OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!
Live! From Hella, Iceland
JOSH O’NEAL vs. MERCURYMercury hits the ring first, and seems to be anxiously awaiting his opponent. As Josh O’Neal makes his way to the ring, Mercury comes off the far ropes and over the top with a suicide dive. JO catches him, muscles him into a military press, and throws him back through the ropes. JO rolls into the ring and it’s on. Mercury manages to get to his knees, but a clubbing blow from JO drives him back to the mat. JO off the ropes and drives a leg into Mercury’s throat. JO rolls over, pins Mercury’s shoulders with his knees, and wails away with forearms to the face. Referee Junior Hale attempts to pull JO off but gets shoved aside. JO gets to his feet, brushing off Junior’s attempts to reprimand him. The distraction allows Mercury to get back to his knees. When JO turns back to him, Mercury starts hammering him with rights and lefts to the midsection. Mercury gets to his feet and rakes the eyes. JO blocks a suplex attempt, drives a knee into Mercury’s midsection, and drills him with a DDT. JO rolls Mercury over, grabs his legs and locks on the O. Damn! Mercury struggles, and just barely manages to stretch far enough to grab the ropes. JO refuses to break until Junior’s DQ count reaches four. As JO argues with Junior, Eric O’ Mac comes through the curtain and stands at the top of the ramp. JO turns from the ref and stares at EOM as if issuing a challenge. EOM raises his hands and shakes his head, making it clear he’s only observing. JO shrugs and goes back to his opponent. He picks Mercury up and throws him to the ropes. Mercury ducks a clothesline attempt and comes back with a leg lariat that rocks JO. Mercury hits a dropkick that causes JO to stumble, but not go down. Mercury springs to the top rope and leaps, but JO catches him and uses Mercury’s momentum to hit a spinning side slam. Mercury is out of it, but JO picks him up instead of going for the pin. JO spins behind Mercury, hooks him, and nails the Osaka Street Cutter. JO roles Mercury over and locks on the O. No. Mercury struggles, but not for long. He has no choice but to Tap. WINNER in 10:29, Josh O’Neal.
AUSTRAROO vs. PHILAustraroo comes to the ring and eyes Phil, he certainly has his work cut out for himself tonight. Roo will have to use his significant speed advantage to try and offset the massive weight disadvantage. Referee Gavin Hale goes over the instructions and calls for the bell, this one is underway. Roo circles Phil looking for an opening. Roo darts in and gets little kicks in on Phil’s legs, Phil mostly swats them away and they have little effect. Roo darts in, but Phil catches him and scoops him up for a slam, but Roo works over Phil’s shoulder and lands behind him, and lands a perfect drop kick to the back of Phil’s head that sends Phil staggering to the ropes. Roo darts in and hits Phil with a clothesline, but it really has no effect, he retreats, hits the ropes and charges again, this time catching Phil with a drop kick to the knee that actually drops him to one knee. Austraroo bounds off the opposite ropes again and goes for another shot, but Phil gets back to his feet and catches Roo with a big boot to the face that nearly knocks Roo cold. Phil falls against the ropes and tries an elbow drop, but Roo rolls out of the way, Phil gets to his feet and tries another, but once again, Roo rolls out of the way. This time Roo springs to his feet and hits the ropes and catches Phil in the side of the head with a knee as he gets to one knee. Phil shakes his head and wobbles, Roo hits the ropes and tries again but Phil catches him coming off the ropes and lifts him for an airplane spin. Phil must spin a couple of dozen times then finally drops Roo. Roo looks like he his holding on to the mat for dear life, Phil barely takes a sideway step. Phil hits the ropes and drops a massive leg across Austraroo’s chest, yep that’ll do it. Hale hits the mat, one, two, thr…NO! Roo manages to roll his shoulder! Phil is understandable amazed. Phil gets up and slowly pulls Austraroo to his feet and whips him to the ropes and catches him with a back body drop that sends Roo soaring high into the air. Roo pulls himself up by the ropes and falls into the corner, Phil traps him in the corner, grabs him by the head and delivers a series of head buts until Austraroo is hanging limply in the corner. Phil then picks Roo up and sets him on the top rope. Roo is trying to get his bearings, and Phil calls for a TOP ROPE YAR-PLEX! Phil climbs to the bottom rope, then the second rope, PHIL IS ON THE TOP ROPE!!! Roo fights for his life, nailing Phil with shots to the mid section and the head. Roo rakes Phil’s eyes, then hits a karate thrust to the throat. Phil teeters for a moment, THEN FALLS BACKWARD OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! Gavin Hale is shot a few feet into the air, Phil is knocked goofy. Austraroo stands on the top rope and hits a 720 moonsault! Cover, 1,2,3! WHAT AN UPSET!
WINNER in 12:41 Austraroo
SIRIRAM vs. UNCLE ENTITYJunior Hale is YOUR Referee!
Stare down to start. Entity smirks at Siriram and offers him a hand before the match starts, and when Siriram actually takes it, Entity twists it quickly into a top wristlock and forces Siriram to his knees. Entity gets his free arm on Siriram's shoulder and tries to keep Siriram on his knees before kicking him in the chest and letting go. Siriram rolls on the mat holding his chest as Entity closes for more damage. Siriram is hauled to his feet and whipped to the ropes where he gets a knee to the gut and a polish hammer to the back, once again putting him on his knees. From there Entity goes into MAT RASSLIN mode, where the two trade and counter holds for the delight of the crowd. The exchange only lasts a minute or two, ending with the two facing each other in ready crouches. The applause eases the tension for the moment before the two lock up in a standard elbow-collar, pushing each other around the ring. Entity puts Siriram in the corner and puts a boot to Siriram’s throat! Ref "Junior" Hale tries the five count but gets pushed away on 3 so Siriram gets another few seconds of torture. Junior threatens the DQ and Entity pushes away, sending Junior out of the ring before he gets hurt. This gives Siriram time to recover and Entity eats clothesline when he turns around again. Siriram stomps furiously on Entity before hauling him back to his feet and slinging him for another corner. Siriram splashes Entity in the corner, who staggers and lands on his face in the center of the ring. Siriram grins and seats himself on Entity's back, leaning forward to give him some cross face forearms before pulling back both of his arms, hyper extending them behind Entity's back and "Grapevining" them, securing them in place before leaning back, grabbing the legs and sitting up, legs pulled back Boston crab style. The crowd oohs and aahs, while Entity screams as his shoulders, hips, and elbows are all being pulled out of joint at the same time! He has no choice but to give up. WINNER by submission in 9:59 Siriram
Post-match, Siriram rocks Entity a couple of times before the rest of the officials drag him off Entity, The EMTs come for him shortly after.
