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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 15:18:13 GMT -5
OOWF Dance of Death IV
Live! From Hell, Michigan
OOWF World Heavyweight Title 60-Minute Iron Man Dance of Death[/u]
Stank vs. LD Williams vs. Canadian Dragon vs. Capellan
OOWF Intercontinental Title Dance of Death[/u]
Donovan Viper vs. Outback Jack vs. Knife vs. Ryan Hardcore
OOWF World Tag Team Title Dance of Death[/u]
Defenestrators vs. Apocalyptic Bastards vs. F. Fonzworth MacCappington & Firechild vs. Mystery Team
OOWF Onslaught Championship I-Quit Dance of Death[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Eric O'Mac vs. Chris Cole vs. Alexander Darling
Best of Seven Series:
Match 5:Tables Match
Match 6: Streetfight*
Match 7: Ladder Match*
Phantos & Lucios vs. DH Magnusson & Spin Hansen
Triple Threat TLC Match[/u]
Dead Drunk vs. Team RabbxtFire vs. The Nerve Agent & Blitz
* If necessary
Card subject to the voices of the people under the stairs
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:29:51 GMT -5
Phantos is online reading the PPV Lineup at OnlineOnslaught.com on his Sony Vaio laptop
Phantos: ...Defenstrators.. AB... Firechild and MacCappington... Mystery Team? Who the heck could that be? Hey Luc, check this out!
Lucios: (reading over Phantos' shoulder) Hmm.. Mystery opponents. Makes things hard to plan for.
Phantos: Who could it be? New debuting team? or some returning veterans? maybe just a couple of jobbers? Those jobbers have gotten lots of run here lately.
Lucios: Who cares.... though if it IS a returning team, I know who I'd like to see come back.. HEY! What are you doing? We cant be Promoing in the PPV thread yet!
Phantos: We did before without reprocussion.
Lucios: Without reprocussions? We LOST! Damn it Phantos log off that thing right now before I kill yo..
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:30:20 GMT -5
We are well after the ppv, Knife is limping down a dimly lit hallway, heavily bandaged, with his head down. He hears a voice and stops, not even bothering to look up>
.....you failed
K: My mission is not complete, it is my divine right to.....
V: That is your problem, you believe you have a divine right to something. You losing ways show me that you are clearly not the chosen one. You have simply become a pawn in HIS game
K: I..........
V: I offer my help. You have simply become misguided
<Seraph steps out of the shadows, Knife looks at him in shock and falls to his knees>
K: What happened? I was on the right path! I was doing His work! I was destroying those who sinned before me!
S: At some point, you became the sinner, and your punishment was no longer just. I can help you, come with us if you want
K:.........yes
S: You know what has to be done
<Knife stands and strips off his gear and leaves them folded neatly on a crate in the back. Nayr appears and wraps Knife in a white sheet. Somehow the lights in the hallway get noticeably brighter, to the point where Knife has to shield his eyes>
S: It is time, come Knife
<Seraph, Knife and Nayr all leave, Stank rounds the corner and sees them, Knife and Nayr continue on, Seraph stops and slowly turns his ghostly face to Stank and looks at the title. The hallway goes dark and we hear what sounds like scores of people whispering. Seraph slowly looks away>
S: It's not time yet.
<The whispering stops and the lights return to normal and Seraph walks out of the building leaving Stank looking more than a bit creeped out>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:30:44 GMT -5
It is after Mayhem. OOWF personnel are packing their stuff to go. As NinjaCam 3000 wanders the halls, there is a disturbance that draws its attention. The camera stops outside Firewoman's locker Room, where the sounds of the destruction of furniture come through the door, and a string of profanity that would make Moose blush can be occassionally heard. While the microphone can't make them all out, some phrases can be heard, although not all are suitable for TV... Freakin' Dusty Rhodes booking this shit or what? Another DQ?  *smash* *crash* NOW he wants to have coffee talk..... *bang* What the fuck were you thinking...a CHAIR?? The noises of destruction continue as the door opens and Rabbxt comes out quickly. Dude...you SO don't want to go in there right now. |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:31:05 GMT -5
Old School Single Person Promo
Chris Cole: This weekend is the Dance of Death. The OOWF is going to deliver one hell of a show. A 60 minute Iron Man for the OOWF World Title will be awesome. A Triple Threat TLC Match will be electric. A Best of Seven will close. But perhaps the match that will steal the show will be the Onslaught Championship Dance of Death. Davin Moreland has only lost three times this season. He has been a fighting champion. He is a star on the rise that will one day go on to challenge for World Titles. You have two returning stars in me and The E who have not tasted defeat since their return. And you have a new talent who is also sitting with a record unblemished. The match will be fantastic. But the best part of it all is that it is an I Quit Match.
Why am I so excited? Well I’m excited because I know I will be the next OOWF Onslaught Champion. This was never a lifelong dream of mine. But I will still enjoy the gold around my waist. Davin, we’ve had our differences but trust me when I say that me winning this title isn’t because I’ve always been gunning for it. I’ll even promise you a one on one rematch after I win it. No Davin, I’m not in the match to win the title that is just a by product of my goal. That goal is to teach a young, brash, spoiled brat what it really means to be an OOWF Superstar.
Alexander Darling, you made your mistake when you and your cronies attacked me unprovoked. I get your game. You are young and want to make a name for yourself so you attack the Greatest OOWF World Champion this company ever had. But the reality is, Alex, that you are just a Chris Cole wannabe. Your little stable DEA wishes it was 3 Piece Set. You should have started with smaller prey, Alex. The reason I know I’m going to win at Dance of Death is because I’m going to make you quit, Alex. First you will bleed. Then you will cry. Then Alex you....... will............. QUIT.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:31:29 GMT -5
*Blitz and The Nerve Agent are leaving their luxurious locker-room, when SFJ#30 pops up.*
SFJ#30: The 2 of you will be a part of the TLC Triangle tag team match at Dance of Death. What do you have to say to your opponents?
