OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 11-28-07

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Burnt Ranch, California

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match[/u]
Stank vs. LD WIlliams vs. Donovan Viper

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Outback Jack vs. Chris Alt

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Los Defenestrators vs. Phantos & Lucios

OOWF Onslaught Championship I Quit Match[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Hardbody Harris

Canadian Dragon vs. Capellan
Firechild vs. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III
Firewoman vs. Ryan Hardcore
Defenestrators vs. Blitz & Rabbxt
DH Magnusson & Spin Hansen vs. Apocalyptic Bastards
Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Knife vs. Seamus McNasty

card subject to governmental interference

[mooseheadjack]

<MHJ is hobbling through the back when he comes across LD Williams looking at the lineup sheet>

MHJ: Too bad about that team challenge thing tonight

LDW:<turning somewhat surprised to see Moose> I thought they took you to the hospital?

MHJ: Just observation. Its gonna take more than a fall from a cage to stop me. Looks like the loss certainly didn't hurt you any

LDW: Yeah, three way dance. If I could get Stank one on one again, I would beat him.

MHJ: I don't doubt it

LDW: Then you get a title shot

MHJ: I appreciate it, but not until I settle this with Crete

LDW:<A little frustrated> Damn Moose, when is it going to be over? You two have faced each other for over a month straight, and nothing has changed a bit except more spilled blood and shortened careers.

MHJ: Its what I have to do.....

LDW: Look, I am not about to go down that philosophical path with you, not again. Dammit Moose, you are too good to get bogged down in a feud like this. Look, you know Crete holds that world title in high esteem. You saw it when Crete held that title, it meant everything in the world to him, he was on top, he set the example, he forced others to do things on HIS terms. So what if YOU took the title? Now everything is done on YOUR terms and Crete has to deal with those consequences

MHJ:<A slight glint crosses Moose's eyes> LD, you don't understand. If I win the title, then what? We spend a year trying to kill each other for the title. Then the title merely detracts from the real issue between us. Titles are nice. But this is bigger than any of the titles in the OOWF. If I allow myself to get sidetracked, even for a second, Crete WILL end my career. Don't fool yourself into thinking that he wouldn't. This goes on until it ends.

<Moose walks away>

LD:<watching Moose walk away> Damn fool.

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG is Staggering through the back when he comes across Firechild looking at the lineup sheet)

CTG: I noticed you were out of title contention.....

FC: (Startled, turns) I thought they took you to the hospital?

CTG: I needed stitches and they wanted to check me for a concussion. Its gonna take more than a fall from a cage to stop me.

FC: I'm well aware. (looks at the lineup) I don't think I'll have a problem against the Uber-Snob

CTG: I don't doubt it, I know your work well.

FC: Glad to see you're on your feet. After three matches at the PPV, especially against Moose, I was worried. Hopefully the title picture will open back up for both of us.

CTG: I appreciate your kind words, but I'm not interested in a title until I settle this with Moosehead Jack

FC: Damn Crete, when is it going to be over? You two have faced each other for over a month straight, and nothing has changed a bit except more spilled blood and shortened careers.

CTG: It has to be done.....

FC: Look, I am not about to go down that philosophical path with you, not again. Dammit Crete, you are too good to get bogged down in a feud like this. Look, I know you hold the OOWF world title in high esteem. I saw it when you held that title, it meant everything in the world to you, you were on top, you set the example, you forced others to do things on YOUR terms. Shouldn't you be more concerned if Moose took the title? Now everything is done on HIS terms and you'd have to deal with those consequences!

CTG: (expression darkens) Flame, you don't understand. If I win the title, then what? Moose and I will spend a year trying to kill each other for the title. The title merely detracts from the real issue between us. This is bigger than any of the titles in the OOWF. If I allow myself to get sidetracked, even for a second, Moose WILL end my career. But I didn't have to remind you about that, right? This goes on until it ends.

(Crete walks away)

FC: (shakes his head) This isn't life or death, Crete......

[mooseheadjack]

*Run DLP is sitting in the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina*

DM: Wow, seems like the last week just flew by.

P: Yeah, you're not kidding. Midweek Mayhem, Dead Baby Bonanza, a tournament...

L: 2 Tournaments...

P: Yeah, 2 tournaments...and now, here we are in the aptly named "Burnt Ranch", California.

L: Did you just say "aptly"?

P: Would you rather I said "bitches"?

DM: Not particularly no.

P: OK then.

L: Anyway, where did this last week go?

DM: I know what you mean. It went by so fast, it's like we weren't even here...

L: ...

P: ...

DM: ...

DM: *clears throat*

L: Aquafina?

DM: No thanks, Lucios. *nods to invisible non-ninja cameraman, sent by corporate* I think I'd much rather have a taste of Holiday Flavor with a piping hot Gingerbread Flavored Coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.

P: *giggles* Really?

DM: CUT!

L: Phantos, just say your lines, man.

P: But is he really drinking Gingerbread Coffee? That stuff is so teh ghey.

L: Dude...

DM: *Stands up* A) I am not drinking Gingerbread Coffee, it's regular coffee, I'm just saying it's Gingerbread. B) Men with alternative lifestyles aren't the only ones who enjoy flavored coffee. You should really be more tolerant. C) I'm not sure how you managed to actually vocalize "teh ghey". That kind of freaked me out. D) Say your lines, and ONLY your fucking lines or E) I will kill you. We clear?

P: Aww man...

L: Ok, take it from the top?

P: I'd rather take Lauren Phoneix' top...IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

DM: Lucios...

L: Ok. Phantos. Seriously. You need to shut up now.

P: Or what?

L: PHANTOS SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL DECAPITATE YOU!

*everyone stares as Lucios tossed out the F-Bomb*

L: What?

P: You said...

L: I KNOW WHAT I SAID!

*uncomfortable silence*

DM: Ok, ok...Let's take it from Lucios' line after my tag hit.

INNCSBC: Ok. 3...2...*points*

L: And in keeping with the holidays, Dunkin' Donuts has brought back its Holiday inspired line of donuts, including the popular Gingerbread Donut which Rachel Ray says she splits with her mom

P: *stifles a giggle* So remember, this holiday season...

DM: *glares at Phantos* While you're out running your holiday errands...*turns back to the camera and smiles cheesily* Dunkin' Donuts because America Runs on Dunkin'(tm)

*all 3 give cheesy smiles and a thumbs up*

INNCSBC: And....Clear. great work guys.

DM: Phantos, listen man. I know you're loosening up an everything, and coming into your own, but instead of this juvenile bullshit, try focusing on your 25th match in a row with Los Defenstratores, and figure out a way you don't get screwed out of the titles.

P: I thought that was your job.

DM: YOU SON OF A...

*Lucios has to physically restrain Davin from Phantos*

DM: I come down and take CHAIR SHOTS meant for you when I'm supposed to be in a hospital bed? And you run this line of bullshit? You ungrateful little son of a...

L: STOP! STOP IT BOTH OF YOU! We need to get out of here for a while. Let's go visit your Mom, Davin.

DM: Mommy? Why?

L: It'll do you good. Go back to Cummaquid, see your old stomping grounds; besides, Phantos and I haven't been to Cape Cod yet.

DM: I suppose. Let me call Mommy and see if we can.

*Davin dials his Sprint PCS phone. We cut to commercial*

*We're back, and Moments Ago, Phantos narrowly escaped being the source of Davin's attempted murder charge. Scene opens on the Yum! Foods corporate jet. Phantos and Lucios have agreed to one non-sponsored Adult Beverage at the Urging of Davin. "Just this once*

DM: So I was watching your tourney match on OOWF-TV 24-7, Phantos...

P: Yeah?

DM: Yeah, that Rabbxt guy and you seemed to have some really cool Flippy Guy chemistry.

P: Yeah. I haven't worked with a guy as Flippy as me in a long time.

L: Maybe even Flippier!

P: Yeah. Maybe. Have you seen him on YouTube? He can even do a handstand for 18 seconds! I can't even do that.

DM: Well, maybe he'd be interested in making more than the rookie minimum?

L: Heh. Good point. More the merrier, right? I'll look into it.

P: No. I will. Let me do it. It's the least I can do. I'll see if I can't talk to him for a little bit when we get back, see if he's interested.

DM: Can't hurt. Anyway, did you guys see I got Harris again this week?

L: Yeah. Your last match with him was one for the ages...

P: At least it will be when it gets edited in...

ALL: LATER!

*All laugh*

DM: Well guys, I hope this week, Run DLP's pattern is broken a little. You guys getting screwed out of the titles isn't funny anymore.

L: Just gotta work harder, I guess.

P: If that's possible.

DM: I'll do what I can, guys.

L: Hey Davin, no more Moose smack?

DM: Ugh, no. And for the record, Crete can fuck off as well. "savior.self". You believe that bullshit? I return a favor, he's all thinking I want his help. This just in. Crete. You cape-wearing superhero freak show. I don't need, want, didn't ask for YOUR FUCKING HELP. I was repaying a favor that I didn't ask for out of some silly sense of obligation. Don't you worry Takakon. I WILL NOT make that mistake again.

P: DAYYYYYYYYY-um...He got jacked up!

*Lucios glares at Phantos, then his empty glass*

DM: Not bad enough. If Bookerm....I mean "Moosehead Jack" didn't piss me off so much, I'd root for him this week.

L: But he's a...

DM: I'm a tweener. Duh. Tweener. In between.

P: Kind of like a bi...

*Lucios restrains Davin again*

L: OK, NO MORE TALKING UNTIL WE GET TO DAVIN'S MOM'S HOUSE!