MICROPLAY vs. PREDATORPredator is already in the ring and intimidating referee Gavin Hale, so he doesn’t see Microplay racing down the entry way and sliding into the ring. MP attacks with a flurry of lefts and rights and then changes up with a flurry of rights and lefts. The punch alteration only affects Predator for a second until he throttles MP by the throat and tosses him across the ring. Predator then threatens Hale, asking why he didn’t warn him about MP. MP recovers and charges at Predator again, aiming with a clothesline. Predator turns and ducks, and MP brakes hard to stop from clothesline the ref. Hale starts to warn MP, and MP apologizes, then turns and is CRUSHED with a clothesline by Predator. Predator flexes at the ref, who backs down, and Predator goes full into brute-force offense. Predator backs MP into the corner and delivers a series of kicks to the stomach, then stomps a mud hole through MP. Whip cross ring and MP does the Ric Flair flip over the corner, and continues to fly to the floor. Predator steps to the ring apron and waits for MP to get to his feet, then runs off the apron and delivers a wicked running clothesline that literally takes Microplay’s head off. No, seriously. MP’s head is rolling toward the Botswanian Announce Table, there’s blood everywhere and the celebrity announces, the Botswanian Tag Team Champions Cannibal #1 and Cannibal #3 (Cannibal #2 died in a freak quail hunting accident) look like they’re ready for dinner. It’s a pretty sick sight. Oh, OK, not literally. But it’s damn close. MP looks to be nearly out of it, so Predator tosses him back into the ring. Predator takes his time getting back in, whips MP into the corner and charges. AND MP MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!! Predator goes shoulder-first into the ring post. MP staggers to the middle of the ring and falls down, facing away from Predator. MP’s getting his bearing, staggers back to his feet and IS KILLED WITH ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE!!! Predator shook off the ring post shot! And now he’s going outside the ring for a chair. He slides the chair into the ring and gets a verbal warning from Hale. Predator picks up the chair but Hale latches onto the other end. They briefly play tug-o-war with the chair but Predator wins. He winds up for a shot at MP, but MP is ready with a DROPKICK TO THE CHAIR! Predator eats the chair and staggers. MP bounces off the ropes with a pair of running axe handles that wobbles Predator, then clips the knee to take Predator down. A top-rope axe handle gets MP a one-count, but Predator quickly tosses MP off. MP stays on the attack, raking the eyes and working the knee clipped earlier because he understands continuity. MP pulls Predator over to the ring post and wraps the leg around the post, then applies the Outside-The-Ring Figure Four!!! Ref finally forces the break and argues with MP. MP finally has enough arguing and climbs to the top rope. Predator gets to his feet and meets MP at the top, and with a few clubbing blows has the edge. Looks like Predator’s trying for the 360 Pile driver off the top rope! But MP, being the wise veteran he is, realizes it’s real difficult to do a 360 Pile driver off the top rope without getting killed, and low blows Predator! Predator falls off the top like he’s been shot by Dick Cheney!!! MP recovers, stands tall and crushes Predator with a Flying Elbow Drop!!!! MP goes for the pin, pulls the tights for good measure and just gets the three count before Predator kicks out. WINNER in 17:19, Microplay
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. SERAPHRapid fire exchange of hammer locks and head locks leads to CD snapping Seraph over with a head scissors. Seraph quickly back to his feet only to catch a CD drop kick flush to the face. Seraph rolls out and slaps the apron in frustration. He gets back into the ring and teases a lock up before booting CD in the knee and giving him a beautiful European uppercut. Two more and Seraph sends CD into the ropes. CD ducks a clothesline and fires off a side kick. Seraph catches it and spins him around into a waist lock. CD elbows free, so Seraph pounds him in the back and gives him a clothesline to the back of the head. SD mauls him with elbows to the back of the head but only gets a 2 count. Knee drops net the same result. CD is on dream-street but refuses to quit. CD capitalizes on an errant charge and hits a Dragon Suplex. He can’t hold the bridge though, so both are down. They come up slugging it out and Seraph is getting the better of the exchange. Seraph attempts a slam of some sort and CD counters into a Dragon Sleeper~!!! Seraph gets to the ropes. CD maintains control and puts the boots to Seraph. CD gets a huge tornado DDT for 2. Canadian Destroyer~!!! Countered into a back body drop and Seraph goes back on the attack with chokes and mounted punches. Beautiful DDT gets Seraph a 2 count. Sharp Shooter~!!! Countered into an inside cradle. CD hits several pinning combinations that keep Seraph off balance. A little counter wrestling sends Seraph into the turn buckles. CD gets hot shot into the turnbuckles and Seraph rebounds off the far ropes with the Propitiation~!!! and keeps CD’s shoulders on the mat for 3.
WINNER in 21:18: Seraph.
CD complains about a fast count. When the ref stands firm, CD decapitates him with a clothesline. Seraph is half-way up the ramp when CD rolls out of the ring, grabs the ring bell and dashes up behind him. Metal meets skull and metal wins. CD pulls Seraph to his feet and destroys him with a Canadian Destroyer~!!! on the entrance ramp. Canadian Dragon stands over Seraph for a moment then drops the bell and leaves. Seraph struggles to his feet, staggers a few steps up the ramp, then EATS a spear from a charging Mr. Jealous! Jealous then hauls Seraph up and DESTROYS him with a Jealous Rage!
MATT DADDY vs. FIRECHILDFirechild stands in the ring awaiting the entrance of Matt Daddy. After about 30 seconds and no sign of MD, Firechild argues with the ref and forces him to start a count out. At four, however, MD comes from behind the curtain with his head wrapped in bandages like a Civil War soldier and his stomach wrapped because all wrestlers with injuries have their stomach wrapped. Go figure. Firechild slides out of the ring and the brawl is on! MD surprisingly gets the advantage and whips FC toward the ring post. But FC reverses and sends MD into the post head-first. That’s all it takes, as MD comes up with blood oozing from his head bandage. FC takes advantage and unwraps the bandage to reveal a severe head wound. For good measure, FC uses the bandage to choke MD until the ref threatens a DQ and forces the break. MD staggers around ringside so the crowd can get a good look at the blood. Some deranged fan dabs a French fry in the cut and eats the fry. MD rolls into the ring and FC follows, putting the boots to the head of MD. The ref backs off FC and checks on MD’s cut, then calls for he match to continue. FC grinds his bootlaces into MD’s forehead, and MD flops over like a fish for all to see the cut. For good measure FC stands on MD’s bandaged stomach, and MD sells like he ate some bad tacos backstage. FC pulls MD up by the hair and talks smack at Daddy, and DADDY ROLLS UP FC IN A SMALL PACKAGE!! One, two…but Firechild kicks out and pokes MD in the eyes to repulse any attack. The ref warns FC and checks on Daddy again, but Daddy shoves the ref away. Firechild closes in but Daddy get a hope shot punch that stops FC, then another, and a third, and a European Uppercut that staggers FC! Daddy is still on his knees but sweeps FC’s leg and climbs on top for some pummeling! Daddy pulls FC up, which to the ropes, FC ducks a clothesline and on the rebound a shoulder block knocks both men down! FC is up first and goes to the top rope. But since he’s a heel, FC does one of those “jump off the top rope with no discernable move in mind” things, and eats a MD boot! Daddy finally goes on the offense with a series of punches and kicks, whip into the ropes and a clothesline, another whip into the ropes and a power slam that leaves blood all over FC! MD stands up and screams to the crowd, but then staggers and falls to the canvas, the loss of blood significant. The ref checks again, but MD shoves him away and goes back on the attack. Daddy whips FC into the corner and charges in with a double axe handle. But FC moves at the last second and MD crashes into the corner and smashes his face into the steel turnbuckle bolt! MD is really busted open now. The ref is trying to look at the cut, but FC is all over MD, hammering the cut even further open. But MD comes back in a furry of blood and adrenaline. Whip to the ropes, FC reverses, goes for the backdrop, MD rolls over the back of FC and nails the WHOLESOME STREET CUTTER! FC out’s cold! MD crawls over for the pin, the ref drops down but instead of making the count, looks at the head of MD and calls for the bell. The ref jumps up and talks to the ring announcer:
The result of this match, due to excessive blood loss, the referee has determined this to be a NO CONTEST! 13:29.
