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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 18:08:48 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is in STREET CLOTHES carrying an Old School Duffle-Style Red Gym Bag with the Old Pat Patriot New England Patriots Logo on it. The bag seriously looks 20 years old. He is HUSTLING into the Run DLP Locker Room presesnted by Aquafina, as we are about 3 hours before Mayhem. Phantos and Lucios are sparring; prepping for their Invitational Matches*
DM: *heads for Davin Moreland's Living Quarters, Presented by Starwood Hotels* Hey guys...
L: Holy heck, it's Davin!
P: D-Dizzle! *comes running out* Where've you been?
DM: Um...Harrisonburg. Do you not watch OOWF-TV?
P: You been there this whole time? Nice...
L: Gosh Davin, you have like 2 hours to get ready, what took so long?
DM: I got, um, tied up in Harrisonburg and it...delayed my arrival. So, pretty much, I have 2 hours to change, cut a promo, and do a few reps at 325 before I get out there.
P: WE cut a promo already.
DM: I noticed. You know Katie Couric is like 60-something, right?
P: Stop playin...
L: ...
DM: ...
P: Aww man...*Phantos heads toward the Shower Area, Presented by Kohler*
L: Man, you cut it really close.
DM: I KNOW Mom; it wont happen again.
L: Funny. If it costs you your match, you won't be...
DM: A) If it costs me my match, so what? There's no shame in losing to a decorated Former and Current, Multiple-Time Champion. It's not like I'm Outback Jack and drew Voltage.
L: Who is ALSO a Current, Multiple-Time Champion...
DM: *stares* Really? Same thing as Ecosystem? You're right; they're like carbon copies of each other.
L: You don't have to be a jerl about it.
DM: B) I *was* recovering from injuries sustained in both my match and the photo shoot...
L: Nice Sell-Job, by the way.
DM: Thanks.
K: You know? It's you guys I hate the most. You just don't even TRY to pretend I exist. It's like I don't even matter...
DM: Well, you really don't.
*Kayfabe starts to weep openly*
L: Hey, don't be like that...
K: Be like what? I try and try and try to be entertaining and keep continuity and history and what do you do? Shatter me on a weekly basis. It's too much for someone to take.
DM: Hey, listen. If you have a problem, take to the Ninja Cameramen - They're the ones who follow us around 24-7...
K: AHHHH! YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN!
*Kayfabe full-on starts sobbing and locks herself in the bathroom*
DM: *pauses for a second before continuing* and C) This is the first time I got to spend any time with Cori since we left Harrisonburg.
L: She's not too young for you?
DM: Hell, I'm not the one trying to bang pregnant 16-year olds, or turned-18-3-weeks-ago TV Stars...
L: Isn't she 19?
DM: 19 and crazy, just like all 19-year old girls.
*Firewoman happens by the door of the Run DLP Locker Room and stares daggers into Davin*
DM: Oh, come on Fire. Tell me it's not 100% true.
*Firewoman sighs and nods quickly before leaving. Kayfabe is yelling at the top of her lungs in the bathroom*
K: YOU TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FEUDING~!~!~~!!!!!!!!
L: Still, Davin...
DM: Still what? Maybe if you got YOURSELF a girlfriend this would be a problem. Hell, within 2 weeks Phantos has bagged himself a 16 year old and a 60 year old.
P: *from the Shower Area* EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
L: This is not about me. Besides, ONE of us has to be focused on our opponents. Here, I wrote you a promo to cut on Ecosystem.
DM: *crumples the paper and throws it in the nearest trashcan ("It's GOOD!"* Yeah, THAT'LL happen. When was the last time I wrote down ANY promo, let alone used one written by someone else?
L: You don't WRITE these?
DM: No. Why else do you think they're so long, rambling, boring and unfunny?
L: I thought you were just an intense competitor without time for a Sense of Humor.
DM: Lucios...*pats him on the back a couple times* Man, after this we're going back to the States and we're gonna be in New England. Whaddya say you go to my Mommy's for a couple days after Mayhem? Get a couple day's head start.
L: I don't need to go to...
DM: Yeah, you kinda do, you're WAY to high-strung and uptight right now. 48 hours. Go look at the beach for a while. Go check up on Jamie Lynn for your buddy. Go say hi to Dallas and pick his brain...You just need OUT of HERE.
L: *sighs* Maybe you're right. After the match tonight we'll go.
DM: We?
L: Yeah, me and Phan...
DM: Nonononono...YOU go. Phantos can stay here.
L: Go...ALONE?
DM: You need some time alone. You and Phantos aren't married after all...
*Lucios Glares*
DM: Go. Alone. We're gonna be there for the next month pretty much anyway. We'll see you this weekend.
L: *sigh* Fine.
DM: Ok, good. Now I have to cut a promo.
L: Don't forget he hit you with a chair.
DM: *rubs the back of his head* How can I forget?
L: I didn't know you could sell at all, never mind like a pro.
DM: Sometimes you gotta tweak the gimmick a little bit, ya know?
*Kayfabe starts sobbing loudly again from the bathroom*
DM: *goes over to the Designated Interview Area, presented by CBS4News- WBZ- Boston (Your Home of the New England Patriots). He grabs a mic and stares into the fixed camera* 3, 2, 1....*he rubs his head* Ecosystem...Let me tell ya, usually those Photo Shoots are typically tame affairs. We usually drop our allegiances and just get our picture taken, maybe have a beer or 3 afterward. I usually don't have to WORRY about someone REPEATEDLY DRILLING ME IN THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR!
DM: You want my attention, Ecosystem? You've got it. You've got my UNDIVIDED ATTENTION now. So help me, I'm gonna make you pay for those unprovoked Chairshots on Mayhem, and I'm gonna eliminate you from the Tournament of Champions. I get that you've held multiple belts in this Fed; that you're an OOWF Original; Hell, you STARTED the OOWF; but unfortunately for you, none of that helps you right now. Russ and Razz call me the 7 Foot, 300 lb freak of nature. I'm not quite 7 feet, and just a shade under 300, but I'm still a freak of nature, and so help me; I will use every bit of skill that I have to beat you and embarrass you. Just tell me now, Eco; You wanna tap? You wanna get pinned in the middle of the ring, 1, 2, 3? You want a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER on the ramp so you can get counted out? Let me know, Eco; I'm beggin' ya. Make it easy on both of us. Because there is NO WAY on GOD'S GREEN EARTH that you are walking out tonight with the win. No CHANCE! I don't care who you are, or what you've done...Anyone who attacks me from behind will be dealt with swiftly; and I WILL mete out my Davin Justice. Take THAT to the bank. You WILL Feel the Bang.
DM: Which brings me to Outback Jack, my opponent in round 2. We've put on a couple of good matches in the past, but this time I hope to put on a top-10 Match Of the Year Nominee. Since you're a mat-based kind of guy, that's gonna require some BIG TIME effort. But Hell, Jack, I know you've got it in ya. Just pound a brew and let it all hang out in the ring. I respect the Hell out of you man. You've been doing this forever, and you're one of the best to step in the squared circle.
L: *Loud Whisper* It's possible you could face Voltage...
DM: *starts laughing* Yeah, right. Good one Luc. And then, if I'm lucky to continue, it will be Davin Moreland vs. World Champion Stank. Clash of the Titans. The 2 big men in the OOWF.
L: Hey...
DM: The two biggest SINGLES COMPETITORS in the OOWF, Better?
L: Yes.
DM: We've faced off once, ever; and it's a match I'll never forget. You and I said FUCK the old Onslaught Rules, decked Glaw, and had a huge, ol brawl. Yeah it was a Double DQ, and Yeah I got Stank-U's on the ramp; but I guarantee you this. I will NOT be Stank-U'd on the ramp this time. You may Stank-U me in the ring. Then again, You could get REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTERed in the ring. You get all the props in the world though, Man; you've been a great champ.
DM: But, first things first. Eco, you're friggin' toast for what you did. I hope you enjoy blood, pain, and broken bones because that's what Davin's gonna give ya in a couple hours.
DM: And to my old buddy Alexander Darling. How's your nose? That's a mighty fine facemask you have on there. What's next? A helmet? Are you gonna be one of those people who have to wear a helmet 24 hours a day? You gonna start drooling next? Looks like your little dream of a faction that's worth a fuck is crumbling before your facemask-guarded eyes. See, that's what happens when you're a never-was, and you recruit 2 more never-wases to join your Never-was faction. What happens then? Well, it crumbles like you NEVER WERE. And you aren't. You're a pathetic, sorry excuse for a big deal. For someone who's wanted to make a big name for yourself, you've done a shitty job. Outside of pinning Kiwi Joo, what the hell have you done here in 2 months? Nothing. Abso-fucking-lotely nothing. That is, except alienate the only ally you had that was worth ANYTHING in Eric O'Mac; turn one of the greatest High-Flyers in our business in Rabbxt into a quivering pile of goo that makes Shannon Moore look happy. You've turned the hands-down best new talent the OOWF has seen in a while in Firewoman, and turned her into a freakin' jobber who hates you. Hell, the only reason your sister's still there is cause no one else will have her but her brother. You're a pathetic example, man. You came in here full of sound and fury, and here we are, in the end; it signifies NOTHING. Just a pointless blowhard who is no threat to anyone. Sad, really...You had such potential too. Oh well. By the way, when I want to...I'm coming after that DDT Iron Person Belt, just because I can. So be ready. BOOYAH, BITCH!
