Post by BookerShark on Oct 3, 2013 17:19:26 GMT -5
2013 OOWF Awards Ceremony
<we are back in the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in Asheville, North Carolina. The camera pans around and we see the place is decked out even better than it was last night for the Hall of Fame. The tables on the floor have all been set with linens and we see dinner has been served. Fans have been allowed in, and they fill the upper balcony. Voice Over Guy, take it from here!>
VOG: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the 2012/2013 OOWF Awards! We are coming to you live from the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in downtown Asheville, North Carolina! Tonight is the night we have all been waiting for, the crowning of this year’s award winners. And now, to kick things off this evening, please welcome the conscious of the OOWF, the toughest Priest since Father Mulcahey, the Champion of the Confessional, the Badass of Baptisms, Savior of Souls…….Father Lou!
<Father Lou walks out onto the stage under a spotlight, looking pious as ever gets a nice ovation from the crowd>
VOG: Please rise while Father Lou leads us in the OOWF prayer:
Our Hardcore who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy blades
Thy bed of nails, thy wounds be done with chairs or with barbed and razored wire.....
Give us this day our daily bled
and forgive us our shattered glasses
as we forgive those who use broken glass against us
And lead us not into garbage, but deliver us from mediocrity.....
VOG: Now, ladies and gentlemen please welcome out emcee for the night, the NEW man with the plan, straight from the PHWF all the way to the OOWF, GM Nate “Pun” Corbitt!
GMtN: Thank you for being here tonight Ladies and Gentlemen! This is my first time hosting the OOWF Awards show, and I couldn’t be happier about the whole thing. I honestly believe that, day in, day out, we have THE best wrestling in the entire world
<applause from the crowd>
GMtN: Tonight, we take the time to honor those amazing wrestlers. It is both an honor and a privilege to be here for this tonight. Now, without further delay, our first award is for Breakthrough Star of the Year, and I could think of no one better to present this award than the man who has seemingly come out of nowhere to take the WWE by storm. Ladies and Gentlemen, DANIEL BRYAN!
<Daniel Bryan walks out and the crowd immediately begins a YES! YES! YES! Chant. Bryan stands there for a moment and soaks it in, then bows graciously and steps to the podium>
DB: For the longest time I heard that I would never be good enough to make it in the “big time”. I always knew I had the talent, I was one of the longest reigning champions in Ring of Honor, but I was never big enough, fast enough, or had the right look for the big companies. I finally got my chance, not by having some flashy gimmick, but by just being the best wrestler I could be. I was finally given the opportunity to prove what I could do, and I took that opportunity and ran with it. Our award tonight goes to that same person, by winning the Breakthrough Star of the Year, you are poised to take that next step, you have earned the opportunity to be the next great OOWF wrestler. Now, Voice Over Guy……if you will….
VOG: The nominees for Breakthrough Star of the Year are…..Amazing Jos and Christian Carter
DB: <opening the envelope> And the winner is………AMAZING JOS!
<Jos gets to his feet and slaps hands with the fellow faces, and shoots Carter a look, who glares back at him. Jos makes his way to the mic and gets a nice ovation from the crowd>
AJ: It’s never easy going from one company to another. When you get to the new place, there are cliques and unwritten rules, and history between people that you have to learn real fast. When I came over from LBCW, I knew the learning curve would be steep, but I also know, being Amazing and all, that I could do it. Tonight, you guys just all validated that belief in myself. This year Breakthrough, next year, I am coming for WRESTLER of the year! Thank you!
<Jos holds up his trophy and heads back to his seat, he gets a huge round of applause from the wrestlers and the crowd>
GMtN: Thank you Daniel Bryan. And just a side note…..I was in a few of the meetings when the LBCW guys were brought in, Christian Carter, Jason Allen, Amazing Jos and Jeremy Punswick. There was some debate as to whether they would stop in PHWF first, then head to the OOWF, but after seeing their work, they were ready for the big time immediately, and I think they have all proven it. Good job to them, and good job to those who brought them to the OOWF!
<applause>
GMtN: Our next award is for NPC – Non-Player Character – of the year. That is basically someone who is general not a wrestler, but serves a vital purpose to the show, be it manager, valet, sidekick or whatever. Here to present the NPC of the Year award………..oh boy…….Ladies and Gentlemen, Zeb Coulter
<Zeb walks out and the crowd boos him loudly. He just smirks and walks to the podium>
ZC: Non-player character. You wanna know what that sounds like to me? That sounds like someone sucking at the teat of the OOWF! That to me, sounds like someone who is not earning their keep around here. The OOWF needs to stop subsidizing these people! If you keep allowing them to receive paychecks for doing nothing they are never going to learn! They will just mooch off the government like a bunch of damn welfare queens! And that brings me to my next point I……
<before Zeb can continue on his Fox themed rant, Voice Over Guy cuts him off>
VOG: And the nominees for Non-Player Character of the year are……LJ Bennett………Bridgette………The Joker…….and Ellie May From Elijay!
ZC: Cut off my mic huh…..bunch of Socialists. <opening the envelope> And the winner is……are you serious? A woman? Ellie May From Elijay
<Ellie May gets to her feet and heads to the podium where Zeb Coulter looks disgusted>
ZC: You know, you have a LOT of nerve Missy! You are out here taking up someone’s spot when you should be at home providing a good home for a husband and kids! You are all that is wrong with……
<before Coulter can finish, Ellie May kicks him in the gut and hits the POSSUM POUCH (package DDT) Coulter is OUT! Ellie May gets a standing ovation and stands and stares at Coulter as security drags him off the stage>
EMFE: You know, it is hard being a woman in this profession. I don’t consider myself on the level of the Firewomen and Alexis Darlings of wrestling, but I feel like I have my place. Keeping tabs on Bill and Justin is a full time job as you know. Speaking of Bill and Justin <Ellie May looks out at the crowd> Where are they?
<the spotlight focuses on the Banned From Everywhere table, which is now empty, save for Drunkey and Drunkette sitting there eating salad>
EMFE: They were JUST there! Ok, I gotta go call…….
<just then, two men in top hats, tails an monocles come out onto the stage carrying a box with a big bow on it. We immediately see it is Justin and Bill>
ABFD: Ellie May, you is the one who done gives us the smart thoughts and such. You make sure me and Justin is where wes supposed to be, and you keep us outta trouble……mosta the time
JS: When we heard you won this award, we wanted to get you something nice.
ABFD: you been wearin that burlap dress for a year or so now, and we thought it was about time you upgradified your wardrobe!
<they hand Ellie May the box and she opens it and pulls out……..a flannel shirt dress, complete with Ellie May From Elijay logo>
EMFE: Wow…..I……uh <Justin and Bill are both beaming with pride> I love it. Thank you boys!
<they share a group hug and the crowd cheers. They head to the side and GM the Nate comes back to the podium>
GMtN: touching…….really. Moving right along……our next award is Gimmick of the Year. For those of you watching for the first time, a Gimmick is something that sets another wrestler apart from the other wrestlers. Whether he be a rapper or a sociopath, it is something unique to that wrestler, something that makes them stand out. Here to present Gimmick of the Year ……..ED LESLIE! <crickets> BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE!
<mild applause>
BtbB: Great to be here at the OOWF Awards! <crickets> Ok…..well……uh……I hold the “distinction” of having the most gimmicks in the history of wrestling, so I think I know a thing or two about what it takes to get over as a gimmick! I mean really, the Booty Man? My run as “The Barber” was BY FAR the best run of my career, but it took a lot of failed attempts to get to that point. The whole point is, never give up, make the best of what you are given, and always do something that is an extension of your personality. Now……Voice Over Guy, let’s hear the nominees!
VOG: sure thing Zodiac. The nominees for Gimmick of the Year are ……Extreme Tommy Wilder……..Crazy Chloe………and Eco sees Joker
BtbB: And the winner is………ECO SEES THE JOKER!
<Eco looks stunned at his seat, but with the support of Stan and Mai he gets to his feet and slowly heads to the podium as the crowd wildly applauds him>
Eco: umm……..I am not really sure what to say……..I feel like this is kind of a fraudulent win here……I have heard people say that I often have conversations with Joker, but, I am not really sure what anyone is talking about…….I don’t see the Joker at all….
<just then Joker comes out across the stage clapping slowly>
Joker: So, you think they can’t see me?
Eco: <evidently talking to no one> No, they can’t, now go away!
Joker: How can I go away Juni……we are one and the same
Eco: <again, to no one, the crowd begins to get a bit restless> No! we are not! I turned the corner! I am better! I don’t NEED you!
Joker: you can’t live without me Juni. You might as well cut your leg off and try to tap dance, I am as much a part of you as your sister…..
Eco: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!
<Eco lunges for……something, and falls to the floor, throwing punches on……nothing>
Joker: WOOO HOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAH they are going to think you LOST your mind!
Eco: I DON’T CARE I…….
<Mai comes up onto the stage and puts her hand on Eco’s shoulder, breaking his concentration, he turns around to throw a punch at Mai, but pulls up when he sees it is her.>
Eco: Oh…..hi Mai
Mai: Juni……why don’t we go back to our seats……’kay?
