|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:31:13 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 3 Live! February 15 From Swords, Ireland OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Hardbody Harris vs. Shashwat Mishra OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] LD Williams vs. Uncle Entity OOWF World Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match[/u] The Devil's Brigade vs. The Team From Down Under vs. The BlackDawgs OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Eric O'Mac vs. Firechild OOWF Invitational-Round 3[/u] brackets!Chris Cole vs. Mr. Jealous Chris Alt vs. Seraph Moosehead Jack vs. Donovan Viper Johnny Adrenaline vs. Siriram Attitude Adjuster vs. Stank Thim Reynolds & Justin Sane vs. Nayr & Austraroo Josh O'Neal vs. FF Capslock Mercury vs. Capellan SoulDragon vs. Matt Daddy Predator vs. Microplay JW Westgaard vs. Niles Anderson Phil vs. Concrete TG vs. Canadian Dragon Card subject to artist depiction
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:31:53 GMT -5
Capellan is watching tape of last week's match. The picture pauses on LD Williams raising his belt.
"So what's the deal, LD?" Capellan asks as he turns to the camera, "You were so desperate to find the fight in me at first, so why run like a scolded dog when you got your desire?" he presses a button on the remote and the screen changes to Williams in his recent interview:
"Well LD, I not only made the match, I won it." Capellan raises his eyebrows, "You gonna make sure I get another one now? Or did more of Johnny Adrenaline rub off on that belt than we knew?"
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:32:13 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing with SFJ#28, watching Capellan’s comments.**
SFJ: “Capellan does seem to have a point L.D. Your thoughts?”
LD: “Watch the tape again, Cap, and this time pay attention. I said I respected your commitment to Wilder enough that I’d give you another title shot if you didn’t make it. I never said anything about the match itself.
I am a champion for a reason Cap. It’s because I don’t do stupid things. Staying in the ring with you while you were that amped over Wilder when I didn’t have anything to gain would have qualified as stupid. Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.
If you want a rematch Capellan, you’ll get one. I’m not going to pull any crap about you earning another shot either. I took the easy way out, and we both know it. That’s the champion’s prerogative. You’ll get another match, but on my terms.”
**L.D. turns to walk away, hesitates, and turns back to the camera.**
LD: “And if you ever compare me to Johnny Adrenaline again, Westguaard will have to choose between Wilder’s hospital bed and your funeral.”
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:32:36 GMT -5
Behind the stage
-Matt Daddy and Chuck Norris are celebrating the match when Nigel comes trotting in...
Nigel: "Well done chap! I see there is some bite to you ya bloke."
MD: "Thanks Nigel, I did some amateur stuff and Chuck Norris showed me the rest."
-Chuck tilts his cowbow hat.
Nigel: "Well it was impressive... despite the dudgey finish... that last move hurt my neck!"
-Nigel starts walking away from the celebration.
MD: "Hey... where are you going bud, come have a drink with us!"
Nigel: "Don't mind if I do"
-They party well after the event is done... Some familiar faces walk by patting the new kid on the shoulders.
MD: "Well... now I just need to find out what my next match is..."
CN: "Let me find that out for ya partner!"
MD: "Thanks Chuck! I owe you 13 rounds in the ring."
-Chuck just laughs knowing there is no way he can do that yet.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:33:38 GMT -5
FF Capslock, Attitude Adjuster and Carl Weathers are sitting in a bar enjoying some drinks.
AA- So, who is this guy?
CW- Hi, I'm Carl Weathers.
AA- Hmmm, you look familiar.
FF- (whispers) Apollo Creed.
AA- Nope...were you in Predator?
CW- Yeah. I'm Carl Weathers.
AA- Okay! I know you.
FF- I figured I needed you to be my new best friend, Carl. My last one cost me and Double A here the Tag Team Titles.
AA- I'm not your best friend?
FF- Well, Stank was. But, I think that might be over. Unless he wants to appologize.
AA- Why wouldn't I be bumped up to the top then?
FF- Because Carl Weathers has always been above you Alan. He had the number two spot so he got bumped up. You didn't know that I hung with Carl sometimes?
AA- Why?
FF- He's always saying inspirational things.
CW- Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker. Hi, I'm Carl Weathers.
FF- Isn't he great?
AA- I guess. But listen, you gotta get back on good terms with Stank so you can make sure he doesn't murder me in out match Wednesday.
FF- You don't need that. Just get some inspiring words from Carl. He'll help you out.
CW- If you stand toe-to-toe with this bum, he'll kill you. It doesn't take a man to stand there and get your head beat off! He's just a man, so be MORE man than him! Go get him; Eye Of the Tiger! Carl Weathers.
AA- Somehow, I don't think that'll help. I'm gonna go cut a promo, clear my head.
FF- Good deal, bro. See ya later.
Attitude Adjuster leaves the bar.
FF- Okay Carl. I gotta fight Josh O'Neal this week. What do ya got for me?
CW- When we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man; the edge! And now you gotta get it back, and the way to get it back is to go back to the beginning. You know what I mean?
FF- Damn strait, Carl.
CW- Hi, I'm Carl Weathers.
FF- Hi, Carl.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:34:01 GMT -5
Nayr is WALKING! (not being interviewed)
(From behind him, Justin Sane runs up to him.)
Sane: Hey Bozo! Congratulations on your first-ever OOWF victory!
Nayr: It's Nayr, actually. And thanks.
Sane: You're welcome. I know how much it means coming from me. But on to business. Next Wednesday, you and Austraroo have a match against me and Thim.
Nayr: I know, it should be a fun match.
Sane: No, I want something else. See, you may know that I've been recently been having a bit of trouble with LADDER. See, he almost made me lose the number one contender's shot to the Onslaught Title. He's really getting annoying, and I'm having a bit more trouble than usual keeping my undefeated streak alive.
Nayr: ...
Sane: So anyways, I need to ask you a favor.
Nayr: What?
Sane: You might need to throw our match on Sunday.
Nayr: Huh?
Sane: You see, I have proven myself to be the greatest wrestler in the history of the OOWF. I've beaten the Underdawg. I've beaten Canadian Dragon. I've beaten them all. If it were a singles match, or even a handicap match, I know I could beat you. But Thim, I'm not so sure about. Frankly, I'm not sure he has what it takes. So just in the extremely off chance I won't be able to pick up the slack, you might just need to roll over, understand?
