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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:12:34 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Kashkinen Finland
OOWF Intercontinental Title Steel Cage Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. F. Fonzworth MacCappington
OOWF Onslaught Championship 4 Way Dance[/u]
Bunny vs. The Dead vs. Beast vs. Firewoman
Round Robin Tag Team Tournament[/u]
The Midnight Sons (1-0) vs. The Heels (0-1)
BAD (1-0) vs. IHOP (0-0)
Phantos & Lucios vs. Blitz & Voltage
Donovan Viper vs. Firechild
Mark Vander vs. Capellan
Davin Moreland & Stank vs. LD Williams & Eric O'Mac
Chris Cole vs. Concrete TG
Outback Jack vs. Ecosystem
card subject to dementia
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:13:19 GMT -5
Capellan reads the card and raises his eyebrows.
"Mark Vander? When the heck did he come back?" he shrugs, goes to a payphone, feeds in a bucket load of coins, and punches in a number from memory. "Hey Tommy! How's things? ... Great! And Missy? ... Awesome! Any thoughts on names? ... Yeah, we should totally catch up. ... Iceland, but we'll be back in the States soon enough. ... Yeah, let me know when's good. ... Listen, does Missy still have all those tapes of from back when she was with Mark Vander? ... He's back in the OOWF and I need to scout his work. ... No, that wasn't the only reason I called. ... Well, maybe. ... Okay, I owe you a favour. What do you want from me? ... Base jumping off Mount Rushmore? Won't we get arrested? ... Okay, okay. I'll do it. ... Yeah, let me check the schedule and we'll fix a date. ... Good to speak to you, too. Later."
Cap hangs up, shaking his head, and turns around to bump nose to nose with Moose.
"Given any thought to Bennett's offer, kid? Rick's ship is sinking."
"I'm not on Rick's ship." Cap shrugs, "And even if I was, I wouldn't desert it. Only a rat would do that."
"Looked to me like you were in Rick's posse last night."
"I'll spell it out simple, Moose. I'm not for Rick, I'm against you."
"Hey, this is Bennett and Eric's war, not mine."
"Right. Even if that were true, you're on their side, and that makes the opposing team the only place I can be. You're poison, Moose. As far as I am concerned, Bennett's right to have a beef with Rick. But if you're on his side, I can't support him."
"So just walk away, like the other cow -" Moose coughs, "- Neutrals."
"All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Cap quotes. Moose sighs.
"You really believe that shit, don't you? Guess there's no reasoning with some people."
MHJ gestures, and a swarm of Bennett supporters pile in for the multi-man beatdown on Capellan.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:13:56 GMT -5
<Moose is walking out of the medical staff room before the beat down on Capellan with his arm heavily bandaged when LD Williams walks up to him>
LD: Hows the wing?
MHJ: Hairline fracture, probably out till the Japan show
LD: That sucks man
MHJ: Not really. Crete can't touch me if I am not an active performer. Now he has to wait even longer to get some revenge
LD: Only you would see a broken bone as a positive. So what do you do till then?
MHJ: Hey, Bennett pulled some strings, I have a brand new managers license, I can second anyone I want to the ring.
LD: Look Moose I am not sure if I need.....
MHJ: Look, LD, think about it, you want me there, say the word, I already told you I am not interfering, you win that title, you are winning it because you are better than Stank, not because I handed it to you.
LD: I'll let you know
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:15:15 GMT -5
Firewoman and Alexis Darling, as her business representative, are sitting in the front of the OOWF make-shift offices. There are voices coming from the other office, from behind a closed door, but they can't make out what's being said.
FW: What could possibly be taking so long?
AD: Who knows? I hope this was worth it.
Firewoman shrugs somewhat defiantly. The door opens and Davin Moreland, Erlana, and Ecosystem file out. Erlana sits behind her desk, flanked by Davin and Ecosystem.
FW: Well, how presidential looking.
Er: I think you're in enough trouble as it is.
FW: Well, let's have it then....
AD: Will you shut up and let me do the talking? [addressing the acting-GM team] As Firewoman's representative, I must insist that she has every right to....
Er: Can it, Darling. [Directly to Firewoman] You've really put us in a bind, Firewoman. Our promotional plans included a pretty big push for your return to Japan, and as shallow as this sounds, your physical appearance is important, especially as your hair color was your big trademark over there. We were really relying on you to sell tickets. Now, even if we redo the publicity posters, it still won't have the same effect.
FW: Well, what can I say. I felt I needed a change.
Eco: Well, you're not allowed to just do whatever whenever you feel like it. I've looked over your file as I step in for Rick, and we really did take a chance bringing you in. And you did sign the contract, knowing full well what the restrictions were.
[Firewoman sits silently and sullenly, looking at her boots.]
Eco: Specifically this clause here:
DM: Look, I'd like to help you out here, but my hands are tied. We just got off a conference call with Rick, and he's very disappointed.
Firewoman continues to be silent, as if she's not hearing
AD: I really don't think this is an issue. Firewoman's reputation is enough to draw the tickets.
Er: It's not that simple, Alexis, and you know it. The first thing people see is the photographs. Her fans don't see her on it at first, they won't look a second time. If we hadn't lost the earlier ones, it may not be that big of a deal, but as it stands now, I'm afraid we have no choice.
DM: You don't happen to know anything about that, do you FIREwoman?
Firewoman looks up for the first time.
FW: No, I don't. I got off the bus, checked in to my room, and went to bed. That's it.
Davin looks at her a bit more closely
FW: Seriously. I have... um, an alibi.
AD: Huh?
FW: Sven the bellboy. Just ask him. Didn't leave the room all night.
AD: You mean the one who came to our room? That you told me to go for? UGH!!! We weren't even in Iceland an hour!!!
Alexis is disgusted. Firewoman shrugs.
Er: Okay, you guys can take care of this amongst yourselves. Can we get back to the issue at hand? Davin, perhaps this better come from you.
Alexis and Firewoman look back to the GMs. Firewoman goes back to slouching and staring at her boots.
DM: I'm sorry Fire. The contract is clear. As of this moment, you are officially suspended for 60 days.
FW: WHAT? [No longer sitting, she is now up and standing, and defiant. She turns to Alexis.] Dammit, Alexis, this is the last time I listen to you.
AD: What?
FW: This was all your idea. Seriously, Erlana... Davin... Alexis, who is supposed to be a representative in my corner, told me this is would all be okay, so that there would be no problem!
AD: I did not!!!
FW: Look, I understand this is in the end my responsibility, and if you tell me to go home, I'll go. But I'm not going down alone, Alexis. If I'm outta here, so are you.
The two women come nose to nose, and it looks like a cat-fight is about to erupt. Davin steps between the two women, and pushes Firewoman slightly to separate them.
DM: Okay enough! Fire, why you stick with this group I'll never know, but that's your decision.
Er: Unfortunately Fire, Alexis's contract is different. As much as I think she deserve it, we have no grounds for suspending her. She'll have to stay here.
Alexis nods. Firewoman fumes.
