MidWeek Mayhem (05/14) Live! From Presque Isle, Maine

[wyattcox]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Presque Isle, Maine
May 14, 2014

OOWF World Tag Team Title Triple Threat Rematch
Suicide Kings vs. Banned From Everywhere vs. Texpress

Winner Gets an OOWF Intercontinental Title Shot Next Week
Firewoman vs. Stank

Non-Title Fatal Four Way
Ecosystem vs. Shane Tuska vs. Power vs. LD Williams

Chloe vs. Mai Muyo
Rory Albright vs. Chris Evans
Moosehead Jack & Stan Fulton vs. DK Murphy & Alexander Darling
Ghosthead & Matt Folz vs. Christian Carter & Alexis Darling
Miranda Williams vs. Tommy Wilder


Card subject to Stephen King revealing that we are all just aliens

[wyattcox]

<we cut to GM the Nate's office after the carnage has been cleared up. Nate is clearly agitated about something....>

GMtN: What do you mean they are ALL in jail? ALL of them? You cannot be serious. Breaching the peace? Inciting a riot? Attempted HOMICIDE? Have you never SEEN our program before? Yes.........yes.......FINE. When will you know? We have to be in Maine in a few days.........FRIDAY? You cannot be serious! <sighing> Ok, fine.....I will get our lawyers up here to help straighten it all out.......yes.......yes.....look, just do yourself a favor.....segregate them......yes from the rest of the population......no, trust me when I tell you I am NOT overreacting........no.....oh....yeah, you better segregate them from one another as well......yes, faces and heels.......fine.....fine....how much security do you have?.......ok then, its on your head

<GM the Nate slams the phone down and sits down in his chair hard, grabs the flask and drinks deeply then puts his head back and closes his eyes. The camera pans around and we see a grinning Eric O'Mac sitting there>

EOM: Well that certainly went well.....

GMtN: Eric.....I am going to slowly open my eyes, when I open them, you had better not be sitting in that chair in my office

<Eric smirks and gets to his feet and heads to the door>

EOM: It's a sinking ship Corbitt.....even the rats know it, they have all turned on one another

<Eric ducks out of the room as the flask comes at his head. We hear him laughing as he heads down the hall. GM the Nate puts his head on the desk and sighs deeply as we fade>

[wyattcox]

Murphys Law

*Wally B. King, Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, and several of Slaughter Beach's finest law enforcement officers are smoking Cuban cigars when DK Murphy is brought out from a holding cell by 2 more officers. DK has a number of bruises from his match. The police chief jumps to his feet*

Chief: Mr. King, I can assure you this did not happen on my watch!

WBK: Relax, chief, we all know this happened during the match.

Chief: I appreciate your understanding.

WBK: No worries, mate. I know you will put my small donation to the police benevolent fund to good use.

Chief: Thanks! Officers, remove that man's handcuffs immediately!

WBK: I've got it, chief.

*Wally removes a "burglarious tool" from his pocket, takes the cuffs off DK, and waves goodbye to the officers as he, DK, and Sgt. Buddy Lee depart*

[wyattcox]

Firewoman

Fire is SITTING~! in the Darling Luxury Suite. Angry.

FW: So...what the fuck was that?

L: What?

FW: Keeping me in here when everyone else was in the end of the show brawl.

L: I don't know...maybe because Chloe would have been there and you're avoiding her because you're sca--

Lucky stops abruptly seeing Firewoman's glare.

FW: Alex was there! And Miranda, and Mai and I needed to have their backs and you locked me in here!

L: Yes I did. Because that's my job!

FW: Your job is to--

L: MY JOB IS TO LOOK OUT FOR YOUR BEST INTERESTS! If you had gone out there, Chloe would have made a bee-line for you.

FW: So, I can--

L: You can not. Have you seen yourself this week? MAYBE you would have been fine, OR you would have curled up in a ball and then Alex and Mai and Miranda and whomever else would have come to YOUR aid, making them vulnerable, and then you'd be all guilty over that. So I chose angry Fire over emo Fire.

FW: ....You're fired.

L: No, I'm not. I'll just get our stuff.

FW: When was my match changed?

L: Huh?

FW: Wasn't it a fatal four-way?

L: No.

FW: Are you sure?

L: Yes.

FW: I should have probably double checked before I promoed.

L: Well, you've had a rough week.

FW: Yeah....

Lucky goes to get stuff and take it to the car, while Firewoman sits down and ... reflects, I guess.

[wyattcox]

Power

(It's Thursday morning, and Sunny and the bodyguards are in the lobby of the Slaughter Beach Police Station and Bait and Tackle shop. Power is escorted out and given a piece of paper to sign. Her eyes open wide when she reads it, then signs it and leaves with the rest of the entourage. She starts to speak to Sunny but Sunny holds up a finger. They enter the SUV and they take off. Sunny falls into Power's arms, but it appears Power has some questions.)

Power: Diplomatic Immunity?

Sunny: I still have some influence. Your father would be proud.

Power: But how...

Sunny: Hush, Wifey! The people in Delaware are a little more open minded than other places. Put that to rest for now.

Power: I gotta tell ya, it was funny hearing Chloe shriek when they let me out and she had to stay behind.

Sunny: Let's take our victories where we can get them.

Power: I lucked out last night. Eco had me. If it hadn't been for those damned Kings....

Sunny: Now love...

Power: And that bitch Lexie Darling. She's been nothing but a thorn in the side of the Cox family since we came here. Honestly, I wanna...

Sunny: Let Stank and Fire fight over her now, love...

Power: Her time is coming. Do I get another match with Eco this week?

Sunny: Sort of. A Fatal four way with you, Eco, Tuska, and....LD.

Power: Oh, this will be fun. I need to prove myself against the only real wrestler in the Saints.

Sunny: Your time is coming. Just relax. Did they feed you?

Power: Bologna sandwiches. Bleah.

Sunny: Here.

(Sunny hands Power a protein shake and a bottle of water.)

Power: Just what I needed.

(Sunny sits back as Power gulps the shake and the water. Power makes a face after drinking the water. )

Power: I hope it tastes better in Maine.

Sunny: Maybe. Now come here and get some rest.