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose is walking down the hall and as he rounds the corner, he walks right into Concrete TG. In a moment of drama, stage hands drop what they are doing and rush away and we get the extreme closeup on both Crete and Moose's eyes and that old west music that comes on just before a big shoot out plays in the back ground>

MHJ: Crete

CTG: Moose

MHJ: You still haven't had enough have you.

CTG: You're still standing.

MHJ:<chuckling> You can't win this. You know deep in your heart you can't win this. You wanna know why?

CTG: I'm sure you will tell me

MHJ: Crete, the reason you can't win this is because you want more. I know you, you want the gold, you want the adulation that comes from the crowd. You want the success and the fame that comes with it. You want to be the man, the man a whole company relies on. And you will never get that here, not as long as I am breathing, and you don't have what it takes to stop me.

CTG: And let me guess, none of that matters to you

MHJ: Nope. What matters to me is carnage and mayhem. You tell me, right now, who is closer to getting what they want? You and I can go out there and kill each other every night for the rest of our careers. I have what I want. Each day you try in vain to destroy me is one less day in your career to chase that success you crave.

CTG: Titles can wait. I HAVE to drive you from this sport. I HAVE to set the example for the OOWF.....

MHJ: Crete, that is where you have it all wrong. You can NEVER set the example for the OOWF. You are Wyatt Earp, and the OOWF is Tombstone. You may think that you are bringing law and order around here, but in the end, all it is going to do is drag you down into its corruption. Purity and sanity have no place in the OOWF.

CTG: That's not true. There is good to be found everywhere.....

MHJ: And killing yourself to find that one moment of "good" is worth it? Look Crete, here is your chance. Walk away.

CTG: And give YOU that satisfaction? Never. My home is in the OOWF

MHJ: Oh really? Look Crete, it is well known that you have a standing offer from the folks up north. And this kind of heroic bravado flies up there. Hell Vince would love it. He would probably give you the title and let you recruit another Guild. Take the offer Crete. Take the offer that you should have taken over the summer.

CTG: I......

MHJ: You take that offer and disappear from the OOWF forever, and I will walk to the ring and say you were the better man.

<with that Moose walks away leaving Crete standing with his mouth hanging open>

[mooseheadjack]

**LD Williams is walking when he runs in to Canadian Dragon.**

CD: "Why do you bother with Moose? You know how things will end."

LD: "I....I don't know. The same reason why you and I became Weapon X. The same reason you went against your nature to join me, Dawg, and Moose? I see what could be...."

CD: "Speaking of what could be....New Year’s Evil III could be headlined by Weapon X fighting over the World title...all you have to do..."

LD: "All I have to do? Who says you are getting the World title shot? Maybe the Rick will put you and Firewoman in a triple threat match with the Defenestrators and the tag champs?"

CD: "The Rick is dumb...but he is greedy. Why waste me in a Tag Title match...

*Dragon pauses as LD looks on with anger..*

CD: "....if it's not the return of Weapon X?"

LD: "Nice save."

*Camera fades to black.*

[mooseheadjack]

[Voltage and Ecosystem are backstage...by themselves, I guess.]

Volt: Alright! Turning face was the smartest move ever!

Eco: Yeah, now we get tag title sho...wait, we're faces?

Volt: Well, yeah. We're feuding with LOADED, so I suppose we are.

Eco: We're feuding with LOADED?

Volt: Don't you remember? They kicked us out when Los Defenestratores won the tag titles. Apparentely there's only room for one set of 'crazy window guys' in the corporation.

Eco: And they KILLED MY DOG!

Volt: Uh, that was Michael Vi...no, sure, they killed your dog. Let's go with that.

Eco: WE WILL WIN THE TITLES FOR THE MEMORY OF SPARKLES!

Volt: ...your dog was called Sparkles?

Eco: I'm pretty sure said dog never existed.

Volt: ...

Eco: ...

[Voltage hits Eco with a brick.]

Eco: OW! Didn't we stop doing that a while ago?

Super Mario: MARIO!

Eco: WHATS WITH ALL THE OLD DEFENESTRATORS GIMMICKS COMING BACK?

BRICK~!: Hey guys, it's me! BRICK~!

Eco: FUCK OFF BRICK~!

Volt: Yeah, you weren't ever really funny.

BRICK~!: You don't even want me to attack anyone? Like those guys you're facing this week?

Volt: That's assault, man. Get yourself locked up and stuff.

BRICK~!: Please?

Volt: Alright, go attack Moosehead Jack for me. And tell him thanks for the booking at the PPV despite my absence.

[MHJ runs in and heartpunches Volt.]

BRICK~!: So...do I attack him now or what?

[mooseheadjack]

In a locker room, Firewoman looks at herself in the mirror. She examines the stitches in her split lip closely.

Well, there's only one thing to do with a battle scar like that....

PARTY!!!!!

The camera pulls back to reveal the door wide open, and Canadian Dragon, Knife, and The Defenestrators are visible, as are assorted friends, family, and hangers-on. The music cranks up and confetti is thrown everywhere.

CD: Wooo! Title shots all around!!! He passes a tray of shotglasses full of some alcoholic concoction around. The music continues. There are cheers and assorted SFJs and SMJs trying to get comments.

Ecosystem: So, you have this WHOLE locker room to yourself?

FW: Yeah, that's why I offered to have the celebration here. That way no one could get pissed about it.

FW: gathering her team-mates around her Guys...look, I just wanted to say thanks for giving me a chance, and treating me as an actual partner. It meant a lot to me.

The male wrestlers shuffle their feet uncomfortably, and mumble things like "no problem."

FW: okay, hey, didn't mean to bring the party down. How about some champagne?

Firewoman shakes up the bottle and sprays them. The male wrestlers hesitate for a minute, then they grab bottles, shake them up, and spray them on Firewoman, each other, other guests... pretty soon, the entire party is drenched or being drenched with champagne.

[mooseheadjack]

Seamus McNasty sitting in front of locker...takes a swing out of his flask and looks at the line up...camera zooms in for close up...
"The Knife ahh, what the hell is that. Is your mum the spoon? Well listen up spatula...I don't care what your name is, I don't care if your used to rasslin' with farm animals, you see when you were rollin around the farm I was watching me friend die in the streets of Belfast, fighting for me Ireland...I don't care about anything except for the fact that your the next victim...so knife when your sleeping at night and you see the shadows play along your wall and you hear the rustling of the trees in the wind and you hear the drumbeat in your ears...listen closely to the chant...Seamus, Seamus, Seamus...
camera fades to black

[mooseheadjack]

*D.H. Magnusson and Spin Hansen are in the Hallway of Random Encounters!~*

DHM: Saw you get teeth rattled by by that broad at the PPV.

SH: Saw you just your head caved in by those idiots.

*both stare intensely at each other for a long moment, before cracking up*

DHM: Yeah...Not my proudest moment.

SH: I think that chick almost broke my jaw.

DHM: Hell, I think you almost broke my jaw.

SH: Your jaw. My hand. Call it a trade off.

DHM: So...We got The Apocalyptic Bastards, assuming they can squeegee SYB off the mat after Sunday - Who do you think being punished, us or them?

SH: Matter much to you?

DHM: Nah. I figure it's them though. We'll still able to work next week.

SH: You know it. Hey, you drink?

DHM: You think I could wrestle here if I didn't?

SH: Two good points outta you in one conversation. I know I need a drink. Come on.

[mooseheadjack]

[Nerves Agent is standing outside talking to anyone that will listen.]

NA: I don't care who you are. I'm the best no matter what. Ask anyone. In fact, hey guy, yeah you, aren't I awesome.

Guy: I don't even know who you are.

NA: Well you will soon enough. As soon as you see me in a match. You'll love me.

[mooseheadjack]

**Rabbxt is walking to Firewoman's locker room and sees Blitz on the way.**

Blitz: Oh, hey, Rabbxt. Where are you going?

Rabbxt: Firewoman's. She texted me about some kind of party?

Blitz: Yea, I don't know. I can't get any texts. I'm already over my limit for the month.

Rabbxt: What plan do you have?

Blitz: Unlimited nights and weekends and to others with the same plan, but only 500 otherwise.

Rabbxt: Oh, that sucks. You got Verizon?

Blitz: Nah, Sprint.

Rabbxt: Of, shit. Sorry, dude. I've been texting you like crazy over the past few weeks. I've got unlimited.

Blitz: No, that's alright. I want to switch over to Verizon. I'm just waiting for my plan to expire.

Rabbxt: Yea. I need a new phone, actually. This one is totally beat up. I can't even use the camera because of all the scratches on the lens.

Blitz: At least your phone has a camera.

Rabbxt: Haha. You don't have a camera phone? Do you live in the past by choice?

Blitz: I've had this thing for years, though. It never really hit me that I should be updating as the times change.

Rabbxt: I usually try to stay as up-to-date with my electronics as I can. Sucks that I don't have a bunch of money saved up for this shit, though. I've got some little side jobs that...

**Nerve Agent runs up to Rabbxt and Blitz.**

Nerve Agent: Aren't you guys coming to the party? Come on! Let's go!

**Nerve Agent runs off, heading towards Firewoman's locker room.**

Blitz: He got a text, too? I don't even know who that guy is.

Rabbxt: Some new guy. I've talked to him once or twice before either of us really got into the wrestling scene. Haven't seen him in a while, though.

Blitz: Oh, alright. Whatever. Back on the topic of our cell phones...

Rabbxt: Wait! What the hell are we standing in the middle of the hallway for when we should be at Firewoman's, partying!?

**Rabbxt and Blitz run off to Firewoman's locker room and go in.**

Rabbxt: Hey, Fire!