Ec: We'll see you get to the airport, Fire. You'll get on board a plane to the states, and then we'll see you in Taiwan on May 21. If you don't show, we'll consider that your resignation.
FW: Fine. Whatever. She storms out into the hallway.
DM: Alexis....
AD: Save it. Alexis, too leaves, albeit less dramatically than Firewoman.
Out in the hall, Firewoman is leaning with her back against the wall and her head down. Alexis approaches her
AD: Well?
FW: [Firewoman lifts her head to reveal a broad smile] That so totally sparkles for me.
AD: Yeah. Doesn't do me much good.
FW: Sorry, I tried.
AD: I know. Alexander will think of something.
FW: Hopefully. Okay, I guess I better go pack. Oh, and I lied about Sven. He'll back me up, but he's all yours. He told me he kinda digs you.
AD: I hate you. Alexis stalks away.
Firewoman walks down the hall the opposite direction, still smiling. She turns a corner and enters the Hallway of Random Encounters. She takes a few steps and runs into ... Moosehead Jack.
MHJ: We have to stop meeting like this. And what is that? A smile? I didn't know you did that.
FW: Well, you get your wish, because for two glorious months I will not be running into you in any random hallways. Suspended. Didn't ask mommy if I could dye my hair.
MHJ: How interesting. You're taking it well.... for you, you're taking in INCREDIBLY well.
FW: What can I say, I'm a kinder, gentler Firewoman. Ciao, gotta pack.
MHJ: [He steps in front of her, to block her path]So...how long?
FW: Two months. Will be back for the show in Taiwan. See ya.
Firewoman again tries to step around him, but Moose again counters and blocks her path.
MHJ: Taiwan, eh. Wow. That's pretty convenient timing on your part.
FW: Is it? Hadn't noticed. Now if you'll excuse me, gotta clear out.
Firewoman sidesteps him a third time, and this time he lets her pass. He watches her as she walks down the hall.
MHJ: We'll see, Firewoman....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:15:37 GMT -5
(Spin Hansen and D.H. Magnusson are standing against the traditional chain link interview wall...)
SFJ #14: I'm here with the Midnight Sons. Spin and D.H., what do you think about your match today with The Heels?
SH: I've fought with them before, and they're fierce competitors with a long history of championships behind them. They've climbed the mountain, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But you know what? I don't give a rat's ass about their history. All I see are two more people standing in the way of the championships. Two people who have a long history of having their asses BEATEN TO THE GROUND by Drink & Destroy, and D.H. and I are going to be happy to carry on that tradition.
DHM: An' let me tell ya somethin' else, Shannon... we've got extra incentive to make these jagoffs pay in blood. Our army are the fans... an' they sure as hell didn't like what they saw on Sunday. Neither did I.
SH: As big as an asshole as The Rick is, he didn't deserve that. Being run out of town on a rail? Maybe. Getting his ass kicked by one guy? I'd volunteer to do it if he could make it a fight. But having thirteen men brutally attack him? No. Now we're not saying that we're suddenly joining the Rick Squad of Justice. Not a chance. But we're also firm in our neutrality.
DHM: An' above all things... we're gonna win those titles back. You've got your sound byte, Shannon. We've got to see a man about a portable sauna for the Destroyitarium.
SH: Bring your best, Heels. We're bringing ours.
(The two walk off.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:19:45 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is SITTING~! in Interim GM the Erlana's office after Firewoman and Alexis' episode. He's having a rare cocktail; having scotch w/ Erlana*
DM: Well, that was retarded.
E: What?
DM: Rick. He continues day by day to show what an absolute idiot he can be.
E: What the hell, Davin?
DM: Seriously? You don't think this is all a little too convenient that Fire's suspension takes her past the Japan date?
E: Oh. Fuck.
DM: Yeah, oh fuck. Jesus, you could have had her dye her hair back instead of giving her a free 2-month vacation and exactly what she wanted. You know that suspension is WITH pay, right?
E: Dammit Rick...
DM: See?
E: *sighs* You see, he's not usually this stupid...Usually he's on top of this stuff...
DM: I know, Erlana. But ever since this Bennett thing started it's like he channeled Sting and got a labotomy at the same time.
E: Heh.
DM: Not that funny.
E: *getting aggravated so her accent is getting stronger* What do you want me to do Davin? I can't tell him to quit.
DM: We don't want that. But his missing the World Tour may be a blessing in disguise. Besides. I've got a nice surprise that I think we all can live with. *Davin pulls out his Sprint PCS Phone and sends a text message*
E: What?
DM: You'll see.
*knock at the door*
*Davin answers the door, and Stank and Ecosystem are there*
DM: Gentlemen, come on in. Drink?
S: Duh.
Eco: None for me thanks. I'm confused as it is.
DM: Well, let me try to clear things up for you a bit. A long time ago in a land far, far away you were once the GM of the OOWF, yes?
Eco: God, I was just a kid then.
DM: But you were, right?
Eco: Yes.
DM: Well, as you well know, Rick is recovering stateside and likely won't be able to join us on our World Tour. This leaves us for months without a GM.
Eco: Well, that's where you come in, right?
DM: You would think, yes, the only problem is, I shouldn't be an active wrestler AND be on the booking committee as well.
MHJ: Hey Davin.
DM: Hey Moose.
Eco: I see.
DM: So Erlana and I reprised an idea that was hatched with Rick, that Stank take over as GM on an interim basis.
S: But the more I thought about it, the less of a good idea that sounded like.
Erl: And I just don't have the experience with the workers here to be an effective GM. I'm just Rick's mouthpiece.
DM: We need an autonomous voice who can make decisions and do the job on a daily basis. We think you'd be the best candidate for that.
Eco: Wasn't I on Bennett's side, like, yesterday?
DM: You were?
SM: It's-a ME!
Eco: Not now, Mario.
ME: Es-a yo!
Eco: You either Mario Estupendo.
S: That's in the past now.
DM: Kayfabe doesn't care either.
*Kayfabe comes in, shakes her head, gives Eco the thumbs up sign, and leaves with a big smile*
S: Take the job, Eco
Erl: Yes, Eco.
DM: We want you to have it, Eco.
SM: Take-a the job, the Eco.
ME: Tome el trabajo, Eco.
E: You know what? I'll do it!
DM: All right. Now listen, I'll still be working in here with Erlana most of the time, and Stank will come in on consults from time to time as well. We're a team, but we need someone to rally around. Eco, you're the head of "Team Not Bennett". We need a better name.
SM: Team-a Super Mario! It's-a ME!
*Super Mario steps on Mario Estupendo's head, and Mario Estupendo shrinks to half his normal size*
ME: Usted mama del penga! Le mataré!
*Super Mario and Mario Esupendo chase each other around the room*
E: We'll work on a name.
DM: Fine. Stank, let me get you lunch.
S: Umm, ok.
*Stank and Davin leave and head toward the Hall Of Fame Sandwich Shop*
S: So what did you want to talk to me about?
DM: We have a tag match this week.
S: I'm aware of that.
DM: Well, I had some ideas...