Matt Daddy is slumped against the turnbuckle corner and looks shocked but accepts the decision gracefully. Daddy rolls out of the ring and shakes the hands of some fans along the railing WHEN FIRECHILD CLOBBERS HIM FROM NEHIND WITH THE CHAIR!!! Firechild gets a couple more good shots in before tossing the chair and leaving Daddy laying on the entry way.
NILES ANDERSON vs. DONOVAN VIPERShoving contest to start and DV throws the first punch. Unfortunately it’s blocked and NA rattles of three of his own before hitting an Irish whip/back elbow combo. NA in complete control and literally has DV on the ropes. NA looks to end his workday early, but DV shows signs of life and blocks the Steed D.T. by running NA back first into the corner. Three shoulder tackles to the gut are followed with a stiff upper cut and a huge scoop slam. DV gets a few more slams in before NA thumbs the eye and takes over. Classic brawling ensues, spiced up with two neck breakers and an ace crusher on DV’s part and a leg drop, reverse DDT, and Running power slam on NA’s part. Neither man gains a significant advantage until NA whiffs on a clothesline and gets a hang man’s neck breaker for his troubles. Cover only gets two and DV sets up the Side Winder~!!!. NA counters into a Side Russian Leg Sweep and then sets up another Steed D.T. attempt. DV blocks again, whiffs on the Death Elbow and eats a straight right to the jaw. DV is out on his feet, but that won’t win the match so NA drives him down to the mat with a Steed D.T.~!!! for the victory.
WINNER in 9:12 Niles Anderson
THIM REYNOLDS & JUSTIN SANE vs. CONCRETE TG & LADDERConcrete makes his entrance and once he's in the ring the ref pulls LADDER out from under the apron and stands it in the middle of the ring. Concrete stands in his corner still looking like he's not really sure what's going on. Next up Thim makes his way down to the ring and you can see him having a quick word with Concrete on his way in, he shrugs and gestures to Concrete what he things of his partners sanity and then points to himself and Concrete - gesturing that the two of them are going to sort this one out. Finally out comes Justin and man he looks pumped up for this one. On entering the ring he immediately moves to the center and stares down LADDER. Thim backs him into their corner and moves Justin onto the apron - Thim makes it clear that he's starting things off this week. Concrete picks LADDER up and rests it on the floor in their corner as the ref calls for the bell. Crete and Thim lock-up in the center of the ring and Thim switches around Crete to gain the upper hand with a hammerlock. Thim shoves Crete forwards into the corner and leans into him trash talking while the ref calls for the break. They lock up again and once more Thim gains the upper hand with another hammerlock. Once again Thim shoves Crete forwards into the corner but as then get there Crete spins around forcing Thim to crash into the turnbuckle. Crete then catches Thim staggering out of the corner with a schoolboy for a really early 2 count . . . Thim looks pissed about that one and charges at Crete as soon as he's back to his feet. Crete just manages to sidestep and Thim gets himself tangled up in the ropes. Crete is in the center of the ring laughing at Thim and decides to start the crowd off with a JUSTIN chant. Thim is looking steaming now and just doesn't want to let Justin anywhere near the ring but with the chant picking up and Justin screaming at him from the corner throws up a 'fuck-it' gesture and tags Justin in. Concrete is ready for him but instead of engaging Justin points towards the opposite corner calling for Crete to tag in LADDER. Crete is trying to get Justin to lock up but Justin keeps moving out of the way and calling for LADDER. Eventually Crete gives up chasing Justin, climbs out of the ring and throws LADDER in. Justin charges at LADDER which is still moving after Crete's throw, it bounces off the ropes and catches Justin on the temple - Justin goes down like he's been shot and LADDER falls off the ropes and over Justin for the cover. The ref hits two before Justin kicks out. Justin stands up shaking his head and carefully circles watching LADDER. LADDER is lying in the center of the ring doing exactly nothing. Suddenly Justin runs the ropes and drops a hard elbow onto LADDER . . . he springs back to his feet and drops another elbow, and another . . . part of LADDER is looking just slightly bent and part of Justin is looking very bruised. Justin picks LADDER up and military presses it over his head . . . as Justin is showing off one of his hands slips causing LADDER to crash down over his head. The shift in weight causes Justin to overbalance and crash down to the mat head first . . . DDT by LADDER!!!! Both men/tools and down in the middle of the ring and the ref begins a 10 count - not really believing what he's doing. Justin makes it to his feet at eight a hit's the tag to Thim who is screaming at his from the apron. Thim climbs into the ring, picks LADDER up and throws it straight at Concrete's head. Crete gets his arms up in time knocking LADDER back into the ring before entering the ring himself. Crete and Thim tear it up for the next 5 minutes, totally ignoring LADDER, now resting in the corner against the turnbuckle until Thim whips Concrete hard straight into LADDER. Now getting the hang of this the ref calls that a tag and seeing that Justin stretches over the ropes and tags himself in. Thim can't believe what Justin just did but the ref insists that Thim leaves the ring. Justin charges at LADDER still in the corner and hits a huge stiff clothesline, almost breaking his arm in the process. Justin crashes to the mat clutching his shoulder as LADDER teeters before falling over onto Justin. Justin is writhing on the mat on his front and as LADDER comes down getting rungs tangled around Justin’s legs. Justin twists to try and get away but succeeds only in rolling LADDER over and getting it jammed underneath the ropes . . . Figure 4 Leg lock by LADDER my god!!! Crete is stood on one apron laughing and pointing at Justin while on the other side of the ring Thim is shaking his head and head butting the turnbuckle in frustration. The ref is down on the mat asking Justin if he want to give it up but Justin isn't quitting . . . Justin twists around managing to unjam LADDER from underneath the ropes but it gets jammed in there again as Justin is trying to kick it off . . . Sharpshooter by LADDER!!!! Justin is trying to push out of the move but is only managing to increase the pressure as he's shoving in the wrong direction. Crete is now convulsing with laughter and Thim is holding his head in his hands. After battling against the submission hold for 30 seconds Justin can hold out no longer and taps. WINNER in 19:45 – Concrete TG & Ladder
Crete makes his way up the ramp still chuckling to himself while the ref untangles Justin from ladder and Thim helps Justin to his feet. Justin is distraught at the loss and hobbles over to the corner and buries his head. Thim's walks over to console him, eventually cheering him up enough and telling him to climb the corner to wave to the crowd. Thim climbs up behind him and they celebrate together. Suddenly the look on Thim’s face changes and he waist locks Justin then pulls him over for the second rope release German suplex, the Full Spinal Re-alignment. Justin is an unconscious heap in the middle of the ring now and Thim walks over and slaps his face while screaming 'I told you what would happen if you cost me a match you fucking moron!!!!'. Thim walks out of the arena while the ref checks on Justin and calls for the medics.