(Power curls up with Sunny who plays with Power's hair for a few minutes, then starts whispering in Power's ear as the cameras fade.)

[wyattcox]

*GM Nate Corbitt walks by the the large jail holding room where the heels are being held. He grips the bars from outside the large cell and waits for everyone to acknowledge his presence. Moosehead Jack and Stank are the last to look up and as their conversation trails off, Nate addresses the room.*

GMtN - Alright people listen up. Our lawyers are working on getting you all free, but you're still on the clock and there have been no promos except for the ones who have already gotten out, or who weren't brought here in the first place.

Carter - Who got out?

GMtN - That's not important.

LD - Of course whoever they were are white hats because all the heels are still here!

Evans - What are THEY doing in here then?

*The camera pans over to Ghosthead and Matt Folz. Nate consults his clipboard.*

GMtN - According to my sheet... they are heels.

Carter - Bullshit.

Allen - They get more cheers than any of the rest of us.

Matt - Why don't you shut the fuck up, Jason?

Allen - WHY don't YOU kiss my hairy-

Tuska - SHHHHHHHHH!

*Everyone stares at Tuska who is sitting on the floor in a quiet corner. Several seconds of silence tick by.*

Evans - Why is HE here?

GMtN - ENOUGH! It doesn't matter! I need promos! Why don't you start, Chris. What you got for me?

Evans - Uh...

GMtN -

Evans - Sure... why the Hell not.... I am the greatest-

*Everyone groans loudly cutting off Chris Evans words.*

Fulton - Give it a rest, Chris. Nobody wants to hear that garbage.

Evans - You can all go to Hell.

GMtN - *sigh* Fine... Carter why don't you start?

*Christian Carter glares over at Ghosthead who is also sitting on the floor at another quiet corner, palms resting on his knees, eyes closed, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings. Carter then darts his eyes over to Matt Folz and he steps up to him, flanked by Jose Reyna and Jason Allen. Matt Folz doesn't move an inch.*

GMtN - No violence, gentlemen. We're still trying to get you out of here.

Carter - You are going to wish you had stayed back in Australia with that pretty little bitch of a wife of yours.

Matt - The only bitch around here that's mine... is you... bitch.

*Carter cracks the most insincere smile one can conjure. You just know he wants to throwdown, instead he turns to face Ghosthead while giving Matt the one finger salute. He strolls over to Ghost and stares down at the OOWF World Champion.*

Matt - And you... you know you can't beat me Jared Mann.

*Ghosthead speaks without opening his eyes which sort of startles everyone seeing as how he hasn't said a word since getting locked up with the rest of them, sitting quietly in this corner the whole time.*

Ghost - You still live in the imaginary world of your feeble mind, Christian Carter. I am the OOWF World Champion. That fact alone shows I can beat you. I have beaten you... and will continue to do so until either you acknowledge reality... or there is nothing left of you to acknowledge it.

Carter - Whatever Jared. This is the New World... MY World! And I've decided not to allow you to live in it.

Albright - Okay MY turn!

Evans - What's HE doing in here??

Albright - Look personally I could give a damn about which side of the building I'm on. Whether this side or the other I'm here for ONE thing. I want what HE'S got *points at Ghosthead* The OOWF World Championship. If I have to go through heel like you Evans-

Evans - Fat fucking chance, my friend!

Albright - ... or any of the faces over there... I'm going to do it!

Carter - First. Don't ever interrupt me. Second. If you're going to be facing anyone for that World Championship, it will be me!

Evans - Right. Cause it's your world, correct? Give me a fucking break. Everyone in here and out there knows... I am the next World Champion. That is as long as our shit GM puts me in the MATCHES I DESERVE!!!

Matt - Deserve?? Really? Why don't you shut the Hell up, Chris? The only thing you DESERVE is a punch in the face!

Evans - Come over here and do it, then?

GMtN - Don't you move, Folz.

Matt - Wasn't going to waste my time anyway.

Reyna - *mocking* Wasn't gonna waste my time, anyway. Why don't you shut your stupid face?

Matt - Oh look who's decided to speak. Mr. fancy pants, the choad formerly known as AMAZING. You haven't done anything to deserve that name.

Reyna - Onslaught Champion, two time and current Tag Team Champion, bitch so lick my ass, ese.

Matt - Yeah, Yeah, talk to me when you've done all of that and beaten everyone in this room.

Stank - Guys, guys, would you all just please shut the fuck up. You're giving me a headache.

Evan - Ha. At least I haven't been powerbombed by a woman.

Stank - Fuck you, Chris. I slipped.

Evan - Slipped? Get the fuck out of here! Slipped.

Stank - Yeah.. like my fist is about to slip and punch you in the balls.

GMtN - ENOUGH! No one is punching anything! Sheesh I just want promos! Let's go. You! Stan Fulton. What you got for me?

Fulton - Uh... I'll punch Alex so hard... that I will punch him hard?

*Nate rolls his eyes.*

GMtN - Great. How bout you, slick?

Allen - Me?

GMtN - Yes you!

Allen - Uh... who are we facing?

*Nate flips some pages on his clipboard.*

GMtN - Banned from Everywhere and Texpress.

Allen - Oh THEM again. Uh... We don't like them. We will win.

Reyna - Ditto.

GMtN - *sigh* How bout you, Fozzy?

Tuska - SHHHHHHH!

GMtN - Right. Slim?

Fulton - What? I already said-

GMtN - Not you, Bubba.. him?

Stank - Me?

GMtN - Yeah!

Stank - Fuck you Nate. I'm not jumpin through your hoops.

GMtN - C'mon Stank! You out of everyone in this cell should have a promo for me!

Stank - How do my merchandising numbers look?

*Nate flips through the pages on his clipboard.*

GMtN - Uh... 10% lower than Firewoman's.

Stank - Are you SHITTING ME?

GMtN - Good promo might help.

Stank -

GMtN -

Stank - Well... as most of you know, I used to be a Vice President in a fortune 500 company back in Atlanta. I was approached, at a bar, by some local indy oowfers and they hooked me up with oowf agents. What most people DON'T know is that my great, great, great grandpa was part of the Online Onslaught Wrestling Federation back when "online" really MEANT something...

