OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (08/29) Live! From Chilliwiack

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Chilliwiack, British Columbia

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Texpress vs. Johnny Adrenaline & FF Capslock

Non-Title Match[/u]
Chris Evans vs. Matt Folz

Best of Seven Series - Match 3: TLC[/u]
Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman (Moose leads 2-0)

Danny Taylor & The Kai vs. Rabbit Mask & Ghosthead
The Darling Twins vs. Power & Glory vs. Holy Spirit Squad
Banned From Everywhere vs. Stank & Attitude Adjuster
Ricky Soaring Eagle vs. Comrade Sharkoff
LD Williams vs. Eric O'Mac


Card subject to Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen showing up. Also, remember, we are flying from Japan to British Columbia, everyone is on the plane

[BookerShark]

At the Beppo Medical Center, Fire is LAYING~! on a gurney. Various doctors or physician assistants are giving her stitches in many, many places. There's an IV, and a couple of doctors looking at an x-ray display. One has her knee, the other her ribs, and consulting with Lucky.

Dr.1: Those ribs...have they ever healed?

L: Not all the way. She won't take a vacation.

Dr.2: Well, she keeps it up, that's going to be more than just an inconvenience.

L: I know....what about the knee.

Dr.1: *shaking his head* It's a mess. It's not broken or anything but those ligaments are stretched almost beyond the point of no return.

Dr.2: She's going to need surgery. If not now, then soon.

L: Okay, docs...thanks.

The physician's assistands are done and leave, followed by the two doctors, leaving Lucky and Fire alone.

L: Are you happy now?

FW: Yeah....I dunno what that stuff is but it's AWESOME.....

L: I'm not talking about your pain management. I'm talking about the match.

FW: No, I'm not happy, Lucky. I lost. That fucker's got two up on me now.

Lucky shakes his head, exhasperated. He paces away, and when he turns around, notices Fire....standing up?

L: What the hell are you doing?

FW: Um..ripping my IV out.

L: Wait...why? Fire, lay back down.

FW: I want to go home. I want to see--

L: He's on his way...probably...look, lay down.

Fire figures it out through her opium-induced haze, and yanks the IV out. Predictably, blood starts spurting from the hole.

FW: Oh....ick....

Fire immediately passes out. Lucky catches her, then picks her up and puts her back on the cot, then pushes the 'call nurse' button and finds some gauze to apply direct pressure. Fire comes to.

FW: What?

L: You pulled your IV out and fainted.

FW: That doesn't sound like me.

L: Yes it does. Now just lay there.

FW: *still not quite conscious* You all were right.

L: About?

FW: Moose....He's ... maybe I should just....

But before she can finish, Fire drifts off to sleep, the pain meds kicking in a bit more. Lucky checks to make sure she's truly out and not going to try to leave again, sighs, and goes outside to await Alex's arrival, or the OOWF travel arrangements, or whatever is next.

[BookerShark]

<a Japanese Wrestling Reporter stops Moose as he limps out of the hospital>

JWR: Mr. Jack, your match with Firewoman......

MHJ: Lisa Darling

JWR: ......Lisa Darling, was especially violent. Many believed that both of you would be in the hospital for days, if not weeks, and yet, here you both are walking out just hours after your match

MHJ: Both?

JWR: Yes. Mrs. Darling is being released at that exit over there

<Moose looks over and sees Lucky pushing Fire in a wheelchair, shouting instructions at everyone around them to give her space. Alex and Alexis are both there as well, and they usher her to the limo waiting to take her to the Beppo air port and the waiting OOWF jet to Canada.>

MHJ: <shaking his head, then wincing a bit from the pain> Can you fucking believe that? She is that big a prima donna that she needs a goddamn entourage to go from the hospital to a fucking waiting LIMO. I can SEE the airport from here!

JWR: Wrestling fans want to know.......

MHJ: You know, for a second there, I thought she got it. When she came up out of the water with HDB <Moose gets a glint in his eyes> THAT for a second, THAT was Firewoman. That was epic. That was the shit that haunts men's dreams. I thought just maybe, Firewoman was still there, I thought I had brought my sister back from the dead. But that <gesturing to the limo where hospital workers help gently put her in the car> That is not Firewoman, that is Lisa fucking Darling........again

JWR: What about you? What about your injuries?

MHJ: <smirking> Broken ribs, possible concussion, too many cuts to waste time stitching. The usual

<Moose turns and walks away from the reporter, heading in the opposite direction of the airport>

JWR: Mr. Jack.......the airport is that way.....

MHJ: Yeah I know. It's seven hours to Tokyo, so the rest of the crew probably won't be here until late tonight. Flight to Vancouver leaves at six AM. Until then, there is a bar down the road that has my name on it.

<Moose turns and wanders off in the direction of the seedy part of town>

[BookerShark]

(A strangely silent locker room as Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the twins prepare everything for the trip to Chilliwiack .)

Mary Lou: I'm sorry, you were right. It wasn't meant to be.

Wyatt: Of course, what am I supposed to do, tell the girls they haven't got a chance? I have to keep optimistic. They're making huge strides, but these others have been doing this for years.

Edra: I know Dad., We did our best.

Clio: But did it have to be Stan and Mai?

Wyatt: Of course it did, honey. The aggrieved pair who abandoned us and then claim that we turned on them. I never said they weren't good. They're all good. But you two have the potential to be so much better. We just need to work harder.

Mary Lou: And smarter. We need to hit the tape room harder, smooth out the rough spots. Soon, you'll be the best in the world.

(Wyatt looks lovingly at Mary Lou and the twins are smiling. Wyatt turns to the camera)

Wyatt: Mr Darling, you're right. You may remember some time back when these two got their first title match, I said they weren't ready. You said I was making excuses. I was stating a fact. But with every match they learn, they grow, they expand their knowledge. You call you and your sister teachers. Bring the lessons, because Power and Glory are always ready to learn, even from such a vile family as the Darlings. Power and Glory are an infinitely better team than they were the first time they stepped in the ring with you and your wife. You call them overconfident and brash, but the fact of the matter is that they have more talent than you or anyone will give them credit for. Your wife learned what overconfidence will get you in the ring with Power and Glory, didn't she? Now that she's badly banged up by Moose, I wonder how much of your head will really be in this match? It was the Darlings that brought us to this point. Now we're here, and it's time to light it up.

Wyatt: Stan and Mai, congratulations. You made it to the final fall. You eliminated the twins. Good job. But Texpress eventually eliminated you too, didn't they? Hopefully this battle of ours will come to an end sooner, rather than later. I wish you the best Wednesday against the Darlings. And that comes from the heart. Because while we might be on opposite sides, there's nothing that would please me more to see Stan put Alex out with that Black Cut Slam.

Wyatt: Wednesday night, live on Midweek Mayhem, Holy Spirit Squad, Darlings, be prepared to experience.

Edra: Power

Clio: Glory

Mary Lou: And Pain.

Wyatt: And may God have mercy on your immortal souls. Because these two won't. Trust me.

Mary Lou: Let's go.


(The family finishes packing as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

<Moose is sitting on the plane trying to get some sleep when LD and Stank sit down on either side of him>

S: You can’t keep doing this. It’s only the second match, and look at you, broken ribs, a concussion. You are never going to make it to the end

LD: I am sure you proved whatever point it was you were trying to prove, why keep going on?

MHJ: Will you two stop worrying. Beside, it is over anyway

S: That was only the second match

MHJ: And I know what I need to know. <somewhat sadly> Firewoman is dead. I am not facing Firewoman, I am facing Lisa Darling. I am better than Lisa Darling. I will win the next two matches, then we move on

S: Jack, I don’t think……

MHJ: <getting angry> You can not think all you want Lucas. I saw. I was THERE in the ring. <Moose looks at LD and Stank> You two ran with her in the Five. Are you going to sit here and tell me that that is the same person? Are you going to tell me THAT is Firewoman? It’s not. She is dead. The Firewoman I knew is dead. She is now Lisa Darling. That is what she wants, that is what she wants to be, so be it. I thought maybe I could bring her back around, remind her of what she was, but it’s no use. If she couldn’t muster up the fight in Blood Pond, then she isn’t going to at all.

LD: We all change Jack

MHJ: Not always for the better

S: If she is happy now……..

MHJ: Good for her. Cause lord knows all that matters is that Lisa is happy. Maybe we should rename it the Make Lisa Happy Wrestling Federation. Maybe we should just lay down and do the job for her, whatever, as long as SHE is happy. Maybe we should all just go up and give her a great big fucking group hug, just so SHE is happy. Or maybe she already has someone in her entourage that does that for her.