Nayr: But...
Sane; Look, Bozo, you could say we're friends, right?
Nayr: I guess... hey, didn't you mention LADDER before?
Sane: You see, Bozo, so much is riding on this match. The Establishment has told me they can get me into a match against LADDER. Why, at the Dance of Death PPV, he nearly prevented me from winning the number one contender's shot. I need this match against LADDER, and it might only happen if I win the match Wednesday.
Nayr: Sane, friends or not, that won't stop me from pounding your ass tomorrow.
(Viper pops up, but Nayr hasn't been here long, and doesn't know how this works. He continues talking, and Viper slinks away dejectedly.)
Nayr (continuing): I won't be able to enjoy the match if I don't give 110% (mathematical impossibility though that is).
Sane: Geez, Bozo, and here I thought you were a friend of mine.
(He pushes past Nayr, and leaves. Nayr looks confused while you can hear the sounds of Sane yelling at a vending machine in the background.)
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:34:23 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline walks into the bar where F.F Capslock and Carl Weathers are drinking.]
FFC: THERE'S THAT SON OF A BITCH!
JA: Hey, I didn't do anything! You nearly gave me a concussion with that chair!
FFC: Oh, and I'm sure you were gonna offer it to me so I could sit down and rest! I should've hit you a couple of more times, ya little shit!
JA: Look man, if you don't know why...
CW: Shut the fuck up, Johnny!
JA: Hey, that wasn't a line off Rocky!
CW: No, it's very smart.
FFC: Yeah, smart! Something you wouldn't know about Johnny boy!
JA: Man, the only reason I came here was to ask you if we could call a truce.
FFC: A truce?
RS: A truce? Damn...
JA: Yeah, a truce. Alan takes on Stank this week and I think it would be best if we both kept our distance.
FFC: I'll think about it. But I'll think about it when you get the fuck outta my face!
CW: Does this look like a damn circus to you?
JA: Fine, I'll leave. But next time...
FFC: There ain't gonna be a next time!
JA: [to Weathers] Next time, I'm bringing Lundgren.
CW: I'll beat him in three.
JA: Sure, Apollo.
[Johnny leaves as FFC and Weathers continue drinking.]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:34:45 GMT -5
*Hardbody Harris is standing in the locker room when he's approached by Sexy Female Journalist Marie Uh.*
Marie Uh: Hardbody! Hardbody! Look, I know I'm pretty, but I'm also rather dum. Look, I can't even spell when taIlking. Anyway, I'm sooo stupid I'm supposed to come in here and be all exasperated and stuff! What should I do?
*Hardbody looks her way, then looks back at his TRIK*D OWT TYTLE. Gremlins 2: The New Batch is playing in HD.*
Marie Uh: I SAID, I'm all exasperated and stuff! I'm hysterical and overcome with emotion! My mind is going a mile a minute!
*Hardbody chuckles at the female Gremlin with the lipstick. Comedy GOLD!*
Marie Uh: You know, usually women that are out of their minds are easy to, you know, MAKE OUT WITH. I mean, it would be really EASY to just french kiss me a bit, you know, to calm a hysterical woman down. WHICH I AM, by the way.
*Hardbody jumps back in terror at the electrical gremlin, but then realizes that it's not going to jump out of the belt. He regains his composure.*
*Meanwhile, Marie Uh walks up behind Hardbody and rests her boobs right on top of his head*
Marie Uh: Whoops. My boobs are right on top of your head!
*Hardbody scratches his scalp, barely missing her left breast, and then continues watching the movie. Gizmo is locked in a box. SO CUTE!*
Marie Uh: Oh, fuck it.
*She leaps over Hardbody's shoulders and lands on his lap, grinding against him like a stripper. At that very second, Shashwat Mishra runs in with a steel chair, and accidently hits Marie Uh across the mouth. Hardbody gets up in his face.*
Hardbody: Dude.....
*He reaches into his trunks, pulls out a flashlight, and shines it in Shashwats face. His screams of "Bright Light! Bright Light!" can be heard as he gallops down the hallway. Meanwhile, Hardbody bends down to the unconcious Marie Uh and starts kissing the #1 UNCONSCIOUS SFJ IN THE OOWF.
Word Life.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:35:08 GMT -5
<MHJ is storming down the halls looking his normal surly self, as he rounds the corner he nearly walks into Donovan Viper. The two ljust stare at each other for a moment>
DV: Jack
MHJ: Donnie
<awkward silence>
DV: I heard about you getting bumped to the tag division
MHJ: Yeah. Rick seems to have forgotten that I am still in the Invitational, when I win the tournament I get a title shot, I beat that idiot Harris and I am the champ. He's gonna look pretty stupid when he tries to move the world champ to the tag division
DV: Yeah, sounds liek a plan Ja....wait, when? you win the tournament? Jack uh, you may have forgotten that you have me this week in the tournament
MHJ: I haven't forgotten.
DV:<stepping close to Jack> So, you think you are gonna just walk over me then? I am the FORMER WORLD FUCKING CHAMPION
MHJ: Take a step back Donnie.
DV: Or what? Are you gonna tell me to trust you? <Ayaka appears with baseball bat in hand> See Jack, it is about time I reassert myself around here. Ever since I lost the title, I have been completely lost in the shuffle. This is MY chance to get to the top again, where I belong. Jack you are just the first victim.
MHJ: You know Donnie, I haven't had a problem with you, but you are about two seconds from getting my fist down your throat <Ayaka steps between them with the bat> And tell your little whore that I have no problem taking her out as well
DV:<grinning> COme on Ayaka, there will be plenty of time for this later. Jack we never settled things in the ring last time we met. This time, you bleed.
<MHJ watches Donnie walk away with an odd look on his face. Fade out>
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:35:34 GMT -5
The camera pans out on the sanest man alive as he relaxes in the locker room.
JS: Man that Preydator sure is a walkover, he lost even quicker than that time me, him and Arnie had that triple threat back in Nam.
Suddenly Thim busts into the room grabs Justin and slams him against the wall.
TR: Justin!
JS: Tim?
TR: Thim.
JS: Jim?
TR: Thim.
JS: Slim?
TR: THIM!
JS: That's what I said.
Thim shakes Justin shutting him up.