Eco: <looking at the floor behind him> huh? Oh, yeah, sure……uh……thanks for the award and stuff!
<the crowd gives the most awkward applause ever and Mai leads Juni back to his seat. GM Corbitt comes back out>
GMtN: Just when you think you’ve seen it all…… ok let’s keep this going before things get weird. Our next award is Catchphrase of the Year. I think we all know what a catchphrase is, but for those playing the home version, a catchphrase is that phrase a wrestler says that the fans identify with, we all know the great ones, and that’s the bottom line, cause stone cold said so, if you smell what the Rock is cookin’ it goes on and on. A great catchphrase can be just as important as a great look and a great arsenal of moves. Now, here to present Catchphrase of the Year…….
IF YA SMEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAH…….WHAT THE ROCK……..IS……..COOKIN
<the crowd cheers (well most of them) as The Rock comes out to the podium and stares out at the crowd, then gives the people’s eyebrow, which draws more cheers. Finally the cheers die down and the Rock speaks>
R: FINALLY…….THE ROCK……HAS COME BACK TO……..ASHEVILLE! <cheers from the fans, the wrestlers look bored> In The Rock’s time in the wrestling he has had many many many catchphrases! The Rock is a CATCHPHRASE MACHINE! The Rock’s mind thinks of things, then they fall out of the Rock’s mouth and they are GOLD! Boots to asses! <fans chant BOOTS TO ASSES, the wrestlers roll their eyes> The Rock’s catchphrases make all other catchphrases look like roody poo candyass jabronies! So……Voice Over Guy, you want to say the nominations? YOU want to talk over the Rock’s beautiful voice? You want to UPSTAGE the Rock? Who in the blue moon of monkey farts do you think you are?
VOG: Well I….
R: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE! <the fans squeal, boos can be heard coming from the wrestlers> Now……Voice Over Guy……you may proceed
VOG: Uh huh, thank you Tooth Fairy…….the nominees for Catchphrase of the Year are…..”Then you haven’t been paying attention” by Stank and “It’s Mai Time” from Mai Muyo
R: THOSE are the nominees? The Rock can hiccup and come up with a better catchphrase than that! Ok <opening the envelope> and the winner is…….IT’S MAI TIME!
<Mai looks elated and gets up from her seat and hugs Stan and Eco and heads to the podium where the Rock does not seem to want to give up the mic>
R: Little girl, what in the blue hell is THIS?
Mai: Mr. Johnson……..do you remember 1998?
R: What? Of COURSE the Rock remembers 1998! The Rock was laying the smacketh down left and right! Sending jabronies to the SMACKDOWN hotel!
Mai: good! Yes! That was YOUR time……..but this is MAI TIME!
<the crowd explodes at this, the wrestlers give Mai a standing ovation, the Rock looks defeated and skulks away to pout>
Mai: I want to thank all of you for this. This year has been amazing for me. I won the intercontinental title and proved to little girls all over the world that women are just as good as men. You can do anything if you put your mind to it! I would especially like to thank Stan and Juni, their support has been amazing! Thanks!
<Mai bounces off the stage and heads back to her table jumping up and down with excitement with her award. More hugs, even Eco seems to have pulled himself together a bit. GM the Nate is back on the stage>
GMtN: Our next award is for Finisher of the Year. Every wrestler has a finishing move, their signature move that more often than not, ends the match. Tonight we are going to honor the best finisher in the OOWF. Here to present the award is a man who had one of the best finishers in all of wrestling. Ladies and Gentlemen…….Jake “the Snake” Roberts!
<Moose is the first to his feet, the rest of the crowd joins him. Jake walks out looking amazing. He smirks and soaks in the cheers for a minute, then steps to the mic>
JR: Bet you didn’t think you would see me here. <crowd roars> I know this is a little off script, but I would like to bring out the man that, literally, saved my life
FEEL
THE
BANG!
<DDP walks out onto the stage and Davin is the first on his feet. Everyone joins him as well and DDP gets his own standing ovation as well, he and Jake hug and wait for the cheers to die down>
JR: this man knows a thing or two about finishers too. The best finishers, like the Diamond Cutter or DDT is they can come out of nowhere, at anytime. It is a psychological weapon just as much as a physical weapon. Your opponent never knows when it is coming, so they have to be on guard the entire match. I have seen a lot of great finishers in my time, tonight we are going to honor another. Voice Over Guy
VOG: The nominees for Finisher of the Year are…..the Phantasmagoria from Ghosthead………..and the Chloe Corkscrew from Chloe
DDP: And the winner is…….this is one scary dude brother…….PHANTASMAGORIA from Ghosthead!
<Ghosthead gets up from his seat and silently walks to the podium he just stares at Jake and DDP and they take a step back. Ghost takes the award and looks at it, then looks out to the crowd, then gives a slight nod and returns to his seat without ever saying a word>
GMtN: A man of many words I see. Ok, moving on to Promo of the Year…….wait, HE is presenting this award? How does he keep getting on this show?
UBUNTU!!!
<the crowd cheers, the wrestlers groan as John Cena comes out on the stage. Cena stands there and soaks in the dueling cheers and boos>
JC: <as serious Cena> now…..I know we didn’t get off on the right foot a few years ago……and I know last year those insane Neal twins tried to cut me in half with Double Elimination…….I know that, and I am here to make things better. Tonight I want to present Promo of the Year because I pride myself on being one of the best promo men in this business…..
Wrestlers: YOU SUCK CENA!
JC: <going into yelly mode> I SUCK? I SUCK? LET ME TELL YOU WHAT SUCKS! WHAT SUCKS IS NOT GETTING THE RESPECT I DESERVE! I GO OUT THERE AND BUST MY ASS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR THE FANS! FOR THE PEOPLE THAT……
<Cena’s mic gets cut off again, we can still hear him yelling but Voice Over guy mercifully drowns him out>
VOG: The nominees for Promo of the Year are…..PCPL Night Before Christmas and Stank Blows Up Texpress’ Tour Bus
<Cena is still yelling about hustle, loyalty and respect or something, so Voice Over Guy just continues on>
VOG: And the winner is…….a TIE! Both win!
<Banned From Everywhere and Stank all get up from their seats and head to the stage where Cena is STILL yelling. Stank just looks at him and looks like he is going to deck him when Justin steps in front of him>
JS: Mr. Cena…….can I borrow five bucks?
JC: What? Five……yeah sure kid, whatever
<Cena hands Justin five bucks and is about to go back to screaming about something, or making gay poop jokes or something, but Justin gets a strange look on his face, the lights go out and Justin screams
DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWKKKK!
we hear thunder roll, a weed eater, a screaming eagle, a braying jackass and the Benedictine Monks chanting. When the lights come back on, John Cena is out cold on the floor, and everyone is standing there looking at Justin, who picks up the award and just smiles>
ABFD: Hell son…….how’d you……
<Justin is about to speak when Attitude Adjuster comes out to the stage>
AA: I would like to thank everyone for making this award possible. I seem my petition to rename award the Attitude Adjuster Promoificator of the Year Award has fallen on deaf ears. Oh man…..where do I start? I have so many people to thank……
<Justin moves toward AA, but Stank stops him, grabs AA and hits the STANK-U! AA is OUT! The group gathers up their award and steps over the bodies of John Cena and Attitude Adjuster and head back to their seat. GM the Nate comes back out and just watches as Cena and AA are dragged away>
GMtN: <sighing> another angry phone call from Vince…….ok next up, feud of the year. If the OOWF knows anything, it is how to have a good feud. Here to present this years Feud of the Year Award……Tommy Rich!
<the wrestlers applaud, most of the crowd just looks confused at the old guy with the funny haircut>
TR: I know I know, most of you are wondering who the hell I am. Let’s face it, in the last eight years they have gone through all the big name feuds in wrestling, I guess it was finally my turn <some laughter>. Well before most of you were born I had a feud with Buzz Sawyer. We tore at one another for months, but nothing was ever settled. Finally, we ended it in the “Last Battle of Atlanta” a last man standing cage match, considered one of the most brutal matches of all time. I am both proud of that, and a little embarrassed that I could be pushed so far. In some ways, that match, that feud, defined my entire career, more so than even winning the NWA title. Just remember, winning this is an honor, but don’t let it become who you are. Voice Over Guy, if you would give the nominees please
VOG: The nominees for Feud of the Year are……Ghosthead vs. Firewoman and Moosehead Jack vs. Tommy Wilder
TR: And the winner is…….Ghosthead vs. Firewoman!
<Ghost and Fire both make their way to the podium, Fire takes her award and looks at it, a hint of sadness in her eyes>
FW: A Quinn wins feud of the year……again…….we are violent people I guess. <regaining her composure and looking at Ghost> I guess your whole Blood Moon prophecy didn’t quite work out the way you planned did it?
<Ghost stands there with an amused look on his face for a moment, then leans into the mic>
GH: Sometimes the Gods intentions are not as immediately evident as it seems
<with that Ghost takes his award and walks away. Fire remains for a moment looking at him, then holds her award up in the air and gets a loud cheer from the crowd. She shakes Tommy Rich and GM the Nate’s hand and heads back to her seat>
GMtN: Getting on with things, we come to Angle of the Year. An angle is an all-encompassing story, the meat of what makes wrestling great. We have had several great angles here, and this year was no different. Here t present Angle of the Year………hey, I see what we did here……Kurt Angle!