*Davin gives a signal, and we fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 18:10:52 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1 Live! From Guelph, Ontario Canada
Tournament of Champions
ECOSYSTEM vs. DAVIN MORELAND
One half of the OOWF world tag team champions, Ecosystem, makes his way to the ring first. He leaves the rest of LOADED in the back and comes out alone, surprisingly. After a brief pause, OOWF Onslaught Champion Davin Moreland comes out to the top of the ramp flanked by a clearly banged up Phantos & Lucios. They pose for a moment and soak up the cheers of the crowd, then bump knuckles and Moreland heads to the ring by himself. Moreland steps between the ropes and with the titles taken care of, this one is underway. They circle and go to lock up, but Eco get in a quick kick to the gut that doubles Moreland over, Eco waits till he stands up and then drills him with a clothesline that sends him to the mat. Eco bounds off the ropes and drops a leg across Moreland’s chest and gets a two count. Davin powers out and quickly gets to his feet and reverses a whip from Eco and catches Eco with a power slam as he comes off the ropes, now Moreland gets a two count. Both men are quickly back to their feet, and Moreland catches Eco with a knee to the mid section and hauls him up for a suplex, but Eco slips behind his back and rolls him up from behind for a two count. Moreland once again spins to his feet and tries a clothesline, but the quicker Eco ducks and springs off the bottom rope and tries a back elbow, but Moreland side steps it and drives him to the mat. Moreland moves to the corner and climbs the top rope and the big man tries a moonsault, but Eco moves out of the way at the last second and Moreland crashes to the mat! Eco takes his turn on the top rope and leaps and lands the Soy Bomb! Eco covers, one, two, NO! Moreland kicks out! Eco is a little frustrated, but pulls Moreland to his feet and lands some stiff kicks to the knees that drops Moreland to his knees. Eco connects with a stiff kick to the head that puts Moreland to the mat. Eco covers, but once again can only get a two count. Eco sits Moreland up and locks him in the stump puller! Moreland screams in pain, but will not give up. Eco finally breaks the hold and bounds off the ropes and connects with a drop kick to Davin’s face. Eco covers and gets another two count, this time Moreland can’t power out of it, but he manages to get his foot on the ropes before the referee counts three. Eco pulls Moreland to his feet and whips him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Moreland hammers him on the back of the head with a clubbing forearm. Moreland sends Eco to the ropes and elevates him, but Eco comes down and snaps Moreland off in a hurracarana. Davin gets back to his feet and staggers into a corner. Eco charges and Moreland gets a boot up in time, catching him right in the jaw. As Eco turns and staggers, Moreland charges out of the corner and drops him with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER!! Moreland covers and hooks the leg and gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 9:21 – Davin Moreland
VOLTAGE vs. OUTBACK JACK
Our second Tournament of Champions match is ready to start. Voltage comes out with his half of the tag team titles and poses on the top rope. The crowd boos him loudly. Outback Jack’s music plays and the crowd erupts as the new Intercontinental champion makes his way to the ring. Jack climbs between the ropes and Voltage immediately attacks. He catches Jack with a kick to the mouth, and a rake to the eyes that sends Jack to the ropes. Volt rakes his back and Jack staggers back to the corner. Voltage hits Jack with a couple of chops, then climbs the ropes for the Ten Punches of Doom! But Volt only gets to five before Jack shoves him off to the mat. Volt gets right to his feet and charges, right into an elbow to the face from Jack. Voltage staggers and Jack explodes out of the corner and takes him down with a clothesline. Jack waits for Volt to get back to his feet, then scoops him up and plants him on the mat, looks to the crowd, then stomps him right in the mouth. Voltage rolls around the ring holding his mouth, so Jack pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a big back body drop. As Voltage gets up again, Jack charges and hits him with a big boot to the face. Voltage falls between the ropes to the floor and tries to regroup. Jack pulls Voltage back onto the apron, but Volt grabs his head and drops off the apron choking Jack on the top rope and sending him back into the ring. Voltage climbs the ropes in the corner and waits for Jack to get back to his feet. When he does, Volt tries a missile drop kick, but Jack moves out of the way and Volt gets nothing but canvas. Volt gets to his feet and staggers a bit and Jack catches him in the back of the head with a clothesline that sends him into the corner chest first. Volt staggers backward a bit and Jack lifts him with an atomic drop that sends him into the corner a second time chest first, Volt staggers backward again so Jack drop kicks him in the back and sends him into the corner a third time, Volt staggers backward again, and by now Jack is clearly annoyed, so he grabs Volt’s head and slams it into the top turnbuckle a couple times, then the middle a few times, then the lower one a few times, then the mat a couple of times. Jack covers, but Volt gets his foot on the bottom rope at two to break it. OBJ pulls Voltage to his feet and sends him to the ropes and buries a knee into his midsection, then hits the ropes, passes Volt and hits a reverse bulldog. Jack flips Voltage over and tries the cross face, but Volt makes it to the ropes. They both get to their feet and Volt swings wildly, Jack catches both his arms and hits a series of head buts to the face that rocks Volt, then sets him up and hits the CHOMP! Voltage may be DEAD! Jack rolls him over and locks on the cross face, but its all academic now and the referee calls for the bell. WINNER in 12:11 – Outback Jack
OOWF Invitational Round 1
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. JUSTIN SANE
Justin Sane waits in the ring for Moosehead Jack, shadowboxing in his corner. Jack slowly walks down the ramp, pausing to look back at the ramp. Jack finally enters the ring and attacks Sane immediately. A barrage of punches sends Sane to the mat, but Jack continues to pound away. Moose yanks Sane to his feet and clobbers him with a clothesline. Jack slams Sane to the ground and tries a knee drop. Sane rolls out of the way and jumps to his feet. Sane connects with an enziguri and grabs a side headlock. Sane backs into a corner and looks for a bulldog, but Moose grabs the rope and Sane falls to the mat. Moose stomps on Sane relentlessly, drawing blood from both Sane’s mouth and nose. Moose is in complete control and kicks Sane in the gut. Jack drapes Sane over the turnbuckle and climbs onto the bottom rope. Moose positions Sane’s head between his legs and jumps down, spiking Sane with a Pile driver! Jack toys with Sane, pulling him to his feet, only to knock him down with a forceful spinning chop. Moose watches Sane struggle to his feet, and then charges in and spears Sane into the corner. Moose mocks Justin’s cries of pain and pulls him back to his feet. Moose drapes each of Justin’s arms over the ropes and seizes him up, and then suddenly it’s a HEARTPUNCH! Sane slumps to the ground and Moose stomps on him until Sane falls off the ring apron. Jack slumps in the corner as our referee makes a ten count. Sane doesn’t even stir until after the bell rings. WINNER in 4:38; via count out, Moosehead Jack
ERIC O’MAC vs. THE DEAD
“To Be Loved” by Papa Roach hits and The E makes his way onto the ramp. He looks like the definition of arrogance as he comes out with sunglasses and a fur coat. He taunts the fans on his way down to the ring and poses once he gets between the ropes. He stands in the center of the ring and looks up the ceiling and all of a sudden a boom mic comes down. The E takes it in his hand,
The E: Every single person here in Canada should be standing right now because you are in the presence of a SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT GOD…You are in the presence of MISTEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Eric walks over to the corner and stands on the second turnbuckle.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As soon as he’s finished with the long drawn out E, “Doomsday Clock” by the Smashing Pumpkins begins to play and The Dead makes his way out. The Dead makes his way down to the ring by himself for this match finally hoping that the Degrassi feud is over and he doesn’t have to worry about an attack from behind for a change. He gets in the ring and goes right up to The E. The two stand nose to nose as referee Gavin Hale calls for the bell. TD and TE get together for a collar-and-elbow lock up both trying to get the advantage. TE pushes TD into the corner and the ref calls for a break and TE gives TD a little slap as he backs away in a very entertaining break. They lock up again and TE pushes TD back into another corner and another break is called for. TE goes to slap TD again, but TD reverses it and starts laying into TE’s chest with knife hand chops. TD grabs an early advantage here as his high-impact offense does more damage than TE’s slower, more methodical move set. But TD makes a rookie mistake after sending TE into the ropes and putting his head down too soon so that TE catches him with a jumping knee. This lets TE grab the advantage and he does so with a Randy Orton-esque entertaining chin lock. He keeps the hold locked in for a few minutes before TD reverses it and grabs a hammer lock on TE. TD holds the hammer lock as he picks up TE and hits a suplex, dropping TE on his head. TE is dazed and TD goes for the cover but only gets a two-count before TE kicks out. TD stays on the offensive trying to set-up TE for the CTC. He goes for it once, but TE is still coherent enough to drop down and roll out of the ring instead of get hit with it. TD follows him outside and the two start trading punches. TD goes to send TE into the barricade, but TE reverses it and TD goes slamming into the barricade. TE quickly follows up with a few kicks before picking up an injured TD and tossing him back in the ring. TE goes for the entertaining, but lazy cover but TD reverses and gets a quick two count before TE realizes to kick out. TE is up first and looks livid that he almost got beat on a flash pin by TD. He starts reverting back to his older, higher impact offense before realizing it. He hits a release German suplex as well as a Frankensteiner as TD bounces off the ropes. Once he realizes this though, TE shakes his head and picks up TD before locking in an abdominal stretch near the ropes. TE goes old-school style and uses the ropes for leverage when the ref isn’t looking. After three times of the ref checking TE finally gets caught and starts giving a 5 count to TE. As TE and the ref argue, TD recovers enough to hit a hip toss on TE. TD follows up and picks TE to his feet and the two start trading punches. TD sends TE into the ropes and hits a dropkick as he bounces off. TD follows it up with some more high-impact moves before sending TE back into the ropes. TD hits a drop-toe hold and TE’s face smashes hard into the mat. That’s normally the set-up for TD’s Closing the Casket. As TE struggles to get to his feet TD lines him up again. TE finally does stand up and TD goes for the CTC but TE kind of gets out of the way as the move connects but not completely. It grazes off his shoulder, but it still knocks him back into the corner. TD charges TE in the corner, but TE gets his feet up and TD goes down. TE’s back on the offense trying to grind TD down. TE picks TD up and hits him with a Samoan drop in the center of the ring. TE stands up and stands over TD. He takes his elbow pad off and throws it into the crowd. ‘The E’ is going for The Entertaining Elbow. He bounces off one rope, then the other before getting back to The Dead. But instead of actually hitting the elbow TE just drops down and locks in a side head lock. Boy that sure was entertaining. TE looks like he really has it cinched in and is calling for TD to tap out. TD shakes his head no to the ref asking him and instead rolls TE over and gets yet another flash two-count on TE. They both get back to their feet before TD gets TE in position for a backslide. Another two-count. Back to their feet and TD goes for a small package. Another two-count. TE is furious when he gets back to his feet and pushes TD. TD is having none of that though and hits a few more knife-hand chops to TE’s chest. TD tries to toss TE into the ropes but TE reverses it. TD is a step ahead and jumps onto the second rope and comes off with a springboard DDT. He goes for the cover, but TE has enough left in him to roll over on top of TD. They’re close to the ropes and ‘The E’ places both his feet on the second rope for extra leverage. The ref doesn’t notice and he comes down with the 1, 2, and 3. ‘The E’ just stole one from The Dead. ‘The E’ quickly rolls out of the ring before The Dead can get up and go after him. As Eric makes his way back up the ramp, the camera picks up on him saying, ”Now that’s entertaining.” WINNER in 11:52 – Eric “The E” O’Mac