A piano song plays as the scene fades to the old west circa 1867. A train whistle blares in the distance. Soon the train approaches, then roars by the camera. There are 5 passenger cars, the middle car is an open air one with a wrestling ring set up. We cut to inside the second passenger car.

Conductor - I'm telling you Mistah Scaia this idear of yours is dangerous and irrisponsible. I mean wrestlin... on a Train? Fo pity's SAKE!

--------------------

LDW - STOP!

Stank - What?

LDW - You can't just rehash an old Promo of the year and expect-

Stank - YES I can! Think of the kids... the KIDS! I can see it now. Old West D&D t-shirts! Model trains! Cowboy Capslock and Stank action figures! Kids like that shit.

LDW - Wouldn't Drink & Destroy get all that comes from that?

Stank -

LDW -

Stank - You might be right. Nate?

GMtN - Just DO the PROMO!

Stank - Nope. Not until I know for sure.

GMtN - DAMN IT!

*Nate senses tension mounting between Christian Carter and Matt Folz. He calls over the guard.*

GMtN - Yeah. Let's see about getting the tweeners out of there and into their own cells.

Guard - What the fuck is a tweener?

FADE

[wyattcox]

Spider McNulty appears on the screen, being led past holding cell after holding cell by a jailer at the Slaughter Beach City Jail. The jailer stops in front of a cell where Shane Tuska is being held. Tuska is alone in the cell, seated on the floor, his legs crossed and his hands resting on his knees. His eyes open and almost register shock as he spies McNulty stepping up to the bars of the cell. 

McNulty: Shane. You remember me?

Tuska quietly nods once.

McNulty: You take any licks in that brawl?

Tuska registers no response. 

Jailer: Nah, he was the only one not fighting.

McNulty: Then what's he doing in here?

Jailer: Guilt by association, I'd guess. 

McNulty grunts and shakes his head. He looks back at Tuska.

McNulty: I'm willin' to bail you out, Shane, but there's a condition. 

Tuska doesn't move.

McNulty: I'll bail you out and get you to Maine for the next card, but you gotta let me manage you. 

Tuska's lip curls and his brows furrow. He straightens his posture and shuts his eyes. The jailer stifles a chuckle, and McNulty shuffles closer to the bars. The jailer lays a hand on Spider's shoulder to corral him back away from the cell, but McNulty no-sells and leans in, his face almost in the cell with Tuska.

McNulty: You don't have any friends in that locker room, Shane. You're in here all alone, and for some stinkin' reason, you ain't willin' to fight outside of the ring. You run the risk of being in here for a while, with some shady characters. I'm giving you a way outta here, and a lift to the next town. Just like the old days, eh, "Ricky"?

Tuska's eyes open and he leaps to his feet. He's almost instantly in Spider's face. The jailer gasps and tries again to pull McNulty back, but the big veteran is not having it. He doesn't flinch as Tuska comes within an inch of him, his face the picture of rage. McNulty smirks and then moves back a pace.

McNulty: That got you up, good. Listen kid... you owe me. I never asked you for a dime when we were runnin' the roads back home, makin' towns and sawin' wood. I knew you were gonna be good, and I knew you'd pay up when you got the rub. Well, Shane, I'm gettin' out of the ring and gettin' in to the other side of the business, and you're going to my little thoroughbred. You take me on as manager, and we make a little run right to the top of this shithouse territory. 

Tuska grimaces and exhales sharply. His heads drops and he's motionless for a second. Then suddenly, his left arm shoots through the bars, aimed right at McNulty's grizzled face. Tuska's fist stops short of Spider's nose by the space of less than an inch. McNulty frowns and the guard steps up, his baton drawn. McNulty puts his big paw on the chest of the guard and forces him to stop his advance. Tuska's fist, squeezing tight, slowly unclenches. The hand opens and awaits McNulty's. The two former tag team partners shake hands. 

McNulty: Thattaboy, Shane. Let's kick some ass.

Tuska steps back, and the jailer, still wide-eyed, shakes his head. He sheathes his baton and reaches for his keys. McNulty throws his head back and laughs. 

McNulty: This is gonna be fun.

Fade.

[wyattcox]

Rory Albright

Somewhere on the beach (assuming Presque Isle has a beach), Rory Albright and Carrie Weiss are watching the sunset.

RA: I've never been this close to the top of the world, but here I am. The road has brought me here to bum-f*ck Maine. But I'll tell ya what. Everywhere I go, everywhere this long road takes me, the people... they're all the same.

Times change. Fads come and go. Religions spring forth and die out. But one thing never changes. People. The bloodlust that drives us all is unchanging and eternal. From the gladiator games in Rome, to the ball games of the Maya, to the Greatest Hits of the NFL, hell, to those who watch NASCAR for the crashes. People. Want. Violence.

Well, if the people want blood, they shall have their blood! Who says Rory Albright, the Sun King, doesn't give the people what they want!

Chris Evans, you're proving to be quite the little bitch. I mean, man, I'd heard stories, but dude, it took Carrie here smacking you to look me in the eye and face me like a man. And I beat you. Wake the f*ck up, brother. You're supposed to be a champion. Show me what you got. Please, give me a challenge.

But just remember. You come to the Sun King, you come to get your ass kicked! 'Cuz that's what I do. Lionheart? Tissue melts in the heat. Synch 'em up, Chris. Come ride the wave and face your destiny. The end.

Carrie looks to the camera, winks, and mouths a kiss before looking back to the setting sun.

[wyattcox]

Moosehead Jack

<the Saints walk out into the parking lot of the Slaughter Beach police department. Moose stretches and breathes in the cool morning air and actually looks to be......in a good mood? The rest of the Saints? Not so much>

MHJ: Man smell that morning air!

Sta: Why the hell are you so happy? We just spent three nights in a jail cell

MHJ: Come on boys, you act like you've never spent the weekend locked up! It wasn't so bad, they fed us, we had a cot to sleep on.....could have been worse

LD: Could have been better

SF: Could have NOT been in jail

<Moose breathes deeply again and heads toward the car>

MHJ: No boys, its a good day. Open road, sun shining, on our way to Presque Island. When we get there......I am going to get the biggest steak the state has, a gallon of whiskey........and I'm going to kill DK Murphy

<Moose exhales happily and climbs into the car, the rest of the Saints just stare at him for a moment, then shake their heads and find their rides as we fade>

[wyattcox]

Firewoman


Firewoman and Lucky are mostly done getting settled in the new Suites. Fire appears to have returned from a work out, and Lucky hangs up after making some calls.

