Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 19, 2008 16:46:38 GMT -5
(We cut to a cold open in the backstage area. The Establishment is huddled around a desk with a single sheet on it.)
Ecosystem: Look at it, people. It's our win-loss records. On the side are the Ministry's. Pretty pathetic, no? So tonight, I have set up the matches in a way that none of us will have any excuse for losing. If one of us does, that person will be fired on the spot. Agreed?
Moosehead Jack: Agreed.
Grunt: Agreed.
(LI raises his hand.)
LI: Sir, your connections are the only reason I can stay out of the Japanese pueresao scene. How can you ensure that you will not lose against Blade one-on-one, when he has Ayaka by his side? That seems to be more stacked against you.
Eco: Believe me, I am not too concerned. Morte?
Maximo Morte: Sir...you told me before I had a special mission tonight. Should I accomplish that mission, yet lose my match in the process of doing so-
Eco: Your duty will be done, and you will remain gainfully employed. So gentlemen...we are set.
PA: BANG BANG BANG BOOM!
("I Came To Bring The Pain" by Lil Flip plays over the PA system as the fireworks go off.)
JP: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are LIVE in Waterproof, Louisiana! Welcome to OOWF's "Power, Money, and LSD"! Brought to you by Carfax.com!
Razz: And you see that cage above the ring? It would be smart if we used it as a teaser for matches later in the show, huh? But we can't think that far ahead, so we're starting our cage match right now!
Semaj Bondutahjaranishta/"Concrete" Takaken Gryfon vs. Moosehead Jack/Johnny Adrenaline
Steel Cage Opener Match
Semaj starts off against Moosehead, and Takaken stars off against Johnny. Blows are exchanged on both sides, with TG getting the upper hand on JA with a series of armdrags. Semaj gets worked over in the corner by Jack, but Gryfon comes to the rescue with
an off-the-ropes ensiguri to Jack. SB comes off the ropes and legdrops MJ. He goes for the pinfall.
Razz: He forgot that in the OOWF, there are no pinfalls in cage matches! Because otherwise the cage is just a retar...um....mentally challenged structure.
JP: Way to try the political correctness!
Razz: Hey, you did pin me.
JA low-blows TG and goes for the pinfall. He wasn't paying attention either. Takaken turns it into a cross-armbreaker on Johnny. Semaj attempts a Live and let Die, but MJ pulls out his legs and locks in a Boston Crab. Takaken releases his hold and attacks
Jack, but Jack, Being Nimble, and Jack, Being Quick, hops over the turnbuckle stick, causing Gryfon to "Rochambeau" his own partner, for lack of a better word. Moosehead begins to climb the cage, and Takaken gives chase. Semaj begins to climb slowly as
well, but Johnny keeps him down. Suddenly, MJ throws CTG over the cage.
JP: CTG has escaped, with a little surprising help!
Razz: But look! Semaj is alone!
Moosehead Jack comes off the top rope with a lariat to Semaj B. Johnny sets SB up for a reverse Adrenaline Rush, and MJ goes to the top. They deliver a simulataneous reverse Adrenaline Rush/Heart Punch, putting Semaj DOWN. Moosehead begins to escape ove
the top as Johnny kicks Semaj's lifeless body.
JP: Wait! Look at Takaken!
Takaken climbs to the top from the outside, and piledrives Moosehead Jack 10 feet down to the PROTECTIVE MATS OF DEATH~! Gryfon then climbs the top again, pushing a scurrying Johnny back in. Gryfon comes off with a splash, followed by a Scaffold. Johnny is tapping out, but you can't lose by sumbmission. Gryfon whips Johnny to the ropes following a couple right hands, but Johnny climbs up the ropes and over the cage for a quick and cheap victory.
Winners: Johnny Adrenaline and Moosehead Jack in 5:02
JP: Wow! A steel cage main event opener! And Moosehead Jack kept his job! I'm assuming we're going to loser the match level for a bit...