<Moose gets up and heads for the bar, leaving LD and Stank shaking their heads>

[BookerShark]

PAN to the back of the plane to see Mai Muyo reading the SkyMall catalog. She’s sitting next to Stan Fulton who is sound asleep. Chad Madison is sitting across the aisle and he turns towards Mai.

CM: “Great match last night, Mai. You and Stan really brought your hammers.”

MM: “No, no, no! We never cheated. I promise! If you got hit with a hammer, it wasn’t from Stan or me.”

CM: “That’s not what I meant. Damn, that catchphrase is taking a while to catch on.”

MM: “I don’t get it.”

CM: “Nevermind. Stan must be really tired.”

MM: “No.”

CM: “So why is he sleeping then?”

The flashback sequence FADE swirls and we FADE back in somewhere in Tokyo.

Chris Evans is there. For some reason he’s got white hair, is smoking a cigar and wearing a khaki jacket, black pants and black gloves. Matt Folz is in a sport coat, ascot and perfectly coiffed hair.

Mai Muyo is there as well, dressed normally for a Westerner. Which being Asian is different. Stan Fulton is facing the rest of the group. He is wearing an inordinate amount of gold jewelry, earrings with feathers and now has a African Mandinka warrior hairstyle. Behind him is a black van with a red stripe down the side.

SF: “I tell ya, Evans. I ain’t getting on no plane.”

CE: “No problem, Crusher. We’ll find another way to get to Canada. Folzman? Any ideas?”

MF: “I might be able to scrounge up a boat, but that’s going to take some time and we have a job to do on Wednesday night.”

CE: “Mai, contact your reporter buddies and see if you can find out any more information on our job.”

MM: “You got it, Evans.”

Evans comes over to Fulton, puts his arm around him and they start to walk away from the others.

SF: “I pity the foo’ who tries to put me on a plane, Evans. Especially with that crazy fool.”

CE: “Don’t worry, B.A... uh, Crusher. We’ll figure out another way.”

Evans looks over Crusher’s shoulder and see’s Awesome Bill From Dawsonville who is wearing a beat-up leather jacket, plaid shirt and plain baseball cap. Bill comes up and sticks a syringe into Crusher’s neck and pushes down on the plunger.

SF: “Wha... uh...”

Fulton topples over.

CE: (to ABFD) “What did you use?”

ABFD: “Some Pine Cone Party Likker. Isn’t that right, Justin?”

Bill is talking to his invisible dog.

ABFD: “Justin’s such a good boy, ain’t he, Colonel?”

CE: “That he is, Captain. Let’s get Crusher on the plane and get to Canada. I love it when a plan comes together!”

SWIRL FADE back to the plane. Chad looks at Mai with what can only be described as utter confusion.

MM: “And that’s why Stan’s still out. One shot of PCPL was enough to knock him out cold.”

CM: “Uh, sure. Well, again, great match last night.”

MM: “Thanks!”

Chad turns to Zane, who’s sitting next to him.

CM: “I think Mai might be crazier than Justin and Bill put together.”

ZM: “You’re just realizing this now?”

FADE

[BookerShark]

Alexis and Alexander Darling, Lucky, and Firewoman are SITTING~! in a different part of the plane...VERY FAR REMOVED, from Stank, Moosehead Jack, and LD Williams. Alexander is trying to sleep, Lucky is doing some paperwork. Both of them are alternating checking on Firewoman who appears fine, with some ice on her knee, and a vacant look in her eyes that she sometimes gets from flying. Or is it something else? Alexis is watching OOWF-TV and catches Moose's last two promos.

LD: What an ass. The hospital wouldn't let her go without a wheelchair. It was a three-hour argument to get her into it.

AD: *Eyes closed* Let it go, Lexie.

LD: And ........how does he even get off saying that he is oh so much better? "Couldn't muster up the fight?" Seriously, Lis' when I saw you rise out of the water with Happy Deth Bat...if Selena doesn't put that on a poster, she's crazy.

L: She is crazy.

FW: I ... don't remember that.

L: No? After he threw you into the lake? I think I held my breath the whole time. I swear, that man...Fire is still just as good as she ever was...BETTER even. So what if she doesn't fly off half-cocked anymore. That's made her a better wrestler.

AD: *glancing at Fire* Lexie...let's just get some rest okay? It's a long flight. *he takes Fire's hand, and speaks softly to her* Try and get some sleep, okay?

Fire barely nods, as Alex turns back to his seat and closes his eyes. Fire just stares straight ahead.

LD: He's just jealous he's got no one to pick him up. He's got NO ONE. Even his so-called friends are on Fire's side. I wish one of the many people who had tried to put him out of his misery had succeeded.

L: Alexis...

FW: I don't remember anything after the water.

LD: Well, someday someone will come along and out-Moosehead Jack him. There's gotta be one person out there.

Alexis shuts her i-Pad off and settles in for sleep, as does Lucky. Firewoman stares kind of straight ahead, but not really.

FW: Gotta be one.....

[BookerShark]

*Back toward where LD and Stank sit we catch them mid conversation.*

Stank - He just doesn't know how. It's all he's ever known.

LDW - So why did Lisa turn out so different?

Stank - I'm not certain... she has.

LDW - Hmmm

Stank - I mean she hides it well plus...

LDW - Alex.

Stank - Yeah... she has Alex... and others who help her along the way.

LDW - And medication.

Stank - Right.

LDW -

Stank - She's learned to.. enjoy... being happy.

LDW - She doesn't mind that it makes her complacent.

Stank - Say what now?

LDW - I mean that's Moose's point isn't it? Her... being a Quinn and all... trying to be someone else, trying to change who she is... makes her...

Stank - Weak???

LDW - No! ... just... not as... effective a wrestler. It might work for other people. For her... it just doesn't work as well.

Stank - She became a Grand Slam Champion wrestling effectively.

LDW - Yeah... and that was great, but she had help. Her singles career HAS floundered. You have to admit Lucas, Jack has a point about how she was with us, and The Five, and how she is now.

Stank - I know and it used to bother me.

LDW - Used to?

Stank - It's her life Billy Dee. She chooses to live it... and she's happy. I can't begrudge her that just because I don't like who she's happy with.

LDW - Now imagine it was your brother and some woman you didn't-

Stank - *Interrupting* I don't have to imagine that because it WAS my brother years ago. He got hooked up with Megumi and a fucking Yakuza war. I fought tooth and nail to get him out that mess... to change him... it didn't work and there wasn't peace between us until I accepted that... he was a grown ass man and Meg... for better or worse... made him happy. If it wasn't for my nephew being born... Jared might be dead... and me along with him truth be told... though I didn't know it at the time.

LDW - But you fought... same as Moose.

Stank - Well that's why I'm staying out of this for the most part... Some lessons one has to learn on their own. I just hope they survive the process.

LDW - The way Moose tells it you'd think he has this in the bag.

Stank - You don't... You don't actually believe that do you?

LDW - Not really.

Stank - Hmmph.

LDW - Not because I think Lisa Darling will find a way.

Stank - No... it's because Moose just might get his wish.

LDW - What's that they say about being careful what you wish for?

Stank -

LDW -

Stank - I didn't think it would happen until I saw her come out of that water with the bat... She better not kill Moose, or I'll...

LDW - You wouldn't.

Stank - I would... Trust me.

LDW - Cute. You have your own issues to deal with by the way.

Stank - Gotdamn Alan is such a fucking lightweight. It's been two weeks and he's STILL fucked up from drinking that Pine Cone Party Likker.

LDW - You mean... he hasn't had any SINCE then?

Stank - Fuck no. I've instructed Justin NOT to let Alan drink another drop.

LDW -

Stank -

LDW -

Stank - Yeah not the wisest course of action when I think about it now that I've said it out loud.

Fade

[BookerShark]

(Mary Lou and Wyatt are aboard the OOWF charter to Chilliwiack while the twins are back with the SFJ's laughing and having a good time. Mary Lou is trying to take a nap while Wyatt rewatches the twins last one-on-one match with the Holy Spirit Squad. He is obviously frustrated and slams the tablet down on the tray table..where both shatter and wake up Mary Lou.)

Mary Lou: Congratulations. You win by demolition.

Wyatt: Very funny. I can't figure it out. It's like the girls have hit a brick wall. Their focus is about right, the moves are sharp, but it's...there's something just not right.

Mary Lou: Ever since we left the states, they've not been totally themselves.

Wyatt: You notice it, too.

Mary Lou: There's got to be something we can do.

Wyatt: Kate Bannister.

Mary Lou: The woman on the tape? The one you trained?

