|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:38:25 GMT -5
Live From Verdun, France! OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Hardbody Harris vs. Harper Camby OOWF Intercontinental Title Match - Taped Fist[/u] LD WIlliams vs. Tommy O'Neil Non Title Match[/u] Eric O'Mac vs. Josh O'Neal OOWF Invitational Round 1[/u] UnderDawg vs. Justin Sane Chris Cole vs. Shashwat Michra Tommy Wilder vs. Microplay Mr. Jealous vs. Mercury Thim Reynolds vs. Attitude Adjuster Chris Alt vs. Concrete TG Canadian Dragon vs. Stank Seraph vs. GatorBait Moosehead Jack vs. Outback Jack Nayr vs. Phil Uncle Entity vs. Austraroo FF Capslock vs. Donovan Viper Capellan vs. Johnny Adrenaline Firechild vs. Niles Anderson Blackdragon vs. Siriram SoulDragon vs. JW Westgaard Nayr vs. Predator Card subject to IRS audit Tournament Brackets
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:41:00 GMT -5
SFJ#19 is standing by with Harper Camby who has his OOWF World Tag Team Title slung over his shoulder. You looks nervous.
SFJ: Harper, you have a shot at the OOWF World Heavyweight Title this week on Mayhem. How do you plan to defeat the new World Champion, Hardbody Harris?
HC: This week me and Tommy both become duel champions. When Tommy knocks L.D.’s teeth in and I crush that bug Harris we will both control the gold here in the OOWF.
SFJ: What makes you think he can beat Harris? He is the number one face in the OOWF.
HC: Is that a serious question? I mean look at me! I’m the best physical being this world has ever seen. I work out harder then ANYBODY on this planet. I train hard so that I can perform at the highest level. Harris is a toothpick compared to me. And if you haven’t noticed I’m not slowing down. I’m getting bigger, stronger, and faster every single day through hard work, exercise, and a great nutritional plan.
SFJ: Speaking of nutritional plans, there have been rumors about yours.
HC: Rumors? I haven’t heard anything.
SFJ: Well rumors that your new plan might be the cause of recent outbursts.
HC: Outbursts? What outbursts?
SFJ: Well you did physically assault my colleague Kimi.
HC: That must have been somebody else. Probably that new guy Josh something or other. Not me.
SFJ: There is video evi..
HC: LOOK YOU SKANK IT WASN’T ME. GET ON WITH THE INTERVIEW.
SFJ: We’re done (drops mic and runs off quickly)
HC: (picking up the microphone) At mayhem I’m going to show Hardbody Harris exactly what it feels like to get beaten down by a God among Men. Harris, enjoy your little title for the next 2 days. At Mayhem that gold is mine.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:41:27 GMT -5
The camera captures Shashwat walking down the locker room corridor. Shashwat is shouting at the top of his voice “ Chris Cole! Hey Cole! Where are you Cole? Come on out! You and I have unfinished business punk ass! Come on out Cole!”
Shashwat reaches the 3 Piece Set room. He starts hammering the door with his baseball bat in an attempt to open it. Eventually he manages to kick it in only to fight no one inside. He looks around for a brief moment, pulls out a bottle of petrol and pours it all over the gear lying inside. He sets fire to it. He watches the stuff burning with glee.
Chris Cole and Firechild run in. “What the hell?” says Cole. Shashwat turns and quickly throws the bottle at Cole. It hits him on the face and Cole staggers. Shashwat hits the full face of the bat on Firechild and he goes down as a consequence. Shashwat uses the baseball bat on the knee of Chris Cole. Suddenly Firechild gets up and attempts to wrestle the baseball bat away.
Chris Alt runs in. He has been looking for 3 Piece Set after the attack on Hardbody Harris. He says, “I caught you sons of bitches! You are going to pay now.” Firechild lunges at him. Chris Alt and Firechild tumble out of the room exchanging right hands.
Cole is back up on his feet but Shashwat has disappeared from the room.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:41:49 GMT -5
Outside OOWF officials have come and separated an angry Chris Alt from Firechild. Firechild is bleeding heavily from the forehead. Cole comes out seething, “Chris Alt, I will deal with you soon, son!” He turns around to face Firechild and says, “Dude, stay here and take care of yourself. I will be back!”
Cole runs out of the locker room to the parking lot just in time to see Shashwat getting on his motorcycle. Cole runs to an Indy wrestler who is sitting there on a bike and pushes him off. Even as the fallen wrestler begins to say, “What? Hey? What?” Cole as already started the bike and has started the pursuit.
The camera crew runs to a van to try and follow the action.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:42:11 GMT -5
Stank - I glanced at the monitor on my way back to the locker room. I KNOW what I saw!
FFC - But I wasn't celebrating WITH Alan!
Stank - I saw the look he gave you. The congratualatory clap and the pointing.
FFC - Would YOU QUIT acting like a JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND??
Stank - I'm NOT acting like a jealous...
Mr. Jealous - what, What, WHAT?