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:20:45 GMT -5
<Moose and Bennett are watching OOWF TV and see Eco defect and join the enemy>
LJB: CHRIST! WE CANNOT LET THAT STAND!! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS!!! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS!!! WELL ARE YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING OR NOT?
<Moose just sits there and looks uninterested>
LJB: WELL???
MHJ: Bennett calm down. Its Eco. He and I have crossed before and I beat him. He's a great wrestler and all, but he can't handle the pressure of being in charge, he cracked once, and that was when there was less pressure than there is now. He'll crack again. Beside, you know damn well that when LOADED signed up, it was mostly for MacCappington and Viper. We knew going in that Eco and Hardcore were barely aligned with them anymore. What's more important right now is that Fire suspension needs to get changed.
LJB: What? Why do you care about that? It hurts DEA, I figured that would thrill you.
MHJ: Oh it does. And Darling doing what he did to Eric thrills me even more, what a fucking tool. Anyway, we need Fire in Japan.
LJB: She won't be happy about it
MHJ: At the moment, no. In time, I think she will change her tune.
<fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:22:20 GMT -5
[The Dead walks into Bennett's office right after the exchange between LJB and Moose.]
Dead: Bennett, we need to talk.
LJB: Have a seat.
[The Dead sits down while Moosehead Jack hovers in the background.]
LJB: We're not going to have a repeat of the last time you were here, right? No broken TVs or anything...
Dead: No, actually The Dead wanted to thank you.
LJB: Is that so?
Dead: Yeah, The Dead has been busting his ass for weeks and hasn't lost in quite a while.
LJB: I've noticed. That's why you have a shot at the Onslaught Title this week.
Dead: And that's exactly why The Dead is here. The Dead is glad you've been paying attention. The Dead never got a fair shot at that belt.
LJB: Correct.
Dead: So The Dead just wants to assure you that he will do everything in his power to bring that belt back to where it belongs at Mayhem.
LJB: That's just what I wanted to hear. Now, do you know anything about the fire that took place?
Dead: That was not The Dead's doing.
LJB: What about your friend?
Dead: You mean El Muerte? He's a little crazy, but fire isn't really his thing. He has been getting a little antsy lately though...
LJB: Ok, I believe you. Now there's one little favor I need you to do for me. Don't worry, it's nothing major.
Dead: What is it?
LJB: You seem pretty close to Firewoman. I need to talk to her about her suspension. Maybe you can let her know that.
Dead: The Dead will see what he can do.
LJB: Excellent.
[The Dead stands up to leave. He turns to Moosehead Jack and looks at his arm.]
Dead: Just a flesh wound, right?
Moose: I'll be back when it matters. Trust me.
[The Dead and Moose exchange sly grins and The Dead leaves the room.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:22:46 GMT -5
*as the dead leaves the room, he bumps into the beast.*
The Dead: get out of the dead's way!
The Beast: hold it there bucko. you know we're in a match together this week, right?
D: and the dead is leaving that match with the title. now move!
B: woah woah. calm down. listen. i just need your help with something.
D: what?
B: this pickle jar. the lid's on reeeaaaal tight. think you could help me get it off?
D: why should the dead help you with a pickle jar?
B: come on. we got no beef. i just met you. why not help?
D: fine. give the dead the pickle jar.
*the takes the jar and with one big twist opens the jar and miraculously THE BEAST POPS OUT! beast pummels the dead till he can barely stand up.
B: that's for refering to yourself in the third person. god i hate that shit. we'll continue this in the ring.
*beast walks off*
*moose and bennett watch this whole thing from the doorway.*
LJB: did he just pop out of that jar even though he was standing right there next to it?
MHJ: don't get me started. i could never understand what physics had against that guy. they just don't apply.
LJB: we need that guy on our side.
MHJ: more trouble than he's worth, man. more trouble than he's worth.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:23:11 GMT -5
*FADE IN TO THE PALACIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*
Skurge, SYB and the Lovely & Talented Dorothy Mantooth are relaxing on their personal recliners.
DM: Nice win boys.
SYB: Now everyone knows that we're a force to be reckoned with, eh? That's why (turns to the camera) breakfast and pain are served all day at IHOP.
Skurge: Wow. That was... gay.
SYB: I'm Canadian, there's a difference.
Skurge: Whatever, beefy tits.
SYB: (to Dorothy) Speaking of beefy tits, any word from Moose yet?
DM: No. He still hasn't decided which team to back.
SYB: Fuckin' Moose... that creep can wrestle, man.
Skurge:Yeah, but he's a pervert, dude.
SYB: Yeah.
Skurge: No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Wayne County Jail for exposing himself to an eight-year-old.
SYB: Oh!
Skurge: When he moved to Detroit he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
DM: I heard about that. They called him MooseheadJackson because he liked to make little boys bleed.
SYB: That's right, the little boys even had swinging nightlights and cried about trusting him.
Skurge: Ohhh that's bad.
SYB: Speaking of which, who are we taking on next week?
Skurge: We're fighting BAD.
SYB: WE? I'm carrying this team, you Joo bastard.
Skurge: Goat cock. Eat one.
DM: Skurge, we're taking on the team known as BAD.
Skurge: Sha'mon!
SYB: Great, you can lighten your skin and become Captain Joo Albino.
Skurge: I fucking hate you.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:23:49 GMT -5
Viper is in the LOADED locker room lifting weights. LD Williams and Moose walk in
DV: What's up guys?
LDW: Well, we were just wondering...
MHJ: Why weren't you there to beat down Capellan with us?
DV: You beat down Capellan?
MHJ: Yeah, read Capellan's promo again. *kayfabe falls over and cries*
DV: Ok, so the crew beat up Capellan.
LDW: But what that promo failed to mention is that you weren't part of the crew to beat up Capellan.
DV: Right... Well, I was here preparing for next week's match.
MHJ: Don't feign like you didn't know. I know you have a weird thing about Capellan, that you deep down inside, you feel guilty about ditching him months ago.
DV: I do not feel guilty about anything I did.
MHJ: Oh? Then why don't you want to fight him? Why don't you join us when we beat him down?
DV: I still have respect for him, ok? The dude... he went out of his way for me when I came back, and I don't forget that shit.
MHJ: RESPECT? WE'RE AT WAR, DONNIE! WE SHOULD NOT BE RESPECTING OUR ENEMIES!!!
LDW: Moose, calm down. Let me handle this. Listen, Donnie. We can respect each other all we want, but we gotta do what it takes to win this thing. And when I say 'we' that includes you. You and, despite having many many differences even in the recent past, despite wanting to tear each other's throats out, we always had some kind of respect for each other. Well, except for when you called my mom, that wasn't respectful. But you know what I'm saying.
DV: HEy, I'm with you guys. And if you guys want to beat the crap out of Capellan, I won't stop you. But that's the one guy I do that to. Everyone else, fair game.
MHJ: Viper. Are you with us, or are you against us?
DV: When did you turn into George W. Bush, Moose?
LDW: Oooh, burn!