Wyatt: One of many. Six months in she hit this same thing. Hella progress, then it just...stopped. Dead.

Mary Lou: I'll put in a call to her when we get to Chilliwiack. Couldn't hurt.

Wyatt: I wish I could remember. Damn Ned.

Mary Lou: The headaches are back?

Wyatt: Intense. I haven't hurt like this in years.

Mary Lou: We'll figure something out.

(Just then, the SFJ from earlier comes up to Wyatt and Mary Lou.)

SFJ: I hate to bother you.

Wyatt: No interviews right now, please.

SFJ: Oh, this isn't business. You see, we're having a little get together when we get to Chilliwiack, and Edra and Clio would like to come, but....

Mary Lou: They're too busy to...

Wyatt: Wait a second.

(Wyatt takes an extended pause, as if a scene is replaying itself in his mind)

Wyatt: What are you going to be doing?

SFJ: Oh, just hanging out, listening to music, you know. Girl stuff.

Wyatt: Yeah, sure, why not. Just tell them not to stay out too late.

SFJ: Gee, thanks Mr Cox

Wyatt: You're welcome, Miss...

SFJ: My name's Sunaina, but everyone calls me Sunny.

Wyatt: Sunny. Great, you and the girls have fun.

(SFJ Sunny runs back to where the SFJ's are and we hear an “EEEEEEEEEE” from the twins.)

Mary Lou: Are you crazy, those girls...

Wyatt: ...need to blow off some steam. What have they not had since we left the states.

Mary Lou: A win.

Wyatt: I know, but what ELSE haven't they had.

Mary Lou: A day off?

Wyatt: For five weeks they've been without their beds, their stereos, their friends back in Ely, and I've done nothing but pushed them. No wonder they're not winning. All work and no play. Like Kate. She started this after a nasty breakup with her boyfriend. She threw herself into this, gave it everything, then six months after her first match, BAM. Nothing.

Mary Lou: What happened?

Wyatt: The other women on the roster took her out, hired a male stripper, and they all had a blast. And Kate got back on the winning track. She could have been another Beth, but...well, fate intervened.

Mary Lou: Injury?

Wyatt: Broken arm. She was out for three months when she told me she wasn't coming back.

Mary Lou: Burned out?

Wyatt: New boyfriend. Bun in the oven. Marriage. Oops.

Mary Lou: Well, at least that's one problem you won't have to worry about with those two.

Wyatt: Well, let's hope. I don't really want to be a grandpa...yet.

Mary Lou: To be honest, you and I need some alone time, too.

Wyatt: I was just thinking the same thing.

Mary Lou: Dinner and dancing?

Wyatt: You read my mind.

Mary Lou: Sorry I've been a bit of a bitch lately.

Wyatt: This business does that to you if you don't keep it at arms length. Anyway, you had the twins best interests at heart.

Mary Lou: I just wish we could sleep in our own bed again.

Wyatt: Our bed. I still like the sound of that. With you it all seems so right. I feel so comfortable with you.

Mary Lou: I guess I'm the one good thing the Darlings did for you.

Wyatt: Nonsense. The Darlings gave you pain. I just found a way to make it better.

Mary Lou: For now, let's turn out these lights and cuddle.

Wyatt: That sound like a plan.

(Mary Lou kisses Wyatt and puts up her tray table and turns out the light. Wyatt puts up what's left of his tray table and brushes the debris off his lap as we....

Fade to Tuesday morning in Chilliwiack. Wyatt, Mary Lou and the girls have gone out before dawn.)

Mary Lou:Why are we up so early, Dear?

Wyatt: Well, you said part of the reason we may be off kilter is that we miss home.

Mary Lou:Yeah, and?

(The scene changes to one of familiarity as the sun crests the mountains)



Edra and Clio: Cool.

Wyatt:Not quite Squaw Peak, but it'll do

(Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the twins bathe in the morning sunlight as we....)

FADE

[BookerShark]

We come up in a very empty Destroyatorium. Victor sits alone at the bar staring up at Danny's newly re won Intercontinental belt. Shotglass walks over and hops up onto the stool next to him. Vic starts absentmindedly petting him and talking out loud to himself.

Vic: There was a time that after a title win, this place would have been rocking. Jack telling stories of the good old days, Lobo talking to that voice only he could hear, the girls dancing, Danny making sure everyone was having a good time. People stopping by to congratulate him, get a beer, have some fun.

He looks down at Shotglass.

Vic: And not just the wrestlers, the sfj's the ring crew, the inc's, the sound guys, caterers, you name it, everyone came by for some fun. But now....they can feel it in the the air this place is dying one day at a time and no one seems to want to be around to go down with it when it falls.

Shotglass looks up at him and let's out a whimper.

Vic: Yeah, maybe I'm just being to melancholy for my own good.

At this point the door swings open and The Kai strides into the room. Vic jumps up, looks around and realises he is alone with no weapons handy. His shoulders slump.

Vic: (letting out a sigh) If you are here to kick my ass, at least make it quick.

The Kai looks around confused.

Kai: Why would The Kai be here to kick your candy ass?

Vic: You do have a history of it.

Kai: The Kai has no such thing.

Vic: (Counting off his following on his fingers) You ambushed us in here prior to your first tag title match, you attacked me as a night marcher, you beat me up multiple times when you where with the new guard.

Kai: (raising an eyebrow) Okay, so The Kai does have a history of that, but in The Kai's defense, most of that was because of Noelani. Besides The Kai is not here for that.

Vic: If you are looking to attack Danny to get an IC title shot, get in line.

Kai: If The Kai wanted an IC shot, he would just ask for one, no, The Kai is here because this week he teams with your bra and The Kai wanted to talk strategy to guarantee a win for the millions (and millions) of The Kai's fans.

Vic: (looking like he is not sure if Kai is telling the truth) Well, Danny is out with the girls right now, but he will be back in a couple of hours, check then.

Kai: The Kai will do that.

With that the Kai starts to leave, then stops at the door, and then turns around and makes eye contact with Vic.

Kai: The Kai is not good at this, but......The Kai is sorry for what happened with Jack...that was not what The Kai wanted.

Vic: I wish I could believe you.

The Kai turns and leaves, and the camera momentarily focuses on DVD who's eyes never leave the door as we

FADE

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad and Zane are seated back in coach, keeping away from any craziness (This is the OOWF you know...) Zane opens his laptop and takes a drink of Aquafina~~~

Chad: I don't care what announcer guy says, I hate sitting back here.

Zane: There are no distractions back here. There are no fights, no bickering, and no interruptions. We do have prep to do. Short week. Team we haven't faced before.

Chad: Two guys straight out of the retirement home.

Zane: Two guys who just won a PPV match. AND they have a Mysterious Masked Manager

Chad: I'd rather sleep.

Zane: I'd rather be prepared. Plus, when we land, Bridgette will have the bus there and we can go out and eat

Chad: And hit the clubs?

Zane: Depends

Chad: On?

Zane: How much work we get done here.

