OOWF End of Days III PPV

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF End Of Days III PPV
Live! From Strong, Maine

Brackets

OOWF World Heavyweight title Steel Cage Chain Match[/u]
Stank vs. Donovan Viper

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Outback Jack vs. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III

OOWF World Tag Team Title Final Chance Match[/u]
Defenestrators vs. Phantos & Lucios

OOWF Onslaught Championship First Submission Fatal Four Way[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Eric O'Mac vs. The Dead vs. Alexander Darling

OOWF Invitational Finals[/u]
Capellan vs. Chris Cole

Degrassi Death Match[/u]
Team RabbxtFire vs. The Nerve Agent & Blitz

Falls Count Anywhere Street Fight[/u]
Seamus McNasty vs. Damon Wrath

Midnight Sons vs. KZ
Firechild vs. Ryan Hardcore
Skurge vs. Canadian Dragon

card subject to testimony before congress

[mooseheadjack]

Lucios barges into General Manager the Rick's office, and finds Rick flanked by security.

Lucios: AGAIN! You have to make this right NOW!

GMtR: I don't have to do ANYTHING.

Lucios: YOU WILL MAKE THIS RIGHT!

GmtR: Look, My job here is to run a show. I gave you your best of seven. I banned LOADED from ringside. I took Creech off your matches. WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, WIN YOUR MATCHES FOR YOU?!?!?!

Lucios: If all this outside crap wasn't constantly happening, We'd be CHAMPIONS right now. YOU need to fix this!

GMtR: You've used up all the gravitas you had with me already. It's not MY job to make sure you WIN your precious tag belts. MY job was to give you as fair an opportunity as I could provide. I have done that. NOW. GET. OUT!

(Lucios steps towards Rick, but the security force closes ranks and Lucios starts to walk out)

GMtR: Wait. (hands Lucios an envelope) You are hereby docked 6 weeks pay and put on probation for the next 3 weeks. You touch an official in that time span and you are suspended indefinitly.

(Lucios lunges at Rick. Security restrains him.)

GMtR: AND you are BANNED from the building untill your match! OUT!

[mooseheadjack]

(Mr. Bennett has two guests in his locker room)

Bennett: ...so The Rick hasn't been helping you boys out?

Creech: apparently he's not ready to protect us from the wrestlers.

Hightower: And it seems that the ... current Senior referee isn't interested in fixing the problem. But something's gotta be done.

Bennett: I reviewed the match you boys were talking about and yes, if that's a common occurance then something has to be done. What did you have in mind?

Creech: Glaw's too big for his britches, Mr. Bennett - and he never really got punished for fixing matches last year.

Bennett: (eyes narrow) "Fixing" matches?

Creech: Apparently he STRONGLY favored certain wrestlers. (tosses a stack of papers on Bennett's desk) this covers several months, including favoring a former OOWF Champion.

Bennett: (reading the papers) this is a very serious accusation.

Hightower: (gives Creech a surprised look)

Creech: I think more severe sanctions are in order. Of course we can't operate without a proper Senior official.

Bennett: (looks at both of them) well, I'm open to suggestions

Hightower: me

Creech: me

Bennett: (looks them over) Mr. Creech, you would have tenure in this case.

Creech: (smirks) is that effective..... immediately?

Bennett: As of tonight, you will be the OOWF Senior referee. Now as for the wrestlers in question.....

Creech: I'll collect the fines from them personally.

Hightower: (gives Creech another odd look)

Bennett: Now, if you don't have any other business.......

Hightower: I-

Creech: We're done here, we know you're a busy man.

Bennett: thank you. And if any of the wrestlers harm you, collect a $500 fine from them after the show. If they refuse to pay, please call me.

Creech: Yes sir. (Creech strides out)

Bennett: Did you have a question, Mr. Hightower?

Hightower: (watching Mel leave) ... no sir. Thank you for your time.

[mooseheadjack]

(The Midnight Sons are lounging in the Destroyitarium, nursing beers. Stank and Outback Jack are talking animatedly with Wally B. King about something in the corner.)

SH: I've been thinking about something, D.H. .. shouldn't we have a name for our finisher?

DHM: Eh, I kinda like it how it is. It ain't flashy and it ain't pretty, but it gets the job done. Kinda like us, right?

SH: Yeah, pretty much. I'm just getting pressure from management about it, that's all... I'm thinking something to do with Ragnarok--

L.J. Bennett: Mind if I interrupt for a second?

SH: You pay the bills. What's on your mind?

LJB: Spin, I heard you talking about how The Rick screwed you out of your chance to main event in the PHWF. I agree with you on this. It wasn't fair.

SH: You're damn right it wasn't fair, and I'll never forgive The Rick for it.

LJB: Think of a few of the positives, though. It did raise your profile enough that you were in contention for the Onslaught belt for quite a while. Your feud with Firechild is one of the best that around here in a long time, be it when he was part of the Three Piece Set or the Heroes Guild...

SH: Flame and I have made our peace. Besides, I've moved on from that. D.H. and I have been tearing things up, and we ARE going to be in contention to get the Tag Titles back.

DHM: That's right. An' there ain't a thing that we'll let get in our way.

LJB: That's the kind of tag team that I like to see. Motivated. Dangerous. Have you given any more thought to my offer?

SH: I've thought about it, but I've got to weigh every option here. I can guarantee you that I'm not siding with The Rick-- but I'm also not sure if I'm going to side with anyone at all.

LJB: And you, Mr. Magnusson?

DHM: I ain't gonna make a choice yet. I've got a family to take care of.

LJB: I understand. Take your time, both of you. I like you guys. I want to do something great for you... and the fans of the OOWF. Spin?

SH: (Draining his beer) Yeah?

LJB: Now that I've got a bit more sway here, I'm going to do something for you.

SH: And that is?

LJB: Tonight I'm booking you in that main event match that never was. Obviously, Alt has some misplaced priorities, so it won't be exactly the same... but I think it's going to be better. So I'm making this official as of now... The Midnight Sons are going to be taking on KZ. Good luck, gentlemen. Prove your talent.

(L.J. stands up and leaves. Stank, Outback Jack, and Wally B. King are all looking expectantly at Spin and D.H., awaiting a reaction.)

SH: ... damn. Bartender, give me another beer... and that bottle of Jaegermeister. I'm gonna need it. This is gonna be epic.

DHM: Why do I get the feelin' that there ain't gonna be four men walkin' out of the ring tonight on their own two legs?

[mooseheadjack]

(Mel is heading back to his locker room to change clothes)

??: Mister Creech....?

Creech: ?

(Mel turns to see Alexis leaning against the wall, dressed in a short red dress and a devilish smile)

Creech: (grins) well, aren't you a sight.....

Alexis: If you have a moment, I was wondering.... are you in charge of a fatal four-way at the PPV?

Creech: Ma'am, I am now in charge of everything!

Alexis: (saunters closer) is that so...?

Creech: You're looking at the new OOWF Senior official!

Alexis: Then perhaps we could talk a bit about that match... you see, the best man has t win, right?

Creech: of course. Why do you ask?

Alexis: you see, I might know who the best man is..... (digs into her clevage and carefully unfolds some bills) and that would be Alexander....

Creech: Alexander? (looks at the cash) Alexander....

Alexis: Darling... (tucks the $$ in his shirt)

Creech: (weird grin) well, that's one woman's opinion.....

Alexis: Perhaps one... important... man's opinion....? (adds a few more bills)

Creech: (goofy grin) so... Alexis....

Alexis: yes, Mr. Creech?

Creech: Darling?

Alexis: exactly. (kisses him on the cheek and saunters off)

Creech: (gringringrin) hot damn.....

[mooseheadjack]

We cut to video package. Firechild is standing on the roof of a building, with city nightscape behind him. He is wearing his grey bootcut jeans, black converse trainers, a black t-shirt and his (blond again) hair is streaming in the wind.