SPIN HANSEN vs. SYB
The Pyro goes off and Spin Freakin’ Hansen appears at the top of the ramp to “Straight to Video” and he’s accompanied by D.H. Magnusson. It’s a slow, steady walk to the ring; ignoring the fans on the way down. Magnusson and Hansen bump knuckles, and the monstrous Hansen climbs through the ropes, and he smiles as he sees SYB bitching at the referee that he didn’t get an entrance. SYB walks over to the ropes and hangs over the side; apparently yelling for the timekeeper to hand him a mic. Hansen looks at Referee Angelo Barros, and Barros shrugs his shoulders as if to say “I’m not gonna stop you”. He doesn’t as Hansen Pearl Harbors SYB with a double axe handle to the back of the neck. Barros calls for the bell, and WE’RE UNDERWAY. Kick to the gut, HUGE Rabbit Punch to the back of the head forces SYB to the mat. Hansen continues his highly technical offense: kick to the ribs, Orton Kick to the chin, knee drop to the back of the head, 2 face smashes onto the mat. SYB is already bleeding and seemingly dead. Hansen is grinning ear-to-ear as he pulls SYB to his feet. He tosses SYB off the ropes and hits a HUGE POWER SPINEBUSTER. Hansen eschews the cover and pulls SYB to his feet again, this time by his throat. In an amazing display of power; he holds SYB up by the throat for a good 5 seconds, then pulls him up higher, spins around and hits THE REVOLUTION. That’s got to be it. No. Apparently Hansen isn’t quite done. A couple of kicks to the face, and then he picks up SYB again and pulls SYB’s legs around his neck. Uh-oh. Now he HEADS FOR THE TOP ROPE! By God, no…Hansen lets out a primal scream with SYB on his shoulders and leaps and HITS THE SPINAL JUSTICE FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! Someone call an ambulance. Hansen takes some time getting to his feet, smiles, and looks at the bloody and broken SYB. Hansen flips SYB onto his stomach and goes to the mat, to lock on the WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT! Someone STOP this. Why isn’t he tapping? Oh, that must be because he’s FREAKIN’ DEAD. Hansen is screaming “TAP” at the top of his lungs. Luckily, Barros has seen enough and does the arm lift thing. Once. Twice. Three times it hits the mat, so Barros calls for the bell, and immediately gives the dreaded “X” sign to the back. WINNER BY SUBMISSION in 3:14 – Spin Freakin’ Hansen
FIREWOMAN vs. NILES ANDERSON
“The Specimen” Niles Anderson makes his way to the ring, threatening various fans along the way. He gets into the ring and seems pretty sure about himself. Firewoman is announced and she comes to the ring alone, leaving the members of DEA in the back. Fire climbs into the ring and walks right up to Niles. Niles completely checks her out, and we can see Niles doing some sweet talking. Fire bats her eyes and looks flattered. Niles does the “spin around so I can get a full view” motion, and Fire spins, and comes all the way around with a clothesline that knocks Niles out of the ring! Fire is furious, and she leaves the ring and grabs Anderson and plants him on the floor with a slam, then rolls him over on his chest and pulls back and slams him across the face with several forearms before slamming him face first into the floor. Fire pulls Niles up and rolls him under the bottom rope, Niles gets to his knees and begs off, Fire is relentless though and kicks Niles in the chest, then pulls him up and hits an inverted atomic drop. Niles does a little dance while grabbing the jewels and Fire yells at him “dance for me BITCH!” Then hits another clothesline that sends Anderson to the mat. Fire covers, but Niles kicks out at two. Fire is back up and she pulls Niles to his feet, but Niles stops her with a rake of the eyes. Anderson whips Fire into the corner and charges in with a clothesline, but keeps her there and hammers away until the referee threatens disqualification. Niles turns and yells at the referee, then sets Fire on the top rope and superplexes her to the middle of the ring. Niles floats over and gets a two count. Niles pulls Fire to a sitting position and tilts her head back and drops several elbows down on her face, then plants his knee in the middle of her back and pulls her arms back trying for the submission. Fire won’t quit however, and fights her way to her feet and Niles grabs her in a side head lock. Fire pushes him off and catches him with a nice hurracarana that sends Niles across the ring. Fire waits for Niles to get to his feet and tries another hurracarana, but Niles catches her and plants her with a power bomb and covers her with the Edge pin on Beulah complete with pelvic thrusts, except Fire kicks out, and is ten kinds of pissed off now. She spins to her feet and catches Niles with a spinning fist to the side of the head, then kicks him in the mid section and hits a jumping pile driver. Fire doesn’t even go for the pin, instead she grabs Niles, and hits the curb stomp before locking him in a full nelson while he is on the mat, complete with pelvic thrust, then flipping over for the cattle mutilation! Niles tries to get his feet to the ropes, but he can’t and the referee calls for the bell. WINNER in 8:08 - Firewoman
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. THE NERVE AGENT
The Nerve Agent enters first and awaits Canadian Dragon. Dragon looks focused as he enters the ring and immediately starts pounding on Nerve. Nerve returns the favor as he whips Dragon into the corner. Dragon bounces off the turnbuckles and Nerve hits him with a monkey flip. As Dragon gets up, Nerve tries to follow with a dropkick but CD moves just in time, sending Nerve to the mat. Dragon pounces on Nerve, clearly trying to end this match early. Dragon tries to hook in the dragon sleeper but Nerve fights back and eventually gets to his feet. The two exchange punches and kicks. Dragon is whipped toward the ropes, but Nerve telegraphs his move and ends up on the receiving end of a neck breaker. Dragon goes for the pin, but only gets a two count. CD picks up Nerve and attempts to hit him with a suplex, but Nerve flips out of it and lands on his feet. Nerve bounces off the ropes and hits a spinning neck breaker of his own on CD. Nerve tries to capitalize and picks Dragon up, but Dragon kicks Nerve in the stomach and nails him with a sick looking DDT. Dragon again goes for the cover, and again only gets a two. Dragon can't believe it wasn't a three and begins arguing with the referee, allowing Nerve to get up and land a sweet looking dropkick to CD's face. Nerve heads to the top rope and signals for a Shooting Star Press, but Dragon recovers in time and crotches Nerve on the ropes. CD climbs the turnbuckle as well, and the two exchange punches. Both men struggle to gain the upper hand. Canadian Dragon looks like he has Nerve set up for a top rope superplex but Nerve fights back and eventually shoves Dragon off the top rope. Dragon collides with the referee on his way down, and the ref is out. Nerve flies off the top rope and nails Dragon with a frog splash. He goes to make the cover but realizes there is no ref. Nerve begins to shake the referee, pleading with him to get up. The ref begins to stir, and Nerve turns around, only to be hit square in the jaw by Dragon. Nerve goes down in a heap, and Dragon tucks something into his trunks. Was that a set of brass knuckles? Dragon locks in a dragon sleeper just as the ref finally comes to. Seeing Nerve out cold, the referee has no choice but to ring the bell. WINNER in 9:23 - Canadian Dragon
FIRECHILD vs. AX-MAN
Firechild enters first, looking a lot happier to be in singles action compared to his demeaning tag team servitude. 'Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun' kicks in and Ax-Man makes his entrance to a rapturous response from the crowd. Firechild claps his former stable mate to the ring as Ax slides in and they go nose to nose. Ax jaws away for a second, and then pulls back his arm to punch, then laughs and extends his arm. Firechild grins broadly and accepts the shake. The crowd responds warmly, as Firechild nods to Ax and clearly says 'let's do this.' They circle for a second then lock up with Firechild gaining an early advantage that Russ puts down to his current ring experience compared to Ax's ring rust. Firechild works Ax into a headlock, but Ax manages to get some momentum and shoots Firechild to the ropes and drops him with a shoulder block as he comes back. Ax gores to drop an elbow, but Firechild rolls aside, gets to his feet and aims a shining wizard at Ax as he gets up. Ax rolls aside and 'Child's swing hits air. Ax gets to his feet as Firechild turns, and the crowd applaud as Russ brings up the familiarity of these two stars, making a point to say that Ax's training and mentorship helped Firechild form his ring style on entering the OOWF. Firechild laughs as they lock up again, but Ax slips into a hammerlock, and grabs control of Firechild's arm, and taps his head with his free hand, to the amusement of the crowd. Firechild is looking less than impressed, and reaches back and takes Ax over with a hip toss, but Ax holds onto the hold! Firechild is down and suffering from an arm bar as Ax ratchets it up. Firechild makes the ropes, and Ax lets go straight away. Ax waits for Flame to get to his feet and shake the rust out of his shoulder, then attacks the arm again, he manages to wrench the arm, and hit a killer German suplex, with Fairchild’s arm trapped behind his back, and Flame takes a while to get to his feet this time. Russ starts talking about Ax's scientific approach as he waits for Firechild to be ready again before hooking him, and nailing a nasty rib breaker! Russ notes that Ax having disabled Flame's arm is now softening up his ribs for his preferred moonsault finishing move. Firechild is hugging his ribs, as Ax nails an atomic drop, and sets him for a backdrop as the Aussie winds up his five moves of doom. However, Firechild wriggles free from the back drop, kicks Ax in the gut, and goes for the DevilDriver, but his arm gives way. Ax elbows his way clear and spins Firechild, agai9n looking for the backdrop but Firechild elbows back, rocking Ax and hooks him for the Wings of the Phoenix! However, Ax has the move scouted and twists his arm free and levels Firechild with a lariat. Firechild is down and breathless, as Ax mounts the second rope and drops an elbow drop onto Firechild's hurt ribs. Ax laughs and plays up to the crowd as Firechild wriggles to his feet to continue the fight. Ax reels him in, blocks the first, weak punch from the injured left arm, steps inside Firechild's guard and lifts him and drops him with a Death Valley Driver! Firechild is down and out and Ax poses for a second then runs across the ring, jumps OVER Firechild's prone form and to the top rope before launching a picture perfect moonsault that hits the mat hard as Firechild rolls away. Ax is winded as he bounces to his feet and Firechild grabs him with a Diamond Cutter that he twists in mid air into a Code breaker style move, driving his knees into Ax's falling face (which as Russ notes was his original OOWF finisher, before he joined the 3 Piece Set, and Ax won't have it scouted.) The move gets a nice 'ohhh' from the crowd as Firechild covers for the 1-2-3 to progress! WINNER in 8:18 via pin-fall is FIRECHILD.
After he gets his hand raised, Firechild helps Ax to his feet and raises HIS hand and leads the crowd in applause of his semi-retired former friend. Chants of '3 Piece Set, 3 Piece Set' echo around the arena as Firechild and Ax head to the back, chatting about times past. Ax goes through the curtain, and Firechild turns to look at the crowd, enjoying that winning feeling, when MacCappington and Lance come out behind him and Lance drops him with a cattle prod! MacCappington briefly grabs a mike and reminds the crowd that 'this is how you deal with an unruly, and uncouth servant, with ideas above his station!' Lance applauds MacCappington's words and drags the unconscious Firechild to the back as MacCappington laughs and soaks up the hatred from the crowd.