Chad: Well then what are we waiting for?

~~~ Chad puts his Samsung Phone away and they get to work. ~~~

[BookerShark]

An Invisible Ninja Cameraman finds his way into GM Selena’s office, where a humbled Attitude Adjuster sits at Selena’s desk.

GMS: Do you know why I called you in here?

AA: Yes.

GMS: And why is that?

AA (in a whisper): Because I haven’t promo-ed.

GMS: What?

AA (barely louder): Because I haven’t promo-ed.

GMS: I still can’t hear you!

AA: Because I haven’t promo-ed. I know. I know! I’ve been busy!

GMS: What is it they call you here?

AA: The Promo King of the OOWF.

GMS: What?

AA: Come on, isn’t that enough of the Stone Cold chant angle thingy?

GMS: Focus! And you will not break the Fourth Wall around me! I need you to promo. We created this huge angle for you and Stank, and hired back all your Promo Clique Friends, including that idiot under the mask, who you won’t tell me who it is so each week I have to write a check to “The Masked Man.” The OOWF accountants do not like dealing with that during tax season!

AA: At least none of them live in Parts Unknown.

GMS: No funny stuff from you! I’ve mad at you! (Although that was pretty funny.)

AA: It was, wasn’t it?

GMS: No funny stuff! Now then, what are we going to do about this? I need you to promo! I need your friends to promo! It’s like bring back Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, except they don’t eat up 20 minutes of air time! What are you going to do about this?!?

AA: I don’t know. We’re all kinda busy, and we have other business ventures (SIXTH YEAR SENIORS! FLAWEDCAST.NET!)...

GMS: You are not going to self promote around here without promo-ing about the OOWF first!

AA: I just did. See? Right up there?

GMS: No breaking the Fourth Wall! You either start doing promos, or...or...

AA (suddenly indignant): Or what? You’ll have us simultaneously pin each other in a Loser Leaves Town Match? Huh? What? Already been done? You know why? Because we did it! That’s right. The Promo Clique already did that. And so many other things that your little pea-brain couldn’t think of. This guy over there (pointing to the INC)? I made him. I spent a week with the original INC before an Intercontinental Championship match against Blackdragon. And what did I get for that? Nothing. I did the J-O-B in that match. And did I bitch? No! Because that’s the way the Promo Clique rolls. Let me run this down for you. Gimmick of the Year--twice, Catchphrase of the Year—twice, Promo of the Year four times (and jobbed out of twice more), Feud of the Year—twice, Match of the Year—twice, Heel of the Year—twice, Tag Team of the Year—twice (and Drink & Destroy never got their due), Angle of the Year—twice, and Wrestler of the Year three times. Hell, we invented the Non-Player Character and you had to make an award for that.

Ric Flair: WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

GMS: Do you know that all off the top of your head?

AA: No. I had to look it up here. (http://www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=25622)

GMS: Fourth Wall! Fourth Wall!

AA: You asked.

GMS: No!

Daniel Bryan: No! No!

Ron Simmons: Damn.

GMS: I just want this fixed! I want it fixed and I want it fixed now!

AA: OK, look, I have an idea.

GMS: Already? Just while you’ve been sitting here?

AA: No. It actually came to me a couple days ago, but then I had to figure out how to present it, then had to write this promo and...

GMS: FOURTH WALL!!!!

AA: OK, OK, I get it. You’re big into kayfabe. In that case, get the INC out of here and I’ll tell you the plan.

(AA and GMS sit in silence. Nothing happens.)

AA: INC?

INC: Yeah?

AA: Can you open and close the door when you leave?

INC: For you, anything. I’ve had a long career here because of you. Thanks, man.

(The office door opens and closes, and surprisingly, the camera shot follows. Standing outside, we see Stank, FF Capslock, Johnny Adrenaline and The Masked Man—unmasked! But unfortunately the INC has the camera turned toward the ground.)

INC: I thought The Masked Man was you!

TMM: Shhh. No names. Keep it on the down-low, OK?

INC: No problem, man. Glad to see you’re working here again. How you doing?

TMM: I got a sweet deal. Got a big percentage of the profits from Texpress merchandise. Boy, are they going to be mad when they find out at the end of this quarter.

Twenty minutes later, AA walks out of GM Selena’s office.

Stank: Are we good?

AA: Every last bit of it.

FFC: Johnny and I are taken care of?

AA: Yep. And Chr…err…The Masked Man, too.

FFC: I love you, man!

Selena opens the door to see The Promo Clique in a group hug.

GMS: All of you! Out! Now! And put your mask on, dammit! Kayfabe, please!

[BookerShark]

(It's Tuesday Evening and we catch up with the family leaving Mr Mikes Steakhouse arm in arm enjoying a cool Canadian evening when SFJ Sunny catches up to them. The girls run up to her and give her an affectionate greeting as she approaches Wyatt.)

Wyatt:[/i] Sunny, how nice to see you again!

SFJSunny:[/i] Likewise, hello Mary Lou.

Mary Lou:[/i] Are you out for the evening?

SFJSunny:[/i] No, just trying to get a little work done, have you all got a moment?

Mary Lou:[/i] We promised the girls the rest of the night...

Edra:[/i] Oh, please, it's for Sunny. She's cool.

Clio:[/i] Totally. The bomb!

SFJSunny:[/i] (Blushing) I hate to impose, but it'll just take a minute.

Wyatt:[/i] Only if you'll go with us. I can't keep up with the girls.

Mary Lou:[/i] And I'd rather stay with Wyatt, no offense girls.

Edra & Clio:[/i] (Lovestruck) We know...

SFJSunny:[/i] Great, let's do this.

(An old school banner drops out of nowhere on Luckakuck Way as a microphone appears in Sunny's hand)

SFJSunny:[/i] Tomorrow night, Midweek Mayhem, a three way tag team match as the Darling Twins and the Holy Spirit Squad face off against my opponents at this time, Power and Glory, and their manager and father, Wyatt Cox

Wyatt:[/i] Thank you, Sunny. Now our friends at home might be wondering why, with all the problems Power and Glory have had in getting a win lately, why we're out on the town. Well, we spent some time in the gym today, some tape time, some Focus room time, but we're doing what we really never took time to do while we were in Japan. Rest, relax, and recharge. We've done some serious positive work today, now it's time to release the energy and have a good time.

SFJSunny:[/i] Given the way your last encounters have gone with the Holy Spirit Squad, how do you think this will go down.

Wyatt:[/i] So far Stan and Mai have gotten the better of the girls, but tomorrow night the focus is not on Stan and Mai. In fact, I'm encouraging the girls to work closely with Stan and Mai in their match.

SFJSunny:[/i] Work with your opponents, why?

Wyatt:[/i] Because tomorrow night there's a bigger enemy at hand. The original Incest Twins, Alex and Alexis Darling. Since I began my campaign to get Power and Glory in the OOWF through Alex's wife, Alex has threatened me. Since Power and Glory became a part of the OOWF, Alexis has done her part to stick her nose in our lives by threatening me and disrupting my wedding to the lovely Mary Lou Merry. Who, as history documents, was viciously assaulted and slandered by Mr Darling's wife. It is, really, the one thing that I'm grateful for.

SFJSunny:[/i] Personal issues aside, how do you view this match.

Wyatt:[/i] I view this match as a chance for a serious learning experience for both ourselves and the Darlings.

SFJSunny:[/i] How So?

Wyatt:[/i] You see, we know Stan and Mai, but this is our first time in the ring with Alexis, so this will be a learning experience for all of us. And you see, Alexander Darling has said the girls are good, but not good enough. Maybe you're right Alex. But I promise you this. You're dealing with something you never really have before. You and Alexis are family. But here you're dealing with something totally different. You're dealing with second generation wrestlers. You may know everything about 21st century wrestling, but Power and Glory have a father with over 30 years of history, knowledge, and background to build upon. You, Alex, have a rich father who tried to bribe your wife to leave you. True fatherly love. And how much attention can you pay to your sister when you're worrying about your poor wife. Your family, strong as you might think it is, is falling apart around you. But don't think I'm taking you two lightly. After all, there's nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal, and the Darlings are wounded. It's a shame that such a loving family – and I use that term in every sense of the word – has to be ripped apart like this. My twins may not beat the Darling Twins this week, but I do promise three things...

Edra:[/i] Power

Clio:[/i] Glory

Mary Lou:[/i] And pain

Wyatt:[/i] And God help the souls of the Darlings...because we won't.

Edra:[/i] Looking forward to seeing you again, Alex. But my sister and I are really looking forward to meeting YOU Alexis.

Clio:[/i] Using Ashley and Spencer to get our Dad alone so you could threaten him. You used them, you tricked us, now it's personal. Just remember, payback's a bitch, and we're just the bitches to bring it!

SFJSunny:[/i] Power and glory meet the Darling Twins and the Holy Spirit Squad tomorrow night, Midweek Mayhem, be there.

Clio:[/i] Ready to dance?

SFJSunny:[/i] You bet.

Wyatt:[/i] Just the slow ones tonight.

Mary Lou:[/i] Count on it.

(The friends head toward the limo and the Echo Room as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is SITTING~! on the couch, intently watching something on TV, ice pack on her knee. Lucky and Alex are outside in the hall WHISPERING~!