(think of the tone of voice and delivery here being like the Operative from Serenity, very cold, calm and calculated)

FC- Hey Ryan, nice to meet you. In your time in the OOWF, I'm sure we've never met, and I guess you won't know about my history here. You won't know about me being part of the most dominant stable in OOWF history, about my division defining reigns as Onslaught champion, about my super HARDCORE matches with the likes of Seraph and Thim Reynolds.
In point of fact, these names mean nothing to you.
In point of fact, you probably see me as a rather pathetic figure, lost and without direction, devoid of allies, and all too recently I was valeting the car, and washing up the sick from the OOWF's premier foppish prick.

Yes, your current leader, don't fret, I shall get th that in a bit.

It's understandable for you to see me as just another speedbump on your rise to the top here in the OOWF, but you see, you remind me of myself a few years ago, Ryan - all youthful agression, passion and fire. I remember how that felt. But I also remember how it felt when Moosehead Jack took notice of me and squashed me like a bug. I remember what it was like when Seraph taught me some valuable lessons about humility. I remember what it was like when, to cement his rise to power, my BEST FRIEND stabbed me in the back.
Thus far, you have been spared all that Ryan, and it is with a measure of regret that I have to inform you that this period of grace is at an end.

You see, I too am looking to reassert myself here, and I am now the veteran and you are the hot headed rookie, and believe me I do not doubt your ability, or your heart, but rest assured it will NOT be enough. I intend to wear gold in the OOWF again, and I intende to hurt MacCappington and all he has built here - and if I need to make an example of you to speed my progress then that is how it will need to be.
The fact that your current associations will lend a certain weight to your destruction is sheer serendipity.

Just to let you know, this isn't personal, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Firechild walks forward and steps off the roof, tossing a match behind him, and we see the burning skull logo etched into the roof in burning alcohol....

fade out....

[mooseheadjack]

*We cut to the IHOP locker room*

Skurge is pacing back and forth, mapping out his match against Canadian Dragon. SYB is sulking in the corner.

Skurge: What's your deal, eh?
SYB: My deal is I brought you into this joke of a company, I should be the breakout star. I feel like the bastard lovechild of Jim Neidhart and Marty Jannetty. What aboot me? What aboot SYB?
Skurge: What aboot me? I have to throw doon with someone named Canadian Dragon. Who is this, Ricky Steamboot?
SYB: Boat.
Skurge: Boot?
SYB: Look I'm dealing with some deep shit here, I don't need this.
Skurge: Relax, eh? Something will turn oot in your favour.
SYB: What's with "u"?
Skurge: Eh?
SYB: You.
Skurge: Me?
SYB: (sighs) Never mind....(throws his hands up to the sky) I just pray to Yahweh that He sends me a sign.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

SYB looks up. The camera pans up to the most amazing woman he's ever seen. Legs like Keibler, breasts like Stratus and pair of Angelina Jolie lips that could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
Mystery woman: Hello boys.
Skurge: And whom might you be, eh?
MW: I'm Dorothy Mantooth, I'm new around here and was looking for a big strong man to help me oot.
SYB: Well hello m'lady.
DM: Not you again. (to Skurge) This creepy little bastard flashed me an hour ago.
Skurge: How could you tell it was him?
DM: It looked like a dick, only smaller.
Skurge looks over at SYB who shrugs his shoulders and gives the universal "guilty as charged" look to the camera.
DM: I'm gonna go shower up, why don't you little maniacs decide what you want to do first.

Dorothy turns around and slowly walks away, with SYB & Skurge's eyes never losing focus.

SYB: I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
Skurge: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
SYB: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Skurge: It's quite pungent.
SYB: Oh yeah.
Skurge: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
SYB: Yep.
Skurge: Solly, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
SYB: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Skurge: That doesn't make sense.
SYB:Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

<LD Williams and Moose are walking down the hall of the Strong Fighting Arena>

MHJ: So, KZ is back for one night only

LDW: Sure appears that way, why are we facing the Sons again?

MHJ: Why not?

LDW: Good point, this is going to be one hell of a fight, I can't wait myself, but I know you, you have other motives

MHJ: Well, Bennett wanted me to make sure they lived up to their billing, and there is no tougher team than KZ

LDW: Well, considering they look at this as a reward rather than a punishment, I would say that is all you need to know about them

MHJ: Hell man, you are preachin' to the choir there. What about you. Where are you coming down on this when the time comes?

LDW: Wherever benefits me the most

<Moose and LD get to the Destroyatarium and pause at the door>

LDW: You think they will be in there?

<Moose just shoots him a knowing look>

LDW: Yeah, what was I thinking

<They walk in, and the piano player suddenly stops playing and dives out the window. At one table, Stank, Jack and Wally stop playing cards and look up, at another Magnusson and Spin set their bottles down and get to their feet>

MHJ: Calm down boys, we're not here for any trouble at all.

DHM: Then what exactly do you want?

LDW: I came to make sure you were ready for Sunday

SH: Its going be a war, nothing fancy, a bloody, fight

LDW: Sounds like they are ready to me

DHM: <looking at Moose> And you?

MHJ: I have some business to discuss with Stank and Jack

<Moose makes his way over to the table where Stank and Jack sit>

MHJ: Gentlemen

Stank: Moose

Jack: Jack

MHJ: Wally, could you give us a minute

WBK: Well, I........

OBJ: It's ok mate, Jack is crazy, but he's not stupid

<Moose orders a round and has a seat at the table, after a long pause he speaks>

MHJ: Gentlemen, I am sure you are aware of the issues between GM the Rick and Bennett and I.

OBJ: Is this one of your little recruitment trips?

Stank: What makes you think we have any interest in going against the boss?

MHJ: Well, by all logic, being the champions, you wouldn't

OBJ: Looks like you are wasting your breath then mate

MHJ: Just one thing to consider. Stank, I am not going to insult you by telling you you won the title because of me. You have been a tough as hell champ and earned your spot.

Stank: Damn right

MHJ: But the facts remain, I beat Crete bloody before you took the title. All I am saying is one hand washes the other. And Jack, same goes for you. part of the reason you won that title was thanks to my help.

OBJ: Fuck you Moose, you are NOT holding that over us!

MHJ: You're right. You don't owe me a damn thing. Just something to consider, something to remember when the time should come. After all, no good deed goes unrewarded, right? You boys have a good evening.

<Moose clinks glasses with Jack and Stank and slams his triple shot then he and Williams walk out of the Destroyatarium>

[mooseheadjack]

Viper walks into Capellan's locker room.

DV: Hey.

Cap: What do you want?

DV: The hostilities never end, do they?

Cap: I said, what do you want?

DV: I want to wish you good luck.

Cap: Yeah, you wished me good luck against Stank, told me you wanted me to win, but soon after, called me - along with LD Williams - guys that can't get it done.

DV: Well, you didn't, did you.

Cap: Shut the hell up.

DV: Seriously. I want you to win the Invitational.

Cap: Oh yeah (sarcastic tone), because that way after you beat Stank at End of Days this Sunday for the title, you want me to be the #1 contender, blah blah blah. I know what you're going to say.

DV: Well, it's true. Minus the sarcasm.

Cap: Well, I don't need your luck, ok? I don't care if you want me to have a shot against your world championship title. I don't care about you at all, man. The only reason why I want to win this is because I want to win it.

DV: Well, you better want to win it. If you don't, Cole's gonna run right over you.

Cap: Don't worry. I'll win it. And then... you're going to finally have to face me. And it's gonna feel nice, winning the World Championship from you of all people.

DV: Looking forward to it. Oh, by the way. Did you just notice something?

Cap: What?

DV: You just predicted that I'd beat Stank for the World Championship this Sunday.

Cap: What? What makes you think you're going to beat Stank this weekend?

DV: Well, I'm a cocky bastard who thinks I'm the best. Of course I'm going to beat Stank. But YOU just said that YOU can't wait to win this tournament so YOU can face ME for the World Championship. No "if you beat Stank". It was that matter of fact.

Cap: Well, no... I mean... I MEANT "if you beat Stank." I'd have no problem facing Stank either for the championship. So... uh, yeah.

DV: Heh. Gotcha. Like I said, good luck.

Cap: Get the hell out of here, Viper.

Viper is just about to walk out of Cap's locker room, but he sees that Stank is at the entrance.