<a fresh out of rehab (I guess) Kurt Angle walks out onto the stage looking like a million bucks. The crowd all rises for him and gives him a great ovation. Angle smiles then steps to the mic>
KA: Thank you for that. I want everyone to know that I have finally decided to take care of myself. I am recovered and in the best shape of my life, and I can’t wait to get back in that ring and win the TNA World Heavyweight Title!
<huge applause>
KA: A hot angle is a huge deal for everyone involved, it energizes both the crowd and the wrestlers. When we can entertain the people by telling a story, a story that everyone is interested in, that is what makes wrestling great. Anyone can go out there and do triple backflip moonsaults, but not many can tell a story. Voice Over Guy, the nominees please
VOG: The nominees for Angle of the Year are: Firewoman’s Show Tune Plane Ride From Hell…….and the Redemption of Ecosystem and Stan Fulton
KA: And the winner is…….The Redemption of Ecosystem and Stan Fulton!
<Mai squeals with delight as Eco and Stan get up to accept their award. She gives them both a big hug and they head to the podium>
SF: This is truly an honor. My history in the OOWF is well documented, so I am not going to go into it all again. All I know is that tomorrow, the redemption is either complete, or I am done with the OOWF. It is really that simple
Eco: <still a little distracted> It has been an honor working with Stan. Tomorrow, we win those tag titles so I can continue working with Stan. Ok…….yeah……..um……..thanks
<Stan gives Eco a funny little look and they head back to their table>
GMtN: Now we are in the homestretch. First up, and this is a big one…….Match of the Year. The OOWF routinely puts on thousands of matches per year and during that year there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, that stand out as excellent examples of why the OOWF is the best wrestling fed in the world. Tonight, we honor the one match that stands out above all others. Here to present Match of the Year………HHH
<Mixed reaction from the crowd, HHH walks right up to the podium and stares at the crowd>
HHH: I haven’t forgot Las Vegas, but I am here to do a job
Voice from the Crowd: YOU NEVER DO THE JOB ASSHOLE!
HHH: Well said from the guy who lives in his mothers basement. I have had more great matches than I can count, so I feel like I can speak on this. Being in a great match takes amazing skill and tenacity. You have to know your opponent inside and out and be able to predict every single move that they are going to throw at you. They call me the Game because I am such a student of the game of wrestling, I know every give, every tell, every….
VFTC: SHUT UP HUNTER!
HHH: YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T NEED THIS! I CAME HERE TO THIS ONE HORSE TOWN TO DO YOU PEOPLE A FAVOR! I AM THE MAN THAT WILL BE RUNNING THE WWE ONE DAY! SHOW SOME RESPECT! I’M OUT OF HERE!
<HHH storms off in a huff, the crowd roars>
VOG: The nominees for Match of the Year are…..Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – I Quit Match, OOWF Elimination Chamber and Danny Taylor vs. Ghosthead – Falls Count Anywhere……….and the winner is…….Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – I Quit Match
<general applause as people watch Moose and Fire both walk to the stage to get their awards. Everyone wants to see if they will get along or kill one another, it really could go either way>
MHJ: Well, last year I said we would be up here accepting this award
FW: Even though you SHOULDN’T be……bet welcher
MHJ: Are you STILL harping on that?
FW: You lost. You were supposed to be gone
MHJ: then they rehired me. Now I’m back
FW: THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
MHJ: IT’S NOT MY FAULT!
<Moose and Fire go nose to nose, then both look behind them where a six year old boy is standing. The boy is initially expressionless, then looks at Moose and Fire and smiles. He turns and walks away without a word. Moose and Fire just stare at one another, then nod at one another and head back to their seats>
GMtN: Someone want to tell me what THAT was about? Seriously, you should see the file on those two…..amazing. Ok winding things down, our next award is the OOWF Tag Team of the Year award. The OOWF has had so many legendary tag teams, from the Dragons to Texpress, 3Piece Set, The Chickenshit Heels, Drink and Destroy, The Team From Down Under, you could go on all night. Tonight another tag team will be added to that pantheon of great teams. Here to present the award for Tag Team of the Year…..Sting and Lex Luger!
<big cheer for Sting and Luger. They come out and look around. Sting gives his little yell, and Lex pats him on the back>
Sting: IT’S GREAT TO BE HERE, YEAHHHHH! The biggest thing about being in a tag team is trust. You have to be able to trust your partner one hundred percent……
<just as Sting finishes that, Lex ATTACKS HIM WITH A STEEL CHAIR! LEX SLAMS IT ACROSS STING’S BACK SENDING HIM TO THE FLOOR!>
Lex: I WAS THE BETTER OF THE TWO! I WAS ONE OF THE HORSEMEN! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE LEX LUGER FACE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! WHAT ABOUT…….wait, what am I doing?
<Luger helps Sting back to his feet and dusts him off>
Lex: Sting, buddy, I am sorry…..I don’t know what I was thinking. Look, please, I want to tag with you again, we are partners right? Till the end!
Sting: OF COURSE LEX! I know that was an accident. You wouldn’t really hit me with a chair, partners! Sting raises Lex’s hand and the crowd cheers…….until Lex clotheslines him from behind sending him right back to the floor
Lex: Now, let’s hear the nominees!
VOG: The nominees for Tag Team of the Year are: The Saints of Sinners, Texpress and Salvation!
Lex: <having helped Sting up and apologized to him again, they hugged it out, so it’s all good> And the winner is, Sting, you wanna read this buddy?
Sting: Sure Lex…..opening the envelope, and the winner is……but Lex CLOTHESLINES STING AGAIN! SENDING HIM BACK TO THE FLOOR! HE PICKS UP STING AND HAS HIM IN THE TORTURE RACK!
Lex: <With Sting on his shoulders howling in pain> The winner is…….SAINTS OF SINNERS!
<Lex walks off the stage still with Sting in the rack, LD and Stank get on the stage and look at them, then one another, then the crowd>
Sta: you can now add the Saints of Sinners to that list of all-time great teams, though, if that surprises you, then you haven’t been paying attention.
LD: It’s about time Stank got his just due as a great tag team wrestler. He and Capslock had a legendary run as Drink and Destroy, he and Moose tore the ring down, but he never got the recognition he deserved. I know this is where we are supposed to be humble and all “aww shucks” but to hell with that, we are the two best wrestlers in the OOWF, solo or tag team, and this…….this just proves that.
<Stank and LD hold up their award and head back to the Saints table where they shake hands with Moose>
GMtN: Nothing better than a gracious winner! Our next award is for the most vile, despicable, hateful, no good, lousy person on the roster. The Heel of the Year award. Here to present the award……..Bray Wyatt
<Wyatt and the Wyatt family come out, Bray sits in a rocking chair and rocks while a member of the family holds the lantern behind him.>
BW: What is it about hatred that drives people. What is it about bad men that makes people so…..uneasy. You gotta understand…..without evil, there can be no good. Without hate……..there is no love…….without sin……there is no salvation. My daddy told me a story when I was a boy……we were out in a boat one day and I saw me a big ol gator, and I looked at my daddy and said daddy, I’m scared of that gator. My daddy looked at me and he said son…..why are you afraid of that gator, that gator hadn’t done you no harm. I said, daddy that gator is bad, they are evil. They kill, they destroy. My daddy looked at me and said, no son. No. That’s just a gator. He isn’t good, he isn’t evil. He’s just a gator, it’s all he knows. There are people like that too. You want to call them evil. You want to call them bad men……but they are just men, they are just what they are, doing all they know. Now……let’s hear the nominees
VOG: The nominees for Heel of the Year are: Moosehead Jack, Chloe and Ghosthead
BW: and the winner is…….a kindred soul……Moosehead Jack
<Moose gets to his feet and heads to the podium, the crowd boos him loudly. He shakes hands with Bray and the Family and steps to the mic>
MHJ: The fact that you are booing me just proves everything I have said since I came back to the OOWF. You boo me and cheer your precious White Hats, and yet, they have done everything we have done. You are nothing but sheep. One day, the wool will be pulled from your eyes and you will see things as they really are. And when that day comes I hope I am there to see it, all your illusions, shattered. I want to be there to watch you snap, I want to be there to watch you come to the realization that you are being fooled. I want to be there so I can look each and every one of you in the eyes and laugh.
<Moose snarls and takes his award and walks off the stage to an even louder chorus of boos, he gets to his seat and sits down with a smirk on his face>
GMtN: Can’t have a heel of the year without a face of the year, right? The fans have to have someone to cheer, someone who stands up and fights the wrongs of the world. While it may seem like it from time to time, the OOWF is no different. There are plenty of people who want to fight the good fight, and tonight we will honor those people. Here to present the award for Face of the Year, Jay Lethal!
