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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:30:23 GMT -5
Part 1: The Setup <Alt and Harris are walking together back stage celebrating their “victory” over 3Piece Set with high fives and back slaps> HH: Man! That felt awesome! I am so glad we cleared the air between us Chris, we should never let titles come between us again! CA: You’re right Hardbody. What was I thinking, you would never stoop so low as to join Cole and Firechild. I HATE THOSE TWO!! HH: Calm down Chris, we got ‘em tonight! And if Cole things his is taking THIS >hefting the trik’d owt title onto his shoulder> He has another thing coming! <Alt pauses and turns to Harris> CA: Hardbody, I am glad you brought that up. I want a shot next week. HH: Aw come on Chris, I thought we were past this? CA: Look Harris, I GAVE UP the Intercontinental title to help you, you OWE me this one! HH: I owe you? Is that what this is about? CA: Look, I walked away from gold, all I am asking for is a shot. BFF’s right? <Harris pauses for a moment> HH: You’re right Chris, you did something pretty awesome for me, I hated asking you to do that, but I knew I could count on you. You’re right, you deserve a shot. We will set it up next week, Chris Alt vs. Hardbody Harris! One on One…and we will have him ban those idiots Cole and Firechild from ringside! CA: YEAH! <Jumping high five!> <Meanwhile in GM the Rick’s office, we see Rick hunched over the desk writing out next week’s card, when suddenly his door flies open and Niles Anderson struts into the room> NA: Well Ricky, I am here to collect what is mine. GMtR: And what might that be? NA: The Intercontinental title that that idiot Chris Alt vacated. GMtR: And what the hell makes you think I am just going to hand you the Intercontinental title? NA: Because I am the number one contender, so I deserve the title, so hand it over to a real man who will defend the title with honor and dignity and… <Capellan walks into the room> Cap: honor and dignity? HA. What a joke. NA: Look, go hang out with the rest of those wCw losers you run with. I beat you, in the middle of the ring, I am the number one contender, I deserve the title, case closed, period. Cap: Hold up a second there Niles, that was a role reversal match, so if you were me, and I was you, then you beating me would really be me beating you, right? NA: Huh? Cap: So really, that would make ME the number one contender and I should get the title. NA: WHAT? You are insane! GMtR: ENOUGH! Neither of you get the title tonight. In fact, the title will remain vacant. There is gonna be a little tournament for the belt. And we are going to make things interesting. Next week, you two will be a team… NA: I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO! Cap: That CAN’T work! GMtR: Oh it is going to work, and not only is it going to work, but here is an added bonus. If you two win, you will be the 1 and 2 seed. I will flip a coin to decide. If you two lose, same thing, except it will be the 7 and 8 seed. NA: THAT IS NOT FAIR!! THIS IS BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!! YOU ARE SCREWING ME AGAIN!!!! Cap: Rick, who are we facing next week, can you at least tell us that? GMtR: Drink and Destroy NA: FUCK!!!!!!!!! Cap: wow. <fade out> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:30:47 GMT -5
Part 2 - The Lineup
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!
Live From Butternut, Wisconsin
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Hardbody Harris vs. Chris Alt
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Chickenshit Heels vs. wCw
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match - 30 minute time limit[/u]
Uncle Entity vs. Fly vs. Austraroo
Anything Goes Match[/u]
Moosehead Jack vs. Shashwat Mishra
Niles Anderson & Capellan vs. Drink & Destroy
Justin Sane vs. Concrete TG
Nayr & Matt Daddy vs. SoulDragon &Mercury
Corax vs. Mr. Jealous
Chris Cole vs. LD Williams
UnderDawg vs. Phil
The Team From Down Under & Seraph vs. The Devil's Brigade & Thim Reynolds
Ax-Man vs. Josh O'Neal
Just Added
Sriram vs. Firechild
card subject to 8-1 seed upset
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:31:17 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels, Johnny wearing belt, AA with belt over shoulder, are walking down the hall, passing some guy with a Red Wings jersey and press pass.]
JA: Sup man, I haven't seen you round here.
SGWRWJ&PP: Huh?
AA: Look, I know your stupid little hockey team couldn't get out of the first round - ya know, like the Sharks did - and you don't have anything to write about in your silly little paper, but that don't mean you have to come back round here and leech off our heat.