B: It’s been almost 2 months of this DeGrassi business. RabbxtFire and Team Dead Drunk have continuously found a way to make us lose. And when we do manage to win, it’s by disqualification, and they are all happy to beat us up after the match is finished. You’ve been screwing with us too long. For some reason we weren’t giving 100%, but we proved at New Years Evil, that when it really matters, in a one-on-one situation, when it’s just us and you, we can beat you. That is what we will do again tonight.
TNA: But that wasn’t one-on-one. It was two-on-two-on-two. And it was in a steel cage.
B: Stop messing up my argument. You know what I mean.
SFJ#30: Which brings me to my next question: Why weren’t you giving 100%?
B: We were way too obsessed with video games and porn. We underestimated our opponents. But that is about to change. Tonight, we will be preparing for our match, not playing Call of Duty 4. And that means hitting the gym. Now if you’ll excuse me and my tag team partner, we have some real training to do.
*Blitz and The Nerve Agent walk down the hallway, and SFJ#30 searches for other fish to fry.*
TNA: You know, I’m worried about our match tonight. What if all the heels team together to take the 2 of us out first, and then fight it out amongst themselves?
B: As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing to be worried about. Those guys all hate each other. They refused to be allies before, so why would they be allies now?
TNA: And the DEA? Don’t you think there is a reason that Team RabbxtFire aligned themselves with Alexander Darling after both of them said they despised him?
B: Money?
TNA: No, they want his help in our TLC match tonight. They’re just pretending to be in it for the money, they want his protection!
B: Now you’re just being paranoid, OK? Just relax. What is up with you today?
TNA: To be honest, I think it’s the thought of having to stop playing videogames. It’s freaking me out.
B: We’ll still be playing videogames for a long time; we just need to get focused on our match right now. Now I know it’s tough, but we need to beat their sorry asses before we play Call of Duty 4 again. And that means training. Just think of all the flippy shit we’ll be able to do in that match! We can do a stereo 900 off the ladder.
TNA: I told you man, we’ll land on our heads if we tried that.
B: Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that minor problem. But weren’t you saying just last week that we needed to stop playing video games, and focus on our match? Now we’re doing it, and you still aren’t happy.
TNA: Call of Duty 4 is just plain awesome.
*They arrive at the gym for their first work-out in weeks.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:31:48 GMT -5
Backstage, Capellan has a steel chair in his hands.
"Stank, another chair shot is not something you need to worry about this weekend. Well, not from me, anyway. But you do need to worry about ME. For too long, you've been acting like this title match comes down to you and LD. Well, there are going to be four men in that ring. And we ALL have what it takes to hold that title."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:32:06 GMT -5
**Rabbxt is seen running down a hallway, away from Firewoman's Locker Room.**
Rabbxt: Man, I don't know what the fuck she's so mad about. If I didn't break up the pin, we would've lost by pinfall. At least we lost by DQ. This can't count as a complete victory for Nerve and Blitz. And Fire, Dusty ain't booking this shit. I was in charge of this particular match and I'm the one who...
**Kayfabe jolts down the hallway and tries to break Rabbxt before Rabbxt can break him. Rabbxt side-steps a tackle.**
Rabbxt: Relax, man. I was just saying that I'm the one who decided that the DQ would go down. I won't break you, Kayfabe. You're what makes wrestling great.
**Kayfabe apologizes for the misunderstanding and disappears.**
Rabbxt: Now, where was I? Oh, yea. Fire. How else would we get a Triangle TLC match at the PPV? The only reason we had a Cage match at the last PPV was because everyone kept interfering in everyone else's matches. This time around, I used the chair to break up the pin and cause the DQ, then used the ladder to jump from and the tables to crash through. Well, not through, but onto. Fuckers didn't break. I'm pretty banged up. But that ain't the point! I can deal with pain! I did all of this for a reason, Fire. I don't want you to be mad at me for it. Personally, I'm just in love with stipulation matches. A Triangle TLC adds so much more to this feud than a regular match. And I know that you agree with me on that one. Think of the rad spots I can pull off in this match. Think of the tight ass shit that we can do as a team out there. Team RabbxtFire. That's who I did this for, Fire. It wasn't being selfish, it wasn't all for myself. I hope you can forgive me, Fire. I'm sorry if you think what I did out there was wrong. I'll obey your orders from this point forward. Just please, don't be mad at me... And Dead Drunk, you got lucky out there with those steel chair shots to me and my partner. It seems to me that you've got more fight in you than Nerve and Blitz do. But that won't help come the Triangle TLC. Team RabbxtFire is taking the win, for sure.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:32:33 GMT -5
[The Dead is sitting in his locker room when there is a knock at the door.]
Seamus: It's me.
Dead: Come in.
[Seamus sits and notices The Dead pounding a fist into his other hand.]
Seamus: Everything ok?
Dead: Yeah, great. Or at least it will be on Sunday.
Seamus: Ah yes, the TLC match. I can wait to throw bunny boy and those other Degrassi punks around like rag dolls.
Dead: No shit, you're almost twice as big as Rodent.
Seamus: And you?
Dead: It seems those jobbers failed to look at footage from when The Dead was destroying people in bingo halls and dank basements in the backwater 'burbs of this country.
Seamus: The hell does that mean?
Dead: It means The Dead is no stranger to high flying, death defying, high impact wrestling.
Seamus: I see, so you're sayin' ya can more than hold yer own with those flippy bastards, right?
Dead: Exactly. The Dead thinks those punks will be in for one hell of a surprise on Sunday.