<the crowd cheers for Lethal who comes out and fires them up some more. He finally gets to the podium after a long delay and speaks>
JL: It is an HONOR, and I mean an HONOR to be here presenting this award tonight. There is nothing better than walking through that curtain and performing in front of you, the wrestling fans! <cheers> You are the ones we do this for, you are the ones that pay our paychecks. Without you, Jay Lethal would be back in New Jersey working as an accountant or something, and Jay Lethal HATES accountants! <more cheers>. I always felt there was a certain way you should represent yourself, you are not only showing yourself to the world, but you are a representative of the company you work for. Be proud, do the right thing, always keep that in mind. Tonight, I am proud to give the award for Face of the Year, that tells me there are other people out there who know how to do the right thing. Now……Voice Over Guy can we get the nominees <as Randy Savage> OOOOOOOOOHHHHH YEAH! <huge pop>
VOG: The nominees for Face of the Year are: Mai Muyo and Danny Taylor
JL: Two great people, two great choices. And the winner is…….Mai Muyo!
<Mai jumps out of her seat and once again hugs Stan and Eco tightly, then heads to the stage. She and Lethal shake hands, then Mai grabs him in a big hug. She stands at the podium and looks out at the crowd, damn near with tears in her eyes>
Mai: this means the world to me, it really does. When I got here, I was little more than Juni’s sister, and let’s be honest, Juni has a bit of a………reputation. I think everyone just assumed I would follow in his footsteps, that if one sibling was that unstable, the other surely had to be. I think this award proves them wrong, I think I have shown that you can overcome difficult circumstances and still do things the right way. I am so proud to be recognized as Face of the Year, I want to thank each and every one of you, this, is, AMAZING!
<Mai bounces off the stage and heads back to her table, but she can hardly sit she is so excited>
GMtN: Ok, we are up to our final award. The most prestigious of them all. Wrestler of the Year. There are some great names already on the list, and tonight, we add one more. Winning wrestler of the year is no easy accomplishment, you have to be not only good, but the best for the entire year. Many show flashes of greatness, few can sustain it. Here to present the award for Wrestler of the Year is a man who WAS able to sustain greatness over a thirty plus year career. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Nature Boy, Ric Flair!
<2001 a Space Odyssey plays and Flair comes out from the back. The crowd rises as one and showers him with applause. Flair soaks it in for a moment, then struts to the podium>
RF: Asheville……..BY GOD…….North Carolina! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It is SO good to be back at the OOWF awards show! <cheers>. When they asked me if I would present Wrestler of the Year, I looked them right in the eyes and said, brother, there is nothing I would rather be doing that day. <more cheers>. Each and every year I look around the OOWF and I see more and more talent, I see better and better matches, I see things that make even the Nature Boy go WHOOOOOOOOO how the HELL did they do that! And let me tell ya brother, its just going to keep getting better and better and better. Now……tonight, someone’s life is once again going to be changed. Tonight you become one of the elite, one of the best, a legend. You become recognized by your peers as one of the best, the top dog, the alpha male. There is no taking that away from you, ever! Tonight, you become immortal! Now, Mr. Voice Over Guy, do your thing sir whooooooooooo!
VOG: whooooooooooo! The nominees for Wrestler of the Year are Matt Folz and Moosehead Jack
RF: And the winner is <slowly opening the envelope> We have us……….a tie! Moosehead Jack AND Matt Folz!
<the crowd erupts in cheers for Folz, and mostly boos for Moose. Moose just laughs at the people, Folz looks a little annoyed, perhaps because he has to share this award. They get to the stage, and just for precaution there is security between them>
MF: You know……as much as an honor as this is, finally being recognized as the best, I gotta say it is a whole lot bittersweet having to share this award with Moosehead Fucking Jack
MHJ: <laughing> What’s wrong Matty? Can’t stand it can you? You will always be the man who couldn’t beat Moosehead Jack
<Folz lunges at Moose but security easily keeps them apart and steers them back toward their tables. Folz is LIVID while Moose just laughs, climbs onto a table and holds the award over his head, soaking in the boos from the crowd>
GMtN: That does it for this year! Make sure you check out Hell on Earth 9, live tomorrow night from the Asheville Civic Center! For everyone, I am GM the Nate, goodnight!
-Once again it is time for me to thank all of you. Thanks to Sop for the great job he has done booking and recruiting. Thanks to everyone who has pitched in with ideas and promos, they are always welcome. I look back on this as we start our tenth (!) year and it just amazes me at the amount of creativity we have. You can honestly damn near read the OOWF like a novel, things flow so well, and that is because all of you take the time to make sure things make sense. It’s the little details like that that make this so much fun. Here’s to another great year, let’s make our tenth year our best yet!
-John
Past Winners[/u]
Wrestler of the Year
2013 – (tie)Moosehead Jack & Matt Folz
2012 – LD Williams
2011 - Stank
2010 – Alexander Darling
2009 - Poe
2008 - Stank
2007 – Stank
2006 – Thim Reynolds
2005 – Donovan Viper
Tag Team of the Year
2013 – The Saints of Sinners (Stank & LD Williams)
2012 – Texpress
2011 – Drink & Destroy (Danny Taylor & Outback Jack)
2010 - Texpress
2009 - kz
2008 – Phantos & Lucios
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – 3Piece Set
Face of the Year
2013 – Mai Muyo
2012 – Danny Taylor
2011 – Alexander Darling
2010 – (tie) Ravenna Blue & Alexander Darling
2009 - Ecosystem
2008 – (tie) Concrete TG and Phantos & Lucios
2007 – Firechild
2006 – Capellan
2005 – Hardbody Harris
Heel of the Year
2013 – Moosehead Jack
2012 – Chris Evans
2011 - Ecosystem
2010 – Moosehead Jack
2009 - Firewoman
2008 – Eric O’Mac
2007 – Stank
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – Donovan Viper
Breakthrough Star of the Year
2013 – Amazing Jos
2012 – Awesome Bill From Dawsonville
2011 – El Lobo Sangriento
2010 – Ravenna Blue
2009 – Chris Evans
2008 - Firewoman
2007 – Voltage
2006 – The Halfrican Americans
2005 – (tie) Firechild & Capellan
Match of the Year
2013 – Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – I Quit Match, Hell On Earth 8
2012 – (tie) Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – Blood Pond Street Fight & The OOWF 500th
2011 – Firewoman vs. Tytan – November Pain 3
2010 – (tie) Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Iron Person Match - OOWF Blood Bath in Paradise 3 & Chris Evans vs. Bryce Larson – Steel Cage Match –OOWF Judgment Eve 5
2009 – kz vs. The Team From Down Under – MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
2008 – OOWF Jobber Gauntlet
2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy – Unsanctioned Match
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw – Bamboo Scaffold Match
2005 – Canadian Dragon vs. UnderDawg – Ultimate Hell
Feud of the Year
2013 – Firewoman vs. Ghosthead
2012 – Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman
2011 – Texpress vs. The Flyin Hawaiians
2010 - Alexander Darling vs. The Quinn’s
2009 – Firewoman vs. Tytan
2008 – Moosehead Jack vs. Alexander Darling
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Angle of the Year
2013 – The Redemption of Ecosystem & Stan Fulton
2012 – The Rise and Fall of the New Guard
2011 – CEO Ecosystem
2010 – Firewoman’s Wedding
2009 – The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
2008 – Team Rick Goes to Jail
2007 – (tie) DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship & Drink & Destroy vs. The Heroes Guild
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Promo of the Year
2013 – (tie) a PCPL Night Before Christmas & Stank Blows Up Texpress’ Bus
2012 – Attitude Adjuster Directs Banned From Everywhere & Stank in a Training Montage - Moose
2011 – Booker Meeting - BC
2010 – Where I’m From - Ecosystem
2009 – The OOWF Goes Hollywood - Stank
2008 – A History of The Chickenshit Heels
2007 – Drink & Destroy Genealogy Promo
2006 – OOWF Airplane Ride From Hell
2005 – Donovan Viper’s Promo Before Dance of Death
Finisher of the Year
2013 – Phantasmagoria - Ghosthead
2012 – Double Elimination – Power & Glory
2011 – (tie)Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland, Dark Darling Rising – Alexander Darling, Stank-U - Stank
2010 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2009 – Crucifix Bomb - Poe
2008 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2007 – (tie)A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland & Intentional Disqualification – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – Call of the Wild – The Team From Down Under
2005 – The Chomp – GatorBait
Catchphrase of the Year
2013 – It’s MAI Time – Mai Muyo
2012 – I Can’t Believe I Work in This Shithole – Stan Fulton
2011 – Boom! – Danny Taylor
2010 – I’m Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL Save You - Ecosystem
2009 – Work Smarter, Not Harder - Ecosystem
2008 - HA! – Eric O’Mac
2007 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2006 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2005 - Trust Me – Moosehead Jack
Gimmick of the Year
2013 – Eco Sees the Joker
2012 – Banned From Everywhere
2011 – No Gimmick Needed – Stan Fulton
2010 – Eco the Savior
2009 – Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
2008 – Rabbxt Becomes Bunny
2007 – “Cowboy” Johnny Adrenaline
2006 – The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000
2005 – Donovan Viper
NPC (Non-Player Character) of the Year
2013 – Ellie May From Elijay
2012 – Voice Over Guy
2011 – Justin Sane
2010 - Selena
2009 - Selena
2008 – (tie) Carl From Fresno & Alexis Darling
2007 – No Award Given
2006 – Missy
2005 – Ric Flair
<we are back in the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in Asheville, North Carolina. The camera pans around and we see the place is decked out even better than it was last night for the Hall of Fame. The tables on the floor have all been set with linens and we see dinner has been served. Fans have been allowed in, and they fill the upper balcony. Voice Over Guy, take it from here!>
VOG: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the 2012/2013 OOWF Awards! We are coming to you live from the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in downtown Asheville, North Carolina! Tonight is the night we have all been waiting for, the crowning of this year’s award winners. And now, to kick things off this evening, please welcome the conscious of the OOWF, the toughest Priest since Father Mulcahey, the Champion of the Confessional, the Badass of Baptisms, Savior of Souls…….Father Lou!