Razz: Next up is Dragons vs. Hellion and Corax-Steel Cage First Blood Tag Title Match!
JP: D'oh.
Dragons vs. Hellion and Corax-Steel Cage First Blood Tag Title Match
The match begins furiously, with fists, kicks, and jumpy rope thingys all around! Soul Dragon misses a jumpy rope thingy and gets pounded by Hellion and Corax. But then Black Dragon knocks them both down with a lariat, and the momentum shifts. The two Dragons lock their opponents in double Figure-Fours. DADGUMIT~! NO FREAKING SUBMISSIONS~! Hellion and Corax use arm strength to reverse the pressure. Serves them right. The Dragons break the holds, and go for the Father/Son Top Rope Onto Hapless Opponents
Who Just Stand There Move, which is like the To Be Edited In Later, but not. Needless to say, Hellion and Corax go down, and it's time for some posing by the Dragons. The crowd suddenly remembers that the Dragons are heels, and they throw popcorn. The popcorn hits the cage however, and falls down into the front row. The front row fans never went hungry again. And thus all was well in the land of Fandom, until an evil Wyvernhydrasyrengorgon.....
Oh yeah, match thingy. Back in the real world, Brad "The Biscuit" Wyvernhydrasyrengorgon comes out and starts shaking on the cage. This is an excuse for Black Dragon to pull him by his tie into the cage for a cheap pop. Who cares who the bad guy is, a FAT
MAN got beat up! HAR! Anyway....the Dragons get attacked from behind while laughing, and Black Dragon EATS a Hell's Fury. Huh. Sucks for him. Hellion climbs over the cage for some reason, while Corax locks Soul Dragon in a Trickster's Trap to wear him out. Black Dragon gets up and kicks Corax off, however. Corax is getting beaten down in the corner by Black Dragon and Soul Dragon, but then Hellion comes in with a BOARD WITH A NAIL IN IT~! He aims for BD, but Soul blocks and gets hit with the wooden end
Hellion swings the board wildly, but Black ducks and the board gets caught in the mesh, ripping a hole through. Corax trips up Black Dragon, who pulls Hellion down with him into the mesh. hellion's face is torn at by the open mesh, and he begins to bleed.
The referee calls for the bell.
Winners And New Tag Team Champions: Black Dragon and Soul Dragon in 10:24
GatorBait and Outback Jack come out and make the international sign for "We want the belts" as the Dragons leave. Hellion and Corax rise, and there's a THREE. WAY. STAREDOWN. Smell the tension!
JP: Well, we need to move out the cage and get everyone out different entrances. It's time for a commercial!
Scott Ultra: Less is NOT more, all right? NO ONE uses one sheet of toilet paper to wipe themselves, okay? Unless you're a guy living alone and you're almost out of toilet paper, you DO not use one sheet! SCREW CHARMIN!
Razz: Well, that was fun. Look! Blade and Ayaka are in the ring!
PA: ESTABLISH POWER. ESTABLISH DOMINANCE. ESTABLISH MENT.
Ecosystem comes out with a full-fledged suit and....TAMIKA?
Razz: Tamika? I thought we fired her!
JP: Well Razz, Tamika and Ecosystem did both go to Malcolm X High.
Ecosystem vs. Blade
Ecosystem takes off his suit to reveal his "Spoiler-Revolutionaries Always Spoil Corrupt Systems Of Government" Ralph Nader shirt. (Buy it NOW on www.votenader.org !) Blade wastes no time in attacking, essentially kicking the crap out of Ecosystem for 3
seconds. Then he whips Eco into the ropes, and Eco comes off with a Lou Thesz-Bodyscissors-Flip-Pinfall-Blade kickout-Blade lift up-Eco Spinning DDT. Eco shakes his dizziness, and gets a two-count off an attempted pinfall. Eco whips Blade into the turbuckle, but Blade leapfrogs him as he charges and goes into the referee. The referee goes down, and Ayaka swings the bat into Eco's head, sending him down. Tamika however, pulls out a TAZER, and ZAPS Ayaka. Blade grabs the Tazer from her, just as the referee
gets up. The referee sees Eco down, Blade holding the Tazer, construes things a certain way, and rings the bell.