CAPELLAN vs. RABBXT
The strains of Queen’s “I Want it All” fill the arena, as the crowd-favorite Capellan makes his way to the ring area. He slaps hands with the fans, and even has a picture taken at some point, as several kids on the way to the ring are rocking Capellan Glasses. Capellan makes his way in and does a little bit of posing and playing to the crowd before taking off his sunglasses and tucking them in Sterling Glaw’s pocket. “Til I Collapse” by Eminem fires up through the speakers and Rabbxt appears at the top of the ramp. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction, but they rise to their feet in unison as if they just realized what this match’s potential could be, and start to clap along with the song. Rabbxt sullenly walks down the ramp, and comes down alone; apparently DEA had better things to do during his match. He stops halfway down the ramp and does a standing front flip, to the cheers of the fans around him. He gets to the ring, and does a flying front tuck somersault onto the apron, and a glorious front layout over the rope and on his feet. Capellan smirks and nods in approval and sticks out his fist. Rabbxt looks at it dubiously, but eventually bumps knuckles with Capellan, much to the delight of Glaw. Both men back into opposite corners and Glaw walks to the middle of the ring, calls for the bell, and WE’RE UNDERWAY. The two slowly walk toward each other at first. Capellan appears to move a little faster, so he’s out of position when Rabbxt goes into a tuck and does a forward roll on the mat, hops up, and lands two quick right hands under Capellan’s chin, stunning him. A hard chop sends Capellan back a step, and Rabbxt hits a Standing Drop Kick and lands on his feet. Capellan is forced into the ropes, but comes out with his feet under him, and leaps for a Flying Burrito, but Rabbxt grabs his arm and turns into a BIG release arm drag. Capellan scrambles to his feet, with his hand on his back, and grins, as if to say “All right, let’s do this, then”. They walk toward each other again, and Rabbxt goes into his Tuck Forward Mat Roll again, but this time Capellan stops short, and when Rabbxt gets to his feet, Capellan Sweeps Rabbxt’s Legs and gains the upper hand. While Rabbxt is prone on the mat, Capellan peppers him with chops and kicks, with Rabbxt on his back, doing his best to defend himself against the assault. Eventually, Rabbxt gets tired of getting kicked in the ribs repeatedly, and he kips up. Bad idea. Capellan LEVELS him with a monstrous clothesline. Working quickly, Capellan springboards into the ropes and hits a SUN-TZU FLIP. He hooks the leg and covers, 1, 2, No. Capellan refuses to lose his advantage, and quickly grabs Rabbxt up and sets up for a VINDICATOR. He goes for the Sit-Out, but in MID-AIR Rabbxt unfolds himself, and quickly collects his wits and hits a BASEMENT DROPKICK TO THE JAW. Ow. Rabbxt knows he’s got to work much faster now, and he lands a DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD SENTON. He scrambles to cover, 1,2, No. Capellan looks pretty hurt as Rabbxt demonstrably tries to figure out his next move. STANDING 450 PHOENIX SPLASH. Cover. 1, 2, No. STANDING CORKSCREW 540 SENTON! Cover. 1, 2, No. Rabbxt slaps the mat in frustration and stares daggers into Glaw, who points to the OOWF logo on his shirt, and back at Rabbxt. Rabbxt stands in the middle of the ring planning for a moment. He runs the ropes, and lands a ROLLING THUNDER! Cover! 1, 2, No. Rabbxt slaps both hands on the mat, visibly says “Screw this” and heads for the nearest top rope. Rabbxt one hops from the mat to the top turnbuckle, signals to the crowd, and tries for a 450 SHOOTING STAR PRESS, but Capellan got his KNEES UP! Ow. That one had to hurt. Capellan clears the cobwebs as Rabbxt writhes in pain on the mat. Glaw is about to start a count, but now Capellan leaps up runs toward the ropes, lands and HITS A SPRINGBOARD SENTON of his own. That looked like it took a lot out of Rabbxt. Capellan doesn’t cover, but instead heads for the top turnbuckle himself. MACHO MAN ELBOW! Cover 1, 2, NO! Rabbxt somehow got a shoulder up. Capellan thinks for a second, and runs the ropes away from Rabbxt, who slowly gets to his feet. Capellan comes up with a Missile Dropkick attempt but Rabbxt, who was up against the ropes, gives Capellan the LOW BRIDGE, and Capellan flies all the way to the barrier. Rabbxt, still holding the ropes, lets go and hops the top turnbuckle again, but this time facing the crowd. He eyes his target, as the already hot crowd gets even hotter. One more look at a recovering Capellan, and he takes off, trying for a DOUBLE SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE MAT OUTSIDE THE RING! Capellan, however, catches him mid-air, and hits an UNBELIEVABLY HUGE POWER SLAM ON THE MAT! Momentum certainly carried that move, and the “Holy Shitters” start up. Capellan, taking a moment to catch his breath, walks over to the ring to break the count of Glaw. He does so, and stands to try a DOUBLE JUMP SPRINGBOARD NO HANDS PLANCHA on the recovering Rabbxt, but Rabbxt (kind of) catches HIM mid-air, and hits a FALLAWAY SLAM ON THE BARRIER. Crowd dug that one, because it was all one move. Rabbxt hobbles slightly over to the ring to break the count, and does so, rolling back out to the floor. He looks around, looks up, and the camera crane, about 30 feet up. No. Yes. Rabbxt goes through the crowd, and shimmies up the camera crane to the top, crowd chanting “Holy Shit” in unison, before Rabbxt even does anything. Rabbxt manages to steady himself on the top of the camera crane, and surveys his situation; about 35 feet up, and about 15 feet away. The camera on the crane is getting an unbelievable angle on this one. Rabbxt looks around the crowd, soaking up the cheers. He looks up to the sky, closes his eyes and attempts an 810 SPLASH FROM THE CAMERA CRANE TO CAPELLAN 15 FEET AWAY ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING….AND HITS! Crowd is BATSHIT with “Holy Shit” chants, about a million times faster than normal. Both men appear motionless on the floor, and Glaw, who apparently watched the whole thing unfold, and forgot there was a count. And, being the fair and honest referee he is; since he forgot where he was in the count, he starts over at 1. Good thing. At the count of 8, Rabbxt manages to get to his feet, roll in, and break the count. Then somehow, gets to his feet, and DOUBLE JUMP SPRINGBOARD SEATED SENTON onto Capellan. Crowd continues its batshitiness. Again, Glaw is on a count, and this time Rabbxt drags a motionless Capellan to the ring. He rolls Capellan in first, before rolling in himself. He crawls over to Capellan, hooks the leg, and Covers…1, 2, NO!!! Rabbxt collapses on his back in frustration as the Crowd gets even louder as it appears Capellan survived all that. Glaw starts yet another double count, and Rabbxt pulls himself up by the ropes at 6. Rabbxt visibly looks like he’s thinking “What else do I have to do?” He leans back into the ropes and hits a HOGAN LEG DROP! Hooks the leg, Cover, 1, 2, NO! Rabbxt slaps the mat 3 or 4 times and is absolutely incensed. He stands up and heads for another top turnbuckle. However, with Rabbxt’s back turned, a Possum-Playing Capellan does an Angle-esque run-up-the-turnbuckles move, and clasps his hands around the waist of Rabbxt just as HE reaches the top rope. Crowd heats up again. Capellan pauses dramatically before he lands a RELEASE GERMAN SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE! “Holy Shit” and…more “Holy Shit”. Both men take a minute to get up. Capellan charges and hits a beautiful Judo throw, and Rabbxt looks like he’s in trouble. Capellan looks at Rabbxt, looks at the top turnbuckle, and, as Rabbxt gets to his feet, Capellan hits a SPINNING DRAGON KICK square in Rabbxt’s chest. Wasting no time, Capellan quickly hooks the far leg and Covers. 1, 2, 3! Just as Rabbxt kicks out, Glaw calls for the bell. Rabbxt looks pissed for a second, but looks over at Capellan, who gives Rabbxt a point, nod, and APPLAUSE OF RESPECT for his effort. After Glaw raises Capellan’s hand and bails; Capellan goes over to Rabbxt, grabs Rabbxt’s wrist before he can do anything about it, and raises it to the sky and starts to point at Rabbxt. The Crowd, still on its feet, rises as one in appreciation, including “Let’s Go Rabbxt!” chants scattered throughout the arena. Capellan lets go and offers his hand, and Rabbxt gives him the HANDSHAKE OF RESPECT. One quick gheyish man-hug later, Capellan bails, leaving Rabbxt to soak up any remaining cheers. WINNER BY PINFALL IN 37:18 – CAPELLAN!
LUCIOS vs. SERAPH
Seraph makes his way to the ring, and kneels in the corner awaiting his opponent. Lucios makes his way to the ring slowly, still feeling the effects of 3 brutal matches this past Sunday. They lock up and Lucios powers Seraph into the corner. Lucios blisters Seraph with chops, and then whips him across the ring and Stinger Splashes the smaller man. Lucios follows up with a scoop slam and a big leg drop. Lucios covers and gets 1 before Seraph gets a shoulder up. Seraph tumbles away from Lucios and gets to his feet. Lucios grabs Seraph and whips him into the ropes, but Seraph bounces off with a body press. The referee doesn’t even get into position to count the pin before Lucios is up and pounding away on Seraph again. The tag team specialist hoists the smaller man up and gorilla press slams him to the mat. Lucios tries to lock in the Deathgrip, but Seraph makes it to the ropes and crawls to the apron. Seraph ducks a punch; head butts Lucios in the gut, and dives over the ropes and catches Lucios with a sunset flip. The referee counts 1…2…and Lucios rolls out before the 3-count. Seraph tries to a body slam, but Lucios shifts his weight and small packages Seraph. As the referee gets into position, Seraph reverses his weight and reaches out and grabs the ropes for leverage. The referee doesn’t see it and makes a count 1..2..3. WINNER in 4:12, Seraph.
After the bell, Seraph kneels in prayer and Lucios kicks him in the head from behind, picks him up, hits a vertical delay gordbuster, and storms away.