SGWRWJ&PP: I have no idea...
JA: Oh, cut the crap, we know who you are. Jobber to the stars extraordinaire. It's okay, we won't tell the boss to book you in a street fight with UnderDawg.
AA: Loser...
[TCH keep walking...]
JA: Oh, speaking of UnderDawg, remember that fat, balding guy that was bugging us a few weeks back?
AA: Yeah, what about it?
JA: Well, apparently he's been watching the show and has seen Dawg going off the deep end lately. He called me last night.
AA: You mean we're gonna tie up the loose end of a seemingly forgotten, go nowhere angle?
JA: Damn it, man, can we keep kayfabe for just ONE promo?
AA: Hell no, man. Look at this...
JA: Look at what?
AA: Well, look at you.
JA: [looks down at himself] Um... okay?
AA: Now look at me.
JA: What?
AA: Your belt.
JA: What about it?
AA: Come here...
[JA and AA go around the corner, and AA shoos the cameraman away when he tries to follow, so all we have is a shot if a wall and TCH's voices.]
JA: Shit man! You mean...?
AA: No, we gotta do something about this!
JA: Well, one of these randomly placed storage chests must have some tools in them somewhere....
[fade out]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:31:39 GMT -5
(Jesse Garon and Uncle Entity are in the back)
Jesse Garon: What ya gonna do about this match coming up boss?
Uncle Entity: Against Fly? Hell, you know what real a real sadistic sumbitch like me does to flies don't you? He catches them.
JG: With chopsticks?
UE: No, with an old t-shirt. A real evil man swats the fly just to wound it. Then when it's laying there on the ground with internal injuries, suffering. I pick it up and rip it's wings off. And leave it to walk the earth not even worthy of it's simplistic name! Hahahahahahahaha! (Neidhart laugh).
JG: What about Austraroo?
UE: What's an Austraroo?
(Cut to commercial.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:34:45 GMT -5
(Justin Sane is psyching himself up for a promo. He paces a moment and slaps his face a couple of times, shakes himself out, then looks to the camera)
JS: CONCRETE! I know you think I'm nuts to get in the ring with you after the last time we faced off! I'm no fool! You better come to the ring alone and you better PRAY that I go easy on you!
(CTG walks through the shot behind JS. JS doesn't see him)
JS: You beat me last time cause of that damn LADDER! He's a m-a-c-h-i-n-e!!! He can kick my ass from one side of any arena to the other!! Just cause he's YOUR friend doesn't make you any better in the ring!
(CTG leans something against the wall just out of the shot, camera right.... he walks back through and gives an "OK" to the Ninja Cameraman)
JS: So you better bring your "A" "B" "C" and "D" game with you, Concrete!! (starts to back up) I'm not afraid of you! But I'm ready for you~!
(JS Backs into something an freezes. He turns, and the camera pans right to reveal.....)
JS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LADDER~~~!!!!! [/i] (flees the scene)
LADDER: (teeters and starts to fall)
CTG: (walks into the scene and catches LADDER) whoa, big guy..... that was funny, but don't knock yourself out laughing. Here. (leans LADDER back up against the wall)
LADDER: (lands against the wall and wobbles a bit)
CTG: (grins, shrugs, and leaves the scene as well)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:35:15 GMT -5
Ax-man is standing backstage with Randy Orton and Fozzy Bear the Midget
Ax: You know something Randell I feel a little bit like Rodney Dangerfield.
RO: How so, Dead and an ex-guest Simpsons Voice?
Ax: No, sadly, You see I get no respect here in the OOWF. Since my fantastic return to action I've been undeafeated, offered my hand in friendship to Hardbody Harris and Crippled the OOWF Ledged and future Hall of Famer Microplay. And How many title shots have I receievced. Well heres a clue Randy it's the same number of your charsima and Chris Coles Sperm count combined, thats right a big fat freaking zero. Now not only do I have my current set of acheveiments to back me up I'm a former 3 time tag team Champion, in a team I might add where I was the work horse.
RO: Right on homie!
Ax gives RO a funny look
RO: Hey it works for Cena!