TR: Look I thought Eric and LD were joking about us as tag parnters, but I see were teaming up this week. Now I see you claiming I won't be able to hold up my end of the match, and calling me a member of the establishment. I thought LD allready warned you about that.
JS: What in the name of Sarah Jessica Alba are you talking about.
TR: Your promo with Nayr.
JS: Now why would I have a promo with a hair removal product.
Thim drags Justin over to a monitor, and replays the earlier incedent with Nayr.
TR: So what do you have to say now?
JS: Obviously that's not me.
TR: How do you figure?
JS: Well for one thing I never directly talk with my opponents pre match, two whomever that is got multiple wrestlers names correct which goes against my running gag, three I would never ask for someone to throw a match because I believe I'm an unstoppable engine of destruction, four I don't speak with faces, and five I would job to a vending machine not argue with it. I'm stupid not crazy.
Justin shakes his head as if clearing the cobwebs.
JS: Wow that last attack from ladder must have done more damage than I thought. What did I just say?
TR: (looking a little shocked) Don't worry about it, now about this tag match...
JS: Don't worry I've beaten Australia before and how much of a threat can an evil midget be?
TR: What are you babbling about? Look I don't know much about Nayr, but Austaroo is no push over.
JS: I've got bigger problems to worry about, haven't you noticed Ladder is all up in my buisiness.
Thim pauses an idea formulating in his mind.
TR: You know i've heard a rumor that Austaroo has been seen palling around with Ladder lately.
JS: What, tell me you jest.
TR: Naw man, they say he might even have helped ladder get the jump on you.
JS: That bastard! Tim grab your serving tongs, it looks like kangaroo and midget are on the menu tonight!
With that the Sanest Man Alive storms from the locker room leaving Thim behind with a satisfied smirk on his face.
TR: I just might be able to turn this situation to my advantage after all.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:35:57 GMT -5
FF Capslock and Carl Weathers are joined in the bar by Stank.
S- Hey...uh...you hang out with Carl Weathers now?
FF- Only seemed natural. You and Alan can't coexist. How could I possibly choose between the two of you? So now I hang out with Carl Weathers.
S- Well, I came here about business.
CW- Yeah, yeah. I mean business too.
FF- Thanks for the imput, Carl!
CW- I'm Carl Weathers.
FF- See why I like him?
S- Yeah, totally. But I have to fight Attitude Adjuster.
CW- Stank meets the Attitude Adjuster. Now that sounds like a damn monster movie.
FF- Isn't he fun?
CW- Carl Weathers.
FF- Yes you are.
S- But I just want to make sure that if you feel like interfering in that match, it ain't gonna be to help him.
FF- I dunno, man. I kinda like him better than you right now. We had those titles in our hands man. And you cost us the match.
S- YOU cost me MY match!
FF- I was helping you! If I hadn't come in Johnny would've hit you with a chair!
S- Well, if he would've, I'd have won that match and I'd still be in the damn tournament!
CW- You thought I was tough? This chump will kill you!
FF-...
S-...
CW- I am CARL WEATHERS!
S- Shut the fuck up, Carl.
FF- You do NOT talk to Carl Weathers like that!
S- Whatever, man, You just stay the hell away from my match. I'm gone.
Stank leaves
FF- Damn, man. That did not go well.
CW- It's too bad we've got to get old.
FF- Yeah...I know.
CW- Hi, I'm Carl Weathers.
FF- Hi again, Carl.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:36:19 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is backstage watching a video of Seraph's last few matches when Chris Cole enters*
CC: Ah, Alt. Just the man I was looking for.
CA: Yeah, sorry Cole. I don't swing that way. You may be looking for Donnie Viper.
DV: I AM NOT A--
CA and CC: YES YOU ARE.
*DV stands and glares at them for a moment, unsure of what to say. After a moment of awkward silence, he leaves*
CC: Yeah, pretty cute retort there.
CA: Ya know, Cole, I almost didn't recognize you without your flunkies. And if you came to me alone, you obviously didn't come to fight, because we all know you're not man enough to go one-on-one with me. So what the hell do you want?
CC: Well, I just came to help you keep everything in perspective. See, I know you probably think you're a big deal for making it to the final eight of the Invitational for the second year in a row. You probably even think that if you sit here and watch footage of Seraph you might be able to outwrestle him and make it to the Final Four. But what you're failing to realize is that your road stops with me.
CA: Is that so?
CC: Alt, you and me, this has been building up for months. I don't like your bosom buddy Harris, and I damn sure don't like you. So I'm going to use this tournament as a stepping stone to take you out, and then I'm going to take out Harris and then I become the OOWF World Champion and 3 Piece Set calls the shots around here. So I hope IF you beat Seraph, you enjoy the hollow victory. And I really hope you've enjoyed your career, because it ends soon.
CA: I'm sorry Cole, can you repeat that? I was thinking about Taco Bell.
CC: Whatever. I'll see you real soon, Alt. Maybe if I don't break your jaw Rick will let you give a farewell speech.
*CC leaves*
CA *shaking his head*: What a little bitch.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:36:39 GMT -5
Nayr is still WALKING!
(from behind him, Sane runs up to him, looking pissed)
Sane: Why you little jerk, Bozo! Why'd you go and cut a promo with someone who looks exactly like me? You know I would never throw a match!
Nayr: Actually, Sane, that was the first time I've ever met you outside of the ring. I only talked to you because we're supposed to be establishing a friendship, which was started at the Dance of Death PPV.
Sane: I keep telling you, Bozo, that wasn't me. I don't know who it was, but I would never ask you to throw a match against me and Slim Jim. I never even communicate with my opponents pre-match!
Nayr: You are right now.
Viper (who has been lurking, seeing his chance): I am not a homo!
Nayr: Dude, what the hell?
Viper: I'm sorry, I felt obligated to say that. Please, continue your conversation.
Sane (indignant): We are not conversating becaue I never conversate with my opponents pre-match! Geez, you try to keep character and stuff like this happens...
Viper (explaining to Nayr): You see, when you said before that you would "pound Sane's ass", I was supposed to say "I am not a Homo!". Therefore, I've been waiting for my chance to clear things up.
Sane: Well, as long as we've established that I would never ask anyone to throw a match and I never talk directly to my opponents pre-match, I guess I'll be on my way.
(As he leaves, he bumps into the same vending machine he started a fight with. It falls on him. Nayr shrugs and makes the three count, and continues walking.)
