Narrator: "Good evening everyone and welcome to the 6 o'clock evening news with anchors Elizabeth Frisco and Bill Chiu"
Bill: "Welcome to the evening news, todays head lines, a bull gets the horns...
Elizabeth: "But first, a man assists in rebuilding the burned down arena in Beer, England for nothing. We go live with reporter Doug Jennings, Doug..."
Doug: "Thanks Elizabeth. I'm standing here with a man that is doing back breaking labour for not a single penny. What is your name sir?"
: "Matt Daddy Mr. Jennings, can I say that it's an honour to finally meet you?"
Doug: "You may , why are you refusing payment Mr. Daddy?"
Matt: "Frankly, I'm not here for the money, I'm here to help people in need, to get some excersise and some good 'ol fresh air!"
Doug: "That is just fantastic, you've single handedly restored my faith in humanity!"
Matt: "I'm just doing my part to make things better in the world. I don't need any praises."
Doug: "And he's modest too ladies and gentlemen! And who is this here with you Mr. Daddy?"
Matt: "This is my good friend Chuck Norris. He's also assisting in the rebuilding of the centre."
-Chuck Norris gives the camera man a High Five
Doug: "Well there you have it! A man doing his part for society. Back to you Elizabeth!"
-The deliver a handfull of interesting stories including a dog that saves a cat from an 18th century well. You go to bed feeling rested and reassured that there are still good people in this world
Narrator: We appologize for interrupting your regular schedualed program This is Breaking news with Elizabeth Frisco.
Elizabeth: "Once again we appologize for the interruption but we go live to Beer England where there is a hostage situation in progress... We go live on the scene with Doug Jennings... Doug"
Doug: "Thank you Elizabeth, things are getting heated here as the swat team is called in to the Old Bank of England (OBE) where terrorists are holding the bank hostage. There demands are 6 billion dollars in unmarked bills and the Oscar Mayer mobile to escort them out safely. I'm standing here with the SWAT team leader Henry Ruddenbauch... Henry what is the situation inside?
Henry: "Well there appears to be approximately 30 hostages inside and the terrorists appear to be very hosltile."
Doug: "How many terrorists are inside?"
Henry: "There appear to be 6 men armed with M4-A1 and Fragmentation Grenades."
Doug: "I would hate to be in the hostages positions"
-Doug adjusts his tie and microphone
Doug: "What is your plan to infiltrate the bank?"
Henry: "We have a team proceeding stealthily to each entrance with door breaching charges and we have a team crawling through the ventilation shafts."
Doug: "What is the probability of success?"
Henry: "Unfortunetly only 16%"
- Almost on cue, shots are fired
Doug: "ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOSE, SHOTS HAVE BEEN FIRED!!!"
-The SWAT team moves in quickly to clear the room. They walk out 2 minutes later with all 6 armed men in custody. Henry is on the radio with the SWAT captain.
Henry: "Interesting... bring them out."
Doug: "What's going on?"
Henry: "It appears that one of the hostages is wounded. We're calling for an ambulance."
-Henry gets more feedback on his radio
Henry: "Hmmm. It appears that the wounded hostage and another man took out all the terrorists."
Doug: "Can we get in for an interview?"
-Ambulance sirens wail in the back round and enter the building with a stretcher.
Henry: "You'll have to wait for the EMT's to finish with the wounded hostage"
-The cameraman zooms in to the EMT's leaving the building with a man on the stretcher. He looks vaguely familiar.
Doug: "Sir, SIR! Can we have an interview?"
-The man on the stretcher signals the EMT's to wait.
: "Sure why not."
Doug: "What were you thinking in there? Why would you put your life in jeopardy like that?"
: "Well, they were expecting the police to show up. The terrorists were going to shoot down a child and I just took the bullet."
Doug: "The Swat Chief told us that you and another man took down all 6 men... Is that true?"
: No, I only took two down. My friend did the rest.
-Chuck Norris runs up to the stretcher.
Chuck: "Are you ok Matt?"
Matt: "Yeah, the bullet just grazed my side... How is the kid?"