FW: Well?

L: They're almost all out. Just really waiting on processing.

FW: I assume Nate is grateful for the legal help?

L: Not enough to give me a stipend, but yes.

FW: Too bad...it's been kinda nice. Whole place to myself.

L: Well, except for various staff and production people and...stuff

FW: They've pretty much all been in the arena itself or in production meetings. No waiting for a weight bench, I get all the coffee in catering...

L: Must be like that Twilight Zone episode.

FW: Huh?

L: Television show that had weird and ironic stories. Sometimes scary and creepy. This one though a guy just wanted to be left alone so he could read books. Something happens, I can't remember what, and everyone on earth dies or vanishes or something except him. Just him and a big ol' library.

FW: Cool.....that would be awesome.

L: Well, yeah, except his glasses fall off his face or something and he steps on them, breaking them. So now he has a life where he has much time as possible, no one to bug him, he can read every book ever written...except he can't because his glasses are broken.

FW: Wow...

L: That's the gist of it...the details I might have forgotten but that scene at the end where he is surrounded by books, holding his broken glasses...just chilling...

FW: That sounds...awesome.

L: I think you're missing the point..

FW: No, I'm not. Everyone gone? None one to bug you and you can do what you always dreamed of?

L: Yeah, but you CAN'T because your glasses are broken.

FW: So get new ones.

L: Huh?

FW: Dude...if EVERYONE is gone, that means no cops, right?

L: Well, yeah...

FW: No one monitoring burglar alarms, no security guards...no one.

L: I don't get--

FW: So you just break in to a drug store and get whatever pair of those reading glasses you need. They have them in all sorts of strengths so you just keep trying them on until you find one that works, then bag the whole bunch, and head back to the library. Problem solved.

L: ....

FW: ....what?

L: That's...actually, I don't know if that ever occurred to anyone before.

FW: You could break into an optometrist's office. They probably have pairs not picked up yet, one of those might work. Hell, all the equipment is there. You could freakin' get a book on optometry, read it with the magnifying glasses, and then make your own.

L: .....

FW: What?

L: That's actually....well, brilliant really, but it's not quite...I mean the lesson of the episode was--

FW: That people are dumbasses? Waaaaaay ahead of you on that--

L: No it's like a be careful what you wish for kind of--

FW: Pfft...fuck that noise....wish for what you want and then make it work for you. That's the key to survival, dude.

Fire starts to leave. Lucky is pretty much speechless, but does manage to ask:

L: Where are you going?

FW: No one around? I'm going to get MORE coffee and then eat as many cimmonin raisin Sassanach muffins as I want.

Fire leaves Lucky looking puzzled and amused.

[wyattcox]

Chloe

(The Sunday night house show in Mars Hill Maine is continuing as Mai Muyo has locked in the Florida Key on the much bigger Vance Cannon who screams but finally taps out. “Hero” begins playing over the PA as Mai climbs onto the ropes when the lights go out. When the lights come back on the Draculs have pulled Mai off the turnbuckles and are stomping a mudhole in her.

I think you know what plays next)

(Chloe Neal comes skipping down the aisle with a bucket and her branding iron. She sits them both in the corner, grabs a microphone and climbs into the ring. She tells the Draculs to pick up Mai, who tries to get free and go after Chloe.)

Chloe: At ease, Sailor Moon. I just wanted to come out here and explain to you that what you're getting tonight is nothing compared to what you'll be getting Wednesday night at Mayhem. I've proven in the past to be your better, now what I need you to do is to get back with your bracelet buddy and tell her she needs to sign on the dotted line. Unless she's too scared...

Mai: (Screaming, off mike) She's not scared of you.

Chloe: Oh, little Mai, then why do you think she's refusing to face me.

Mai: (Chloe holds the mike up to Mai) She...she...she doesn't want to.

Chloe: (Laughs) You know very well, Mai Little Pony, that Fire knows she just doesn’t measure up anymore. She can't beat me, and you know it. For that, neither could you.

Mai: God help you Chloe. You know God can help you.

Chloe: No, I don't need anyone's help. I need you to carry a message to Firewoman. She needs some changes...perhaps some new makeup...

(Chloe spins around and hits a backhand slap with that casted hand and Mai folds. Chloe tells the Draculs to pick her up again, and Chloe hits an awkward Discus punch with the casted hand. The fans boo as Chloe has the Draculs pick up Mai who is bleeding from the head. Chloe rakes her hand across the blood and wipes it on her shirt.....)

Chloe: Baptized in the blood of the innocents. Just a message for your friend. Make sure she gets it, won't you?

(Chloe has the Draculs drop her in the middle of the ring as she walks to the corner, drops the microphone and picks up the bucket. She turns the bucket over on Mai and yellow paint now covers Mai and the middle of the ring. Chloe flings the empty bucket out of the ring and grabs her branding iron. She has no chance to do anything else, though, as Power and Miranda come running down the ramp. Vlad and Radu intercept Power and Miranda but Chloe and Tavian head out through the crowd. Chloe whistles, and the other two Draculs retreat as well as Power and Miranda check on Mai. Other trainers come from the back and after Power is sure Mai is being taken care of Power picks up the microphone.)

Power: SIS! CHLOE! You're not going to keep this up! Sooner or later, you'll get yours! Bet on it!

(Power drops the microphone and checks with the medics. Power and Miranda help them pick up Mai as the cameras fade.)

[wyattcox]

Stan Fulton

FADE in on the Saints locker room after the Sunday house shows. Chloe comes back in swinging the empty paint bucket. Looking up over his reading glasses, Stan Fulton puts down his copy of the Wall Street Journal. Moose is sitting in his usual chair with a bottle of whiskey on the floor next to him and a half-tumbler full of the amber liquid. A lit cigar is in his other hand.

LD and Stank are playing a vicious game of Scrabble off to the side.