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:37:04 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack is in a sit down interview with SFJ13, in a room lit by a single bulb>
SFJ13: Uh, kinda dark in here isn't it Jack?
MHJ: So? This is where I do my best thinking.
SFJ13: But it is dark, filthy and disgusting in there.
MHJ: And?
SFJ13: Fine. What do you have to say about Donovan Viper's response to you this week?
MHJ: Well, look, me and Donnie go back a long way. We have only met in the ring once before, and that was before last year's Dance of Death. If you remember after the aborted match, I made an overture to him for an alliance.
SFJ13: But nothing ever came of that did it?
MHJ: I wouldn't say that. If you recall I gave Donnie some advice when he was facing Niles. He didn't win the title, but there is no animosity between us. He does his thing, I do mine.
SFJ13: That is certainly a large departure from your normal threats of violence.
MHJ: That is not to say Donnie won't bleed on Wednesday. He stands between me and my shot at destroying Harris or whoever has the title by then. Just because it is nothing personal does not mean it won't be violent.
SFJ13: SOme would say that Donovan Viper has lost his edge recently, what would you say to that?
MHJ: <long pause> There are times when you become so singularly focused on something that you completely lose yourself and you become predictable. Everyone goes through it, I did earlier this year before I got that idiot Hardbody Harris to give up his title. I think Donovan might be going through the same thing, there is something missing, he seems to have lost his edge somehow.
SFJ13: And a match against you will help him get it back?
MHJ: Hell I don't know. I know he is gonna bleed, I will bleed, it will be a fight. If that does it for him, so be it. But he is not going to win, Donnie, you had your chance, go find your smile, or whatever it is you need to do. You are not going to get back to the top at my expence, nothing personal, it just isn't going to happen. Trust me.
SFJ13: Would you like to comment on GM the Rick's decision to split up you Niles and Concrete?
MHJ:<chuckles> I am begining to come to the conclusion that someone up there is an idiot. Look, I have been in this business long enough to know that a hot feud is money. The three of us have a healthy hatred for each other, you could make a fortune on having us beat the hell out of each other week in and week out, and the three of us would probably be fine with that, I would have no problem finishing my career by ending theirs. But they seem to think we can't co-exist. That's fine. Rick can move Niles into the Intercontinental title division all he wants, there is no way he can beat LD Williams, not on his best night and LD's worst. After that little comment comparing LD to Johnny, Niles is lucky to still be breathing.
SFJ13: And Concrete?
MHJ: It's funny, Rick thinks he is ending the feud between me and Crete, but actually he is just prolonging it further.
SFJ13: How so?
MHJ: Because, right now, Crete is about to crack. He knows all this time I have been right, there is something inside him that is dying to come out, his true nature. Concrete has a violent side that rivals mine, but he keeps it safely tucked away. He is terrified that it would get out and ruin his reputation. And now, he is moving to the Onslaught division where that kind of thing is frowned on. As the weeks pass, it will be easier and easier to suppress that side of Crete. You think I will let that happen? At some point, we will cross again, and it all starts over again.
SFJ13: But why do you care so much? Why are you consumed with COncrete TG?
MHJ: Because the man is a fake. Look, people hate me because of who I am, and I make no bones about it, I am a blood thirsty savage. I would just as soon spill your blood as talk to you. I don't give a damn that the people hate me, I owe them nothing for what I have achieved. But Concrete, he is living a lie. He denies his true nature to get those idiot fans to cheer for him. He denies his true nature to get ahead. I have seen his dark side, if the moron fans saw it, they would boo the hell out of him. I won't rest until the fans see the real Concrete TG, even if it means my career.
SFJ13: And what about you moving to the tag ranks? Do you have a partner yet?
MHJ: No, I don't have a partner yet. And as for the move, like I told Donnie, when I win the tournament and get a shot at Harris, I will be the world champion. GM the Rick will look pretty foolish trying to move his world champion into a tag team.
SFJ13: Just to play Devil's Advocate for a moment, let's say you don't win the tournament, do you have anyone in mind for a partner?
MHJ: Yeah, I do, but I am not tipping my hand. Forget it. Let's just say that if the partner I have in mind does eventually pan out, we will own the tag titles
SFJ13: Would you care to comment on your fellow members in The Establishment?
MHJ: First of all, we are NOT the Establishment. We are four guys who have a common goal - mayhem.
SFJ13: Fair enough, LD Williams
MHJ: one of the toughest SOB's in the OOWF, and the man is no one's lackey. He is the best Intercontinental champion this company has ever seen, and had it not been for a fluke win by Chris Alt he would be the longes reigning champion.
SFJ13: Thim Reynolds
MHJ: Me and Thim go way back. The man has really found himself as of late. Along with Williams, he is just one guy you do not want to mess with. I have been in the ring with him, I would rather have him on my side
SFJ13: Eric O'Mac
MHJ: Eric does things a little differently than the rest of us, but you know what, you cannot argue with success. He has held that Onslaught championship longer than anyone thought he ever would.
SFJ13: Thank you for your time Jack
MHJ: Whatever, now get out of here.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:37:28 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline walks into the locker room and finds Attitude Adjuster packing up his bag of foreign objects. Brass knuckles, roll of quarters, alarm clock, circa-1988 portable phone, bottle of ether...]
JA: Hey man.
AA: Hey Johnny.
JA: What's up?
AA: Nothing.
JA: Look, uh... about the other day.
AA: I don't wanna hear it, man.
JA: What happened to the NUMBER ONE PROMO TEAM IN THE OOWF??
AA: One half decided that the other half can't find a new friend.
[Suddenly, Carl Weathers walks in.]
JA: What are you doing here?
AA: [to Carl] Ya'll goin out?
CW: [points at AA] I want YOU!
JA: Tude, you know you have a match against Stank to prepare for.
AA: Yeah, and?
JA: He's gonna destroy you.
CW: Well, if he can't fight, I bet he can cook.
JA: No, Apollo, he can't. Remember that time in Canada when you tried making that beef jerky?
AA: No, Johnny, I don't.
JA: Whatever, man. I'm just sayin that it would probably be a better idea to stay here and prepare for Stank.
AA: It's just one match.
CW: Ain't gonna be no rematch.
AA: Don't want one.
