ladies, we may have a bit of a wait for the tub. ....fade?.... ~~~ Chad and the SFJ's re-enter the dressing room where Chad has just texted the SFJ's to join him. Zane looks up, and sees 2 Chad Madisons and 8 SFJ's ~~~ Zane: This can't be good Chad2: Ladies, it looks like there's twice as much of me to go around tonight, let's hit the Sauna! Hang your suits on the hooks by the door! ~~~ He opens the door to the Sauna room, and drops trou. We get a lot of blurred skin as all 10 remove their bathing suits and head inside ~~~ Zane: I need a drink ~~~ Bridgette arrives on cue with an ice cold Aquafina ~~~ Bridgette: Here ya go hon. Zane: Let's get out of here for a while, this place is starting to get to me <Zane and Bridgette exit into the cool night air, with the intent of exploring Kagoshima and forgetting about the Never Ending Promo. Unfortunately as they turn the first corner, the restaurant that Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins ate at is ablaze, as Ecosystem found out they were eating there just a few minutes too late. They approach the Amu Plaza Kagoshima shopping center, only to discover a Fire and a Moose fighting atop the Amuran ferris wheel, with a livid Kayfabe two cars away trying to stop them. As they approach the old docks overlooking the volcano, they see Ellie May and Justin fishing in the aquarium, while Awesome Bill is at the mouth of the volcano offering a sacrifice of a pint of Pine Cone Party Saki. They approach the statue of Saigo Takamori, only to see Danny Taylor and Rabbit Mask slugging it out. As they approach the statue of Okubo Toshimichi, they see Danny Taylor and Ricky Soaring Eagle slugging it out. As they approach the Kagoshima Botanical Garden they see Alex, Alexis, Clio, and Edra slugging it out. Finally, Bridgette turns to Zane.> Bridgette: Sugah, let's head back to the suite. Zane: Yeah, nothing much to see here, is there. Bridgette: Naw. ....the end?....Naaawww..... <back in the backstage area. we get the narrator from Squidbillies narrating the fight....> <one of the Bill's has finally triumphed over the 1982 Denver Broncos. He stands over them breathing hard, bloody and exhausted, takes a long swig of PCPS and yells....> THATS for beating the Falcons in the Superbowl! DIIIIIIIIRTY BIRDS! <we hear someone try to explain that that was in 1999, but logic and Bill go together like PCPS and.......well anything. On another side of the fight Opus and Justin stop their sword fight of epic epicness when it is clear that neither can win. They both bow and lay down their swords. Justin gets an inspired look on his face and pulls out a pack of cards. He grins and his eyes narrow.......? JS: GO. FISH. <Opus' eyes narrow as well, and they sit down cross leg in the middle of the chaotic brawl and play the worlds most deadly serious game of Go Fish........ <Ok, over there.......well that's just a few of the Moose's and a few of the Firewoman's fighting. We have seen that before, they are all beating the hell out of one another. And not far from that, Power and Glory and the Darling Twins are doing all they can to murder one another, pretty standard fare...... <Ok this looks new and interesting, Stank, FF Capslock, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are fighting........wait, through the magic of the Never Ending Promo, it looks like they have assembled a ring, and we have an eight man tag team match. Stank, FF Capslock, Stank & Attitude Adjuster vs. Johnny Adrenaline, Attitude Adjuster, FF Capslock & Johnny Adrenaline. In a steel cage four corner pole match, with the Promo of the Year, Tag Team of the Year, Feud of the Year and Catchphrase of the Year awards hanging there to be used as weapons. Have fun with that!> <I know, let's go over to Ric's Sandwich Shoppe for a bit of refreshment and see.......that Ric Flair is engaging in a chopping argument with Ecosystem......> RF: <CHOP> EAT FRESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO Eco: <CHOP> EAT FLESH FATBOY! WHOOOOOOO <Rachel Ray walks in, again, why wouldn't she?> RR: <CHOP, CHOP> EAT DELISH FATBOYS! WHOOOOOO <Annnnnnnd as if on cue, why yes, that IS Salmonjunkie> SJ: <CHOP><CHOP><CHOP> EAT FISH FATTIES! WHOOOOOOOO........also be sure to check out my band on tour! <Ok, enough of that silliness, we see Ghosthead walking down the hall, leading a legion of..........what appears to be the undead. Oh goody. Before he can get to the fight and unleash unholy destruction on the OOWF and everyone in it, sending the universe spiraling into a atom crushing singularity, Stan and Mai burst out of the hot tub room, Mai riding on Stan's shoulders, both of them singing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as loudly as they can. Mai has a supersoaker filled with what must be holy water, because as she squirts the undead, they evaporate into a pile of mush, which Drunkey and Drunkette proceed to eat up.> Seriously, this place is too weird for words. <In darkened corner of the brawl, we see the OOWF world heavyweight champion Chris Evans standing at a lecturn, wearing a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches holding his OOWF title on his shoulder. He appears to be going through all the reasons that HE is the greatest OOWF Champion of all time, and was the driving force behind the Brass Knuckle Kings. At the lecturn across from him, Matt Folz stands, wearing a conservative suit, and a Green Bay Packers tie. He has a pair of reading glasses on his nose, and he retorts Chris' reply. In the audience sits a barely conscious Eric O'Mac, and Shawn Johnson, who adds nothing, but continuously hurls racial slurs at the two of them, despite them both being American. Moving along> <The Army of Danny Taylor's has Rabbit Mask cornered. Rabbit snarls and grabs the Danny's one by one and begins dropping them on their heads. The sickening sound of necks breaking can be heard over the maelstrom. It finally comes down to one Rabbit and one Danny and they tear into one another. Rabbit tries to escape using parkour, but Danny shows ridiculously mad skillz and he keeps up with him, chasing him through the arena. I am not following that> <In the sauna, Chad, Bridgette and Zane, along with a bevy of SFJ's sit and relax, far away from the war outside........or so they think. As they relax, Gay For Pay walks in and drops their towels. Zane gets a little defensive since Bridgette is in there and all. The other SFJ's scatter> CM: Ah man, look what you did! PT: I heard all that was from Texas was steers and queers. I hate steers. <not quite sure how to take this, Texpress do what wrestlers do, they begin to fight with GFP. They spill out of the locker room, all four naked as the day they were born. They fight past the multiple Firewoman's, who both stop and get an eye full before Mooses attack them again and that fight continues on.> <Over where it all started, The Kai and LD Williams are standing there. Chuckles has joined them and has one of those old fashioned adding machines. As something gets broken, he calculates the cost and it gets added to the massive roll of paper that has already been calculated> LD: What is that? C: Juh LD: My BILL? C: Juh, Juh LD: No, I think you made a mistake, that is a phone number...... C: Juh juh juh LD: THAT IS REALLY MY BILL? HOLY.........crud The Kai: Let the Kai handle this. Chuckles, can you do something for me? C: Juh Kai: I want you to pick up that adding machine C: Juh <he does> Kai: Now, I want you to turn that sumbitch sideways C: j-juh? Kai: Yes, just like that. Now, I want you to shine it up real nicely! The Kai wants to see his pretty face in that adding machine! Use all the elbow grease ya got! <Chuckles uses all his energy to shine it up, clearly not aware of where this is going> Kai: Now, the Kai wants you to hand that adding machine to me.......... <he does> Kai: So the Kai can stick it STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDYASS!!!!! <We cut to LD Williams, whose eyes go wide in shock, and his jaw drops open> C: JUH.........JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <well, that was disturbing. What's left? Oh yes, there is Comrade Sharkoff and Ricky Soaring Eagle fighting it out. Nothing to see there really, RSE is angry about something, and Sharkoff is equally upset. They stop and sit down at a chessboard. They run through a few moves, then Sharkoff catches RSE cheating! Sharkoff grabs his hand and holds it to the table, then produces a NAIL GUN and NAILS Soaring Eagles hand to the table! OUCH! Soaring Eagle howls in pain and tries to pull his hand away, but to no avail.> <Oh, here comes Firewoman after her promo with Jericho and Moose, who thought THAT was a good idea. Fire stops and admires the Gay For Pay/Texpress fight for a moment, allowing Jericho to catch up with her. He begins arguing with her again, the scene goes black and white: Fire: Play it once, Chris. For old times' sake. Chris: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Fire. Fire: Play it, Chris. Play "Crucify Yourself." Chris: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Fire. I'm a little rusty on it. Fire: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum... [Chris begins playing] Fire: Sing it, Chris. Chris: [singing along with the rest of Fozzy] Unraveling at the seams, sanity waves goodbye Doubting my beliefs, hope and love is a lie And it goes on and on the voices never end and it goes on and on and on You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man You walk like a dead man and you talk like a dead man And you crucify yourself........ Nathan Explosion: What the hell is that? Toki: Thats sounds like the awfulest sounds evers Skiwsgaar: Thats makes my brain hurts Murderface: Ohhhh god.....I think my dick just retreated into my body Pickles: This is freakin aaaaaaaaaawful Nathan: [rushing up] Chris, I thought I told you never to play-... [Sees Fire.] Nathan:..........something that notmetal ever again? <Dethklok and Fozzy get into a brawl while Fire watches that. What she doesn't see is Moose heading in her direction with HDBIV. Just when it looks like she is going to get attacked, we hear someone yell> SINNERS!!!!! SINNERS!!!!!!! SINNNERS!!!!! REPENT YOUR EVIL WAYS! LET ME SHOW YOU THE WAY! I, HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER, CHOSEN ONE OF GOD, SPIRITUAL LEADER, AND ALL AROUND GOOD GUY TIM TEBOW CAN SHOW YOU THE WAY! JUST SPEND FIVE MINUTES WITH ME AND I WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! <Everyone stops and stares> <Timmy drops to one knee and Tebows, Moose makes a beeline for him and SLAMS him upside the head with Happy Deth Bat. Tebow falls to the floor, blood pouring from his head. Moose brings the bad down repeatedly until Timmy is a twitching, gory pile of mush. Moose spits on him for good measure. Everyone cheers, then goes back to their brawls. Dethklok looks impressed> NE: That was THE most BRUTAL thing EVER! <Dethklok grab Fozzy's instruments and begin to play Laser Cannon Deth Sentence and we fade to....> <Mary Lou 1 running out of the suites with some papers to find....Mary Lou 2 attending to the two Wyatt's who knocked themselves out with their Halliburtons. > Mary Lou 1: I found it! The way out! Mary Lou 2: Out of the promo? Mary Lou 1: There's supposed to be a failsafe button on the Discontinuity Alarm that used to be in the Heroes Guild. It seems that's ended up somewhere in the Destroyitarium. Mary Lou 2: Find Victor, tell him! <Mary Lou 2 looks around and finds Victor> Mary Lou 1: There's a way to end all this. DVD: How: Mary Lou 1: There's a failsafe button on the Discontinuity Alarm in the Destroyitarium. DVD: Oh, THAT'S what that was for. Mary Lou 1: I'm afraid to ask. DVD: Well, we were cleaning up from one of the attacks, and Danny found it and had no clue what it was. Well, at least we know now. Mary Lou 1: Where is it? DVD: Danny gave it to a fan in Nunavut. He got tired of packing it around. Mary Lou 1: Nunavut? Great..... <Mary Lou 1 goes to tell the others about what she discovered as we … > Fade? Fade back in and we catch Stank in the corner setting Johnny Adrenaline up for a CRADLE TO THE GRAVE! That move is hit simultaneously with the other Stank holding FF Capslock on his shoulders and delivering a thunderous STANK-U! Attitude Adjuster double clotheslines the other Johnny Adrenaline and the other AA over the top rope! Stank, FFC, Stank and Attitude Adjuster (not to be confused with the AA that is lying on the floor next to Johnny- not to be confused with the Johnny lying prone on the mat after being dropped by the CTG.) All four men left standing climb the corner turnbuckles and retrieve their prizes from the poles!