Stank - Nobody is talking to you... you roided out freak.
MJ - SomeBODY keeps SAYING my NAME!
FF Capslock walks over to the door and shuts it in Jealous's face.
FFC - There sure are a lot of guys around here, like him lately.
Stank - Perhaps you'd like to have one of THEM be your partner. You and AA could form a little stable with that rookie Josh O'Neil and call yourselves "HemaROIDS".
FFC - Stank... I don't know how else to... ... Hemaroids?... That was lame.
Stank - Maybe your buddy ALAN can come up with a better name!
FFC - ALAN?... Look... I don't no how else to say this... for the LAST time. Alan and I are JUST friends.
Stank - How can you be friends with a guy like that? He's a heel. He's pudgy, not magnificently rotund and muscular like me but, beer gut pudgy.
FFC - So?
Stank - Well ah... let's see... how about this... he's a RACIST!
FFC - NO HE'S NOT!
Stank - Do I need to remind you of the whole "Who's your master now" incident.
FFC - THAT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING!
Stank - So my getting whipped by a belt and AA yelling at me "Who's your master now?" was just a... misunderstanding.
FFC - THAT'S what I'm saying.
Stank - He never apologized for it! Not once! All the beers we had with them since, and not ONE apology.
FFC - Is that what this is about? You want an apology?
Stank - Not from HIM! FROM YOU!
FFC - WHAT!
Stank - I had that match WON but, YOU wouldn't let me get the victory!
FFC - YOU'RE CRAZY! If ANYTHING you were trying to keep ME from winning!
Stank - Look at MY record compared to yours! A tag team partner would look out for a brotha! I bet you would have done it for Attitude Adjuster.
FFC - Well OBVIOUSLY I didn't!
Stank - That's only because you have this irrational HATRED for Johnny Adrenaline that you just HAD to PIN him! Did you ever stop to think that maybe YOUR PARTNER NEEEDED a WIN? You're selfish.
FFC - OH is THAT right... BROTHA?
Stank - You're not taking this seriously! It's either HIM or ME!
FFC - Don't be like this man!
Stank - Now if you'll excuse me I need to get ready for my match against something called a Canadian Dragon. Good god! How many dragons are IN this Fed?
FFC - About the same as there are FAT guys.
Stank - HEY! I'm MAGNIFICENTLY ROTUND yet MUSCULAR! NOT FAT!
FFC - Yeah, and I'm tall and big boned with a splendid beard. That doesn't change the fact that I'm fat. Embrace it.
Stank - ... I don't even KNOW you anymore.
Stank opens the door to storm out where Attitude Adjuster is caught standing up from where he had been peeking through the keyhole.
AA - Uh... hey there... is FFC *gulp* in?
Stank - How long have you been standing there?
AA - Are you gonna beat me up?
Stank stares a hole in AA... then walks off. AA walks into the locker room while patting his chest over the smoldering hole that has formed there.
AA - Dammit! This is a twenty dollar shirt!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:42:33 GMT -5
The camera shows two fallen motorcycles on what looks like a country road. The cameraman can be heard saying, “This is ratings gold folks! We will capture the action as it happens.” The camera crew gets out of the van and starts running towards the fallen bikes.
It is raining heavily.
The camera captures two men gradually getting up to their feet. Chris Cole takes his jacket off. Shashwat does the same.
Cole says, “ Nowhere to run Shashwat. Nowhere to hide. Will you be a man and fight me now? Bare hands son. Bare hands.”
Shashwat merely grunts in reply and moves towards Cole.
Cole swings first and catches Shashwat on the face with his fist. Shashwat falls in a heap. As he gets up, it is clear that he is bleeding from the jaw. Cole swings another right but Shashwat ducks and lunges at him. Both men fall to the ground. Both men try to grapple while getting back to their feet. Cole catches Shashwat again with another right and Shashwat goes down. This time, he stays down. Cole wipes his the mud of his brow and starts walking back towards his motorcycle.
“Is that all you got bitch?” yells Shashwat. Cole turns around and sees Shashwat getting back to his feet. He walks over towards him but Shashwat catches Cole on the face with a wooden stick. Cole groans and staggers. Shashwat moves towards him, but slips in the mud and falls flat.
The sound of sirens is heard the camera captures a police car pull over. A cop gets out and shouts, “Hey you guys! Hey! What is going on?”
The camera fades to black.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:43:02 GMT -5
[cameras cut to Josh O'Neal backstage sitting by his locker w/ SFJ #29] SFJ29: Josh, I have just heard that you will be facing Eric O'Mac, but not for the title. What are your thoughts?
JO: Well, my thoughts are that Eric O'Mac is very established, and, to cement myself as a great wrestler and the next up-and-coming stud, is I have to beat him.
SFJ29: Well, how would you go about doing that?
JO: How would I go about doing that? Come on....
[slight pause, as JO picks up SFJ29 and hits the modified F-5 on her]
JO: Hey, you wanted to know how I would go about doing it. You only brought this on yourself.