L: See? We are out here WHISPERING~! and she doesn't even notice. It's not like her.

AD: Eh, she gets engrossed in stuff. She's been keeping her training, and PT on her knee, so--

L: Not like...look, has she said TWO WORDS to you since ...

AD: No she's been quieter than usual. Hell, she's NEVER quiet.

L: Exactly. I think he's gotten to her. If I didn't know better I'd say she was depressed.

AD: She gets depressed. It's part of the--

L: No, she dissociates. That's different. She doesn't....just...give up. Only one other time have I seen her that way, where I was really worried that she'd...give up.

AD: After Trinity.

L: Yeah.

AD: *sigh* okay well, I don't know what to do. She fired Dr. Freedman, and even though I still have him on retainer, we bring him back and she'll go ballistic.

L: That might be preferable. But no...we have to get her out of this Best of Seven. If she doesn't pull out of this funk...I'm not sure it'll go to seven.

AD: You think I'm not worried about that too? I'll see what I can do, but she's pretty focused on Moose, whether it's all working through this family stuff, or just sibling rivalry.

They nod, and Lucky goes off to do something else. Alexander walks in, and Fire barely acknowledges him.

AD: Whatcha watchin'?

FW: This video Father Lou gave me. Boy and his dog.

AD: Why would he give you that?

FW: Dunno.

Alex reaches down and picks up the DVD case.



AD: HEY! Whoa, uh....

Alex stands in front of the TV, blocking her view. Fire reacts to sometihng finally, and looks to either side of him trying to see.

FW: I can't see!

AD: You don't need to see. This is a terrible movie! Bad acting, bad direction...you'll just hate that you wasted 80 minutes on it.

FW: Move, please?

AD: Fire...I know how you are about animals and....look, just turn it off now.

FW: No, I wanna see.

AD: Fire, this is not a good time for this kind of movie. Please.

FW: Alex...

Fire gets up, mostly on her good leg, and shoves him out of the way.

AD: Let's go get...um..ICE CREAM! You're always bitching about the bad ice cream in Japan, and now we're in Canada. You can watch the ending when we get back.

FW: No, you'll just text Lucky to throw it away while we're gone.

AD: I.....um, okay, look, I'm just going to tell you. The boy--

FW: I've seen it, Alex.

AD: You...you have?

FW: Yes. This is the third time I'm watching it.

AD: ....Oh. So...why did Father Lou give it to you?

FW: Dunno. Hadn't seen it before this morning.

AD: You've watched it three times...in a row?

FW: Is that weird?

AD: ....

FW: ....

AD: Probably not for you. And?

FW: Well....I think....I think I might get it now. Why Father Lou gave it to me. The boy is the only one that could do it. He loves the dog more than anyone else. So it had to be him.

AD: Fire...what are you saying?

FW: I think I know what I have to do, Alex.

Fire gets up and hobbles over to another part of the room. She lifts up her ringwear from Blood Pond. It's been laundered, but its still bearing streaks of red and pink from water. She looks at it, head tilted a little sideways. Alex starts to speak, but it looks like he's afraid to ask the question. Finally he does.

AD: What. What is it you have to do?

She stares at the clothing a while longer.

FW: I clearly have to get new ring wear. I can't go out to the ring like this.

AD: *sighing* Okay, we'll get--

FW: But first...ICE CREAM! You said!

AD: *sighing again* Okay, fine...Ice cream.

Alex gets his keys and wallet and they leave.

[BookerShark]

<Moose walks in front of the OOWF banner where SFJ13 is standing>

SFJ13: Moose, you lead your best of seven series against your sister Firewoman.....

MHJ: Lisa Darling

SFJ13: Anyway, you are up 2-0, I see you are thinking sweep?

MHJ: You know, I remember way back when.......there were days when good ol Sean couldn't wake mom up from her smack induced haze, so being the wonderful fucking human being he is, he would drag Lisa and I down to Corktown so he could drown his sorrows. Now, as you can imagine, there is nothing in the world more fun to two kids than sitting in a dark Irish bar watching grown ass men wallow in self pity and sorrow and drown themselves in pint after pint.

So, we would wait until Sean had a few and started to get loud and obnoxious, and not wanting to be the target of his rage, we would slip out and leave. During the summer, we would walk down to the corner of Michigan and Trumbull and watch the Tigers games through the fence. I remember when the Tigers were playing well, people would bring the brooms out for a sweep.

So this......<holding up the barbed wire broom>...... this symbolizes what I plan on doing to Lisa Darling. Lisa, I already embarrassed you by beating you in an Onslaught rules match, when, supposedly, you are supposed to be the superior wrestler. Then, I faced you in Blood Pond in an anything goes match. The site where I nearly killed your husband. I thought for sure that would motivate you for some revenge, but no, once again Firewoman was nowhere to be found, and instead Lisa Darling showed up, and once again, I proved I am better than the Darlings.

So what makes you think this next match is going to be any different? For a year now you have joined the "Moose is finished" crowd. I am old. I am broken down. I am a garbage wrestler. I am slow. You are younger. You are fresher. You are a better technical wrestler. You are faster. To hear you talk, I should have just forfeited the series to save the embarrassment.

And yet.......you still haven't beaten me.

So Lisa, when I win......and I will win.......I want you to meet me in the center of that ring, and I want you to say one thing. I want you to stand before the world and say, you were wrong and I was right. I am the better wrestler, and siding with the Darlings and forgetting who you are, has made you weak.

<Moose smirks>

Or......if you want to save yourself the embarrassment to losing to a broken down old has been like me, say it now. Say it now and you can go off to your stupid house in New Orleans, you can go have a life as a pampered Darling, and you will never hear another word from me about it.

The choice is yours Lisa......you can make the right decision, or you can continue to underestimate me. Just remember, decisions have consequences, and I am not playing games here.

Trust me

[BookerShark]

The Kai's face comes into view suddenly.

Kai: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. WHOA. The Kai is sorry to interrupt Moosehead Jack playing with himself, but the Kai has something to say. Actually the Kai is not sorry. The Kai is sick and tired of the roody poo soap opera that exists in that family. The Kai simply does not care. The Kai wants to know if we can focus on something else, like the Kai.

So for all the millions...

Crowd: AND MILLIONS!

Kai: ...of the Hawai'ian nation out there, the Kai is about to talk about something...hold on to your sobreros, this is gonna come as a shocker. Something NOT related to the Darling or Quinns.

This week, the Kai is teaming with a mute, so the Kai has to talk a lot more than usual, which is fine because has a beautiful voice. Would you like to hear the Kai sing?

Crowd: YEAH!!

Kai: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU WANT!

Crowd boos.

Kai: Oh, alright.

The Kai does a fantastic rendition of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline." Moving on.

Kai: Now for the topic that matters most to the Kai. That is...the Kai. This week, the Kai-san teams with Mr. Excitement, Mr. Tongue-less...which is gross, "Dynamite" Danny Taylor. With that nickname, the Kai could make a joke about him "blowing" but the Kai will not go there. You see the Kai respects Danny, the weird, crazy sunbitch he is. Danny Taylor has more backbone than a chiropractor's office. So, the Kai feels good about this pairing. For this week.

Now, for the Kai and Danny Taylor's opponents: Ghosthead and Rabbit Mask. Ghosthead, ya gay spooky sonbitch, you and the Kai have danced before. As for Rabbit Mask, ya freak. You wanna fly around? The Kaiflies with the best of them. You wanna cover your ugly mug with a stupid bunny mask, well that's fine. The Kai has no reason to cover his beautiful face, but even if he did, it wouldn't be with some stupid bunny costume reject.

So wear your stupid little mask, and go hippity hop around the ring, that's fine with the Kai. Get your buddy to do so too, because right after the Kai is finished laughing his finely toned gluts off, the Kai is gonna get serious. He's gonna give Ghost-can't-get-head-from-a-stripper-cuz-he's-so-damn-ugly a Reef Bottom. Then, the Kai is gonna rip that stupid bunny mask off the hippity hop jabroni. The Kai's gonna turn that sonbitch sideways. And you know what the Kai is gonna do?

Wait for it.

The Kai is gonna stick it STRAIGHT UP! YOUR CANDY! ASS!

IF YA SMELLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!

[BookerShark]

(The events of the last 48 hours seems to have put a renewed vigor into Power and Glory as we see Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the Twins in the gym)

Mary Lou: They look so...different. Like they did when I first started with you.

Wyatt: Don't they? All work and no play...

Mary Lou: Makes Wyatt a lousy lover...

Wyatt: I apologize, dear. All better now?

Mary Lou: Absolutely.

(The twins finish off one jobber with a Double Elimination and a pin. The next one in tries some chops but gets cut down by Power who rolls the Triple Germans on the portly jobber, then tags Clio to hit the Powerbomb Bulldog. As she pulls the jobber up and Clio hits her end of the move, Wyatt jumps up into the ring.)