Your WINNERS and NEW Promo of the Year, Tag Team of the Year, Feud of the Year and Catchphrase of the Year champions from years past... Stank, FF Capslock, Stank and Attitude Adjuster - The Never Ending Promo hit squad!Stank - We have a team name? FFC - Makes about as much sense as everything else in this promo. Stank - What the fuck happened to our audience? *Stank, Stank, AA, and FFC look out into the crowd and see that they all have been replaced by statues of weeping angles.* AA - Oh shit. FFC - What? AA - You don't recognize those? Stank - No. Stank - What are they Alan? AA - They're creatures who feed off the potential time energy of others. FFC - The what now? AA - Normally they'd be looking for the Tardis, but I suspect they're hungry for the time energy from this never ending promo. Stank - Wait... the fucking Tardis from Dr Who? FFC - Doctor what? Stank - No who. FFC - Huh? Stank - Who Gotdammit! Stank - All of you just shutup! Alan C'mon seriously? Now we got Doctor Who characters to -AAAAAHHH! FFC - The Fuck? Stank - Those statues were a LOT further away a second ago! AA - Just do as I say. Don't look away from them. As long as we are looking at them they stay as statues. The moment we look away... *FF Capslock (not to be confused with the FFC standing in the ring.) finds himself suddenly in the clutches of a weeping angel statue.) Stank - ... that shit happens. FFC - That statue KILLED the other me! Stank - I don't remember this episode of Doctor Who. AA - It's from the third season of the Doctor Who reboot. Stank - They rebooted Doctor Who? FFC - Doctor what now? Stank - Don't start that shit again. AA - You haven't watched the reboot? It's awesome. The episode with these creatures in it is one of the best ever. I defy anyone who has not seen Doctor Who to watch the episode titled "Blink" and then afterwards not become a fan. Stank - Nerd. FFC - Dufus. Stank - Hey you two shut up. I like Doctor - AHHHHH! They're FUCKING CLOSER! AA - And THEY GOT JOHHNY! *Indeed one of the weeping angles has grabbed hold of the Johnny Adrenaline that AA clotheslined out of the ring. The other AA runs up the ramp and out of the arena screaming.* JA - DON'T LOOK AWAY! DON'T LOOK AWAY! FFC - Shut the fuck up Johnny! JA - Oh REAL CUTE there Capslock! MUST you ALWAYS hit the catchphrase? *While FFC and JA are arguing the others run away while the weeping angels close in. FFC inside the ring suddenly finds himself caught at the height of getting powerbombed, no doubt had JA not focused his gaze on the angel, FFC would have been driven through the mat. As it is JA finds himself locked in a bearhug by the angel holding him. FFC climbs down from his position careful not to take his eyes off the angel who held him up.* JA - A little help? FFC - I hate Doctor What. JA - It's WHO damn it! Fade<...back in to the main part of the brawl with the Fires, Mooses, P&G, Darlings,Wyatts, Mary Lous, Stanks, AA's, Ghostheads, Stans and Mais, multiple characters running everywhere. In walks GMSelena pushing a serving tray with what looks like a flashing light, siren, and a big red button on it. She walks up to LD and The Kai! who are still surveying what they caused. GMSelena pushes the button and the alarm sounds a great scream and then the duplicate characters and much of the carnage disappears. The remaining characters are confused and disoriented – or, in Awesome Bill and Justin's cases, perfectly normal – and GM Selena breathes a sigh of relief. She walks over to Wyatt Cox, still picking himself up from his tumple into the Halliburton.> GMSelena: Well, Wyatt, it turns out your information was accurate. Wyatt: It was? I mean, of course it was. What information? GMSelena: The information that you had Mary Lou bring me about the location of the Discontinuity Alarm that used to be in the Destroyitarium. Mary Lou told us you found out about it and tracked it down to a fan in Nunavut. It cost us a pretty penny to get it back, but seeing as we don't have to pay for all this, well, it's better this way. Wyatt: Of course it is. GMSelena: The question remains, where do we put it? Mary Lou: You know, Selena, we have a safe room at the complex. It was intended to be used if there was a war or national emergency. We could store it there. GMSelena: Cool idea. You and Wyatt are so smart. Mary Lou: Yes, yes we are. GMSelena: CHUCKLES! <Chuckles comes walking up bowlegged with a stream of adding machine tape trailing him from his...well...> GMSelena: Make sure this gets to Power and Glory's place in Nevada. Speaking of which, Ladies? Chuckles: Juh.... <Power and Glory hit a Double Elimination on Chuckles and Selena falls down laughing> ABFD: Hold on there, Miss Selena, them Herculese and Edrafication are purdy good, but watch this. <ABFD picks up Chuckles and hits the Decatur Drop. Selena laughs harder...> GMSelena: I hate you, but that was funny! <Justin shrugs his shoulders and hits the Moment of Clarity on Chuckles> GMSelena: Stop, you're killing me. <Everyone stops, then Selena looks up> GMSelena: No, you can go on. That was just … what do they call that … an expression? Justin: Sure, let's go with that. <All the OOWF talent lines up to take their shot at Chuckles except for LD who steps in front of an OOWF banner, wearing sunglasses and a yellow do-rag.** LDW: “Well ya know somethin brother, the Willster loves the beach. The Kai: Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Do we really wanna chance this again? LDW: Damn! Ron Simmons: That's MY line! <LD cuts to the front of the line and hits a Canadian Destroyer on Chuckles as Selena continues to laugh and we finally> FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 4:55:26 GMT -5
~~~ Chad and Zane are back in their dressing rooms, and clothed. Bridgette is watching the promos on OOWF-TV Their brawl with Gay for Pay comes on the screen. Zane visibly winces ~~~
Zane: Please, turn that off.
Bridgette: Why? I kind of like this part. It shows a side of you we rarely get to see on camera.
Chad: Literally
Zane: (Smack)
Chad: Ow!
Zane: I don't mind the silliness that goes on around here, but what I don't understand is how we got in the Sauna in the first place? I hate those things.
Bridgette: Sometimes you just go with it Hon.
Chad: That's what I say!
Zane: (Smack)
Chad: Ow!
Bridgette: Hon, be nice to him. You'll need his help this week against Banned From Everywhere
Zane: Looks like they're banned from in here too.
Chad: Too bad, I'd kinda like to see what ol' Ellie Mae has under that burlap.
Bridgette: You're incorrigible
Chad: And good at it. Speaking of. I have a Hot tub date with a SFJ.
Zane: Which one?
Chad: Umm... All of them? You two want to join in again? I think Bridgette here liked the views in the sauna (He winks at Bridgette) I know I sure did.
Bridgette: (Smack)
Chad: Ow!
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 6:13:29 GMT -5
(Wyatt, Mary Lou and the twins return to their suite from the Never Ending Promo that finally concluded. Wyatt is holding an ice pack on his head with one hand and is on the phone with the other)
Wyatt: Put it in the safe room when it gets there, Clancey. That's right. No, I'll deal with that when we get back. Certainly. OK, thanks Clancey. Bye. (Wyatt hangs up the phone)
Mary Lou: There, all's well that ends well.
Wyatt: You tracked all this down on your own, then told Selena that I did it? Why?
Mary Lou: Let's face it, you need all the positive mojo with that lady as you can get. After all, Edra and Clio kicking the crap out of Chuckles only gets you so far.
Wyatt: That's so sweet, thank you my love.
Mary Lou: Just don't forget what you promised me.
Wyatt: Meaning?
Mary Lou: Walking down the aisle as soon as we get back to the States.
Wyatt: We'll probably have to get a new license. I'll email the attorneys to check on that and get everything together as soon as we get back to Ely. How does the first weekend in October sound?
Mary Lou: Like it's an eternity away, but I think I can wait.
Wyatt: Good, we'll have to shop for nice dresses for you and the girls, invite our...friends...
Edra: Oh, can we, Dad?
Clio: This will be so cool!
Mary Lou: Sure, why not?
Wyatt: I'm sorry, I'm … a little distracted. That thought brings me back to Stan and Mai.
Edra: Dad, they left us.
Clio: And we were really mean to them last week.
Wyatt: I know, I got carried away, made it too personal. This week, we need to bring it like we did last week against the Darlings. Keep strictly to business and we can make this happen.
Mary Lou: Then you get what you want. A Tag Team Title match that you've earned, that won't have the distractions in place.
Wyatt: Oh, speaking of which, will you ladies excuse me? Mary Lou, can you arrange for a nice dinner in tonight?