OOWF Invitational Semi-Finals[/u]
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINEStare down to start, resulting in a shoving match, which Johnny wins by going to the eyes. JA pounds MHJ to the ropes. Senior referee Sterling Glaw calls for the break, and Johnny gives him a clean one, feigning at Moose upon backing away. Moose grins in amusement and moves in. Collar and elbow tie-up, but MHJ throws a forearm to gain the advantage. Headlock takeover, but Johnny grabs Moose's hair and pulls him back for a two count. Again, and Moose objects to the ref, which allows Johnny to do it one more time. Kick out, and Moose releases the hold, but Johnny cradles him again for another two count. This time MHJ pops up and charges, but Johnny sidesteps him and tosses him thru the ropes to the floor. Johnny follows out, and kicks Moose by the rail, then rolls him back in. Johnny stomps away in the corner, but Moose grabs Johnny's leg and wraps it in the bottom rope and Johnny falls to the mat. JA kicks Moose right in the face with his other foot and pushes him under the ropes to the floor. The ref unties Johnny, and JA slingshots himself over the top with a plancha onto MHJ. Johnny sends Moose to the steps, then rolls in to break the count. Johnny unties a turnbuckle pad on the far side of the ring, and Glaw goes to re-attach it. That diversion allows Johnny to run around and choke out Moose with some microphone cord. But Moose struggles to fight Johnny off, and uses the excess cord to wrap around Johnny's neck, and MHJ slings Johnny into the guardrail. Moose sells the choke for a bit, then stalks Johnny. Moose drops Johnny on the guardrail, then clotheslines him down from behind. MHJ rolls in to break the count, then back out. Moose moves in as Johnny gets to his feet, and JA meets him with a right hand. And another. Slug out on the floor, and Johnny ducks a left, then gives MHJ a side suplex over the guardrail to the concrete! Moose is in pain, and Johnny rolls in to get a breather. Moose manages to get to his feet and begins to climb back over the rail, but Johnny comes down off the top with a double axe handle as Moose is stuck on the rail. Johnny tosses MHJ in and locks on a sharpshooter. But before Glaw can ring the fucking bell, Moose gets to the ropes. JA breaks, but moves back in. Scrum in the corner, and Moose gets a deliberate low blow behind the ref's back. Johnny crumples to the mat as Moose pulls himself up. MHJ stomps at Johnny's shoulder, then stands on his shoulder and pulls on the arm. He pulls JA to his feet, then arm drags him back down and tries a cross arm breaker, but Johnny hooks the ropes with his feet to break. Moose sends Johnny to the post shoulder first, then grabs the arm and leaps over the top to the floor, driving the shoulder down onto the top rope. Moose watches in joy as Johnny writhes in pain, then rolls back in. Short arm shoulder blocks, then a short arm clothesline. Moose continues to work the shoulder, and sends Johnny to the corner shoulder first. Moose charges in, but Johnny gets a boot up. Johnny charges and clotheslines MHJ down, but does so with the hurt shoulder. Moose up first and grabs JA for a pile driver, but Johnny backdrops out and lands on MHJ for a cover. One, two, but Moose BRIDGES up and around into a backslide, but JA manages to wiggle out. Moose charges for a clothesline, but Johnny ducks. Double clothesline on the way back and both guys are down. Moose moves first, and JA soon after. Glaw's count gets to six as Moose gets to his feet. JA is on his knees as Moose moves in, but Johnny shoves MHJ back into the ref somewhat, and then hits a low blow with mustard on it! Glaw turns around a second too late, as the crowd goes wild as Moose falls back to the mat. The crowd even begins a "Johnny" chant! And rather than tell the crowd to "shut the fuck up," Johnny gets to his feet and catapults Moose into the corner. German suplex and Johnny bridges, but only gets two. Johnny with an inverted atomic drop, then a cross body. One, two, but moose kicks out. Johnny with an Irish whip, but MHJ reverses. Moose puts his head down a bit too early though, and Johnny stops and pile drives MHJ! Johnny goes to the top rope... GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! Cover, one... two... and Moose is out again. Johnny pulls Moose up, but MHJ goes to the eyes. Another Irish whip reversal, this time toward the corner, but Moose recounters and looks for the HEART PUNCH~! But Johnny sidesteps and referee Glaw takes the shot instead. ADRENALINE RUSH~! But there's no ref. Johnny tries to stir Glaw, but he's out like a light. With no official, Johnny looks around and plays to the crowd, then goes to the floor and grabs a chair. Johnny wedges the chair in between the top and middle turnbuckle and sends Moose sailing into it! Johnny grabs the chair and PLASTERS Moose with it, sending MHJ to the floor. Johnny tries to revive Golden again, and he begins to stir. Moose emerges with a small cut on his face, and returns with one of Johnny's golf clubs. Moose charges with the club, but Johnny blocks with the chair, and the sound echoes thru the arena. Johnny tosses the chair down and yanks the club out of Moose's hand. But Johnny's momentum turns him around... just as referee Golden is to his knees. Golden sees Johnny with the club in his hand, the blood on Moose's face and CALLS FOR THE BELL! Crowd boos that finish, and rightly so.
