OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/Imperial Onslaught 2008
Live! From Springfield, Indiana
Tournament of ChampionsLUCIOS vs. DH MAGNUSSON[/u]
Lucios makes his was to ringside first to the sounds of “God Blessed Texas” He hits the ring and grabs a microphone:
Lucios: Listen up you Hoosiers. At this time Every one you needs to stand up and pay some respect for the Texas National Anthem
Lucios stands and faces the OOWFTron, where
appears. The crowd goes wild with boos. The Band playing is quickly drown by the crowd. Lucios appears unfazed until "Calm Before The Storm" by Arcade fires up. The crowd goes WILD as the Intercontinental Champion appears on the top of the ramp. DH Magnusson acknowledges the crowd for a moment, then turns and charges down the ramp and slides into the ring. Lucios begins stomping away before DH gets to his feet and a bell sounds; WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Dh gets to his feet and it’s a full out brawl. Lefts. Rights. Elbows. DH needs the 3 full minutes of hand to hand combat with a head butt. Lucios staggers and gets shoulder blocked into the corner. Magnusson lays in a few stomps and then whips Lucios across the ring into the opposite corner. Lucios hits hard and staggers forward, where DH levels him with a clothesline. DH drops an elbow and covers for a 2 count. DH picks up Lucios and hits a big Scoop Slam, followed by an –Un-Hogan like Leg drop. DH follows up immediately with a Pile driver for a 2 count. Dh pulls Lucios to his feet and executes a textbook Suplex. DH points to the ropes and the fans cheer in approval. Middle Rope Fist drop for a 2 count. Lucios gets to his feet and sidesteps a spear. DH crashes through the ropes and to the floor. Luc pounces, planchaing over the ropes and driving DH into the guardrail. Lucios grabs DH by the hair and drags him to the Micronesian Announce table. He attempts to slam DH’s head into said table, but DH blocks the attempt, elbows Lucios in the gut, and delivers the head smash himself. DH rolls Lucios into the ring and climbs in himself. Lucios plays possum and catches Magnusson with the Greco-Roman thumb to the eye. The referee chastises Lucios, but he ignores him. Gorilla press slam. Lucios bounds off the ropes and delivers a knee drop that nets a 2 count. Lucios signal that it’s Suplex Time! The crowd disagrees. Lucios hoists DH up for a Delayed vertical suplex. He does the Chavo Guerrero hip twist and hits a Gordbuster. A Slingshot suplex follows immediately. Lucios poses, then covers for a 1 count. DH is up and they begin to exchange blows again. Lucios drops DH with a BIONIC ELBOW and Hoists him up for a Border Toss. DH slides off his back, and hits a nice hangman’s neck breaker. He gets a 3 count, but the referee waves it off when he see’s Lucios foot under the ropes. DH gets up pretty aggravated and turns away from Lucios for a moment. Lucios grabs Dh in a hammerlock and hoists him in the air, before SLAMMING him into the mat He covers for a 2.89898 count, which pissed the masked man off. HE turns to the referee to argue and leaves DH to get to his feet on his own. BACKSLIDE! 1…2…3!
Winner; in 7:23; DH Magnusson
PHANTOS vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY[/u]
You have to wonder if the chorus of boos and catcalls that greet Phantos upon his entrance are going to affect him coming up here tonight, as he's been so accustomed to the cheers and thunder ovation that Seamus gets as he hits the ramp. For his part Phantos seems unconcerned, checking the ropes as the big Irishman makes his way to the...
Phantos slingshots over the top rope as Seamus reaches the ring, slamming into him with a plancha followed up by a flurry of lightning fast right hands to the head of the Onslaught champion! He rides McNasty down, hammering away the whole time, and rolls him into the ring, screaming for the bell! The referee gives the signal, and Phantos dives onto Seamus, hooking the leg!
1...
2...
A strong kick out by Seamus sends the Texan flying, but before the Irishman can get to his feet, Phantos comes roaring back with a basement dropkick to the side of the head and another cover!
1...
2...
Kick out by Seamus, and Phantos thought that was CLEARLY a three count, and makes sure the referee knows it. Quick pickup followed by an Irish Whip, and Phantos is solidly in control as he brings the big man out of the corner with a monkey flip! High elevation standing leg drop, and a cover;
1...
One count only as Seamus powers out. Phantos hits the ropes quickly, and ducks the clothesline attempt by Seamus, and comes back to eat a big boot by Seamus! Pick up by Seamus, and a high angle body slam that shakes the ring, followed by a thundering elbow drop!
1...
2...
Phantos rolls a shoulder, and Seamus fires him off with an Irish Whip of his own, but Phantos hits the baseball slide turnaround, and launches back with a flying forearm that rocks Seamus backwards. A few more forearm smashes leave Seamus reeling as Phantos hits a beautiful standing dropkick that puts him down. Cover, and Phantos throws his feet up on the ropes for a little extra leverage:
1...