Firewoman: Oh, hey, Rabbxt. Hey, Blitz.

Blitz: Sweet party you got here.

Firewoman: Yea, thanks. We would've had some champagne for you both, but I think we've fountained the majority of it.

Rabbxt: Nah, that's cool. I'm not big on the stuff, anyway. But I've been wanting to tell you that you've got some impressive skills, Fire, and I hope to see you using them the right way.

Firewoman: Thanks for the compliment. Wait, do you think I'm using them wrong?

Rabbxt: No, I'm just saying that if you keep up the pace and don't slack, you'll be getting somewhere in no time.

Blitz: You told me that I wasn't going to get anywhere.

Firewoman: I'm sure he was just playing.

Rabbxt: What I meant was that you don't take what you want, so people are going to walk all over you.

Blitz: I've been trying my best since I've been here and haven't been slacking one bit. What are you talking about?

Rabbxt: It's just... Your personality, I guess. You're too shy.

Blitz: I go out and perform in front of tens of thousands of fans and you call me shy? You think I've got stage fright?

Rabbxt: Not exactly. Sure, you've got balls to go out and do what you do every night, but the way you let other people treat you is weak.

Blitz: Because I'm a nicer person than you, you think you can just insult me for it? I'm a face! I'm nice!

Firewoman: Guys, come on. Don't make a scene at my party.

Rabbxt: Hold on, Fire... I'm not insulting you, Blitz. I'm just trying to let you in on some inside stuff.

Blitz: Why can't you just let me be who I am, though? I've never pointed you out as my role model, and at this point, I wouldn't want to take after you, anyway.

Rabbxt: And now you're insulting me...

Blitz: You started this all and now you're afraid that I'm going to end it? What is it with you?

Firewoman: Guys...

Blitz: Hold on, Fire...

Firewoman: Ugh...

Rabbxt: Look, Blitz. I'm not trying to get into it with you right now. I'm trying to be a nice person.

Blitz: Have you even been listening to some of the things you've been telling me? Attack my own team mates to ensure that I get the win? Be more aggressive and take out anyone and everyone I can? What kind of advice is that?

Rabbxt: Look, Blitz. You've been noticing the constant matches that we're being booked in, right? We're being put against tag teams. Me and you. I'm just trying to pull us together a little bit. We've got our differences, but if we're going to expect to win any of these tag matches we get thrown into, we've got to cooperate as a team once in a while.

Blitz: Yea. You're right on that one, I guess. I just don't fancy your constant bickering and complaining about how you want me to do this and that and everything that you would do if you were me.

Firewoman: Hey! Both of you! You're both awesome competitors in the ring, and I know this first-hand. There's no need to be fighting right now, especially at my party. You're lucky I'm here to make some peace between the two of you or you guys would be in an instant feud right about now.

Rabbxt: You're totally right, Firewoman. Sorry about all this.

Blitz: Yea. Me, too.

**Nerve Agent smashes a champagne bottle over Blitz's head. Rabbxt grabs the broken bottle out of Nerve Agent's hand and shoves him, backing him off. Firewoman throws Nerve Agent out of the party.**

Blitz: Ok, ow. That hurt. Thanks for at least getting him away from me. The hell's his problem?

Rabbxt: He gets a little crazy, some times.

Firewoman: I can tell.

Blitz: At least I know you've got my back. And you, too, Firewoman. Thanks for that.

Firewoman: Yea, yea. Less pussy talk, more party!

** The party continues!**

[mooseheadjack]

(Spin Hansen and DH Magnusson are WALKING INTO THE DESTROYITARIUM!)

Spin: Welcome to the Destroyitarium. Now, keep in mind that me letting you in here doesn't mean that you're part of Drink and Destroy... but I wanted to show you how we do things around here. Try to give you a leg up against the competition... we've got a lot of new faces around here, and anything that makes you stand out can't hurt, right?

DH: True... but why me? And where are the others?

Spin: Jack and Stank are out attending to business. As for the reason why I asked the Powers that Be to partner with you... I like you. You remind me a lot of me before I lost my focus, got involved with O'Neil, and let everything go to hell. I know that you've learned a lot of harsh lessons in your life, but if I can prevent a few more from happening by my experience, we might as well. What do you want to drink?

DH: Tequiza.

Spin: ... the FUCK?

DH: I'm just pullin' your chain. Gimme a Newcastle.

Spin: Good call. (A cell phone rings, and Spin answers it.)

Yeah?

OK, I'll meet you there in ten.

Yeah, I remember what you told me. Talk to you later.

DH: My gut tells me that it's time to clear out.

Spin: Yeah, pretty much.

DH: This wouldn't have anything to do with the guy that you've been talking to in the boiler room, would it?

Spin: Can't say that it does or it doesn't, but if there's one thing that I can tell you... keep your appointments. Just trust me on this one.

DH: Good advice. Let's give 'em hell tonight.

Spin: Oh, I plan on it.

[mooseheadjack]

The LOADED locker room... Ecosystem and Voltage are celebrating. Viper and MacCappington have just walked in.

DV: Ok, ok, I get it now. Now I know why you keep these two doofs around.

FFMIII: See, THAT's the kind of understanding we need around here.

Volt: You hear that, Eco? Viper gets us! He finally does!

Eco: WOOT! And hey, I was a damn good tag team partner last week against Chris Alt and Lucios, wasn't I?

DV: Yeah, I have to admit. You were pretty damn good, Eco.

Viper offers Eco to shake his hand. Eco gladly takes his hand and does the manly quick pseudo-hug forearm thump to the back thing.

Volt: YEAH! Friendship! Put 'er there pal!

Voltage puts his arm around Viper and gives him his hand. Viper piefaces Voltage to the ground.

Volt: What was that for?

Eco: Haha! I'm his friend and you're not!

DV: Neither of you are my friends. But you are my teammates. But one thing that hasn't changed - you guys took my title shot. I should be getting a shot at the World Championship. Not Dragon.

Volt: I don't know what you're complaining about, you're getting a shot at Mayhem this week!

DV: That's right. And I intend to beat Stank and become the champion again.

LDW: Not if I can help it.

LD Williams and Canadian Dragon walk in to the LOADED locker room.

LDW: Did you already forget about me? It's a triple threat match. You have to beat Stank AND me to become the champ. You may beat Stank, but you won't beat ME, brother.

DV: I'm NOT your bro...

LDW: And you're NOT going to be the champion this Wednesday. I will.

DV: Always confident, aren't you, LD?

LDW: Of course I am.

DV: You know, you're good, but I don't think you have what it takes. I've been the champ. I know what it takes. You, you'll always be right up there. You'll always beat guys who can become champion. But you will never BE the champ. Not when I'm around.

CD: Viper, I've been LD's partner for over a year. AND I'm a former world champion myself. I can tell you without a doubt, LD has what it takes.

DV: And what the hell are you doing here?

CD: I've got a world title shot coming up. Just sizing up my possible opponents.

Stank: Ahem....

Stank walks by with the world title on his shoulder.

FFMIII: Stank...

Stank: Benedict....

FFMIII: Okay then...

Stank: Dragon, you're wasting your time. The only one you have to worry about being your opponent is me. These guys are good, but I plan on being champion for a long long time.

DV: Plans, shmans. You can plan all you want. I don't plan on being champ, I WILL be champ.

Stank: Yeah, yeah. Hey, where's your third guy? JW Westgaard?

Dragon and LD Williams look at each other.

LDW: Don't go there, man.

Stank: He's still hanging out at the Fortress of Snobbery, Capslock?

FFMIII: Really... don't go there, man.

[mooseheadjack]

[Nerves Agent gets a text on his cell phone]

Firewoman's text: Party at my locker room!

NA: Hmm. Why not?

[Nerves Agent runs through hallways to Firewoman's locker room. He sees Rabbxt and Blitz in the hallway so he runs up to him]

NA: Aren't you guys coming to the party? Come on! Let's go!

[Nerves Agent gets to Firewoman's party just in time to see the last of the champagne being sprayed everywhere]

NA: Now this is a party.

[Nerves Agent parties around for a while, then sees that Rabbxt and Blitz have shown up. So he runs over to them.]

NA: Whoo! [Nerves Agent smashes a champagne bottle over Blitz's head]

Firewoman: Okay that's it! You're outta here.

NA: Aww, come on, I was just having some fun!

[Nerves Agent is kicked out and the party continues.]

[mooseheadjack]

*The party is in full swing. Half the roster is in there, when the intercom blares up.*

Announcer: Would everyone please immediately tune in to OOWF Television? There is an important announcement that everyone should watch.

*Everyone switches on OOWF Television in their respective locker rooms. At first it’s just tapes of everyone cutting their promos, then the screen goes black.*

Voice-Over Guy: This is the OOWF. You are used to be amazed by intense promos and incredible matches.

*Lights flash all over the screen, swinging around.*

VOG: But these two individuals stand out above the rest. And together they make the greatest tag team to have set foot in the OOWF.

*Random images flash: A Texas mansion, the OOWF World Tag Team Titles, a car entering the parking lot and the empty OOWF ring.

VOG: The revolution of this industry. They are here to save us.

*Cuts to the dark OOWF arena, empty except for the new guys setting up the ring and a few other stage assistants. Pyro goes crazy, lights flashing everywhere, and smoke is released onto the balcony. Two silhouettes enter on opposing sides of the balcony, and the only things visible in the dark arena are their outlines and beer bottles.

Joey Styles: There they are!

*The music cranks up, and the two make their way down the stairs, one of them wobbling slightly, steadying himself with a few more beers. Pyro goes off alongside them as they make their way down, giving everyone a glimpse of their faces.*

VOG: The time is now! The new age beckons! THEY ARE HERE!