Seamus: And what about Moosehead Jack?
Dead: The Dead assures you that everything will play out the way it's supposed to.
Seamus: Eh, alright then. I'm off.
[Seamus starts to head out the door.]
Dead: One more thing.
Seamus: What?
Dead: Watch out for that Darling guy.
Seamus: Not that he worries me, but why would ya say that?
Dead: The Dead can't explain it, but he has a feeling that Darling isn't too happy at the moment and could snap, probably sometime in the next 6 hours.
[The Dead looks directly in the camera.]
Seamus: Eh, whatever you say. I'll see ya around later.
[Seamus walks out as The Dead continues to plan his next move.}
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:33:13 GMT -5
[Shot opens with a close up of a mesh trash can on a street corner with assorted newspapers sitting on top of the heap. We see a hand reach down into the can and grab one of the papers and pull it out. Shot slowly pans up and we see the paper covering the person's face, but we hear a familiar voice read one line from the paper...]
[The person flips the paper down and we see it's none other than Johnny Adrenaline, sporting a 5:00 shadow from hell, looking like he hasn't bathed in a week.]
JA: Interesting... [looks around] Guess I should make a phone call.
[Johnny turns around and looks for someone to borrow a cell phone from. He grabs a Cuban looking dude.]
JA: Hey man, you got a phone I can borrow?
Cuban Looking Dude: No telefono.
JA: Shit... there a pay phone around here somewhere?
[Cuban Looking Dude points across the street.]
JA: Gracias amigo.
[Johnny begins across the street, but turns back around to Cuban Looking Dude.]
JA: You got some change, man?
[Cuban Looking Dude rolls his eyes and begins to check his pockets as we fade to black.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:33:38 GMT -5
[As The Nerves Agent and Blitz are taking a break from rigorous training, they see Rabbxt's and the Dead's promo.]
TNA: So, Rabbxt thinks that Dead Drunk have more fight then us? And The Dead thinks he can hold his own against you and I in a TLC match?
Blitz: That's what it looks like to me.
TNA: That's just funny. In my opinion, you and I have more fight in us then Dead Drunk and RabbxtFire combined.
Blitz: Hey, why don't we have a team name like that?
TNA: Hmm..I don't have any clue.
Blitz: Well that sucks, we are totally the best of these three teams and we don't even have a name.
TNA: Yeah, that's true.
Blitz: Hmph..
TNA: Well anyway...
Blitz: ....Oh yeah, right. We are totally going to win that TLC match.
TNA: No doubt about it.
Blitz: Yeah..
TNA: Okay back to training.
Blitz: I call trampoline first!
TNA: Fuck!
[The Nerve Agent and Blitz continue their rigorous training for their upcoming match.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:34:05 GMT -5
*We open in the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina where Davin Moreland is WATCHING TAPE and TAKING NOTES! Phantos and Lucios come back with bags from Ric's Sandwich Shop
P:...but WHY is he elbow-dropping a head of lettuce?
L: Sometimes...he just gets a little too...excited.
P: Man, it's weird. *a surprisingly good Ric Flair voice* WHOOO! B-L-T on BAH GAWD RYE!*
L: I...didn't know you could do that.
P: There's a lot you don't know about me.
L: I feel like we've had this conversation before.
P: Only about twenty million times.
L: Hey Davin.
DM: Shh...
L: Are you watching...TAPE?
DM: Yeah. I'm watching tape.
P: Are you taking...NOTES??
DM: Yes, dammit I'm taking notes. *pauses the tape* And now I'm NOT taking notes and I'm NOT watching tape because you've interrupted me. Guys, I don't have time to fuck around this week. It's a short week, and in case you hadn't noticed, I'm in a 4-way clusterfuck with 2 former Champs and one giant pain in the ass.
L: I hate clusterbombs.
DM: Clusterfucks.
L: Clusterbombs.
DM: FUCKS
L: Bombs.
DM: Bombs.
L: That's right.
DM: You have a minute. I think I found something *points* right here. See how he telegraphs that takeover?
L: Well, yeah, but how else do you set up for it?
DM: *stands up and assumes a position* Like this.
P: Like THAT?
L: Really?
DM: Yeah. Why?
L: You're lucky you haven't broken your back.
P: Or someone else's. Who taught you that?
DM: Grrr....Fucking Cena...
L: For your sake, Kenny Dykstra's probably the most fundamentally sound guy you know.
DM: Except you guys.
P: HELLLLZ YEAH!!!
L: You're so weird.
P: I know you are but what am I?
L: Really?
DM: Well, do you have a few minutes to help me break this down, Luc?
L: Yeah. *points* That's what's left of Darling's nose.
DM: Funny. Are you gonna help, or not?
L: Yeah. Hey listen, you want to go to Level 3 with the Security System?
DM: Wait...Why? We having a Hurricane or something?
P: *stands on the couch, and uses his cape* Stand Back! There's a Hurricane Coming Through! *He does "the pose", jumps off the couch and starts humming "Hurricane's" theme song*
DM: Wow.
L: Yeah. He does this all the time now. It's like he just remembered he had a cape.
DM: So, anyway, you were saying...
L: Well, Rumor has it your buddy from DEA is going to be seeking some hallway fisticuffs in the next 5 hours or so...
DM: Hmm. Am I supposed to be scared of him?
L: No; but I think you exceeded your quota of backstage attacks for the week.
DM: Plus I should probably prepare for a match or something?
L: For the Clusterbomb
DM: The Clusterfuck.
L: You're NOT gonna get me to say it.
DM: At least not on camera.
L: You're acting like Phantos.
DM: No wonder he has such a good time.
L: We could all use some seclusion the next couple days. We've got some serious stuff to deal with.
DM: Shit.
L: Stuff.
DM: Ok, you're right. Where's my phone?