[JO now looks at the camera]
JO: Eric O'Mac, I know you're watching this. I can only tell you to NOT overlook me. Study what limited tape of me that you can find. Believe me, you will NEED to. Also, after I beat you, I will be the dominant being here.
[JO smirks, picks the cameraman up into the modified F-5, and executes the move, giving a SICK-ASS view of what it's like to be in the maneuver]
[overheard is JO talking, with no camera facing him]
JO: Don't forget, don't FUCKING forget....
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:43:25 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline is seen pacing thru the backstage area, grabs a cameraman and spotaneously cuts a promo.]
JA: OOWF Invitational... five weeks to see who the man is...
RF: TO BE THE MAN...
JA: Naitach, Naitch, I know... this is my promo.
RF: WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! [Flair leaves.]
JA: Five weeks to find out who the best wrestler in the OOWF truly is. And I draw Capellan in the first round. Son, I've been beating down your running buddies Wilder and Westgaard while you've been trying, unsuccessfully mind you, to take the Intercontinental Championship.
JCK: Hey, are you gonna drop my name in here anytime soon? I need lunch.
JA: Damn it, Jesus. You know Alan's better at that than I am. Go find him, he's probably drinking with Capslock.
[Jesus leaves.]
JA: Capellan, let me remind you that I am the first ever OOWF Intercontinental Champion, the first ever TWO TIME, TWO TIME, TWO TIME...
DDP: That's catchphrase infringement! I'm gonna sue your ass! BANG!
JA: Um... since when did you get here?
DDP: My yoga book bombed.
JA: No kidding.
DDP: Man, I think your promos suck without that Attitude Adjuster guy.
JA: Will you shut the fuck up? Go sue Randy Orton for finisher theft or something.
DDP: Ooh, good idea... [Page leaves.]
JA: And Capellan, mark my words, this Wednesday night, you are going to see the most vicious side of Johnny Adrenaline that anybody has ever seen. Tude's pissed me off, The Rick's pissed me off, Moose has pissed me off, and I vow to prove in the OOWF Invitational that I haven't lost my egde, that I'm not clowning around waiting for the next promo, and that I'm not a punkass chickenshit tag wrestler. At Midweek Mayhem, I am coming to...
BM: GET YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Boogeyman pours an ant farm into his mouth, then smashes the glass across his head.]
JA: Okay man, that was just disgusting.
RS: Damn.
JA: Can I cut my damn promo?
[Simmons calmly guzzles his beer while Boogey does some kind of ritualistic dance. Johnny just drops the mic and walks off.]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:43:48 GMT -5
<We find Moosehead Jack slumped in a corner of a filthy dark room, lit by a single bulb. Jack still has his wrestling gear on, blood from the night before remains dried on his face. After staring into space for several seconds Jack speaks>
Dance of Death, 2006, Hell Michigan. It is funny how a place can represent both triumph and tragedy.
Niles Anderson, I warned you. I warned you that if you messed with me, you would lose it all. I gave you chance after chance to turn back, but you just couldn't. You just could neot resist the chance to take me down. It was a foolish bet from the start. You always had more to lose than I did. You had something to fight for, something to prove, something to defend. I had nothing to lose. Yet you took the chance anyway, and now, you have nothing. Has it sunk in yet? When you woke up today did you realize you risked it all and lost? Now Niles, I know you, and I know you are going to blame this on me, that's fine, but you know it is a lie. Your ego caused your ruin. You know it, I know it. If you want to keep coming after me, I will gladly oblige you, I will take you so far to hell you will never escape. That decision is yours and yours alone.
But we were not alone in Hell now were we? Concrete, this is something that has been building for over a year and a half. Last night was a defining moment for us. You and I were vying for the ultimate prize - and I won. How does that make you feel? Does it not validate everything I have said since you and I first crossed paths? Does it not make things click into place, finally? Concrete you are not good enough to win the title unless you give in to your darker side. You will never win the title until you let the real Concrete TG come out. Think about it, this is as close as you have EVER been. This is as close as you have come to realizing your ultimate goal. And why? What motivated you all this time? Hate. Hatred for me, hatred for Niles. Crete, I will be honest. I know you, I know you as well as you know yourself, and I saw it last night. I saw you pull back, I could see the darkness spread across your face, I could see you wanted to maim both me and Niles. And you could have. But you didn't, and just like Niles, it cost you everything.
Now, Crete, I know what you are thinking, I lost it all too. Did I? I may have only held the title for a few minutes, but you can rest assured, unless that Concrete I know lurks inside comes out, that will be a few minutes longer than you EVER hold the title. Concrete, at some point, you have to stop and think is it really worth it? Are you willing to spend the rest of your career fighting yourself? Are you willing to spend the rest of your career fighting me? I have told you, you will never get that title as long as I have a breath of air in my body...unless you do things MY way. That decision is up to you.