Winner: Ecosystem in 1:15
Eco and Tamika hightail it. Blade looks to give pursuit, but then stops and goes to Ayaka. The crowd is legitimately moved by this, you know, human emotion thingy, and begins to cheer Blade.
JP: Blade, fan favorite? Is this possible?
Razz: No, it's not. He faced Ecosystem, his girl got tazered, and the fans need to react in some way. Not their fault.
JP: Good point. Wow, that was short. Look, another match!
L.D. Williams vs. Donnie Viper
Back and forth to start, Donnie gains control with an armbar. L.D. flips with an armdrag into a crossarmbar. Rop break, Donnie ducks lariat, dropkick to LDW. Quick cover, one-count. Donnie goes to snap suplex. One, Two, stopped by gut punches before Hat
Trick, reversed by LD into brainbuster on Donnie. Pin cover, 1,2, kickout. Donnie tries to float over into Dangerlock, reversed. LD pulls leg out for an STF. Donnie is flailing , but uses free arm to gouge at LD's eyes, forcing the break.
JP: Why do our so-called "low-carders" always put on the best matches?
Razz: Dang, you pointed it out to the smarks! Now LD is going to be champion in a couple weeks, and it's all your fault!
sMARK: Did somebody say SMARK?
JP: Who's that? Is that the new guy?
sMARK runs in and begins to throw floppy disks. One catches the referee in the head.
sMARK: SELL IT, YOU FOOL!
The referee goes down, again. LD and DV team up for a double lariat, but sMARK just drops to teh floor, no-selling. They double baseball kick, he sidesteps.
sMARK: No one can stop the sMARK! You no-talent hacks, I could take any of you in a real fight! I don't know why you're still hired, it might be smart to flesh out the roster. Bring in some of the independent workers-
A low blow by L.D. Williams stops the rant. The less you use your penis, the more tender it's going to be, kid. Donnie shows his appreciation by bulldogging LD into the steel steps. LD gets a HUGE shock, as apparantly the tazer was placed back under the steps
and the shock went through the metal. Whoopsie. Donnie rolls back in as the referee gets up. Donnie gets an easy 10-count to win the match.
Winner: "Dangerous" Donnie Viper in 7:57
The sMARK comes in and jumps on Donnie, girlie slapping him. The sMARk runs through the audience to escape once Donnie decides to sit up.
JP: Wow! The sMARK has made an impact here tonight, who knows-
Razz: JP...don't try.
JP: Yeah, screw it. What's next?
Grunt/LI vs. Beast
The Beast starts by throwing himself against Grunt, and he bounces off. Beast tries it again a couple times, and eventually Grunt just falls to one knee to be nice. LI throws a couple punches at The Beast, and The Beast takes them until he thinks "Hey! I can fight back!" So The Beast takes LI off his feet with one punch, and goes up top. Grunt plucks him off however, and throws him to the floor. The Beast gets back in quickly, so as not to be counted out, and is met with a clubbing blow by Grunt. Grunt
holds him straight, while LI nails The Beast with a K.O.-thesline. Ouchie. LI begins to smirk, and follows up with an Angel's Wings Full Nelson Driver, followed by a cover. He pulls The Beast's shoulder up at two, at which point The Beast begins to fight
back. LI stifles him with a knee to the gut, and comes off the ropes with a Shining Wizard. Grunt Body Splashes the fallen Beast, but LI prevents him from covering. Instead, LI goes up top while Grunt hoists Beast up, and they deliver teh 8-Foot-Powerbomb/K.O.-thesline combo., heretofore abbreviated as The Big Ouchie. The Big Ouchie is completed, and Grunt goes for the successful cover.