St: You two are so homo for each other. *catches Viper's fist*. You think I wasn't ready for that one, Donnie? *punches Viper in the face, knocking him down!*

St: And YOU! Capellan! Good luck against that punk, Cole. And just so you know, I'd have problem defending my title against you. At least you're a man of honor, even if you used to have a homo tag team with this asshole.

Stank leaves. Viper gets up and leaves.

Cap (to himself): What's up with Stank? I'm not a homo. Woah... Did I just say that?

[mooseheadjack]

<Stank returns to the Destroyitarium and seats himself next to Outback Jack.>

Stank - I couldn't find KZ.

OBJ - So what are you thinking?

Stank - Spin, Mags, c'mere.

<The Midnight Son's walk over to Stank and OBJ's table.>

Stank - Have a seat boys. Now Spin, I know you got your issues with Rick...

Spin - Damn RIGHT I do!

Stank - ... but I just as soon we not commit in this war amongst Rick, Bennet, and Moose. Up to this point, I have pretty much steered clear of it. I would like for D&D to do the same.

OBJ - Fine with me.

DHM - If it's ok with my partner, it's ok with me.

Stank - Not good enough. I'm telling you guys to stay the fuck out of it.

Spin - No offense boss, but I'm not sure I can... you have any idea what Rick did?

Stank - And what about what I've done, what Drink & Destroy has done for you? Your career has thrived in th OOWF thanks in no small part to the opportunities Lock and I brought for you.

Spin - I know, but the PHWF was special to a LOT of us INCLUDING your ex-partner.

Stank - I remember. Lock lobbied hard for me to join.

Spin - I was going to main event...

Stank - Spin... just do what I ask.

Spin - ... But you're NOT asking.

Stank - ...

OBJ - Kid just listen-

Spin - RICK is an ASSHOLE!

Stank - On that point I won't disagree.

Spin - So then don't TELL me this about holding on to your precious title?!?

Stank - That would be pointless. Bennet could just as easily force Rick to strip me of the title, should he please.

Spin - So... what the fuck?

Stank - *sigh* Do what you want, Spin. I got Donovan Viper to deal with.

<Stank stands up and walks over to the bar.>

OBJ - He's just trying to look out for us.

Spin - By doing nothing? You know the time is coming when we ALL will be forced to choose a side.

OBJ - DX's New Age Outlaws... you remember them?

Spin - Yeah?

OBJ - There's a lesson to be learned there.

DHM - What? Don't become two old, bitter, past their prime, self indulgent, assh-

OBJ - All I'm saying is... Stank's right. Smart money says maybe we should sit this one out...

Spin - But-

OBJ - ... UNTIL we are FORCED to choose. Not before.

[mooseheadjack]

**kz continue down the hallway.**

LD: “So, this war you’re starting… so far it looks like you and the new guys vs. Cole and the endorsement collectors, with D&D on the sidelines.”

MHJ: “And?”

LD: “So, you need me for what, exactly? More importantly, what do I gain by jumping into this?”

MHJ: “Sooner or later, everyone will have to pick a side. That includes D&D…and you.”

LD: “Skip the theatrics. This is me you’re talking to. I’ve got your back, Moose, same as always. I’ll be there if you need me. If you’re going to bring me into a war though, you’re at least going to have to make it interesting.”

MHJ: “Now, that can be arranged.”

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in to The DEA Luxury Suite*

The camera pans around the suite and we see Alexander Darling lying on a massage table as a big breasted blonde gives him a back rub. Firewoman and Rabbxt are sitting on the couch watching some footage of The Nerve Agent and Blitz in order to prepare for their Degrassi Death Match at the PPV. The massage seems to be finishing up as Alexander sits up and works the rest of the kinks out of his neck. We can see he has his metal faceplate covering his nose, but the rest of his body looks as bruised as his face after this week’s match-of-the-year candidate with Eric O’Mac.

Alexander Darling: Thanks for everything Cori. You really are a goddess with your hands.

Cori: Yea, if you can never mention it again, that’d be great. I just really needed to pay for classes this semester and didn’t wanna..

Alexander: Truthfully, I don’t care about your issues. But anytime you feel like putting those hands to use again, you know where to find me.

Cori: Sure, whatever you say. I’m gonna get going though.

Cori gathers up her bag and scurries out of the room whispering to herself that she hopes that there were no ninja cameramen around and Davin never finds out. Meanwhile, within the Luxury Suite, Alexander laughs aloud and hands off a hundred dollar bill to the ninja cameraman who was blending into the desk.

Alexander: Damn, that was fun. Hey Rabbxt, can you do me a favor?

Firewoman turns off the 102 inch plasma Sharp television and she and Rabbxt turn to face Alexander. Firewoman motions to Alexander’s shirt implying that he puts it on so he just shrugs his shoulders and acquiesces.

Rabb, I need you to run back to hardware store and get some light tubes. I really enjoyed the effect they had on Hardcore during your match. They’d be mighty fun to bash over Eric and Davin’s head this weekend.

Rabbxt: What about The Dead? Ya gonna hit him too?

Alexander: Who?

Firewoman: Dead, fourth guy in the match, sorta tag partner of Seamus…we feuded with them for like our first two months here.

Alexander: Yea, not ringing a bell at all. Is there anything else that may jog my memory?

Rabbxt: Oh I know, he’s Moose’s lackey of the week.

Alexander: That loser has a title match again? I guess it pays to blow the guy blowing Bennett. Actually, since he’s going to be involved in the match, pick up another roll of barb wire too.

Rabbxt: Okay, I’ll go in a few minutes. I wanted to go watch some Jackass.

Alexander: You can do that later. I actually have some things I need to discuss with Firewoman.

Fire: What do you have to talk to me about? I’m not in the best mood as it is with another damn no contest.

Alexander: Evan, please give me and Fire some time.

Rabbxt: Okay boss, but remember we have a big match Sunday and I really don’t wanna go alone. I don’t know what I’d do if Fire wasn’t there to protect me.

Alexander: Sure Rabb…Maybe we can go catch the ROH Show in NYC Saturday and see if Evans makes an appearance.

Rabbxt: Awesome boss. See ya later.

Rabbxt opens the door and flips out into the hallway.

Fire: And what do you have to talk to me bout boss?

Alexander: First, ya need to curb the spending some. I’m not saying it needs to be cut off, but is that TV really necessary. We woulda been fine with the 3 LCD TV’s we had, but you had to go out and get a fucking plasma bigger than bunny’s closet.

Fire: But it looks damn good, doesn’t it?

Alexander: Not the point. Look, I know you’re trying to annoy Alexis and that stuff is between you two. Just don’t get me caught in the middle of it. You don’t understand how annoying Layfield can be when it comes to money.

Fire: I haven’t spent that much, really.

Alexander: All I know is we’re 350% over budget and it’s not even March; so I need you to do me a favor.

Fire: And what’s that Alex. I’m not doing anything that will hurt my reputation.

Alexander: Your reputation as someone who never wins?

Fire: That’s uncalled for Darling. Before I joined…

Alexander: Hey, I’m just saying we need to step up our game and start winning some matches. And on that note, I think you need a change.

Fire: What kind of change?

Alexander: First of all, theme song change. I know Firewoman makes sense, but we’re not receiving any residuals each time it’s played. So, we talked it over with our entertainment division and found something we think we can use.

Firewoman looks a bit tentative wondering what Alexander possibly came up with to use for her entrance music.

Fire: Well, out with it…

Alexander: It was a very tough decision, but we all agreed that “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani would be perfect.

Fire: Are you fucking kidding me? There’s no chance in hell that I’m using…

Alexander: I could have sworn Alexis said…

Fire: What did your sister say exactly?

Alexander: Never mind, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is we already signed a contract with Ms. Stefani and if you don’t use the song, we’re going to be in breach of contract. So that’s not an option. Besides, if you read your contract, you’ll see that music and attire are all controlled by The DEA name. You don’t actually have a vote here Fire. So get used to “Hollaback Girl.”

With that, Alexander pats Firewoman on the shoulder and heads into his private room of the suite.