<Father Lou walks out onto the stage under a spotlight, looking pious as ever gets a nice ovation from the crowd>
VOG: Please rise while Father Lou leads us in the OOWF prayer:
Our Hardcore who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy blades
Thy bed of nails, thy wounds be done with chairs or with barbed and razored wire.....
Give us this day our daily bled
and forgive us our shattered glasses
as we forgive those who use broken glass against us
And lead us not into garbage, but deliver us from mediocrity.....
VOG: Now, ladies and gentlemen please welcome out emcee for the night, the NEW man with the plan, straight from the PHWF all the way to the OOWF, GM Nate “Pun” Corbitt!
GMtN: Thank you for being here tonight Ladies and Gentlemen! This is my first time hosting the OOWF Awards show, and I couldn’t be happier about the whole thing. I honestly believe that, day in, day out, we have THE best wrestling in the entire world
<applause from the crowd>
GMtN: Tonight, we take the time to honor those amazing wrestlers. It is both an honor and a privilege to be here for this tonight. Now, without further delay, our first award is for Breakthrough Star of the Year, and I could think of no one better to present this award than the man who has seemingly come out of nowhere to take the WWE by storm. Ladies and Gentlemen, DANIEL BRYAN!
<Daniel Bryan walks out and the crowd immediately begins a YES! YES! YES! Chant. Bryan stands there for a moment and soaks it in, then bows graciously and steps to the podium>
DB: For the longest time I heard that I would never be good enough to make it in the “big time”. I always knew I had the talent, I was one of the longest reigning champions in Ring of Honor, but I was never big enough, fast enough, or had the right look for the big companies. I finally got my chance, not by having some flashy gimmick, but by just being the best wrestler I could be. I was finally given the opportunity to prove what I could do, and I took that opportunity and ran with it. Our award tonight goes to that same person, by winning the Breakthrough Star of the Year, you are poised to take that next step, you have earned the opportunity to be the next great OOWF wrestler. Now, Voice Over Guy……if you will….
VOG: The nominees for Breakthrough Star of the Year are…..Amazing Jos and Christian Carter
DB: <opening the envelope> And the winner is………AMAZING JOS!
<Jos gets to his feet and slaps hands with the fellow faces, and shoots Carter a look, who glares back at him. Jos makes his way to the mic and gets a nice ovation from the crowd>
AJ: It’s never easy going from one company to another. When you get to the new place, there are cliques and unwritten rules, and history between people that you have to learn real fast. When I came over from LBCW, I knew the learning curve would be steep, but I also know, being Amazing and all, that I could do it. Tonight, you guys just all validated that belief in myself. This year Breakthrough, next year, I am coming for WRESTLER of the year! Thank you!
<Jos holds up his trophy and heads back to his seat, he gets a huge round of applause from the wrestlers and the crowd>
GMtN: Thank you Daniel Bryan. And just a side note…..I was in a few of the meetings when the LBCW guys were brought in, Christian Carter, Jason Allen, Amazing Jos and Jeremy Punswick. There was some debate as to whether they would stop in PHWF first, then head to the OOWF, but after seeing their work, they were ready for the big time immediately, and I think they have all proven it. Good job to them, and good job to those who brought them to the OOWF!
<applause>
GMtN: Our next award is for NPC – Non-Player Character – of the year. That is basically someone who is general not a wrestler, but serves a vital purpose to the show, be it manager, valet, sidekick or whatever. Here to present the NPC of the Year award………..oh boy…….Ladies and Gentlemen, Zeb Coulter
<Zeb walks out and the crowd boos him loudly. He just smirks and walks to the podium>
ZC: Non-player character. You wanna know what that sounds like to me? That sounds like someone sucking at the teat of the OOWF! That to me, sounds like someone who is not earning their keep around here. The OOWF needs to stop subsidizing these people! If you keep allowing them to receive paychecks for doing nothing they are never going to learn! They will just mooch off the government like a bunch of damn welfare queens! And that brings me to my next point I……
<before Zeb can continue on his Fox themed rant, Voice Over Guy cuts him off>
VOG: And the nominees for Non-Player Character of the year are……LJ Bennett………Bridgette………The Joker…….and Ellie May From Elijay!
ZC: Cut off my mic huh…..bunch of Socialists. <opening the envelope> And the winner is……are you serious? A woman? Ellie May From Elijay
<Ellie May gets to her feet and heads to the podium where Zeb Coulter looks disgusted>
ZC: You know, you have a LOT of nerve Missy! You are out here taking up someone’s spot when you should be at home providing a good home for a husband and kids! You are all that is wrong with……
<before Coulter can finish, Ellie May kicks him in the gut and hits the POSSUM POUCH (package DDT) Coulter is OUT! Ellie May gets a standing ovation and stands and stares at Coulter as security drags him off the stage>
EMFE: You know, it is hard being a woman in this profession. I don’t consider myself on the level of the Firewomen and Alexis Darlings of wrestling, but I feel like I have my place. Keeping tabs on Bill and Justin is a full time job as you know. Speaking of Bill and Justin <Ellie May looks out at the crowd> Where are they?
<the spotlight focuses on the Banned From Everywhere table, which is now empty, save for Drunkey and Drunkette sitting there eating salad>
EMFE: They were JUST there! Ok, I gotta go call…….
<just then, two men in top hats, tails an monocles come out onto the stage carrying a box with a big bow on it. We immediately see it is Justin and Bill>
ABFD: Ellie May, you is the one who done gives us the smart thoughts and such. You make sure me and Justin is where wes supposed to be, and you keep us outta trouble……mosta the time
JS: When we heard you won this award, we wanted to get you something nice.
ABFD: you been wearin that burlap dress for a year or so now, and we thought it was about time you upgradified your wardrobe!
<they hand Ellie May the box and she opens it and pulls out……..a flannel shirt dress, complete with Ellie May From Elijay logo>
EMFE: Wow…..I……uh <Justin and Bill are both beaming with pride> I love it. Thank you boys!
<they share a group hug and the crowd cheers. They head to the side and GM the Nate comes back to the podium>
GMtN: touching…….really. Moving right along……our next award is Gimmick of the Year. For those of you watching for the first time, a Gimmick is something that sets another wrestler apart from the other wrestlers. Whether he be a rapper or a sociopath, it is something unique to that wrestler, something that makes them stand out. Here to present Gimmick of the Year ……..ED LESLIE! <crickets> BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE!
<mild applause>
BtbB: Great to be here at the OOWF Awards! <crickets> Ok…..well……uh……I hold the “distinction” of having the most gimmicks in the history of wrestling, so I think I know a thing or two about what it takes to get over as a gimmick! I mean really, the Booty Man? My run as “The Barber” was BY FAR the best run of my career, but it took a lot of failed attempts to get to that point. The whole point is, never give up, make the best of what you are given, and always do something that is an extension of your personality. Now……Voice Over Guy, let’s hear the nominees!
VOG: sure thing Zodiac. The nominees for Gimmick of the Year are ……Extreme Tommy Wilder……..Crazy Chloe………and Eco sees Joker
BtbB: And the winner is………ECO SEES THE JOKER!
<Eco looks stunned at his seat, but with the support of Stan and Mai he gets to his feet and slowly heads to the podium as the crowd wildly applauds him>
Eco: umm……..I am not really sure what to say……..I feel like this is kind of a fraudulent win here……I have heard people say that I often have conversations with Joker, but, I am not really sure what anyone is talking about…….I don’t see the Joker at all….
<just then Joker comes out across the stage clapping slowly>
Joker: So, you think they can’t see me?
Eco: <evidently talking to no one> No, they can’t, now go away!
Joker: How can I go away Juni……we are one and the same
Eco: <again, to no one, the crowd begins to get a bit restless> No! we are not! I turned the corner! I am better! I don’t NEED you!
Joker: you can’t live without me Juni. You might as well cut your leg off and try to tap dance, I am as much a part of you as your sister…..
Eco: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!
<Eco lunges for……something, and falls to the floor, throwing punches on……nothing>
Joker: WOOO HOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAH they are going to think you LOST your mind!
Eco: I DON’T CARE I…….
<Mai comes up onto the stage and puts her hand on Eco’s shoulder, breaking his concentration, he turns around to throw a punch at Mai, but pulls up when he sees it is her.>
Eco: Oh…..hi Mai
Mai: Juni……why don’t we go back to our seats……’kay?
Eco: <looking at the floor behind him> huh? Oh, yeah, sure……uh……thanks for the award and stuff!