Winners:: Grunt and LI in 3:09
JP: Wow. That was a massacre. So much for any Establishment members losing their job.
Razz: Wait! Maximo Morte still has to carry out his Secret Mission!
JP: What is his Secret Mission?
Razz: I don't know.
Gimmickman vs. Brad "The Biscuit" Wyvernhyrdasyrengorgon vs. Underdawg vs. Hardbody Harris vs. Canadian Dragon vs. EricOMac vs. Maximo Morte-Battle Royale With A Bunch of Prizes.
Brad is bleeding from before, and decides to sit in a corner, where no one will attempt to lift the fat, greasy, bloody man. Good call. The ensuing battle royale is a melee that eventually pairs off- Gimmickman vs. EricOMac, Canadian Dragon vs. Maximo Morte, UnderDawg vs. Hardbody Harris. UD and HH brawl, spilling out through the ropes, but not over. MM gets the best of Canadian Dragon, backing him into a corner. Canadian Dragon kicks Maximo in the gut and backs him out. Eric trips Gimmickman and holds
Maximo, but as Canadian goes up for a Dragonsault, Eric runs and pushes him off.
Canadian Dragon-Eliminated.
Canadian spews obcenities at his traitorous partner, who just shrugs. Eric is quickly snatched by Gimmickman and Spartan-Plunged over for the elimination, however.
Eric O'Mac-Eliminated Canadian Dragon jumps Eric O Mac, but the two are seperated. Gimmickman calls out to the eliminated team, and Maximo pushes him into The Biscuit. Brad decides to take this opportunity to flip Gimmickman over, eliminating him.
GimmickMan-Eliminated
Maximo stops Brad's rally before it begins with a gut kick and a MiniMorte. Hardbody and UnderDawg comes back in the ring, and UnderDawg whips Hardbody into Maximo, who sidesteps causing Hardbody to trip over Brad. Hardbody dodges a splash by UnderDawg
which lands squarely on Brad. Brad spins around with a DDT to UnderDawg, assuming that he is Maximo Morte. He jumps back when he realizes his mistake, and is summararily disposed of by a running Morte lariat.
Brad "The Biscuit" Wyvernhydrasyrengorgon-Eliminated.
Hardbody and Maximo Morte have a quick staredown. Morte moves forward to Hardbody, and there is a quick murmur among the crowd. Maximo is the first to move, stomping away on a fallen UnderDawg. UnderDawg pulls him for a Tazzmission, and tries to flip him
with an exploder suplex. Maximo grabs onto the ropes however, and pulls them down far enough for Hardbody to just push UnderDawg over.
UnderDawg-Eliminated.
Maximo Morte bounds in the ring with a huge grin on his face. He extends his hand to Hardbody Harris, who accpets and shakes. To his surprise, Maximo releases without incident, and jumps the ropes to land on UnderDawg.
Maximo Morte-Battle Royale Champion
Winner: Hardbody Harris-#1 Contender
The entire Establishment comes out swarming the ring. Grunt, LI, Ecosystem, Moosehead Jack, Tamika, and Maximo Morte enter, staring down Hardbody. Hardbody prepares for a fight, but they advance with smiles, Grunt lifting him over his shoulders. Ecosystem grabs a mike.
Ecosystem: Ladies and gentlemen....this is the man! The man who has denied UnderDawg the title shot he will now NEVER recieve, and the man who will liberate the title from Microplay, who denied me my rightful tournament place! This man will be....YOUR CHAMPION!
JP: Well, this is most unexpected.
The audience is confused as to how to react, and so is Hardbody Harris. he leaps off Grunt's shoulders and calls to UnderDawg, who just looks at him disapprovingly. The Establishment members go to Hardbody, who uses quite colorful language directed at them. The audience roars their approval,and Hardbody leaves.
Razz: The #1 Face is apparantly quite adversed to being the Corporate Champion!