C: “Now she’s Mai Little Yellow Pony.”

SF: “Red.”

Chloe stops and turns around.

C: “What?”

SF: “Water, corn starch and red food coloring. Would have looked like blood. Buckets full.”

Chloe ponders this as she gets her own glass and pours herself a drink. Fulton starts to sing quietly to himself.

SF: (very quietly) “Red rain is coming down; red rain is pouring down; red rain is coming down all over me; I'm bathing in it. Red rain coming down, red rain is coming down, red rain is coming down all over me...”

Chloe looks askance at Fulton and then down at Moose.

MHJ: “Pay him no mind. He’s slowly slipping away. The mind can only take so much before it snaps. He’s been through a whole lot in the past year. Putting on those masks and playing up to something he never was takes its toll. The rest of us have always been who we were. We’ve never claimed to be different. He did. All those personas... keeping them straight...”

Moose shakes his head in disbelief.

MHJ: “I don’t know how he did it. Guess his psyche wasn't as strong as we all thought.”

C: “What do we do?”

MHJ: “He’s a Saint. We stand with him and do what we can to help him. Until then we all kick ass together. Starting Wednesday night. He and I destroy Darling and Murphy.”

Moose gets a mean glint in his eye over this. Even more so than usual.

C: “Anything you need to help, I’m there for you, Jack.”

Moose smiles and gets up and walks towards LD and Stank.

LD: “Exequy is not a word.”

Sta: “Funeral rites. Look it up. I win. And I'm taking this with me.”

Stank stands up and leaves, taking the Scrabble board.

MHJ: “Very appropriate for this week. Darling and DK will get their exequies.”

FADE.

[wyattcox]

Moosehead Jack

<Stan wanders to the other side of the locker room, Moose watches him and gets up and follows. Stan sits in the chair and reaches into his bag and pulls out a well-worn axe handle and looks at it and seems to get a little lost. Moose speaks, Stan just looks up and stares into space>

MHJ: There are two things you want Stan. The first, is acceptance. The Saints have your back. You are home. What you were before, what you did before, who you were before, makes no difference now. Now, you are "The Crusher" Stan Fulton. The baddest big man to ever step foot into the ring.

<Stan continues to stare into space, hearing Moose's words but not reacting>

SF: The second

MHJ: <leaning in a little closer> the OOWF World Heavyweight Title. Right now, there is one man standing in your way. One man who believes he is better than you. One man who denigrates you, and marginalizes you because you are not him. He is no better than the idiot fans who mock you. He is no better than the others who take you for granted. Alexander Darling wants what you want. And he wants you to fail. He is just another person trying to take what you have earned. This week.....win, lose or draw......this is your chance to show Alexander Darling that you are NOT him. You are the goddamn Crusher, Stan Fulton, and well.......he just isn't.

<Moose slaps Stan on the back and walks away. Stan stares for a moment, then a slight smile spreads across his face. He looks down at the axe handle and slowly nods his head and we fade>

[wyattcox]

Firewoman

Alexander Darling enters the Darling Luxury Suites in exactly the kind of mood you’d expect of someone who just spent three nights in jail and then had to go straight to a house show. He turns to shut the door and then turns back around and runs right into a state of the art treadmill. He looks around and the camera pulls back slowly to reveal the common area of the suite is no longer full of couches, dining table, entertainment center, and wet bar. Those things are still there, but the ones that weren’t already against the wall have been pushed back to make way for the aforementioned treadmill, and also several weight machines, full dumb bell and barbell racks, a flat bench, an adjustable bench, a… well, you get the picture. There’s kind of a path for easy access to Firewoman’s temple room. Alex looks around a minute, as if he’s mentally calculating the cost of everything. Firewoman comes out of said temple room, and greets him with the casualness of someone greeting their partner after the work day.

FW: Oh, hey honey.

AD: Hi there.

FW: How was jail?

AD: Oh you know….kept in a pen with people who want to kill me.

FW: Did you get a cot?

AD: I did. Three squares a day too. Just like the brochure said.

FW: Brochure? They have those?

AD: Fire…

FW: Hm?

AD: What is all this?

FW: Exercise equipment.

AD: Ah, I see, I see. And what is it for?

FW: Really? It’s for—

AD: STOP!

Alex holds up a hand signifying Fire should indeed stop, which she does abruptly.

AD: Let me rephrase in way that doesn’t assist you in evading the issue. Why is there exercise equipment in here to allow you to exercise in here, when we already have a gym that travels with us at OOWF’s expense that was PERFECTLY fine for you to use last week?

FW: Um….

You can see the wheels turning in Fire’s head to figure out how to answer that.

AD: Lisa—

FW: Alex it’s been so awesome the last few days. No one in the exercise room not wiping the benches down, getting their stinky sweat all over the place, not having to wait for Stank to do *mock deep Stank voice* “one more set” *end Stank voice* that he’s not going to get to for fifteen minutes because he’s busy sharing war stories with the jobbers….I can workout whenever I want without anyone bothering me.

AD: Anyone? Why the treadmill, Fire? You don’t need to wait for anyone for your cardio.

FW: Because, it’s…um….getting hot out and … um…

AD: …..

FW: *suddenly angry* Oh, you know the fucking reason.

Firewoman storms away and slams the bedroom door. Lucky appears from behind the squat rack.

L: I see you’ve discovered our new décor. Like it?

AD: Hardly.  This is to avoid running into Chloe, right?  What were you thinking? Isn’t this kind of enabling?

L: It would be very enabling had I actually done this. But I didn’t. I left to do some of the grocery shopping and when I came back this was all here. She either put it together or more likely sweet-talked some PAs into helping her.

AD: Doing it for her.

L: Same diff.

AD: *smirking a little at that* Well, it can’t stay out here. When we move to the next one, have it put in .. well, the extra room.

L: You mean…Lexie’s?

AD: If they keep giving us the extra room we may as well use it. Not like she’s going to be any time soon.

Lucky nods as Alex goes to his bedroom to attempt to get some sleep.

[wyattcox]

Matt Folz

We see Chloe leaving the Saints locker room when she's taken down with a Singapore Cane shot to the back. Matt Folz holds the cane to her throat.