And finally Hardbody Harris. What can I say? For a pandering idiot, you certainly picked your spot well. You took advantage of a situation and turned it to your favor. I applaud that. But Harris, just remember this, I took what you covet once. If I so desire, I WILL take it again, and there is nothing you can do about that. One day Harris, when you least expect it, I will be there, and I will bring pain and misery into your life like you have never known before. But it will be on MY time.
This week at the OOWF Invitational, I take the first step to ensuring that I get what is rightfully mine. I ensure that I get a title shot, when I want, and where I want. Outback Jack, it is nothing personal, you are just the first in a long, bloody stretch of victims. I will not stop until I get what I want, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me.
Trust me
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:44:12 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is WALKING in the hallway, talking on his phone, when he walks directly into Concrete TG. The two stand face to face*
CA *into the phone*: I'll call you back. *He hangs up* Crete.
CTG: Chris.
CA: Sorry to see you get screwed out of the title last night.
CTG: Well, the OOWF Invitation is going to be all I need to redeem myself.
CA: Ah... yeah. You know, I couldn't help but notice that you're my opponent in the first round. I have all the respect in the world for you, buddy... but you better go ahead and make your peace with the fact that you aren't advancing out of the first round.
CTG: Oh, is that so?
CA: It's nothing personal. Just business. See, at this time last year, I was new blood around here, and I made it into the Final Four before NOT losing to Moosehead Jack. And the last I checked, Beast made sure there's no Carl Coolname around to throw the towel in for me anymore. I've ridden this pony once before, Crete... this time, I'm going to finish what I started last year.
CTG: Well Chris, I wish you all the luck in the world and just because I like you, I'll even go to the bother of feeling just a little guilty about it when I go out there and beat you tonight.
CA: Well, I guess we'll have to go out into that ring and see for ourselves who the better man is.
CTG: Good luck.
CA: And to you, as well.
*they shake hands, and CTG begins to leave*
CA: Oh, and Crete.
*CTG spins around*
CA: If you happen to see Chris Cole... tell him he better find me before I find him.
*fade to black*
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:44:56 GMT -5
Niles - What the fuck did Harper Camby do to deserve a titleshot? I lose the title and I don't even get a rematch? I get put in some fucking invitational? We have to do something about this guys!
*Niles turns around to face the entourage but finds out he's alone.*
Niles - Fuck!
Voice - You probably should've read the fine print in your contract.
*Niles turns and sees The Rick standing beside him.*
Niles - You...
TR - Yes, me. See, I took your rematch clause out of the contract. And thats because of the assault you orchestrated on me a couple weeks ago.
*Niles is speechless. His face fills with rage.*
TR - It also stated that should you lose your title, you will be relegated to the midcard. This invitational is a chance for you to change that, but if you get eliminated then I'm sorry, it will be a long time before you see a titleshot again.
Niles - WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET OFF DEMOTING ME?!?!?
TR - I'm the GM. I can do that kind of stuff. Also, with the demotion comes a reduction in pay. You pissed me off Niles. Now its costing you. Good luck on your match.
*With that, The Rick walks off leaving Niles speechless and enraged. Fade to Black.*
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:45:21 GMT -5
Viper is in the back, Ayaka is standing behind Viper with her arms crossed. Missy is not to be seen, since she won't do overseas shows. Tommy is air-boxing, and Harper is working out, and looking over at Ayaka.
DV: I should be champion. Not that pretty bitch with the nice shoes, Hardbody Harris.
AY: (Nods her head)
DV: I'm glad you were able to come back from... wherever it is you went. But from now on, no more vacations. I need you to be at ringside at EVERY match of mine. You weren't there at Dance of Death to watch my back while the other three were pulling their bullshit. I know if you were there, I'd have won.
TO: Oi, me an' 'arpa, didne haf te hav a ninje en our co'na te becum champyuns. We did et en our own, right 'arp?
HC: He's right. As much as I'd love to have Ayaka in our corner, (smiles at her), we've been doing just fine ourselves.
AY: (nods her head)
DV: (glares at Harper and Ayaka) You know what? You guys don't have to deal with cheating bastards like Harris and Phil. You're not fighting a zombie robot lawyer!
TO: We faight eh unded doberman, fer cryin' out loud!
HC: Hey, I'm fighting Harris this week, you know!
DV: (ignores them) Ayaka, that's why I need you to be out there now. Every match from here on out. All right? No more vacations.
AY: (nods her head)
Viper turns his attention to the monitor, and starts watching the promos between Stank, FF Capslock, Johnny Adrenaline, and Attitude Adjuster.
DV: I'm fighting that guy this week. What have you got to say about him, Harper?
HC: He's tough and very strong. It's a lot like fighting me, except I'm stronger, tougher, and smarter.
DV: So you're saying I can clean house with him?
HC: (rolls his eyes) Well, he's distracted with this soap opera that he's going through.
DV: You know what I notice about this going on between these 4 guys?
AY: (Puzzled look on her face.)
DV: They're really fucking gay.