MHJ: Man, fuck you guys.
DV: Speaking of burn. I see I'm fighting Firechild tonight. Now that Crete's back, am I to expect some superhero bullshit?
LDW: I'm willing to bet so, yes.
DV: Fucking dorks... I'd rather be fighting Firewoman.
LDW: Knowing you, you'd rather be doing something else to Firewoman.
Stank (casually walking by): Not having sex with her, that's for sure. *POP* OW!
DV: So.. we got a Firechild, and a Firewoman. All that's missing is a Fireman.
LDW: Uh... you might wanna rephrase what you just said.
MHJ: Yeah. That sounded kinda...
DV: What? Oh.... OOOOHHHH... Yeah....
Firebreaker Chip walks in.
FBC: Did someone say they needed a fireman here?
MHJ: Well, this promo sure went to shit... *kayfabe flutters on the floor like a fish out of water*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:24:42 GMT -5
”Master of Puppets” begins and “The Main Event” Chris Cole steps onto the ramp to a chorus of jeers. He is wearing an Armani Suit and has a giant grin on his face. He is followed a few steps back by a large man in brown robes with the hood over his head. He is easily over 6’. There is a Celtic Symbol on the back of the robe. His head is down and only a bit of facial hair can be seen by the camera. Cole gets into the ring and throws up the 3PS sign. The man moves to the corner and remains motionless. After taking in more boos Cole yells at a ring jockey to grab a mic for him.
CC: You all have to be the DUMBEST fans on the planet. (Loud Boos and an Asshole Chants starts) Did you guys really fall for the “New” Chris Cole? Did you really believe that I would let Rick get the better of me? I told him he would pay for deliberately screwing me out of MY OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! I vowed revenge and I wanted that Steel Cage Match. But Rick would never man up enough for that to happen. But then Moosehead Jack and Concrete and their blood feud gave me the golden opportunity. After Concrete left Moose and I knew that Rick would be furious at Jack. He’d be more pissed then we’d ever seen him. Moose and I, we sat down and we ironed out our differences. You see when Moose laid me out during our last partnership that was business. We both know that sometimes you have to get your hands dirty to be the best. And make NO mistake about it, in the OOWF the best two wrestlers in company history are myself and Jack. Sometime down the line Jack may need to be taken out and he is quite aware that I will do it.
But that time was not now. No, no, no, rather we devised this brilliant plan. Moose & I would position ourselves on opposite ends of the war. We would drive Rick to the point of paranoia and that is when he needs the reassurance of a tested Champion. Fear of Jack is what led to the series of events that put our General Manager into the cage. And by god it worked perfectly. I want to watch that again. Now where was that remote for the HD Monitor? I swiped it from Flame’s gym bag earlier. Here it is.
Cole lowers the tron and we see clips of the brutal beating he gave to Rick inside the Cage. It is very bloody and looks spectacular in stunning HD.
CC: Wow, it is really is great looking in H-
Cole is cut off by “I Disappear”. Firechild walks slowly down the ramp. He is not smiling. Cole stands proudly in the ring and flashes the 3PS sign. Firechild enters the ring and sees the sign but does not return it. He grabs a microphone.
FC: I can’t believe you.
CC: What? Is this about swiping the remote? Here you go.
FC: Was all of this lies to get back at Rick. Did you mean anything you’ve said the last few months? Why did you fight to release me from MacCappington? Why did we go through the hassle of reforming 3 Piece Set?
CC: Rick made our lives a living hell.
FC: He made YOUR life hell.
CC: Lighten up. We are 3 Piece Set. We do WHATEVER we want WHENEVER we want. The fact that I held back on plans shouldn’t matter. I released you from MacCappington, we had some fun reliving old times, what was the harm?
FC: The harm is I’m not sure that I know who you are.
CC: You know me. I’m the same person I’ve always been. I’m the best damn wrestler in the world. I’m the guy who always gets what he wants. I’m the guy that you need to be aligned with to make the most out of your career. Fire, I love you like a brother, but you are either with me or you are against me.
Fire thinks it over. The fans are yelling obviously wanting him to attack his partner. Finally he brings the mic up to his face again.
FC: I don’t know yet.
CC: Because we are friends I’l give you time to think it over. Now, if you don’t mind I’m not finished here.
Firechild drops the mic and heads to the back obviously deep in thought.
CC: Now where was I? Ah yes The Rick has been brutally beaten. So now what? What was the deal with Moose? What are my connections with Bennett? I swear you fans have more questions then the retard Lost fanboys.
Moose and Bennett got to inflict a critical strike on Rick when I destroyed him in a cage. I got my cage match. Win, win. As far as Bennett and myself in the future, we have a good working relationship. You see I bring something to the table that Bennett needs. Experience. Some of you know this but for the morons out there that only started watching OOWF recently I have had success in another promotion called BTW. Eerily my OOWF career as paralleled my BTW Career. At the first BTW Show I won the World Tag Team Championship. Then after being the best Tag Wrestler I quickly became the BTW World Champion. You see the parallel? When I came to OOWF I quickly won the OOWF World Tag Team Championship with 3 Piece Set. And despite what Capps and Adrenaline say we were the greatest Champs in OOWF History. We dominated for a year like no other. But right after that run I went singles and within the year I was OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. The best in the world. Parallel. So jumping back to the BTW for those who don’t know after a great run with the World Title I transitioned into an even greater role. I was the Commissioner of the BTW. I ran the company. I booked matches. I was the one in charge. And now it comes full circle. Bennett needs me because I will be the one to guide the OOWF. I can bring us into the next decade as the strongest wrestling company in the world. And you all know that I get what I want.
So to all the boys in the back, there’s a new sheriff in town. His name is “The Main Event” Chris Cole. Things are going to be my way. I’m the best damn leader you could ever ask for. I’ve got the brains to strategically align us in the market today. I have the charisma to lead. And most of all I still have the talent to dominate. Don’t forget who won the OOWF Invitational. Don’t forget who has a dominating record since returning. Don’t forget I’m the number one contender for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Stank, don’t worry my former adversary; I’m not coming to collect just yet. I still have things to shape. But keep in mind that whenever I decide is the time that I will take MY OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP back. And there isn’t a damn thing you or anybody else can do about it.
”With Jupiter in Mind” fires up and crowd explodes as Concrete TG makes his way down the ramp with rage in his eyes. He gets in the ring and stands toe to toe with Cole.
CTG: I did not come back to the OOWF to watch a scoundrel like you run the company into the ground. I gave up a shot at the WWE Title and I’m damn sure going to keep you from destroying this company. So this week it will be your turn to feel what Moose did.
CC: Is that so?
CTG: It is.
CC: And what if I’ve got something to say about it?
Crete thinks it over for a second and then swings. Crete and Cole are trading blows right in the center of the ring and the crowd is going wild. Rights, lefts, rights, lefts, both are getting shots in until Crete finally gains the advantage and hits multiple blows stunning “The Main Event”. Finaally a right hand drops Cole. Crete makes the sign for the Cement Mixed when all of a sudden he is flipping heels over head. THE MAN IN THE BROWN ROBE HAS ATTACKED WITH A CLOSELINE!