WINNER by DQ in 16:45: Moosehead Jack
Post-match, Moose scurries up the aisle, taunting Johnny. Adrenaline grabs Golden by the shirt and yells at him, but lets him go, grabs his golf club and throws a tantrum in the middle of the ring, bending his six iron on the mat.
CHRIS COLE vs. CHRIS ALTCole comes to the ring with Ax on one crutch at his side. The crowd is all over them. Alt comes out to thunderous applause. After the bell rings both men come to the center and start jawing at each other. The recent history between these two is not lost on them and the crowd is really getting into it giving this a very special “Big Match” feel. Cole cheap shots CA to start things off. Cole press slams CA to the mat. CA comes back with a nice arm drag, and follows up with a backbreaker. Cole goes to the outside, CA gets ready to fly, but Ax is able to distract CA enough to have him think twice. Cole climbs back into the ring and dodges one of CA’s dropkicks. Cole comes with a running clothesline but CA ducks that and goes for the dropkick again, and hits it this time sending Cole to the outside. CA goes to the outside and chases Ax away to give him some room to work. He lands a few punches to Cole’s head and then lifts Cole up and crotches him on the guardrail. Alt quickly climbs to the top rope. Ax is over to check on Cole. CA flies off the top rope over Ax and hits a splash on Cole. Both men are down in the crowd while they give the appropriate “Holy Shit” chant. Ax is able to reach through the rails and help Cole to his feet. Cole manages to crawl back over the rail and then into the ring as Alt is just getting over the rail. The ref starts the count. Ax tries to keep CA from getting back in the ring but CA kicks the crutch and Ax falls awkwardly to the floor. CA rolls back into the ring. Cole & Alt are both up again and trading blows. The crowd is really getting behind Alt. CA locks in a side headlock on Cole for a much needed rest hold. Cole tries to fight out, but CA holds on. Cole is finally able to escape and puts an arm bar on Alt. CA is able to roll through and reapply the headlock. Cole isn’t in the hold long before hitting a back suplex and locking in the Indian Death lock. Cole really applies pressure even grabbing onto Ax while the ref’s back is turned. CA is finally able to break the hold after four straight forearms to Cole’s head. Cole kicks CA in the gut and goes to smash his head against a turnbuckle but Alt blocks it and it is Cole’s head that bounces off the turnbuckle. CA doesn’t stop there; he smashes Cole’s head into each turnbuckle. CA goes for the pin but Cole kicks out after two. CA fires off kicks on Cole back, and he follows that with a flip snap mare. CA applies a rear naked choke. Cole breaks it with a reverse head butt. CA then locks in the Indian Death Lock on Cole. Cole doesn’t like being put in one of his signature holds. Cole is able to escape by way of an eye poke. Both men are back up and trading blows again. Cole tries to back body drop Alt over the top rope but Alt manages to land on the apron. CA springboards back in landing a clothesline. CA goes to the top, but Cole catches him and is able to hit a big superplex. Cole clears the cobwebs and tries to take control of the match. Cole whips CA off and hits a running knee to Alt’s face. Cole sends him off the ropes again and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Cole then lands a Flair-esque knee drop. CA goes for a series of roll-ups, but Cole reverses these into the raised Cloverleaf. CA tries to power out but Cole cinches in further really driving his knee into the back of Alt’s neck. Alt switches strategies and goes for the ropes. Ax pulls the ropes back so Alt can’t get to it. Finally the ref sees this and backs Ax off which allows CA to get to the ropes. That just serves to piss Cole off and he lands a viscous knee to CA in the back of the head. Cole hits an elbow from the second rope and a pin, but that only gets a two count. CA avoids another backbreaker attempt and hits a DDT. Both men struggle to their feet. CA is first and fires off on Cole with elbows, clotheslines, and kicks. CA scores with a wrist lock suplex, but that also only gets a two count. CA hits a gut buster. CA goes to the apron and goes for a springboard, but Cole catches him in a Death Valley Driver. CA is able to kick out and avoid the pin. Cole drives CA into the turnbuckle with a spear like move. Cole then lifts CA up like he is going to hit a spine buster, but bounces CA off the turnbuckle before spinning and finishing off the move. Cole covers and is shocked when CA kicks out nanoseconds before the three. Cole lifts up CA and goes for a neck breaker, but CA reverses it into a neck breaker suplex. Cole counters CA’s attempt at an Asai DDT with a sit-down power bomb for a two count. Cole avoids a flying forearm, and hits another running knee. CA is knocked to the outside, bouncing off the ring steps. Cole follows up with a suicide dive. Cole tosses CA back into the ring steps before throwing him back into the ring. CA hits a surprise drop Sault when Cole tries to get back in. CA takes advantage of his chance to fly and hits a flip dive. Both men manage to get to the apron when CA tries to suplex Cole back in. Cole blocks it. Cole then hits a backdrop suplex sending both men back down to the floor. Both men manage to crawl in after the ref counts to nine. CA looks like he can barely walk. They trade chops in the center of the ring. Cole tries to roll CA up, and gets two. They both go for roll ups, but neither can get a pin. Cole suplexes CA, but CA fires back with a flying clothesline. CA goes for a cross body block, Cole rolls through and grabs the tights, but CA kicks out at two. They trade punches and the crowd is super hot. CA takes him down with a shining wizard, but only gets a two count. Cole hits a face crusher. He goes for the Headliner, but CA bridges him into a pin attempt. Cole powers out and they trade roll up attempts. CA fights out of a pin attempt and is able to hit the Spinal Contusion. Ax jumps to the apron which keeps the ref from counting the pin fall. The crowd goes crazy as Hardbody Harris runs down to ringside. He has had enough of Ax’s interference and has a chair. Back in the ring Cole has taken advantage with a low blow and is about to deliver the Headliner. Cole sees Harris coming at Ax with a chair and then sees Ax DROP THE CRUTCH AND RUN. Cole moves towards the ropes and is screaming at Ax who now has stopped running and has a “deer in headlights” look as he meets Cole’s glare. Alt manages to rollup Cole from behind grabbing a handful of tights to pick up the three count. WINNER at 33:21 Chris Alt
After the Match: Firechild appears at the top of the ramp cutting off Ax’s escape. Harris smiles and waves at Ax and then puts down the chair to go back and celebrate with Alt. FC slowly backs Ax towards the ring while Cole is torn between giving death stares to Alt/Harris & Ax. The faces leave the ring just as Ax is forced into the ring by FC. FC grabs mics and rolls into the ring handing one to Cole and throwing one at Ax’s feet.
Cole: Pick it up
Ax looks around nervously
Cole: I SAID PICK UP THE DAMN MICROPHONE!
Ax: (after quickly picking up the microphone) I can explain..
FC: You better
Ax: Well you see while you were overseas and I was stuck in the States I was able to get healed up. But you know I was still getting paid by the OOWF. I sort of liked getting paid and not having to travel or get hit. I liked going out and playing golf.