Mary Lou: On it.
(Mary Lou kisses Wyatt and he leaves the suite. He looks around, sniffing his way through the halls, and eventually sniffs out Drunkey and Awesome Bill.)
Wyatt: BILL! What a surprise to see you out here!
ABFD: Well, ifn it ain't White Cogs. How the heck are yew?
Wyatt: Finer than Frogs hair split seven ways.
ABFD: Well what are you doin out roamin the halls without your girls and that honey of yours?
Wyatt: Well, I was hoping to find you and Justin and let you know about something that I heard.
ABFD: Shoot, lay it on me, I'm all ears!
Wyatt: Yeah, well you know that you're facing Texpress this week, right?
ABFD: Hell yeah, that Oscar Meyer and Billy Madison, they're outdamnstandinger than hell.
Wyatt: Well, you know, they're Prohibitionists, right?
ABFD: Shoot, don't matter if they're Prohibitionists, Methodists, Lutherans, don't much matter to me. They just seem like nice fellers.
Wyatt: NO-Bill, Prohibitionists are opposed to the consumption of fermented spirits
ABFD: The what of pigmented who, now?
Wyatt: They don't believe in drinking alcohol, especially Pine Cone Party Likker...er, Sake.
ABFD: Whut? Them good old country boys don't like my Likker? Hell, even that good ol' Father Lou has himself a drank while he's watchin them Ranger fellas play baseball.
Wyatt: Right. If I was...if I were you, I'd keep a close eye on your still. You DO have the still set up here, right?
ABFD: Yeah, old Johnny Law Selena made me put it out back which is a good thing cause it mighta got smashed up in all that mess that Elle Dee started this week..
Wyatt: Well, you better keep an eye on it. You may wanna go out and check on it in an hour or so.
ABFD: I dunno why everyone thinks you're not a nice feller, you done saved my precious likker supply.
Wyatt: Not a problem Bill, see ya later...
ABFD: Outdamnstandinger than hell.
(Wyatt walks away from Bill toward the rear of the building and along the way picks up a sledgehammer and a cowboy hat as we....)
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 21, 2012 23:28:31 GMT -5
<Bill, Justin and Ellie May are walking through the hall of the arena>
EMFE: Ok, so you boys need to be ready, you have a match against Texpress tomorrow night, it's non-title, but still, if you win, you might get a shot at the titles!
ABFD: Wait......how come wes rasslin them? I done beatified them
JS: You did?
ABFD: I did?
EMFE: When did you beat Texpress?
ABFD: In that chere promo what last forever. I done whupped them down!
JS: That was the 1982 Denver Broncos
ABFD: They ain't the Texicans?
JS: They are not the Texans, no
ABFD: Well, who is they then?
JS: They were a football team. From 30 years ago. And may also have been a figment of someone's imagination
ABFD: So, what you're sayin then is......
<Just then they walk through the door to go outside and check on the still. They see the still destroyed. A sledgehammer and a cowboy hat lay on the ground near the wreckage>
ABFD: OH NO! THE STILL!
JS: This doesn't seem right......
ABFD: WHY LORD? WHY?
EMFE: A cowboy hat? and a sledgehammer?
ABFD: IT WAS IN THE PRIME OF ITS PINE CONE PARTY SAKI PRODUCIN LIFE!
JS: Well, there WAS that promo earlier where Wyatt said the Texans were against alcohol
ABFD: TAKE ME INSTEAD LORD! NOOOOOOOOOO!
EMFE: Look, there is a handkerchief on the ground by the sledgehammer!
ABFD: THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER! WHAT FOR HAVE I DONE TO YOU LORD!!!! And you BETTER answer me! This chere still ain't never done nothin to you!
JS: Jinkies! I think that is a clue! We should track down the owner of this handkerchief and find out who destroyed the still!
EMFE: That is a good idea Justin!
JS: TO THE DONKEYS!
<they turn around, and Awesome Bill is standing there with a Sherlock Holmes cap and cape, a magnifying glass, and a meerschaum pipe standing with Drunkey and Drunkette>
ABFD: We got us a damn ol mystery to solve.
<Cut back to Justin and Ellie May, Justin is wearing a white sweater with an ascot, while Ellie May is still wearing the burlap bag>
EMFE: Seriously? I can't even get a new dress?
ABFD: I done told you womerns, burlap makes you all sexified!
JS: Let's follow the trail, I have a feeling if we visit Old Man Scaia's shack out behind the arena, we will find some clues there!
EMFE: Shouldn't we look in the old abandoned mine next to the arena? The very place where legend has it the old teetotalers used to drag drunks to and preach them to death?
JS: No, we can't go there
ABFD: We banned from there?
JS: we are Banned From Everywhere
ABFD: Outdamnstandener than hell!
ABFD:
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 22, 2012 17:46:57 GMT -5
Early morning in the Darling Luxury Suites, and Alexander is up, sort of awake, and dressed in running clothes. He's looking around like he's misplaced something, when Firewoman comes in, clearly coming back from game-day run. Alexander looks at his watch.
AD: Hey....you're back already? I didn't oversleep this time.
FW: No, I was up.
AD: Couldn't sleep again?
FW: I guess.
AD: Are you letting Dr. Sid know? Because he wantd to know if anything changed after--
FW: No, I did not let Dr. Sid know. He doesn't need to know every damn thing.
AD: *pause* ... After Moose laid down this ridiculous challenge and you ridiculously accepted.
FW: I thought you were on board with this.
AD: *sigh* I think you're still looking at him like the kid that looks up to her big brother, and you don't see that he is not the same person as he was before...
FW: Before Patrick.
AD: Fire, that was not your fault then, and it's not your responsibility to set it right now, or ... whatever it is you think this is about. This is about Moose's own inner demons and I'd prefer he work them out on someone else.
FW: It'll be fine, Alex.
AD: It will not be fine.
FW: Did you see the Highlight Reel?
AD: Hmm...Highlight Reel....Highlight Reel...wait, was that the show you were on with your ex-fiancee where you told him that not marrying him was a huge mistake? No...didn't see that one.
FW: That's not what I meant.
AD: Uh huh. Not just a mistake. A "huge HUGE mistake" apparently.
FW: Alex...
Fire takes HIS hand this time, which she apparently doesn't usually do. It kind of surprises him.
FW: I think we both know that it would have been better had I just told him I didn't want to marry him at the time, instead of creating the huge spectacle that it was.
AD: The board would disagree. The DVD from that is a huge seller even two years later.
FW: I'm not talking about sales. And I think you would also agree that a wedding neither of us can remember is not all that great anyway, right?
AD: ....
FW: So if I really think it's a mistake, would I still be here? Would I have agreed to that ridiculous Excalibur club thing? Would I be wearing a ring on my hand now? Would I have worn that STUPID dress Alexis picked out for me?
AD: Clearly you would. Because I've brainwashed you, and you're under my spell. You just don't realize it yet.
FW: Uh huh.
Alexander smiles.
AD: You did look great in that dress.
FW: Uh huh. It was a bitch to get on.
AD: Was fun to take off though....
FW: ANYWAY....the point I was making about the Highlight Reel...When Chris grabbed my wrist and said those things...Moose stepped in. He defended me.
AD: You didn't need him to.
FW: That's not the point. He does still care.
AD: So? He laid you out with a DDT soon after.
FW: Pfft, big deal. I can take DDTs in my sleep. Don't you see what that means? He's not as mad at me as he pretends to be.
Fire smiles, whereas Alex just looks concerned.
AD: I would still feel better if I could go to the ring with you, be in your corner.
FW: No way. You'd distract Moose and get involved somehow. You promised you'd stay out of it.
AD: I will...up to a point.
FW: ....
AD: You aren't going to budge on this are you.
FW: Nope.
AD: Fine. Okay. I hope you're right.
Fire plants a kiss on his cheek, and jogs somewhat happily off to take a shower. Alex picks up his phone and dials a number.
AD: Hey, Doc.....no, not sleeping.....
FAAAAAAAADE
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 22, 2012 17:48:40 GMT -5
<Moose is sitting in the back relaxing with a beer. Stank is pacing around the room>
S:…….and watch that kick of hers, she is stubborn as a mule and can kick just as hard. And the Firestomp……..did you work out an escape from that? And what about her speed? How are you going to counter that? And….
MHJ: Why are you going on like a mother hen? Will you relax? Why are you so worried about this?
S: Because I know the road you two are headed down, and despite my better judgment, you two are like family
MHJ: It will be fine
S: No…..I know you both. There are no two people on earth more stubborn than you
MHJ: It will be fine. I need her full attention
S: I think you have her full attention. Did you SEE her the other week? She wanted to rip your face off
MHJ: No, right now I have her angry, which is a good start. I want her full, undivided, focused attention
S: Jack……I don’t think you do. I think you are underestimating her, I don’t think you know what she is really capable of
MHJ: That is where you and Alex are both wrong. Alex may know her in ways that make me sick, but no one knows Lisa better than I do. You don’t go through what we did and not know one another. I know exactly what she is capable of. What I want to see is if she will actually still use what she has
S: You won’t be happy until one of you is hurt
MHJ: Both of us will be hurt. There is no escaping that. I am not naïve enough to think Lisa isn’t going to do all she can to win, but right now, she is not there. Tonight is just step one
S: How do you figure that?
MHJ: Because she is underestimating me. One, she thinks I won’t hurt her, that I will hold back. That little rap on the jaw was just the tip of the iceberg. She wants to be a Darling, she will be treated like one
S: And two?
MHJ: This match is an onslaught match. In her mind, she has already won this because she thinks I can’t hang with her in a wrestling match. See, the old Fire would never have done that. Every opponent, from SYB to you, was taken with deadly seriousness. She has become complacent. I held that Onslaught title just as long as she did, tonight I am going to prove that it wasn’t a fluke
S: I just don’t get it. I don’t get what you are trying to accomplish here
MHJ: <smirking> I am trying to save her
S: Oh THAT will go over well
MHJ: Lucas, if you saw your brother floundering, if you saw him struggling, slipping from what he once was………you know as well as anyone that in this sport, you start to slip and the rest of the roster is on you like a pack of wolves. There is no mercy, everyone is fighting for their spot, and if it means proving a point at your expense, they will not hesitate to do it. Do you think, if Evans got Lisa in the ring and she half assed it, do you think he would show the slightest bit of mercy?