2...
Hightower catches the feet on the ropes and waves off the cover attempt, earning a heated comment from Phantos, followed by a shove the drive the point home. Hightower shoves Phantos back and reminds him that he's an official, which backs the masked man off and redirects him to Seamus. Phantos fires Seamus back into the turnbuckle again, and launches through the air, looking for another monkey flip, but the Onslaught champion hangs on, then throws Phantos back into the corner and launches a barrage of elbows and knees that leave the high-flyer him a heap. Whip to the far corner back Seamus, and he charges in right behind with huge Japanese clothesline! He pulls Phantos to the middle and loads him up, signaling for the Wild Rover but Phantos slips out the backdoor and hits a springboard back elbow to the back of Seamus' head followed by a kidney level drop kick! Seamus hits the ropes face first before staggering back into a backstabber! Phantos quickly springs to the top rope and perches while Seamus gets up, and flies off for the top rope hurricanrana...NO! Seamus doesn't go over...THE WILD ROVER! Phantos is folded in half, and Seamus leans in while Hightower slides in:
1...
2...
3!
WINNER via PINFALL at 7:04 SEAMUS McNASTY!
<Seamus Leaves the ring and "Idle Hands" plays and a forlorn-looking Tyson Kincaid walks to the ring. He is receiving another mixed-reaction as he reaches for a microphone. The music stops and the crowd silences.>
TK: I'm not going to mince words. I've waited long enough for this moment and to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't be able to find any the right words even if I wanted to.
Firewoman, your seven days are up. Now's the time for you to own up to our past and admit to the entire world while you abandoned me - abandoned our friendship - and left me to rot.
After a moments pause, the OOWF video screen at the top of the stage flickers on and the lights in the area dim.
<We cut to a deserted training area, somewhere backstage. Well, it is somewhat deserted, except for Firewoman, her hands taped, working on the heavy bag. Most of the bruises and cuts from Sunday's Hell on Earth have healed. Unfortunately, there is some unfinished business from last week's Mayhem to attend to, and who gets the pleasure of interrupting Firewoman in her pre-match ritual? Why, the f'ing new guy! In this case, it's SFJ#420, who comes cruising up with a NinjaCam.>
SFJ#420: Um, like.... Firewoman right?
<Firewoman doesn't stop her punching>
FW: You got it, kid. You are disturbing me because...?
SFJ#420: I'm not sure...some mopey guy told me to get a statement from you.
<Still punching, but way more focused now.>
FW: Mopey guy? You're going to have to narrow it down a bit more, sweetie, there's like a ton of those around here. Was he wearing a rabbit suit?
SFJ#420: Um, no...not that I noticed.
FW: You'd think you'd notice something like that. Was he carrying around an empty tennis racket case, looking like he just lost his first born child?
SFJ#240: No...he was just really, really sad. He said you were supposed to explain something.
<With that revelation, Firewoman lands a right hook square on the bag. Obviously she doesn't punch it off its hook, as that would be well outside the suspension of disbelief. But the force does shake the structure and the floor around where it is mounted, and makes the newbie jump. Normally, this would make Firewoman all kinds of happy, but she's too mad right now.>
FW: Dammit. Is he still on about that? Give me this.
<Firewoman grabs the mic, and then fakes an elbow in the micstand's general direction. Because she's new, this totally freaks #420 out, and she shrieks a girlie shriek and runs away. This does amuse Firewoman for a minute, but then it's back to the task at hand.>
Tyson, why do you not just let sleeping dogs lie? What is with the hurt and forlorn act? Because let me assure everyone out there in OOWF-land, it is really just an act. Tyson is the master of emotional manipulation. And the sad part? Most of the time he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Hell, most of the time he doesn't even know where he is.
Many of you have seen this. [She pulls out the picture of her and Tyson celebrating a ring victory] Aw, what a happy tag team, right? Not. Sure, we were successful. When he wants to be, Tyson Kincaid is a damn fine wrestler. It's that whole when he wants to be part. That's why Lance teamed us in the first place. He felt Tyson needed someone stable to keep him on an even keel.
Now...let's all reflect on that. I know I have my own problems with "stability." That should tell you just how bad off Tyson really is, that Firewoman is the stable one.
So, after talking with Chris, I decided to go ahead and team with him. And from day one it was a nightmare. Tyson missed practices, blew spots. I don't know what all was going on with him, and I didn't care. Oh sure, he'd blather on like most men do. At first I would listen to his sad tales, everything was an issue, everything was drama, too much to handle, he never thought he’d measure up to gods know who or what. I would hold his hand while he puked his guts out after ingesting whatever it was he could get his hands on, hide his problems from the staff at Storm Wrestling. Eventually, this grew old, and I began wondering how soon I could get out of this. I never told him what was really going on, but Chris told me to be patient. I know he and Lance argued about it, though. Lance thought we should be marketed to the feds as a team, Chris disagreed. I knew Tyson was too unstable, but left it to those with more experience to figure it out.