AY: (Nods her head)
DV: DAMMIT! I want to fuck! Why can't Missy go on these overseas tours? (looks at Ayaka)
AY: (shakes her head)
DV: (looks at Tommy and Harper)
TO: Oi! Ye freakin faggit! Dun even tink about et!
DV: I DON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU, YOU DUMB MARBLEMOUTHED BASTARD!
HC: Calm down, Viper. Go out and get yourself a drink. We're in France, there are bound to be some good wine and beautiful prostitutes here.
DV: You're right. Fine, I'll see you guys.
Viper leaves
TO: 'arpa, we're de champyons now. Why we got te 'and out wit that piece eh trash enemore?
Harper looks on as Ayaka leaves behind Viper: I've got my reasons....
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:46:08 GMT -5
*WBK is relaxing in the Rick's office, feet up on the desk, pimp cane at his side*
WBK: So I told him to stop his medication.
TR: That's a violation of his contract!
WBK: (taps his cane on the desk) Time to go, Erlana!
TR: Let's not be hasty, Wally!
*OBJ is being interviewed on Byte Me by Tood Grisham*
TG: We've got some Foster's for you, mate!
OBJ: (drinking from a leather flask) Never mind, ya bastard!
TG: But the sponsor...
OBJ: Shut up!
TG: Outback Jack, I'm surprised...
OBJ: Don't talk to me about Outback Jack, or Jack of the Hinterlands either! Back of Beyond Jack doesn't give a rat's ass about them! Back of Beyond Jack wants to talk about Moosehead Jack, also known as American Elk. Back of Beyond Jack gouges out his opponents' eyes and skull-fucks them! Back of Beyond Jack is pissed about our record in singles matches! Back of Beyond Jack wants to come out and play, mate. Trust you? Back of Beyond Jack doesn't trust anybody! If we take the pills again, Back of Beyond Jack will have to just watch again, but we won't forget you.
*WBK is still in the Rick's office*
WBK: OK, Maybe I stopped his medication too quickly.
*muffled sound from below the desk*
WBK: No, I don't have a line on the Braves yet.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:46:52 GMT -5
**Eric O’Mac and L.D. Williams are in their locker room, being interviewed by SFJ#28.**
SFJ: “Eric, you’ve got a non-title match this week against the impressive newcomer Josh O’Neal. Your thoughts?”
EOM: “O’Neal’s had what? all of one match here? He may think he’s a big deal, but he’s going to learn that the OOWF is a whole different world. He doesn’t stand a chance.”
SFJ: “L.D., you’re going up against the OOWF’s other O’Neil. Last time, the two of you seemed to enjoy trying to kill each other.”
LD: “I’ll admit I’m looking forward to this one. Tommy is a touch son-of-a-gun. Thing is, this isn’t the first time I’ve gone up against a reigning tag team champion. I think my record in those matches speaks for itself . At Midw-”
**Justin Sane bursts into the room**
JS: “I want my match with Ladder, dammit, and I want it RIGHT NOW!!”
EOM: “Justin, this isn’t a good-”
JS: “Don’t you get it? We can’t afford to waste any more time! He’s bringing in reinforcements!”
LD: “Who?”
JS: “LADDER! Didn’t you see my match? Wait. You couldn’t tell, could you? He’s already got you fooled!”
EOM: “What are you talking about?”
JS: “That wasn’t ladder that interfered for Clorox…that was Ladder II!!”
LD: “Ladder II?”
JS: “Yeah. He’s done this to me before. He brings in other guys who look nearly identical. Two, three, sometimes even four! If I don’t take him out now, we’re all in trouble!”
LD: “Justin, is there some medication you should be taking?”
JS: “Mama always told me drugs would ruin my mind.”
LD: “Who could tell?”
JS: “Look forget about that. I need that no-holds-barred match with ladder. Better yet, get me and Bobbin a tag match with them!”
EOM: “Bobbin?”
JS: “You know, big guy, hangs out with you, likes to tie people in knots…”
LD: “Thim.”
JS: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”
EOM: “Look Justin, I know you’re worried, but you’ve got a big match this week…”
**EOM puts a hand on Justin’s shoulder and guides him to the door**
JS: “Don’t worry. I’ve got my muzzle from high school and my shots are up to date. I won’t have any trouble with the tunnel poodle.”
**EOM closes the door behind Justin and comes back to L.D. and SFJ #28**
SFJ: “Did he just call Underdawg a..a..Tunnel Poodle?”
EOM: (sighs) “Yep.”
SFJ: “What do you think his chances are?”
LD: “He’s Kibble.”
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:47:17 GMT -5
## Thim is WALKING!!!
TR: double A . . . Attitude Adjuster . . . I'd like to apologise to you. I'd also like to tell you that you should be going to see theRick about this because it's not your fault and it's not my fault either . . . it's all theRick's fault!!
He's the one that dropped you into my path of destruction - I'm currently running and smashing my way through a best of Seven series with Corax and there's no way in hell that I'm going to slow down just because some klutz with no regard for his performers decided to put me into an Invitational.