Wyatt: Edra, don't lean too far into it, extend him fully over your head. That gives Clio more height to work with.

Edra: I thought I did?

Wyatt: No, you're pulling him straight into a bomb position, extend it up. Like this.

(Wyatt motions the jobber to come to the corner. Wyatt picks him up and extends him upright, but Wyatt's wingtips don't grip the mat and he falls backwards, and the jobber hits the ropes and knocks Clio off. The jobber shakes his head and laughs. Wyatt throws off his shoes and socks and plants an uppercut to the jobbers family jewels. A couple of European Uppercuts later, Wyatt points Clio to the ropes. He sets the Powerbomb fully extended, and Clio hits the bulldog off the top rope just right. Wyatt then rolls to the jobber and slaps on an Indian Deathlock. The jobber taps frantically.)

Wyatt: Laugh at me, will ya, you Bob McKensie wanna be! You don't laugh when someone's trying to teach something! You WILL respect this family! Now take off, eh, get you some backbacon and Labatts, eh?

(The women are staring at Wyatt.)

Wyatt: What?

Clio: (Smiling) Is that what you mean by bringing the intensity?

Wyatt: Yeah, something like that.

Edra: I haven't seen you mad like that since Miss Welch tried to split us up in the fifth grade.

Wyatt: Don't disrespect the family. That's a lesson the Darlings and Stan and Mai need to remember. I'm old, but I'm not dead. Now, lunch time?

Mary Lou: On it.


(The family heads for the locker rooms as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

FADE in on another gym somewhere in Canada. Hell, it’s a big place they could be anywhere. Working out with some jobbers are the Holy Spirit Squad.

SF: “I’m going to take five, Mai. Feel free to work on your “outnumbered by your opponents” moves.”

MM: “Cool! Thanks, Stan!”

Fulton drops off the apron and sits watching OOWF-TV.

SF: “They never quit do they?”

BLINC: *float*

SF: “Wyatt? When on God’s green Earth have we ever disrespected your family? It’s been the reverse actually. I’ve taken a shot or two from your briefcase and Mai and I have been attacked backstage.

“So now you’re pulling out the ol’ Nobody Respects Us card. Well, take my advice. I know from personal experience that it doesn’t wash. Respect is earned. I played that card for my first eight months or so. Maybe longer. You know when I earned respect, Mr. Cox? When I started winning championships.

“To get to those championships, you have to win matches. Or be impressive in losses. I can say that Mai and myself took perhaps the greatest tag team in this industry to the limit and came very close to taking away their OOWF World Tag Team Championships. We proved we’re a tag team to be reckoned with and respected.

“Now again, The Holy Spirit Squad is in one of those clusterbombs. Again we face your girls. This time we add the Darling Twins to the equation.

“Now I’ve always had respect for Alexander Darling and his accomplishments in the ring. I’ve always not respected the way he went about everything outside that ring, but that’s neither here nor there. Alexis has proved she can hang with anyone.

“Frankly, Mr. Cox, your girls are the green, untested ones in this match. The respect is going to be hard to come by, especially the way you’re going about promoting your daughters. You’ve cried wolf and disparaged nearly everyone in this company.

“Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

“Let us pray.”

Fulton bows his head and clasps his hands.

SF: “Dear Lord. Please keep all the participants in tonight’s matches safe. Keep safe the crew, the fans and their families. We pray that you watch over the residents of Louisiana and Alabama as they feel the effects of Hurricane Isaac. Keep them and their loved ones safe and out of harm’s way.

“Please, Lord, peel back the evil-tinged filters covering the eyes of Wyatt Cox and his offspring. Show them that the way of pain and hurting others is not the path to glory.

“We pray this in Your name.

“Amen.”

Fulton looks up into the camera.

“Tonight. The Holy Spirit Squad continues their path to the OOWF World Tag Team Championships. Power & Glory. Alex and Alexis.

“Enjoy the rapture.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Kagoshima, Japan

LD WILLIAMS vs. ERIC O’MAC

Eric makes his way to the ring, unshaven and stumbling badly. LD looks at Referee Angelo Barros questioningly. Barros goes in and talks to Eric, shrugs and calls for the bell. Eric stands holding onto the top rope and beckons LD to come at him. LD goes in and blocks a feeble punch, then blisters Eric’s chest with chops. LD tries to whip him across the ring, but Eric stumbles, falls, and crawls to the corner to pull himself back up. LD sends Angelo over to see it Eric is able to continue. After some discussion, Barros determines he is. LD grabs Eric and DDTs him to the mat. LD stands and watches Eric crawl to the ropes, unable to stand without support. LD chops Eric a few more times once he is on his feet, then hurls Eric into the corner and props him up on the turnbuckle. LD backs up and hits the running knee / bulldog combo. Eric is moving, but just barely. LD seems to have had enough and pulls O’Mac to his feet once more and doubles him over. CANADIAN DESTROYER! LD covers Eric in disgust 1…..2…..3,
WINNER, in 3:01, LD Williams

RICKY SOARING EAGLE vs. COMRADE SHARKOFF

Eagle is out first, followed by Sharkoff, who threatens him with the chain. Ricky does not blink, and stares Sharkoff down. The bell rings and Sharkoff bull rushes Eagle. Ricky kicks Comrade in the gut and scoops him up for a shoulder breaker. Somewhere, Scott Norton is smiling. Eagle drags CS to his feet and sends him into the ropes for a stiff clothesline. Eagle hits a big leg drop and drags CS to the corner and props him up. Ricky goes for an avalanche, but CS dodges the splash! Ricky eats turnbuckle, and Sharkoff catches him in a swinging neck breaker. Sharkoff drops a knee on RSE’s head and delivers a couple of kicks as Ricky reaches out for the ropes. Sharkoff hits a couple of elbows and a discus punch. Ricky staggers to the corner, where CS whips him into the ropes for the SICKLE, but RSE ducks. Comrade gets turned around and walks into a bog boot to the jaw. Ricky grabs Sharkoff and pulls him up for a Blue Thunder Bomb. RSE quickly pounces and wraps CS in the Cactus Thorn. Sharkoff finds himself trapped in the middle of the ring and unable to reach the ropes. It doesn’t take long for him to tap out.
WINNER, in 6:29, Ricky Soaring Eagle.

BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. STANK & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER

We get Stank & Justin to start. Stank quickly overpowers him and has Justin in the corner. Stank grabs him by the Mohawk and rams his head into the turnbuckle over and over. Stank hiptosses JS across the ring and waits for JS to get to his feet, then rushes at him with a shoulder block that sends Sane flying. Stank hits a running power slam, then a Samoan drop. Justin rolls to his corner and tags in Awesome Bill. Bill goes right at tank and they trade blows back and forth. Bill kicks Stank in the gut and hits a DDT. Stank is slow to his feet, and Bill kicks him in the gut again for a Stunner! Stank sells like a champ and Bill goes for a cover. Stank kicks out before 1 and tags in AA. Caps comes in and is greeted with a bionic elbow, then a bulldog. Bill scoops AA up for the Dirty Bird, but AA is able to twist and shift his weight out of it, then hit Bill with The Stroke. AA reaches in his trunks for the Black Glove and Slaps on the CLAW! Bill drops to his knees but keeps fighting, while AA yells “Come On Baby!” Bill reaches out and sweeps AA’s legs, then grabs AB’s feet and flips over for a cover. He gets 1, but no more as AA is back up. Bill tags in Justin and they try a double suplex, but Stank comes in and spine busters Bill. AA tries to put Justin in the Sleeper, but the Mohawk pokes AA in the eyes and he is forced to back out and tag Stank in. Justin tags Bill back in and they lock up, and Stank twists Bill into an abdominal stretch. Bill breaks the hold with the ropes and backdrops Stank. AA tags himself in and he and Bill clothesline each other. Both men get to their feet slowly. Alan doubles Bill over and sets up for a pile driver. Suddenly, The Masked Manager is at ringside. AA drops Bill, Stank runs around the ring to cut him off. As AA sees this, Bill comes up from behind Alan and scoops him up for the Dirty Bird! He hooks the leg and gets 1…..2…..3!
WINNERS, in 9:19, Banned From Everywhere!

After the bell rings, The Masked Man laughs as Stank turns around to see a LIVID AA arguing with the referee. Bill and Justin celebrate with some Pine Cone Party Likker-eh in the crowd.

DARLING TWINS vs. HOLYS SPIRIT SQUAD vs. POWER & GLORY