Tournament of Champions
OUTBACK JACK vs. DAVIN MORELAND
The crowd is hyped for this Second-Round Match in the OOWF Tournament of Champions. Angelo Barros is set to go in the ring and motions for the announcer. “Pull Me Under” blares through the PA system with accompanying pyrotechnics and the OOWF Onslaught Champion Davin Moreland comes out to the top of the ramp to the cheer of the Canadian crowd. Moreland heads down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans; although it looks like he has a slight limp, likely due to his previous match. Instead of doing the IMPRESSIVE DOUBLE LEAPS, he simply goes up the stairs and through the ropes. He poses and acknowledges the crowd on all the turnbuckles, and is obviously trying to loosen up and stretch; bouncing off the ropes a few times. AC/DC’s “TNT”, complete with pyro starts the entrance for our next participant, OOWF Intercontinental Champion Outback Jack. He gets a huge pop from the crowd as well, as he makes his way down the ramp, beer in tow. He slaps hands with the crowd with one hand, and is pounding his beer with the other. Jack looks none the worse for wear after his match, as he climbs the stairs, heads through the ropes, and kills his beer; chucking the can into the crowd when he’s through. Both Champions stare each other down a bit before mutually nodding and bumping knuckles, to the roar of the crowd. They head to neutral corners. Barros feels we’re set to go, and calls for the bell. WE’RE UNDERWAY! Collar and Elbow tie up to start. Both men are close in weight, but Moreland has a huge height advantage and is able to leverage Outback Jack to his knees. Davin holds it there for a second, driving down on Jack’s shoulders, before giving Jack a sharp, quick kick to the gut; and Moreland takes Outback Jack down with a front chancery. Davin wears down Outback Jack for a few seconds, but you can see the wheels turning. Quick as a cat, Davin floats over and pulls at Jack’s arm while holding the chin lock, and is trying for a Crossface; but Jack rolls through and is able to put Moreland in a prone hammerlock. Jack holds for a second himself, and then decides to try for a Croc Hunter; but Davin is somehow able to flip his legs over his head, set, and bridge up while Outback Jack maintains the hammerlock. Nice little mat spot. Now standing, Davin, still in the hammerlock, slaps his shoulder twice (why do they do that?), and then quickly goes to his knees and turns his body, causing Jack to be taken over; but Jack is still managing to hold a wristlock, and goes with an arm-wringer. Davin reverses but Jack reverses back; and Davin drops to his knees again. Outback Jack takes advantage and lifts his legs up and locks on a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Davin may be in real trouble, because that arm has GOT to be hurting right now. Referee Barros slides over to check to see if Davin wants to give. Davin, of course, shakes him off; and after a good 2 minutes, Moreland is able to reach the ropes; and Barros calls for a break. He’s got to count to 3 before Jack backs off. Moreland uses the ropes to pull himself up, and he tries to shake out his arm.
Outback Jack allows Moreland to get to his feet before charging right at him. Unfortunately, he charges right into a WICKED CLOTHESLINE with Davin’s good arm, and is knocked to the mat. Jack is back up quickly as Moreland is unable to follow up; still hurting from previously. Both men stand neutrally and lock up once more. This time, Outback Jack is able to get the upper hand, and pulls Davin’s left arm into yet another arm-wringer. Moreland is obviously hurting from even a basic move like this. Jack cranks the arm up one more time; but Davin has had enough and hits a STIFF STANDING ENZIGURI and Jack falls to the mat. Again, Moreland is having a difficult time capitalizing as he tries to recover from his already messed up shoulder and arm. Outback Jack gets back to his feet, and both men charge each other again to lockup, but this time as Jack reaches for the tie-up; Davin kicks him in the gut for a KICK-WHAM-DDT! Davin still doesn’t have enough to try for a cover, but does manage to get to his feet. He runs the ropes and hits a BIG Legdrop to the back of the head. This time Moreland flips Jack for the cover: 1, NO! Davin pulls Outback Jack up to his feet with his bad arm and starts to rain BIG RIGHT HANDS to the top of Outback Jack’s head. Whip to the far ropes and Davin runs the opposite ropes in a criss-cross spot. He goes for a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Jack saw it coming and counters by ducking and hitting a DEEP ARMDRAG. Outback Jack is quick to follow up, and whips Moreland into the corner and, taking no chances, follows him in and hits a BIG SPLASH IN THE CORNER. Moreland is woozy. Jack hops on the bottom turnbuckle and starts a MOUNT PUNCH. The crowd chants along until Outback Jack reaches his 8th punch to Davin’s head, when Davin’s decided he’s had enough. He gets his hands under Jack’s armpits, and lifts him as high as he can before he flies out of the corner with a RUNNING SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! My goodness. Davin collects his thoughts before he covers, 1, 2, NO! Moreland wastes no time and jumps back on Outback Jack, nailing him with a couple of clubbing blows to the back of the head before pulling a spaghetti-legged Jack into the corner. Davin now hops on the turnbuckle and starts a MOUNT PUNCH. He and the crowd get to 6 before Outback Jack is able to grab Moreland around the waist, leverage him, and BACK BODY DROPS HIM OVER THE TURNBUCKLE AND OUT OF THE RING! Ho-lee-shit. Jack takes a second and rolls out of the ring, going after Moreland. Davin just landed with a sickly thud and is not lying normally. Jack walks up the ring steps, leaps, and BURIES a BIG KNEE into Moreland’s back. Jack picks Davin up now, and for the first time we see Moreland SPORTING THE CRIMSON MASK, and we got ourselves a gusher. A couple of right hands to where Davin has been busted open; and Jack turns to WHIP DAVIN INTO THE STEEL STEPS! Outback Jack rolls into the ring to break the count, and rolls immediately back out. He stalks Moreland, grabs his left arm; positions it around the ring post, and pulls and DRIVES MORELAND’S SHOULDER INTO THE STEEL RING POST! Davin just slumps over into a seated position, his head resting against the apron. Outback Jack rolls back into the ring and back out again right away. He goes back over to Moreland, who hasn’t moved. He reaches down and grabs Davin’s shoulders to pull him up; but Moreland uses the leverage to SLAM HIS FOREHEAD INTO OUTBACK JACK’S NOSE! Yup. It’s broken. Blood is pouring down Jack’s face now, and he has no choice but to return to the ring. A bloodied, bruised, broken and limping Moreland is able to get to his feet and gets back into the ring on Barros’ count of 9. Jack is obviously pissed off his nose is broken, so when he sees Moreland, he runs the ropes and hits a perfect BASEBALL SLIDE on Davin. It was so good in fact, that Moreland flies all the way to the announce table and smashes into it. Ouch. Crowd is batshitting itself. Outback Jack is bleeding profusely, but apparently he’s not done! What’s he doing? No. Outback Jack tries for a SLINGSHOT PLANCHA OVER THE TOP ROPE…AND HITS! That seemed to take a lot out of both men, and they both lay prone against the announce table. Angelo Barros is counting very slowly, because no one wants a double count-out at this point. He reaches a very slow 5 count before Outback Jack is able to pull up a very bloodied Davin, and it looks like this isn’t just a blade job, folks. He’s still bleeding. Before Jack heads to the ring; he takes care to smash Moreland’s head off the announce table twice, before getting to the ring at 8. Outback Jack pulls Moreland to his feet, and whips him into the far ropes. Jack charges. BOOMERANG! That’s got to be it. Jack just flops on top of Davin for the cover: 1, 2, th…NO! HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT! Jack is absolutely beside himself that the match isn’t over. Crowd is batshit to end all batshit. Outback Jack slowly gets to his feet, runs the ropes and hits a DOUBLE LEG DROP! That’s it. 1, 2, th..NO!! No way. Jack is just stupefied. He rolls over and just starts to pummel Davin’s mush for a head with rights, lefts, elbows and headbutts; easily 25 in the combination. When Outback Jack is satisfied he’s done enough; he hooks the far leg and covers: 1, 2, th…NO!!! Crowd is gravitating from batshit to apeshit now. Jack now gets in Angelo Barros’ face, slapping his hands together for the universal “That was a 3-count” sign. Barros shakes his head and point to the OOWF logo on his chest for the universal “Don’t screw with me I’m the referee” sign. While the two argue; Davin Moreland is somehow able to sit up, moves slowly toward Outback Jack, reaches up, and PULLS HIM DOWN FOR THE ROLLUP! 1,2,NO! Jack slaps his hand on the mat as he was caught not paying attention. The bloody Outback Jack methodically goes back to Moreland and goes to pull him up by his hair; but Davin is somehow back among the living; and QUICKLY locks on the MARK HENRY MEMORIAL ARMBAR! Jack may be in trouble. How much does Davin have left? After 20 seconds or so; an exhausted Outback Jack gets to the ropes and gets the break. Both men are finally on their feet once again. The two charge each other and go for a shoulderblock. Outback Jack hits the mat. Davin stares for a second (and why do they do that?) before running the ropes. The first time Davin leaps over Outback Jack, he hits the far ropes, and as Jack gets to his feet, Moreland hits a FLYING BURRITO! Moreland KIPS UP! Crowd is losing their voice at this point. Davin’s goin’ up! From the top rope, Davin measures the prone body of Jack and TAKES OFF for a 450 SHOOTING STAR PRESS…AND HITS! The Crowd LOVES that move from the big man. Does Davin have enough to cover? He gets to Jack, hooks a leg, 1, 2, th..NO! HE KICKED OUT! Crowd is beyond crazy. Davin manages to get up. He runs the ropes. SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! COVER! 1, 2, NO! Davin wastes no time. He stands up and picks up the right leg of Outback Jack…holding it. “WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!” screams Davin, and…YES! HE LOCKS ON A FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! Jack, already weakened, is having a real tough time here near the middle of the ring. The only way he can get out of this…yes…is TURNING OVER AND REVERSING THE PRESSURE! Now Davin is in trouble! After a few seconds, he manages to get out of it, and limps to his feet. Outback Jack, too, gets to his feet; but by the time he’s up, Davin has already run the ropes past him and hits a DOUBLE JUMP BACK ELBOW! Jack doesn’t fall, but he’s hurt. Davin runs the opposite ropes, measures, and HITS THE REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! I think the crowd collectively just peed themselves in glee. Jack is DONE! Davin is DONE! Both are still bleeding profusely! Davin manages to crawl slowly over to Outback Jack. Somehow, he flops an arm over the lifeless body of Outback Jack. An exhausted Barros slides in for the count: 1, 2, 3. It’s over. WINNER in 30:12 – Davin Moreland
The crowd is collectively on its feet as one, applauding the efforts of the two Champions. It appears Jack and Davin may be talking to each other while prone. Davin gets up first, VERY slowly, but before he takes the arm of Angelo Barros, he reaches down and pulls Outback Jack to his feet. The crowd starts to chant: “THAT WAS AWESOME!” *clap clap clapclapclap*. Somewhere, DevilSoprano is crying. Davin extends his hand for the HANDSHAKE OF RESPECT…and Outback Jack nods and takes it! Crowd loves it. Barros hands both men their belts and raises the arm of Davin Moreland, to the adulation of the crowd. Davin though, is not satisfied, and STRONGLY REQUESTS that Barros raise Outback Jack’s hand as well. He does so, and the crowd loves this too.