*Davin looks for and grabs his Sprint PCS phone, and dials a number*
DM: Yeah hi. Moreland 6,2,Niner.
L: Niner?
DM: Yeah, Level 3 asap. Ok. thanks. *he hangs up*
L: Niner?
DM: Oh shut up. Let's watch tape.
P: *running into the room* STAND BACK! THERES A HURRICANE RUNNING THROUGH!!!
L: Wow.
DM: I know.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:34:28 GMT -5
*Fade in to The E watching a monitor of Davin Moreland's promo.*
E: Man, what a pussy. Can dish it out, but can't take it. How the fuck did this guy become Onslaught Champion again?
*The E takes out a cell phone and dials a number*
E: Yeah, he's got his fucking security up to "Level 3." ....Yeah, I think he's being a pussy too....No, it's not toally unrealistic for someone to break into Level 3 no matter how sophisticated the system....Just a heads up.
*Fade out.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:34:50 GMT -5
We’re within the walls of the OOWF Arena as it magically transports from Mt. Gay, bah gawd West Virginia to Hell, Michigan. In a scene we’ve become quite accustomed to Alexander is sitting in The DEA Luxury Suite holding a bloody towel to his face. But this time instead of him throwing shit around the room and causing massive damage to his suite, he’s sitting on the couch and you can see the rage bubbling just beneath the surface. Behind him we see Alexis Darling leading the current flavors of the week out and shooing them away. She stands just behind her brother for a moment before walking around and taking a seat in front of him.
Alexis Darling: Alex…Alexander, what’s going on in that head of yours?
Alexander just gives her a look and continues to stare straight ahead. He does this for a few moments before he takes the towel away from his face and looks at it. We can see just how much damage his face has taken in the last few weeks, but the thing that’s most noticeable, beyond the broken nose, is how dead his eyes seem.
Alexis: Okay, you’re really scaring me now. The last time you were like this was Japan and as great things went down there at the end, it worries me just what you’re planning on. We haven’t even been here a full month and there are way more important things that we have planned than Moreland and his stupid bullshit.
Alexander finally stands up, takes one final look at the towel and throws it into the corner of the room. He walks around to his bag of goodies and begins to look through it. Alexis is about to follow him and continue talking to him when her phone rings. Hearing only one side of the conversation gives us the following:
Alexis: Hello, who is this?
What the hell…I’m really beginning to hate him.
I think there are things we can do to get around it.
We appreciate the call.
It was good talking to you. Remember the offer is still on the table. For your friends too.
Yo, Alex…would you stop for one second.
Alexander turns to his sister and looks at her waiting for her to speak. When she realizes that her brother has gone mute today, she tells him the news.
Alexis: It looks like Davin’s upping his security in the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina. Something about a Level 3 system. I don’t know what you have planned, but why don’t you calm down and let me look into things. See what we can do about it.
Alexander gives her one of the nastiest smiles ever seen.
Alexander Darling: You look into things your way, I’ll look into them my own way. Besides, I have my own methods of security.
Alexander picks up his bag and shows her a few things, including a titanium golf club and a sledgehammer with a bow.
Alexis: Why the hell do you have a sledgehammer with a bow on it?
Alexander: A present from a friend. He even signed it. Just hoping I don’t ruin it too much.
Alexis: I know I shouldn’t bother saying it, but be careful. I know I can’t stop you from doing whatever you’re about to do, but remember our goals.
Alexander: Trust…well, you know.
Alexis just nods as Alexander steps out the door with his bag. We stay with her for a moment to see her follow her brother to the door and lock it. We see her pick up a phone as well.
Alexis: Hello father. I need a favor.
Can you send the jet to Mexico?
We have an important client that we’re trying to do business with.
No one you know father.
We’re handling things fine.
Yes I’ll tell him.
Why would you bring him up?
I gotta go. Just send the jet.
Thanks. Goodbye Father.
*Fade out of the locker room*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:35:18 GMT -5
Seamus is sitting in the corner by some storage boxes, talking on the phone
Seamus: "Yeah it's all good. I can't wait until the pay-per-view, I'm so sick of the high school drama going on around here...somehow I'm lumped into the noobs horseshit...hopefully it ends this week."
muffled voice on phone
Seamus: "Fuck I don't know, same soap opera monkey writers you dealt with every week"
voice on phone
Seamus: " Well, you gotta eat so I put up with it...it's still better than before, you know what's weird is I'm starting to like this Dead guy...he's a tough bastard, good head on his shoulders...good energy, he kind of reminds me of you back in the day"
voice on phone
Seamus: " So what happened with your dvd package?...naaa not really, I talked to Trips around the holiday but I don't talk to any of them...I want to call Ric but I never take the time..."
voice on phone
Seamus: " Yeah, first I turn around and see that Firebitch is here and now Damon shows up...I can't seem to run far enough away from my past..."
voice on phone
Seamus: " Well at least Damon might come in handy...Firebitch is nothing but pain and suffering..."
voice on phone
Seamus: "Moosehead is interesting, I think I trust him...I like what I've seen so far, but you never know"
voice on phone
Seamus: " Yeah I should go find The Dead so we can workout...alright Steve'O...I'll see you dude"
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:35:42 GMT -5
*Fade into the backstage hallways*
Alexander is walking, yes I said WALKING, through the OOWF Hallways when he sees two wrestlers conferring near the catering table. Alexander slows down for a moment before reaching into his bag and pulling out a lead pipe. As he gets closer to the two guys we see that it’s Predator and Shashwat Mishra commiserating about their recent losses. Predator notices Darling approaching first, but before he can warn Mishra the lead pipe has already smacked Shashwat’s kneecap. We hear a sickening thud before Predator jumps in to help. Without a seconds hesitation Darling drops the lead pipe and hits a release over-the-top belly-to-belly suplex and Predator crashes through the table.