JP: Clear the room! We have an exhibition match!
Ecosystem: Look at it, people. It's our win-loss records. On the side are the Ministry's. Pretty pathetic, no? So tonight, I have set up the matches in a way that none of us will have any excuse for losing. If one of us does, that person will be fired on the spot. Agreed?
Moosehead Jack: Agreed.
Grunt: Agreed.
(LI raises his hand.)
LI: Sir, your connections are the only reason I can stay out of the Japanese pueresao scene. How can you ensure that you will not lose against Blade one-on-one, when he has Ayaka by his side? That seems to be more stacked against you.
Eco: Believe me, I am not too concerned. Morte?
Maximo Morte: Sir...you told me before I had a special mission tonight. Should I accomplish that mission, yet lose my match in the process of doing so-
Eco: Your duty will be done, and you will remain gainfully employed. So gentlemen...we are set.
PA: BANG BANG BANG BOOM!
("I Came To Bring The Pain" by Lil Flip plays over the PA system as the fireworks go off.)
JP: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are LIVE in Waterproof, Louisiana! Welcome to OOWF's "Power, Money, and LSD"! Brought to you by Carfax.com!
Razz: And you see that cage above the ring? It would be smart if we used it as a teaser for matches later in the show, huh? But we can't think that far ahead, so we're starting our cage match right now!
Semaj Bondutahjaranishta/"Concrete" Takaken Gryfon vs. Moosehead Jack/Johnny Adrenaline
Steel Cage Opener Match
Semaj starts off against Moosehead, and Takaken stars off against Johnny. Blows are exchanged on both sides, with TG getting the upper hand on JA with a series of armdrags. Semaj gets worked over in the corner by Jack, but Gryfon comes to the rescue with
an off-the-ropes ensiguri to Jack. SB comes off the ropes and legdrops MJ. He goes for the pinfall.
Razz: He forgot that in the OOWF, there are no pinfalls in cage matches! Because otherwise the cage is just a retar...um....mentally challenged structure.
JP: Way to try the political correctness!
Razz: Hey, you did pin me.
JA low-blows TG and goes for the pinfall. He wasn't paying attention either. Takaken turns it into a cross-armbreaker on Johnny. Semaj attempts a Live and let Die, but MJ pulls out his legs and locks in a Boston Crab. Takaken releases his hold and attacks
Jack, but Jack, Being Nimble, and Jack, Being Quick, hops over the turnbuckle stick, causing Gryfon to "Rochambeau" his own partner, for lack of a better word. Moosehead begins to climb the cage, and Takaken gives chase. Semaj begins to climb slowly as
well, but Johnny keeps him down. Suddenly, MJ throws CTG over the cage.
JP: CTG has escaped, with a little surprising help!
Razz: But look! Semaj is alone!
Moosehead Jack comes off the top rope with a lariat to Semaj B. Johnny sets SB up for a reverse Adrenaline Rush, and MJ goes to the top. They deliver a simulataneous reverse Adrenaline Rush/Heart Punch, putting Semaj DOWN. Moosehead begins to escape ove
the top as Johnny kicks Semaj's lifeless body.
JP: Wait! Look at Takaken!
Takaken climbs to the top from the outside, and piledrives Moosehead Jack 10 feet down to the PROTECTIVE MATS OF DEATH~! Gryfon then climbs the top again, pushing a scurrying Johnny back in. Gryfon comes off with a splash, followed by a Scaffold. Johnny is tapping out, but you can't lose by sumbmission. Gryfon whips Johnny to the ropes following a couple right hands, but Johnny climbs up the ropes and over the cage for a quick and cheap victory.
Winners: Johnny Adrenaline and Moosehead Jack in 5:02
JP: Wow! A steel cage main event opener! And Moosehead Jack kept his job! I'm assuming we're going to loser the match level for a bit...