Ax: No it doesn't he's getting X-pac heat. Any way where is my World title shot, an Intercontiental shot, not even an measly Onslaght title match. I've been bring in solid victory after solid victory, were as Cole and Alt have been looking up inspecting the rafters night after night, backing it up with loss after loss. But now I've got a taste for blood, I've crippled Microplay and ended his career, that's given my idea, eliminate the compition, when there is only me and the champs left, I'll have to get a shot. So Josh O'Neal I'm giving a chance, you can "Neal" down before me, beg for mercy and walk on out of the OOWF or leave screaming in pain like Microplay did at Season of the Abyss.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:35:42 GMT -5
second page has appeared on The Rick’s door underneath the lineup:
Notice:
May 4, 2006 is the opening of Chickenshit Heel Season. A reward of $25,000 will be given to each member of the team that defeats Johnny Adrenaline and Alan “Attitude Adjuster” Capps for the OOWF Tag Team Championship.*
*The reward is dependant on signing a contract to make the first defense of the OOWF titles against Kinzen Zansatsu.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:36:38 GMT -5
Jw Westgaard is walking to the wCw locker room, muttering to himself.....bastards....all they're gonna do is taint those titles. how would i love to break AA's jaw......
when he sees this passing The Rick's office.
JW gets a large grin on his face and says "Tommy is gonna love this...."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:37:07 GMT -5
Underdawg is being interviewed by SFJ 5.0
SFJ 5.0 - Since Blackdragon has mysteriously disappeared, we have seen you on a vicious new mean streak. What are you trying to accomplish?
UD: Number 1. Black and I, we weren't working out as a team. I'm a team player, and would've stuck through with this team. I wanted tag team gold, and I thought Black and I would've made a solid tag team. Perhaps I made a mistake. I've made bad judgement calls in the past. Number 2. I've had a vicious mean streak for a long time, and it's not new. I had it before I was with Black, and I had it while Black was here. You saw my thirst for violence. You saw my love of unleashing pain. There's nothing new about how mean I can be. That's something everyone in the OOWF knows about. If anything, I'm just turning it up a notch.
SFJ 5.0 - Last week, you disrupted an entire match and attacked all 4 wrestlers, with no just cause. That's new. And it looks like you've got a match next week against one of those 4.
UD - If there's anything that is new, it's the kind of pain I will give to Phil this week. He knows what I can do, and he knows what it's like to step into my yard. What he doesn't know, is how much worse it will be compared to the last time.
SFJ 5.0 - So... what was with the raining kibble?
UD - I was hungry.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:37:52 GMT -5
(Justin Sane is catching his breath when he comes across the notice on Rick's door)
JS: oh? It's not Concrete season? (turns to the Invisible Ninja Cameraman) I SHOULD declare Concrete season around here!
CTG: (heard offscrean) Nah, it's too cold, it should be Justin season!
JS: Concrete Season!
CTG: Justin Season!
JS: Concrete Season!
CTG: Justin Season!
JS: Concrete Season!
CTG: Justin Season!
JS: Concrete Season!
CTG: Justin Season!
JS: Concrete Season!
CTG: Justin Season!
JS: Concrete Season!
CTG: Justin Season!
JS: Concrete Season!
CTG: Concrete Season!
JS: Justin Season!
CTG: Exactly (backs up)
JS: Huh?
(LADDER falls on Justin sane)
JS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!!!
(CTG walks off whistling to himself)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:38:31 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster has his back to the camera, but we see the OOWF tag team belt on the table and AA with a hammer and awl in his hands. Johnny Adrenaline walks in the door.
JA: Hey, AA, whatcha doing?
AA (startled): Ahhhh!!!!!! Doesn’t anyone knock anymore?
JA: Well, this is my locker room, too. The DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal title is really getting to you, huh?
AA: The wha? Oh, yeah. Ummm, that’s why I’m nervous. Yeah, that’s it.
JA: Any luck with the title belt?
AA: It’s become obvious to me that the little flyboy Wilder must have shortened the length of this title belt when they were champs. All my life, title belts fit around my waist with the buttonhole securely fitting in the fifth hole. (AA picks the belt up and puts it around his waist. The ends barely reach each other.) Look at this! What am I supposed to do with this? I bet it wouldn’t even fit Nayr! Wilder’s going to pay for shortening the length of this belt!