<the crowd gives the most awkward applause ever and Mai leads Juni back to his seat. GM Corbitt comes back out>
GMtN: Just when you think you’ve seen it all…… ok let’s keep this going before things get weird. Our next award is Catchphrase of the Year. I think we all know what a catchphrase is, but for those playing the home version, a catchphrase is that phrase a wrestler says that the fans identify with, we all know the great ones, and that’s the bottom line, cause stone cold said so, if you smell what the Rock is cookin’ it goes on and on. A great catchphrase can be just as important as a great look and a great arsenal of moves. Now, here to present Catchphrase of the Year…….
IF YA SMEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAH…….WHAT THE ROCK……..IS……..COOKIN
<the crowd cheers (well most of them) as The Rock comes out to the podium and stares out at the crowd, then gives the people’s eyebrow, which draws more cheers. Finally the cheers die down and the Rock speaks>
R: FINALLY…….THE ROCK……HAS COME BACK TO……..ASHEVILLE! <cheers from the fans, the wrestlers look bored> In The Rock’s time in the wrestling he has had many many many catchphrases! The Rock is a CATCHPHRASE MACHINE! The Rock’s mind thinks of things, then they fall out of the Rock’s mouth and they are GOLD! Boots to asses! <fans chant BOOTS TO ASSES, the wrestlers roll their eyes> The Rock’s catchphrases make all other catchphrases look like roody poo candyass jabronies! So……Voice Over Guy, you want to say the nominations? YOU want to talk over the Rock’s beautiful voice? You want to UPSTAGE the Rock? Who in the blue moon of monkey farts do you think you are?
VOG: Well I….
R: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE! <the fans squeal, boos can be heard coming from the wrestlers> Now……Voice Over Guy……you may proceed
VOG: Uh huh, thank you Tooth Fairy…….the nominees for Catchphrase of the Year are…..”Then you haven’t been paying attention” by Stank and “It’s Mai Time” from Mai Muyo
R: THOSE are the nominees? The Rock can hiccup and come up with a better catchphrase than that! Ok <opening the envelope> and the winner is…….IT’S MAI TIME!
<Mai looks elated and gets up from her seat and hugs Stan and Eco and heads to the podium where the Rock does not seem to want to give up the mic>
R: Little girl, what in the blue hell is THIS?
Mai: Mr. Johnson……..do you remember 1998?
R: What? Of COURSE the Rock remembers 1998! The Rock was laying the smacketh down left and right! Sending jabronies to the SMACKDOWN hotel!
Mai: good! Yes! That was YOUR time……..but this is MAI TIME!
<the crowd explodes at this, the wrestlers give Mai a standing ovation, the Rock looks defeated and skulks away to pout>
Mai: I want to thank all of you for this. This year has been amazing for me. I won the intercontinental title and proved to little girls all over the world that women are just as good as men. You can do anything if you put your mind to it! I would especially like to thank Stan and Juni, their support has been amazing! Thanks!
<Mai bounces off the stage and heads back to her table jumping up and down with excitement with her award. More hugs, even Eco seems to have pulled himself together a bit. GM the Nate is back on the stage>
GMtN: Our next award is for Finisher of the Year. Every wrestler has a finishing move, their signature move that more often than not, ends the match. Tonight we are going to honor the best finisher in the OOWF. Here to present the award is a man who had one of the best finishers in all of wrestling. Ladies and Gentlemen…….Jake “the Snake” Roberts!
<Moose is the first to his feet, the rest of the crowd joins him. Jake walks out looking amazing. He smirks and soaks in the cheers for a minute, then steps to the mic>
JR: Bet you didn’t think you would see me here. <crowd roars> I know this is a little off script, but I would like to bring out the man that, literally, saved my life
FEEL
THE
BANG!
<DDP walks out onto the stage and Davin is the first on his feet. Everyone joins him as well and DDP gets his own standing ovation as well, he and Jake hug and wait for the cheers to die down>
JR: this man knows a thing or two about finishers too. The best finishers, like the Diamond Cutter or DDT is they can come out of nowhere, at anytime. It is a psychological weapon just as much as a physical weapon. Your opponent never knows when it is coming, so they have to be on guard the entire match. I have seen a lot of great finishers in my time, tonight we are going to honor another. Voice Over Guy
VOG: The nominees for Finisher of the Year are…..the Phantasmagoria from Ghosthead………..and the Chloe Corkscrew from Chloe
DDP: And the winner is…….this is one scary dude brother…….PHANTASMAGORIA from Ghosthead!
<Ghosthead gets up from his seat and silently walks to the podium he just stares at Jake and DDP and they take a step back. Ghost takes the award and looks at it, then looks out to the crowd, then gives a slight nod and returns to his seat without ever saying a word>
GMtN: A man of many words I see. Ok, moving on to Promo of the Year…….wait, HE is presenting this award? How does he keep getting on this show?
UBUNTU!!!
<the crowd cheers, the wrestlers groan as John Cena comes out on the stage. Cena stands there and soaks in the dueling cheers and boos>
JC: <as serious Cena> now…..I know we didn’t get off on the right foot a few years ago……and I know last year those insane Neal twins tried to cut me in half with Double Elimination…….I know that, and I am here to make things better. Tonight I want to present Promo of the Year because I pride myself on being one of the best promo men in this business…..
Wrestlers: YOU SUCK CENA!
JC: <going into yelly mode> I SUCK? I SUCK? LET ME TELL YOU WHAT SUCKS! WHAT SUCKS IS NOT GETTING THE RESPECT I DESERVE! I GO OUT THERE AND BUST MY ASS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR THE FANS! FOR THE PEOPLE THAT……
<Cena’s mic gets cut off again, we can still hear him yelling but Voice Over guy mercifully drowns him out>
VOG: The nominees for Promo of the Year are…..PCPL Night Before Christmas and Stank Blows Up Texpress’ Tour Bus
<Cena is still yelling about hustle, loyalty and respect or something, so Voice Over Guy just continues on>
VOG: And the winner is…….a TIE! Both win!
<Banned From Everywhere and Stank all get up from their seats and head to the stage where Cena is STILL yelling. Stank just looks at him and looks like he is going to deck him when Justin steps in front of him>
JS: Mr. Cena…….can I borrow five bucks?
JC: What? Five……yeah sure kid, whatever
<Cena hands Justin five bucks and is about to go back to screaming about something, or making gay poop jokes or something, but Justin gets a strange look on his face, the lights go out and Justin screams
DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWKKKK!
we hear thunder roll, a weed eater, a screaming eagle, a braying jackass and the Benedictine Monks chanting. When the lights come back on, John Cena is out cold on the floor, and everyone is standing there looking at Justin, who picks up the award and just smiles>
ABFD: Hell son…….how’d you……
<Justin is about to speak when Attitude Adjuster comes out to the stage>
AA: I would like to thank everyone for making this award possible. I seem my petition to rename award the Attitude Adjuster Promoificator of the Year Award has fallen on deaf ears. Oh man…..where do I start? I have so many people to thank……
<Justin moves toward AA, but Stank stops him, grabs AA and hits the STANK-U! AA is OUT! The group gathers up their award and steps over the bodies of John Cena and Attitude Adjuster and head back to their seat. GM the Nate comes back out and just watches as Cena and AA are dragged away>
GMtN: <sighing> another angry phone call from Vince…….ok next up, feud of the year. If the OOWF knows anything, it is how to have a good feud. Here to present this years Feud of the Year Award……Tommy Rich!
<the wrestlers applaud, most of the crowd just looks confused at the old guy with the funny haircut>
TR: I know I know, most of you are wondering who the hell I am. Let’s face it, in the last eight years they have gone through all the big name feuds in wrestling, I guess it was finally my turn <some laughter>. Well before most of you were born I had a feud with Buzz Sawyer. We tore at one another for months, but nothing was ever settled. Finally, we ended it in the “Last Battle of Atlanta” a last man standing cage match, considered one of the most brutal matches of all time. I am both proud of that, and a little embarrassed that I could be pushed so far. In some ways, that match, that feud, defined my entire career, more so than even winning the NWA title. Just remember, winning this is an honor, but don’t let it become who you are. Voice Over Guy, if you would give the nominees please
VOG: The nominees for Feud of the Year are……Ghosthead vs. Firewoman and Moosehead Jack vs. Tommy Wilder
TR: And the winner is…….Ghosthead vs. Firewoman!
<Ghost and Fire both make their way to the podium, Fire takes her award and looks at it, a hint of sadness in her eyes>
FW: A Quinn wins feud of the year……again…….we are violent people I guess. <regaining her composure and looking at Ghost> I guess your whole Blood Moon prophecy didn’t quite work out the way you planned did it?
<Ghost stands there with an amused look on his face for a moment, then leans into the mic>
GH: Sometimes the Gods intentions are not as immediately evident as it seems
<with that Ghost takes his award and walks away. Fire remains for a moment looking at him, then holds her award up in the air and gets a loud cheer from the crowd. She shakes Tommy Rich and GM the Nate’s hand and heads back to her seat>
GMtN: Getting on with things, we come to Angle of the Year. An angle is an all-encompassing story, the meat of what makes wrestling great. We have had several great angles here, and this year was no different. Here t present Angle of the Year………hey, I see what we did here……Kurt Angle!