*Fade Out*

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in to The DEA Luxury Suite*

The camera pans around the suite and we see Alexander Darling lying on a massage table as a big breasted blonde gives him a back rub. Firewoman and Rabbxt are sitting on the couch watching some footage of The Nerve Agent and Blitz in order to prepare for their Degrassi Death Match at the PPV. The massage seems to be finishing up as Alexander sits up and works the rest of the kinks out of his neck. We can see he has his metal faceplate covering his nose, but the rest of his body looks as bruised as his face after this week’s match-of-the-year candidate with Eric O’Mac.

Alexander Darling: Thanks for everything Cori. You really are a goddess with your hands.

Cori: Yea, if you can never mention it again, that’d be great. I just really needed to pay for classes this semester and didn’t wanna..

Alexander: Truthfully, I don’t care about your issues. But anytime you feel like putting those hands to use again, you know where to find me.

Cori: Sure, whatever you say. I’m gonna get going though.

Cori gathers up her bag and scurries out of the room whispering to herself that she hopes that there were no ninja cameramen around and Davin never finds out. Meanwhile, within the Luxury Suite, Alexander laughs aloud and hands off a hundred dollar bill to the ninja cameraman who was blending into the desk.

Alexander: Damn, that was fun. Hey Rabbxt, can you do me a favor?

Firewoman turns off the 102 inch plasma Sharp television and she and Rabbxt turn to face Alexander. Firewoman motions to Alexander’s shirt implying that he puts it on so he just shrugs his shoulders and acquiesces.

Rabb, I need you to run back to hardware store and get some light tubes. I really enjoyed the effect they had on Hardcore during your match. They’d be mighty fun to bash over Eric and Davin’s head this weekend.

Rabbxt: What about The Dead? Ya gonna hit him too?

Alexander: Who?

Firewoman: Dead, fourth guy in the match, sorta tag partner of Seamus…we feuded with them for like our first two months here.

Alexander: Yea, not ringing a bell at all. Is there anything else that may jog my memory?

Rabbxt: Oh I know, he’s Moose’s lackey of the week.

Alexander: That loser has a title match again? I guess it pays to blow the guy blowing Bennett. Actually, since he’s going to be involved in the match, pick up another roll of barb wire too.

Rabbxt: Okay, I’ll go in a few minutes. I wanted to go watch some Jackass.

Alexander: You can do that later. I actually have some things I need to discuss with Firewoman.

Fire: What do you have to talk to me about? I’m not in the best mood as it is with another damn no contest.

Alexander: Evan, please give me and Fire some time.

Rabbxt: Okay boss, but remember we have a big match Sunday and I really don’t wanna go alone. I don’t know what I’d do if Fire wasn’t there to protect me.

Alexander: Sure Rabb…Maybe we can go catch the ROH Show in NYC Saturday and see if Evans makes an appearance.

Rabbxt: Awesome boss. See ya later.

Rabbxt opens the door and flips out into the hallway.

Fire: And what do you have to talk to me bout boss?

Alexander: First, ya need to curb the spending some. I’m not saying it needs to be cut off, but is that TV really necessary. We woulda been fine with the 3 LCD TV’s we had, but you had to go out and get a fucking plasma bigger than bunny’s closet.

Fire: But it looks damn good, doesn’t it?

Alexander: Not the point. Look, I know you’re trying to annoy Alexis and that stuff is between you two. Just don’t get me caught in the middle of it. You don’t understand how annoying Layfield can be when it comes to money.

Fire: I haven’t spent that much, really.

Alexander: All I know is we’re 350% over budget and it’s not even March; so I need you to do me a favor.

Fire: And what’s that Alex. I’m not doing anything that will hurt my reputation.

Alexander: Your reputation as someone who never wins?

Fire: That’s uncalled for Darling. Before I joined…

Alexander: Hey, I’m just saying we need to step up our game and start winning some matches. And on that note, I think you need a change.

Fire: What kind of change?

Alexander: First of all, theme song change. I know Firewoman makes sense, but we’re not receiving any residuals each time it’s played. So, we talked it over with our entertainment division and found something we think we can use.

Firewoman looks a bit tentative wondering what Alexander possibly came up with to use for her entrance music.

Fire: Well, out with it…

Alexander: It was a very tough decision, but we all agreed that “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani would be perfect.

Fire: Are you fucking kidding me? There’s no chance in hell that I’m using…

Alexander: I could have sworn Alexis said…

Fire: What did your sister say exactly?

Alexander: Never mind, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is we already signed a contract with Ms. Stefani and if you don’t use the song, we’re going to be in breach of contract. So that’s not an option. Besides, if you read your contract, you’ll see that music and attire are all controlled by The DEA name. You don’t actually have a vote here Fire. So get used to “Hollaback Girl.”

With that, Alexander pats Firewoman on the shoulder and heads into his private room of the suite.

*Fade Out*

[mooseheadjack]

[The Dead is sitting in the rafters above the ring in Strong, Maine. He looks bruised and bloody from his match at Mayhem.]

Dead: The Dead thinks it's cute how Davin and Darling feign ignorance about The Dead. You think they give each other notes on how to cut the same generic promos week after week? Those two really are cut from the same cloth. So, especially for you two, here's a quick refresher course on who The Dead is.

Dead: The Dead was the winner of the "nOOb" Gauntlet, beating two members of DEA. The Dead and Seamus tore the roof off in a three-way TLC match, again beating two members of DEA. The Dead is a former Iron Person Champion, before that title became a joke. The Dead pinned Davin Moreland in the middle of the ring. The Dead has faced Moreland three times, and not once has Moreland beaten The Dead.

Dead: The Dead has taken abuse week after week and has always come back for more. Darling, bring your little bag of goodies to the match, you'll need all of them to even have a chance. Davin, you need to realize that you're a bad guy and embrace it. Give in to your darker side if you want to make it out of that match alive.

Dead: So go ahead and pretend The Dead doesn't exist. Continue to overlook and undervalue The Dead. After Sunday you will know exactly who The Dead is; your new Onslaught Champion.

[Fade to black.]

[mooseheadjack]

*Skurge and SYB are in their lockerroom, patiently waiting for the lovely and talented Dorothy Mantooth to finish her shower…

SYB: I’m still having a hard time believing that you’ve only had one match and you’ve got a match at End of Days III. I mean, Christ, we just formally established IHOP this week, and it looks like you’re already out.
Skurge: Dude. Seriously. You’re going to go there? Remember why I came here in the first place? Remember who saved your ass last week? You’d probably be in a coma right now if it wasn’t for me. You, sir, can eat a dick.
SYB: Whoa there, Skurge. I’m not shitting on you. I’m just pissed that End of Days III is here and I don’t have a match. Again. I never get to wrestle on weekends.
Skurge: Well, in fairness, your win/loss record blows. Do you think the fans want to pay to watch you lose? Give it a couple of weeks. The extra training is already starting to pay dividends, and it only gets better from here.
SYB: Yeah, I guess you’re right. Hey, I just heard the shower turn off. Dorothy’s coming. Can you still smell the Sex Panther?
Skurge: Unfortunately.
SYB: What?