Razz: Next up is Dragons vs. Hellion and Corax-Steel Cage First Blood Tag Title Match!
JP: D'oh.
Dragons vs. Hellion and Corax-Steel Cage First Blood Tag Title Match
The match begins furiously, with fists, kicks, and jumpy rope thingys all around! Soul Dragon misses a jumpy rope thingy and gets pounded by Hellion and Corax. But then Black Dragon knocks them both down with a lariat, and the momentum shifts. The two Dragons lock their opponents in double Figure-Fours. DADGUMIT~! NO FREAKING SUBMISSIONS~! Hellion and Corax use arm strength to reverse the pressure. Serves them right. The Dragons break the holds, and go for the Father/Son Top Rope Onto Hapless Opponents
Who Just Stand There Move, which is like the To Be Edited In Later, but not. Needless to say, Hellion and Corax go down, and it's time for some posing by the Dragons. The crowd suddenly remembers that the Dragons are heels, and they throw popcorn. The popcorn hits the cage however, and falls down into the front row. The front row fans never went hungry again. And thus all was well in the land of Fandom, until an evil Wyvernhydrasyrengorgon.....
Oh yeah, match thingy. Back in the real world, Brad "The Biscuit" Wyvernhydrasyrengorgon comes out and starts shaking on the cage. This is an excuse for Black Dragon to pull him by his tie into the cage for a cheap pop. Who cares who the bad guy is, a FAT
MAN got beat up! HAR! Anyway....the Dragons get attacked from behind while laughing, and Black Dragon EATS a Hell's Fury. Huh. Sucks for him. Hellion climbs over the cage for some reason, while Corax locks Soul Dragon in a Trickster's Trap to wear him out. Black Dragon gets up and kicks Corax off, however. Corax is getting beaten down in the corner by Black Dragon and Soul Dragon, but then Hellion comes in with a BOARD WITH A NAIL IN IT~! He aims for BD, but Soul blocks and gets hit with the wooden end
Hellion swings the board wildly, but Black ducks and the board gets caught in the mesh, ripping a hole through. Corax trips up Black Dragon, who pulls Hellion down with him into the mesh. hellion's face is torn at by the open mesh, and he begins to bleed.
The referee calls for the bell.
Winners And New Tag Team Champions: Black Dragon and Soul Dragon in 10:24
GatorBait and Outback Jack come out and make the international sign for "We want the belts" as the Dragons leave. Hellion and Corax rise, and there's a THREE. WAY. STAREDOWN. Smell the tension!
JP: Well, we need to move out the cage and get everyone out different entrances. It's time for a commercial!
Scott Ultra: Less is NOT more, all right? NO ONE uses one sheet of toilet paper to wipe themselves, okay? Unless you're a guy living alone and you're almost out of toilet paper, you DO not use one sheet! SCREW CHARMIN!
Razz: Well, that was fun. Look! Blade and Ayaka are in the ring!
PA: ESTABLISH POWER. ESTABLISH DOMINANCE. ESTABLISH MENT.
Ecosystem comes out with a full-fledged suit and....TAMIKA?
Razz: Tamika? I thought we fired her!
JP: Well Razz, Tamika and Ecosystem did both go to Malcolm X High.
Ecosystem vs. Blade
Ecosystem takes off his suit to reveal his "Spoiler-Revolutionaries Always Spoil Corrupt Systems Of Government" Ralph Nader shirt. (Buy it NOW on www.votenader.org !) Blade wastes no time in attacking, essentially kicking the crap out of Ecosystem for 3
seconds. Then he whips Eco into the ropes, and Eco comes off with a Lou Thesz-Bodyscissors-Flip-Pinfall-Blade kickout-Blade lift up-Eco Spinning DDT. Eco shakes his dizziness, and gets a two-count off an attempted pinfall. Eco whips Blade into the turbuckle, but Blade leapfrogs him as he charges and goes into the referee. The referee goes down, and Ayaka swings the bat into Eco's head, sending him down. Tamika however, pulls out a TAZER, and ZAPS Ayaka. Blade grabs the Tazer from her, just as the referee
gets up. The referee sees Eco down, Blade holding the Tazer, construes things a certain way, and rings the bell.