MF: Here's the thing: I have absolutely no interest in getting involved with a feud with the Saints. You want to burn this company down, I could give a shit. But Mai is a friend of mine, very possibly my only one, so when she's attacked I tend not to take it so well. Now, I think we can each agree we don't want a war here, so I'm more than willing to call this even. Attack her again for no reason however, next time I won't be so forgiving.

Folz lets Chloe up and walks away as we......FADE

[wyattcox]

Murphys Law

*DK Murphy and Wally B King are in the Destroyitarium, watching the replay of the Sunday house show. Local heel Clamdigger Clem is in the ring for the first match of the night and DK is announced as the opponent. The Gauntlet begins to play and DK strides through the curtain, followed by Wally. Halfway down the aisle DK breaks into a sprint and storms into the ring, taking Clem off his feet with a clothesline. The bell rings and DK hauls Clem up for a Chomp, then makes the pin.*

Wally: 17 seconds. Not bad.

DK: Not bad?

Wally: I've seen Empty Team do it in single digits, mate.

*Alex Darling has joined them*

AD: I don't think you'll need that stopwatch this week, Wally.

WBK: Right. This could be a long evening.

AD: DK, my concern is whether you can maintain focus on the big picture of a tag team match, given your issues with Moose.

DK: I get what your saying. To be honest, if he had a different partner it would be more difficult.

AD: How so?

DK: I want to hurt Fulton as well.

[wyattcox]

LD Williams

**SFJ#47 comes across L.D. Williams, sitting on the floor outside the Saints' locker room and staring at the wall.**

SFJ#47: "L.D.? Are you okay?"

LDW: "Hmmm? Oh, yeah...fine."

SFJ#47: "Worried about your match?"

LDW: "Hardly."

SFJ#47: "Going into a four-way match with an injured neck is-"

LDW: "I've been in four-way matches before. And my neck is fine."

SFJ#47: "The ice pack says otherwise."

LDW: "No way in hell is anything Tommy Wilder did to me going to affect how I wrestle - ever. Eco, Tuska, Power. Just another day at the office."

SFJ#47: "Well, if it's not your match, is it Miranda? Chloe's made it clear she's going after all of Fire's friends."

LDW: "I've made my peace with that. One of the few things my daughter and Chloe agree on is that I should stay out of it. Much like Moose, all I can do is deal with the fallout."

SFJ#47: "So, if it's not your match and it's not Miranda, why are you sitting in the hallway staring at the wall?"

**L.D. reaches behind him and opens the door to the locker room. The hallway is filled with the sounds of loud braying until he closes it.**

LDW: "You try rooming with a donkey that drinks more than Stank and is more temperamental than Stan."

SJF#47: "You could return her to BfE."

LDW: "Stank likes his gimmicks - and he's more temperamental than the donkey."

<fade>

[wyattcox]

Chloe

(Chloe returns to the locker room after her interaction with Matt Folz and grabs a Red Horse beer. Moose is playing Jenga, Fulton is reading the latest issue of Forbes and LD and Stank are still playing Scrabble in the corner <and not the Firewoman approved edition> with Drunkette kibitzing and noshing on some sour mash as Chloe plops down in a comfortable chair and sighs.)

Chloe: Whoda thunk it. Fatt Rolz defending Mai Little Pony.

Moose: What's he do?

Chloe: Jumped me from behind with a Kendo Stick, held it across my throat while he threatened me never to do it again or he's hit me so hard he'd hit me very hard, then let me go.

Moose: Really? You think we should do something?

Chloe: Oh, I don't know. Maybe we could powerslam him through a bed, stomp on his ankle a few times, then dangle him by that ankle from a fifth floor window.

Stank: Didn't we already do that?

Chloe: Just following your lead, Mr Mann.

Fulton: Matt doesn't like anyone. Weird.

Chloe: Well, he knows he has no chance at Heel of the Year. Maybe he's going down a different road.

Moose: Matt Folz, Faciest Face that ever Faced. HA!

LD: Careful, Eric might get you for gimmick infringement.

Chloe: Maybe it was him.

Moose: Him who, Eric?

Chloe: Maybe he ran over Danny.

(Moose sweeps all the Jenga pieces off the board.)

Moose: DAMMIT, CHLOE!

Chloe: (bowing her head) Sorry Jack.

Moose: I NEED TO KNOW WHO DID IT! THEY HAVE TO ANSWER TO ME!

LD: Easy, Moose. We'll get them.

Fulton: You could check with Eric Bishoff?

Stank: Or Kevin Nash?

Chloe: Or hire a private investigator?

(The door to the locker room busts open and in walks....Attitude Adjuster?)

AA: At ease everyone. Someone run over by a Hummer? Trying to find out who's behind a mysterious heel organization? Need to know if your top face is sleeping with a heel? You say you need a private investigator? You need someone to solve a mystery? Just call Alan Capps, Private Investigator at 1-800-SNOOPER. We can help you locate missing trucks, missing doors, missing donkeys....

(Stank and LD stand up and chase AA out the door as he screams like a little girl.)

Chloe: That was different.

Moose: What about Mai?

Chloe: I will hit her so hard...she will bleed very hard.

Moose: No..

Chloe: I'll kick her so hard her children will have bruises?

Moose: No...

Chloe: How about I just kick her ass in the ring?

Moose: That works.

(Chloe finishes her beer and starts picking up Jenga pieces from the floor as we fade.)

[wyattcox]

Tuska

The house show in Mars Hill is still in full swing. Shane Tuska is in the ring with the British Colombian Bulldog, and Spider McNulty is standing at ringside with a smirk on his face. Tuska's been in control for the entire match. As the camera closes in, he hits The Silencer and get the pin. Before the ref can raise his arm, Tuska slides out of the ring under the bottom rope and starts toward the back, walking past McNulty without acknowledging him. McNulty chuckles and falls in behind Tuska. 

The scene switches to the locker room, as Tuska and McNulty arrive post-match. Tuska immediately sits in the corner, his head down. McNulty takes a seat on a bench. 

McNulty: That was a nice little warm up for Mayhem. We need to talk about this Four Way. 

Tuska doesn't look up, or say anything. 