Now the large man lays into Crete with huge haymakers. Crete tries to fight back but a timely knee by this giant stops him. He then lifts Crete up for a military press slam. Crete crashes to the canvas with a thud. The man is not finished. He hoists Crete up for a powerbomb. He slams Crete down and picks him up again, double powerbomb, then again TRIPLE POWERBOMB! Who is this animal. He flips the hood down and we see a very familiar face. Former Devil’s Brigade Member Harper Camby is smiling an evil smile. He takes the robe off and flexs his supplement enhanced physique.
Cole takes advantage by slapping on the Indian Deathlock to Crete. Crete is practically unconscious at this point. Camby has left the ring and comes back with a table. He sets it up in the middle of the ring. Cole keeps the leglock on and Camby kicks Crete continually in the head. Why is nobody saving Crete? Could the boys in the back still be bitter that he left the OOWF for the WWE? Finally Cole lets go. But it is only because Camby is ready to deliver the coup de grace. Up goes Crete and down he crashes through the table. A DOMINATOR through the table has Crete motionless. Camby and Cole stand over the fallen Crete and throw up the 3PS sign. “Master of Puppets” starts and the two leave the ring to stunned silence.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:25:44 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland leaves GM the Ecosystem's office, and standing outside is the CBS Evening News' Katie Couric*
CENKC: Davin! Can I get a word with you?
DM: Sure thing Katie, always have time for you.
CENKC: The big news is Chris Cole has declared war on the OOWF and anyone in support of Rick, and then brutally attacked Concrete TG with the help of Harper Camby of all people. Do you have a response?
DM: You know me Katie, always good for a response. Let's get a couple things straight. First off, there was a reason no one came to help Concrete TG in the ring. That reason is, he's a fraud and a traitor, and if he expects help from any of us he's looking in the wrong place. We didn't need you back, we didn't WANT you back - yet you came back, and now you're trying to be the voice of the people. You see Takaken, any shred of credibility you once had is gone, and you're no better nor worse than those supporting LB Bennett in a lot of our eyes. So do us all a favor, and stay the hell out of our way. You want to go play with Moose? Fine, but don't stick your nose in where it's not welcome.
CENKC: You mean with Cole?
DM: THE MAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN EVENT! Chris Motherfuckin' Cole. I'd say I'm surprised by your recent course of action, but of course, I'm not. I had you pegged from the moment you came back; unfortunately Rick was so blind to it he refused to see it. But that's past now Cole; you've made your choice and you've got to live with it. Now, dragging Harper Camby out of mothballs and beating the living shit out of Concrete TG...I don't know if you thought that was going to get a reaction out of anyone, but I'll tell you one thing - I was nearly applauding. He deserves to get beat down. I'll say this though...
DM: No one can beat you? Excuse me? No one can beat you? Greatest ever? Mr. Cole, I believe you're forgetting what drove you from the OOWF in the first place, and that was 5 CONSECUTIVE LOSSES at the hands of Davin Moreland. That's right. Mr. World Champ, Mr. Main Event got his ass kicked 5 straight times by lil' ol me. So, that got me to thinking Cole; hows about I offer you a challenge...that's an actual challenge, and not a joke.
DM: You. Me. Best of 7. Think of it this way Cole, if it goes more than 4 matches you've already won, right? Now, I don't expect you to accept this Cole - I mean, God knows you wouldn't want to have to do any actual work as "The Main Event"; it's a lot easier beating up on jobbers, non-wrestlers and Takaken. Hows about taking on someone who you simply haven't been able to beat in a long time? You want someone to step to the plate with you Cole? You got it. Me. You. Best of 7. Starting Next Week. Simple answer Cole, it's yes, or it's no. If it's no, be advised, I'll taunt you every time you grab a mic; every time you cut a promo, because you're too big of a pussy to face me. I don't blame you. All that losing has to hurt.
*Davin leaves. Katie throws it back to the studio*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:26:34 GMT -5
Metrosexual Male Journalist #3 is Johnny on the Spot to get an interview with "The Main Event" right after Davin's challenge.
MMJ: Chris Cole. First you shocked the world by turning on Rick. Then you had another surprise when you brought back Harper Camby to lay out Concrete. You have drawn the ire of Davin Moreland. How do you respond.
CC: I've said my piece about Rick already. You heard it out there in the arena. So I'm going to move onto Mr. Camby. Before The Devil's Brigade Harper Camby lived the Rock & Roll Life. He lived by the Set motto even without being a part of it. So I gave him a call and asked if he wanted to come back to the OOWF to kick some ass and rule the industry. Big Harp was all over it. I've got an important job now. With Rick out of the way somebody has to lead this company and I'm the man with the experience.
MMJ: Davin was the Assistant GM.
CC: All the more reason for me to knock him down a peg.
MMJ: So will you accept the challenge?
CC: I've got the title shot in my back pocket so I can cash that in whenever I want. Like I said before I have some business to take care of. First I'm going to send Concrete crawling back to Vince beggin for that job back. I'm not a tool like that punk Randy Orton. I will deal punishment to Crete just like I did tonight. Crete, you should have kept your nose out of the OOWF. We don't want you back.
As far as Moreland goes I'll accept his challenge. Once I'm done with Crete I'll kick your ass 4 weeks in a row to shut you up. You keep bringing up your five wins in a row. Truth of the matter is at that point I didn't even know who you were. I wrestled that last month in a daze and it wasn't because you were beating me. Rick had driven me to the edge and it wasn't until a month after I left that I got the epiphany on how I would get my revenge. The plan has been hatched and delivered with perfect results. So Moreland the man you will face now will not be the same man you once met. You don't have the World Championship pedigree to keep up with me and I'll beat that into you just so you will shut up and I'll never have to hear you whine about your wins again.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:28:16 GMT -5
<After Davin's promo he meets up with Stank at the Hall of Fame sandwich Shoppe.>
Davin - Fuckin Chris Cole.
Stank - Yeah, that's the Cole I know.
Davin - Did you order, yet?
Stank - I did.
<Davin turns to Windham, who is running the shoppe in Ric's absence, and orders himself a sandwich then pays for his and Stank's orders.>
Davin - So...
Stank - Save it Moreland. I'm still not ready to join anyone's army.
Davin - God DAMN IT, LUCAS! What the FUCK is it going to TAKE!?! You HATE Bennett, and I KNOW you have no love for Chris Motherfuckin COLE!
Stank - You're not wrong about that, but there is a lot to consider here.
Davin - Oh fuck you and your consideration. The ONLY thing you should be considering here is what kind of OOWF do you want to work for... one ruled by the likes of Bennett, Eric and Cole... or one... not.
Stank - I notice you failed to mention Rick's name in that little diatribe.
Davin - Well he's part of it, of course.
Stank - And therein lies my trouble. Rick has changed, or maybe I just have refused to notice he's been like this all along. I've been slowly losing confidence in his leadership. It would seem nothing would indicate this more than my endorsement of that nutcase Ecosystem as GM. Davin let me ask you something. Why have you so wholeheartedly unabashedly supported Rick in this cause?