I really am sorry Attitude - and I won't think any the less of you if you decide to just not show. I can't control myself when I get going in the ring . . . there is only one speed . . . there is only one way to do this and unfortunately it's going to mean one of us getting hurt . . .
Do yourself a favour Attitude . . . get over yourself, lose the Attitude for one week and just step the hell out of my way
## With that closing remark Thim pushed the cameraman over backwards, open a door and steps into the Establishment's dressing room
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:47:39 GMT -5
*The Former Price is Right "Diva" has caught up with GatorBait in the locker room*
TFPiR"D": Gator, what're your thoughts on the behavior of your tag partner?
GB: Heh heh... good to see Back of Beyond Jack rear his ugly head again... you know, we weren't always tag partners... he and I used to deliver some of the ol' ultra-violence by ourselves, and the pain was usually inflicted upon each other... I guess you can say that's where the mutual respect comes from... we're warriors able to put aside our differences to take on the larger task at hand... like when Mick Foley teamed with Terry Funk... and when Mike Sanders teamed with Kwee Wee... from what I've seen the past coupla days from BoBJack, lil' Moosey's in for a bloodfest...
TFPiR"D": So... ummm... why are you putting on makeup?
GB: it's my huntin' paint... only Viper wears makeup around here...
DV: I am NOT A HOMO!!!
GB: I'm facing that schizoid freak Seraph... I hear he likes to play mindgames... well I've got news for him... I INVENTED mindgames!... ask Bumbles McGee why he's in a room with padded walls right now... ask Ric Flair why he found his wife strapped to the wall with nipple clamps... ask Edge HOW Lita became a slut... but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know...
TFPiR"D": Any last thoughts?!?
GB: yeah... when it's all said and done, Seraph... don't hate the Gator... HATE THE BAIT!!!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:48:13 GMT -5
<wCw Locker Room>
Capellan: JW, you ready for your match yet 'bro?
JWW: Yeah - I'll be ready. I gotta wonder why the GM hasn't pulled Tommy from the card though. He was seriously busted up inside - he won't be out of the hospital, let alone in the ring for a while.
Cap: Man, I bet that he is going absolutley nuts having to sit still.
JWW: Well, Winter X Games are on, so at least he can watch his second favorite brand of crazy...
Cap: You see Shawn White yesterday? 3 1080s onthe superpipe!
JWW: No kidding. <Grins> I'll be the docs had to sedate wilder after that - or let him build a pipe in their parking lot...
Cap: Dude - lets call him up - see if they let him hook up the X-Box360 we had sent over.
<Westgaard dials his cell>
JWW: Tommy Wilder - Room 323... Thanks!
<Pause>
JWW: Yes? This is JW Westgaard... What? Are you fucking kidding me? How in the hell did THAT happen? Damn it! no, I'm not surprised! How did you jokers NOT expect that? Yeah, yeah, yeah - well if you spot him - TRANK HIM. I'll let management know here...
<Hangs up>
JWW: SON OF A BITCH!
Cap: Let me guess....
JWW: Yup! Against doctors orders, against TheRicks orders, and against ALL FUCKING COMMON SENSE, our runnin' buddy has snuck out of the damn hospital. Internal injuries and all.
Cap: He's headed here...
JW: Ya think? Stupid "Life on the edge" mentality is gonna get him killed... Or worse - get ME killed....
Cap: Chill 'Bird - we'll find him. Slip him a pre-match caffine-free Dew and he'll go right out....
JW: No time for jokes Cap - lets save Wilder from himself...
Cap: Whos' joking? You ever TRY that stuff?
<Fade>
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:49:22 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster stands before the OOWF banner, cutting an OLD SCHOOL promo.
Thim Reynolds, I stand before you without the rest of the entourage. Johnny’s out playing golf, Ric’s attending to the sandwich shop, Ron’s drinking some beer, Jesus is trying to make some money, Fred the Monkey was a one-hit wonder anyway, and The Boogeyman…well, The Boogeyman may just be in your locker, couldn’t he? HE’S COMING TO GET YOU!!!! BOOO!!!! Oh, that cracks me up.
But seriously, Thim, I want you to get a clear message. Think about the tournament for a second. Do you really think you have a chance of advancing? Really? Come on. Look at the facts. No, no, no. I’m not talking about who’s the better wrester. I admit, you’re pretty talented. But what does that ever matter when it comes to professional wrestling? Look deeper into the facts. Look at the storylines. Yes, the storylines. You didn’t think about that, did you?