McNulty: Hmph. I guess I should say I need to talk, eh Shane? 

Silence. 

McNulty: Well, whatever. We'll work on speaking another time. Right now you can just listen. A four way dance ain't exactly a situation that invites strategy, but I got a few ideas. Remember that four way I worked in Oregon, with what's his nam--

McNulty is interrupted by a knock at the door of the dressing room. Tuska doesn't move. McNulty stands and opens the door. Standing at the entrance is a blonde haired young man dressed in a black sweatshirt and jeans. He's much shorter and smaller than Spider, but stands tall with a posture of anger about him. He locks eyes with McNulty and doesn't drop his gaze when the big man steps closer, holding the door close to potentially block Tuska's view of the visitor. Tuska, meanwhile, stares disinterested at the floor.

Visitor: (seemingly frustrated) You wanted to see me?

McNulty: Easy kid, yeah. Let's talk in the hallway.

The two men step into the hallway. McNulty looms over the smaller, younger man, but this fellow doesn't seem to be intimidated. 

McNulty: Steve. Steve Gary, right?

Visitor: Yeah.

McNulty: From Iowa?

Gary says nothing for a moment, a sort of knowing grimace forming on his face. McNulty nods.

McNulty: Yeah, Iowa City, right? 

Gary: Yeah.

McNulty: That's a good ol' town. Wrestled there, I don't know, a hundred times?

Gary again says nothing. He doesn't back down, but the feeling is that he's lost the upperhand of the conversation somehow. 

McNulty: You're new here, right? A just hired PA, fresh from film school... In Iowa. Go Hawkeyes, right, kid?

Silence.

McNulty: I'm new here, too. Yeah, I've been in a lot of locker rooms, but none quite so... interesting as this one. The OOWF is kind of a crazy place, eh, kid?

Gary: (clearly frustrated) What do you want, Mr. McNulty?

McNulty: (laughs) Easy, Hawkeye, let's keep it civil. I know who you are, and I know why you're here. 

Gary: I'm here because you asked for me.

Spider takes a quick step closer, a very stark contrast to his usual deliberate gait. His voice thickens.

McNulty: No, you're here because you're after my boy Tuska. 

Gary steps back a pace, his confidence slightly shaken. He fumbles for a response but McNulty cuts him off.

McNulty: You know, when I found out Tuska was here, I did a little research. I watched the footage from last few weeks. And I thought, 'Wow, where did the OOWF get all this footage from?' It ain't like the midwest indy scene is even on their radar. I did a little more digging and found out who supplied all that stuff. It was you, Stevie boy. You've got hours and hours of stuff, all about Shane Tuska. 

Gary: (somewhat weakly) Ricky Easterling, too.

McNulty's head pulls back a bit at that, but his smirk quickly returns to his face.

McNulty: Ah ha, true enough. You've got all the hits from the good ol' days. Did your whole senior project on Tuska... Easterling. You dug up all the old bones, huh, Stevie?

Gary stands his ground, sneering slightly.

Gary: Damn right. I know all about your boy in there. And I intend to show to show everyone--

McNulty: Lower your voice, kid.

Gary: --that Tuska is more of a monster than they already know! I'm going to ruin him, I'm going to make su--

McNulty grabs Gary tightly by the shoulders, his big mitts nearly swallowing the young man's frame. 

McNulty: You'd better watch what you say, kid, these might be your last wor--

Gary: What's wrong, Spider? Don't want the anyone to know that Shane Tuska killed a man in the ring?

McNulty slaps Gary across the face. The smaller man is staggered, but keeps his feet. 

McNulty: Keep your voice down, meat.

Gary wipes his mouth, undeterred. 

Gary: That guy, Ramrod? His name, his real name, was Walter Gary. He was my brother, asshole. 

McNulty drops his hands. He straightens slightly, but says nothing.

Gary: Ricky Easterling, Shane Tuska, whatever you call him... he's a murderer as far as I'm concerned. My brother died in the ring because of your boy. I'm going to ruin him, plain and simple. 

Gary spits and turns to leave. McNulty doesn't try to stop him, just tugs a bit on his beard.

McNulty: Just be aware, kid. Tuska? He's my brother. That word gets tossed around locker rooms quite a bit for a laugh these days, but I'm as old school as old school gets, and I take it very seriously. And I'll do whatever I can to keep you quiet. 

Gary: (walking out of frame) Fair enough, Spider. 

McNulty watches Gary leave. He looks around and goes back into the dressing room. The camera slowly pans back. The dressing room is at the corner of two intersecting hallways- the one that Gary just exited to, and the Hallway of Random Encounters, where Matt Folz appears, his kendo stick in one hand and half a sandwich from catering in the other. His eyes are a bit wide. He looks down the one hallway and then at the dressing room door. "Shit..." he says, through a mouthful of sandwich. 

Fade.

[wyattcox]

Firewoman

Firewoman is sitting in the Darling Luxury Suites at the table, looking at a chessboard that is midgame. There’s a polite knock on the door and Fire immediately tenses and looks at Lucky and Alex. Lucky sighs and goes to answer.

AD: I doubt she’d actually come HERE, and if she did, I doubt if she’d knock so politely.

FW: I know….

Lucky has wound his way around the exercise equipment to the door. He opens it and it’s Mai Muyo, bearing some of the scars of her run in with Chloe.

MM: Hi, Lucky…is Fire here?

L: Not sure where else she’d be. C’mon in.

Lucky leads Mai through the maze of equipment to where Fire is sitting. Fire stands up quickly when she sees Mai’s condition.

FW: Oh my gods who….wait….

Mai nods.

FW: Mai, I’m so sorr—

MM: Eh, I’ve had worse. I’m fine, really. You don’t need to worry or feel guilty.

FW: Still, I should go…and….

MM: Stop. Juni was right… *Alexander bristles at the mention of Ecosystem* …there’s no need for you to do anything before you’re truly ready. I can take care of myself. I’m a former Intercontinental champion after all.

FW: You still should be.

MM: And I will be again. After you beat Stank and then beat…uh….

Mai glances uneasily at Alex.

FW: It’s okay….he knows I’m focused on taking the championship from Lexie, no matter what.