JA: You know, mine seems to fit just fine.
AA: Well, of course. You got that fat slob Westgaard’s belt. I bet if I put that one on it would fit.
(AA grabs Johnny’s belt and places it around his waist. Not surprisingly, it doesn’t fit either.)
AA: Will you look at that! Westgaard shortened his belt, too!
JA: But it fits…
AA: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHNNY!
Ron Simmons: Damn…
JA: When was the last time you were on a scale, AA? I mean, that European trip wasn’t the healthiest thing in the world.
AA: I’m still 242 pounds of lean, mean fighting machine! Don’t need a scale to tell me that!
RF: YOU ARE A FAT TUB OF GUUUUUU!!!!! WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
AA: Fine. Just to prove you all wrong, let’s find a scale. Now where would we find a scale?
JA: In a gym?
AA: Hey, I knew that. OK, posse, to the gym!
JA hails a taxi and, complete with comedy background music, JA (with his title belt) AA (with his two title belts), Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Abdullah the Butcher, The Boogeyman and Fred the Monkey all pile into the cab.
AA: To the gym!
RF: FAT BOY!!!!!!!!
JA (under his breath to no one in particular): Good thing I didn’t tell AA about the bounty.
AA: Did you say something, Johnny?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:38:57 GMT -5
"This is bullshit!" Niles Anderson storms as he and Capellan leave Rick's office, "A tag bout against Drink and Destroy with you as my partner? I may as well be in a handicap match!"
"Look, I don't like this any more than you do." Capellan replies, "Less, since I also have to worry about you turning on me and making it 3-on-1. At least you know I won't do that."
"Do I?" Niles counters, "For a goody two shoes punk, you've taken to dirty tricks pretty damn well."
Capellan waves off the comment.
"Much as I'd like to see you beat down, I'd like to be the #1 seed for the IC belt even more. So try and put aside your jealousy for a week -"
"Jealous? Why would I be jealous of you?" Niles sneers.
"Dude, you have to bribe Johnny Adrenaline and Alan Capps to hang out with you. Most plankton has more pride than that." Cap pauses for a moment, "How do you afford all those gifts, anyway?"
"... merchandise."
"Merch? You?"
"Trust me, punk, everybody wants what the Specimen is selling." Niles slaps his own chest, "I move a hell of a lot of ... merchandise."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:39:22 GMT -5
The Chickenshit Heel Posse is at the local gym. They stop at the front desk where an attractive woman stands there for no apparent reason other than to say “Hi” to the customers.
AW: Hi!
AA: Gawd, groupies are everywhere. She probably wants my autograph.
AA begins signing his name on the first available piece of paper while Johnny hits on the woman.
JA: So are you doing anything tonight? We could…
RF: I COULD TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE ON SPACE MOUNTAIN! WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Abdullah the Butcher: Look, maam, all we need is a scale. Where might one be in this fine establishment?
AW: Hi!
RS: Damn...
AA finishes signing pieces of paper and the Posse heads to the locker room. There they find a scale. AA waves with his arms to the locker room for quiet, even though there isn’t any noise. But because of that, guys in the locker room start booing.
AA: I’m not stepping on this scale until you people shut up!
RF: SHUT YOUR MOUTH FAT BOY OR I’LL TAKE YOUR OLD LADY FOR A RIDE ON SPACE MOUNTAIN!!!!!
AA steps on the scale and the dials start spinning. He quickly steps off, however, and tries again to quiet the crowd.
AA: I had the title belts on my shoulders. Those belts probably weigh 20 pounds each.
RF: 40 POUNDS OF GOLD!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AA steps on the scale again and the dials spin again. And again he steps off before anyone can get a read on what the scale might say.
AA: I gotta take off my jacket, and my Rolex. And I’m sure my wallet must weigh five pounds because of all the CASH!
RF: JET FLYING, WOMAN CHASING, LIMO RIDING SON OF A GUN!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! THAT ROLEX COSTS MORE THAT YOUR ENTIRE CLOSET, FAT BOY!!!!!!
JA: Who’s Ric talking to?
AA takes off his jacket and hands his wallet and watch to Flair. He steps back on the scale for a third time, and by now a crowd has gathered. The dial spins again, and it appears to have reached beyond 300 pounds. AA steps off the scale before it stops.