Alexander quickly follows up on Predator as Mishra is having a hard time even standing. Darling stands above Predator in the wreckage of the buffet table and drags him up to his feet and without even a moment’s hesitation picks up Predator for the Crucifix Bomb. But instead of slamming him into the ground he throws right into the cement wall. There’s a crack as Predator’s head slams against the wall and he crumples to the ground as blood starts pooling around him. But Darling isn’t quite done here. He walks over to Shashwat Mishra who is barely standing on one leg now. That doesn’t last long as Darling goes low and chop blocks his healthy leg from behind.
With Mishra’s legs being taken out, Darling takes his time before picking him up. He throws a few kicks into Mishra’s midsection before picking him and placing him against the wall. Darling takes a few steps away from Mishra before turning and sprinting back towards him and hitting a Yakuza Kick right to Mishra’s face. We hear the crunch and blood flies from the now broken-nose.
Alexander Darling: Fucking hurts, doesn’t it? The way the blood pours from a freshly broken-nose is disgusting, isn’t it? You almost wonder how the body can lose so much blood so quickly. Lucky for you, you’re not going to wonder long.
Alexander picks up Mishra from the floor and quickly places him up on his shoulders in the Torture Rack position. He wraps Shashwat’s own hand around his throat and for the love of Christ hits the fucking Darling Driver right on the cement floor. Another thud, another man down, and two men left lying by Alexander Darling.
Alexander: Don’t fucking go anywhere camera man. We’re so not done yet. This is just the start. Follow me, my next target is right around the corner.
Alexander heads down the hallway making sure to pick up his bag and lead pipe first. Before turning the corner, he takes a peek to make sure the coast is clear. It is and Darling turns the corner. He comes up to a door and he knocks on it. He’s blocking the placard with the name on it though.
Unknown Voice: Come in, we’re in the middle of Call of Duty 4.
Alexander shakes his head at their naiveté and reaches back into his bag to pull out two items. He pulls out a brick and his barbed-wire bat. As soon as Darling steps into the room he tosses the brick at the first person he sees. It’s Blitz and the brick hits him in the shoulder. Darling stands in the doorway holding the bat just out of sight waiting for Blitz and Nerve Agent to make a move. Nerve is closer to the door and makes a charge towards Alexander. Darling spins and slams the bat right into Nerve’s midsection. Darling heads into the room to get Blitz who’s a step ahead and uses the cushioning of the couch to springboard over Darlings head. He lands directly behind Darling and goes for a Lung Blower. Darling somehow manages to keep his composure and as Blitz drops down, Darling flips backwards with him and lands a double stomp right onto Blitz’s chest.
Alexander sees Nerve getting ready to charge him again, but is Alex is still a step ahead and tosses the bat right at Nerve’s legs. Nerve is too quick though and jumps over the bat, but as soon as he lands, Alexander is standing right in front of him and kicks him right in the stomach. Quicker than Nerve can react, Darling has him up in the air and hits a sick BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAA right onto the concrete floor. Before Darling can get up though Blitz is back to his feet kicking at Darling. He gets a few kicks in and he seems to be getting an advantage when he makes a horrible mistake and goes to grab the bat that Darling tossed at his partner.
When Blitz finally turns around, Darling is no longer laying on the ground. Blitz slowly makes his way back into the locker room looking for Darling when a brick slams into the side of his skull and Blitz crumbles to the ground. Darling is now covered in other people’s blood as he gets on top of Blitz and just starts raining punches down on him. The blood splatters up and covers Darling. Finally Nerve Agent is back up and is trying to drag Darling off his partner. Finally Darling stops punching Blitz and turns to face Nerve.
Nerve Agent: Holy shit man. What the fuck is your malfunction? You’re completely psycho, ya know that. You could have killed him man. This is way over the line.
Alexander: You’re a funny man Nerve. If you think this is the line, you ain’t seen shit yet. I’m so far away from the line, you don’t wanna be here if I ever do cross it.
Alexander picks up his bat and heads to the door leaving a bloodied Blitz and his partner staring after him. Nerves wants to follow-up and give Darling some pay back, but he knows his partner is in serious need of medical attention. All of a sudden Darling stops, places the bat back into the bag and turns to face Nerve again. He walks up and gets right into Nerve’s face.
Alexander: Actually, ya wanna know something. I’ve heard something interesting recently. You’ve got an issue with The DEA, don’t ya? You think Run DLP is the group of OOWF, don’t ya? That if you had your choice, you’d tell me to go fuck myself and sign up with Davin and the masked fags.
Nerve can sense where this is going and starts to clench his hands. Darling starts to smile which is only made worse by the fact that his face is covered in blood. Nerve doesn’t take another moment and clean punches Darling in the face. Darling’s head snaps back but he doesn’t take a step. Nerve throws a left and Darling’s head snaps in the opposite direction, but again he doesn’t take a step back.
Alexander: Now it’s my turn.
Alexander fakes a punch with his left hand to get Nerve moving to his right and as soon as he does, Darling connects with a massive right hand. Nerve drops like a ton. He’s almost out cold from one punch and there’s the reason why as Darling tosses a pair of brass knucks towards his bag. Darling cracks his neck as he looks at the carnage in the room. He seems to think for a second before walking over to Nerve Agent. He picks him up and places him on the edge of the couch.
Alexander: I want you to know one thing. Everything that already happened here tonight was about me. It had nothing to do with your little Degrassi feud with my allies. You say shit about DEA, it WILL get back to me. And beyond that, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. This, right here is for the TLC match…
Alexander quickly picks up Nerve Agent on the couch and puts him in position and fucking plants Nerve with the Deal Breaker (Cop Killer) onto the floor. Darling takes a moment to get up from that himself, but he does and heads over to his bag. He takes out his cell phone and dials a number.