Winner: Ecosystem in 1:15
Eco and Tamika hightail it. Blade looks to give pursuit, but then stops and goes to Ayaka. The crowd is legitimately moved by this, you know, human emotion thingy, and begins to cheer Blade.
JP: Blade, fan favorite? Is this possible?
Razz: No, it's not. He faced Ecosystem, his girl got tazered, and the fans need to react in some way. Not their fault.
JP: Good point. Wow, that was short. Look, another match!
L.D. Williams vs. Donnie Viper
Back and forth to start, Donnie gains control with an armbar. L.D. flips with an armdrag into a crossarmbar. Rop break, Donnie ducks lariat, dropkick to LDW. Quick cover, one-count. Donnie goes to snap suplex. One, Two, stopped by gut punches before Hat
Trick, reversed by LD into brainbuster on Donnie. Pin cover, 1,2, kickout. Donnie tries to float over into Dangerlock, reversed. LD pulls leg out for an STF. Donnie is flailing , but uses free arm to gouge at LD's eyes, forcing the break.
JP: Why do our so-called "low-carders" always put on the best matches?
Razz: Dang, you pointed it out to the smarks! Now LD is going to be champion in a couple weeks, and it's all your fault!
sMARK: Did somebody say SMARK?
JP: Who's that? Is that the new guy?
sMARK runs in and begins to throw floppy disks. One catches the referee in the head.
sMARK: SELL IT, YOU FOOL!
The referee goes down, again. LD and DV team up for a double lariat, but sMARK just drops to teh floor, no-selling. They double baseball kick, he sidesteps.
sMARK: No one can stop the sMARK! You no-talent hacks, I could take any of you in a real fight! I don't know why you're still hired, it might be smart to flesh out the roster. Bring in some of the independent workers-
A low blow by L.D. Williams stops the rant. The less you use your penis, the more tender it's going to be, kid. Donnie shows his appreciation by bulldogging LD into the steel steps. LD gets a HUGE shock, as apparantly the tazer was placed back under the steps
and the shock went through the metal. Whoopsie. Donnie rolls back in as the referee gets up. Donnie gets an easy 10-count to win the match.
Winner: "Dangerous" Donnie Viper in 7:57
The sMARK comes in and jumps on Donnie, girlie slapping him. The sMARk runs through the audience to escape once Donnie decides to sit up.
JP: Wow! The sMARK has made an impact here tonight, who knows-
Razz: JP...don't try.
JP: Yeah, screw it. What's next?
Grunt/LI vs. Beast
The Beast starts by throwing himself against Grunt, and he bounces off. Beast tries it again a couple times, and eventually Grunt just falls to one knee to be nice. LI throws a couple punches at The Beast, and The Beast takes them until he thinks "Hey! I can fight back!" So The Beast takes LI off his feet with one punch, and goes up top. Grunt plucks him off however, and throws him to the floor. The Beast gets back in quickly, so as not to be counted out, and is met with a clubbing blow by Grunt. Grunt
holds him straight, while LI nails The Beast with a K.O.-thesline. Ouchie. LI begins to smirk, and follows up with an Angel's Wings Full Nelson Driver, followed by a cover. He pulls The Beast's shoulder up at two, at which point The Beast begins to fight
back. LI stifles him with a knee to the gut, and comes off the ropes with a Shining Wizard. Grunt Body Splashes the fallen Beast, but LI prevents him from covering. Instead, LI goes up top while Grunt hoists Beast up, and they deliver teh 8-Foot-Powerbomb/K.O.-thesline combo., heretofore abbreviated as The Big Ouchie. The Big Ouchie is completed, and Grunt goes for the successful cover.