JA: Fine, ya'll go drink all you want. I don't care!
CW: [in Johnny's face] You're the luckiest man on the face of the planet! I want you to know that. Get up off that chair and let's finish this right now!
AA: [pulls Carl back] Don't worry about Johnny. He's just a little testy.
CW: Well, everyone's gotta learn... THE HARD WAY!
[AA and CW leave, and Johnny's cell phone rings.]
JA: Yeah, what? ... No, the angle ain't here yet! ... His WHAT? ... I didn't know he had one! ... Oh, this is good. ... Hey, I'll be in touch! [click]
[Johnny sighs, but gets a smile on his face as Niles Anderson walks in.]
JA: Hey champ!
NA: Johnny, where's Alan?
JA: Out with Apollo Creed and his new best friend.
NA: Oh, well, I got you some surprises.
JA: Ooh, what? I LOVE that jacket you got me!
NA: When he gets back, you guys find me okay?
[As Niles goes to leave, Johnny calls him back.]
JA: Hey Niles... no matter what AA is doing, I just wanna let you know that I got your back, man.
[Niles nods and leaves. Fade to black.]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:37:52 GMT -5
Hardbody Harris looks at the little girl standing in the rain just outside the arena with an outstretched hand holding an autograph book. She is standing alone. Hardbody walks towards her and bends down. “Hey Kid, where is your mom? Why are you here alone?” The camera zooms in on the kid’s face, tears are rolling down her cheeks. “That man told me to get your autograph, he has my sister tied up in that van.” Hardbody looks in the direction she is pointing and all he can see is a black van. He walks to the van. The cameraman shouts, “Mr. Harris, this is a case for the police. Why are you getting involved?” Hardbody ignores him. As he approaches the fan, the doors open. Two huge guys get out holding a young woman between them. Shashwat gets down from the driver’s seat. He walks confidently towards Hardbody. “Hey champ, see the bitch fan of yours? Want to see her get slapped around? It will be fun. She came her with the kid to get your autograph. I thought I would help her out a little.” “Why don’t you let her go, asshole?” “I will. Just fight me Hardbody. Just fight me. Right now, I am going to hit you. Hit me back and my buddies will hit the bitch. Seeing that you are the No 1 face in the OOWF, you would not want that to happen now, would you?” Hardbody looks at the young woman and then at the little girl. “Sure Shashwat. Bring it on. I swear to God, I will make you pay.” Shashwat grins. He shouts to his companions, “Hey guys! Put on a little music.” The song “Aadat” from the movie “Kalyug” starts playing. www.apniisp.com/songs/indian-movie-songs/kalyug/219/1.htmlShashwat hits Hardbody Harris on the face. Harris raises his hand but stops himself from retaliating. Shashwat hits Harris again and again on the face and on his stomach. HH falls face down in the mud. It is raining cats and dogs. The melancholy song keeps playing. Harris tries to get back to his feet and Shashwat hits him on the back of his head. HH stays down. Chris Alt arrives on the scene. Shashwat looks at him, “What are you going to do, Chris? What are you going to do? Touch me and the girl gets it.” HH shouts, “Get the police Chris! This guy is nuts.” Chris watches helplessly as Shashwat takes out a big leather belt and uses it on HH. Momentarily, sirens are heard in the distance. Shashwat drops the belt and makes a run towards the van. The little girl runs after him. She and the young girl get in the van. The two guys get in as well. “Suckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” yells Shashwat at HH. HH raises his head to see the young girl laughing. She blows him a kiss as the van drives away.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:38:12 GMT -5
***VIDEO PACKAGE***
Narrator (The Preview Guy Voice) - Out of the main event and into the mire of the midcard, one man has been unjustly persecuted. Forced to bring mediocre talent up to his level, this man will restore luster to the Intercontinental ranks.
*Cue up intense symphonic music as the image of an extremely well defined, chiseled yet lean calf (calf n. pl. calves (kvz, kävz) The fleshy muscular back part of the human leg between the knee and ankle) appears on screen. The camera starts panning up to an equally impressive thigh and still further...*
Narrator - One man will show all the divisions that no matter where half-brained GM's put him, he will make it the top draw of any show.
*The cameras are now focusing on an extremely nice stomach, in full six pack form and still further up to impressive pectorals.*
Narrator - Despite his decreased pay, one man will shine above all others. This man is...
*The camera is now slowly panning up to the face. We see the well defined jaw. Who could it be? Is it? No.... it can't be!*
Narrator - Arnold Schwarzenegger?
*Arnold is seen smiling widely as he begins to flex. All of a sudden, someones hand comes from offscreen and slaps him hard in the face then reverses quickly to deliver a backhand before he can react. The camera zooms out just in time to see Niles Anderson deliver a Steed-D-T on Mr. Universe himself. He then applies a Precision Incision on him.*
Niles - And this is how it feels for the tax-paying people of California!
AS (in full Ah-Nuld accent) - Ahhhh... my testicles. Even if they ah nod in propotion to the rest of mah body, they still hurt.
*Niles releases the Precision Incision and stands up.*
Niles - I have the #1 BULGE IN THE OOWF and I am coming straight to the MIDCARD!!! BITCHES DON'T KNOW!!!
*Niles spits on the camera lense as we Fade to Black.*
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:39:11 GMT -5
(CTG is working out at a "Dungeon" Gym in a small corner of Malahide Castle . He finishes a round of bicep curls with some 7st weights (about 100lb) when a red-headed SFJ approaches him.
RHSFJ: Concrete, I know you don't like being interrupted in your daily regimens, but I was wondering if we could get an opinion onsome statements Moosehead Jack recently made about you.
CTG: (puzzled) but not about my match with Canadian Dragon and Phil? At least that's new.
RHSFJ: Some of the things Moose said were curious, at best......
RHSFJ: your thoughts?
CTG: My thoughts? Moose is the only one who's cracked. He's been saying that I'm "about to crack" for well over a year now. He's wrong. To his credit, I wasn't cracked - at times I've been shattered by his manipulations, deceit, and bloodlust. I have had to step back, pick up the pieces and begin again, and that's what I've been doing since we came here.
RHSFJ: Moose says he isn't done with you....
RHSFJ: Would you care to comment on this?