*Skurge is saved from answering by the appearance of the lovely and talented Miss Mantooth, who’s wearing a rather small towel…

SYB: Ghu…phft…buhhh…
Skurge: So, Dorothy, you mentioned earlier that you were looking for some help?
SYB: Hurggh…feh…
DM: Wow. Is he okay?
Skurge: Yeah, it’s nothing to worry aboot. He’s just…uh…So, you need help with something, eh?
DM: Oh. Well, it’s actually not “help” that I need, per se, it’s more like employment.
SYB: Per se... oh my gaaa...
Skurge: Easy champ. Per se... as in latin for “by itself”
SYB: Oh.
Skurge: Employment, eh? And what…services…are you offering?
DM: *blushing* Why, Mr. Skurge, what are you implying?
SYB: Feh…hwuh…ghurggh
Skurge: Nothing at all, my dear. Now, what is it that you think you can do for us?
DM: Us? Oh. Well, actually, I was thinking that you might be in the market for a manager.
Skurge: And by “you,” you mean IHOP, of course.
DM: Well…no, actually. I meant you. Alone.
Skurge: Miss Mantooth, I appreciate your stopping by, but perhaps your…services…would go to better use elsewhere. In this lockerroom, there is only IHOP. Don’t let my singles match this weekend fool you into thinking differently. My partner will be right there with me at ringside. If that situation is acceptable to you, you can join him there.
DM: Well, do you think you can get him to at least stop drooling? That’s a sizable puddle he’s produced in the last couple of minutes.
Skurge: I can’t make any promises, but I’ll have a word with him aboot it....(to Solly) I hope that’s all drool.
SYB: Humina humina humina...
DM: Well then, it looks like we have an arrangement. I’m going to go get dressed.
Skurge: Excellent. It’s a pleasure doing business with you, eh?
SYB: Gak…kaff…buh…

*Once the lovely and talented Miss Mantooth has left the room, Skurge turns to SYB…

Skurge: You gonna make it?
SYB: Huh?
Skurge: I said, are you going to make it?
SYB: Wha? Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. No problem. So we’ve got a manager?
Skurge: We certainly do. Try not to drool so much next time you see her. It’s pretty gross, eh?
SYB: Yeah, sorry about that. That was a pretty small towel, though.
Skurge: It suuure was. It’ll be nice to have another member on the team. Not that I think we’ll need anything extra to deal with this Canadian Dragon character. It pains me to have to face one of my countrymen, but that’s what the powers that be have seen fit to provide me with.
SYB: Wait, you’re Canadian?
Skurge: Of course I am. Why do you think I say “Eh?” and speak with extra U’s?
SYB: I thought it was just a flair for the dramatic.
Skurge: *sigh* Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t want to beat doon on another Canadian, but I do need to establish my dominance, thus establishing the dominance of IHOP.
SYB: More than just breakfast.
Skurge: What?
SYB: Oh, I was just trying out a new catchphrase.
Skurge: *sigh* Please don’t say that again. There are cameras everywhere around here.
SYB: Wait, how about “More than just breakfast, eh?”
Skurge: I need to go do some more planning for my match. You stay here and work on your pronunciation. Remember: “Eh?” “Aboot” “Doon” “Beer” “Bacon.” These are the staples of both the language and the society. I’ll catch up with you later. Peace oot.

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in to Ric's Sandwich area. Davin Moreland, banged up from his match against The Dead at Mayhem, appears to be getting a sandwich from Ric when Eric O'Mac walks into the picture.*

E: Ric, I'll have the usual.

RF: WHOOO! CHICKEN TERIAKI ON ITALIAN BREAD! EAT FRESH, FAT BOY!

*Ric begins to make the sandwich, and Eric turns to Davin.*

E: Davin.

D: You've got a lot of nerve.

E: Look, if you want to attack me too, then go ahead and do it. I'll recover and eat my sandwich later if I have to. I just figure me and you could have a talk about the match on Sunday.

D: What are you trying to pull?

E: Not a damn thing, Davin. If you rather not talk, then that's fine. I'll take my sandwich and eat it somewhere else.

D: I don't understand it at all. Why do you even want to be around me? We've had so many battles recently, I've kicked your ass and you've attacked me backstage. What gives?

E: You've opened my eyes, Davin.

D: How so?

E: You pushed me to be the wrestler I once was. You told me I would get my title shot if I showed you that I demenstrate that I could wrestle at the same level that I was once at. And that's when it hit me. I was the Onslaught Champion when I was the best wrestler. I haven't accomplished anything of note since I've gotten abck because I've been involved in these petty little bitchfests and I'm honestly sick of it. So, basically, what I'm saying Davin is...

RF: WOOOO!

E:...is thank you.

D: Uh...no problem.

E: But there is one thing you should keep in mind Davin. Because your words encouraged me to become the wrestler I am, you'll face a much stronger, more skilled better Eric O'Mac than you have in the past. I plan on taking my title back this Sunday at End of Days...and in a way, if I do, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

D: Don't worry about that Eric. I'm going to give it my all, against you, Dead, and Darling. I just hpe you know what you're getting into. Stepping in the ring with me, even at a higher level, is still not walk in the park.

E: I think it's important for you to know that Alexander Darling and The Dead are solid wrestlers. But they won't pose as much of a threat as I do. I've been at this level before. They don't have the slightest idea what it's like to be the champion. I do. So I'm glad to hear you're bringing your A game, Davin. You saw me and Darling on Mayhem...think of what I can do when there HAS to be a finish.

D: Wouldn't it be ironic if this match ended in a No Contest too?

*Both wrestlers laugh as we fade out...*

[mooseheadjack]

It’s an hour or so after Firewoman has had her meeting with Alexander. She’s gone for a nice long run, and returns to her locker room for a shower, however to get there she has to go through the DEA Suites. Hayden is saying her goodbyes as she prepares to return to Hollywood. Two men in Carhart uniforms come in, place the 102" Sharp plasma television into its box and start to cart it out. One of them stops and hands Firewoman a receipt, and then they leave.

HP: Wait....what's going on?

FW: Returning it. Cost too much.

HP: But that was a gift to the entire Enterprises!!

FW: Well, it was a gift that cost way too much, so it's going back. Here, give the return receipt to Alexis...or Alexander, I don't much care which. And get out of my way so I can get to my locker room.

HP: Oh, you haven't heard, I don't work here anymore.

FW: [raises an eyebrow] Oh really? How interesting....So...you're not really part of the family anymore, eh?

Firewoman looks around to see if anyone else is here. At that moment, Rabbxt comes back in from the errands Alexander sent him on. His arms are full of flourescent tubes.

R: Oh hey...uh, where'd the TV go?

FW: Don't ask, I'm not in the mood.

R: Oh. [He puts the tubes down]. Hey, I loved how Midnight Sons softened up TNA and Blitz for us. That'll make Sunday a cakewalk.

Firewoman forgets Hayden for a moment, and turns towards Rabbxt

FW: Really? You think?

R: Well, I .... what is the problem now?

FW: Rabbxt...you know my feelings on no contests. We've been over this.

R: Um... well, ... yeah, that they aren't wins....

FW: That's right. [Firewoman begins to walk towards him, and Rabbxt begins to walk backwards away. They proceed around the room this way as they are talking]

That's right, they aren't wins. So what are they?

R: Um... draws?

FW: No, Rabbxt, they are not draws. They are losses. LOSSES!!

R: Right...well, we just have to do better this Sund-

FW: We, Rabbxt? Did we get us disqualified?

R: Well, it was a double disqual...

FW: Did we pick up a flourescent tube, right in front of the referee? Did we do that?

R: No...uh....well, I guess I....

FW: That's right, Rabbxt. You picked up a flourescent tube...just like this....[Firewoman picks up a flourescent tube]....And you drew it back to hit Hardcore with it....like this....[Firewoman brings the tube back like a baseball club]

HP: I better go get Alexis....

FW: At least you did actually hit him with it. Although if you hadn't, maybe Ryan would have got the DQ, and we would have won, and then Alexander wouldn't have changed my entrance music!!

Rabbxt sees an opening and runs around Firewoman to hide behind Hayden, who had no luck in summoning Alexis, who is content to just let these things play out. Firewoman doesn't care that Rabbxt is hiding behind Hayden, and swings the tube anyway. Rabbxt and Hayden duck almost in time, with Firewoman only hitting Rabbxt's back and a small bit of Hayden's shoulder.

FW: Now keep your head in the game, Sunday. I don't want to have this conversation with you again!

Hayden, best of luck in Hollywood.

Firewoman storms out, kicking through various flourescent tubes, breaking most of them. Rabbxt and Hayden check for injuries. Alexis, hearing the shattering, pokes her head out of the office, sees the aftermath and that everyone is mostly uninjured, and gets on the phone to get a cleaning person to "sweep up the mess."

Cut to Firewoman WALKING~! in the hallway, trying to calm down. She gets a phone call.

FW: Yes? .... Oh, it's you .... No, I'm glad to hear from you....it's just...well, you won't be happy about a few things.....oh, you're there now? Yeah, I can meet you....See you there...