<a fresh out of rehab (I guess) Kurt Angle walks out onto the stage looking like a million bucks. The crowd all rises for him and gives him a great ovation. Angle smiles then steps to the mic>
KA: Thank you for that. I want everyone to know that I have finally decided to take care of myself. I am recovered and in the best shape of my life, and I can’t wait to get back in that ring and win the TNA World Heavyweight Title!
<huge applause>
KA: A hot angle is a huge deal for everyone involved, it energizes both the crowd and the wrestlers. When we can entertain the people by telling a story, a story that everyone is interested in, that is what makes wrestling great. Anyone can go out there and do triple backflip moonsaults, but not many can tell a story. Voice Over Guy, the nominees please
VOG: The nominees for Angle of the Year are: Firewoman’s Show Tune Plane Ride From Hell…….and the Redemption of Ecosystem and Stan Fulton
KA: And the winner is…….The Redemption of Ecosystem and Stan Fulton!
<Mai squeals with delight as Eco and Stan get up to accept their award. She gives them both a big hug and they head to the podium>
SF: This is truly an honor. My history in the OOWF is well documented, so I am not going to go into it all again. All I know is that tomorrow, the redemption is either complete, or I am done with the OOWF. It is really that simple
Eco: <still a little distracted> It has been an honor working with Stan. Tomorrow, we win those tag titles so I can continue working with Stan. Ok…….yeah……..um……..thanks
<Stan gives Eco a funny little look and they head back to their table>
GMtN: Now we are in the homestretch. First up, and this is a big one…….Match of the Year. The OOWF routinely puts on thousands of matches per year and during that year there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, that stand out as excellent examples of why the OOWF is the best wrestling fed in the world. Tonight, we honor the one match that stands out above all others. Here to present Match of the Year………HHH
<Mixed reaction from the crowd, HHH walks right up to the podium and stares at the crowd>
HHH: I haven’t forgot Las Vegas, but I am here to do a job
Voice from the Crowd: YOU NEVER DO THE JOB ASSHOLE!
HHH: Well said from the guy who lives in his mothers basement. I have had more great matches than I can count, so I feel like I can speak on this. Being in a great match takes amazing skill and tenacity. You have to know your opponent inside and out and be able to predict every single move that they are going to throw at you. They call me the Game because I am such a student of the game of wrestling, I know every give, every tell, every….
VFTC: SHUT UP HUNTER!
HHH: YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T NEED THIS! I CAME HERE TO THIS ONE HORSE TOWN TO DO YOU PEOPLE A FAVOR! I AM THE MAN THAT WILL BE RUNNING THE WWE ONE DAY! SHOW SOME RESPECT! I’M OUT OF HERE!
<HHH storms off in a huff, the crowd roars>
VOG: The nominees for Match of the Year are…..Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – I Quit Match, OOWF Elimination Chamber and Danny Taylor vs. Ghosthead – Falls Count Anywhere……….and the winner is…….Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – I Quit Match
<general applause as people watch Moose and Fire both walk to the stage to get their awards. Everyone wants to see if they will get along or kill one another, it really could go either way>
MHJ: Well, last year I said we would be up here accepting this award
FW: Even though you SHOULDN’T be……bet welcher
MHJ: Are you STILL harping on that?
FW: You lost. You were supposed to be gone
MHJ: then they rehired me. Now I’m back
FW: THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
MHJ: IT’S NOT MY FAULT!
<Moose and Fire go nose to nose, then both look behind them where a six year old boy is standing. The boy is initially expressionless, then looks at Moose and Fire and smiles. He turns and walks away without a word. Moose and Fire just stare at one another, then nod at one another and head back to their seats>
GMtN: Someone want to tell me what THAT was about? Seriously, you should see the file on those two…..amazing. Ok winding things down, our next award is the OOWF Tag Team of the Year award. The OOWF has had so many legendary tag teams, from the Dragons to Texpress, 3Piece Set, The Chickenshit Heels, Drink and Destroy, The Team From Down Under, you could go on all night. Tonight another tag team will be added to that pantheon of great teams. Here to present the award for Tag Team of the Year…..Sting and Lex Luger!
<big cheer for Sting and Luger. They come out and look around. Sting gives his little yell, and Lex pats him on the back>
Sting: IT’S GREAT TO BE HERE, YEAHHHHH! The biggest thing about being in a tag team is trust. You have to be able to trust your partner one hundred percent……
<just as Sting finishes that, Lex ATTACKS HIM WITH A STEEL CHAIR! LEX SLAMS IT ACROSS STING’S BACK SENDING HIM TO THE FLOOR!>
Lex: I WAS THE BETTER OF THE TWO! I WAS ONE OF THE HORSEMEN! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE LEX LUGER FACE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! WHAT ABOUT…….wait, what am I doing?
<Luger helps Sting back to his feet and dusts him off>
Lex: Sting, buddy, I am sorry…..I don’t know what I was thinking. Look, please, I want to tag with you again, we are partners right? Till the end!
Sting: OF COURSE LEX! I know that was an accident. You wouldn’t really hit me with a chair, partners! Sting raises Lex’s hand and the crowd cheers…….until Lex clotheslines him from behind sending him right back to the floor
Lex: Now, let’s hear the nominees!
VOG: The nominees for Tag Team of the Year are: The Saints of Sinners, Texpress and Salvation!
Lex: <having helped Sting up and apologized to him again, they hugged it out, so it’s all good> And the winner is, Sting, you wanna read this buddy?
Sting: Sure Lex…..opening the envelope, and the winner is……but Lex CLOTHESLINES STING AGAIN! SENDING HIM BACK TO THE FLOOR! HE PICKS UP STING AND HAS HIM IN THE TORTURE RACK!
Lex: <With Sting on his shoulders howling in pain> The winner is…….SAINTS OF SINNERS!
<Lex walks off the stage still with Sting in the rack, LD and Stank get on the stage and look at them, then one another, then the crowd>
Sta: you can now add the Saints of Sinners to that list of all-time great teams, though, if that surprises you, then you haven’t been paying attention.
LD: It’s about time Stank got his just due as a great tag team wrestler. He and Capslock had a legendary run as Drink and Destroy, he and Moose tore the ring down, but he never got the recognition he deserved. I know this is where we are supposed to be humble and all “aww shucks” but to hell with that, we are the two best wrestlers in the OOWF, solo or tag team, and this…….this just proves that.
<Stank and LD hold up their award and head back to the Saints table where they shake hands with Moose>
GMtN: Nothing better than a gracious winner! Our next award is for the most vile, despicable, hateful, no good, lousy person on the roster. The Heel of the Year award. Here to present the award……..Bray Wyatt
<Wyatt and the Wyatt family come out, Bray sits in a rocking chair and rocks while a member of the family holds the lantern behind him.>
BW: What is it about hatred that drives people. What is it about bad men that makes people so…..uneasy. You gotta understand…..without evil, there can be no good. Without hate……..there is no love…….without sin……there is no salvation. My daddy told me a story when I was a boy……we were out in a boat one day and I saw me a big ol gator, and I looked at my daddy and said daddy, I’m scared of that gator. My daddy looked at me and he said son…..why are you afraid of that gator, that gator hadn’t done you no harm. I said, daddy that gator is bad, they are evil. They kill, they destroy. My daddy looked at me and said, no son. No. That’s just a gator. He isn’t good, he isn’t evil. He’s just a gator, it’s all he knows. There are people like that too. You want to call them evil. You want to call them bad men……but they are just men, they are just what they are, doing all they know. Now……let’s hear the nominees
VOG: The nominees for Heel of the Year are: Moosehead Jack, Chloe and Ghosthead
BW: and the winner is…….a kindred soul……Moosehead Jack
<Moose gets to his feet and heads to the podium, the crowd boos him loudly. He shakes hands with Bray and the Family and steps to the mic>
MHJ: The fact that you are booing me just proves everything I have said since I came back to the OOWF. You boo me and cheer your precious White Hats, and yet, they have done everything we have done. You are nothing but sheep. One day, the wool will be pulled from your eyes and you will see things as they really are. And when that day comes I hope I am there to see it, all your illusions, shattered. I want to be there to watch you snap, I want to be there to watch you come to the realization that you are being fooled. I want to be there so I can look each and every one of you in the eyes and laugh.
<Moose snarls and takes his award and walks off the stage to an even louder chorus of boos, he gets to his seat and sits down with a smirk on his face>
GMtN: Can’t have a heel of the year without a face of the year, right? The fans have to have someone to cheer, someone who stands up and fights the wrongs of the world. While it may seem like it from time to time, the OOWF is no different. There are plenty of people who want to fight the good fight, and tonight we will honor those people. Here to present the award for Face of the Year, Jay Lethal!