Davin - There are days I wonder that myself, but the short answer is Rick is the one who cut me my first break, even after all the crap I put him and the OOWF through when I wasn't on my meds. Rick made sure I got help. Stabilized me enough to become the longest reigning Onslaught Champion. Despite my annoyance with him lately, I am eternally grateful for what he has done for me. And really... despite it all... he's a DAMN sight better than the likes of Bennett and his crew. I don't like the way they do business. And NO one deserves what Rick got. I don't care whether you think he brought that down on himself or not.
<Stank turns his head in consideration of Davin's words.>
Davin - If you ask me, Champ, I think the decision is being made for you. I know you respect Rick even if you don't respect me or any one else on this side... consider the alternative.
Stank - It's not true that I don't respect you... there are a lot on both sides that I respect plenty, which doesn't make producing a decision any easier... I need to think about this some more. Honestly, the only thing I've been focused on since this war started is fending off Viper and LD Williams. The dynamics of this war have changed.
Davin - Meaning?
Stank - Meaning... it ain't just about Rick and Bennett anymore. Meaning this thing has mutated into more than grievances held by key players on Bennett's side. There's a lot more at stake.
Davin - I've been saying that all along.
Stank - Yeah, well... I wasn't willing to believe it until recently.
<Windham returns with the sandwiches. Stank grabs his.>
Stank - I'll let you know of my decision either way before our match at Mayhem.
Davin - You're that determined to keep me hangin?
Stank - It's going have to do. Thanks for sandwich.
<Stank leaves Davin standing by the sandwich counter.>
Davin - ... fuck.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:28:37 GMT -5
(D.H. Magnusson and Outback Jack are sitting in the Destroyitarium. Spin Hansen comes in through a side door, wearing a towel.)
SH: SO glad we got that sauna.
DHM: Whatever you say, Sasquatch.
(OBJ and the bartender laugh heartily.)
SH: Fuck you guys, I'm not shaving my damn back.
(A phone rings. D.H. picks it up.)
DHM: Uh huh... yeah... Harper who? Three Piece Set? We'll talk later. Thanks for keepin' me posted.
(He hangs up.)
Guys, I just got a phone call from one of the Ninja Cameramen. He said that it looks like Cole's re-forming the Three Piece Set and that Harper Camby's the first recruit. Who's Harper Camby?
OBJ: Camby's a 'roided up freak. Used to be part of the Devil's Brigade. He and I have scrapped more times than I can count.
SH: He's no pushover, but he's beatable. It just makes me wonder who's going to join them... I don't want to deal with the Set again. We've got more factions vying for power here than I'd like, and adding The Set is just another step. With Crete back, we might see the Heroes come back... what's next, a new Ministry of Dawgness? The return of The Dragons? I don't like the way that things are going. Not one damn bit. All of this seems to have started since that sonofabitch O'Neal came back and started working as hired muscle for the D.E.A..
OBJ: Brace yourselves. There's a storm coming.
(Jack polishes off his beer and breaks the bottle against the bar. Spin grabs his crowbar, and they look at the door expectantly...)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:31:43 GMT -5
**Fade in**
*We enter in the DEA Suites. Firewoman is happily packing away her gear, Alexander and Alexis are going through some files. There is a knock at the door. Alexis gets up and there are several Finnish men standing at the door.**
Alexis: Excuse me? Can I help you?
Familiar Voice: They are with me.
*The men part to show Eric O'Mac standing at the back of the line.*
Alexander: What is the meaning of this?
Eric: Sit the fuck down. These men are here to help me remove my things from these suites.
Alexander: I wish you would re-consider.
Eric: I wish you would shut the fuck up. Boys, move in.
*The Fin Men move in and go to Eric's part of the Suite. Alexis Darling looks a bit upset, Alexander looks a bit perturbed.*
Alexander: Are you sure you want to do this?
*Eric doesn't repsond. Instead, he goes up to a wall that has an autographed sledgehammer framed. He takes the frame down and gives it to one of the Fin Men.*
Alexander: THAT'S mine. That was a gift.
Eric: I'm taking it back. You can always buy another one.
*More silence. The Fin move eventually move everything out. Eric takes a briefcase that was brought in with him and hands it to Alexis Darling.*
Eric: Enclosed is my contract. Currently ripped to shreds. My shares are yours. If you feel the need to compensate me for them, feel free. If you have the fucking audacity to actually charge me to sell them to you, send me the bill. As for me, I'll be around. But I won't be around you. And I think my career will be best for it.
Alexander: If you actually think you'll be better off without, you are dumber than I thought.
*Eric gets a glazed look in his eyes and he turns to Alex.**
Eric: Let me ask you something, Alex. But I want you to keep your fucking mouth shut when I ask it. Do you know when the best stretch of my career was?
Alex: It's obvious that...
Eric: My God, you never shut up. It's OBVIOUS that it was when I was aligned with Moose and LD Williams. You know what, me and you had a decent run. In our time together, we won two titles, pissed a lot of people, and created a ton of enemies in the process. But see, that is where me you and you differ. You think that if you throw enough money at something, the bridge you burned down will magically be rebuilt. Say what you will about Moose or about LD Williams, but they'll never throw secret clauses in my face. They'll never try to control what the hell I'm doing. They'll never handcuff my ass to the ring to try to talk to me. I know what Moose is, and Moose knows what I'm about. The same with LD Williams. If they had me handcuffed to the ring, they would be the shit out of me. I know that and I accept that because that's who they are.
I'm leading the charge for a change in the OOWF. You say you don't want any part in my war. It's a bad business decision. I'm glad you see it that way. Because this war, as much as you'd like to think it is, it's not about individual glory. It's about taking over. Changing the OOWF for the greater good. We'll sort out all of that other shit after it's over. May the best man win after it's over. But for now, I may hate The Dead, but he's on my side. I may not like Chris Cole, but me and him are leading the cause.
When I was aligned with LD Williams and Moose, I never lost to someone like Bunny. But then again, neither of them are stupid enough to grab my leg and think it's the guy in the bunny suit.
So long Darling. Enjoy your bottom line. Enjoy your Intercontinental Title. But I'm no longer here. I'll no longer support the DEA. I'll no longer try to convince Moose to leave your sister alone. And it's sad too. Because when I look back on last night match and everything that went down, I was the one to check on your sister first. And she's the one that turned on me.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a match against the World Champion to prepare for. And for your sake, I hope I never have to see you on the opposite side of the ring.
*With that, Eric O'Mac marches out.*
Alexis: The way this went down was a very bad business decision.
Alexander: Well excuse me. I didn't think he'd actually leave.
**Fade out**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:32:36 GMT -5
Stank is walking down the hallway with his sandwich. He passes by The Heels, who for some reason are at the arena already instead of vacationing. Must be due to the international schedule.
AA: Good sandwich, Stank?
Stank: Damn good.
AA and JA continue to stare at Stank.