Firewoman continues WALKING~! although she has quickened her pace and appears to have purpose. Assorted OOWF personnel get out of her way. She rounds a corner and comes face to face with Moosehead Jack!! They stare at each other for a moment, neither one feeling that they should have to be the one to cede to the other. OOWF staff around them stop what they are doing to watch. After what seems to all like an eternity, Moose lets a snide grin appear on his face, as he dramatically and obnoxiously steps to the side, and gestures in an exaggerated fashion to Firewoman to step on through. Firewoman does not smile, but maintains eye contact, as she walks past Moose, and then turns to continue down the hall. Moose continues to snidely grin in her general direction, and then goes back to what he was doing.

Finally, she makes it to Ric's Sandwich Shop. She ignores Ric's general greeting, looking around for...someone. Davin and Eric O' Mac see her.

D: Hey, Firewoman. Want to come have Dunkin Donuts Coffee with me?

FW: You're kidding right? I'm actually waiting for someone...

EoM: Aw, did he get held up by a book signing?

FW: Very funny. At least he can read....

EoM: What's that supposed to mean?

D: Eric, shut up. Firewoman, come on, have some Dunkin Donuts Coffee with me.

FW: Fine. But only until he gets here. What's on your mind?

[mooseheadjack]

THIS SUNDAY AT END OF DAYS III…….

The 2008 OOWF Invitational comes to a close.

He entered the OOWF with a brash attitude and reckless Rock & Roll Lifestyle.



He quickly rose to prominence in the OOWF by capturing the OOWF Tag Titles Three Times and then becoming the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. He would go on to be the longest reigning World Champ in the company's history.



But after the glory he hit rock bottom. He could not regain his title and he became desperate. It would lead to his complete meltdown and his dismissal from the OOWF. He got so desperate he even choked down his pride and tried to beg for a job with TNA.



But he is back and refocused. He has a refreshing new attitude and is back on his winning ways. He is living up to his name…..The Main Event Chris Cole.

His opponent was the fresh faced youth with a lovable style and great energy.



He gained notoriety when he was backed by the Taxi Union.




He has since gained momentum and is proving that he deserves his spot in the Main Event.



No longer is he Viper’s lackey. He is his own man. He is Capellan.

THIS SUNDAY WHO WILL WIN: CHRIS COLE VS. CAPELLAN

For a shot at the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship.

[mooseheadjack]

*Backstage at the OOWF Arena in Strong, Maine*

Alexander Darling is walking, that’s right I said WALKING, through the halls and he’s making sure to keep his eyes open as the week leading up to a PPV is always rife with backstage attacks. Alex ducks behind a few corners as he continues to make his way through the halls on his way to The DEA Luxury Suite. He turns one corner and has to stop quickly or else he’d have interrupted a conversation between Canadian Dragon and GMtR. We’re to far away to hear what’s being said so Alex waits a moment for the conversation to finish before moving on.

The conversation finally finishes up and Alex continues his journey towards The DEA Luxury Suite. On his way he picks up his phone and dials a number.

Alexander: Hey Fire…what are you doing right now...Yes, it’s me, who were you expecting…what happened now…it doesn’t matter I just got to the suite…remember the plan I was talking about…okay, be there in a few.

Alex puts the phone away as he gets to the suite and opens the door. He notices the room is a mess and it’s also different in other aspects. He looks around and sees Rabbxt quivering in the corner and Hayden and Alexis in a slight argument while Hayden’s bleeding from a small cut on her shoulder.

Alexander: What the hell is going on here?

Hayden & Alexis: NOT NOW Alexander Montavius Darling…

Alexander: Okay then, I’m just going to, yea…I’ll be getting out of here now. Rabbxt, get up we got business to do.

Rabbxt: But boss, Firewoman hit me with a light tube. What if she’s out there with another one.

Alexander: Oh good, you got the light tubes. Good job Rabb. And don’t worry about Fire, she’s doing something else right now. We’ll get lunch with her in a minute…she wants to apologize.

Rabbxt: Oh good, I don’t want her mad at me. I don’t know what I’d do if she ever left me. I don’t know if my wrist…never mind.

Alexander: Did you say something? Eh, it doesn’t matter. Let’s go. We don’t have a lot of time.

Alex walks over and grabs his bag of weapons and just before he’s about to walk out the door with Rabbxt, it looks like he remembers something.

Alexander: Alexis, not to bother you or anything…but do you have that code we never got to use a few weeks ago?

Alexis: Huh, what…oh yea, let me get it for ya real quick.

Alexis flips open her laptop and punches a few keys before pulling up what she’s looking for.

It’s currently at Level 1. To raise it will be 6,4, Niner…Zero-Zero-Security-Two…Conclusion Code: Delta Epsilon Alpha…Password: Nineteen and Zero.

Alexander: Are you serious? What a fucking tool. Okay thanks sis. You two kiss and make up. I’ll be back later.

Alexander nods to his sister and Hayden as he and Rabbxt walk out of The DEA Luxury Suite and make their way through the halls of the OOWF Arena. They turn a few corners until they’re standing just outside “Ric’s Sandwich Shop.”

Alexander: Okay Rabbxt, when we get in there just follow my lead and keep Eric off my ass.

Rabbxt: Wait, what…I thought we were getting lunch.

Alexander: After. This has been a long-time coming.

Alexander and Rabbxt walk into the shop and they notice Firewoman, Davin Moreland, and Eric O’Mac all sitting at the counter chatting and having a bit to eat.

Rabbxt: What is she…

Alex motions for Rabbxt to keep silent as the two of them walk up directly behind Davin and Eric. The two male members of The DEA simultaneously tap on Davin and Eric’s shoulders respectively. As soon as Davin and Eric realize who it is the brawl starts. Eric and Rabbxt are trading punches as are Davin and Alexander. No one seems to be gaining an advantage, at least until Davin feels another tap on his shoulder.

Davin gives Alexander a quick push to get some space to find out who’s tapping on his shoulder again. As soon as he does, he’s smashed upside his head by an empty coffee mug.

Firewoman: Thanks for the coffee Davin. But in case you forgot. I am a heel and this is business.

Alexander gets a big smile as Firewoman starts laying the boots to Davin. Alexander joins her and the two of them begin to have their way with Moreland. Rabbxt is keeping Eric occupied just enough to prohibit him from saving his “new friend.” Meanwhile Davin has begun to bleed from where Fire nailed him with the coffee mug and Alexander sensing weakness in the façade of Moreland reaches down and picks up a shattered piece of the coffee mug. Alexander has Firewoman pick Moreland up and place him against the counter.

Ric Flair: BY GAWD, A CRIMSON MASK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alexander: Shut the fuck up Ric. Davin, remember how I said payback was coming. The time has come bitch. I do hope you enjoy bleeding.

With that Alex takes the shard from the coffee mug and begins digging it into Davin’s skull. The blood is really starting to pour down Davin’s face, but he continues to try and fight back. But each and every time it looks like he’s about to grab an advantage, Firewoman is there to double-team him and keep him down.

Alexander: I hope you’re not waiting for your fucking bitch running buddies to save you. They’re kind of locked in your locker room at the moment. See the thing about having so much money is you can find out backdoors to security clearances. So Phantos and Lucios are kinda stuck like rats in a cage while you’re hear getting your head bashed in.

Davin uses one last burst to try and get at Alexander, but Alexander was a step ahead of Davin and quickly picked up a frying pan from his bag of weapons. As Davin charges, Alexander steps to the side and pastes Davin right in the head with the frying pan so hard that it shatters.

Alexander: Fucking hurts doesn’t it bitch. Hey Fire, pick him up. I think it’s time Davin learned a lesson on broken bones.

Firewoman lifts Davin up and throws him into a chair in the shop. Davin is barely conscious at this point but awake enough to realize what’s going on. Firewoman has reached into the bag and handcuffed one of Davin’s hands to one of the support beams of the shop. Alexander looks around the shop and starts to smile as he notices something near where Eric and Rabbxt are still fighting back and forth.

Alexander: Look what we have here…it seems Eric is walking around the OOWF hallways like a paranoid bitch.

Alexander walks over and picks up a signed sledgehammer.

Eric O’Mac: Hey, that’s mine.

Alexander: Guess how much I care bitch. Rabbxt, shut him up.

Rabbxt runs up to the counter and springs off of it with a back tuck flip to knock Eric to the ground. The two start rolling around on the floor trading punches again while Alexander walks back over to Davin and Fire.