CTG: I'd rather not, but I will set the record straight. Moose honestly thinks that he has somehow bent my brain in a direction of primal lust, with a taste for blood and a desire for destruction. He confuses "desires" with "adaptability". I was willing to fight HIS fight to show that I can defeat him at his own game, show him that blood for blood, like some of the conflicts here, becomes nothing more than a vicious cycle, and that eventually it will consume a man like Moosehead Jack. As his tag partner I tried to move him away from that, showing him that even Justice can use bullies like him, but he refuses to acknowledge that there is good to him. What you see in that video, my dear, is a man consumed by his obsessions. That chapter of my career is over and I am ready to move on.
RHSFJ: General Manager The Rick has decreed that you will be moved to the Onslaught division, taking you away from the main event picture. Are you disappointed?
CTG: Who wouldn't be disappointed? I would rather be chasing the OOWF title given how close I've come, but it seems the Rick has other plans for me. He commented to me once that he wanted "the old Concrete back" and perhaps being in a division away from bloodshed and barbed wire would do me some good.
RHSFJ: will we see the "old" Concrete again?
CTG: I don't know about the "old" concrete, but maybe one that smiles again.
RHSFJ: Last week you were seen talking with our international superstar, LADDER. Have you two worked together before?
CTG: Actually, no, but I did manage to get a hold of a couple of his tapes. Even Moose could learn from him.
RHSFJ: one last question - you have a triple threat match against Canadian Dragon and Phil.
CTG: I've never faced Phil before, but he will be an interesting test. I've faced hellhounds, half-demons and misplaced royalty in other leagues before I came here to the OOWF but I don't think I've ever had to deal with a zombie robot ninja pirate.
RHSFJ: from SPACE!
CTG: Let's just say it's so now I'm really looking forward to the match. Canadian Dragon, I think I've not faced much if at all, so that too will make the match challenging.
(CTG gathers the two weights)
CTG: now if you'll excuse me, I've got more work to do. (walks out of the shot, not showing much strain carrying the 7st weights)
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:39:33 GMT -5
Later that day
-Matt Daddy is helping himself to some refreshments at the snack bar. He cracks open a can of red bull when Chuck Norris enters the room.
Matt: "Woah! This stuff is killer!"
Chuck: "Smarten up partener... you got a match against some chump named Soul Dragon..."
Matt: "Sounds intimidating."
Chuck: "I hear he's a walk in the park. But that's not what I want to discuss with you... You need to do something to prove your worth around here or you'll be in the minor leagues for a very long time. You're new around here... you need to show everyone around here that you're the boss! You should be champ..."
Matt: "But Chuck... I don't want any praises... I just want to wrestle."
Chuck: "Smarten up, if you want to accomplish anything in life, you can't just sit back and hope it will happen. You've got to make it happen."
Matt: "You might be right... I'll tell you what... I'll go talk to GMtR about a match with the champ of this division... We'll see how that goes."
-Chuck Norris smiles proudly as he watches Matt Daddy walk away.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:39:58 GMT -5
[Scene cuts into F.F. Capslock, Attitude Adjuster, & Carl Weathers sitting around a table at the local bar eating, drinking, being merry, and watching TNA on the television.]
CW: We had a deal!
FFC: Well, I know we had a deal, but…
CW: You owe me a favor.
FFC: I know, but I just don’t see anybody here that looks like a good fit.
AA: You were heavyweight champion of the boxing world, but now you wanna go after the second most coveted tag team titles in the wrestling business?
CW: Why do you think I’m sitting down here with you?
FFC: That was fake, Alan. In reality, he was a badass linebacker for the Oakland Raiders back in the day, weren’t ya Carl?
CW: I’m Carl Weathers.
AA: Well, it’s better than playing second fiddle to Hogan on that made for TBS movie a few years back.
FFC: [going down a paper he has in his hand] Chris Alt? No, already has a best friend and sometimes tag team partner.
AA: What about Blackdragon?
FFC: Currently teaming with UnderDawg, and besides, why you gotta automatically team the black guys together?
AA: Don’t know about you, but I kinda liked the Nation of Domination.
RS: Damn!
FFC: I ain’t seein nobody here, man. Moose, no. Capellan, no. Predator…
AA: Great movie! You were awesome in it, Carl!
CW: I’m Carl Weathers.
FFC: Eric… Seraph… Firechild… none of these work.
CW: Well, get me Buddy Shaw! Hell, he’s ranked fifth!
AA: [to FFC] Huh?
FFC: [to AA] Don’t mind him. He’s cool, trust me.
AA: [turns to TV] Man, Samoa Joe’s killin him!
CW: He’s hookin! He’s hookin!
DV: I AM NOT A HOMO!
CW: Is he always like this?
AA: Yeah, but we tolerate it cause deep down, we love the guy.
FFC: I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!
[On the television, Joe gets the tap out victory over X-Division JTTS Chris Sabin.]
CW: Ding, ding!
FFC: You really wanna do this wrestling thing, huh?
CW: [to TV] You’re next, Joe! You’re next, Joe!
AA: Um, I don’t think Goldberg’s goin to TNA anytime soon.
FFC: [taps AA on the arm] Just let him go.
CW: Be back in a minute.
[CW walks off to use his cell phone.]
AA: Okay, before I left the arena, I promised Johnny I’d plan for Stank while I was out. You know him better than anyone. How should I do this?
FFC: Alan, I love you, man, but Stank doesn’t care much for you right now. If I were you, I might wanna think about backing out of this match.
AA: Like postpone it? Okay, say I back out, somebody else comes in and whips this chump. Now where does that leave me?
[The entire bar stops and turns to AA.]
AA: [confused] What?
CW: [breaks the silence from across the room] And he can call me collect!!
FFC: [looks back at Carl, then back to AA] I’m just sayin, go for the cheap DQ early or something. You’re good at that, aren’t ya?
AA: Yeah, that’s a good idea. Okay, I planned. Want another drink?
FFC: Sure! Another round! What you want Carl? Southpaw?
CW: Southpaw nothin’!
[The three guys turn to watch more TNA, as Jeff Jarrett retains his title by beating some random jobber who somehow managed to get a title shot.]
CW: [to TV] You’re a fake! The fight was a fake! Go kill yourself!
FFC: [to AA] Well, he’s got the promo part down.
AA: But, Carl, that guitar he’s got. Didn’t someone get a severe concussion back in the day off one of Honky Tonk Man’s guitars? Guitars are dangerous.