Cole: And so you ignored the fact that Firechild and myself haven’t been able to keep winning as much as we are accustomed to? You didn’t just make me look bad. You didn’t just make Firechild look bad. You made Three Piece Set look bad.
Ax: I figured if anybody would appreciate being able to pull one over on The Rick it would be you guys.
Cole: I’m all for screwing over our liquored up GM but NOT at the expense of Three Piece Set.
Ax: What are you going to do?
Cole: Get out of my face. You don’t deserve to be a part of the 3 Piece Set.
Ax: He doesn’t mean tha….
FC: You heard him. Get lost before I get sick.
Ax drops his head in shame and starts to exit the ring.
Cole: Wait a second Ax. (Ax looks back at Cole.) You and I have been through a lot. We were Three Time Tag Team Champions. We won Tag Team of the Year. We built one of the most dominating factions in OOWF History. (Ax is starting to like where this is heading) Are you ready to back us up again? (FC can’t believe that Cole is backing off) Can you back up Firechild & myself? (Ax is shaking his head Yes. We hear him ask to be forgiven even though he doesn’t say it into the mic. Cole pauses) I dub thee UNFORGIVEN! (Ax gets the “deer in headlights” look again)
Cole and Firechild start pounding on Ax. FC hits Wings of the Phoenix and then Cole hits a Headliner. Both men grand chairs and start really lacing into Ax. Cole sets up a chair and FC hits another Wings of the Phoenix onto the chair. Then Cole lifts him up for a Headliner on the chair. Ax is a bloody mess. Cole takes the “injured” leg and sticks it into the chair opening and then FC & Cole kick the chair repeatedly. Both jump off the top rope and stomp on the chair crushing the knee. FC goes outside and sets up a table while Cole continues with punches to Ax’s head. Cole lifts up Ax with the chair still stuck on his leg and power bombs him over the top rope and through the table. Cole then spits on Ax’s lifeless body as he and Firechild walk out of the arena.Non-Tournament Matches[/u]
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER & DRINK & DESTROY vs. JW WESTGAARD & THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDERIt’s 6 man tag action as The Team from Down Under and currently partner-less JW Westgaard take on Drink and Destroy and Attitude Adjuster Al Capps! Angelo Barros is your referee, he calls for the bell, and we get Gatorbait and Capps to start! They circle for a moment, and Al challenges Gator to a test of strength. Lock-up in the middle of the ring, Gator shoves Al to the mat. AA scrambles to his feet, Stank laughs and does a “Luger Flex” – AA doesn’t take kindly to that, and locks up with Gator again – and again Gator throws AA flat on his back to the mat! This time, Stank gives AA a “Hogan point and flex”. Al walks to the center of the ring, teases a lock up for a third time, thumbs Gator in the eye and slaps the Aussie across the face – THEN tags in Stank! Stank glares at AA, climbs in the ring and locks up with Gator – Stank’s size advantage comes into play, and he shoves Gatorbait down! He gives AA a “See? That’s how you do it you wuss” look – and AA is visibly pissed. FFC gives him a playful punch on the shoulder and says “Al, he’s kidding – We love ya man!” Stank locks up with Gator again, but this time Gator gets Stank turned around and manages to work him into his corner, where before the ref can call for the break, Gator delivers a European uppercut – Outback Jack blind tags in, and when Stank drives Gator out of the corner, Outback hits him from behind with a BOMMERANG! OBJ starts working Stank over on the ground, transitioning from punches to the head to a headlock / chicken wing combo (now available at your favorite Aussie Steakhouse) – Stank gets to his feet, shoots OBJ to the ropes and tries for a clothesline – OBJ ducks, off the far ropes and hits Stank with a clothesline of his own – Stank staggers, but doesn’t fall! OBJ gives him a shove, runs the ropes, and Stank goes off the opposite side – OBJ ducks Stank’s initial charge, but Stank turns around and flattens OBJ with a shoulder block on the second attempt! Stank then drops a leg on Outback, rolls off and tags in FF Capslock – FFC starts with a pair of stomps, then a leg drop of his own – he picks OBJ off the mat and follows up with a vertical suplex. FFC is in control, and whips Outback to the corner, charges in for a corner splash, but Jack gets out of the way, and starts firing stinging jabs into FFC’s face. FFC grabs Jack, spins him into the corner, swing a big right hand, but Jack ducks it, and fires MORE jabs - FFC shoves him off, then charges – OBJ catches him with a drop toe hold, rolls off and tags in JW Westgaard, who hops from the top rope with a leg drop! JWW rolls him over, cover – kick out at 1!JW pulls FFC to his feet and then plants the Big Man of Fresno back down with a DDT. Following up with a elbow drop to the back of the neck, Westgaard clamps on an STF, pulling back on Capslock’s injured neck – JW is really wrenching back, but FFC jumps in wit ha kick to the face to break the hold up. Westgaard responds with a big right hand, and AA rolls out of the ring, but this gives FFC a chance to get to his feet and hit the Birdman from behind – tag to Stank, and Drink and Destroy start double-teaming Westgaard, switching off right at Referee Barros reaches 5 – They got JW trapped in their corner, and Drink and Destroy look like the tag champs of old – power move after power move, finishing up with a double team choke slam! Stank looks at his partner, and yells “You with me now?” FFC smiles and says “Do it!” Drink and Destroy hit JW Westgaard with the DUI! But as before Stank can cover, Attitude Adjuster blind tags himself in! Stank is SERIOUSLY pissed off, and shoves AA into the ropes screaming “What are you doing?” AA gets back in Stank's face, while FFC tries to make peace between his two teammates and reminds them the match is still going on – he gets them separated, AA with a cover, but this took way too much time and JW Westgaard kick out at two! Attitude Adjuster looks at the ref is disbelief, then yells – “THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” at Stank – He picks JW up, sets up the DDT, but Westgaard reverses into a fisherman’s suplex – AA gets free, JW Westgaard retreats to the ropes, AA signals for The Claw – plays to the audience for a second and JW Westgaard explodes out of the corner, hitting AA with an incredible CROSSCHECK! He staggers over and tags in Gatorbait! AA scrambles to his corner and tags in Stank! Gator meets the charging Stank at mid-ring with a hard elbow to the side of the head, then a second. Stank hits a right hand, Gator doubles over Stank with a kick to the gut and then a face plant – Stank is down and stunned! Gator shows his surprising agility, scrambles to the top rope and crashes on top of Stank with a Swanton bomb! He rolls to his feet and pops FFC in the face, then goes to cover Stank – FFC climbs into the ring for pay back, drawing in OBJ and JW Westgaard – They shove FFC into the corner and hit a double shoulder block – Stank kicks out of the corner and JW signals Outback to help Gator finish the match saying “I got this one!” Meanwhile, AA has dropped off the ring apron – Gator and OBJ set up for The Call of the Wild, and FFC moves to break it up – but gets spun around by JW Westgaard, who get FFC up on his shoulders and hits a power slam! The crowd goes NUTS! And there is TTFDU with The Call of the Wild – but Stank counter charges Gator, dodging the spear! Al Capps suddenly pops back on the apron swinging a steel chair for all he’s worth but it isn’t GATORBAIT rebounding off the rope and Stank takes the chair in the middle of the back! TTFDU crisscross in mid-move, and THERE is the Call of the Wild! AA tosses the chair to FFC yelling “Get them!” but JW Westgaard hooks a leg and keeps FFC from reaching his partner, and Gator spear Attitude Adjuster right out of the ring - OBJ with a cover, 1, 2, 3! WINNERS in 18:23 – The Team from Down Under and JW Westgaard!