Alexander: So, I’ve been contemplating exactly what I should break.

Davin spits some blood at Darling. Alexander wipes it off his face
Davin Moreland: Fuck you Darling. You’re nothing but a wannabe.

Alexander: No Davin, what I am, is the next Onslaught Champion. Now as I was saying, I could break your nose, but that’s a tad cliché at this point. I have experience breaking ankles, but you’d just use that as an excuse to get out of our match Sunday. So I decided on something from the best feud in the history of our glorious sport.

With that being said Alexander takes Davin’s one free hand and places it on the table. Davin starts to struggle more as he realize what might be about to happen. Alexander does realize that the sledgehammer won’t really fit his purpose here and tosses it aside as Firewoman hands him a regular hammer. Firewoman continues to batter Davin upside his head to keep him weak while Alexander spreads Davin’s fingers wide across the table.

Alexander: Remember Davin, you did this to yourself. And this hurts me way more…ah, who the fuck am I kidding…this is gonna hurt you a whole hell of a lot more than it hurts me.

Alexander takes a second to look Davin right in the eyes as he slams the hammer down on the table right onto one of Davin’s fingers. We can hear Davin scream as the bone breaks. Alexander slaps Davin across the face to keep him looking at him.

That’s just one bitch. You have a lot more fingers to go before we’re even for my nose.

Just as Alexander is about to slam the hammer down again, he’s spun around by Eric O’Mac who’s holding the sledgehammer.

Eric: I think you dropped something punk.

Eric goes to swing the sledgehammer at Alexander but it connects with Rabbxt instead who was pushing Alexander out of the way to save his boss’s face. Alexander shakes his head and realizes what almost just happened. He begins to drag Rabbxt to his feet. Firewoman joins Alexander and the three members of DEA begin to back away from Eric. Alexander takes his newly wrapped barb wire bat out of the bag in order to keep Eric at bay as DEA leaves the sandwich shop. Eric makes sure they’re out of the room before he goes to check on Davin.

Alexander peeks his head back in the room;
Alexander: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times,

BOOYAH, Bitch!!!

[mooseheadjack]

[As Firewoman, Rabbxt, and Darling are ducking out of Ric's sandwich shop Darling is FLATTENED with the CTC! Darling drops his barb wire bat. The Dead turns and looks at Firewoman and Rabbxt.]

Dead: Take your little boss and get him the hell out of here.

[Fire and Rabbxt look like they are ready to fight.]

Dead: Now.

[Rabbxt and Fire reluctantly decide that discretion is the better part of valor and pick up Darling.]

Dead: Oh, and one more thing.

[Fire and Rabbxt turn around. The Dead swings the barb wire bat and hits Darling square in the head with a sickening thud. He is busted wide open.]

Dead: When he comes to, tell him he'd better be ready for Sunday.

[Seeing that Firewoman is the only member at 100%, the group heads back to the DEA Suite. The Dead enters Ric's shop.]

Ric: WOOOOOO! IT'S A BLOODBATH, FATBOY!!

Dead: Shut the fuck up Ric.

[The Dead surveys the scene and sees Davin still handcuffed. He then stares directly at Eric O'Mac, who is getting to his feet after his fight with Rabbxt.]

Dead: Just remember Eric, Davin's word is worth shit.

Eric: And your word is any better?

Dead: You're the one who jumped The Dead a few weeks back. It didn't happen the other way around. Remember that.

[The Dead shifts his focus over to Davin and begins to laugh.]

Dead: If you're still conscious, remember what The Dead said. If want to have any chance this weekend, you have to let the hate flow out of you. Get well soon.

[The Dead gives Eric one more look and then heads back to his locker room.]

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland waits for The Dead to round the corner before talking to The E*

DM: Why do you talk to him again?

E: I was lonely.

DM: Fair enough. You got that key Ric?

RF: WHOOO! I've got the KEY...to SPACE MOUNTAIN FATBOY!!! WOOOOO!!! I'LL NEVER RETIRE!

*Ric hands Eric the key, and he unlocks Davin's handcuffs*

DM: *immediately grabs his hand and drops to his knees* God Dammit. This has been a great fucking week. I fall through a Sound Pit. I spend all day yesterday in the Hospital. I show up here. I have lunch with you. Nice lunch. Coffee with you and Fire. Nice Coffee. Then Darling rambles on about Phantos and Lucios being locked in the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina. Except they're in FUCKING SAN ANTONIO!! And they say I'm psycho. Then Darling goes psycho, Fire makes me look like Sting, and they BROKE MY FUCKING FINGER! And then fucking Moose's bitch shows up acting like he has a shot in hell at winning Sunday. FUCK!

E: That's what being "the hunted" is all about.

DM: Heh. This is the shit you want to go through again?

E: More than anything.

DM: *pats Eric on the shoulder* That's why the shot is yours.

E: I thought THIS was my shot.

DM: HA! No. You see, I'm retaining Sunday and dropping the belt, hopefully to you at next week's Mayhem

E: Um...what?

DM: Yeah, see? It's gonna be my "hometown", and as you well know; no one ever wins in their hometown.

E: No wonder Kayfabe hates you.

DM: Yeah, well; it doesn't make sense for me to get backstaged after I'm already selling an injury, and it just builds me up to be more of a Superman. So fuck Kayfabe.

E: You have a point.

DM: At least they don't boo me like Johnny.

E: Cena?

DM: Yeah, he's actually pretty cool when he's not being a petulant little bitch.

E: You're swearing a lot in this promo.

DM: I know. Team Aquafina isn't here to hold me in check.

E: Where are they?

DM: San Antonio. Lucios told me after his match he needed to get out of Yankee-Land. Whatever the fuck that means. It's Maine, they hate the Yankees.

C'TGG'S: Me too!

DM: Hey Curt, can you tape my finger up for me?

C'TGG'S: Sure thing, Davin!

*Curt "The Golden God" Schilling expertly tapes up Davin's finger and applies bandages to his gaping wounds caused by the coffee mugs*

DM: Great job, man.

C'TGG'S: Really? Thanks. Hey, just so you know, I'm gonna be gone the rest of the month. I gotta go to Fort Myers.

DM: Why? I thought your shoulder fell apart?

C'TGG'S: I'm a clubhouse leader.

DM: Umm...Hoo-kay. See you in April?

C'TGG'S: You betcha!

*Curt 'The Golden God' Schilling grabs his duffel bag and heads for the exit. Standing at the door is Moosehead Jack*

MHJ: It's been an honor, Sir.

C'TGG'S: I'm just sorry I never got it done for Philly.

MHJ: You did all you could. Thank You.

C'TGG'S: No. Thank you, Moose. Thanks for still being a fan.

*They shake hands, and Curt 'The Golden God' Schilling leaves. Moose is...wiping tears from his eyes? briefly before re-assuming character and disappearing into the shadows. We cut back to Eric and Davin*

DM: Hey, you got sunglasses?

E: What?

DM: Sunglasses. You got your sunglasses?

E: Yeah, in my pocket.

DM: *smirks* Wanna go for a walk?

E: *catching on* Yeah, for sure. But haven't you already done this angle before?

DM: Doesn't mean it's not worth it. Besides, my boys are in Texas. I need some backup.

E: Just this once...I'm not in...

DM: I know. Just this once. For shits and giggles.

E: To shits and giggles.

*Both don their respective sunglasses*

DM: Ric, you got that?

RF: WOOOO BAH GAWD!! I GOT IT...YOU ARE...THE MAN!

*Ric tosses Davin his favorite piece of rebar. Eric picks up his sledgehammer*

DM: Ready?

*Eric Nods*

DM: Let's do this then.

*Davin nods to Eric and they're off and walking WITH PURPOSE~! to the Theme from "Kill Bill. They end up outside the DEA Locker Room, and the music fades a bit to the background. Davin Knocks. Alexis answers through the intercom*

A: Who is it?

DM: *disguising his voice, sounding like a perfect Maine-iac* Johnny's Repo. I'm hee-yah for a money bag chay-yah?

A: Yes, of course. One moment.