S: No
MHJ: Exactly. I get crucified for my actions, but people who think I am just out to destroy Lisa for pleasure……they don’t get it. She is either going to come out of this series with me as the old Firewoman, the meanest, baddest woman from Detroit, or……
S: ……..or?
MHJ: Or I am going to be the one to put her out of her misery. Now stop worrying, I got this
S: Trust you?
MHJ: I wouldn’t
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 22, 2012 17:49:15 GMT -5
(Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the twins are in the focus room just a few hours before Midweek Mayhem, going over last minute information.)
Mary Lou: ...so that's what we were able to find out.
Wyatt: Excellent work as usual. Got the plan?
Edra: Absolutely, Dad.
Clio: We're ready to go, Dad.
Wyatt: OK, Mary Lou, would you take care of that little matter and let me get a focus session in with the girls?
Mary Lou: on it!
(Mary Lou kisses Wyatt on the cheek as she turns out the lights and closes the door, leaving the room illuminated by a single candle.)
Wyatt: OK, take a deep breath and relax. Before we get started, I wanted to say how proud I am of the way things have gone down in the last few days. You two have shown me the work ethic and desire to succeed that I know you always have. I'm confident in you. So confident, that this will be about an hour focus training, a light lunch, a light workout, and our pre-match ceremony.
Edra: Thanks Dad.
Clio: That means so much to us, thank you.
Wyatt: Now what I want to focus on is the strategy. First, Mai. Keep her grounded. Work her on the mat and don't try anything fancy. Same with Stan. Take his legs out. Don't just shoot for the head. Save that until you have him down. Above all, don't let them keep you in their corner. In and out, the basics. In the ring, focus on the immediate opponent, don't be distracted. On the apron, keep your eyes open on the big picture. Now, let's get started. Focus on the flame...
(The INC leaves the room and we fade to just about an hour later as Wyatt and the twins emerge from the focus room)
Wyatt: OK, let me make a call and we'll go get lunch. I'm so proud of you...
(Mary Lou and the twins are beaming and all four enjoy a group hug. Wyatt moves to his office and closes the door. He picks up and dials the phone.)
Wyatt: Hello, this is Mr Green. Did you get the instructions from my messenger? Good, 20 to 30 people carrying signs. You got the signs and the script? Excellent. Thank you so much. Goodbye.
(Wyatt hangs up the phone as we....)
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 22, 2012 17:51:43 GMT -5
*Quick cut to Ski Mask Guy...waving his metal pole around...smiling*
SMG: Hi Cubheart! Did ya miss me? I told you I was coming for you, didn't I? And I did...And I'm here...to make your life a living hell.
SMG: I'm not done, Chris. You talentless piece of garbage. You could quite possibly be the luckiest motherfucker in the history of the company. But don't worry - that lucky streak is about to end, Cubheart.
SMG: Ski Mask Guy is here...so...look behind you! I might be there. Or not. Or I could be Sting in the rafters. Or under the ring. Or hiding in your closet. You never will know, will you?
SMG: One thing's for sure...by the time I'm through with you...you will no longer be tarnishing that championship. In fact, if I do my job right, you'll be rocking back and forth in the fetal position while sucking your thumb.
SMG: And...*twirls pole*...I do my job. Right. Sayonara, Cubheart.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 22, 2012 19:17:05 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Kagoshima, Japan ALEXANDER & ALEXIS DARLING vs. GAY FOR PAYApparently, Gay for Pay had a “Fill the Cup” contest to see which two members (heh) wrestled to night. Peter Throbbingrod and Buck Stiffrod won, so Stanley is backstage, paying off the bet. We won’t go into details here. The Darlings come out to a rousing ovation and go right to work on GFP. Alexis sends PT into the ropes and floors him with a clothesline. She doesn’t let up, hitting a seated dropkick, then tying him up in the Kondo Clutch. PT extends himself and reaches for the ropes, but he falls an inch short. Buck stomps on Lexie’s head to break the hold, and he gets speared out of the ring by Alex. Alex sends Buck into the ring steps and kicks him a couple of times. Peter takes advantage, scooping her up and slamming her across his knee. He presses down in the backbreaker, and Alex knees him in the back of the head. Alex gets the tag in and goes on the assault, forearms, elbows and chops soon have PT slumped in the corner looking lifeless. Alex hurls him into the GFP corner, where Buck has just gotten back to the apron. The tag is made, and Buck gingerly enters the ring. Alex offers a collar and elbow tie up, but knees BS in the gut and then plants him with 1…2…3…4…5 rolling German suplexes. BS is dizzy on his feet as he gets up. Alexis tags in and hits the Bitch Killer! PT breaks up the pin, and Alex is in to respond. Alex pulls Peter on his shoulders, then waits as Alexis does the same to Buck. Double Darling Drivers! Alex and Alexis switch foes momentarily and make eye contact. Both GFPers get rolled on their bellies, Double Curb stomps! This one is over. Alexis goes for the pin, but Alex stops her and sends her to the top turnbuckle. He grabs Buck, and loads him up to Alexis for a DARLING BOMBSHELL! SHE NAILS IT! The crowd shows their approval with a “Holy Shit” chant. Alexis covers Buck, Alex stands guard beside her as the referee counts 1…..2…..3! WINNER; in 4:52; The Darling Twins. STANK & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. FF CAPSLOCK & JOHNNY ADRENALINEWe get chaos at the bell as all four men just start brawling. Referee Angelo Barros has his hands full with this one. Stank and Capslock tumble through the ropes to the floor, where the Mysterious Masked Man joins in to make it a 2 on 1 assault. Alan and Johnny are at it in the ring, so Barros calls for the bell and we’re underway. Johnny suplexes AA and drops a rolling knee to the head. AA rolls out of the way of an elbow drop and takes JA down with a leg sweep. He turns to his corner and sees no Stank. The camera pans down and Stank is on the floor near his corner, on his hands and knees bleeding. FFC and MMM are back at their corner thoroughly enjoying their handiwork. AA looks around and gets caught by a freshly-tagged in FF Capslock. Big corner splash. Running big boot and a shoulder breaker have AA in serious trouble. FF tries for the Greetings From Fresno, but AA wriggles free and pushes him into the turnbuckles. Alan hits a running knee to the head, and yells out “C’mon Baby” as he tries the bulldog follow up. FF pushes him out of it and AA crash lands on the mat. FF hits the ropes, but from the floor Stank grabs his ankles and trips him up! FF gets in Barros’ face, complaining about the trip, as MMM grabs AA from behind and puts him in a blatant choke hold. AA is fading fast, and Stank can barely contain himself. MMM tosses Alan to the mat and FF stops the argument to go back to kicking AA while he’s down. Stank fires up the crowd and they try to WILL AA to make the tag, but every time he gets close, FF pulls him back. Johnny tags in and sets up for the Adrenaline Rush DDT, but AA counter with a spine buster! He rolls to the corner and Stank gets the hot tag to end all hot tags! Razz: Now playing the role of Robert Gibson, Stank!And he does. Right hands to JA, then FF, then MMM, then FF again, then Johnny again. All three men are down and Stank grabs FF and MMM and tosses both over the ropes at once! He hoists Johnny up. Triple Power bomb! Stank calls for it, and the crowd agrees, STANK – U! AA runs interference as Barros counts 1…..2…..3! WINNERS; in 8:51; Stank & Attitude Adjuster. After the bell, AA and Stank celebrate, when FFC and MMM Pearl harbor them. Johnny joins in and we witness a brutal attack. Alan gets thrown through the announce table by MMM and Capslock. Johnny pulls out brass knuckles and lays in to Stank, re-opening his wounds from the pre-match attack. MMM grabs a monitor from the Igpay Atinlay Announceway Abletay and swings it, connecting with Alan’s head. AA slowly falls to the floor, clearly unconscious. Johnny pulls Stank to his feet and MMM connects with another monitor shot, and Stank crumbles to the floor, completely out of it. Security floods the ring side area and the three men escape through the crowd. LD WILLIAMS & THE KAI vs. CHRIS EVANS & MATT FOLZLD and Evans are set to start us off. Evans feigns a lock up, then backs into his corner smirking at LD and tags in Matt. LD tries to get Chris to re-enter the ring to no avail. We get a lock up and a furious pace start. Headlock, Irish whip, back elbow, shoulder block, hammerlock, reverse, re-reverse, re-re-reversed, belly to back suplex, headlock, head scissor. Both men pop up and circle each other, until Kai blind tags himself in. Kai hits a takedown and gets in a couple of punches before the referee can break it up. Kai pulls Folz up and doubles him over, then hits a running knee lift. Folz tags in Evans. CE and Kai lock up and we get another similar sequence as we did earlier, this one ending with Evans coming out of the head scissor with a single leg crab on Kai. Kai reaches the ropes, but does not get the clean break. Instead, Evans steps on Kai’s neck and walks to the corner to tag Folz back in. Folz grabs Kai and he tried to get to his corner and drags him back, then locks in a STF. Kai again struggles to get to the ropes, but does and again, we don’t get a clean break as Folz kicks and kicks at Kai. LD comes running in for the save, and Evans evens things out. LD and CE start brawling, and it takes several moments for the referee to get them back to their own corners. In the meantime Kia has fought his way to his feet and gotten a little momentum on Folz, dropping him with a hot shot across the top rope and then a flying forearm. Kai covers, and CE breaks it up. LD tackles Evans out of the ring and they end up on the floor Folz low blows Kai and turns around and grabs LD, who had climbed on the apron to jump off on Evans. LD and Folz trade a couple of blows, when Kai grabs Folz, spins him around, whips him across the ring and hits the REEF BOTTOM! Kai covers for 1….2….3! Evans is too late to break up the pin! WINNERS in 11:50; The Kai & LD Williams MOOSEHEADJACK vs. FIREWOMAN – Best of Seven, Match 1: Onslaught Rules“Firewoman” by the Cult plays and Firewoman makes her way to the ring, slapping hands with the Japanese fans along the way. Fire climbs to the middle turnbuckle and points to the crowd and does a ceremonial bow, and gets a huge pop from the fans. She hops off the apron and waits in the corner for her brother. “Scarecrow” by Ministry plays, and Moosehead Jack walks out and the cheers for Fire immediately turn to a deafening chorus of boos. Moose smirks at the boos and heads