*One of the men reaches the entrance ramp and strikes a Jericho pose with his back to the camera. The other is still struggling with staying upright, gives up and just falls down the stairs onto his face. The pyro reaches orgasm, the lights go on and the standing man turns around. It’s… Blitz! He grabs a mic.

Blitz: Rabbxt, I told you to slow down with the drinking.

*The locker room comes out to confront Rabbxt and Blitz.*

The Nerves Agent: Didn’t you just debut a few weeks ago? What’s with reintroducing yourselves?

Blitz: We were teaming up with SYB 2 weeks after our debuts. We clearly weren’t grabbing attentions. And besides, this is fun. Plus we were a bit drunk.

TNA: SYB? Oh, I feel so sorry for you. But how did you persuade the pyro and lighting guys to give you this entance? And the voice-over guy. And the OOWF TV guy?

Blitz: We bribed them of course.

Phantos: With Aquafina?

Ryan Hardcore: With cumshots?

Blitz: No, with booze and drugs. Who knew Firewoman’s stuff was so strong? We might need new stage hands for the next few weeks. Come on, Rabbxt, we have a match later tonight. You need to get some rest.

Rabbxt: Aw man, I don’t feel so good. I don’t think I’m in the condition to…

*Rabbxt throws up.*

Rabbxt: That’s much better. Let’s go do some flippy shit.

Blitz: New guy, clean this up!

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ#1 - ...holee shit.

Stank - What?

SFJ#1 - I'm standing by here with the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Stank... coming to you live from... the Burnt Ranch Golds... gym?

Stank - What? I work out. I didn't win this belt by drinking all the time...

SFJ#1 - Yeah but-

Stank - The name of the group is Drink AND Destroy, not Drink and lounge around on your fat ass.

SFJ#1 - Okay...

Stank - Look, if it's any consolation, I'll be meeting up with Outback and Spin at the Destroyitarium later. I've invested a lot in this massive beer gut. But, that doesn't mean I let the rest of my body go to waste. I need to stay strong. You realize how strong you have to be to move a gut like this around, as agile as I do, the way that I do?

SFJ#1 - I suppose you have a point.

Stank - I'm the champ. I plan on staying the champ. To do that I need to be able to destroy my opponents, whoever they may be. Whether it's the flippy guys, the power houses, the technical wrestlers, or... a chick.

SFJ#1 - Tonight you've got LD Williams and Donovan Viper...

Stank - Two tough opponents in a three way dance for my title. I've been down this road before with them and came out on top. I need to stay on top of my game to do it again. That's why I'm here, Charlotte. There's a time for fun and games and there's a time to fight... to destroy.

SFJ#1 - Just one more question on a different note. How would you describe your reign as champion so far?

Stank - ... So far, so good I suppose. Listen, there's been a lot of talk lately... people aspiring to be champ and the battles they'll wage afterwards. The battle is here. I'M the battle. To the great pretenders I say this... until you beat ME, there's no looking past me. I've said it before, this is mountain you gotta climb. I knock you off, it's a long way down. Viper, Williams... good luck.

You'll definitely need it.

[Camera Fades]

[mooseheadjack]

*Outback Jack is in the Destroyitarium with Wally B. King and SFJ 96*

SFJ: Isn't it a little early to be drinking beer?

OBJ (dinks and belches): That would be Australian for no.

WBK: Think of it as carbo loading.

SFJ: Um, OK. Kind of like when Chris Alt drinks lemonade?

OBJ: Lemonade? Lemonade? Are we talking about lemonade?

SFJ: Well, sort of.

OBJ: Let me tell you something. I remember back when Chris Alt commanded respect in this business. These days he's like a shadow of his former self.

SFJ: Oh, let me guess! You're going to beat him up to try to motivate him?

OBJ: No. I don't really care all that much about him. I just plan on beating him.

SFJ: But wouldn't my idea make for a compelling story line?

OBJ:....?

WBK:....?

SFJ: Oh, never mind. When's Lucas getting here?

OBJ: Who?

*Wally nudges him and whispers in OBJ's ear*

OBJ: Oh, I expect Stank any minute now.

[mooseheadjack]

**Rabbit pukes again.**

Blitz: Oh, come on. You didn't even drink that much.

Rabbxt: I think all the shit I drank and all the drugs I took just had sex and made a coke and booze liquified baby in me that keeps swimming through all my veins.

Blitz: Dude... You're fucked. We've got a match and there's no way you're doing any flippy shit without landing on your neck.

Rabbxt: Nah, man. I'm totally fine. I'm gifted like that. I flip better when I'm completely out of it.

**Rabbxt tries a standing back flip, but lands on his forehead and begins to bleed from it.**

Rabbxt: Yea...

Blitz: Oh my God, dude! Are you alright?

Rabbxt: Yea. I'm good to go.

Blitz: Oh, no you're not. We've got to get you back to normal before our match or there's no way we're winning anything.

**Blitz gets Rabbxt to try out all of the ways to get this kind of stuff out of his system, but nothing seems to be working all the way.**

Phantos: Here ya go, kid.

**Rabbxt takes the Aquafina and downs it, while Phantos walks away for no reason.**

Rabbxt: Damn, dude. I feel ten times better... But man, does my forehead hurt. I think that's the last time I drink or snort or smoke anything for a while.

Blitz: Good thing, too. If we're going to get this team together, we need to act like a team.

Rabbxt: Yea, yea... Where's Fire?

Blitz: Still partying, I presume.

Rabbxt: She should come to our match with us. Watch what we can do, live.

Blitz: Why would she do that?

Rabbxt: Because she thinks we're awesome. Duh.

Blitz: Ah... I guess so.

Rabbxt: Plus, she can help us out if we get into a situation we can't get out of.

Blitz: Cheating?

Rabbxt: I like to call it helping out close friends.

Blitz: It's called cheating.

Rabbxt: Call it what you want to call it, but having her out there would give us the advantage.

Blitz: I just don't like the ways you work your matches, man. I can't text her, anyway. I'm over my limit, remember?

**Rabbxt gets done pressing buttons on his cell phone, closes it, and looks back at Blitz.**

Rabbxt: What's that, Blitz? I kind of blocked you out while I was texting Firewoman. I told her that she should come to the ring with us for our match and maybe help us out if we need it. That's cool with you, right?

Blitz: Actually, I was just saying...

Rabbxt: Perfect. I'll text you and tell you what she says. I'm going to go get some more of that Aquafina.

Blitz: I can't text, anymore. I'm over my...

**The door slams shut behind Rabbxt.**

Blitz: Sigh...

[mooseheadjack]

(The El Carro de Los Defenstratores drives up to the arena and brakes HARD. The two tag champs jump out and start running.)

El Ecosistema: Ay yi yi! Mandas muy rapido! (Yikes! You drive really fast!)

El Voltaje: Llegamos con una hora de retraso! (We're an hour late!)

El Ecosistema: Espero que nuestra combate no empezo! (I hope our match didn't start!)

El Voltaje: Pero, no podemos perder nuestros titulos si no llegamos. (But, we can't lose our titles if we don't show up.)

Ecosistema: Si.

(Both stop. There is a pause.)

Ecosistema: ...Necesitamos el sueldo de esta noche? (Do we need tonight's wages?)

Voltaje: Creo que no. (I don't think so.)

(Another pause.)

Ecosistema: Podemos ir al cine...(We could go to the movies...)

Voltaje: No. Debemos luchar. Vaminos. (No. We should wrestle. Let's go.)

Ecosistema: (Muttering) Senor Dudley Do-Right...

(Ecosistema and Voltaje continue on.)

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Burnt Ranch, California

Firechild marches into GM the Rick's office, and interrupts an important phone call to the Bahamas.

"This had better be good, Chris - you've been skimping on the promos lately, we don't pay you to wrestle...."

"You don't pay me. “

"That's not the point! You can’t just storm into..."

"Whatever, I have a proposition."

"...office and....what? Like I said this had better be good."

"OK, if you let me name the stipulations for my match with MacCrappington this week...."

"No way 'Child, I've had enough trouble with that one, from the 3 Piece Set, the Establishment, the Chickenshit Heels..."

".....and I'll owe you a favor. One thing. Anything."

"Anything? Like you'll be my bitch, my go-to guy, that kinda thing?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You've got it, but I never thought you'd sell you soul to me 'Child."

"The ends justifies the means...it'll be a cage match, with escape being the winning condition......"

"OK..."

"...and any and all weapons are legal."