AA: Abdullah’s stepping on the scale!
JA: Ummm, Abdullah’s at the deli getting some used forks.
AA: Then it’s broken. The scale is broken!
AA starts stomping a mudhole in the scale and breaks it before he can be pulled away. For good measure, Flair drops an elbow on the scale. Abdullah runs in from the deli and stabs the scale with a fork.
RS: Damn...
AA: This place sucks! I’m outta here!
JA: Ahh, come on. It’s not that bad. Let’s at least get in a workout before we leave.
(To Be Continued...)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:39:45 GMT -5
<Cole storms into The Rick;s Office.>
CC: What the hell do you think your doing?
GMtR: Can you be more specific.
CC: The line up this week. I’m wrestling a meaningless match against L.D. Williams while Alt gets ANOTHER shot at the OOWF World Heavyweight Title?
GMtR: You have a problem wrestling Williams? He is a very respected wrestler.
CC: Look this is nothing against Williams. He is a great competitor and he and Moose are a great team but the point is he is in the tag team divison and the match helps neither of us. Meanwhile Alt gets shot number 5,000,000 at the World Title.
GMtR: You and Firechild didn’t impress me much last week when you ran from Alt & Harris. Maybe you should earn another title shot rather then come bitching week in and week out about how you are getting screwed. Show up, beat Williams and show me you deserve the match.
CC: What the hell have I been showing you since I broke away from Ax? I have the best record in the Heavyweight Division. I haven’t been beaten fairly by Harris is any one on one match. You screwed me over when I was Tag Champ and you are screwing me over again. I’m giving you one week to make some changes around here or there will be consequences.
GMtR: blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Cole get the hell out of my office and get ready for your match next week.
<Cole walks out and slams the door beind him knocking a picture off the wall.>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:40:09 GMT -5
Unda Glitten Glotten Gloomin’ Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly For a white guy. <As the music plays a lime green hatchback sporting gold plated spinning rims (a horrible job with plenty of dirty metal showing through) and saying “Thug 4 Life” in Calligraphy on the back windshield come rolling onto the stage. Fly is in the driver’s seat bouncing up and down and sticking his arm out the window and trying to pump up the crowd. The car stops and then Fly bounces up and down trying to show that the car has hydraulics……which it clearly does not. Fly gets out of the car and does a little dance at the top of the rap. He throws in some cabbage patch and a retarded looking moonwalk. Then he gives a Hammer Dance down the entrance ramp and rolls into the ring for some more “White Boy” dancing. Fly’s low riding pants fall completely down during one dance move and he quickly pulls them back up and then grabs a microphone.> Fly: All the Fly Bitches & Bros up in Wiscizzy say “OOOOOO” <hold up microphone> Fans: OOOOOOOOO Fly: Nex’ week be tha mos’ def week in OODizzy Hizzy. Da Fly Guy bout to take the Onslizzy Bizzy and represent South Central yo. My shiz be slammin’ and Austrizzy and Unka Kracker can’t stop da Flava flowin’ from Fly-izzy. I’m invitin’ all da Fly Bitches & Bros to the dopest afta’ partizzy. We be partyin’ off the hizzy all night long. <Fly’s Theme Song starts again and we get more dancing including a very bad Worm. Fly finally exits the ring and dances back to the hatchback which doesn’t start. Fly puts it in neutral and a bunch of local jobbers come out to push the car to the back while Fly hops around inside the car and says good bye to the fans.> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:40:32 GMT -5
<dark room, single bulb, you know the routine>
So, Shashwat Mishra, I hear through the grapevine that you feel you have something to prove. I hear you feel that you are not getting the fear and respect you desire around here, so you are calling me out and challenging me to a no rules match.
Normally, I would dismiss the challenge. I am focused on kz. I am focused on destroying Drink and Destroy, but there is something about you that caught my eye. See you and I have gone round before, and nothing was really settled. I hung you by the neck and would have left you for dead. The only thing that saved you was your little frined Siriram sticking his nose into things.
Well Mishra, this week, Siriram won't be there to help you. You feel you have something to prove? You called the wrong man. Mishra, it will be a cold day in hell when someone like you makes their reputation at my expense. So this week, I am afraid I will have to make an example of you. You are going to bleed, you are going to suffer. And I am going to enjoy it.