to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope and sitting slumped in the corner. The announcer announces that they have both waived the usual fifteen minute time limit on Onslaught rules matches, and have agreed to a 60 minute time limit. The referee calls them both to the middle of the ring for the handshake. Moose takes his sweet time getting up and slowly walks to the middle of the ring. Fire stares at him and extends her hand. Moose just glares at her. The referee yells at Moose to shake hands, but Moose ignores it. Finally the referee gives up and calls for the bell, this one is underway! The bell has barely stopped echoing through the arena, when Moose just hauls off and PUNCHES Fire right in the mouth, sending her to the mat. Moosehead Jack has used his first referee warningNot even five seconds into the match, that has to be a record. Fire pops back up and LIGHTS Moose up with chops to the chest, backing him into the corner. Fire sends Moose to the ropes and tries a back drop, but she lowers her head a moment too soon and Moose catches her with a kick to the jaw that stands her back up. Moose tries a clothesline, but Fire ducks it and grabs Moose around the waist and dumps him to the mat with a release German suplex. Moose gets to his feet and stumbles back into the corner, and Fire charges in, but Moose catches her on the jaw with a boot, then climbs up to the middle rope and catches her with an elbow to the top of the head that sends her to the mat. Moose immediately drops several knees on Fire’s perpetually damaged ribs, and covers, driving the point of his elbow into her jaw. Fire kicks out at one, but Moose holds on with an arm bar and wears Fire to the mat, threatening to rip her shoulder out of socket. Fire fights back to her feet and reverses the arm bar, wringing Moose’s arm and catching him with a crescent kick to the jaw that sends Moose to the ropes. On the rebound, Fire catches Moose with a hard forearm to the side of the head, then grabs his head and hits a CODEBREAKER. Moose staggers, and Fire hops to her feet, slips behind him and drops him with a LUNGBLOWER, then springs off the middle rope with a FIRESAULT! Fire covers, but Moose kicks out at two. Moose rolls out of the ring to the floor. Fire gets to her feet and charges at the ropes and flips over the top rope, but Moose catches her on his shoulders and POWERBOMBS her on the apron! Fire falls to the floor grabbing her ribs in pain. Moose grabs her by the hair and pulls her up and SLAMS her on the concrete floor, then climbs to the apron and hits a running elbow drop! Moose rolls Fire back into the ring and follows, covering her, but Fire kicks out at two. Moose pulls Fire up and lifts her for a suplex, then throws her at the ropes. Fire lands across the top rope, then falls into the ring grabbing her stomach and ribs in pain. Moose drops another elbow across her chest, then locks her in the ANACONDA VICE! Fire struggles and tries to hook Moose’s head with her legs and pull him into a head scissors, but she is not quite flexible enough. Fire begins to fade, but before she loses consciousness, she works her way close enough to the ropes to get her foot on the bottom strand. Firewoman has used her first rope breakMoose pulls Fire up and shoves her to the corner. He charges in with a high knee to the face, then hammers her with forearms to the side of the head. Moose sets her on the top rope, then climbs up for a superplex, but Fire blocks it, grabs Moose by the back of the head and repeatedly slams him in the face with headbutts until he falls to the mat. Moose gets right back to his feet, blood running from a cut on his nose and climbs back up, but Fire catches him with a knee to the sternum, hooks him, and hits a PEPSI PLUNGE! (top rope Pedigree) Fire covers, but now it is Moose’s turn to get his foot on the bottom rope. Moose uses his first rope breakMoose tries to roll out of the ring and makes it to the apron before Fire grabs him, pulls him back between the ropes and hits a DDT! She rolls Moose over, but Moose kicks out at two. Fire pulls her brother to his feet and sends him into the corner, then charges in and LAUNCHES herself at him, catching him with a knee to the face. Moose staggers out of the corner and Fire takes him to the mat with an enzuguri, then grabs his legs and turns him over in the WALLS OF JERICHO! Moose howls in pain as Fire drops her knee on the back of his head and threatens to break him in half. Moose grabs Fire’s ankle and knocks her leg from beneath her, sending her to the mat. At the same time, both siblings grab an ANKLE LOCK! They alternate snarling in pain with trying to make it to the ropes. The referee looks somewhat confused and keeps asking both of them if they want to submit. At the same time, they both shout “HELL NO” then get their free feet on the bottom rope. Moose and Fire have both used their second rope breakMoose rolls out of the ring and limps a little, Fire gets to her feet inside the ring, but Moose grabs her leg and pulls her to the outside. He levels her with a clothesline, then drops a knee across the inside of her knee, keeps all his weight on it and bends her leg at a disturbing angle. Fire dares him to break it, but Moose doesn’t, instead he pulls her up and rolls her back into the ring, quickly follows and grabs her leg and traps her in an Indian death lock! Moose releases the hold and tries for a figure four, but Fire grabs him in an inside cradle for a two count. Fire gets to her feet, but before she can turn around, Moose chop blocks her from behind sending her to the mat, grabbing her knee in pain. Moose grabs Fire’s leg and pulls her to the corner and leaves the ring, and repeatedly slams her knee into the ring post. The referee warns Moose, but he ignores the referee, which draws an official warning from the referee. Moosehead Jack has used his second referee warningFire drags herself to the middle of the ring and tries to stand on her leg. Moose stands over her taunting her to get up. Moose even offers her his hand, laughing and no doubt ready to clothesline her into oblivion, but Fire snarls at him and shoves him away and gets to her feet on her own. Moose charges for that clothesline, but fire ducks and as Moose rebounds off the ropes, Fire POPS him with a SUPERKICK! Fire collapses as she hits it, but Moose hits the mat hard grabbing his jaw, blood pouring from his mouth. In a moment we see why as Moose spits out a tooth. Moose pulls himself up in the corner and Fire launches herself at him, catching him with a HARD forearm to the face that rocks his head back. Fire unleashes her fury, wailing on Moose with chops to the chest and punches to the jaw. Moose is grinning like a madman the whole time, laughing and yelling for her to hit him harder. So she does. Moose is evidently tired of getting hit, so he starts hitting back. Forearms quickly turn to punches and both Quinn’s are throwing punches, which is against the Onslaught rules. The referee tries to get between them, but they ignore him, so he gives them both another warning. Firewoman gets her second referee warning, Moosehead Jack gets his third and final referee warningMoose lands a kick to Fire’s knee that staggers her, he tries another charge, but fire leaps up and catches him with a knee to the forehead that staggers him. Fire grabs Moose from behind and hits a bridging German suplex, dropping Moose right on his head. She gets a two count before Moose kicks out. Moose is a bit disoriented from the drop and Fire pulls him up and grabs him by the back of the head and slams him in the face with several headbutts, then leaps up and snaps him over in a hurracarana pinning position for a two count, Moose reverses it into a sunset flip pin for a two count of his own. Fire rolls through and hits a double drop kick to Moose’s face that slams his head onto the canvas. Fire pulls Moose up and sets him up and hits the STYLES CLASH! She rolls him over and covers, but Moose gets his foot on the bottom rope to avoid the three count. Moosehead Jack has used his third and final rope breakFire gets to her feet, limping badly. She grabs Moose’s legs and drags him toward the corner, then leaps in the air and drops a knee across his chest. Moose coughs up a little blood and looks out of it. Fire heads to the corner and calls for the BEST FIRESAULT EVER! As she climbs the ropes – a little slower than usual because of the knee – Moose gets to his feet, Fire leaps and Moose catches her, almost falling over, but regaining his balance, then hits a SIT-OUT TOMBSTONE! (the same move that nearly paralyzed Steve Austin) Moose rolls Fire over, hooks her head and leg and gets the one, two, THREE! WINNER in 37:39 – Moosehead Jack; Moose leads the Best of Seven Series 1-0 After the match Moose lies on the mat for a few minutes, then slowly gets to his feet and looks down at Fire who hasn’t moved. Paramedics come in to check on her and he stumbles to the corner and begins laughing, yelling “I KNEW IT! FIREWOMAN IS DEAD!” Fire hears this and shoves the paramedics away. She slowly gets to one knee then stands up, barely, limping on her knee and holding her neck. She walks toward the corner and flips Moose the double bird before falling to the mat and rolling under the bottom rope. She staggers up the ramp, and is met by Alexander Darling, who stares daggers into Moose. Moose slumps onto the second rope and watches Fire go, a shiteating grin on his face. POWER & GLORY vs. HOLY SPIRIT SQUAD– Number One Contenders MatchStan & Mai are out first, followed by Power, Glory, Mary Lou and Wyatt. We get Stan and Power to start, with Stan taking the early advantage over powering Power. He backs her into the ropes and hits a nice spinning clothesline. Wyatt is pounding the mat and yelling instructions. Stan connects with a power slam and then a fist drop. Mai tags in and vaults over the ropes with a senton. She lets Power get to her feet, then drops her with a Tiger Suplex. Mai maneuvers around and puts Power in the cattle mutilation. Glory runs in and stomps on Mai, breaking the hold. Stan runs in to help his partner and Wyatt jumps on the apron. The referee turns, sees this and tosses Wyatt out! Wyatt is none too happy about this, and gives us his best Earl Weaver impersonation. Mary Lou tries to argue with the referee as well, and she gets the boot too! OOWF officials come down to escort them away Stan and Mai stand and wave at a furious Wyatt, when Power and Glory hit them from behind! Power presses Mai overhead and sends her flying over the ropes to the floor! Glory and Stan trade blows, then Glory sends him into the ropes, where Power pulls the top rope down and Stan tumbles to the floor, landing on his partner! The twins then hit double running planchas on the HSS! Bodies are strewn seemingly everywhere! Glory sends Mai into the ring post. Power rolls Stan onto the Grenadine Announce Table and DDTs him through it. Mai ducks a charging Glory and sends her into the debris. She