*Alexis opens the door and the music fires back up louder than ever. Davin kicks the door off its hinges, and Alexis takes off as far away from there as possible. Davin and Eric cross the Foyer and enter the main locker room before Alexis can scream...*

Alexis: ALEXANDER! LOOK OUT!

*Eric and Davin are able to get in with no resistance. Rabbxt is first into the room, doing a full standing double front flip. Davin catches him in mid-air*

R: Oh shit.

*Eric and Davin lay a quick but brutal beatdown on Rabbxt, likely cracking his skull, and his orbital bone looks like Jack Evans'. Alexander, apparently hearing his name, comes flying into the room, just to see Eric and Davin closing in*

Alexander: Fuck.

*Alexander puts up one hell of a fight, managing to take Eric out completely while holding off, temporarily, Davin. Finally, the bruised and bloodied Darling is overcome by the beating, and is on spaghetti legs. Davin tucks the rebar into his waistband, and gives Darling a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER onto the cement floor. Darling is conscious, but barely. Davin gets on his knees and rolls Darling over. Davin takes off Darling facemask*

DM: You just don't learn, do you? I'm the motherfucking champ for a reason...and payback...

*Davin delivers 2 vicious headbutts to Alexander's nose, breaking it...again*

DM: ...is...

*Davin grabs his rebar and bashes Darling 5 times across what's left of the bridge of his nose, twice to the temple, and twice to the forehead, leaving him a disgusting bloody mess*

DM: *almost whispering* a BOOYAH, bitch.

*Davin delivers a swift kick to the family jewels, and leaves the room looking for one more, as the recovered Eric is jawing with Alexis*

E: Dammit...WHERE IS SHE?!?!

*Alexis finally points, and both Eric and Davin head in that direction. They happen upon Firewoman, who is just sitting there. She turns around, but doesn't get up*

FW: I know.

DM: FUCKING WHY?!?!?

FW:He was right there. I mean, I'm in enough trouble already. I don't need more, ok? Sorry.

*Davin seethes*

E: I believe her.

DM: I don't. But it doesn't matter. I've done what I came here to do.

E: And it was fun.

*They head out. As Eric walks by Alexis he makes the international sign for a phone and mouths "Call me". Alexis doesn't look entirely disgusted as they leave*

E: And now?

DM: Now? Now the odds have been evened. See you Sunday, Eric.

E: Sunday, Davin.

*They part ways*

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

Just as Davin is getting back to the Run DLP Locker Room, sponsored by Aquafina he's attacked from behind by a large masked man. The masked man tosses Davin Moreland hard into the wall opening up the cut from earlier.

Masked Man: I saw what you did earlier, so let me show you what a real head butt looks like.

The masked man bashes his head across Moreland's face and we can hear the thump, thump, thump as Moreland's head starts bleeding even more. The masked men then takes his mask off.

Masked man: Since keeping my identity a secret isn't an issue, I want you to know who's doing this and why. Josh O'Neal at your service. I am the new DEA bodyguard. Pleasure to meet ya Davin.

One more headbutt right to Davin's face and for the first time since the war between Davin and Darling has started, Moreland feels the effects of a broken nose. But O'Neal isn't done as he hoists Moreland up into a reverse F-5 position. He spins the feet around and slams Moreland's head down onto the concrete floor. That's O'Neal's Obliterator and Moreland is down and out.

Josh O'Neal: My new boss wanted to forward a message to ya.

O'Neal takes out a phone and dials a number and places the call on speaker.

Boss, I'm here and he's out on the floor.

Alexander Darling: Good job, O'Neal. Get back to the suite cause I doubt this is over. Put the phone up to Moreland though.

Moreland, I hope you can hear me while you're laid out. Keep attacking me, keep breaking my nose...it won't fucking matter come Sunday when I'm standing in the ring as the new Onslaught Champion and then next week, I can go to your hometown and see you as the disgraced loser you are.

In nothing above a whisper as Josh O'Neal puts the phone near Moreland's ear.

BOOYAH, Bitch!!!

[mooseheadjack]

(Drink and Destroy are in the Destroyitarium...)

Spin Hansen: Y'know, I guess you're right on the not choosing sides thing. I guess that we could side with the highest bidder...

D.H. Magnusson: That makes us one step closer to bein' like Run DLP, Th' D.E.A, L.O.A.D.E.D., an' all of those other groups here.

Outback Jack: So basically like every other faction left in the OOWF-- flush with disposable cash and sitting securely in heavily-guarded locker rooms? Not my thing, mate.

Stank: Not exactly like that, Spin. Just... trust me on this one, OK?

Spin: You haven't steered me wrong yet. OK, well there was that one time that you and Caps gave me that bottle that you SAID was Jaegermeister...

Stank: OK, I'll admit that I did that. But it was all for the sake of comedy.

Spin: It was full of watered-down Denorex shampoo. I couldn't stop vomiting for a week and I swear to God that I still can taste the coal tar extract in my mouth sometimes.

(Everyone else laughs.)

DHM: Guys-- look at the TV. Somethin' interesting is happening...

:From Alexander Darling's last promo...Masked man: Since keeping my identity a secret isn't an issue, I want you to know who's doing this and why. Josh O'Neal at your service. I am the new DEA bodyguard. Pleasure to meet ya Davin.

One more headbutt right to Davin's face and for the first time since the war between Davin and Darling has started, Moreland feels the effects of a broken nose. But O'Neal isn't done as he hoists Moreland up into a reverse F-5 position. He spins the feet around and slams Moreland's head down onto the concrete floor. That's O'Neal's Obliterator and Moreland is down and out.

Josh O'Neal: My new boss wanted to forward a message to ya....

Spin: Damn it all to hell. Not that asshole again. (Spin grabs his crowbar.)

DHM: Guess it's time to keep our eyes peeled an' our fists raised.

Spin: You're damn right.

[mooseheadjack]

[The Dead is walking~! down the hall when he turns a corner and bumps into Firewoman. Fire looks ready to fight if necessary, but The Dead looks like he's in no mood to fight.]

Dead: Relax, if The Dead wanted to fight you, you'd know.

Fire: Well, if that's the case, I'll be on my way.

Dead: Actually, there is something The Dead wanted to talk to you about, away from the incest twins.

Fire: What do you want?

Dead: The Dead has noticed lately that you and the Darlings don't seem to be on the same page.

Fire: What are you getting at?

Dead: Look, Darling is a loose cannon, and not in a good way like The Dead. He doesn't care about you at all, he's only in it for himself.

Fire: And you're not?

Dead: Well, clearly The Dead is in it for himself, but there are much bigger things going on right now. But first, let The Dead ask you, what exactly has Darling done for you?

Fire: Well, he...

Dead: Exactly, since you became a member of DEA he's treated you like crap, failed to get you any title matches, and on top of that, he changed your music to some horrible pop garbage.

Fire: Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe some of that is true.

Dead: The fact is, the only way you're going to get anywhere is to lose the psycho.

Fire: And join you?

Dead: Not exactly. Here, take this.

[The Dead hands Firewoman a small card.]

Fire: What's this?

Dead: Bennett's card. It's got his phone number on it in case you don't want to be seen going into his office alone.

[Just then Rabbxt comes flipping around the corner and sees the two talking.]

Rabbxt: Woah! Fire, what's going on?

[Firewoman slips the card in her pocket.]

Fire: Nothing. C'mon Rabbxt, lets go.

Rabbxt: But...

Fire: Now.

[Fire and Rabbxt begin to walk away as The Dead turns back towards Firewoman.]

Dead: Just think about it.

[Fade.]

[mooseheadjack]

*Cori is bandaging Davin's wounds and gashes so they won't be as bad for tomorrow. All of a sudden, Davin starts laughing hysterically as he's watching OOWF-TV*

C: What?

DM: Did you see that?

C: See what?

*Davin rewinds the TiVO*

DM: This...

:Originally posted by TheDead
Dead: Well, clearly The Dead is in it for himself,

*Davin falls on the floor in uncontrollable laughter. Cori soon joins in, unable to control herself*

C: That's some funny shit right there. *laughs*

DM:*laughs* He said it with a straight face and everything! *laughs*

*we fade as the two are still laughing*