Trust me.
<fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:40:55 GMT -5
**SFJ#37 is standing with L.D. Williams.**
SFJ#37: “L.D., This week you’ve been taken out of the tag team ranks and put in a match with top contender Chris Cole. Your thoughts?”
LDW: “Well, Moose has some educating to do this week, so I’m on my own. I’ve got no problem with that. And, I was going to make some comments about the Three Piece Set, Lord knows I’m not exactly fond of Firechild. But, as it turns out, Cole and I are in similar situations. We both have an agenda, and this match seems like nothing but a distraction. The thing Cole should keep in mind though, is that I’ve had exactly one shot at Hardbody Harris with the title on the line, on a night when I’d already beaten both Outback Jack and Gatorbait, and I still came this close to winning the title. If Cole can beat me, he’ll prove something.
Unfortunately for Mr. Cole, that’s not going to happen. I’m going to get those belts away from Johnny and Attitude if I have to pry them from their cold, dead hands. Anyone and anything that gets in my way gets destroyed, no questions asked..
Bring your best on Wednesday, Cole, and I’ll bring mine. May the best man win, and may you live to tell the tale…
…Fear me.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:41:21 GMT -5
The Chickenshit Heel Posse wanders into the weight room at the local gym. They are quite a sight, as Abdullah the Butcher and Attitude Adjuster both have their shirts off and look like twin brothers from different mothers. Attitude Adjuster, carrying the DDT title over one shoulder and the tag team belt over the other shoulder, decides to do some bench presses.
JA: Whoa there, AA. You’re going to work out? Don’t you need a sandwich or something first?
AA: What do you mean? I’m in the gym all the time. You just don’t see me here because you’re out golfing or something.
AA lays down on the bench and sets the weight at 350 pounds. He’s postures for a couple minutes when suddenly there’s a loud crash and lots of yelling and screaming. Someone hollers “Stop that Steroid Goon!” A 100-pound weight flies through the weight room like a paper airplane. From around the corner, we see four men hanging off Harper Camby, who seems a little pissed off.
HC: I DON’T WAIT FOR ANYONE! WHEN I WANT TO LIFT, I’M GONNA LIFT!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
RF: WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
HC: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!
RF: YOU HAVE NUTS THE SIZE PEAS, SHRINKAGE BOY!!!!!
Camby picks up Flair and lawn darts him into the rock climbing area.
HC: I WANT THAT $25,000!!!!!!!!! I WANT THOSE TITLES!!!!!!!!!!!
AA: Huh?
Swiftly, Johnny Adrenaline sneaks behind Camby and levels him with a belt shot to the back of the head. Camby staggers, trips over a free weight and falls on top of AA on the bench press. A referee appears from the back room and counts to three.
Ring Announcer: Your winner and new OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion, Harper Camby!
AA rolls out from under Camby, grabs his tag team belt and bolts for the door. The Posse follows.
AA: Johnny, what was he yelling about $25,000 for?
JA: Well, there’s something I need to tell you.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:41:43 GMT -5
Harper Camby is pissed about letting the Chickenshit Heels get away and picks up a weight and flings it into a wall mirror smashing it into pieces. Then he sees the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title and seems to calm a bit. He lifts it up and throws it over his shoulder and walks out of the gym.
****
Back at the arena Tommy O’Neal is in the “Heel” lockerroom talking things over with Thim Reynolds.
TR: Look I’ll take care of Seraph and you boys handle the Aussies and this partnership will work out fine. That was so simple even a limey should be able to follow it.
TO: Ay out to brik ya Bretis nec’ ya nancy boy. Ya do yur par’ an ‘arpa an me ul tek care of dos Aussey feks.
Harper walks into the room with the DDT Title over his shoulder.
TO: Is the twenny fev thousan’ dulla’s ores?
HC: They got away.
TO: Whot’s that?
HC: It’s something I picked up along the way.
TR: That’s the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title. He got to AA but it was for that title not the Tag Titles.
HC: Hey, I went there for the tag titles, this baby just happened to fall into my lap.
TO: An now ya jus’ forgo’ abot da teg tytels?
HC: That’s not how it is!