Alexander: Moreland…your time is coming. BOOYAH, Bitch!
*Fade out as Darling picks up his bag and walks further into the halls of building*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:36:26 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is watching OOWF-TV on the Sony Multimedia Center in between tape sessions, and happens to catch Alexander Darling's psychotic rampage.*
DM: Damn, way to endear yourself to the roster, asshole. And you call me the "psycho druggie". The nose isn't healing up so good, though...Hey guys?!?
L: Yeah, D, what's up?
DM: Guys, we've got some serious shit here.
*He shows Lucios the replay of Darling's Lunacy. Phantos comes through singing the "Hurricane" theme*
L: Oh...my...goodness.
DM: Yeah.
P: STAND BACK! THERE'S A...
L: Stop it, Phantos. Come over here.
P: Aww man...
*All three sit and watch the replay a couple times, in an attempt to let it sink in*
L: Well, Davin...What do you want to do?
DM: Well, I want you two to prep for Spin and DH. I've got to take care of this.
P: NO! You're not going out there, D...Not right now!
DM: No, NOT right now...We need to get the Video Conferencing, Presented by Microsoft up and running. We need a strategy first. I can't be going off half-cocked.
*Phantos giggles*
L: Really?
DM: Probably not the right time, P-Dawg.
P: Man, you guys suck today.
DM: Well, we haven't been "Hurricane Helms" all day either.
P: STAND BACK!...
L: ENOUGH!
P: All right...Geez...
DM: So, who do we need?
L: Well, who ya got?
DM: Well, Diamond...John...Kenny...
P: Greg...
L: Yeah, good idea, Phantos.
DM: You think we should ask...nah...
L: No, say it.
DM: No, I don't like him...
L: Ah. Takakon.
DM: We just want opinions. You don't think he's too busy?
P: Nah, he hasn't even been on TV yet.
DM: I might have burned that bridge. Anyway, we're just looking for a strategy here.
L: What about Bobby?
DM: Oh yeah, good call. He's not doing anything.
L: Well, I'll get the conference set up.
DM: Yeah, I gotta make the call. Phantos, go help man...And get my toybox ready, would ya?
P: Awesome. Yeah.
*They leave. Davin pulls out his Sprint PCS phone*
DM: Yeah. Moreland 6, 4, Niner...
DM: Looks like we need to go Level 4 - Approval Code Zero-Zero-Destruct-Zero....Ok...No, just 2, Phantos and Lucios. I've...arranged for other protection... *eyes his toybox across the room being opened by Phantos*...Alright. Yeah, Conclusion Code: Delta Epsilon Alpha. You saw it too? Alright, well get on it.
*He hangs up*
DM: Darling, you want a fucking piece of me shithead? You'll be seeing me sooner than you think, jackass. And by all means, bring that sorry-ass Jericho Fanboy with you. This time, you aren't attacking me from behind. This time, I'll be ready. You just couldn't let this go? You couldn't just let this be about competition could you? No...Your head got too big too quickly, and you wanted to take the shortcut to the top. Guess what? You took the wrong road, jerkoff - because you took the road occupied by the LONGEST REIGNING ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION, DAVIN "I AINT YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN BITCH" MORELAND!
DM: That's right slapnuts, I'm the asshole manning the tollbooth on this path; and right now? You're fucking up my nicely paved road. So now? I'm leaving the booth, and I'll be waiting when you show up. And I swear to CHRIST if you go after anyone else NOT named Davin Moreland, you're gonna PRAY the only thing I break is what's left of your nose. Takes a real badass to beat up on two little flippy guys that have nothing to do with anything, doesn't it you worthless little pussy?
DM: Knock Knock, Who's There? PAIN MOTHERFUCKER! Nah....Nah Darling, I've had better men than you try to intimidate me. I've had stronger men than you try to take a shot at me...and I have BETTER men than your worthless, piece of shit ass, want to end me.
DM: "The Main Event" Chris Cole, my partner last week and my opponent this Sunday has tried to KILL me on multiple occasions. Guess what? He's held every Belt in this Fed and is one of the most decorated athletes in our profession. Quite frankly, your recent attention; and nothing resume is an insult; and makes you even more pathetic and worthless than you already are.
DM: So you and Jericho's Penis-Dopplganger, better have your guards up. PLEEEEEEEEEAASSE come looking for me. I fucking dare you. Cause guess what? I'm STILL HERE! In the words of Shawne Merriman, you two will be "Lights Out!"
*He does the "Lights Out" dance*
DM: BOOYAH, BITCHES. Don't forget who you're dealing with.
L: *from the other room* Conference is up, Davin.
*Davin stares at the Invisible Ninja Camera for a second before turning to leave*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:37:38 GMT -5
*Fade in to an UNKNOWN location (although we can assume that we're in My-Oh-Miami, Florida!) We see The E standing with what looks like....the old Raw set behind him?*
The E: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time....ME!
Tood Grisham: Actually, E, that's my job.
E: TOUGH QUESTIONS, TODD GRISHAM! What are you doing here?
TG: The WWE sent me here to interview you per your deal as a sponsor of Raw in HD~! Remember, we talked about this a few minutes before we came on air?
E: Are we in HD now?
TG: No, this is the old Raw set.
E: The OOWF probably doesn't have HD, right?
TG: Well according to the boss, you have upgraded to HD, but only to make up for the lack of a Wellness policy.
E: Fair enough. Well, you're the tough questions man, ask me the tough questions!
TG: OK, E, you have a Dance of Death I Quit match for the Onslaught Title this Sunday at Dance of Death IV. How do you feel about your chances to win?