tries to pull Stan up, but is distracted by the bell ringing. Apparently, the referee never stopped counting. Decision; in 7:54, Double Countout. TEXPRESS vs. BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE – Non-Title MatchBill and Zane get us started, and Zane overpowers AB in the early going. Typical Zane Myers. Press Slam, Vertical Suplex. Big Boot. Slingshot Suplex. He sends Bill into the ropes and Bill comes flying off with a shoulder block. Zane staggers and Bill head butts him. Zane falls back into his corner and tags in Chad. Chad leaps over the ropes and goes at Bill, running right into a body slam and then Bill bulldogs him to the mat. Justin tags in and leaps over the ropes, tripping and falling to the mat hard. Chad pulls him up and arm drags him across the ring, then follows up with a dropkick. Chad backs JS into the corner and chops him a couple of times. Justin stumbles out of the corner and gets belly to belly suplexed. He lands and rolls to his corner where Bill tags back in. Chad swings, but Bill ducks and drops Chad with a nice neck breaker. He slams Chad once, then leg drops him across the chest. Justin tags in and DDTs CM to the mat. Chad crawls to the corner, but JS drags him back and latches on an ankle lock! Chad struggles to the ropes and gets the break, then leg sweeps JS and tags Zane in. Justin greets him with a right hand, but Zane shakes it off easily and spine busters him. Justin crawls between ZM’s legs and tags Bill in. The Awesome one runs in and catches Zane with a knee strike, then a dragon suplex. Zane tries to get to his feet, but Bill takes out his knees and goes for a sharpshooter. Zane drags himself to the ropes and gets to his feet. Bill tries a suplex, but Zane blocks it and hoists AB into the Torture Rack! Ellie Mae then pulls out an envelope, and shows Zane pictures of his and Chad’s naked brawl with Gay for Pay! Zane drops Bill and leans over the ropes to talk to Ellie Mae, when Bill stands up and grabs Zane from behind, DIRTY BIRD! Justin cuts Chad off and the referee counts 1…..2…..3! WINNERS, in 9:57; Banned From Everywhere! Zane is LIVID at Ellie Mae and Chad is doing his best to calm him down in the ring, while BFE celebrates in the crowd with some Pine Cone Party Saki. Suddenly, GM Selena is on the stage with a microphone. GM Selena al-Takriti: Seeing how we did not crown a number one contender earlier, and now the champions just got beat, I am announcing a special 4-way match for Judgment Eve 8 this Sunday, featuring Power & Glory, The Holy Spirit Squad, Banned From Everywhere and The Texpress. The Match is called Ultimate Endurance. 3 separate falls, each with a different stipulation. And it will be for the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Ellie Mae is excited, but Justin and Bill haven’t paid attention to a word Selena said, as they are deep in the crowd drinking. Chad and Zane eye the GM suspiciously. On the OOTron, Wyatt is seen in the back applauding, and on a split screen we seen Stan and Mai nodding their approval. GHOSTHEAD vs. COMRADE SHARKOFF vs. RICKY SOARING EAGLE – Onslaught Championship MatchAs Ghosthead makes his way to the ring, Ricky nails Comrade from behind and begins to lay into him with all his might. Ghost hits the ring, but doesn’t get involved right away. He backs up and watches as RSE pulls Sharkoff up and delivers a nasty big boot. CS hits the mat hard. Ricky turns around and Ghosthead leaps up and hits the Phantasmagoria! He cinches the triangle choke in the middle of the ring and RSE appears to be in BIG trouble here. Ricky tries to dead lift GH into a power bomb, but fails and drops back to his knees and starts to fade. Suddenly, Comrade is up and clocks RSE in the back of the head with his “allegedly” loaded boot! Eagle collapses to the mat and GH rolls him over for a 1…2…3! Ricky Soaring Eagle Has Been Eliminated Ghost pops up quickly as CS tries to nail him with the kick as well. GH grabs Comrade’s foot and takes him to the mat, then snares him in a cross-face. CS Uses his first rope break and drives GH into the corner for a couple of shoulder drives. He backs up and looks like he wants to hit the Sickle, but GH is ready for it and CS eats both of Ghost’s boots as he charged in. Ghost hits an enziguri and a springboard moonsault for a close 2 count. Sharkoff catches a body press and hits a fall away slam. CS nails a Russian Leg Sweep then traps Ghost in a bear hug and Ghost uses his first rope break. Sharkoff drops him, then belly to belly suplexes GH for a 2 count. Sharkoff stalks GH, calling for the Sickle. He charges, but GH ducks. CS puts on the brakes, turns around right into a Phantasmagoria! Sharkoff fights hard, but with nowhere to go, he taps out. Winner; in 12:50, Ghosthead. RABBIT MASK vs. DANNY TAYLOR – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchDanny takes the fight right to Rabbit at the bell. They trade blows back and forth, ending up with RM backed in a corner trying to fight his way out. Rabbit ducks between the ropes, forcing DDT to back up. RM snaps off a kick to the gut and hits an Impaler DDT on Danny. RM backs up and as Taylor gets to his feet, lets loose with a number of Tajiri-like kicks to the head. RM goes to the middle turnbuckle and hits a Bret Hart elbow. Danny drags himself up, only for Rabbit to superkick him in the face and DDT stumbles back into the corner, slumping on the ropes. RM advances, but Danny plays possum and reaches out and nails him with an elbow strike. Then it is Danny throwing punch after punch to RM’s head, then whipping him into the ropes for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Danny drops an elbow and then goes for the Fujiwara arm bar. He struggles with it, as RM is squirming his way closer to the ropes. Danny lets up, hits an inverted atomic drop, followed with a gut wrench suplex. Rabbit is slow getting up, and Danny backs into a corner and spears him through the ropes as RM gets to his feet. They fall to the floor, and RM ends up on top of Danny, and uses that to rake the eyes and untangle himself from DDT. RM hits a X-Pac Face Buster on the floor and rolls himself back in the ring. As the referee starts his count, RM is on his back breathing heavily. Danny gets to his feet at 6 and is back in the ring by 9 to break the count. Both men are slow to their feet. Danny tries a suplex, and RM blocks it, then snaps off one of his own. RM pops up and tries Head Drop #2, but Danny grabs the ropes as RM lifts to block the move. Danny elbows his way out of RM’s grip and uses a knee lift to gain the upper hand. T Bone Suplex, then another, then a third and he calls for the Dynamite Drop! Danny bends down to pull Rabbit to his feet, but RM SPEWS THE WHITE MIST IN HIS FACE! Danny collapses immediately, and the referee calls for the bell. WINNER; in 14:53; via Disqualification; Danny Taylor Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF Judgment Eve 8 August 25th Live! From Tokyo, Japan. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! August 29 th, Live! From Chilliwiack, Vancouver, British Columbia See something you like? Post it here in the 2012 Awards Reminder Thread For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Post by BookerShark on Aug 22, 2012 19:17:28 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Kagoshima, Japan ALEXANDER & ALEXIS DARLING vs. GAY FOR PAYApparently, Gay for Pay had a “Fill the Cup” contest to see which two members (heh) wrestled to night. Peter Throbbingrod and Buck Stiffrod won, so Stanley is backstage, paying off the bet. We won’t go into details here. The Darlings come out to a rousing ovation and go right to work on GFP. Alexis sends PT into the ropes and floors him with a clothesline. She doesn’t let up, hitting a seated dropkick, then tying him up in the Kondo Clutch. PT extends himself and reaches for the ropes, but he falls an inch short. Buck stomps on Lexie’s head to break the hold, and he gets speared out of the ring by Alex. Alex sends Buck into the ring steps and kicks him a couple of times. Peter takes advantage, scooping her up and slamming her across his knee. He presses down in the backbreaker, and Alex knees him in the back of the head. Alex gets the tag in and goes on the assault, forearms, elbows and chops soon have PT slumped in the corner looking lifeless. Alex hurls him into the GFP corner, where Buck has just gotten back to the apron. The tag is made, and Buck gingerly enters the ring. Alex offers a collar and elbow tie up, but knees BS in the gut and then plants him with 1…2…3…4…5 rolling German suplexes. BS is dizzy on his feet as he gets up. Alexis tags in and hits the Bitch Killer! PT breaks up the pin, and Alex is in to respond. Alex pulls Peter on his shoulders, then waits as Alexis does the same to Buck. Double Darling Drivers! Alex and Alexis switch foes momentarily and make eye contact. Both GFPers get rolled on their bellies, Double Curb stomps! This one is over. Alexis goes for the pin, but Alex stops her and sends her to the top turnbuckle. He grabs Buck, and loads him up to Alexis for a DARLING BOMBSHELL! SHE NAILS IT! The crowd shows their approval with a “Holy Shit” chant. Alexis covers Buck, Alex stands guard beside her as the referee counts 1…..2…..3! WINNER; in 4:52; The Darling Twins. STANK & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. FF CAPSLOCK & JOHNNY ADRENALINEWe get chaos at the bell as all four men just start brawling. Referee Angelo Barros has his hands full with this one. Stank and Capslock tumble through the ropes to the floor, where the Mysterious Masked Man joins in to make it a 2 on 1 assault. Alan and Johnny are at it in the ring, so Barros calls for the bell and we’re underway. Johnny suplexes AA and drops a rolling knee to the head. AA rolls out of the way of an elbow drop and takes JA down with a leg sweep. He turns to his corner and sees no Stank. The camera pans down and Stank is on the floor near his corner, on his hands and knees bleeding. FFC and MMM are back at their corner thoroughly enjoying their handiwork. AA looks around and gets caught by a freshly-tagged in FF Capslock. Big corner splash. Running big boot and a shoulder breaker have AA in serious trouble. FF tries for the Greetings From Fresno, but AA wriggles free and pushes him into the turnbuckles. Alan hits a running knee to the head, and yells out “C’mon Baby” as he tries the bulldog follow up. FF pushes him out of it and AA crash lands on the mat. FF hits the ropes, but from the floor Stank grabs his ankles and trips him up! FF gets in Barros’ face, complaining about the trip, as MMM grabs AA from behind and puts him in a blatant choke hold. AA is fading fast, and Stank can barely contain himself. MMM tosses Alan to the mat and FF stops the argument to go back to kicking AA while he’s down. Stank fires up the crowd and they try to WILL AA to make the tag, but every time he gets close, FF pulls him back. Johnny tags in and sets up for the