<the crowd cheers for Lethal who comes out and fires them up some more. He finally gets to the podium after a long delay and speaks>
JL: It is an HONOR, and I mean an HONOR to be here presenting this award tonight. There is nothing better than walking through that curtain and performing in front of you, the wrestling fans! <cheers> You are the ones we do this for, you are the ones that pay our paychecks. Without you, Jay Lethal would be back in New Jersey working as an accountant or something, and Jay Lethal HATES accountants! <more cheers>. I always felt there was a certain way you should represent yourself, you are not only showing yourself to the world, but you are a representative of the company you work for. Be proud, do the right thing, always keep that in mind. Tonight, I am proud to give the award for Face of the Year, that tells me there are other people out there who know how to do the right thing. Now……Voice Over Guy can we get the nominees <as Randy Savage> OOOOOOOOOHHHHH YEAH! <huge pop>
VOG: The nominees for Face of the Year are: Mai Muyo and Danny Taylor
JL: Two great people, two great choices. And the winner is…….Mai Muyo!
<Mai jumps out of her seat and once again hugs Stan and Eco tightly, then heads to the stage. She and Lethal shake hands, then Mai grabs him in a big hug. She stands at the podium and looks out at the crowd, damn near with tears in her eyes>
Mai: this means the world to me, it really does. When I got here, I was little more than Juni’s sister, and let’s be honest, Juni has a bit of a………reputation. I think everyone just assumed I would follow in his footsteps, that if one sibling was that unstable, the other surely had to be. I think this award proves them wrong, I think I have shown that you can overcome difficult circumstances and still do things the right way. I am so proud to be recognized as Face of the Year, I want to thank each and every one of you, this, is, AMAZING!
<Mai bounces off the stage and heads back to her table, but she can hardly sit she is so excited>
GMtN: Ok, we are up to our final award. The most prestigious of them all. Wrestler of the Year. There are some great names already on the list, and tonight, we add one more. Winning wrestler of the year is no easy accomplishment, you have to be not only good, but the best for the entire year. Many show flashes of greatness, few can sustain it. Here to present the award for Wrestler of the Year is a man who WAS able to sustain greatness over a thirty plus year career. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Nature Boy, Ric Flair!
<2001 a Space Odyssey plays and Flair comes out from the back. The crowd rises as one and showers him with applause. Flair soaks it in for a moment, then struts to the podium>
RF: Asheville……..BY GOD…….North Carolina! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It is SO good to be back at the OOWF awards show! <cheers>. When they asked me if I would present Wrestler of the Year, I looked them right in the eyes and said, brother, there is nothing I would rather be doing that day. <more cheers>. Each and every year I look around the OOWF and I see more and more talent, I see better and better matches, I see things that make even the Nature Boy go WHOOOOOOOOO how the HELL did they do that! And let me tell ya brother, its just going to keep getting better and better and better. Now……tonight, someone’s life is once again going to be changed. Tonight you become one of the elite, one of the best, a legend. You become recognized by your peers as one of the best, the top dog, the alpha male. There is no taking that away from you, ever! Tonight, you become immortal! Now, Mr. Voice Over Guy, do your thing sir whooooooooooo!
VOG: whooooooooooo! The nominees for Wrestler of the Year are Matt Folz and Moosehead Jack
RF: And the winner is <slowly opening the envelope> We have us……….a tie! Moosehead Jack AND Matt Folz!
<the crowd erupts in cheers for Folz, and mostly boos for Moose. Moose just laughs at the people, Folz looks a little annoyed, perhaps because he has to share this award. They get to the stage, and just for precaution there is security between them>
MF: You know……as much as an honor as this is, finally being recognized as the best, I gotta say it is a whole lot bittersweet having to share this award with Moosehead Fucking Jack
MHJ: <laughing> What’s wrong Matty? Can’t stand it can you? You will always be the man who couldn’t beat Moosehead Jack
<Folz lunges at Moose but security easily keeps them apart and steers them back toward their tables. Folz is LIVID while Moose just laughs, climbs onto a table and holds the award over his head, soaking in the boos from the crowd>
GMtN: That does it for this year! Make sure you check out Hell on Earth 9, live tomorrow night from the Asheville Civic Center! For everyone, I am GM the Nate, goodnight!
-Once again it is time for me to thank all of you. Thanks to Sop for the great job he has done booking and recruiting. Thanks to everyone who has pitched in with ideas and promos, they are always welcome. I look back on this as we start our tenth (!) year and it just amazes me at the amount of creativity we have. You can honestly damn near read the OOWF like a novel, things flow so well, and that is because all of you take the time to make sure things make sense. It’s the little details like that that make this so much fun. Here’s to another great year, let’s make our tenth year our best yet!
-John
Past Winners[/u]
Wrestler of the Year
2013 – (tie)Moosehead Jack & Matt Folz
2012 – LD Williams
2011 - Stank
2010 – Alexander Darling
2009 - Poe
2008 - Stank
2007 – Stank
2006 – Thim Reynolds
2005 – Donovan Viper
Tag Team of the Year
2013 – The Saints of Sinners (Stank & LD Williams)
2012 – Texpress
2011 – Drink & Destroy (Danny Taylor & Outback Jack)
2010 - Texpress
2009 - kz
2008 – Phantos & Lucios
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – 3Piece Set
Face of the Year
2013 – Mai Muyo
2012 – Danny Taylor
2011 – Alexander Darling
2010 – (tie) Ravenna Blue & Alexander Darling
2009 - Ecosystem
2008 – (tie) Concrete TG and Phantos & Lucios
2007 – Firechild
2006 – Capellan
2005 – Hardbody Harris
Heel of the Year
2013 – Moosehead Jack
2012 – Chris Evans
2011 - Ecosystem
2010 – Moosehead Jack
2009 - Firewoman
2008 – Eric O’Mac
2007 – Stank
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – Donovan Viper
Breakthrough Star of the Year
2013 – Amazing Jos
2012 – Awesome Bill From Dawsonville
2011 – El Lobo Sangriento
2010 – Ravenna Blue
2009 – Chris Evans
2008 - Firewoman
2007 – Voltage
2006 – The Halfrican Americans
2005 – (tie) Firechild & Capellan
Match of the Year
2013 – Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – I Quit Match, Hell On Earth 8
2012 – (tie) Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman – Blood Pond Street Fight & The OOWF 500th
2011 – Firewoman vs. Tytan – November Pain 3
2010 – (tie) Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Iron Person Match - OOWF Blood Bath in Paradise 3 & Chris Evans vs. Bryce Larson – Steel Cage Match –OOWF Judgment Eve 5
2009 – kz vs. The Team From Down Under – MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
2008 – OOWF Jobber Gauntlet
2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy – Unsanctioned Match
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw – Bamboo Scaffold Match
2005 – Canadian Dragon vs. UnderDawg – Ultimate Hell
Feud of the Year
2013 – Firewoman vs. Ghosthead
2012 – Moosehead Jack vs. Firewoman
2011 – Texpress vs. The Flyin Hawaiians
2010 - Alexander Darling vs. The Quinn’s
2009 – Firewoman vs. Tytan
2008 – Moosehead Jack vs. Alexander Darling
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Angle of the Year
2013 – The Redemption of Ecosystem & Stan Fulton
2012 – The Rise and Fall of the New Guard
2011 – CEO Ecosystem
2010 – Firewoman’s Wedding
2009 – The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
2008 – Team Rick Goes to Jail
2007 – (tie) DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship & Drink & Destroy vs. The Heroes Guild
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Promo of the Year
2013 – (tie) a PCPL Night Before Christmas & Stank Blows Up Texpress’ Bus
2012 – Attitude Adjuster Directs Banned From Everywhere & Stank in a Training Montage - Moose
2011 – Booker Meeting - BC
2010 – Where I’m From - Ecosystem
2009 – The OOWF Goes Hollywood - Stank
2008 – A History of The Chickenshit Heels
2007 – Drink & Destroy Genealogy Promo
2006 – OOWF Airplane Ride From Hell
2005 – Donovan Viper’s Promo Before Dance of Death
Finisher of the Year
2013 – Phantasmagoria - Ghosthead
2012 – Double Elimination – Power & Glory
2011 – (tie)Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland, Dark Darling Rising – Alexander Darling, Stank-U - Stank
2010 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2009 – Crucifix Bomb - Poe
2008 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2007 – (tie)A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland & Intentional Disqualification – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – Call of the Wild – The Team From Down Under
2005 – The Chomp – GatorBait
Catchphrase of the Year
2013 – It’s MAI Time – Mai Muyo
2012 – I Can’t Believe I Work in This Shithole – Stan Fulton
2011 – Boom! – Danny Taylor
2010 – I’m Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL Save You - Ecosystem
2009 – Work Smarter, Not Harder - Ecosystem
2008 - HA! – Eric O’Mac
2007 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2006 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2005 - Trust Me – Moosehead Jack
Gimmick of the Year
2013 – Eco Sees the Joker
2012 – Banned From Everywhere
2011 – No Gimmick Needed – Stan Fulton
2010 – Eco the Savior
2009 – Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
2008 – Rabbxt Becomes Bunny
2007 – “Cowboy” Johnny Adrenaline
2006 – The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000
2005 – Donovan Viper
NPC (Non-Player Character) of the Year
2013 – Ellie May From Elijay
2012 – Voice Over Guy
2011 – Justin Sane
2010 - Selena
2009 - Selena
2008 – (tie) Carl From Fresno & Alexis Darling
2007 – No Award Given
2006 – Missy
2005 – Ric Flair