Chuck: "Fine, he's just a bit shaken up."
Matt: "Bring him to me."
Kid: "Thank you for saving my life sir. I want to be just like you when I grow up!"
Matt: "I don't need any praises son."
EMT: "He needs to go to the hospital now. You can talk to him later."
Chuck: "I'll handle this partner. Have a good one."
Matt: "Thanks."
-EMT's wheel out the wounded hostage.
Doug: "It seams that you two had a busy day."
-Doug asks Chuck Norris a bunch of questions as the Ambulance speeds off in the back round. You turn off the TV feeling better about yourself knowing that people will still sacrifice everything for others.
Narrator: "Good evening everyone and welcome to the 6 o'clock evening news with anchors Elizabeth Frisco and Bill Chiu"
Elizabeth: "Tonight's top story, a grilled cheeze is found that looks exactly like John Cena's career."
Bill: "But I thought that grilled cheeze just looked like dead things."
Elizabeth: "They do! ahaha"
-The news crew shares a chuckle.
Bill: "On a better note, yesterday channel 6 interviewed a wounded hostage. He's live at the Beer Intensive Care Unit with the roving reporter Doug Jennings... Doug."
-Matt Daddy is reading a news paper trying to keep up to date with current events.
Doug: "Thank you Bill, hello again Mr. Daddy... how are you feeling?"
Matt: "I can't really complain, there are staving ethiopians I could be working on the arena.
Doug: "Wow, you really are impressive!"
Matt: "Please, I don't need any praises."
Doug: "The question on everyones mind is how bad is the wound?"
Matt: "Actually it's just a flesh wound. I'll be out of the hospital tomorrow but I have to take it easy for a few weeks."
Doug: "Does that mean you wont be able to help with the arena anymore?"
Matt: "That's right... those poor children, not having a rink they can play hockey in..."
Doug: "Well... that being said, Channel 6 is going to fully rebuild the arena for you!"
Matt: "That is increadible! How can I thank you?"
Doug: "Just keep doing what you do... I don't need any praises!"
-The two men chuckle. Chuck Norris walks into the room with a frown on his face and a cell phone in his hand.
Chuck: "The phone is for you partner."
-Matt takes the phone and the look on his face just drops...
Matt: "That's just not right... Ok, I'm on it"
-Matt rips the I.V.'s out of his arms, hops out of his bed and bandages his wounds. Chuck gives him his clothes and gives the camera man a thumbs up."
Matt: "Tell the hospital that I'm leaving."
Doug: "What the hell is going on here?"
Chuck: "Well, looks like someone has been selling crack to children..."
Doug: "My god... what has this world come to!?!"
Chuck: "I have to go help Matt out, Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. "
Doug: "That's deep Chuck... Back to Bill!"
-Bill and Elizabeth are devastated... they wrap things up. You go to bed feeling terrible that someone would do such a thing!
-Matt Daddy is standing outside the door at a huge texas ramp. He knocks at the door. Chuck Norris answers promptly.
Chuck: "Afternoon partener... did you get any sleep?"
Matt: "I didn't get much that's for sure. I can't believe what a night we had..."
Chuck: "Forget it Matt, we did our part."
Matt: "But all those kids... so lost..."
Chuck: "I know... only detox and God can save them now."
-Chuck invites Matt in for some lunch and a beer. Matt Graciously accepts and walks in behind the immortal Chuck Norris. The halls are full of framed articles from Chucks past. 6 shooters, cowboy hats, full length cut outs of himself, old bowflex parts... the list goes on.
Chuck: "Here chief! Heads up!"
-Chuck Norris "chucks" Matt a bud.
Matt: "You know Chuck, I'll never get used to American beer."
Chuck: "That's cause you're spoiled you Canadian brat!"
-The boys chuckle
Matt: "What are some of your plans for today boss?"
Chuck: "Well I was just going to practice some of my Chuck-Kwan-Do in my Dojo downstairs. Are you interested?"
Matt: "You know I am... just try to leave my spleen intact this time ok."
Chuck: "Okie doke Chief."