CW: Dangerous… dangerous… I’m dangerous!
[Johnny Adrenaline walks into the bar.]
FFC: THERE’S THAT SON OF A BITCH!
AA: [turning around, but can’t see anybody] Who?
FFC: JOHNNY BOY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! Me and Carl are gonna pound the crap out of him. Wanna throw him off that bridge out there?
CW: Can he swim?
AA: Guys, guys… leave Johnny alone, man. He ain’t gonna hurt nobody.
FFC: That’s right, cause we’re gonna hurt him first.
AA: Will you two stop it?
CW: You ain’t stoppin’ nothin’ man.
[FFC and CW get up and walk across the bar toward Johnny, and AA gives chase. However, as Capslock and Weathers get close to Johnny, Stank walks in the door.]
Stank: Funny I find you two… oh, hey Alan… make that you THREE here again. And I don’t even get invited.
JA: [finally turning around to acknowledge everyone] Hey ya’ll. What, there a party or something?
FFC: Come on, Carl, let’s pound him!
DV: If there’s gonna be any pounding goin on…
FFC: Shut the fuck up, Donnie!
JA: Hey, I’m just here to get a six pack for the hotel, okay. Ya know, since I didn’t get invited to this little shindig.
Stank: Oh, you didn’t either, Johnny? Imagine that. Ya know, there’s a bar across the way if you wanna hang out for a while.
JA: Ya know, Stank… that’s not a bad idea.
[Johnny and Stank leave.]
FFC: What’s with them two? They’re not partners!
AA: Ya know, Carl. That’s a nice shirt. Can I borrow it sometime?
CW: You just make sure you wash it before you give it back.
[fade out]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:40:18 GMT -5
Predator is backstage w/ Mr. Int
Pred: So, how'd you like that 360 piledriver through the table?
-Mr. Int is in clear pain, wearing a neck brace-
Mr. Int: Please, Predator, no more pain, I just wanted to ask you how you felt about last weeks match against Justin Sane
Pred: Match!?! You call that a match?? I call it a muthafucking BEATDOWN!!! Justin Sane was a complete piece of shit. I can't believe that guys still allowed around here, but it is nice to walkover a jobber like that every now and then.
Mr. Int: I guess so, you sure did beat the hell out of him. So, do you have any thoughts about your match with MicroPlay?
Pred: No, I really don't, unless you want to find yourself through a table again-
Mr. Int: PLEASE NO!!!
Pred: Alright, Alright, calm down bitch. I'll leave you alone on one condition.
Mr. Int: Which is?
Pred: SHUT THE FUCK UP IM NOT DONE THINKING!!
Mr. Int: Ok, Ok, I'm Sor-
Pred: You know what, fuck it. I say don't talk, you talk. What a goddamn retard. Too bad for you, but I guess since your so stupid I'll have to give you one more lesson...
-in a repeat of last week, Pred decides to deliver the 360 piledriver. This time he sets up a table, lights it on fire, and climbs to the top of a nearby ladder with Mr. Int. Just as Pred is getting ready to deliver the move, Justin Sane runs in. Pred drops Mr. Int on his head, breaking his neck, and Justin Sane runs up the ladder. Pred gets the better of him and sets him up, and delivers the 360 piledriver through the flaming table. Justin Sane may be dead.
Pred: I know I need to come up with a witty punchline here for that chump MicroPlay, but fuck it. I don't need a punchline, because I cause people to fucking flatline. IT'S OVER FOR YOU, MICROPLAY!!!!!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:40:39 GMT -5
Tommy O'neil is walking down the hall to the locker room...we hear him talking to himself.
TO: ferry wanka..i cunna stan dat gaddam nuncy boyo...I wanna gi him a goo lef 'ook righ in his fekkin tee-
He walks in the door and walks into a room that lloks like a tornado hit it. Harper's gear is all there strewn about, except for his title belt, Ayaka's bat is laying in the middle of the floor and her clothes a crumpled in the corner. In the middle of the mess is a puzzled looking Donnie Viper.
DV: Hey Tommy you seen Ayaka?
TO: Ar eya fekking daft? Her fekkin shite is alova. Arpa's gi'in tha cunt a gud wha for.
DV: no I haven't seen Harper either....I was looking for Ayaka and those succulent breasts of hers.
TO: Jesus Fekkin Chris' on a gaddam biskit yas a fekking ferry wanka....I dunna wot Arpa as got us runnin' wit ya fo.
DV: Well, Yeah we better find Harper too....I'll go check Harris's locker room...
TO: ya bet...ya go do dat annu dun suk any wankas off alon da way. Fekkin ferry nancy boyo.
Viper leaves and all of a sudden we hear Harper from the bath room area of the Locker room
HC: OH YEAH!!! WHO"S YOU CHAMP BABY!!!!!!
a couple seconds later harper walks out with only his title covering his junk.
HC: yeah, you go ahead and clean up baby your champ 'll be out here waiting.
TO: fekkin chris'.....Duhnnie almost got ya....put on sum fekkin nickas and let go ta da blaster unna get sum Guiness. end scene
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:41:10 GMT -5
Stank - How is he gonna replace ME with CARL FRICKEN WEATHERS!
JA - I know. I know.
Stank - He's not a wrestler! He's not even a real BOXER!
JA - You think you're the only one with troubles? Capps doesn't even want to do promos with me any...
Stank - Shut the f@ck up Johnny. We're talking about ME right now.
JA - GRRRRRRRRR!
Stank - Oh? Is there something you want to say?
JA - As a matter of fact there is... That SFJ you left for me as a present...
Stank - What about her?
JA - WRONG INTIALS BUDDY!
Stank - What are you talking about?
JA - THAT wasn't an s - F - j that was very much a MAN! YOU SET ME UP WITH A MAN!... A MAN DAMMIT!
DV - I AM NOT A HOMO!
JA - EXACTLY!
Stank - Wha... wait! When I left your locker room she was a female... believe me!
JA - When I got there, there was a naked DUDE standin... wait a minute... what do you mean, BELIEVE YOU? ... Did you... Did you SAMPLE the GOODS?
Stank - Yes I did. And I'm telling you I left explicit instructions for SFJ#8 to stay their until you arrived!