Adrenaline Rush DDT, but AA counter with a spine buster! He rolls to the corner and Stank gets the hot tag to end all hot tags! Razz: Now playing the role of Robert Gibson, Stank!And he does. Right hands to JA, then FF, then MMM, then FF again, then Johnny again. All three men are down and Stank grabs FF and MMM and tosses both over the ropes at once! He hoists Johnny up. Triple Power bomb! Stank calls for it, and the crowd agrees, STANK – U! AA runs interference as Barros counts 1…..2…..3! WINNERS; in 8:51; Stank & Attitude Adjuster. After the bell, AA and Stank celebrate, when FFC and MMM Pearl harbor them. Johnny joins in and we witness a brutal attack. Alan gets thrown through the announce table by MMM and Capslock. Johnny pulls out brass knuckles and lays in to Stank, re-opening his wounds from the pre-match attack. MMM grabs a monitor from the Igpay Atinlay Announceway Abletay and swings it, connecting with Alan’s head. AA slowly falls to the floor, clearly unconscious. Johnny pulls Stank to his feet and MMM connects with another monitor shot, and Stank crumbles to the floor, completely out of it. Security floods the ring side area and the three men escape through the crowd. LD WILLIAMS & THE KAI vs. CHRIS EVANS & MATT FOLZLD and Evans are set to start us off. Evans feigns a lock up, then backs into his corner smirking at LD and tags in Matt. LD tries to get Chris to re-enter the ring to no avail. We get a lock up and a furious pace start. Headlock, Irish whip, back elbow, shoulder block, hammerlock, reverse, re-reverse, re-re-reversed, belly to back suplex, headlock, head scissor. Both men pop up and circle each other, until Kai blind tags himself in. Kai hits a takedown and gets in a couple of punches before the referee can break it up. Kai pulls Folz up and doubles him over, then hits a running knee lift. Folz tags in Evans. CE and Kai lock up and we get another similar sequence as we did earlier, this one ending with Evans coming out of the head scissor with a single leg crab on Kai. Kai reaches the ropes, but does not get the clean break. Instead, Evans steps on Kai’s neck and walks to the corner to tag Folz back in. Folz grabs Kai and he tried to get to his corner and drags him back, then locks in a STF. Kai again struggles to get to the ropes, but does and again, we don’t get a clean break as Folz kicks and kicks at Kai. LD comes running in for the save, and Evans evens things out. LD and CE start brawling, and it takes several moments for the referee to get them back to their own corners. In the meantime Kia has fought his way to his feet and gotten a little momentum on Folz, dropping him with a hot shot across the top rope and then a flying forearm. Kai covers, and CE breaks it up. LD tackles Evans out of the ring and they end up on the floor Folz low blows Kai and turns around and grabs LD, who had climbed on the apron to jump off on Evans. LD and Folz trade a couple of blows, when Kai grabs Folz, spins him around, whips him across the ring and hits the REEF BOTTOM! Kai covers for 1….2….3! Evans is too late to break up the pin! WINNERS in 11:50; The Kai & LD Williams MOOSEHEADJACK vs. FIREWOMAN – Best of Seven, Match 1: Onslaught Rules“Firewoman” by the Cult plays and Firewoman makes her way to the ring, slapping hands with the Japanese fans along the way. Fire climbs to the middle turnbuckle and points to the crowd and does a ceremonial bow, and gets a huge pop from the fans. She hops off the apron and waits in the corner for her brother. “Scarecrow” by Ministry plays, and Moosehead Jack walks out and the cheers for Fire immediately turn to a deafening chorus of boos. Moose smirks at the boos and heads to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope and sitting slumped in the corner. The announcer announces that they have both waived the usual fifteen minute time limit on Onslaught rules matches, and have agreed to a 60 minute time limit. The referee calls them both to the middle of the ring for the handshake. Moose takes his sweet time getting up and slowly walks to the middle of the ring. Fire stares at him and extends her hand. Moose just glares at her. The referee yells at Moose to shake hands, but Moose ignores it. Finally the referee gives up and calls for the bell, this one is underway! The bell has barely stopped echoing through the arena, when Moose just hauls off and PUNCHES Fire right in the mouth, sending her to the mat. Moosehead Jack has used his first referee warningNot even five seconds into the match, that has to be a record. Fire pops back up and LIGHTS Moose up with chops to the chest, backing him into the corner. Fire sends Moose to the ropes and tries a back drop, but she lowers her head a moment too soon and Moose catches her with a kick to the jaw that stands her back up. Moose tries a clothesline, but Fire ducks it and grabs Moose around the waist and dumps him to the mat with a release German suplex. Moose gets to his feet and stumbles back into the corner, and Fire charges in, but Moose catches her on the jaw with a boot, then climbs up to the middle rope and catches her with an elbow to the top of the head that sends her to the mat. Moose immediately drops several knees on Fire’s perpetually damaged ribs, and covers, driving the point of his elbow into her jaw. Fire kicks out at one, but Moose holds on with an arm bar and wears Fire to the mat, threatening to rip her shoulder out of socket. Fire fights back to her feet and reverses the arm bar, wringing Moose’s arm and catching him with a crescent kick to the jaw that sends Moose to the ropes. On the rebound, Fire catches Moose with a hard forearm to the side of the head, then grabs his head and hits a CODEBREAKER. Moose staggers, and Fire hops to her feet, slips behind him and drops him with a LUNGBLOWER, then springs off the middle rope with a FIRESAULT! Fire covers, but Moose kicks out at two. Moose rolls out of the ring to the floor. Fire gets to her feet and charges at the ropes and flips over the top rope, but Moose catches her on his shoulders and POWERBOMBS her on the apron! Fire falls to the floor grabbing her ribs in pain. Moose grabs her by the hair and pulls her up and SLAMS her on the concrete floor, then climbs to the apron and hits a running elbow drop! Moose rolls Fire back into the ring and follows, covering her, but Fire kicks out at two. Moose pulls Fire up and lifts her for a suplex, then throws her at the ropes. Fire lands across the top rope, then falls into the ring grabbing her stomach and ribs in pain. Moose drops another elbow across her chest, then locks her in the ANACONDA VICE! Fire struggles and tries to hook Moose’s head with her legs and pull him into a head scissors, but she is not quite flexible enough. Fire begins to fade, but before she loses consciousness, she works her way close enough to the ropes to get her foot on the bottom strand. Firewoman has used her first rope breakMoose pulls Fire up and shoves her to the corner. He charges in with a high knee to the face, then hammers her with forearms to the side of the head. Moose sets her on the top rope, then climbs up for a superplex, but Fire blocks it, grabs Moose by the back of the head and repeatedly slams him in the face with headbutts until he falls to the mat. Moose gets right back to his feet, blood running from a cut on his nose and climbs back up, but Fire catches him with a knee to the sternum, hooks him, and hits a PEPSI PLUNGE! (top rope Pedigree) Fire covers, but now it is Moose’s turn to get his foot on the bottom rope. Moose uses his first rope breakMoose tries to roll out of the ring and makes it to the apron before Fire grabs him, pulls him back between the ropes and hits a DDT! She rolls Moose over, but Moose kicks out at two. Fire pulls her brother to his feet and sends him into the corner, then charges in and LAUNCHES herself at him, catching him with a knee to the face. Moose staggers out of the corner and Fire takes him to the mat with an enzuguri, then grabs his legs and turns him over in the WALLS OF JERICHO! Moose howls in pain as Fire drops her knee on the back of his head and threatens to break him in half. Moose grabs Fire’s ankle and knocks her leg from beneath her, sending her to the mat. At the same time, both siblings grab an ANKLE LOCK! They alternate snarling in pain with trying to make it to the ropes. The referee looks somewhat confused and keeps asking both of them if they want to submit. At the same time, they both shout “HELL NO” then get their free feet on the bottom rope. Moose and Fire have both used their second rope breakMoose rolls out of the ring and limps a little, Fire gets to her feet inside the ring, but Moose grabs her leg and pulls her to the outside. He levels her with a clothesline, then drops a knee across the inside of her knee, keeps all his weight on it and bends her leg at a disturbing angle. Fire dares him to break it, but Moose doesn’t, instead he pulls her up and rolls her back into the ring, quickly follows and grabs her leg and traps her in an Indian death lock! Moose releases the hold and tries for a figure four, but Fire grabs him in an inside cradle for a two count. Fire gets to her feet, but before she can turn around, Moose chop blocks her from behind sending her to the mat, grabbing her knee in pain. Moose grabs Fire’s leg and pulls her to the corner and leaves the ring, and repeatedly slams her knee into the ring post. The referee warns Moose, but he ignores the referee, which draws an official warning from the referee. Moosehead Jack has used his second referee warningFire drags herself to the middle of the ring and tries to stand on her leg. Moose stands over her taunting her to get up. Moose even offers her his hand, laughing and no doubt ready to clothesline her into oblivion, but Fire snarls at him and shoves him away and gets to her feet on her own. Moose charges for that clothesline, but fire ducks and as Moose rebounds off the ropes, Fire POPS him with a SUPERKICK! Fire collapses as she hits it, but Moose hits the mat hard grabbing his jaw, blood pouring from his mouth. In a moment we see why as Moose spits out a tooth. Moose pulls himself up in the corner and Fire launches herself at him, catching him with a HARD forearm to the face that rocks his head back. Fire unleashes her fury, wailing on Moose with chops to the chest and punches to the jaw. Moose is grinning like a madman the whole time, laughing and yelling for her to hit him harder. So she does. Moose is evidently tired of getting hit, so he starts hitting back. Forearms quickly turn to punches and both Quinn’s are throwing punches, which is against the Onslaught rules. The referee tries to get between them, but they ignore him, so he gives them both another warning. Firewoman gets her second referee warning, Moosehead Jack gets his third and final referee warningMoose lands a kick to Fire’s knee that staggers her, he tries another charge, but fire leaps up and catches him with a knee