Post match, Stank sits up and spots FFC, chair in hand – and starts yelling at his partner “What were you thinking?” and getting hotter by the second - FFC tires to explain what went on, and yells over to Attitude Adjuster to back up his story – but Al Capps is already headed to the back – FFC goes over and yells “Hey Al! Come back!” when Stank spins him around and gets right up in FFC’s grill! Before they can come to blows, the referees and OOWF security separate the two big men - - - FFC is still trying to talk to Stank as he rolls out of the ring, but Stank is having none of it and heads to the back on his own – leaving FFC in the ring.
ERIC O’MAC vs. NAYR vs. SOULDRAGON – Onslaught Championship MatchEOM shoves his title in both men’s face and as soon as the ref takes it from him, the two challengers kick the crap out of EOM. EOM begs off only to get his head sandwiched between two kicks. NHL quickly tries to roll SD up, but SD powers out and turns NHL inside out with a clothesline. He pitches NHL out of the ring and gets pearl harbored by EOM. EOM stomps SD and baseball slides him out of the ring. EOM admires his handy work and turns directly into an NHL enziguri. NHL hits a quick led drop and then a spring-board turn around somersault senton splash across the back. He turns EOM over, but gets yanked out of the ring by SD. They exchange strikes while EOM walks off the abuse to his back. SD destroys NHL with an STO on the floor. SD squares of with EOM and takes advantage with a one legged lung blower. SD owns EOM for a few minutes and sets up for a Shining wizard. Suddenly NHL is back in and catches SD with a brutal reverse rana. EOM immediately super kicks NHL out of his boots and covers, but SD kicks out at the last moment. EOM kicks SD in the ribs a few times and NHL takes him down with a bull dog. He then scoop slams SD on top of EOM and hits a spring board 450 on both of them. Cover on EOM gets 2. He attempts to cover SD and gets his ankle picked. School of Dragons~!!! Locked in but EOM breaks that up with a leg lariat. Three way brawling for a moment and EOM hits an impressive head scissors/head lock take down combo. Unfortunately, only the head lock part works as SD cartwheels out of the head scissors and blasts EOM in the face with a drop kick. A lot of rapid fire pin fall attempts end with NHL on the outside and EOM fighting off the School of Dragons~!!! With bonus grape vine action. NHL breaks that up and EOM favors his knee and ankle. NHL whiffs on a 630 leg drop and SD murders him with a Shining Wizard. He proceeds to disrespect the dead with an Omen Driver~!!! EOM hobbles over and pushes SD out of the ring. He falls backwards and steals the pin to retain the title.
WINNER in 14:49 – Eric O’Mac
THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE vs. THE BLACK DAWGS – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchBD and UD attack TDB as soon as they come through the entrance chute. HC tosses BD into the guardrail on the ramp. UD slams TO onto the ramp. TO crawls down towards the ring. UD stops him before he gets to the ring and slams him onto the announce table. TO is able to rakes the eyes of UD to get the momentum. He continues to work him over with lefts and rights. Meanwhile HC & BD are brawling down to ringside. HC is able to land a knee and then a spine buster on the steel ramp. HC goes over and helps TO work over UD. UD lands a big boot on TO and then catches HC by the throat and choke slams him through the announce table. BD is back up and chops the crap out of TO until Tommy’s chest is red. UD comes over and lifts up TO and BD is able to hit a spin kick. BD sets up a table for UD to choke slam TO through. HC saves TO from going through the table by hitting him with a chair. HC adds a chair shot to BD as well. HC lays BD on the table and TO goes up to the top rope, but UD stops TO on the top rope. UD throws TO off the turnbuckle and into HC. Both men crash to the ground. UD tries to choke slam TO through the table, but HC kicks the table away. BD hits a spinning heel kick to HC. BD then slaps the crap out of HC’s chest. TO tries to low blow UD, but UD squeezed his legs together trapping TO’s arm before impact. UD then hits a Power bomb on TO through the table. HC takes advantage on BD with a staggering uppercut and then is able to hit a Dominator onto the ramp. HC & UD go toe to toe with each other neither gaining the advantage. HC is finally able to grab a chair and levels UD with it. BD is back up and trades blow with HC. HC gets the advantage and looks to land another Dominator onto the steel chair. UD is back up and has another table and nails HC in the ribs with the table while he is trying to hit the Dominator. The Black Dawgs set up the table and double chokeslam HC through the table. The ref has seen enough and rules this match over before it ever started. WINNER - NO CONTEST BEFORE MATCH OFFICIALLY STARTED
CAPELLAN vs. LD WILLIAMS – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
For the OOWF Intercontinental Championship
Sterling Glaw is YOUR referee!