MM: Okay…besides, you don’t need to retaliate. Folz took care of it.

FW: He…he did?

MM: Yeah, but he didn’t need to.

Lucky steps out of the room abruptly, getting out his cell phone and dialing. Fire is temporarily distracted.

FW: Well, just..PLEASE…watch yourself tomorrow night. She wants to use you to get me to fight her. And I’m not—

MM: You’re not ready, I get it…It’s fine. You will be soon though, I just know it. So…who’s playing chess with you. Alex?

FW: Pfft, no…Alex won’t play chess with me because I beat him all the time.

AD: *from behind a weight bench* She cheats.

FW: I do NOT.

AD: You cheat at EVERYTHING. Even computer solitaire.

FW: You just say that whenever I beat you. Remember the go-karts?

AD: No.

FW: When I lapped you.

AD: No.

FW: Twice?

AD: You used your wiles to make those teenage boys get in my way so I spun out.

FW: Uh huh. Chess is the one game I do NOT cheat at. Ever. Trust me.

Alex glares.

FW: Anyway, mostly I just play against myself.

Fire spins the board, showing that she doesn’t even have to get up.

MM: Wow, Juni does that too. That whole dissociative thing, huh?

FW: Yeah….

MM: Well, enjoy, I just wanted to show you I was fine.

FW: Thanks.

Mai gets up to leave as Lucky comes back in and nods at Fire. Mai turns back around.

MM: You’ll get past this Fire, I know you will.

Fire nods and Mai leaves. Fire goes back to studying her chessboard.

[wyattcox]

Matt Folz

During a break between matches at a house show, we suddenly hear "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" fire up and Matt Folz makes his way down to the ring to huge applause. He nods to the crowd and grabs a mic from the ring announcer.

MF: I guess since I'm a face now that I'm supposed to come out here and say something like "I look forward to going out there tomorrow night and putting on a match of the Year candidate, go out and put on a pure wrestling exhibition." And you know what? In 90 percent of my matches, I go out and look to do just that. I love going into the ring and going move for move, counter for counter. I LOVE that, doing just that is why I got into wrestling in the first place. But tomorrow night.... FUCK all of that.

Because tomorrow night, I get a chance to get my hands on 2 people who've made my life hell for the past few months and have laughed about it. Christian, I'm not surprised you've been too chicken shit to answer my challenge for a one on one match but tomorrow you can't hide from me. I will get my hands on you, and I will make you feel immense pain believe that. And Alexis? Oh, don't think I've forgotten about you. I haven't forgotten who cost me my World Championship in the first place, and I haven't forgotten that it was you who slapped my wife. I will make you bleed just as much as your boyfriend, don't worry.

See as much as I enjoyed beating the hell out of Jose, Jason and the masked man with that baseball bat.....they were actually the lucky ones. I took care of them quick. But you two? Oh no, with you two, I'm going to take my time. Tomorrow night isn't going to be a wrestling match, it's going to be legalized assault. And it's just the start.. right now I don't care about titles, I only care about breaking every fucking bone you two have.

Folz throws the mic down and walks out of the ring as his theme plays.

[wyattcox]

Ecosystem

Ecosystem stumbles into the arena wearing a tuxedo and dark sunglasses. He bumps into - literally bumps into - an interviewer.

Eco: Oh fuck, not now.

Interviewer: Ecosystem! We haven't seen you all week -

Eco: I've been busy.

Interviewer: Chloe attacked your sister.

Eco: Yeah. She's fine. I'll hit Chloe so hard that I hit her very hard at some point.

Interviewer: ...Rough night?

Eco: Rough week. Maine goes hard.

Interviewer: So tonight, you have a non-title Fatal Four Way with Power, Shane Tuska, and LD Williams-

Eco: Fuck, seriously?

Interviewer: ...Yes?

Eco: Fuck. Wait, you said non-title?

Interviewer: Yeah.

Eco: Good. Because I do not like my fucking chances. Now take me to the Advil. Do we have morphine around?

FADE

[wyattcox]

LD Williams

**A situationally innocent SFJ and her Ninjacam crew are walking by the Saints of Sinners' locker room when the door explodes off it's hinges. The door is propelled by the body of L.D. Williams, who rolls on landing, just barely avoiding being impaled by...a scrabble piece tray? Williams is shaking, but after a moment it's clear he's just trying to control his laughter. We hear Stank roar from inside the locker room.**

S: "Goofy Canadian Bastard!"

LDW: "It's not my fault you agreed to paly with a Canadian Dictionary."

S: "If you're going to pronounce it 'a-boot', you spell it with two O's!"

LDW <winking at the camera> "And he wonders why I think he's temperamental."

**Williams shoves the SFJ out of the way as a scrabble board flies out the door and embeds itself in the wall.**

S: AND THERE'S NO GOT-DAMN U IN HARBOR!!"

<fade>

[wyattcox]

Tommy Wilder

The INC catches Wilder outside on the Arena –

TW: Hey there camera dude. How's it hanging?

INC: ….

TW: Oh, right. Sorry – guess I should say somethin' about this week.

INC: Camera moves up and down

TW: Hey! Shout out to Danny. Dude, sorry it took a week to get you some well wishes. Shit's kinda gotten crazy, but some of us are still fightin' the good fight. Get better, find out who road rashed you and put their lights out. You want some back-up, you just give me the high sign, 'K?

TW: And 'Randa – guess we gotta save the show again! Like always, I know you got the chops – not going to make THAT mistake. So let light it up, Chica! Win or lose, I promise I'll give you one heck of a ride!


And finally, to the rest o' my buds. Fire, Chad and Zane, Murphs, Power, Mai, all of ya.

I got your backs. Miss Crazy Pants, Moosie and the rest of the Saints, Carter and the Kings, don't matter.

[wyattcox]

Miranda

**Miranda Williams is in front of an OOWF banner.**

M: "Y'know Tommy, I like the way you think - inside the ring and out. Tell you what - Tonight we'll go out there and save the card but spoil the building as we tear the house down. Tomorrow, we'll grab Chad and maybe Zane or Mai, and we can do something really fun. Like, I've always wanted to try BASE jumping.

And Danny, get better my friend. We need you."

<fade>