JW WESTGAARD, BLOOD BATH & NERVE AGENT vs. THE BAY BRIDGE BOYZ & CARL FROM FRESNO

The Bay Bridge Boys, Jinx and Spazz, sprint to the ring. They are the reigning SoCal Championship Wrestling tag Team champions. Their partner Carl From Fresno wanders to the ring, looking homeless and confused, but he is a big guy and the fans seem to like him. Their opponents come to the ring together, JW Westgaard is making his return to the OOWF and Nerve Agent and Blood Bath are making their debuts. They come to the ring and climb between the ropes. Westgaard eyes the Bay Bridge Boyz and smirks, they must remind him of someone. It looks like it will be JWW starting with Jinx. They lock up in the middle of the ring and Jinx hits JWW with a forearm to the mouth, then hits the ropes and tries a cross body block, but JWW catches him and carries him to the corner and tags in Nerve Agent. Westgaard then throws Jinx backward as Nerve hits the ropes and drops a knee across his chest. Nerve pulls Jinx to his feet and hits a release overhead suplex that sends Jinx into his corner. Jinx tags in Carl From Fresno, and the fans go crazy. Carl wanders into the ring and Nerve bounds off the ropes and tries to take him down with a shoulder block, but he just bounces off of him and hits the mat. Carl grabs Nerve by the legs and swings him around the ring and lets him fly, and he heads straight into his corner where he tags in Blood Bath. Blood comes in and charges across the ring and clotheslines Carl, but he doesn’t go down, so he hits the ropes again and lands another clothesline, but he doesn’t go down again. Blood bounds off the ropes and tries another clothesline, but Carl tries one of his own. Blood ducks and takes him down with a hang man’s neck breaker. Blood pulls Carl to his feet and whips him into the corner and charges in, but Carl swats him out of the air and slams him to the mat. Carl wanders to his corner and tags in Spazz. Spazz springboards off the top rope and tries a clothesline, but Blood catches him and plants him with a Samoan drop in one nice motion. Blood drags Spazz across the ring and tags in Westgaard, Westgaard waits for Spazz to get to his feet, then hits the ropes and destroys him with the Crosscheck! JWW pulls him to his feet and plants him with the Ice Auger, covers as Blood and Nerve charge across the ring and keep Jinx and Carl at bay and JWW gets the three count.
WINNERS in 8:04 – JW Westgaard, Nerve Agent & Blood Bath

DH MAGNUSSON & SPIN HANSEN vs. APOCALYPTIC BASTARDS

The Apocalyptic Bastards come to the ring for their match, Apocalyptic Existence walks stoically to the ring, looking very much like Tyson Tomko. Meanwhile SYB is complaining loudly walking alongside him, evidently he is not happy about the way his team treated him at the pay per view. AB step between the ropes and SYB ha a mic. Of course he does.

You know, I have NEVER been as mistreated as I was at the pay per view, IN MY LIFE! I was going to lead MY team to glorious victory and all of you losers screwed it up! Your incompetence cost me a shot at the world title! I should be facing Stank for the world title at the end of December! I should be the world champion! Well tonight I start my revenge tour! Spin Hansen get your fat ass out here and take your punishment like a man!

The whole time Apocalyptic Existence is standing in the corner looking rather amused. Spin Hansen and DH Magnusson come to the top of the ramp and pause for a moment and let the crowd cheer them. They head down the ramp and step between the ropes and SYB immediately charges across the ring and lays into Spin with forearms to the chest. Spin hardly moves and looks across the ring at AE who just shrugs and steps out of the ring and waits on the apron. SYB keeps at it, hammering Spin in the chest, but Spin hardly notices. He finally gets irritated and shoves SYB to the mat. SYB pops back to his feet and charges at Spin, but eats a clothesline that nearly takes his head off his shoulders. Spin looks down at SYB in amusement as he whines about his neck being broken (despite him writhing around on the mat). Spin pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a thunderous spine buster. Spin reaches out and tags in Magnusson. Spin pulls SYB to his feet and holds him upright, Magnusson gets a running start and nearly kicks SYB’s head into the seventh row. The camera pans over to AE standing on the apron, he cringes and then shakes his head and laughs. Magnusson pulls SYB to his feet and whips him into the corner and follows him into the corner and buries a knee into his midsection. SYB gasps for breath and staggers out of the corner and drops to his knees. Magnusson measures him and hits the ropes and connects with a shining wizard to the back of the head that sends SYB to the mat face first. Magnusson drops a short knee on the back of SYB’s head, then locks him in the rings of Saturn, digging his elbow into his ribcage. SYB screams in pain but manages to get his foot on the ropes to force the break. SYB slips under the bottom rope and gets to his feet and looks back into the ring and flips Magnusson off Magnusson flinches like he is going to go after SYB and SYB takes off running…and runs right into a power slam from Spin. Spin peels SYB off of the floor and rolls him under the bottom rope. Magnusson pulls SBY up and nails the Dream Street on SYB, then reaches out and tags in Spin, Spin comes in and nails SYB in the sternum with a hard knee, then pounces on him and locks on the WTF and gets the quick submission.
WINNERS in 4:56 – Spin Hansen & DH Magnusson

F. Fonzworth MacCappington III marches into GM the Rick's office to protest.

"I cannot believe you allowed yourself to be bullied into accepting Firechild's demand to decide the stipulation for our match this week. I refuse to take place in the match, as it is booked by a non-registered OOWF official."

"Well, I booked the match, Firechild just chose it, so you HAVE to compete or you'll be fired. As in permanently."

"If that’s how it is, then what's it worth for you to reverse the stipulation, and allow ME to pick the match conditions. I find that riches can be VERY persuasive."

"Firechild offered me up a piece of his soul, a favor, one thing that he HAS to do for me. No money you can offer can beat that....but if you want to make me an offer next week..."

"You are a devious .....what should I say here?"

(Lance whispers in MacCappington's ear.)
"Yer gie taken by the diel, ya muckle corrupt scriverner! - but we'll talk next week."

MacCappington and Lance take their leave as GM the Rick goes back to his important business....

FIREWOMAN vs. RYAN HARDCORE

Firewoman is out first, she paces in the ring eager to get this match underway. Ryan Hardcore comes out next accompanied by Lauren Phoenix. They climb into the ring and we can see Hardcore checking Firewoman out. He makes some lewd gestures and Firewoman feigns flattery, then slowly walks across the ring to Lauren Phoenix and looks her up and down. Fire gives her a seductive look and brushes her hair out of her face, then turns and looks at Ryan, who is grinning like a Cheshire cat. Firewoman reaches out her hand and calls Hardcore over, he struts over and takes her hand, and she pulls him in and nearly decapitates him with a short clothesline! Phoenix bails out of the ring and this one is underway! Firewoman grabs Hardcore’s legs and holds him spread eagle, then drops a knee right into his groin. Hardcore writhes in pain and rolls under the bottom rope and sits on the apron nursing his family jewels. Phoenix comes in for a closer look, and Fire gets a running start inside the ring and lands a drop kick to Hardcore’s back that sends him off the apron and crashing into the guard rail. Fire leaves the ring and follows Hardcore to the outside and rolls him under the ropes, then climbs to the apron to get back into the ring, but Hardcore gets to his feet and guillotines her on the top rope sending Fire crashing to the outside. Hardcore regains his composure inside the ring and waits for Firewoman to get to her feet, then gets a running start and leaps over the top rope and sends her sprawling on the floor. Hardcore gets to his feet and snarls at Fire, then pulls her to her feet and sends her shoulder first into the steel steps. Hardcore follows her in with a running knee to the side of the head. The crowd boos this loudly and Hardcore makes suggestive pelvic thrusts in their general direction. He sends Fire back into the ring and follows her in, covering her for a two count. Hardcore gets to his feet and pulls Fire up and hauls her into a vertical suplex, and reaches up to try and cop a feel, so Fire reverses it and plants him with a DDT. She is PISSED and catches Hardcore in the mouth with a kick, then sends him to the ropes and rebounds herself with a back elbow that catches Hardcore in the mouth and has him spitting out teeth and blood. Fire approaches a dazed Hardcore and he tries to beg off, but Fire will have none of it. She grabs Hardcore by the head and is about to finish him with a knee to the face when he pulls her between the ropes to the floor. Fire hits the floor and gets to her feet quickly, as she does, Phoenix hits her with a weak as hell chair shot. Fire no sells it and turns around and grabs Phoenix by the throat. Hardcore leaves the ring and grabs Fire from behind and plants her on the floor with a Scorpion Drop. Hardcore rolls her back in and climbs to the top rope and hits a money shot, hooks the leg and gets the three count just as Fire kicks out.
WINNER in 6:01 – Ryan Hardcore