Lockup to start, LD with the power advantage early, pushing Cap to the corner. Clean break called by Glaw, and LD backs off a bit before slapping Capellan. Glaw gives a warning but is ignored and Capellan leaps at LD and starts pounding away at him. The two brawl a bit before Cap brushes LD's arms away long enough to land a posting Enzugiri across LD's face. LD staggers into a clothesline and is covered for two. Cap maintains his advantage as he whips LD across the ring. Leapfrog, split dodge, then on the third pass catches LD with a running bulldog. Cover again for two. LD is still staggered as Cap stands him up and slings him to the corner. Cap follows LD in and hits the flip kick in the corner, knocking Cap over the ropes and to the floor. LD celebrates for a moment before running to the ropes and amazes the crowd with a SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS SUICIDA that knocks them both to the floor! The crowd cheers and chants "Holy shit" as Glaw starts his ten count. Cap up first, rolling LD back into the ring. LD finishes catching his breath as Cap tries a springboard cross body back into the ring. LD catches Cap midair and power slams him for a two count. Cap is dazed as LD picks him up off the mat and puts him right back down with a DDT. Cover again gets two. LD hauls Cap to his feet and slings him to the corner, hard. Cap slams back first into the corner and falls on his face. LD is right there stomping away, breaking at 4 on Glaw's 5 count. He pauses, then stands on Cap's neck, getting a 4 count and a dressing-down from Glaw. Cap catches his breath while LD argues. Cap pushes to his feet and taps LD on the shoulder, who brushes him away. Cap taps on his shoulder again, LD waves him off. Glaw finishes arguing with LD as a third tap on the shoulder finally convinces LD to turn around and almost get kicked in the gut. LD catches it and pushes it aside, allowing Cap to land his SPINNING DRAGON KICK and send LD sprawling. Glaw gets out of the way of the tumbling LD as Cap pounces on LD for the cover and the win! WINNER in 36:12 and STILL Intercontinental Champion, CAPELLAN
After the match, Capellan gets to his feet and holds the Intercontinental title high in the air. LD Williams holds his head in his hands and slams his fist on the mat in frustration. After a few more seconds Williams seems to calm down and gets to his feet. As Capellan jumps off the second rope back to the ring, he lands in front of LD Williams. Cap and Williams lock eyes and after a few tense seconds, LD Williams offers his hand. Capellan never breaks his stare, but takes LDW’s hand and shakes it. LDW raises Capellan’s hand in victory, then falls to the mat, rolls out of the ring and leaves the champ in the ring alone to celebrate.
Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline are walking down the hallway, arguing. They stop in front of The Rick’s office.
AA: I suck!? I didn’t see you get your hand raised tonight either!
JA: At least I lost straight up. You cost your “new friends” a match with that chair shot. And then you didn’t make your “new best buddy” real happy by tossing him the chair.
AA: What’s with all this “fingers waving in the air” stuff?
JA: They’re quote marks!
AA: But we’re writing! You don’t need to do that here. The readers can see the quote marks!
AA and JA turn toward each other and begin a stare down.
AA: You’re just jealous because I have a new friend. And I have the Bag O’ Promos!
JA: Bag O’ Promos? I don’t need no stinking Bag O’ Promos!
AA: Yeah, you sure proved that this week, Nostradamas!
JA: You idiot! He’s the psychic.
AA: Whatever, I’m still the No. 1 PROMO GUY IN THE OOWF. Tell you what, I’m gonna prove it to you at the next Pay Per View. You. Me. Bag O’ Promos on a Pole Match!
JA: Are you nuts? Do you remember how many times I beat you in our Intercontinental feud? You’re on like peanut butter!
AA: Peanut butter? That sucked. (AA holds out the Bag O’ Promos.) Here, you need some help?
JA swats at the bag but AA raises it out of the way. As JA tries to grab the Bag O’ Promos, Stank and FFC walk in from the opposite direction and into The Rick’s office. AA and JA finally stop their shenanigans.
JA: Fine. Let’s take your little Promos on a Pole match to The Rick.
AA and JA barge into The Rick’s office, only to find Stank and FFC already arguing.
Stank: He hit me with a chair! I’m so tired of this sh*t. FFC, it’s gonna be you and me at the next Pay Per View!
FFC: You fool! Have you ever heard of a VCR? Watch the tape of the match!
JA: Will you idiots get out of our way? We have issues to deal with.
FFC/Stank/The Rick: Shut the…
JA: DON’T EVEN SAY THAT!
The room goes silent.
AA: Besides, Johnny and I, despite our differences, know money when we see it. The Rick, we demand you book the first-ever “Bag O’ Promos on a Pole” match at the next Pay Per View!
TR: Bag O’ What? That’s ridiculous! Plus, I am not breaking up two of my tag teams just for a few meaningless, short-term, blow-off matches. Does this look like the WWE? No! So this is what we’re gonna do? At the Pay Per View, it’s gonna be Stank (Stank glares in anticipation)…and Johnny Adrenaline (Johnny does a Ric Flair flip-out)…facing…FF Capslock and Attitude Adjuster (FFC and AA exchange a high five). Feel that, playa!?
AA: Did he just channel Teddy Long?
JA: Yes, he did, you dumbass. Now take your Bag O Promos and promo that!
FFC (to Stank): You better watch your ass, buddy!
Stank: How did I become the straight man in this feud?HARDBODY HARRIS vs. SHASHWAT MISHRA – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchShashwat Mishra comes to the ring first with a strange little grin on his face. He stands in the corner rubbing his hands waiting for Hardbody Harris to make his entrance. The arena goes dark and silent, and we hear the opening strains of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” When we get to the chorus, the lights come on blinding the arena, pyro explodes and Hardbody Harris stands on the stage, arms raised in victory. Before he can turn and make his way to the ring, someone attacks! The mystery man swings a chair and catches Harris right in the back of the head. The pyro and lights stop and we see Shashwat Mishra standing there with an evil grin on his face and a chair in his hands. Mishra pulls Harris to his feet and blasts him with the chair a second time. Mishra wraps a chain around Harris neck and drags him down the ramp. Harris claws at his neck trying to get the chain off so he can get his breath back. They arrive at ring side and Mishra pulls Harris to his feet, grabs him by the hair, and runs him face first into the ring post. Mishra then mounts Harris, wraps the chain around his fist and hammers away at Harris head until he is pouring blood. Mishra rolls Harris into the ring and follows him in, referee Sterling Glaw calls for the bell, I guess this will be an official match after all, not for long though. Mishra waits for Harris to pull himself to his feet, then nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. Mishra stands in the corner and digs something out of his tights. As Mishra fumbles with something in the corner, Harris once again gets to his feet as he does, Mishra springs out of the corner and throws a fireball at Harris’ face! Harris ducks at the last second and the fireball hits Glaw square in the face! The referee hits the mat and rolls out of the ring yelling in agony. Harris turns his attention to Glaw, and when he looks back at Mishra, Shashwat blasts him in the face with a chain wrapped fist. Harris is out on the mat, Mishra reaches into his tights a second time and produces a sharpened piece of metal. He straddles Harris and repeatedly jabs it into Harris forehead until Hardbody Harris is a horrific bloody mess. On the outside, medics have flooded ringside and are tending to Glaw. Inside the ring, Mishra pulls Harris to his feet and DESTROYS him with a pile driver, then locks on a modified camel clutch, twisting Harris neck at a sick angle.. For added brutality Mishra repeatedly cross faces Harris drawing even more blood. Finally officials see the carnage in the ring, Harris has gone limp, passed out either from pain or loss of blood. Officials pull Mishra off of Harris and try to get him to the back. Mishra walks off laughing.
WINNER – No Contest in 1:25
The camera pans from medics working on Glaw outside the ring to Hardbody Harris, lying face down in a pool of blood to Shashwat Mishra backing slowly up the ramp, a triumphant smile spread across his face.
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