Winners:: Grunt and LI in 3:09
JP: Wow. That was a massacre. So much for any Establishment members losing their job.
Razz: Wait! Maximo Morte still has to carry out his Secret Mission!
JP: What is his Secret Mission?
Razz: I don't know.
Gimmickman vs. Brad "The Biscuit" Wyvernhyrdasyrengorgon vs. Underdawg vs. Hardbody Harris vs. Canadian Dragon vs. EricOMac vs. Maximo Morte-Battle Royale With A Bunch of Prizes.
Brad is bleeding from before, and decides to sit in a corner, where no one will attempt to lift the fat, greasy, bloody man. Good call. The ensuing battle royale is a melee that eventually pairs off- Gimmickman vs. EricOMac, Canadian Dragon vs. Maximo Morte, UnderDawg vs. Hardbody Harris. UD and HH brawl, spilling out through the ropes, but not over. MM gets the best of Canadian Dragon, backing him into a corner. Canadian Dragon kicks Maximo in the gut and backs him out. Eric trips Gimmickman and holds
Maximo, but as Canadian goes up for a Dragonsault, Eric runs and pushes him off.
Canadian Dragon-Eliminated.
Canadian spews obcenities at his traitorous partner, who just shrugs. Eric is quickly snatched by Gimmickman and Spartan-Plunged over for the elimination, however.
Eric O'Mac-Eliminated Canadian Dragon jumps Eric O Mac, but the two are seperated. Gimmickman calls out to the eliminated team, and Maximo pushes him into The Biscuit. Brad decides to take this opportunity to flip Gimmickman over, eliminating him.
GimmickMan-Eliminated
Maximo stops Brad's rally before it begins with a gut kick and a MiniMorte. Hardbody and UnderDawg comes back in the ring, and UnderDawg whips Hardbody into Maximo, who sidesteps causing Hardbody to trip over Brad. Hardbody dodges a splash by UnderDawg
which lands squarely on Brad. Brad spins around with a DDT to UnderDawg, assuming that he is Maximo Morte. He jumps back when he realizes his mistake, and is summararily disposed of by a running Morte lariat.
Brad "The Biscuit" Wyvernhydrasyrengorgon-Eliminated.
Hardbody and Maximo Morte have a quick staredown. Morte moves forward to Hardbody, and there is a quick murmur among the crowd. Maximo is the first to move, stomping away on a fallen UnderDawg. UnderDawg pulls him for a Tazzmission, and tries to flip him
with an exploder suplex. Maximo grabs onto the ropes however, and pulls them down far enough for Hardbody to just push UnderDawg over.
UnderDawg-Eliminated.
Maximo Morte bounds in the ring with a huge grin on his face. He extends his hand to Hardbody Harris, who accpets and shakes. To his surprise, Maximo releases without incident, and jumps the ropes to land on UnderDawg.
Maximo Morte-Battle Royale Champion
Winner: Hardbody Harris-#1 Contender
The entire Establishment comes out swarming the ring. Grunt, LI, Ecosystem, Moosehead Jack, Tamika, and Maximo Morte enter, staring down Hardbody. Hardbody prepares for a fight, but they advance with smiles, Grunt lifting him over his shoulders. Ecosystem grabs a mike.
Ecosystem: Ladies and gentlemen....this is the man! The man who has denied UnderDawg the title shot he will now NEVER recieve, and the man who will liberate the title from Microplay, who denied me my rightful tournament place! This man will be....YOUR CHAMPION!
JP: Well, this is most unexpected.
The audience is confused as to how to react, and so is Hardbody Harris. he leaps off Grunt's shoulders and calls to UnderDawg, who just looks at him disapprovingly. The Establishment members go to Hardbody, who uses quite colorful language directed at them. The audience roars their approval,and Hardbody leaves.
Razz: The #1 Face is apparantly quite adversed to being the Corporate Champion!
JP: Clear the room! We have an exhibition match!