DEFENESTRATORS vs. BLITZ & RABBIT

B&R are out first, Firewoman walking with them. Rabbxt is leaning on her a little, still not quite 100%. She helps him into the ring and poses with them til the Defenestrators' music hits. Eco and Volt walk down the ramp, Eco going a bit old school and holding up a "RABBXT SEASON" sign, prompting B&R to slam E&V with planchas! Rabbxt is slower to get up but Blitz keeps the Defenestrators down with stomps. He stands them up and dives clear as Firewoman crossbodies them both BACK to the floor. Barros orders all the men back to the ring and tells Firewoman to have a seat. She kicks Eco a couple of times before finding a spot on the guardrail to sit and watch. By now Rabbxt has recovered and they haul E&V back into the ring. Once they're rolled in B&R sling their opponents into a neutral corner. Rabbxt pins them with a splash and Blitz backflips and tumbles at them, landing short and lunging into a shouldeblocking E&V as Rabbxt falls clear. Rabbit rolls out of the ring and the bell FINALLY rings to start the match. Volt charges out of the corner at Blitz; Eco tries to follow but his foot gets caught. Firewoman is seen casually walking away as Barros tells Eco to get out of the ring. Blitz and Volt circle, Blitz grinning wide. they lock up and Volt goes quickly to an arm wringer. Blitz tumbles out of it and reverses. Volt tumbles and tries to reverse but they end up face to face. They separate and circle again. Lockup, Blitz putting Volt in a headlock, but Volt backsuplexes quickly and rolls clear. Eco is tagged in and is met with a dropsault to the face. Eco is staggered but doesn't quite fall. Blitz stays to the mat and sweeps Eco, then pounces on him to pound his back and swat him with crossfaces. Eco grabs Blitz's legs and stands, trying to get his balance but Blitz won't stop crossfacing him, so Eco runs around teh ring with Blitz "riding" him. Rabbit tags Blitz as they dash by, so when Eco finally gets his balance back and falls on Blitz the pinfall doesn't count. Eco stands to protest and Rabbit ambushes him with a seated senton. Eco chases Rabbit around the ring, but once Eco gets enough distance he hits the middle rope, Asai moonsaults over Eco and runs to the opposite corner and socks Voltage! Volt tries to get in the ring and that distracts Barros so that Rabbit and Blitz can double-team and double dizzy Eco! Rabbit does the loud "Heel tag" clap and hops out of the ring so that Blitz can continue working on the dazed Eco. Blitz shows off for a bit, hitting sever different types of suplexes before landing a bridging Fisherman suplex for a two count. Blitz hauls Eco off the mat and slings him to the ropes, leapfrogging him on the rebound and starting a criss-cross run. Rabbit tags Blitz at one point and he catches Eco on the shoulder with a hurricanrana from the side. Crowd starts chanting "Flippity Shit" and Rabbit obliges- he gets Eco back off the mat, pummels him with kicks to snap him out of his daze and start tumbling around Eco making him flail at the newcomer. Eco stomps over to his corner to tag out when Rabbit catches him in the back in what looked to be back cracker but it turns into a reverse monkey flip, sending Eco airborne as Blitz Catches Eco's legs in midair and SLAMS HIM TO THE MAT WITH A FACE FIRST SITOUT POWERBOMB! Crowd is going nuts at the count which Volt breaks up with a low dropkick to Rabbit. Volt then sidesteps Barros and tries to get to Blitz who hops off the apron to flee, and Blitz is clotheslined out of his boots by Firewoman! Barros doesn't see it and admonishes Volt, who backs toward his corner and trips over Rabbit, who is still trying to get Eco back to his feet. Volt kicks Rabbit in the head and stomps out of the ring. Eco has had time to recover and gets to all fours, seeing Rabbit dazed on the mat. He falls over Rabbit but ONLY A TWO COUNT! Eco gets back to his feet and points to Volt. Crowd cheers so Eco tags him in. Volt climbs the ropes as Eco lands the ENDGAME! Rabbit bounces and lands face up as Volt leaps off with the ELECTROCUTION FOOTSTOMP! Eco dashes to the other side of the ring and crossbodies Blitz to make sure volt covers.
WINNERS in 14:21 - Defenestrators


KNIFE vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY

Knife does his normal entrance and remains bowed in the corner deep in meditation or prayer, whatever it is he does. Seamus McNasty comes to the ring next and stands in the center of the ring with his arms folded across his chest. The bell rings and Knife gets out of his crouch and charges to the center of the ring, and nearly runs into Seamus. Knife looks a little confused, but then nods like he is pleased with the development. The two men slowly circle and Knife gets in a quick kick that catches Seamus in the chest. Now it is Seamus turn to grin and brush the move off. They finally lock up and Knife gets leverage and backs Seamus back into the corner. Knife pulls back setting Seamus up for a chop, but Seamus charges out of the corner and takes Knife to the mat and immediately grabs a leg and locks Knife in a leg lock that twists his knee awkwardly and lets Seamus hammer at Knife’s thigh trying to get it to cramp. Seamus has positioned himself between Knife and the closest ropes, so there is no way he can make it. Knife tries to fight out of it and finally resorts to raking the eyes to force the break. Knife gets to his feet but he is noticeably limping. Seamus is quickly up and he chop blocks Knife back to the mat and locks him in the figure four. Knife howls in pain and works until he can get to the ropes and force the break again. This time Knife slides under the bottom rope and limps around ring side. Seamus leaves the ring and charges at Knife, but Knife sidesteps him and shoves Seamus into the ring post. McNasty hits the floor like a ton of bricks and when he climbs to the apron, his face is a bloody mess. Knife, back in the ring now, grabs Seamus and runs him down the apron into the ring post, sending Seamus sprawling back to the floor. Knife waits in the center of the ring for Seamus to pull himself back to the apron, when he does, Knife charges across the ring and NAILS Seamus with the Hand of God! Seamus slowly falls back off the apron and lands on the floor. Knife celebrates in the center of the ring, but Seamus will not stay down. He pulls himself to the apron again and this time he blocks Knife’s punch attempts and grabs him by the head and slams him in the face with a head but. Seamus climbs between the ropes and catches a reeling Knife and sends him face first into the corner. When Knife staggers out of the corner, Seamus kicks him low and drops him with the Black and Tan. Seamus rolls him over and mounts him and hammers away with punches to the face until he is threatened with disqualification. Seamus is on his feet and lets a groggy Knife get up, then catches him right in the temple with a spinning elbow. As Knife hits the mat, Seamus locks on the Gaelic cloverleaf, pulling him into the center of the ring and gets the submission.
WINNER in 10:54 – Seamus McNasty

Seamus gets to his feet and celebrates for a moment, but as he turns around, Knife NAILS him in the face with a STAB. Seamus falls to the mat and Knife leaves the ring. After a few moments Seamus pulls himself to his feet and watches Knife go up the ramp.

CANADIAN DRAGON vs. CAPELLAN

Collar and elbow tie-up to begin, and the two men tussle their way back and forth across the ring, neither getting a decided advantage. Break, and stare down. Lock-up, and now Dragon uses his height to bear down on Cap, trying to push his shoulders to the match, but Cap bridges to avoid that, then twists, kicks a hand free, and kips up into a hammerlock position. CD slaps his shoulder a couple of times (why DO they do that?), then goes for the reversal and a side-headlock take down. Both men show their MAD CHAIN WRESTLING SKILLZ on the mat for a few minutes, with lots of crisp transitions and reversals. Somewhere, an ROH crowd is applauding. Finally the two men break and stand up. Cap nods to CD as if acknowledging the fine wrestling he's done. CD is all business, and does not return the gesture. Charge from Dragon; deep arm-drag from Cap, then an arm bar, but CD rolls through and delivers a stunning kick to Cap's temple. Cap slumps to the mat, clutching his head. Sensing an opportunity, CD slaps on the Dragon Sleeper! But they're too close to the ropes. Break, but CD stays on the offensive with a series of stomps to Capellan's back. Cap manages to stand and fires back with some chops, but CD catches one, hooks the arm and the knee, and suplexes Capellan onto his head. Cap down, and CD climbs the corner. However, as he gets there, Cap stirs, rising up onto his hands and knees. Cap's not facing in Dragon's direction, so he doesn't see the other man ready himself to leap as he reaches up and grabs the top rope to haul himself to his feet. The sudden lurch of the rope throws CD off balance and he flies off the turnbuckle to CRASH down face-first against the outside barrier. Cap, still in the process of standing, whirls around at the noise, his expression confused. Dragon is limp on the outside. Cap slides out and rolls him over: CD's face is a mask of blood, but at least he moves a little when he's rolled over, indicating that he's not completely KO'd. Cap gets CD's limp form into the ring and covers. The ref drops to count ... then stops as Cap stands up, his expression torn. Mid-ring conference between the Ref -- who broadly gestures "why aren't you making the cover?" -- and Cap, who seems reluctant to win the match because of the other man's injury. The conversation stretches on for a good twenty seconds, and slowly CD's movements become less random, as he gets his bearings after the heavy blow to his head. At last, CD opens his eyes to discover Cap standing with his back to him. Instincts take over, and Dragon nails a quick roll-up out of nowhere! 1! 2! 3! And that's the match!
WINNER BY PINFALL in 7:37 -- Canadian Dragon!

CONCRETE TG vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK

The latest match in the Moosehead Jack, Concrete TG saga is up next. Crete got the better of Moose at the pay per view. Moose comes out first and he still has his shoulder heavily wrapped. Crete is out next and we can still see fresh stitches in his forehead. Crete climbs between the ropes but Moose is no longer slumped in the corner like he normally is. Crete turns around to look and Moose levels him with a clothesline. As Crete is on the mat trying to collect himself Moose sits on Crete and has a mic.

Crete, think about what I said. The chance is there. Vince is drooling at the chance to take you from here. All that is left for you in the OOWF is blood and carnage. Go up north and be an entertainer Crete

Crete nails Moose in the mouth with a straight punch, but Moose takes the mic and jabs Crete right between the eyes, then claws at the stitches trying to pull them from Crete’s forehead. Crete reverses positions, but before he can do anything Moose slithers under the bottom rope. Crete follows Moose to the outside and nails him from behind, sending Moose shoulder first into the guard rail. Moose yells in pain and grabs his shoulder. Crete charges and Moose back drops him over the guard rail into the crowd. Moose hops the railing and slams Crete face first into a chair seat, then sends him over the railing and back into the ring. Crete gets to his knees in the center of the ring and wipes the blood from his eyes, which gives Moose the chance to drop an elbow right between his eyes. Moose pulls Crete to his feet and shoves him into the corner and charges in and hits him with a clothesline, then grabs him and bulldogs him out of the corner. Both men remain down for a moment, after only a few minutes of action, they seem exhausted. Maybe the matches are starting to take a toll on them. Moose finally rolls Crete over and covers but only gets a two count. Moose pulls Crete to a sitting position and drops several knees to his back, then slams him to his back and tries to drop an elbow, but Crete rolls out of the way. Crete gets to his feet and catches Moose with an arm breaker that sends Moose back out of the ring to the floor clutching at his shoulder. Crete grabs a hand full of hair and pulls Moose to the apron and puts Moose in a hammer lock and runs him down the apron to the corner post. Moose falls out of the ring to the floor again, and Crete falls to one knee inside the ring, then gets up and climbs to the top rope. When Moose gets up, Crete leaps and drops a double axe handle on Moose’s injured shoulder. Crete rolls Moose into the ring and Crete follows and locks him in a chickenwing, and once again they get a little too close to the ropes and Moose pushes off, but this time Crete breaks the hold before three. Crete tries to pull Moose up, but Moose explodes up with a European uppercut that snaps Crete’s head backward. Crete staggers and tries to regain his footing, but Moose is up and grabs Crete and hits a heart punch. Crete won’t go down though. Moose tries the ji-endo, but he can’t lock it on with his injured shoulder, and Crete will not go down. Moose lets go and catches Crete with a discus punch to the jaw that really staggers Crete, then kicks him low and plants him with a DDT. Moose grabs Crete’s arm and rolls him over in a mahistrol cradle and before Crete can kick out the referee makes the three count. Moose won with a wrestling move!
WINNER in 10:31 – Moosehead Jack

After the match Moose rolls out of the ring and sits on the apron for a moment before slowly walking to the back. Inside the ring Crete wipes the blood from his head and lies in the ring for a moment before rolling out and making his way to the back slapping hands with the fans on the way to the back.