<we cut to the back>
WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
OOWF-TV is live at Ric’s Sandwich Shop, in Guelph, Ontario Canada (mandatory cheap pop!). Ric is styling and profiling, making sandwiches and dropping elbows for a couple of local OOWF one-night contract jobbers, when suddenly…
Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster walk into the screen shot.
RF: WHOOOO!!!!!!! It’s good to see you boys back! The place hasn’t been the same without you. Sales are down, especially the sandwiches, AA. Hey there, you’ve lost some weight, AA. WHOOO!!!!! No longer Fat Boy!!!!
AA: Yeah, that’s real funny, Old Man.
RF: Old Man! Old Man! You can’t call me Old Man! You’re already Old! Old! I’m already old! Abuse! Of! Power!
AA: Oh, wow. You still got the solid promo skills, don’t you. Same skills, same shop. Same stable of…hey, wait a second…it’s NOT the same stable of guys, is it, Ric?
RF: Loser Leaves Town! Arrested! WHOOOO!!!!! Out of the OOWF!!!! Had to do something!!!! (Flair rips off his sports jacket and starts strutting behind the sandwich counter.)
JA: So “something” was start hanging out with the resident psycho Davin Moreland and the two whining, crying “tag team specialists,” Phantos and Lucios? They don’t even have a tag team name! It’s a far cry from when you were hanging with The Heels. Must be a bummer.
RF: You guys gone! Sandwich business slow! Exploring other options!!! You know the OOWF doesn’t pay well.
JA: Oh, we know. In fact, The Rick has still yet to see fit to offer us a contract that’s even worth sneezing on. We’re free agents.
AA: Free agents who just happen to be carrying these. (Holds up the OOWF tag team title belts.)
JA: So until The Rick does, we’re just going to randomly make our point. (JA stares at the local jobbers, who start to back away.) No, no, no. You guys just stay here. We’re not going to harm you. Beating up jobbers is the resume for others around here. When we beat people up, it means something. You know about that, huh, Ric?
RF: WHOOO!!!!!!! Beat down of Dusty Rhodes! Broke his arm in a car door! Attacked him inside a cage with Ole Anderson!!! Good times!!!!!
AA: Ah yeah, good times. And don’t forget what we did to Sam Houston and the Rock n Roll Express in the NWA.
RF: WHOOO!!!! Rubbed Ricky Morton’s nose in the concrete until he bled!!!!
AA: Yeah, good times. We’ve beaten up a lot of people. Well, Johnny and I have to get out of here before we’re recognized by the authorities. That Medicine Man thing keeps coming up every time were up in this piss-poor excuse for a country.
RF: WHOOO!!!!!!! Good seeing you guys again!!! Hey!!! Fat Boys!! Got something for you!! (Ric pulls from behind the counter two foot-long submarine sandwiches.) WHOOO!!!! Turkey, roast beef and swiss on—By GAWD, MEAN GENE!!!!!—SOUR!! DOUGH!!! WHOOOO!!!!
JA: Ahh, Ric. That’s nice. AA, look, he made us sandwiches.
AA stares at the sandwich.
AA: He also called me fat boy.
JA: You’re right.
And The Heels pounce, slamming Ric in the head with the OOWF tag team titles! The Heels beat down Flair unmercifully, also tossing around the jobbers like, well, jobbers. You know, running their heads into various random objects. AA squirts mustard in one jobber’s eyes before adjusting his glove and slapping on The Claw! The jobber’s face is quickly a mix of yellow and red. Ewwww!!! If this were the WWF in the 80s, it would be pixilated. Meanwhile, Johnny is beating the hell out of Flair with various sandwich making utensils, then picks up the limp old, white-haired, has-been and sets him for a pile driver while AA hops up on the sandwich counter. SPIKE PILEDRIVER!!!!!!!!! Flair bleeds at 1.0 Muta and quivers like D-Von Dudley. Finally reinforcements come to the scene and JA and AA back off slowly, admiring their work.
AA: He still bleeds well, doesn’t he?
JA: Ehh, he used to be better at that, too. Has been.
OOWF Invitational Round 1
F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON vs. BEAST
MacCappington enters first, with Lance and disrobes in the ring, and an expression of extreme distaste crosses his face as Vincent Price's monologue announces Beast's entrance. The crowd are cheering as the monologue finishes. The arena lights go down, and then back up and BEAST is behind MacCappington in the ring as the familiar Maiden riff kicks in. Lance turns, and shrieks like a girl before bailing out of the ring. MacCappington turns, still sneering and Beats nails him in the face with a straight right hand. He ignores the referee's admonishment and continues a brutal assault on the still shocked MacCappington. He beats MacCappington back to the ropes the whips him across the ring. On the way back, Beast grabs MacCappington and tosses him bodily over the top rope! MacCappington is dazed at ringside as Beast rolls down, and is helpless to avoid being whipped hard into the barricade. Beast roars and winds up the BIG MONSTER HAMMER CLUB O'DEATH!! MacCappington dives out of the way and Beast crashes through the barricade! MacCappington drags himself to his feet as Beast shakes himself out of the wreckage at ringside. Beast follows MacCappington who pushes Lance into the path of the monster. Beast looks at Lance like he is lunch, and pushes him aside, only for MacCappington to use the distraction to charge Beast and rock him with a series of stiff blows. Beast gives ground, allowing MacCappington to whip him over the ring steps, Beast taking the blow HARD ion his knees. MacCappington straightens himself out and swaggers up to the downed Beast. He picks him up and looks to drop him with a Greetings From Pacific Heights onto the mats. Beast wriggles over his shoulder though and sends him face first into the ring post. MacCappington staggers back, blood issuing from a graze on his forehead and Beast kicks out his legs from behind. Beast roars again, and drags a folding table from under the ring and sets it up in front of the announce position. He sets MacCappington on the table, just as Lance smashes him over the head with a steel chair. Beast no sells the blow, and grabs Lance by the lapels and tosses him bodily into the crowd, where he lies in a mangled wreck. MacCappington stirs on the table as Beast gets on it, and lifts him into a pile driver position, and Beast DRIVES MacCappington through the table! Both men lie in the wreckage, until Beast stirs, and laboriously lifts MacCappington and rolls him back into the ring. He takes his time getting in himself and rolls over for the cover for 1-2 NO! Beast is less than happy, and rolls out of the ring and claims another table, slides it into the ring and sets it up in the corner. Beast picks MacCappington up, and although he struggles briefly a few head butts settle him down. At that point LOADED run to ringside, and Beast stands in the ring and DARES them to come in, the referee goes to the apron and orders them to the back as Beast laughs and starts to wind up the BIG MONSTER HAMMER CLUB O'DEATH!! As he charges in however, Lance tosses some chalk dust into his eyes from ringside as a less-than-comatose MacCappington dives to the side, and Beast mashes himself through the table! As Beast recoils back, with the splintered table still stuck around him, Lance tosses MacCappington some brass knuckles and he plants a HUGE blow on Beast's temple. Beast is rocked but doesn't go down, however MacCappington still has enough to nail the Greetings From Pacific Heights as the referee turns back to the action and flop over for the narrow 1-2-3. WINNER in 7:29 via pin-fall is F. Fonzworth MacCappington III
MacCappington bails out of the ring, and has his arm raised on the outside as LOADED surround him, while Beast fumes with barely contained rage in the ring.