-Chuck Norris and Matt Daddy begin to spar in his den. They are toe to toe for a bit but then Chuck stops messing around and beats the RNA out of his system."
Chuck: "Good warm up... I almost broke a sweat."
-Matt just twitches. Chuck throws him over his shoulder and throws him down on the spare bed.
Chuck: "Take a nap... you did good Chief."
Matt *winded*: "Please... I don't need any praises."
-Chucks cell phone rings in the kitchen. He kicks a hole through the wall and walks over to the counter. Almost on the spot, there is a team of drywallers rebuilding the mess.
Chuck *on the phone*: Walk...er, Chuck Norris here. Mmm Hmm, he's out like a light..., sure..., right..., one sec...
-Chuck kicks another hole through the wall to see if Matt wanted to take the call... Matt is Ko'ed.
Chuck *on the phone*: "He's out cold... I'll take a message for him partener... you said your name's theRick?. K, he'll get back to ya Chief.
-Chuck sits down in front of his 72" TV and watches old "Walker, Texas Ranger" episodes.
Drywaller A: "It's a good thing he pays well."
Drywaller B: "Hey Chuck, push over, we're going to join ya."
-Chuck Norris and the drywallers A and B are having a good laugh at the blue collar comedy tour. Matt enters the room. He looks like he just came back from re-constructive surgery.
Chuck: "You look real purdy partener!"
Matt: "Thanks... I feel like I got hit by a Mac Truck, then I realized, Mac Trucks don't hurt this much."
-Matt and Chuck laugh. The drywallers are stunned in amazement that Matt is sitll alive.
Chuck: "Maybe next time I won't go so easy on ya Chief!"
-Everyone laughs
Chuck: "Hey, some guy called for you, he said his name was theRick. His number is on the fridge."
Matt: "Who is this guy and why is he calling me?"
-Matt picks up the phone and calls theRick back.
Matt *on the phone*: "Is theRick there?... Sure I'll hold."
-Matt is on hold for a good 45 minutes.
Matt: "Hello, yeah... Mmm Hmm..., ok..., hold on a sec."
-Matt looks at Chuck and covers the reciever with his hand.
Matt: "He wants me to come in for some reason... Announcing matches for wrestling or something."
Chuck: "Chuck Norris Approves."
-Matt goes back to the phone and continues his conversation with theRick. He graciously accepts and hangs up the phone.
Chuck: "Well done partner."
Matt: "Please, I don't need any praises!"
-Matt Daddy and Chuck Norris are in the OOWF head office seaching high and low for theRick. They a lot of paper pushers with veins poping out of their heads. Chuck Norris stops to ask one of them. The guy doesn't even look up.
Guy: "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME... CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M BUSY!"
-Matt looks amazed! Chuck puts his hand on the guys shoulder. The guy leaps out of his seat and crawls into a fetal position.
Guy: "I...i...iiiiiiiiiii... IT'S WALKER, TEXAS RANGER!!! *sniveling* I'm so sorry Mr. Walker... I didn't know it was you...!!!
Chuck: "Please... Call me Chuck, we're just looking for theRick."
Guy: "Yes sir! Just one moment, I'll get him for you."
-The guy runs so fast he breaks the sound barrier. He returns promptly with theRick who looks flustered. Chuck and theRick go for a little stroll.
Guy: "Wow... you know Chuck Norris? You must be a god or something!"
Matt: "I don't need any praises, I'm just his sparing partner."
-The guy notices that Matt Daddy is still swollen. He drops down to his knees and begins praising him.
Guy: "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! I suck!!! I SUCK!!!"
-Chuck and theRick come back.
GMtR: "Well, Mr. Daddy... I have a problem. I filled the announcer spot this morning..."
Matt: "That's ok, I'll just head home..."
GMtR: "Woah now... Chuck Norris tells me that you spar with him and you're not dead... that's gotta say something... How about a match tomorrow?"
Matt: "Hmmm... I have some amateur backround... Let's see what I can do!"
Chuck: "Let's go home partner... I'll show you some moves."
-Matt and Chuck leave together. GMtR starts yelling at the guy who is slacking off.