FIRECHILD vs. F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III – Steel Cage Match, Escape Rules, Weapons are Legal

Firechild enters first, with his Claymore strapped across his back, and a sack full of hardcore goodies in his hand. He gets into the ring and pretends to show the fans at ringside what’s in the sack, but keeps it hidden and drops it in the corner. The referee goes to throw the sack out of the ring, but Firechild gets in the way and shakes his head. MacCappington makes his entry, with Lance in tow, slowly and keeps looking up at the cage hanging ominously above the ring. When he gets to the ringside area, Lance helps him disrobe, and we see that MacCappington is wearing a THICK tee shirt (advertising the Cappinglen International Golf Course) instead of his usual bare chested ring attire. Lance binds up MacCappington's wrists, and hands him a steel chair then backs away as the cage starts to lower. Firechild is talking smack to FFMC3 as the cage comes down, but MacCappington is just looking in fear at the cage coming down. As the cage settles and the referee secures it to the ring, Firechild unslings the Claymore and aims a vicious blow at MacCappington's head as he stares at the cage. However FFMC3 lifts the chair up and blocks the blows, sending the sword tumbling out of Firechild's hands, under the bottom rope and out of the ring. Firechild grabs his wrist in pain, as MacCappington raises the chair, and pastes him square between the eyes with the steel! Firechild goes down, but quickly rolls to his knees only for MacCappington to follow up with another brutal chair shot, that catches Firechild side-on as he tries to evade the blow, opening up a NASTY cut on the side of his head. MacCappington again mocks Firechild with a quick highland jig as he drags himself upright in the turnbuckle. MacCappington measures the groggy Firechild and aims a side on blow at his midriff, doubling him over and then sends him face down onto the mat with another brutal chair shot to the back. MacCappington poses for the crowd, and then starts to climb the cage, but as he gets to the top, Firechild is up and grabs him by the ankle. MacCappington tries to kick Firechild away, but as he falls he gets a good grip of MacCappington's leg and both men tumble into the ring. MacCappington lands awkwardly, and seems to have hurt his leg, and is calling for assistance from Lance who remonstrates with the referee to open the door, as Firechild gets to his feet. Firechild sees MacCappington down, and grins and charges in with a Power Slide, but MacCappington drops to one side, and sends Firechild face first into the steel cage! Firechild hangs there for a second and drops to the mat, as MacCappington stands up and pouts all his weight on his 'injured' leg. MacCappington taps his head, and retrieves his chair, and places it over Firechild's body as he lies slumped under the bottom rope. MacCappington runs across the ring, comes off the far ropes and nails Firechild with a chair-assisted baseball slide that shakes the entire cage. FFMC3 stands up and drags Firechild out from under the bottom rope, and lifts him up. He positions himself over the dropped and much abused steel chair and nails Firechild with a Och-Aye-The-Noo-Fae-Edinboro onto the steel! Firechild spasms then lies still, his blood starting to pool on the mat. MacCappington poses for a second, then starts to climb the cage. As he is about to crest the steel, he catches his leg and as he turns to free himself, he sees Firechild crawling towards the cage. MacCappington is ever more frantic, and can't free himself, as Firechild, his face covered in blood, drags himself up the cage after MacCappington, until they are both hanging from the cage. MacCappington aims a punchy at Firechild, but Firechild just lunges at MacCappington, grabbing him in a Side Effect that sends both men crashing back into the ring. Both men lie on the mat sucking wind for ages, and start to get to their feet. MacCappington is still in better shape and he lays a few heavy blows in on Firechild and grabs him to hit a second Och-Aye-The-Noo-Fae-Edinboro. However, Firechild slips out of the move and summons the strength to drop MacCappington with a desperation DevilDriver! Both men are down, but Firechild has got his second wind and crawls over to the corner and takes a lead pipe out of his bag of hardcore goodies. He lines up a shot on MacCappington as he gets to his feet and nails him RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES. MacCappington staggers and Firechild drops the pipe and launches himself at MacCappington, and takes him down with a Codebreaker in the middle of the ring! Firechild bounces to his feet and hits the 'Jericho' pose as the crowd goes wild! MacCappington seems almost unconscious and Firechild starts to climb, but MacCappington rolls onto his side and is trying to get up as Firechild climbs. Seeing this, Firechild shakes his head and jumps down, and goes back to his bag of hardcore goodies. In fact, he lifts the bag high, and scatters thumb tacks across the ring. The crowd goes nuts at the sight of the tacks, and even more so as Firechild drags MacCappington upright and hooks him for the Wings of the Phoenix. BOOM! Firechild lands the Wings of the Phoenix on MacCappington, driving him face first into the tacks. MacCappington is DEAD. Firechild starts climbing the cage, leaving MacCappington motionless behind him, but as he reaches the top of the cage, and drags himself over, Lance smashes him in the face with the pommel of his discarded Claymore! Firechild hangs there for a second as Lance again measures him and again rams the solid hilt of the long sword into his face, sending him crashing into the tack-strewn mat from the top of the cage. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT rings around the arena, as MacCappington stirs. Lance darts around the ring and convinces the referee to open the door, as MacCappington crawls slowly towards it. Firechild is down but starts to stir as MacCappington reaches the door. MacCappington drags himself upright and is standing in the door, with Lance motioning for him to get down, as Firechild rolls to his feet, clears the cobwebs and dives across the ring. He SPEARS MacCappington through the door and they land on the outside in a heap, with Lance breaking their fall, as the referee calls for the bell and the ring announcer, well announces......
YOUR RESULT in 13:11 is a DRAW

Lance and MacCappington are down, and Firechild had been getting to his feet, but on hearing the announcement, he falls to his knees and stays there until all the men are helped to the back by the EMTS....

DAVIN MORELAND vs. HARDBODY HARRIS – OOWF Onslaught Championship I Quit Match

Hardbody Harris is announced and walks to the ring slapping hands and kissing babies. The most popular man in the OOWF climbs inside the ring and climbs to the top rope and poses for the crowd. The OOWF Onslaught Champion Davin Moreland comes out next, flanked by Run DLP members Phantos & Lucios. Phantos & Lucios remain at the top of the ramp and Moreland marches to the ring. He hands his title to the referee who calls for the bell and immediately goes after Harris. Moreland buries a knee in Harris’ midsection then takes him over with a tilt a whirl suplex and drives several knees into the side of his head. Harris slips out of it and gets to a sitting position and Moreland tries a kick, but Harris avoids it and sweeps Moreland’s legs and takes him to the mat. Hardbody springs to his feet and when Moreland stands up, Harris catches him with a perfect drop kick in the teeth that sends him over the top rope to the floor. Harris plays to the crowd inside the ring, then springs over the top rope trying for a plancha on Moreland but Davin moves out of the way and Harris lands awkwardly on his knee and immediately falls to the floor clutching at it. Moreland quickly moves in for the kill grabbing Harris leg and kicking away at the knee, then slamming it into the steel ring steps. Moreland hauls Harris up and rolls him into the ring. Hardbody tries to get to his feet, and can only put weight on one leg, so naturally Moreland kicks that good leg out from under him sending Harris crashing to the mat. Davin grabs the injured leg and drops several elbows across the inside of his knee, then drapes Harris’ leg on the bottom rope and crashes down on his knee with all his weight. Harris howls in pain. Davin drags Harris to the corner and posts him, then slips out of the ring and slams his leg against the steel repeatedly, then locks on the figure four around the ring post. It’s all legal folks. Harris cannot force a break, and can no longer stand the pain. To save his leg from being snapped, he tells the referee he quits.
WINNER in 9:11 – Davin Moreland

Moreland releases the hold and grabs his title and holds it up to the crowd and gets a mixed reaction. Phantos and Lucios come to ringside to congratulate him, when we hear some vaguely familiar music play and someone walks out to the top of the ramp…..IT’S ERIC O’MAC! After a moment of cheers from the crowd, Eric speaks:

E:Are you kidding me? This is what we're featuring in the OOWF today?

I realize that I've never met you Moreland, so allow me to introduce myself. These fans and others in the back know me as EricOMac - you can call me "The E".

Let me give you just a bit of background information Moreland. Before you dreamed of being a superstar in the OOWF, I ran things around here. I was the be all, end all when it came to wrestling. I was wrestling. In fact, that precious little Onslaught belt that you are currently defacing used to be held in high regards back when I was the greatest Onslaught Champion - forced out of my great reign by an idiotic decision to re-locate me to another division. So, I happen to know a thing or two when it comes to what you pretend to be good at.