CHRIS COLE vs. BLITZ
"The Main Event" Chris Cole is first down the ramp. He slides into the ring and mounts the second rope, raising his arms up. His music is cut and Blitz is out on the stage. The Nerve Agent isn't with him, probably busy playing Call of Duty 4. Blitz enters the ring by himself and the starting bell sounds. The two go in for a tie-up, but Blitz kicks Chris Cole in the groin, sending him to his knees. He runs and bounces off the ropes, then goes for the Shiner and quick finish. Cole blocks the move, then hits a shin breaker on Blitz. He keeps a hold of his leg, then takes him down with a dragon screw. Blitz is grounded and holding his leg. Cole stomps on Blitz's leg a little bit, before locking him into a Half Boston Crab, working on the same leg. He lets the pain sink in before relinquishing the hold. He puts Blitz into a heel lock, applying all the pressure he can. Blitz is able to crawl to the ropes and Cole releases the hold. Blitz crawls to the outside of the ring to gain his composure. Chris Cole waits, inside the ring, for Blitz to come back in. The referee reaches 7, then Blitz rolls back into the ring. He gets to his feet, but is favoring his right leg. He rushes Cole, but is send face first into the mat with a drop toehold. Cole floats over into a front face lock, then pulls Blitz to his feet. Blitz is able to pry Cole off him and hit him with a few right hands. Cole hits back, but gets thrown into the ropes by Blitz. On the rebound, Blitz hits the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He grabs his leg in pain for a moment, then goes for the pin, but Cole kicks out at 2. Blitz stands up and goes for a standing moonsault, but Cole gets his knees up. Cole keeps Blitz on top of his knees, then turns him over onto his back. He pulls back on Blitz's head and legs with a bow-and-arrow hold. Blitz grunts in pain. Cole releases the hold, but keeps his control over Blitz as he gets to his feet. He pulls Blitz to his feet, then hits him with a quick lungblower. Blitz sells it like a champion and rolls under the bottom rope, lying on the apron. Chris Cole reaches over the top rope and grabs Blitz, trying to bring him to his feet. Blitz hits Cole with a perfectly placed right hand, sending Cole stumbling backwards. Blitz gets to his feet in a flash, then nails Cole with a springboard dropkick. Both men are down and the referee counts. Both men get to their feet at a count of 6. They trade blows. Blitz blocks one and follows up with multiples of his own. He hammers Cole into the ropes, then whips him into the opposites. Cole goes for a clothesline on the rebound, but Blitz ducks it and hits a swift neck breaker. Cole is down and Blitz climbs to the top rope. He takes a lot of time to jump, still favoring his right leg. Cole is able to spot the Blitz Flip coming and gets the knees up. Blitz slams onto them hard and bounces off. Chris Cole hooks the leg and the referee counts it. WINNER in 10:21 - "The Main Event" Chris Cole
DAMON WRATH vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE
AE is already in the ring as The Mirror by Dream Theatre hits the PA and Damon Wrath makes his entrance. That can't be a very good sign. Wrath starts things out with a few jabs and kicks, showing off his MMA style. AE is able to fight Wrath off for just a moment and whips Damon into the ropes. Wrath responds with a vicious spear that sends AE hard into the mat. Wrath pounces and begins pummeling Apocalyptic Existence. The referee has to pull Wrath off, allowing AE to get to his feet and hit Wrath with a clothesline. Damon Wrath looks none to happy about it and immediately gets to his feet. He catches AE with a huge high angle belly-to-belly suplex. AE staggers to his feet and ducks a clothesline by Wrath. AE tries to fight back and gets in a few punches before Wrath grabs his arm and twists. He's got AE in a standing arm bar and it's Lights Out! The kick sends AE to the mat and Damon Wrath makes the cover. 1, 2, 3. WINNER in 3:57 - Damon Wrath
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 18:11:48 GMT -5
b]DH MAGNUSSON vs. THIM REYNOLDS[/b] These two waste no time at all and have it out at the bell, lefts and rights galore before Reynolds kicks DHM in the gut to slow it down. To the ropes, but Magnusson explodes back with a shoulder block. DHM stomps TR in the corner, but Reynolds fights up, then Magnusson takes him right back down with a STIFF right hand. Reynolds to the floor to shake that one off, and indeed, it appears he's bleeding above the eye. Back in, and Reynolds tries to turn it from a brawl into an actual wrestling match by taking DHM to the mat. Front face lock, and DHM fights up, but Reynolds suplexes him right back down. Magnusson fights out of a Cobra clutch, but Reynolds stiffs him in the back of the head to take him back down and cinch the hold back in. Reynolds locks it in extra tight, and Magnusson goes to the ropes to break. Reynolds and Magnusson have words upon the break and we get another slug out, and they're just hammering the shit outta each other. Magnusson with some forearms to regain the advantage, but Reynolds takes him right back to the mat. ADJUSTOR~! But Magnusson rolls over before Thim can lock it in and just LEVELS him with a right hand. DHM to his feet as Thim staggers around and Magnusson drills him with an Alabama Slam. Cover and referee Junior Hale makes a fast three count. Me thinks we may have just had a shoot. WINNER in 8:49: D.H. MAGNUSSON DONOVAN VIPER vs. ALEXANDER DARLINGThe unmistakable sound of Alice in Chains “Angry Chair” starts and the one and only Donovan Viper comes out from the back by himself. The rest of LOADED must be staying in the back for this one. As Viper makes his way down to the ring, one has to wonder if Darling is going to follow suit and leave The DEA in the back. Donnie’s in a foul mood as he gets in the ring. Fresh off losing the IC title on Sunday, I know I wouldn’t want to be Alexander Darling getting ready to face off with one of the OOWF greats; a former 2-time Onslaught Champ, the recent IC Champ, and a former World Champ…he’s going to be looking to get back to winning starting tonight. And it starts against this man; “There Can Be Only One” booms over the sound system as the lights go dark except for the white strobe as “Prelude 12/21” by AFI starts. The drum hits and out steps Alexander Darling with his brand new face guard. Flanking him are two of the sluttiest blondes ever and a step behind him is the ever present Alexis Darling. But no Firewoman or Rabbxt; so it does look like it will be a pretty straight fight here between Viper and Darling. The Darling twins with the sluts begin to make their way down the aisle as Queen’s “Princes of the Universe” plays. Alexander leaves his 3 title belts with Alexis as he gets in the ring and jumps up on the ropes taunting the crowd. This crowd is torn between chanting “HOMO” at Viper and “ASSHOLE” at Darling. Darling and Viper look at each other and both start laughing at the crowd. AD: I personally know Donnie over there and I know for sure he’s no homo. In fact, I bet this match is so great that he can have one of the two blondes over there when we’re done.DV: And I know Alex is no asshole. I personally know he hates going ass to mouth…Wait, I mean.The referee has had enough of this and sends the two guys to their corners. He calls for the bell and we’re underway here in the OOWF Invitational Tournament. As the two go to lock-up both try to get a quick punch in to jump the gun and neither succeed. They circle again and before locking up they try for a quick kick, but again neither succeeds. Finally they tie up and it’s a struggle before Darling sends Viper into the ropes. Viper bounces off the ropes and takes Darling down with a shoulder block. Darling up and points at Viper to try that again so AD sends him into the ropes and again DV hits a shoulder block taking AD to the mat. AD gets up again and is getting madder now as he points to the third rope. Viper just shrugs and takes a running start to the ropes, but this time Darling follows right behind and hits him with a knee as he turns around. Darling uses that move to take an early advantage. He utilizes a lot of mat work to wear down Viper, but the crowd is turning on the match as there’s not a lot of OMG ~ MOVES happening. Darling has had enough of the crowd chanting boring at his mat work that he gets up and heads outside the ring to start arguing with some fans. This lets Viper recover in the ring and as Darling slides back into the ring, Viper meets him with a kick. And not DV takes the offensive. It’s a ground game as well, but a much high impact style as he uses a few quick slams to wear down AD. He gets Darling down with a power slam and goes for the cover. He only gets a two count though. He picks Darling up by the hair and lifts him for a vertical suplex but he keeps him up the air. He holds him up there and after a few seconds the fans start counting to see how long it lasts. Once DV hears them though, he drops Darling with the suplex and gets to his feet and flips off the crowd. The crowd starts a “You’re a Homo” chant and it seems to throw Viper off his game enough for Darling to attempt a school boy from behind. Only a 2 count though. Viper gets to his feet and he and Darling start pushing each other in the chest. After a few pushes it escalates to punches and within a few moments the two are just trading punches and brawling around the ring. The referee tries to get them to stop but they ignore him as they find their way into the corner still hitting each other with rights and lefts. The ref tries to break them apart but he gets tossed to the ground as the two keep fighting. He looks like he’s about to call for the bell, but decides against it for now. What he does do is walks right in between Viper and Darling to separate them. Both AD and DV catch themselves before actually hitting the ref and AD backs up from the corner. The ref gets out of the way and DV charges Darling but gets caught with a standing dropkick from AD. Darling seems to have had enough of the mat game and is now using his indy fan’s wet dream move set starting a nice Northern Lights Suplex. Darling bridges the suplex, but only a 2 count. Darling stays on the offensive and throws Viper into the corner. Darling hesitates for a second before charging into the corner and nailing Viper with a Yakuza kick. That slap was loud and Viper looks like he just had his head taken off. Darling goes for the nonchalant cover…1, 2, and DV rolls his shoulder to avoid the pin. AD stays on the offense really doing as much as he can to keep Viper down. He scoops Viper up and hits a body slam. AD looks like he’s going to take this to the ropes. He jumps up onto the top turnbuckle. He looks for the closest camera and yells something; AD: This one’s for you E…BOOYAH!Darling jumps off the top rope and goes for a 5-star frog splash but rotates it just enough to go for a senton, but Viper moves out of the way. Darling too much time to call out his former ally there and now Viper has a chance to take control. It doesn’t take long for Viper to grab an advantage. A clothesline here, a hip toss there, and an arm drag to end the sequence and Darling is down. Viper makes the cover, but only a 2 count. DV stays on the offense and tries to pick Darling up for the GTS, but AD escapes and bounces off the ropes but before he can hit anything DV catches him with a kick to the stomach and a DDT. He goes for the cover…1, 2, and kick out by Darling but just barely. Viper drags AD to his feet again and sends him into the corner. He follows him in and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Viper follows him up and looks to be attempting a superplex. Darling is trying to fight him off so the two are trading blows. Darling finally knocks DV off the turnbuckle and as Viper lands, AD quickly jumps off and hits Viper with a double stomp. AD goes to pick up Viper, but DV catches him with a small package; the ref counts… 1…2…Two and half before the kick out. Both men to their feet and Darling charges but DV is too fast and has him up on his shoulders. Before anyone notices what’s going on Viper nails Darling with the Go2Sleep. Viper has this one locked up now. He makes the cover; one…two…th, no. Alexander Darling barely gets his leg on the ropes. Viper is furious. He thinks he should have this match won. He gets in the refs face thinking he’s been screwed again. Over near Alexander Darling we see Alexis sliding him one of the title belts he carries. Up on the opposite side of the ring the two blondes have jumped up on the apron and are calling Donnie over. To prove his manhood he goes over to them, but he’s not the only one. The ref follows him. Viper grabs one of the blondes while the ref is being distracted by the other. DV plants a deep kiss on the blonde and as he turns around you can hear him saying, DV: I told you I’m not a homo.Just as Viper finishes turning around and talking, Darling plants the DDT title belt right between Viper’s eyes. Viper’s out cold. AD takes the belt and slides it back out of the ring to Alexis. The two blondes drop from the apron to allow the ref to turn around just in time to see Darling pick up Viper and hit him with the Darling Driver. This is all academic now after the belt shot and the cutthroat driver. Darling makes the cover…1, 2, and 3. WINNER in 29:55 – Alexander Darling Alexis slides into the ring and the two Darlings hold their hands up high