TR: I’ll solve the problem for you.
Thim trips Harper and then locks in the Reflex-o-lock. Harper is yelling for Tommy to stop him. Tommy hesitates but then grabs Thim and pulls him off Harper. Harper grabs the title and runs out of the room.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:42:04 GMT -5
*Sriram is seen loitering backstage as he tries to regain his lost touch of the surroundings.*
"Dammit, working while studying really is the pits. I don't indulge in an extra-curriculars during work because I've got exams, and this happens."
"A tournament to determine the IC title holder, and I'm not even on the card this week!!"
*He curses non-stop on his way back to the minor leagues*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:42:27 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels and the Entourage make their way to the parking lot of the gym. They have to have Simmons and Abdullah chase off adoring fans as they make their way to Flair's limo.]
JA: We can duct tape it, man.
AA: You know how bush league that'll look? We just need to make like Harris and get custom titles.
JA: That's not a bad idea. I think we could...
AA: What was Camby saying about $25,000?
JA: Um... uh.... remember the shit we got into at the Bitch Mountain school?
AA: Yeah, what about it?
JA: The cops put a bounty on us. I guess Harper found out about it.
AA: Oh, well we're MILES away from there. They'll never find us.
JA: Exactly.
[Johnny and AA wait for the chauffeur to open the door, but the short, round, balding, fat man from months ago hops out of the driver's door instead.]
SRBFM: [yelling in high pitched creepy voice] I FOUND YOU TWO!
AA: Oh shit, he wants the money!
JA: No, no, no, Alan. It's cool.
SRBFM: MR. ADRENALINE!! MR. CAPPS!! THAT MAN WILL PAY FOR HIS SINS!!
AA: What man?
JA: Hold up... Mr. Seeay, right? Let's just get in the car and discuss this. Ron, Abby, keep the crowd at bay!
[Simmons and Abdullah stand with their backs to the limo and watch a few gym patrons enter and exit the facility.]
AA: Mr. Seeay? Alan Capps, nice to meet you. [offers handshake]
SRBFM: ESPY SEEAY! NICE TO MEET YOU!
AA: You want a sandwich or something? I can get Ric to bring us some...
[TCH and Espy Seeay get into the limo as we fade out.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:43:06 GMT -5
Thim stands up, grabs Tommy and drives him hard backwards into the wall
TR: I don't give a flying fuck what your problem is, NEVER put your hands on me again or I'll snap your wrist so that you never throw another punch
## before either man can do anything else Thim's phone begins to ring. Thim lets go of Tommy who, seeing the darkness and thunder in Thims eyes decides to leave this one for now and backs out of the room
TR: Yes? What? Really . . . you've found him then. I'm surprised he exists to be honest. I thought I was being strung along. So how is the information gathering coming along - got anything good? NO, OK well keep trying. If you don't get anything soon bring him down to Wisconsin and I'll have a go. Yes I know the place is a shithole but I'm paying you to do a job now get the fuck on with it
## With that Thim snaps his phone closed and storms off
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:43:51 GMT -5
 Fly is driving downtown in his Lime Green Hatchback. He pulls up next to a group of tough looking black guys.Fly: Whaz happen my niggas. Make shur ya watch Mayhizzy to see ya homie win the bling. Keep it rizzeal. Fly putts down the road and the thugs stare at each other for a few moments and then bust out laughing uncontrollably. |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:44:26 GMT -5
(Uncle Entity has just watched Fly's promo and is staring incredulously at the monitor.)
Uncle Entity: Look at this sumbitch. The crowd hates him.
JG: (In elvish) Uh-huh.
Uncle Entity: Might be time for a face turn. I'm going to have to kill this motha fu...(cuts to commercial).
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 9:44:48 GMT -5
"I don't like you any more than you like me." Capellan continues his conversation with Niles, "But we have to work together this week so lets talk about a strategy for our match with D&D."
"I'll tell you our strategy." Niles answers, "I'll wrestle the match, and you'll keep your sorry ass outside the ring where it can't get pinned."
"Don't be ridiculous!" Capellan protests, "You can't beat D&D alone. That's turning this into a handicap match!"
"The only handicap I see is you." Niles storms off.
Capellan shakes his head,
"Oh, this is going to go just great."
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