E: I feel good, Todd. I feel real good.
TG:......That's it?
E: What?
TG: That's your answer? You aren't going to expand on that basic idea?
E: Well, if you wanted me to elaborate, you should have asked me. Or is that *too* tough of a question?
TG: OK, well, let's talk about Davin Moreland...
E: You mean Gavin Boreland?
TG: Sure, whatever you want to call him. Let's take another look at what happened MOMENTS AGO~~~!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:38:06 GMT -5
(Spin Hansen and D.H. Magnusson are GRABBING LUNCH AT THE FABULOUS HELL GENERAL STORE! Pictures of Hell's very own Chris Sabin adorn the walls.)
Waitress: Whaddaya want?
SH: A T-Bone, Medium Well, and extra vegetables. Oh, and a Diet Coke.
Watiress: That'll cost extra. And you, honey?
DHM: Double Cheeseburger, side of barbecue sauce, and a Coke.
Waitress: Sure thing. (She walks off.)
DHM: So, Spin, is that your attempt at eatin' healthy?
SH: Naah. Broccoli just sounds really good right now. I just still can't believe that we weren't able to get that third fall.
DHM: Shit happens, Spin. The most important thing is that we kicked ass an' took names... an' we've got a good shot at winnin' both the tables match an' the street fight.
SH: Hell yes we do. I've got to admit something to you, though... I've been feeling kind of strange over the past week.
DHM: Don't tell me it's somethin' from that guy you're always talkin' to in the boiler room.
SH: Naah, it's not that-- besides, he's gonna be away on business for a while, anyway.
DHM: So what was that deal that you guys had, anyway?
SH: He and I have mutual interests, but there are a few recent loose ends that need to be tied up on his end. He and his associate are going to take care of them, and I'm gonna focus on doing what I do best.
DHM: Beatin' the hell outta anyone that crosses you?
SH: Damn right. (The two bump fists.) No, I've just been having weird flashbacks from the past, and the fact that I got a weird phone call from Sugar didn't help things.
DHM: Sugar like th' Sugar an' Spice Sugar?
SH: One and the same. I've kept in touch with 'em since they left Alt and the Three Piece Set. She told me that it might be a good idea to remember to bring the crowbar with me wherever I go, and the line went dead from there.
DHM: Damn... who d'you think it could be?
SH: I've got my suspicions. I've just been seeing a few weird coincidences lately. My advisor told me to reach into my past, which brought up some shit. Damon Wrath comes in, and his finisher is called "Lights Out." Mooreland does a lights out dance... I mean, the signs all add up to--
(A brick flies past Hansen's head, SMASHING into one of the Sabin pictures!)
SH: Son of a bitch.
Josh O'Neal: LIGHTS OUT, HANSEN!
(To be continued...)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:38:29 GMT -5
*Outback Jack and Wally B. King are in the Destroyitarium, "supervising" the unloading of a truckload of liquor. *
OBJ: Easy does it now mate, don't bruise the booze.
Delivery Truck Driver: I could do without the commentary. I do know how to do my job.
OBJ: Oh really? *Pulls a bottle of Mount Gay Rum out of a carton.* We were supposed to get this in time for Mayhem.
*Opens the bottle and takes a large swig*
WBK: Hey, check this out! Looks like business is picking up!
*The TV in the bar is showing footage of the Darling rampage and Moreland response.*
OBJ: Hey bartender, have you got a Level 4 security system in here?
Bartender: I've got a baseball bat behind the bar.
OBJ: Works for me. Pour me a chaser for this. *Swills more rum.*
Bartender: Coke? Pepsi?
OBJ: That stuff's bad for my complexion. Beer will do the trick. And see if you can get Heath Ledger's funeral on TV. I read on Online Onslaught that it's going to be in Australian!
WBK: I hate to interrupt all this inportant business, but have you thought about what I mentioned before?
OBJ: It was, er, something McCappington said at Mayhem, right? I kind of lost track, what with having to do all this work setting up here. Spinch and DH are taking forever to get back from lunch.
*OBJ swills more rum while the delivery truck driver and bartender struggle past carrying more cases.*
WBK: Remember how 2 of your opponents are in the same faction? And how Viper maybe has his sights on the World Championship belt? They might work together as a team, or even have one of them lie down for the other.
OBJ: You've got a point. I'll just have to watch out for that.
WBK: That and maybe you need to talk to the other guy in the match.
OBJ: Knife? I guess I could talk to him.
WBK: You really need to start paying attention to what's going on around here.