Stank: What?
JA: LJ provides better sandwiches, you know.
Stank: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHNNY!
AA: FFC isn't going to like that, Stank.
Stank: Both of you, just SHUT UP! I'm not choosing sides!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:33:08 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams enters Moosehead Jack’s locker room and sits down.**
LD: “Well, I’ve thought about it.”
MHJ: “And?”
LD: “I’ve been running with you since I ditched Adrenaline. In that time, I can’t remember either one of us being at ringside for the other’s match. It’s never been necessary.”
MHJ: “True. It still isn’t.”
LD: “No, but it might be fun. Here.” <Williams hands Jack a legal-looking document.>
MHJ: “What’s this?”
LD: “A managerial contract – already signed. Put your mark on it and you’re my manager.”
MHJ: “Done.” <Jack signs the contract>
LD: “Now, how are we going to get me that belt?”
**Fade**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:34:14 GMT -5
Still in the DEA suites. Firewoman is finally packed. Alexis is moping, as usual. Alexander is now the one giving the silent treatment
FW: Okay, I think that’s everything. See you guys in a couple of months I guess.
Alexis: Yeah.
AD: ….
FW: What?
AD: Thanks for putting the team first, Fire.
FW: You’re kidding right? The team that is never in my corner during matches? The team that won’t let me come down during their matches? You’ve alienated yet another ally? Look, you aren’t the only one who has a past sneaking up on them, and you’ve been too preoccupied to even have any ideas. At least I’m trying, and I was trying to get Alexis too…. You haven’t even made an attempt to do anything, except smash wine bottles and beat up defenseless bell boys. Brilliant plan.
Alexis: Guys, please….
AD: Just go.
Firewoman opens the door to leave, but when she does she’s met with an OOWF production assistant.
PA: Uh… Ms. Woman?
FW: Just Firewoman is fine. Is it time to go to the airport?
PA: No ma’am. Good news. Mr. Bennett has revoked your suspension.
AD, Alexis, FW: WHAT? in unison.
The production assistant hands Firewoman a letter. She reads it out loud.
AD: Well, guess you have to stay here and face the music with the rest of us.
FW: Fuck off.
Firewoman throws down her bags and storms out.
The door slams, and Firewoman leans her back against the wall, thinking. She is surprised then by one LJ Bennett.
LJB: Fire? LJ Bennett, don’t think we’ve been formerly introduced.
He extends his hand in greeting. Fire looks down at it, and then looks back up at Bennett. He awkwardly withdraws his hand.
LBJ: Well, I hope my assistant has delivered my letter. Sorry about the fine, but there do need to be sanctions.
FW: Yeah, whatever. I’ll just have DEA pay it.
LBJ: Good, good. Look, I know the letter is formal and stuffy, but I just wanted to let you know personally that we are very invested in you having a successful tour with us.
FW: Okay.
LBJ: We’re really looking forward to your return to the Far East, and we’re willing to do anything to see to it that it is a successful event for you. He leans it a bit closer And I do mean anything. So just think about that.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:34:56 GMT -5
Inside the DESTROYITARIUM...
D.H. Magnusson: ....what I'm sayin' is that it was 13 men beatin' down one guy like a dog in th' middle of goddamned street! I don't give a crap who it is, somethin' like happens you gotta do somethin' about it.
Stank: Look Maggs, I know where you're coming from. I know pissed-
DHM: Piss ain't the word for it! It's a pile of bullshit! I know you said that you wanted us to walk the line on this, but it's breaking down. Somethin's gotta be done.
St: I'm working on it. I've been talking with -
DHM: This way past talkin' bro. Talk's done come and gone. I don't care what you think about Rick, or Bennett, or anyone else...It's what they did, not who they did it to. You wanna pretend that it don't matter? I can't. I lo -
St: SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR GODDAMNED MOUTH FOR ABOUT THREE SECONDS AND LET ME SPEAK!
The entire Destroyitarium falls quiet. Somewhere, a bass player dies.
St: That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble, D.H.. I know your pissed off and I know why. That's getting you a pass this time - but you damned sure better remember where you are. We want to get involved on this, we're doing it on OUR terms. Does what they did bother me? Hell yes, it does. But are we going to go into this -if we go into it at all- by someone elses rules? We aren't that stupid. Don't prove me wrong on that.
DHM: Look Stank, I -
St: I'm not finished. The Midnight Sons have the Heels this week. You want to vent a little frustration, you do it in the ring. But I'm telling you now, a win over them will hurt them more than any beating you and Spin give them. Keep that in mind when you go out there. Until then, be cool. Now....Are we good?
DHM: ...Yeah. Sure.
St: We all have pretty full plates here, Maggs. No need to heap on more unless we have room for it.
DHM: Yeah, I got it.
St: Good. Now beat the Heels this week.
DHM leaves, grabbing his logging chain off of the coatrack as he does. Just outside the door, he runs into Spin Hansen.
SH: Hey, partner. Where-
DHM: We got the Heels. We're takin' 'em out. Hard. You cool with that?
SH: You gotta ask?
DHM: You're a good guy, Spin. I'll be working the heavy bag, you need me.
DHM stalks off, wrapping the chain around the length of his left arm
SH: And they tell me that *I* have anger issues?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:35:19 GMT -5
Fade in to Damon knocking on Seamus’ hotel door, and a very bleary eyed hung over Seamus opens the door Seamus: “What?” Damon: “Hey man, wake up we gotta get packed…we are off to Finland” Seamus: “Ahhhh where?” Damon pushes past Seamus into the room and looks at some woman asleep on the bed Damon: “Who that?” Seamus: “Who that? Have you been hanging out with bunny or rabbxt or whatever the fuck his name is?” Damon: “Nooooooooo, I’m not into furbies…” Seamus: “Her name is Emilíana, I met her at a restaurant, she sings and stuff…” Damon: “Stuff?” Seamus: “What the fuck, you want pictures?” Damon: “You got some?” Seamus: “You’re twisted…anyway where are we going?” Damon:” Khtragnshty Finland…or some shit can I buy a fucking vowel?” Seamus: “Did you shave?” Damon: “Yeah?  ” Seamus: “By Thor’s beard be careful…you could be suspended?” Damon: “What?” Seamus: “Never-mind” Damon: “We are wrestling IHOP again…” Seamus: “Speaking of IHOP let’s grab some breakfast” Damon: “Yeah, pancakes and pain” Seamus: “What?” Damon: “Never-mind” Seamus: “Let me brush my teeth and say goodbye?” Damon sits down to wait and sees a bunch of Polaroids on the table…picking them up he begins looking at them…one he turns upside down and then sideways…and shakes his head as he throws them back down on the table Damon (to himself): “And he calls me twisted” The woman on the bed begins to stir and sits up looking puzzled and concerned as she stares at Damon Damon: “Good morning Sunshine” fade to black |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:36:06 GMT -5
*LJ Bennett is meeting with Chris Cole, who is flanked by Harper Camby. Off to the side, Moosehead Jack is watching TV with his feet up on a table.