to the forehead that staggers him. Fire grabs Moose from behind and hits a bridging German suplex, dropping Moose right on his head. She gets a two count before Moose kicks out. Moose is a bit disoriented from the drop and Fire pulls him up and grabs him by the back of the head and slams him in the face with several headbutts, then leaps up and snaps him over in a hurracarana pinning position for a two count, Moose reverses it into a sunset flip pin for a two count of his own. Fire rolls through and hits a double drop kick to Moose’s face that slams his head onto the canvas. Fire pulls Moose up and sets him up and hits the STYLES CLASH! She rolls him over and covers, but Moose gets his foot on the bottom rope to avoid the three count. Moosehead Jack has used his third and final rope breakFire gets to her feet, limping badly. She grabs Moose’s legs and drags him toward the corner, then leaps in the air and drops a knee across his chest. Moose coughs up a little blood and looks out of it. Fire heads to the corner and calls for the BEST FIRESAULT EVER! As she climbs the ropes – a little slower than usual because of the knee – Moose gets to his feet, Fire leaps and Moose catches her, almost falling over, but regaining his balance, then hits a SIT-OUT TOMBSTONE! (the same move that nearly paralyzed Steve Austin) Moose rolls Fire over, hooks her head and leg and gets the one, two, THREE! WINNER in 37:39 – Moosehead Jack; Moose leads the Best of Seven Series 1-0 After the match Moose lies on the mat for a few minutes, then slowly gets to his feet and looks down at Fire who hasn’t moved. Paramedics come in to check on her and he stumbles to the corner and begins laughing, yelling “I KNEW IT! FIREWOMAN IS DEAD!” Fire hears this and shoves the paramedics away. She slowly gets to one knee then stands up, barely, limping on her knee and holding her neck. She walks toward the corner and flips Moose the double bird before falling to the mat and rolling under the bottom rope. She staggers up the ramp, and is met by Alexander Darling, who stares daggers into Moose. Moose slumps onto the second rope and watches Fire go, a shiteating grin on his face. POWER & GLORY vs. HOLY SPIRIT SQUAD– Number One Contenders MatchStan & Mai are out first, followed by Power, Glory, Mary Lou and Wyatt. We get Stan and Power to start, with Stan taking the early advantage over powering Power. He backs her into the ropes and hits a nice spinning clothesline. Wyatt is pounding the mat and yelling instructions. Stan connects with a power slam and then a fist drop. Mai tags in and vaults over the ropes with a senton. She lets Power get to her feet, then drops her with a Tiger Suplex. Mai maneuvers around and puts Power in the cattle mutilation. Glory runs in and stomps on Mai, breaking the hold. Stan runs in to help his partner and Wyatt jumps on the apron. The referee turns, sees this and tosses Wyatt out! Wyatt is none too happy about this, and gives us his best Earl Weaver impersonation. Mary Lou tries to argue with the referee as well, and she gets the boot too! OOWF officials come down to escort them away Stan and Mai stand and wave at a furious Wyatt, when Power and Glory hit them from behind! Power presses Mai overhead and sends her flying over the ropes to the floor! Glory and Stan trade blows, then Glory sends him into the ropes, where Power pulls the top rope down and Stan tumbles to the floor, landing on his partner! The twins then hit double running planchas on the HSS! Bodies are strewn seemingly everywhere! Glory sends Mai into the ring post. Power rolls Stan onto the Grenadine Announce Table and DDTs him through it. Mai ducks a charging Glory and sends her into the debris. She tries to pull Stan up, but is distracted by the bell ringing. Apparently, the referee never stopped counting. Decision; in 7:54, Double Countout. TEXPRESS vs. BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE – Non-Title MatchBill and Zane get us started, and Zane overpowers AB in the early going. Typical Zane Myers. Press Slam, Vertical Suplex. Big Boot. Slingshot Suplex. He sends Bill into the ropes and Bill comes flying off with a shoulder block. Zane staggers and Bill head butts him. Zane falls back into his corner and tags in Chad. Chad leaps over the ropes and goes at Bill, running right into a body slam and then Bill bulldogs him to the mat. Justin tags in and leaps over the ropes, tripping and falling to the mat hard. Chad pulls him up and arm drags him across the ring, then follows up with a dropkick. Chad backs JS into the corner and chops him a couple of times. Justin stumbles out of the corner and gets belly to belly suplexed. He lands and rolls to his corner where Bill tags back in. Chad swings, but Bill ducks and drops Chad with a nice neck breaker. He slams Chad once, then leg drops him across the chest. Justin tags in and DDTs CM to the mat. Chad crawls to the corner, but JS drags him back and latches on an ankle lock! Chad struggles to the ropes and gets the break, then leg sweeps JS and tags Zane in. Justin greets him with a right hand, but Zane shakes it off easily and spine busters him. Justin crawls between ZM’s legs and tags Bill in. The Awesome one runs in and catches Zane with a knee strike, then a dragon suplex. Zane tries to get to his feet, but Bill takes out his knees and goes for a sharpshooter. Zane drags himself to the ropes and gets to his feet. Bill tries a suplex, but Zane blocks it and hoists AB into the Torture Rack! Ellie Mae then pulls out an envelope, and shows Zane pictures of his and Chad’s naked brawl with Gay for Pay! Zane drops Bill and leans over the ropes to talk to Ellie Mae, when Bill stands up and grabs Zane from behind, DIRTY BIRD! Justin cuts Chad off and the referee counts 1…..2…..3! WINNERS, in 9:57; Banned From Everywhere! Zane is LIVID at Ellie Mae and Chad is doing his best to calm him down in the ring, while BFE celebrates in the crowd with some Pine Cone Party Saki. Suddenly, GM Selena is on the stage with a microphone. GM Selena al-Takriti: Seeing how we did not crown a number one contender earlier, and now the champions just got beat, I am announcing a special 4-way match for Judgment Eve 8 this Sunday, featuring Power & Glory, The Holy Spirit Squad, Banned From Everywhere and The Texpress. The Match is called Ultimate Endurance. 3 separate falls, each with a different stipulation. And it will be for the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Ellie Mae is excited, but Justin and Bill haven’t paid attention to a word Selena said, as they are deep in the crowd drinking. Chad and Zane eye the GM suspiciously. On the OOTron, Wyatt is seen in the back applauding, and on a split screen we seen Stan and Mai nodding their approval. GHOSTHEAD vs. COMRADE SHARKOFF vs. RICKY SOARING EAGLE – Onslaught Championship MatchAs Ghosthead makes his way to the ring, Ricky nails Comrade from behind and begins to lay into him with all his might. Ghost hits the ring, but doesn’t get involved right away. He backs up and watches as RSE pulls Sharkoff up and delivers a nasty big boot. CS hits the mat hard. Ricky turns around and Ghosthead leaps up and hits the Phantasmagoria! He cinches the triangle choke in the middle of the ring and RSE appears to be in BIG trouble here. Ricky tries to dead lift GH into a power bomb, but fails and drops back to his knees and starts to fade. Suddenly, Comrade is up and clocks RSE in the back of the head with his “allegedly” loaded boot! Eagle collapses to the mat and GH rolls him over for a 1…2…3! Ricky Soaring Eagle Has Been Eliminated Ghost pops up quickly as CS tries to nail him with the kick as well. GH grabs Comrade’s foot and takes him to the mat, then snares him in a cross-face. CS Uses his first rope break and drives GH into the corner for a couple of shoulder drives. He backs up and looks like he wants to hit the Sickle, but GH is ready for it and CS eats both of Ghost’s boots as he charged in. Ghost hits an enziguri and a springboard moonsault for a close 2 count. Sharkoff catches a body press and hits a fall away slam. CS nails a Russian Leg Sweep then traps Ghost in a bear hug and Ghost uses his first rope break. Sharkoff drops him, then belly to belly suplexes GH for a 2 count. Sharkoff stalks GH, calling for the Sickle. He charges, but GH ducks. CS puts on the brakes, turns around right into a Phantasmagoria! Sharkoff fights hard, but with nowhere to go, he taps out. Winner; in 12:50, Ghosthead. RABBIT MASK vs. DANNY TAYLOR – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchDanny takes the fight right to Rabbit at the bell. They trade blows back and forth, ending up with RM backed in a corner trying to fight his way out. Rabbit ducks between the ropes, forcing DDT to back up. RM snaps off a kick to the gut and hits an Impaler DDT on Danny. RM backs up and as Taylor gets to his feet, lets loose with a number of Tajiri-like kicks to the head. RM goes to the middle turnbuckle and hits a Bret Hart elbow. Danny drags himself up, only for Rabbit to superkick him in the face and DDT stumbles back into the corner, slumping on the ropes. RM advances, but Danny plays possum and reaches out and nails him with an elbow strike. Then it is Danny throwing punch after punch to RM’s head, then whipping him into the ropes for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Danny drops an elbow and then goes for the Fujiwara arm bar. He struggles with it, as RM is squirming his way closer to the ropes. Danny lets up, hits an inverted atomic drop, followed with a gut wrench suplex. Rabbit is slow getting up, and Danny backs into a corner and spears him through the ropes as RM gets to his feet. They fall to the floor, and RM ends up on top of Danny, and uses that to rake the eyes and untangle himself from DDT. RM hits a X-Pac Face Buster on the floor and rolls himself back in the ring. As the referee starts his count, RM is on his back breathing heavily. Danny gets to his feet at 6 and is back in the ring by 9 to break the count. Both men are slow to their feet. Danny tries a suplex, and RM blocks it, then snaps off one of his own. RM pops up and tries Head Drop #2, but Danny grabs the ropes as RM lifts to block the move. Danny elbows his way out of RM’s grip and uses a knee lift to gain the upper hand. T Bone Suplex, then another, then a third and he calls for the Dynamite Drop! Danny bends down to pull Rabbit to his feet, but RM SPEWS THE WHITE MIST IN HIS FACE! Danny collapses immediately, and the referee calls for the bell. WINNER; in 14:53; via Disqualification; Danny Taylor Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF Judgment Eve 8 August 25th Live! From Tokyo, Japan. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! August 29 th, Live! From Chilliwiack, Vancouver, British Columbia See something you like? Post it here in the 2012 Awards Reminder Thread For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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