We get a clean start. Alexis and Mai lock up and Mai gets taken down and an armbar put on her. She starts to work her way back to her feet, but Alexis turns the armbar into a waist lock and plants her with a belly to back suplex. Mai rolls to a corner and gets tagged HARD by Glory. She and Alexis tangle, and Alexis gets backed into the corner and sent into the ropes. Glory goes for a backdrop, but Alexis stops shorts and hooks her up for a Kudoh Driver! Before she can hit the move, Power runs in from behind and dives at the back of her knees, sending Alexis face first to the mat and Glory tumbling on top of her. Alex comes in and grabs Power by the hair and slings her out of the ring, causing her to land hard n the concrete. Stan and Mai jump in the ring and grab Alexis and set her up for the Divine Retribution, but Glory knocks Mai off the ropes. On the floor, Alex and Power are brawling, so Glory crawls under the ring and tosses her sister a chain! Power catches it and blasts Alex with it. In the ring, Stan sends Alexis into the ropes for the Back Cut Slam, but she does some impressive lucha spinning off his arm and ends up hitting a DDT, then dives out of the ring and drives Power into the barricade. Alex produces his own chain from somewhere, and he goes at Glory with it. Mai climbs back in the ring and looks poised to fly, but Stan grabs her to stop her as the referee looks out and sees The Darlings and the Cox’s battling with chains swinging wildly all around. He calls for the bell, DQ’s the teams on the floor for the weapons, and raises Mai & Stan’s arms.
WINNERS, in 7:24, Holy Spirit Squad.

The bell ringing doesn’t faze anyone, as both Glory and Alexis are now busted open from the chain shots. Alexis and Glory are tugging at a chain, while Alex uses another to choke Power. Backstage Security floods the area and eventually separates the 4.

DANNY TAYLOR & THE KAI vs. GHOSTHEAD & RABBIT MASK

We get four separate entrances, which annoys Firewoman. Kai starts out with Ghost and takes him down pretty quickly. Kai keeps the Onslaught Champion off of his feet with a couple of dropkicks, a spinning forearm smash and an enziguri. GH fights back with a lung blower and a thrust kick and tags in Rabbit. RM bounces in and goes nose to nose with Kai. He slaps RM, who backs up and pops him with a super kick in the face! Kai hits the mat, and Rabbit hits the ropes for a springboard moonsault. Kai gets his knees up and RM crumbles to the mat. Danny gets tagged in and he pulls RM in for a power bomb, RM fights him as he if lifted up, and comes crashing down on top of Danny. RM is up first and kicks the new IC champ in the head a couple of times. Danny drives him into the corner with a shoulder and begins to light him up with fists. Danny backs off at the referee’s count, blocks a RM kick and leg whips him to the mat and tries to put on a Fujiwara arm bar. RM reaches out and grabs the ropes, then tags in GH. Ghost comes in and DDT pounds him with a couple forearm shots and hits a fall away slam. GH ducks a clothesline and tries a back handspring elbow. Danny catches him and hits a German suplex for a 2 count. RM is comes in to break the pin up, which draws Kai in. The four men brawl in the ring, with the referee counting and yelling at everyone. Ricky Soaring Eagle comes running down to ringside, tire iron in hand. He jumps on the apron and swings it at Ghosthead, who ducks and Danny catches the blow! Eagle drops down to the floor, and we can’t tell if he’s upset or happy with himself. Ghosthead rolls DDT to the floor, while the referee sees RSE and orders him away from ringside. Ghosthead and RM double team Kai, the prop him up on the ropes. WHITE AND BLACK MIST! Kai hits the mat hard. They then hit a double brain buster on Kai. Both men go up top. SPECTRE’s FALL! ORIGINAL 810! RM makes the cover and gets the academic 1,2,3.
WINNER, in 10:42, Ghosthead & Rabbit Mask

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. FIREWOMAN – Best of Seven Series Match 3: TLC

Moose is announced first and makes his way to the ring. He is wearing a flak jacket to protect his ribs, and still looks a little off. The crowd boos him loudly, but as usual, he ignores them. Moose rolls into the ring and slumps in the corner, but this time he has a mic

Lisa, I had to know. I had to know if that old spark was still there. I had to know if the Darlings have crushed whatever Quinn remained in you. And now I know. Lisa Quinn is dead and gone……

“Firewoman” plays and Fire walks to the ring, WITH PURPOSE! Well, limps to the ring might be better since she is wearing a knee brace that would make Steve Austin proud. She steps between the ropes and marches right to the middle of the ring where Moose is now standing

Lis……I understand if you want to quit……I really do. I mean, there is no point in humiliating yourself for two more matches. All you have to do is say “I was right” and you can head to the back, back to your stupid little life with Alex, and you will never hear another word from me

Fire drops her head and slowly shakes it. She looks out at the crowd and they beg her not to say it. Fire asks for the mic and Moose hands it to her

Jackie……..there’s really only one thing I can say….<long pause, the crowd boos her decision> ……..I am going to kick your ass

Fire nails Moose between the eyes with the mic, sending him staggering back to the corner. Fire charges in and catches Moose with a knee to the face (the knee with the brace) which opens a gash on Moose’s face. Fire hammers Moose with rights and lefts, beating him down to the mat, then pulls another page from Steve Austin’s playbook and flips him the double bird.

Fire pulls Moose out of the corner and scoops him up and drives him to the mat with a MICHINOKU DRIVER! Fire doesn’t even bother trying for a cover, instead she slides out of the ring and grabs two chairs and tosses them in the ring, then grabs a third and slides under the bottom rope. As Moose stands up, Fire cracks him across the back with the chair, then wedges it between the turnbuckles. She turns and sets the other two chairs up and waits for Moose to get to his feet.

As Moose stands, Fire grabs him around the waist, but Moose reverses it and grabs the back of Fire’s head and hammers her with forearms. Moose kicks the back of Fire’s bad knee, sending her to the mat. Jack bails out of the ring and pulls Fire to the corner and slams her knee into the ringpost several times, then traps her in a RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR! Fire howls in pain, but will not submit, Moose threatens to break Fire’s leg, and her response? “DON’T A PUSSY THEN, BREAK IT!”

Moose snarls and breaks the hold, then grabs a chair and swings it at Fire’s injured knee. Fire moves her leg at the last second and Moose slams the chair into the ringpost, drops it and howls as he tries to shake feeling back into his hands. From inside the ring, Fire reaches between the ropes, grabs Moose by the head and SLAMS him face first into the ring post. Moose falls to the floor dazed, and Fire hits a STANDING MOONSAULT from the apron, landing square on Moose’s ribs. Flak jacket or no, that shit had to HURT!

Fire rolls Moose back into the ring and covers him, but Moose kicks out at two. Fire shoves Moose into the corner and hits a spinning heel kick that catches him upside the head, then slips out of the ring and sets up a table at ringside. Fire climbs back into the ring and sets Moose on the top rope. Fire climbs up after him and leaps and tries a HURRACARANA, but Moose holds catches Fire and hooks his foot on the ropes, and catches Fire. He lifts her, turns and DRIVES HER THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A POWERBOMB! Moose remains perched on the top rope and stares down at Fire, lying in the wreckage of the table. Fire is not moving, but Moose doesn’t go for the pin, instead he climbs down from the turnbuckle and slips under the bottom rope and slides a ladder into the ring. Moose climbs the ladder and tries an elbow drop, but Fire was playing a little bit of possum, she gets to her feet and grabs a piece of the broken table and CRACKS Moose upside the head with it while he is in mid-air!

Moose falls to the floor, blood pouring from a new, fresh wound on his head. Fire drops to one knee and seems to consider how best to hurt Moose. She walks around the ring and sets up another table. While she is doing this, Moose reaches under the ring and pulls out another ladder. Fire finishes setting up the table, and turns around, to see a bloody, deranged Moose standing there with a ladder. He slams it into Fire’s ribs, sending her to the floor, then slides the ladder into the ring. Moose sets the ladder up in the corner and waits for Fire to climb onto the apron. As she does, he catches her with a forearm to the side of the head, then hooks her for a suplex, and falls back against the ladder. Fire hits hard on the ladder, but Moose gets it too, slamming the back of his head on the bottom of the ladder. Both of them are down and the referee starts a ten count.

Fire pulls herself to her feet first and grabs Moose and drops him with a DDT. Fire lays the ladder down on the mat, then pulls Moose up, scoops him up and slams him on the ladder, then springboards off the middle rope and lands a FIRESAULT! Moose howls in pain and rolls off the ladder, Fire quickly covers him, but Moose kicks out at two. Fire snarls and pulls Moose back to his feet, sends him to the ropes and catches a SPINEBUSTER on the ladder. Moose rolls out of the ring and falls to the floor, gasping for air and holding his ribs. Fire shows no mercy though, she climbs onto the apron and waits for Moose to turn around, then hits a SHINING WIZARD off the apron. The impact sends Moose over the barricade into the first row of fans.