Look, you have a best of seven series with Corax. Do you really think the bookerman is going to let that series disappear for a great length of time while you go on an extended tournament run? And look at me. Johnny and I have this feud thing going on with FF Capslock and Stank. Have you looked at the brackets? Have you, Thim? If I win, then there’s the potential of a Concrete TG/Attitude Adjuster match. A match that everyone has anticipated since the famed Sharpie on a Pole match. And then the next round could be Attitude Adjuster and Stank. Can you feel the tension? Now if you win, what would happen? Is Corax even on our side of the bracket? I see a Snooze-a-Thon awaiting as Thim Reynolds faces Chris Alt, Thim meets Canadian Dragon. BORING!!!! Face it, I don’t even have to show up this week and somehow I’ll win this match. So you just yell and scream and twist people into knots or whatever it is that you do with your gimmick, and I’ll concentrate on my match next week against Concrete TG. You really think you have a chance, Thim? Silly, silly Thim. For all you know, I may be writing your match this week. You think you have a chance. That’s funny.
Cameraman: Dude, that was harsh. Do you even care about kayfabe any more? It’s like you don’t even care about the actual wrestling.
AA: Wrestling? Come on, we’re Sports Entertainers! Now go get me a sandwich. I have to start thinking of ways to promote next week’s match against Concrete AND keep this feud with Drink & Destroy at main event level. I’m sure as hell not curtain jerking the next PPV!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:49:57 GMT -5
<Back of Beyond Jack is standing at a table littered with weapons. BobJack carefully examines each weapon and weighs it carefully. As he is concentrating on a strand of barbed wire a shadow falls across the table. BobJack stops and looks up but does not turn around>
BobJack: Moose
MHJ: So, I see we have the return of Back of Beyond Jack
<BobJack slowly turns around still clutching the strand of wire>
BobJack: That a problem Moosey?
MHJ: Not at all. Look, calm down, I am not here for a fight, <glancing at the table full of weapons> There will be PLENTY of time for that on Wednesday. I just want to say I am glad to see you getting back to your roots
BobJack: Jack, what are you up to?
MHJ: Nothing. Nothing at all. Look, when me and Crete faced you and Gator in the best of three series, the one that ended in the triple cage flaming tables match.....you remember that?
BobJack:<getting a bit glassy eyed> Oh yeah, that was some proper fun
MHJ: I told you then I respected you guys, I knew what you were capable of, and it was a hell of a lot more than the suits here in the OOWF wanted to let you do. They wanted to saddle you with some stupid Bushwhackers gimmick, but you wouldn't go for it.
BobJack: Hell No.
MHJ: Look Jack, you have every reason in the world not to trust me. You have every reason in the world not to like me. I just want you to think about this. what this fed needs is more violence. Right now, those Devil boys have singles glory in their eyes. They just won the tag straps and they are already being enticed by the singles titles. I will admit this - when you and Gator focus, you two are damn near unstoppable. Think about that as you get ready for Wednesday, and also think about what an alliance of The Team From Down Under, LD Williams, Moosehead Jack, Thim Reynolds and Eric O'Mac could unleash on the OOWF. Just think about it for a few minutes. Until then, I will see you on Wednesday. I am looking foward to this.
Trust me.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:50:25 GMT -5
**SFJ # 72 is standing by with Nayr the Halfling Luchadore**
SFJ#72: Nayr, in the first round of the OOWF invitational, you have a match against Phil, the 11th Level Prehistoric Zombie Pirate Ninja Robot Wizard from Outer Space. Any thoughts?
Nayr: Well, I can tell there are a few factors I'm going to have to look out for. I think he'll be hard to hurt, because he's a zombie. That being said, I know that jetpack he has might come in to play. And after watching tapes of his matches, I've noticed he likes to use spells. He also has a fearsome weapon in his ninja sword. When you add to that his robot parrot, and his telescopic robot legs, I think this match will definitely be a challenge. But that's why I joined the OOWF, for the challenge, and so far it hasn't disappointed.
SFJ#72: Do you think you have anything on your side that might negate Phil's impressive arsenal?
Nayr: I do have one thing on my side, I call it the Nayr Factor. It refers to my lionlike heart and my never-say-die attitude. It's also the name of my finishing move, by the way.
SFJ#72: Do you have anything else you'd like to say?
Nayr: I hope I win.
SFJ#72: Thanks for your time.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:50:50 GMT -5
"Johnny Adrenaline, huh?" Capellan nods his head at the brackets. "Can't complain."
"You're not worried at facing a two time IC champion?" SFJ #11 pops into shot.
"Jeez!" Capellan starts, "Where did you come from?"
"I'm dating one of the Invisible Ninja Cameramen." Eleven shrugs, then returns to her question, "You're not worried about Adrenaline? He's a two time Intercontinental champ, and you've come up short in every shot you've had at the IC belt so far."
"Am I worried about Adrenaline? No, I'm not worried about him. Why would I be?" Capellan grins, "As you say: he's the two time champ, not me. It won't be any shame for me to lose, but it would be for him now wouldn't it? People are already whispering that he's lost it, the way he lets AA and Capslock talk to him. And now he's going around promising violence and carnage and who knows what else. Sounds like a worried man to me. A scared man. A man who knows he isn't going past the first round of the invitational."
"Strong words, especially about someone who beat your wCw team mates bloody just a week ago."