JA - First of all... ewwww. I don't want your sloppy seconds. Second... I'm teling YOU. There was no SFJ#8 there. Just that naked DUDE with a smile on his face!
DV - HEY! I AM NOT A HOMO!
JA - This is what I'm saying!
Stank - I don't know what to tell you Johnny. I can't be held responsible for what happened after I left. For what it's worth she told me she was really into you, go figure. I have no idea why she left and I have even a LESS idea why there was a naked dude there.
JA - Well next time you want to do me a favor... DON'T!
Stank - Fine... don't get laid then!
JA - No... wait.
Stank - No. No. Forget it.
JA - I'm sorry Stank. Really... I didn't mean to sound ungrateful.
Stank - No... it's too late.
JA - C'mon man!
Stank - Well...
SFJ's numbers three through nine walk into the bar and are seated at a nearby booth. Stank motions number eight over to where he and Johnny are sitting.
Stank - What happened to you?
SFJ#8 - What do you mean?
Stank - I asked you to wait for Johnny here the other day.
SFJ#8 - Wait a minute? HE'S Johnny Adrenaline?
JA - Of COURSE I am!
SFJ#8 - Ut oh!
Stank - What do you mean, ut oh?
SFJ#8 - I thought the guy in the bar across the street was Johnny Adrenaline.
Stank - What guy?
SFJ#8 - The the guy with the soft belly sitting next to the big guy with the ZZ top beard and I think... Apollo Creed was there.
JA - You mean... Capps?
Stank - Wait a minute... You slept with ALAN!
SFJ#8 - Who?
JA - ATTITUDE ADJUSTER! You had SEX with MY PARTNER? HOW could you CONFUSE HIM with ME? STANK said you were into ME!
SFJ - I thought the other guy was Johnny Adrenaline?
Stank- No. That was Alan...
JA - I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HIM!
Stank - You'll have to forgive Johnny Boy here. he's sexually fustrated.
JA - I AM NOT!
Stank - Will you calm down. We'll fix this. Sheesh... Well, at least half this mystery is solved.
JA - Yeah... who was that naked guy in my locker room?
SFJ#8 - Um... I think that was Jesus.
Stank - Jesus? Girl this ain't the second coming.
JA - Oh good lord! I think she means Kidneypuncher!
Stank - Who?
JA - Hay-Soose C Kidneypuncher. Now that I think about it... It did kinda look like him... ewww! WHY was he SMILING at ME?
Stank - Why was he naked?
RS - Damn.
JA - I can't believe Capps took my GIFT! I haven't been laid in months and CAPPS STEALS MY ONE CHANCE AT...
Stank- Don't worry about him. This just gives me another reason to beat his ass.
DV - I BEAT ASSES!
Everyone in the bar turns and looks at Viper.
DV - I mean... NOT A HOMO! NO, NOT ONE AT ALL!
Stank - Donnie. Did it ever occur to you that by proclaiming yourself not to be gay, you are in fact perpetuating the idea that you are...
DV - What?
Stank - Gay.
DV - I AM NOT...
JA - Oh get YOUR OWN PROMO Viper!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:41:42 GMT -5
<JW Westgaard is in the hall way, on the phone...>
JWW: ....OK Doc - Well, can you at least tell me when you expect Tommy to be released? OK....Yeah, I understand... Thanks, Tell the Kid I'll call him later -
<O'Neil and Camby walk by>
Camby: Well, look here partner - ut's 1/2 of the FORMER tag champs...
O'Neil: Ye mean 'af o' a former tag team, donch'a 'Arper? <Laughs>
JWW: Laugh it up - those belts are coming back soon enough.
HC: Sez who? Got news for you Hockey-man, you gotta have a tag team to win the belts, and the word is that your XGame Little Buddy AIN'T coming back at all.
JWW: Camby, you gotta stop injecting that crap directly into your brain - you're doing some permanent damage.
HC: <Starting to turn red> Oh yeah? Answer this tough man - I though Wilder was some wonder kid, crash and get up, no challenge to big, nothin' stops him - so why hasn't he talked about comin back?
TO: 'Cause 'e ain't - e's too scared.
JWW: You think so? You don't know Wilder.
TO: Don't need ta - know the type. 'E's a tuff man until the reaper gets close - then 'e turns scared.
JWW: You keep thinking that mush-mouth.
HC: And you think about this - IF Wilder comes back,I just might make sure he doesn't make it back into the ring. THEN what are you gonna do, huh? Only other guy here to partner with is Sufer-boy.
TO: And I tink that Viper is still takin a shine to 'im. Might be too busy to 'elp you out.
HC: Take our advice. Get out of the tag division. Maybe The GM will let you curtain-jerk with that Sane punk...
TO: But wha'ver ya do, don't cross us Westgaard - or there be the Devil to pay.
<The Devil's Brigade walk off>
JWW: Son of a bitch.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 23, 2008 15:42:34 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline barges into the bar across the street where F.F. Capslock, Attitude Adjuster, and Carl Weathers are drinking AGAIN.]
JA: Alan!
AA: Man, Johnny, I thought you were back at the hotel.
JA: Actually, Alan, instead of you coming back to the arena so we could get gifts from Niles, I heard YOU were at the hotel!
AA: And...? You say that like it's a crime.
JA: You stole my girl, man!
AA: Huh?
CW: Do everybody a favor and drop this bum.
JA: SFJ #8? Does THAT ring a bell with you?
AA: Oh... my bad.
FFC: Explains why she was calling you "Johnny."
JA: Oh, so you told your friend here all about it, huh?
FFC: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!
[Johnny grabs AA by the shirt and pulls him out of his chair.]
AA: Hey, this is Carl's shirt!
CW: WHAT'S THE MATTER WIT JOO?
JA: This is between me and him, Apollo!
AA: What, Johnny, you gonna fight me right here?
JA: That's exactly what I'm gonna do!
CW: Get your hands up man! It's time to go to school!
[Johnny lunges back for a punch, but Weathers steps in and boxes Johnny back across the middle of the bar.]
CW: Get the cameras ready! He's goin down!
[Weathers clocks Johnny with a right hook and Adrenaline falls to the floor.]
CW: Get up, man!
[Johnny crawls to his feet and backs down.]
JA: Alan... we're through!
[Johnny, selling his busted up mouth,walks out of the bar as Capps no-sells Johnny's announcement and goes back to drinking.]
|
|