Outback Jack bursts through the door, followed by Wally B. King, who is smoking a large cigar.*
LJB: What do you think you're doing! First of all, I'm in a meeting! And this is a smoke-free office!
WBK: Not even for your favorite Cubans?
*Wally tosses Bennett a large cigar.*
LJB: But, these are impossible to get anymore...
WBK: Anything is possible, mate. Like, perhaps we could have just a few minutes of your time.
LJB: Well, perhaps we could discuss some business.
OBJ: But not in front of the Minor Enema and his pet ape!
*Cole and Camby stand up and posture. MHJ looks slightly amused.*
LJB: Chris, I think perhaps I do need to take this meeting, as impromptu as it may be. I'll address your concerns as soon as possible.
*Cole and Camby stomp out. Camby bristles as OBJ whispers "Pinned him 1,2,3" to Wally*
LJB: So, I'm guessing that you've been thinking about my remarks.
OBJ: Exactly. Wally said that what you said was a threat.
LJB: My good man, I don't make threats. That was a promise.
OBJ: Alright! Pay up, Wally!
WBK: No way, mate!
LJB: What are you two talking about?
OBJ: Well, I didn't actually pay much attention to what you said - sorry, mate - but I bet Wally that you weren't stupid enough to threaten Drink and Destroy. So now he owes me!
MHJ (Still looking bored): Wally wins the bet.
OBJ: Really?
MHJ: Yeah.
*OBJ picks up a chair and throws it against a wall, smashing the chair into splinters. MHJ continues to relax with his feet up, bit LJB looks very nervous, glancing at Moose anxiously*
LJB: Well, of course, I do understand that no one likes being threatened... *looks at MHJ for support*
OBJ: Oh, I don't mind being threatened, I'm pissed about losing a bet with Wally. But I like being threatened. I should say that Outback Jack likes being threatened, but Jack of the Hinterlands loves it. Japan can't come soon enough.
LJB: Well, you can take out your frustrations on Ecosystem.
OBJ: I plan on pinning him clean. After that, I'll do what I want to do. Don't think that Harper Camby, the Barry Bonds of the OOWF can stop me.
LJB: Well, what about Moosehead Jack? *MHJ continues to look bored* What about all the other stars aligned with me?
OBJ: Book us in a Taipei fence match and you might get my attention. Meanwhile, don't piss me off!
*Jeff Jarrett comes in to protest his catch-phrase being stolen, buy OBJ kills him with a CHOMP!*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:36:30 GMT -5
Firewoman is in her locker room, after some lifting, cardio, heavy bag working.. you know, a light day. There is a knock on the door.
FW: Come in, Lucky.
L: How did you know it was me?
FW: Only three other people are allowed in here, and I know where two of them are. No one else is dumb enough to even attempt to knock.
L: Oh… Do I hear water running?
FW: It’s the shower.
L: Should you turn it off?
FW: That would be pretty rude, wouldn’t it?
L: Um… I guess? Anyway, I’m actually… well, don’t kill the messenger, okay.
FW: You’re making even less sense than usual. Just tell me what…
Alexander Darling tentatively steps in to the door way
AD: I asked him to go in before me to gauge your mood.
FW: Out.
AD: Wait, I need to tell you … you were right.
FW: Okay, you’ve gotten my attention. Lucky, go see if Sven has my towels ready.
L: Sven?
FW: From Iceland. He’s always wanted to go to Finland. Leave the door open though.
Lucky leaves.
AD: You want me to say it again?
FW: Yes. Please [She sits down on the sofa, and appears to be enjoying herself]
AD: You were right. We aren’t acting as a single team. I’ve been blaming you, but I’ve been so distracted by… well, you know… that I’ve not been holding up my end of the bargain.
FW: Uh-huh.
AD: I’ve even been ignoring Alexis.
FW: I’ve been taking care of her.
AD: I know. Thanks for trying.
FW: Are you like… on something? Off something?
AD: No. But the infighting really has to stop. I’d been sending Alexis out with you to show you and everyone that we are united, but it is apparently not enough.
FW: Well, yeah, she’s kind of useless unless she has a chair in her hand. If you want, I can work with her…
AD: No, that’s not what I’m proposing. If you want me to, I’ll come down during your Onslaught Championship match. … Is that water running?
FW: Yes. If you want to be ringside, that’s fine, but I don’t need you.
AD: Shouldn’t you turn that off? Doesn’t that hurt mother Earth or something?
FW: [ignoring him] Look, The Dead and I had a deal last time, and I’m going to agree to it this time, if he’s still interested. Bunny is losing the title, that much is clear. Now whether it’s being lost to me or The Dead is going to be the real battle.
AD: You’ve forgotten the fourth person.
FW: Yeah, I looked for tape on him, but it’s apparently locked in Rick’s vault or something. No matter, Dead and I will work together against Beast and Bunny. But the winning pin? That’ll be between the Dead and I.
Darling looks at his shoes. An awkward moment passes between the two. The sound of the shower has stopped.
FW: If you want to be there, I won’t complain.
AD: Okay. About my match?
FW: There if you need me. Why do I think this is the real reason you came here?
AD: Because we have trust issues?
Another awkward silence
AD: I also wanted to borrow the tape of... well, our tag team match against MacCappington and Ecosystem.
Firewoman loses her smile at the memory of what almost transpired there, but doesn't react and just reaches to her stack of tapes. She tosses it somewhat hard in his direction, so it hits him in the chest, corner first.
FW: Oops.
AD: Uh huh. Can I ask you something?
FW: Sure.
AD: Who’s in the shower?
FW: [Leans forward and smiles like a Cheshire cat] Do you really want to know, Alex? I’ll tell you everything.
AD: Oh god, no. Never mind. See you later.
Alexander leaves, and Firewoman reclines a bit on the couch, deep in thought. A voice calls out from the shower area.
Is he gone?
Alexis Darling peeks around the corner, wrapped in a towel.
FW: Yeah, he’s gone. Don’t worry, he doesn’t suspect anything. I didn’t tell him you were here or what we’ve been doing.
Alexis: Good. He so wouldn’t understand.
FW: Probably not. Here, you can use my robe. I hope you saved me some hot water.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 17:37:35 GMT -5
moments ago:
*lucky is walking, looking for sven. having not gone 20 feet from firewoman's locker room, a sack is suddenly thrown over lucky and he is scooped up. we see it's the beast holding the sack.*
Lucky (From Inside the Sack): what the hell...?
The Beast: nothin personal buddy, but my return to the OOWF is puttering out. i attack bunny and get nothing. i attack the dead and get nothing. i need a fucking reaction already. if firewoman's valet getting kidnapped doesn't get some sort of reaction from her, i really don't know what more i can do. you're just collateral damage, bud.
L(FItS): well, you can bet i'll be typing 15 paragraphs about this when i get out.
B: whatever dude. if this ends with a lucky on a pole match, it'll all be worth it. BWA-HA-HA-HA!
*beast, with sacked lucky over his shoulder, runs away laughing.*
*fade out*
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