as Alexander Darling has just pinned one of the most decorated men in OOWF history as he moves on into the next round of the OOWF Invitational. The DEA picks up a huge win here tonight. “Prelude 12/21” starts and Alexander and Alexis Darling make their way out of the ring and into the back. LD WILLIAMS vs. BLACKDRAGONStare down and exchanging of pleasantries at the bell. Collar and elbow tie-up goes to a stalemate and they jaw at each other some more. Another go round, and Williams slips around behind and gets a takedown, but Dragon rolls thru it and then kicks LDW in the face. BD nips up and charges in for a clothesline, but Williams backdrops him over the top. Dragon lands on the apron and they slug it out before LDW goes to the eyes and suplexes BD back in. Dragon counters THAT by landing on his feet and tries to roll him up, but LDW holds onto the ropes and BD goes rolling back. LDW charges, but eats an arm drag. Then another. Williams feigns charging back, but simply rolls out to the floor to regroup. Crowd is eating this shit up. LDW back in and tries to slow things down by backing Dragon back to a corner, but BD elbows out. Bulldog is blocked though, and Williams takes him down with a belly to back suplex. Williams pulls him right back up for another, driving him sternum first into the turnbuckle before dropping Dragon on his head again. LDW pulls him back up again and tries it one more time, but this time Dragon kicks off the turnbuckle and falls back on Williams for a long two count. LDW pops right up, but misses a wild right hand and Dragon gets him with an inverted atomic drop. BD to the ropes for a clothesline, but Williams catches him and hotshots him off the top rope, and Dragon oversells it and falls out to the floor. Williams follows out and kicks BD around a little before dropping him chest first on the guardrail. Then again. Then a third time. Williams in to break the count and then back out. LDW reaches down to drag BD back up, but Dragon grabs him by the head and pulls him down and into the railing. Dragon pulls himself up and Williams groggily gets to his feet, and Dragon spears Williams back into the guardrail. Dragon up selling the ribs, and tosses Williams back in. To the turnbuckle ten times, and Dragon caps it off with a leg sweep. BD looks for a sharpshooter, but Williams punches him in the ribs to block it, then cradles him for two. LDW back in control and goes right to a modified abdominal stretch. This takes Dragon to his knees, but he's able to fight the pain and wiggle to the ropes for a break. LDW drags him away and tries to cinch it on again, but Dragon hip tosses him over. BD comes back, but Williams with a knee to the gut and Dragon sells it like he's been shot. LDW stalks him for the STF, but Dragon rolls to the floor instead. Williams out only to toss him back in and LDW ponders the STF, but opts for a bow and arrow instead. Dragon manages to wiggle free of that, and LDW stomps the back. STF attempt is countered however, with a kick to the face, but Williams answers with a jackknife rollup for two. Dragon gets to his feet and Williams takes him right back down with a left hand. STF again, but Dragon's already in the ropes, so the referee breaks it and has to pull Williams away. The slight opening allows Dragon to springboard back in with a clothesline. Backdrop. Another clothesline. Superkick! One, two, but Williams gets a foot on the rope. To the ropes, but Dragon puts his head down early. LDW looks for the DDT, but Dragon sweeps his legs out from under him and catapults him to the turnbuckle. DKO DROP~! But Williams flips out of that directly into the DDT~! But Williams can't make the cover immediately, and the delayed cover gets only two. Both guys up and we get a slugout. BD gets the better of it and sends LDW to the corner. Up top for a superplex, but Williams shifts his weight in mid air and lands right on Dragon's chest! One, two, THREE! WINNER in 23:16: L.D. WILLIAMS SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. RYAN HARDCORESeamus McNasty enters the ring first, with The Dead, the second half of Dead Drunk, by his side. Next out is Ryan Hardcore, accompanied by his own protection, Lauren Phoenix. Dead and Lauren exit the ring and stand on opposite sides, as Seamus and Hardcore go at each other. Without hesitation, they exchange hard rights and lefts. Seamus, the bigger of the two men, gets the advantage in no time. He blocks a punch by Ryan and decks him with a brutal clothesline. Ryan rolls into a corner and uses the ropes to get to his feet. He is screamed by Seamus, who runs in with a huge boot to the face of Ryan. Ryan is sent over the top rope, but manages to stay on the apron. Seamus grabs him by his black, fuchsia highlighted hair, and yanks him to his feet. He hooks in a front face lock and tries to lift Hardcore up for a suplex into the ring. Hardcore doesn't lift off and Seamus lets go of his hold. He sees Ms. Lauren Phoenix holding onto Hardcore's feet. Seamus locks Hardcore into another front face lock and grabs Hardcore's tights. He pulls hard. Ryan's feet are ripped from Lauren's hands and Ryan is tossed halfway across the ring with a suplex. Seamus stomps away at Hardcore before pulling him to his feet. He sets Ryan up for the Celtic Cross, but he hits Seamus with a few back elbows to the head, forcing the release. Seamus walks forward, holding his head, while Ryan goes to the top rope. Seamus turns around into the Pearl Necklace by Hardcore. Ryan gets to his feet and waits for Seamus to get up. He kicks Seamus in the gut, then goes for the Threesome. He hits the first suplex. He gets up and hits the second. He gets up and goes for the third, but Seamus blocks it and does a quick reversal into the Black and Tan. Seamus rolls Hardcore over for the pin, but Ryan kicks out at 2. Seamus pulls him to his feet and sends him right back down with a DDT. He rolls Hardcore over and goes for the pin again, but Hardcore kicks out a second time. Seamus is pissed at this point and throws Ryan into a corner. The referee gets trapped behind Ryan. Seamus runs in with a huge shoulder. The referee falls through the ropes and hits the floor, while Seamus hoists Ryan to the top rope. He climbs up with him, then sends him flying with a top rope belly-to-belly suplex. Hardcore hits the mat, then rolls under the bottom rope and falls to the floor. The referee is just now crawling into the ring, still dazed. Ryan manages to pull himself to his feet. Out of nowhere, The Dead Closes the Casket on him. Lauren Phoenix runs over to stop Dead, but Dead picks Hardcore up and rolls him under the bottom rope, back into the ring. Just as Lauren is getting at The Dead, Seamus hooks Ryan's leg and the referee counts the pin. 1. 2. 3. The Dead pushes Lauren Phoenix to the ground and walks up the ramp with Seamus. WINNER in 7:18 - Seamus McNasty PHANTOS vs. TOMMY WILDERTommy Wilder comes to the ring, Missy right behind him. Phantos makes his way to the ring, and stops outside to talk to Missy. Wilder watches the ongoings for a moment, then Phantos tries to kiss Missy, and Wilder gets a running start and planchas to the floor, knocking Phantos into the guardrail. Wilder drags Phantos into the ring and begins to wail away on the masked man. Phantos fights back and we have a flippy guy slobber knocker on our hands! Wilder knocks Phantos down and holds his face up between the ropes and Missy SLAPS the taste out of Phantos’ mouth. Wilder whips Phantos into the ropes and hits a spinning heel kick. Wilder to the top rope and launches off with a corkscrew splash just as Phantos gets to his feet. Wilder covers for a 2 count, and locks in a sleeper. Phantos powers to his feet and ducks behind, hitting a German suplex. Phantos hits a second German, the crowd pops for a third German, and Phantos still hasn’t let go. Four, Five Six, and finally the SEVENTH German is a release suplex. Phantos goes to the top and rockets off with a Swanton. Phantos pops up and drags Wilder into the corner. Back on top, Phantos leaps into a SSP, only to find no body home! Wilder makes it to his feet first and thumbs Phantos in the eye. He follows up with a kick to the gut, and levels the masked man with a DDT. Wilder to the top for some high flyin', but Phantos is able to grab the ropes and send Wilder crashing to the floor. Phantos climbs to the top and swan dives onto Wilder. The referee starts the 10 count. Phantos is to his feet first, and sees Missy tending to Wilder. Phantos starts to swing at Wilder, but he pulls Missy in front of him. Phantos stops just in time, but Wilder pushes Missy into him, tumbling Missy and Phantos to the ground. Wilder dives under the ropes just before the 10 count and the Bell sounds. WINNER in 7:29, via countout, Tommy Wilder STANK vs. DAVIN MORELAND OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match Davin Moreland comes to the ring, he looks a little worse for the wear after his war with Outback Jack. Moreland will be wrestling in his third match of the night, and facing a fresh Stank. Moreland gets into the ring and hands his title to the referee and moves to the corner. The OOWF World Heavyweight Champion is announced and Stank comes to the top of the ramp and raises the title over his head before making his way down the ramp, his eyes completely focused on Moreland. Stank climbs between the ropes and hands his title to the referee, who holds it high in the air. Only Stank’s world title is on the line for this one. The two men meet in the center of the ring and bump knuckles, the referee calls for the bell and this one is ready to go. The two big men slowly circle and lock up. Davin uses his height advantage to push Stank into the corner, the referee calls for a clean break, and gets it. Davin backs away slowly and brushes his hands off, “no problem” uh huh. They meet in the middle of the ring again and lock up and Moreland grabs an arm wringer, but Stank immediately grabs Moreland’s head and slams him between the eyes with a head butt that drops Moreland to a knee. Now it is Stank’s turn to give Moreland the “no problem” bit. Moreland snarls a bit and gets to his feet and the two men throwdown, trading haymakers between them. Davin stops Stank with a knee to the mid section then takes him to the corner and slams his head into the turnbuckle. Stank shakes it off pretty quick and nails Moreland with an elbow to the gut, then throws him into the corner and batters him with rights and lefts to the side of the head. To his credit Moreland takes the shots and fights back, backing Stank to the center of the ring, Moreland takes a big swing, but Stank ducks and catches Moreland and belly to back suplexes him to the mat. Stank gets to his feet and hits the ropes and drops a fist right between Moreland’s eyes and covers, but only gets a once count. Stank pulls Moreland up and locks him in a bear hug, but its not just a rest hold here, not in the OOWF! Stank lifts Moreland off the mat and bends over until Moreland’s shoulders are on the mat. Stank continues to squeeze the air out of Moreland while Moreland has to concentrate on keeping his shoulders up. Stank gets several two counts before Moreland breaks the hold with a clap to the ears. Moreland falls to the mat and tries to crawl to the ropes but Stank pounces on him and locks on a camel clutch and sits way back, and slams Moreland across the face repeatedly with crossfaces and elbows to the face until Moreland is a bloody mess. Stank releases the hold and Moreland falls to the mat. The referee steps in to check on him, but Moreland shoves him away and spits out some blood and gets to his feet to face Stank again. Stank charges but Moreland catches him in the face with a big boot, then scoops Stank up and slams him to the mat. Moreland grabs Stank’s arm and locks him in an arm bar, Stank screams in pain and maneuvers around so Moreland is on the mat, but Moreland still has the arm barred and is wrenching on the arm and shoulder. Stank pulls a page straight out of UFC and grabs Moreland and pulls him up off the mat and slams him down with a powerbomb! Davin is stunned for a moment and lets go of the arm bar, and Stank rolls him up and gets a two count. Stank gets to his feet first and pulls Moreland up, but Davin gets a kick to the gut in to stop Stank. Moreland is starting to show the wear of three matches in one night, but he bounces off the ropes and takes Stank to the mat with a clothesline. Moreland measures Stank and calls for the REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER!! As Stank gets to his feet, Moreland grabs him by the head, but Stank shoves him off and catches him on the rebound with the STANK-U! Stank covers and hooks the leg and gets the one, two three! WINNER in 15:54 – Stank The announcers give their farewells as Moreland rolls out of the ring and looks back at Stank who is still standing in the center of the ring holding his title. They give the nod of mutual respect and we fade out. But before we go dead we see this: COMING SOONThanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days III Pay Per View! Live February 24th From Strong, Maine! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 2, Live! February 6th from Coxsackie, New York!
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This has been an OOWF production, produced by the LD-Tar-Jack-Fire-Crete-Cap Production Company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.
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