But see, I left the business for a year because I was bored. I thought I needed to find myself, I thought I needed to be recharged. So, one night, sitting at home, I flipped on my television, and I realized that I didn't need to be recharged, and I didn't need to find myself. No, no, as I flipped on that Monday Night wrestling program, and saw matches featuring multiple chin locks, tag team champions being squashed in handicap matches, and DQ finishes in main events, I realized that it wasn't me that needed changing. No, no, no, it wasn't me, it was this entire damn company.

The OOWF is just boring. Hell, I near about fell asleep watching these matchups because they aren't entertaining enough.

And that is where I come in. The E.

You may think the E stands for "Eric," and while it may stand for that, it also stands for ENTERTAINMENT. I'm here to suck out all of the boredom from the OOWF, and make this company more Entertaining.

That's why I start here - with a 15 minute promo! We all know that long promos are better than your craptastic matches Moreland!

These fans boo me, Moreland, make no doubt about it. It's only because they've been brainwashed by this company. It's only because they've been programmed to watch. They watch because it's a habit. They think entertainment is matches featuring nobodies like yourself. But the thing is, just like yourself, Davin, these fans wouldn't know Entertainment if it bit them in the ass.

I know the Onslaught Title was created in the light of wrestling being the main aspect. Just as I saved the Onslaught Title from becoming a midcard title, I will once again save the Onslaught title - this time from boredom. You bore me Davin Moreland. You're not entertaining me. So while I am here to make this company an entertaining counterpart to the wrestling programming on Monday night, I am starting with you, and starting with the title I made famous.

So Moreland, watch your back. And let the future 100% entertaining asskicking that you receive be a message for the rest of the OOWF - the title of the marquee no longer says "WRESTLING" Because of me, The E, it now says "ENTERTAINMENT."

With that in mind, for the first time in about a year and a half....WELCOME TO MAYHEM IS ENTERTAINMENT!

See you soon, Junior.

LOS DEFENESTRATORS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

Ecosistema and Lucios start out, and Eco can't get anywhere with the bigger Lucios. Lucios tosses him into a neutral corner and slugs away. Eco to the eyes, but walks into a big boot. Eco sells it like a champ and crawls over to tag out. Voltaje in and immediately gets clothes lined down. Tag to Phantos and he sweeps Volt down. Springboard leg drop gets two. Tag back to Lucios and some double team work puts Volt back down. Avalanche in the corner and Volt with a Flair Flop. Tag back out and P&L with a double suplex. Snap suplex gets two. Delayed vertical suplex gets two. DDT and Eco breaks that cover up. Phantos with a hip toss, but Volt manages to arm drag Phantos thru it. Backdrop and tag to Eco. Eco in with a somersault leg drop and a sucker punch to Lucios. That draws Lucios in, and allows for some Los Def double teaming. Slap hands false tag and Volt's back in. Los Def with the old abdominal stretch with the assistance from the partner, but referee Hale catches Eco red-handed and kicks him away, allowing Phantos to cradle Volt for two. Volt catapults Phantos to the corner, and Phantos forearms Eco off the apron. But Volt catches him on the rebound and power slams him for two. Volt drags him up but pauses for too long and Phantos nails him with an inverted atomic drop. Phantos for the tag, but Eco slides in and grabs his foot. Enziguri takes him down though, and it's hot tag Lucios. Lucios nails everything with masks and clotheslines Eco over the top and to the floor. Volt nails him from behind and drives him into the turnbuckle. Jumping round kick to the face puts him down, but a springboard moonsault eats canvas. Eco in, but Phantos cuts him off at the pass with a super kick. Volt to the apron and sunset flips in for the pin, but Phantos dropkicks him in the face in a stiff spot to break it up. Eco back in with a chair, but Lucios nails him before he can even get in the ring. Phantos grabs the chair and ponders using it, but sets it back down and goes to the top. Rocket Launcher connects! One, two, but Eco makes the save. Eco grabs the chair, but Lucios grabs him from behind and goes to ram him into the turnbuckle, but Eco's face goes right off the chair!! Eco falls straight back and Lucios makes the cover. But the ref calls for the bell for using the chair!! Crowd boos the shit out of that decision.
WINNERS by DQ at 10:58: LOS DEFENESTRATORS

OUTBACK JACK vs. CHRIS ALT – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Chris Alt makes his entrance first, followed by Outback Jack. Jack hands the Intercontinental title to referee Sterling Glaw, and the combatants shake hands before circling and locking up. Alt snaps off an arm drag. He tries for a second one but Jack blocks, so Alt transitions to an arm bar. Alt elbows the shoulder several times, then places his against the joint and drives Jack face first into the mat. After a few knees to the shoulder, Alt twists Jack’s arm into a chickenwing. Jack struggles, and manages to throw Alt off, getting to his feet and trying to shake the life back into his arm. They lock up again and Jack grabs a headlock. Alt shoots him off, drops to the mat as he comes back, and catches him with a dropkick on the next pass. Jack rolls to his feet and Alt backs him to the ropes and whips him across the ring. Alt tries for a power slam, but Jack steamrolls into him, driving him to the mat. Jack pulls Alt up and shoves him into the corner. He hits a chop and Alt responds in kind. Jack gets the better of the duel and Irish whips Alt across the ring, following him in. Alt dodges, and Jack hits the corner hard. He stumbles back, and Alt rolls him up for a two count. Jack kicks out and Alt hits the ropes, dropkicking him in the face and covering for another two. Alt takes Jack over with a snap suplex, then drops a leg across his throat. Alt goes back to work on the injured arm, pulling Jack off the mat and winding it up with an arm wringer. He applies pressure and forces Jack to one knee. With a roar, Jack throws him off. Alt hits the ropes, and Jack plants him with a one armed spine buster. Jack rolls into a cover and gets two. Jack pulls Alt up and goes for a DDT but he blocks, hammering Jack in the midsection with a series of rabbit punches. Alt shoves Jack back a step, then steps forward and goes for an Uranage. Jack blocks, and drives a series of elbows into Alt’s head. Jack hooks Alt around the throat and drives him back, slamming Alt’s back across his knee. Jack covers, and Alt kicks out just before three. Both men get to their feet, and Alt launches himself at Jack with a double leg takedown. He stomps on Jack, then grabs the injured arm, kicking it several times before lifting Jack to a sitting position and tying up the arm to hyper-extend the shoulder. Jack manages to work his way to his feet and pulls Alt around into a short arm clothesline. Jack drops to one knee as Alt goes down, but is up first and hits the ropes as Alt gets to his feet. Jack goes for the Boomerang, but Alt senses it coming and turns. He catches Jacks arm, and the momentum spins both men in a 360. During the rotation, Alt manages to latch on a cross-arm breaker, driving Jack to the mat. Jack struggles, but can’t break free, and has to keep rolling a shoulder to avoid being pinned. With a roar, Jack levers himself over, and rolls Alt up. Alt releases the hold and tries to kick out, but can’t shift Jack’s weight in time.
WINNER and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion, in 14:36, Outback Jack.

STANK vs. LD WILLIAMS vs. DONOVAN VIPER – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

the three men make their entrances with the world champion coming to the ring last. Stank hands his title to the referee and Barros holds the title high for everyone to see. When Stank turns to face his opponents Viper and Williams charge across the ring and take him down with a double clothesline. Before Williams can do anything , Viper turns and clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. Viper turns back to Stank and drives an elbow into the side of his neck sending him to the mat. Viper rolls Stank over and tries to lock on the anaconda vice but Stank keeps blocking it, so Viper just hammers him in the face with pounding forearms. LD Williams climbs back into the ring and pulls Viper off of Stank by his hair and shoves him into the corner and blisters him with stiff chops. Williams rocks Viper with a couple of European uppercuts, then sees that Stank is on his feet but still doubled over in pain. Williams whips Viper out of the corner and sends him slamming into Stank. Viper’s shoulder slams into Stank’s ribs and the big man falls to the canvas. Viper staggers and Williams grabs him and shoots him between the ropes to the floor. Williams hits the ropes and drives his knee into Stank’s ribs, then lands a barrage of stiff kicks. Donovan Viper is quickly back into the ring and he grabs Williams and spins him around so the two men are now facing one another. The argument begins and Viper shoves Williams, so Williams shoves him back. Before it can come to full blows, Stank gets back to his feet and charges clothes lining them both over the top rope, but both men land on the apron. Stank charges to knock them off the apron, but they low bridge him and Stank tumbles to the floor. Now Williams and Viper are trading punches on the apron. Viper rakes the eyes and grabs Williams for a sidewinder, but when he drops Williams holds on to the top rope and Viper hits the canvas and falls to the floor. LD gets back to his feet and sees Stank just getting to his feet, so he leaps aiming an elbow for Stank’s head, but Stank catches him and reverses it into a thunderous spine buster on the floor. Stank climbs on the apron and when the referee is not looking Viper grabs a chair and charges and slams it right into Stank’s ribs. Stank falls back to the floor gasping for breath. Viper raises the chair over his head to deliver the finishing blow and Williams charges and spears him nearly out of his boots. The two of them roll around the ring trading shots to the head and gouging each other. Meanwhile Stank pulls himself to his feet and under the bottom rope just in time to beat the ten count.
WINNER in 11:59 – Stank

Stank gets to his feet and the referee raises his arm in victory and Stank immediately winces and drops to his knees in pain clutching at his ribs. On the outside security separates Viper and Williams but not before both of them see the wounded world champion slump to the mat.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF New Years Evil III Pay Per View! Live December 30th From Makakilo City, Hawaii! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! December 5th from Haiku, Hawaii!

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts

This has been an OOWF production, produced by the LD-Tar-Jack-Fire-Crete-Cap Production Company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.

[Edited on 11-29-2007 by mooseheadjack]