Capellan laughs,
"I wondered if you'd mention that. What Adrenaline did to JW and Wilder last week isn't intimidation for me ..."
He leans in close to the camera.
"It's motivation."
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:51:26 GMT -5
Cameraman: Dude, that was harsh. Do you even care about kayfabe any more? It’s like you don’t even care about the actual wrestling.
AA: Wrestling? Come on, we’re Sports Entertainers! Now go get me a sandwich. I have to start thinking of ways to promote next week’s match against Concrete AND keep this feud with Drink & Destroy at main event level. I’m sure as hell not curtain jerking the next PPV!
## AA turns around after ordering the Cameraman away and bumps straight into Thim . . . Thim screams a Attitude Adjuster while in turn Attitude Adjuster cowers backwards.
TR: OH I'M SORRY ATTITUDE, WERE YOU NOT PAYING ATTENTION?? DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID?? DID I EVEN ONCE MENTION THAT I CARED ABOUT ACTUALLY WINNING???
## Thim calms himself down, allowing Attitude Adjuster to recover his composure
TR: no . . . what I said was that my sights are set fully on Corax and YOU and standing in the DAMN WAY!!!! I don't give a crap about your story-lines . . . I don't give a crap about your 'sports entertainment' and I sure as hell don't give a crap about that bunch of misfits and has-beens you run around with.
All I said was that if you get in the ring with me this week you ARE GOING TO GET HURT!!! Now get the hell out of my way . . .
## Thim pushes Attitude Adjuster aside and walks off leaving Attitude Adjuster looking totally put out and one very happy looking cameraman
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:51:53 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster watches Thim walk away, then peeks around the corner to make sure Thim's nowhere to be seen.
AA: Yeah, well...um...I don't care about winning either. You better watch your ass, buddy, cause I'm gonna kick your...ummm...ass!
AA dials his cell phone.
AA: Johnny, pick up. Answer the phone, dude! I've got a problem here. Thim wants to kick my ass!!! I didn't think about that!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:52:14 GMT -5
[As AA hangs up his cell phone, Johnny Adrenaline pops in from around the corner.]
JA: What, you looking for me?
AA: Yeah, man, Reynolds is gonna...
JA: No, no, no... you're calling ME?
AA: Well, yeah. We gotta come up with a plan.
JA: Hold on a second... [Johnny pulls out HIS cell phone]... let me check my call log. What do you know? YOU'RE NOT ON HERE! Let's see who HAS called me... the club, the club, that guy that's been calling me about UnderDawg, Quizno's, the club again, Mom...
AA: Wait a minute? Quizno's? What about Naitch? You takin your business elsewhere?
JA: Oh, you say that like taking your business elsewhere is a crime or something. But taking your tag team business elsewhere is okay, though, right?
AA: Johnny, man...
JA: I heard Reynolds call your entourage a bunch of "has-beens." Well, since Capslock is the only guy you hang out with anymore, he must've been talking about him. And ya know, I can't say that I disagree with him!
AA: Johnny, get over it man! Where is it written that guys from different tag teams can't be friends?
JA: He's a FACE! You know what Jim Cornette would think of that?? Look, Alan... since this whole OOWF Invitational is every man for himself, ya know what? You're on your own this week!
AA: Oh yeah? Well you are, too!
JA: But Capellan isn't a badass like Thim is!
AA: Yeah, well... well... your promos without me suck!
[Johnny goes nose to nose with AA, but before things go any further, a familiar voice interrupts them.]
NA: Damn it, you two! Stop acting like a couple of jackasses! Come with me, I got a surprise for both of ya.
[Niles leaves, and Johnny and AA give each other a loaded glare, but follow Anderson down the hall.]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 14:52:36 GMT -5
*Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline follow Niles into their lockerroom.*
Niles - Now open your lockers guys.
JA - Uh, why?
AA - Yeah... I'm confused.
Niles - JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO IT!!!
*AA and JA do as their told. When they open their respective lockers...*
AA - Wow! An armani suit!
JA - And I got a this snazzy Hugo Boss jacket!
Niles - I know I haven't been around the crew that much since I was busy defending my title, but I wanted to show you guys that I appreciate how you've had my back.
AA - Thanks boss.
JA - Yeah Niles, you're the best.
Niles - Don't even worry about it.
*Niles walks out of the lockerroom.*
AA - Yeah, you can quit being such a bitch now, Niles likes me better cuz he gave me an entire suit. You just got a jacket.
JA - But its Hugo Boss bitchface! And this will keep me warm during these winter months when we go to cold places. What is your suit gonna do for you in the cold jackass!
AA - Screw you! I won't help you with your match this week if you're not careful!
JA - You're the one who needs help asshugger! Thim is gonna clobber you!
AA - Yeah... well... well... YOUR MOM!!!
*AA storms out on that note and JA just sits down and sulks.*
JA - I wanted to pull out the mom burn.
*Fade to Black.*
|
|