Moose struggles to his feet and Fire reaches over the guard rail and grabs his head and drops him chin first on the barricade. Moose’s head snaps back and he staggers, falling into the seats. As Moose struggles to get up, Fire jumps to the top of the barricade and leaps at Moose, but Moose swings a chair and catches her right on the knee. Fire falls to the floor howling in pain and grabbing her knee. Moose stands on fire’s ankle and brings the chair down several times on her injured knee. He stands over her and raises it for a headshot when someone grabs it from behind. Moose spins around and sees Lucky stranding there with the chair. Lucky remains defiant, glaring at Moose. He tosses the chair down, which is probably a bad move. Moose punches him in the face, then kicks him in the gut and DRIVES him to the floor with a DOUBLE ARM DDT! Lucky is OUT and the fans look a little sickened by the sound of skull meeting concrete. Moose stares down at him for a moment, then turns his attention back to Fire. He pulls her up and throws her over the barricade back to ringside. Moose has some trouble climbing over, his ribs have got to be killing him at this point.

Moose rolls Fire back into the ring and slowly follows her. As Fire tries to get up, Moose swings a chair and slams it down right on her head. Fire will not stay down though, she takes one, two, then three chair shots, but keeps trying to get up. Moose is more than a little annoyed by this. He grabs her by the hair and pulls her up and slams her in the face with several headbutts, opening a gash on her head now, then lifts her for a suplex, but Fire slips out of it and lands behind Moose and catches him with a SUPERKICK to the back of the skull that sends Moose head first into the CHAIR WEDGED IN THE ROPES! As Moose staggers backward, Fire grabs him around the waist and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX, sending Moose crashing onto the two chairs that had been set up in the middle of the ring earlier! Moose is not moving, he may be out! Fire rolls him over and the referee counts, one……two……thre……NO! Moose rolls his shoulder!

Fire slams the mat in frustration, then rolls to the floor and rummages under the ring for a minute, and slides in not one, not two, but THREE tables! This cannot end well. Fire sets up one table, then sets a second on top of it, then somehow gets the third table up on the other two. Fire grabs Moose, but Moose stuns her with a European uppercut that sends her back to the ropes. Moose then steps back and charges, clotheslining Fire over the ropes, but she lands on the apron. Before she can do anything, Moose kicks her damaged knee and she falls onto the apron. Jack steps between the ropes, sets Fire up, and hits a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! Both the Quinn’s are down…….again…..and the paramedics who just got finished hauling Lucky off head to the ring, but they are stopped about halfway when Moose and Fire both begin to stir.

Moose rolls Fire into the ring and follows her and covers, this one should be academic, one……two……..NO! Fire rolls her shoulder and now Moose slams the mat in frustration. Moose backs the referee into the corner and threatens to murder him. Moose turns back to Fire, and somehow she is standing there, blood pouring down her forehead, an evil grin on her face, and a chair in her hands. Fire swings for Moose, but Moose manages to duck the chair shot, and Fire tries to pull up, but the referee catches a nasty shot and falls to the mat. Moose grabs a chair of his own, and the Quinn siblings both swing their chairs and connect in mid-air. They swing again and again and again, and each time they just connect with the other chair.

They both snarl and toss the chairs aside, grab one another by the throat and we have an old fashioned hockey fight! Moose and Fire pepper one another with punches to the face, the crowd roaring their approval of the wanton violence. Fire begins to get the better of it, until Moose catches her in the gut with a knee, then bounds off the ropes and nails her with a BUISAKU KNEE to the face. Fire falls to the mat, but Moose does not cover, instead he grabs one chair and puts it under Fire’s head, then heads to the ladder and begins climbing.

Moose gets about halfway up the ladder (which is now placed conveniently next to the triple stack of tables) when Fire struggles to her feet, grabs a chair and starts climbing the other side. The Quinn’s meet at the top of the ladder, each one with a chair, what could possibly go wrong here? Moose swings and catches Fire upside the head, she teeters, but does not fall. Fire then nails Moose, who also almost falls off the ladder but somehow holds on. The two trade a few more shots and somehow hold on. Moose tries one last swing, but Fire ducks it and clocks him upside the head. A second shot comes down on top of his head, then a third slams upside his head and Moose FALLS OFF THE LADDER ONTO THE TABLES! Moose crashes through the first and second table, but somehow the third table doesn’t break. Fire stares down at Moose, then climbs to the top of the ladder, throws the chair aside, steadies herself and stands for a second with her arms out in a crucifix pose, then hits the BEST FIRESAULT EVER DRIVING MOOSE THROUGH THE LAST TABLE!

Fire’s head slams into a piece of the already broken table, and she looks like she just about knocked herself out. Moose is writhing in pain, coughing up blood. Fire manages to crawl through the wreckage and collapse on Moose, draping her arm across his chest. The referee drags himself over and counts the agonizingly slow one…….two……..THREE!
WINNER in 44:11 – Firewoman; Moosehead Jack leads the Best of Seven Series 2-1

Before the referee even hit three, the medics were climbing into the ring. They pulls both Quinn’s out of the wreckage of the tables and quickly get them loaded up and taken to the back.


CHRIS EVANS vs. MATT FOLZ– Non-Title Match

At the bell, we get a flurry or back and forth punches & kicks, quite the brawl compared to the technical matchup that was expected. Folz grabs Evans and hurls him into the turnbuckles. Evans grabs Matt’s hair and smashes his face into the pad. More back and forth punches, and the referee has to physically wedge himself in between the two. He backs Evans out and calls for a restart. They lock up properly this time, and Folz shoves Evans back. Chris slaps Matt across the face. Folz tackles Evans to the mat and the brawl is back on. After some back and forth on the mat, Folz comes up with the upper hand and buts CE’s lip open with some direct shots to the face. Evans doesn’t flinch, and grabs MF by the throat and works his way back to his feet. Evans pops MF with a forearm and DDTs him to the mat. He tries for a cross-face, but Folz is in the ropes before it gets locked in. Folz sends Evans into the ropes, and Evans gets BLASTED in the head with a metal pole by SKI MASK GUY! Where did he come from?!?! Folz hesitates for a moment too long, and he too gets treated to a pole shot. Both men are down and SMG is alternating blows between the two. The crowd starts to pop, and LD Williams comes sprinting down the aisle! He slides under the ropes and tackles SMG to the mat, knocking the pole to the floor. LD gets in a couple blows, then grabs the ski mask and tries to pull it off! SMG fights back, working his way to his feet, clutching the mask to his head. LD hammers the back of his neck while still pulling on the mask. SMG drops to his knee and low blows LD, breaking free and rolling out of the ring. He grabs his pole and escapes through the crowd as security runs to ringside.
Official Decision, No Contest in 6:28.

TEXPRESS vs. FF CAPSLOCK & JOHNNY ADRENALINE – OORF World Tag Team Title Match

Capslock & Adrenaline ambush Chad & Zane as they hit the ring. The fight spills out of the ring, where Zane and FFC have paired off on one side and Chad and Johnny on the other. Johnny sends Chad over the barricade and into the crowd, while Zane grabs FFC’s bread and smashes him face first into the ring post. The rest of the OOWF referee crew hits ringside and gets things separated and we eventually get a clean start. Zane locks up with Johnny, and JA uses a hidden thumb to the eye to grab a headlock and take Zane down. Myers powers up and slams JA, then drops a big leg across his chest. Johnny crawls to his feet and is greeted with a big boot. Zane lifts JA for a Border Toss, but JA breaks free, drops behind him, dropkicks ZM’s knee, and tags in FFC. Capslock barrels in and catches Zane with clubbing blows to the back. He pulls Zane in for a DDT, then stomps on his fingers and drops a knee. Zane clutches his hand and is unable to prevent FFC from hitting a power slam. JA tags back in. FFC hoists Zane up in a bear hug, and Johnny flies off the top, and HITS HIS OWN PARTNER! Zane broke free and avoided the double team. He tags Chad in, who comes in all en fuego. Dropkick for FFC. Dropkick for JA. FFC eats another. Chad feigns another dropkick then super kicks JA’s head nearly off! Chad hits a couple of arm drags and Belly to belly suplexes JA into his corner. FFC tags back in and stops Chad’s momentum with a knee to the gut. He hits a gut wrench suplex and then tries a backdrop. Chad tumbles over FFC’s back and hits a Pele kick. He tags Zane back in, who military presses FFC and tosses him into back first into the turnbuckles. Johnny comes running in and takes Zane’s knee out from behind. Chad spears him out of the ring, but Zane is hurt. FFC starts stomping and wrenching on the knee, keeping Zane off his feet and away from Chad. Johnny tags in and sweeps the legs, then wraps Zane in a Figure 4! Zane twists and turns, but Johnny has the move on solid. HE and FFC locks hands for some extra leverage. The referee sees this and kicks their hands apart! Zane uses that moment to roll over and reverse the pressure! Johnny howls as Zane drags them both to the Texpress corner! Zane reaches out and tags Chad in, who scales to top and hits a somersault leg drop on the back of Johnny’s neck! Zane lunges at FFC as Chad rolls JA over for the 1…..2…..3!
WINNERS, in 12:12, Texpress!

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