*OBJ ignores Wally while reaching over the bar to pour himself another beer.*
WBK: Never mind, I suppose I should talk to him myself. *Looks up at the TV, showing another replay of the backstage rampage, and pulls out his cell phone.* Good thing I have LD's Momma on speed dial.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:38:51 GMT -5
<Stank walks into the Destroyitarium with SFJ#1 in tow. Stank is trying his best to ignore her. He acknowledges OBJ in the back, then sits at the bar. SFJ#1 pulls up a stool and sits next to the Champ.> Stank - I don't feel like talking to you Charlotte! SFJ#1 - Just ONE quote... please! Stank - ... SFJ#1 - ... anything? ... C'mon Lucas! Stank - Fuck off, Charlie. SFJ#1 - So you're trying to TELL ME after what happened at Mayhem YOU have NOTHING to say to your opponents? Not even CAPELLAN!?!? <At the sound of Capellan's name Stank looks up from his beer. He shoots SFJ#1 a cold stare, then turns to the cameraman. He clears his throat...> Stank - Capellan... congratulations... you've FINALLY GROWN a set of BALLS! This man that you've become is the kind of man I... the kind I like to fight. I've been trying to wake you up. Something your ex partner Viper couldn't seem to do. And now... You've finally got... my attention. THANK GOD! Because I would HATE to have had to whoop your ass, along with LD and Dragon's, just for it all to have meant nothing. It's not MY desire to have sent a man tumbling down the mountainside who didn't want to be up here... who didn't really deserve to climb it in the first place. How can I crush the dreams of a man who has none? Now am I the heel for even asking that question... or am I the face for inspiring a man to be more than what he was? I'll leave that question for others to answer. You Capellan... you are just now starting to get it. Hitting me with that chair shot you have indeed earned my attention... but it's going take a HELL of a LOT MORE to EARN my RESPECT! So let me now give YOU Capellan something to worry about. Worry about my fist caving in your skull! Worry about my hands wrapped around your measly little throat! WORRY ABOUT me SLAMMING you to the mat and pinning you for the 1,2,3. As for Weapon X I say this... Which of you two is going to try to step up and be the man? Which of you two is going to try and take my title? Cause it can't be both of you. Only one. You see right now I address you as Weapon X and that would be all well and good if this were a tag team match. But there is only one slab of Gold to be had here. You can't share it. So in a match like this... there's no room for Weapon X... only LD Williams versus Canadian Dragon. Cause at some point you will have to cease being Weapon X in order for one of you to be called Champ. I don't think either of you, when put in a singles match together, have what it takes to let go their partner and be the Man. Oh sure you'll knock each other through tables and bust each other up, then meet up afterwards and share a laugh, but then what? What are you left with? You're just two busted fools with nothing to show for it. And that's exactly what's going to happen after Dance of Death IV. Two busted up partners... nothing to show for it. You see Outback Jack back there? He or Spin, if either of them wanted to challenge me for my title, I would whoop their asses like anybody else. Cause there ARE no friends or partners in a singles match. In that ring there are only opponents... victims really. They understand that, Spin and OBJ. I'd expect the sentiment to be returned to me in kind. But do you two? Do either of you have what it takes to let go of the ties that bind, step up, and be THE man? Be the one? I don't think so. Prove me wrong. And there's your quote Charlotte. Now leave me be. |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:39:14 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is walking down the hallway to the end of the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina wing of the arena. His Onlslaught Belt is slung over his shoulder, and he's carrying a steel chair, a piece of rebar, and a barbed wire-wrapped baseball bat with splotches of dried blood on it. It appears to be autographed by a Moose Headjack, but that cannot be confirmed from this distance. He opens the chair and sets it up right next to the Dunkin' Donuts Hospitality Tent, Manned by Curt "The Golden God" Schilling. He sits.*
C'TGG'S: Hey Davin.
DM: Don't FUCK with me right now Schilling.
C'TGG'S: Coffee?
DM: Please.
*Curt "The Golden God" Schilling prepares Davin's coffee and gives it to him. Davin takes a sip*
DM: I'll say this, Schilling- I might want to kill you most of the time, but you sure do make a mean cup of coffee.
C'TGG'S: Thanks. Hey Davin, You out here because of the E thing?
DM: The "E" thing? No, I'm out here because Alexander Darling is spending his free time making me look sane these days. What "E" thing?
C'TGG'S: He cut a promo...
DM: He cut a "promo" *air quotes*? No wonder I missed it. I either fell asleep during it or fast-forwarded right through it. You know, kind of like what I do with RAW, fast-forward right through it.
C'TGG'S: Yeah, TNA is kicking a lot of ass right now.
DM: Stone Cold Sharkboy?
C'TGG'S: Genius. So, what are you gonna do about "The E"?
DM: *laughs* Nothing. Just like RAW, Just like his little *air quotes* "promo"; you can do the same thing with "The E's" career. Just fast-forward right through it, because there's nothing there interesting or noteworthy.
C'TGG'S: Even I won a couple Cy Youngs.
DM: And a couple World Series. Thanks for 04 by the way.
C'TGG'S: It was nothing.
DM: Ketchup?
C'TGG'S: Yeah.
DM: I knew it.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:39:41 GMT -5
[The Nerves Agent is just now getting up from the massive attack from Alexander Darling. Blitz is still curled up on the ground with blood all around him]
TNA: What..what..the..fuck..Blitz! Damn it!
[He pulls out his cell phone and dials three digits]
TNA: I need an ambulance now.
phone talk
Yeah, as soon as possible.
more phone talk
He's messed up really badly, he need's immediate help.
[The Nerve Agent hangs up his phone and walks over to his unconcious partner and kneels next to him. After sitting there for a while he picks his partner up and slings him over his soldiers. He starts to walk out of his locker room and towards an exit door.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:40:02 GMT -5
*Fade in to The E on a cellphone. He notices the camera and winks*
E: Hey. You are going to love this. Not only am I a man of entertainment, I am also a master of voices. Check out my Davin Moreland.
*Another moment and then the E begins talking.*
E (in his best Davin Moreland voice): Hey. Moreland 6, 4, Niner...
Looks like we can call off the Level 4, and go back down to Level 1 - Approval Code Zero-Zero-Destruct-Zero. Yeah, Conclusion Code: Delta Epsilon Alpha. If I need anything else, I'll notify you.
*The E shuts his cell phone to a close and begins to laugh.*
E: Fast forward through my career? Davin Moreland, at this moment in time, is nothing more than an afterthought. The biggest thing he's lived up to be is a pussy. Come this Sunday there is no hiding. In fact, I don't think I'm quiet done with him. In fact, shut that camera off, but come with me. We have a little trip to make.
*The E walks down the hallway, past the old Raw logo, as the camera fades to black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 17:40:23 GMT -5
*Davin is talking on his Sprint PCS phone.*
DM: Yeah. No. What a fucking retard. Ok. Yeah, Caller ID isn't exactly a new invention. Cool.
*He snaps the phone closed and goes back to his coffee*
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