Then came that weekend of the photo, which was I guess our de facto graduation from Storm Wrestling. I thought Tyson had developed something of a crush on me, and really... who wouldn't? But I have my own problems, I don't need to take his on too, right? So that night, while celebrating, sure, Tyson made his move. And I decked him. And I left with Chris. I heard he passed out soon after that from whatever cocktail of drugs and booze there was that night. End of story. That is the extent of whatever "romance" he seems to think there is.
Two days later, I get a call out of the blue from OOWF. They wanted us to come sign with them. I'm not sure how they knew about us so quickly, but never one to let that worry me, I started getting ready to go, and I gave Tyson a call, but got no answer. Then I thought... do I wanna carry Tyson with me? Or do I want to risk him dragging me down, because he was so unreliable? Did I want several more years of trying to sober him up or talk him out from whatever hole he had crawled into, putting my career in jeopardy? Hell no. Remember the cardinal rule: Firewoman always does what is best for Firewoman. Always.
So...I told Lance that OOWF had just called for me. They hadn't mentioned Tyson at all. And with that I left. I suppose I could have tried to find him, but no one had seem him for two days. I told Rick I tried calling Tyson, and he didn't answer. He seemed satisfied with that. And the rest is history.
So you see, Tys... There's no big romance, no big blow up between friends. Just two people. One who sees opportunity and grabs it, and the other who can't pull himself together long enough to even answer the phone.
And now you follow me here, align with Eric O'Mac your first day here, and then start giving me the sad puppy dog eyes, demanding explanations? Well, you should have been careful what you wished for, sunshine, because now you got your explanation. Hope that sparkles for ya.
<Firewoman drops the mic with a loud thud and some feedback, and stalks off to continue pre-match preparation.>
<We cut back to the arena where the lights come back on. Kincaid is left standing in the ring. The microphone falls softly from his hand as he closes his eyes and tilts his head to the ceiling. His fists clench as he obviously struggles to control his emotions. He hurriedly leaves the ring and rushes to the backstage area, out of site of the fans who are still not quite sure what to make of the spectacle they have witnessed.>
DH MAGNUSSON vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – Tournament of Champions Final[/u]
Seamus McNasty enters the arena first, striding to the ring and using the ropes to warm up as he awaits his opponent. The crowd erupts as D.H. Magnusson storms to the ring. The two men face off in center ring and exchange a quick handshake as referee Junior Hale calls for the bell.
They lock up and both men try to get the advantage but end up in a stalemate. They break and try again with the same results. On the third try Seamus grabs a headlock, but DHM shoots him off. Seamus ducks a clothesline and comes back with a shoulder block, but DHM stands his ground. DHM dares him to try it again and, when he does, sidesteps and catches Seamus with a side slam. DHM stomps away, then goes to the ropes and drops a leg across Seamus' throat. He covers, but only gets one.
DHM rolls to his feet and catches Seamus with a forearm as he gets up. He presses the advantage with a series of big left hands, and drops him with the Thundercrack. He snaps Seamus over with a suplex and makes another cover, but Seamus kicks out at two. DHM pulls Seamus off the mat, and gets rocked by a punch to the midsection. Seamus tries for a DDT, but DHM blocks it, so Seamus drives an elbow into the back of his head. He muscles DHM over with a gut wrench suplex, then delivers the Rocky Road to Dublin. Seamus falls on him and hooks the leg, but DHM kicks out at two.
Seamus rolls to his feet and hits a hard right cross as DHM gets up. He drives him back the ropes with punches, then whips him across the ring and plants him with the Irish Car Bomb. He hooks the leg and Junior counts One…Two…Thr – DHM kicks out! Seamus pulls DHM to his feet and tosses him to the corner, pounding on him with elbows and knees. He whips DHM across the ring and follows him in for a Stinger Splash, but DHM moves out of the way and Seamus slams into the corner, striking his head on the ring post. Seamus staggers back and DHM plants him with a German suplex, getting a long two count.
Both men get to their feet and meet in center ring with fists flying. Seamus’ height gives him a slight advantage, and he gets the better of the exchange. With DHM reeling, Seamus pushes him back to the ropes, whips him across the ring, and hits a drop toehold, floating over into the Black Velvet Band. He struggles to cinch it in, but DHM thrashes and manages to reach the ropes. Seamus releases the hold and steps back, then moves in as DHM starts to get up. DHM turns and sweeps Seamus’ legs. Seamus goes down and DHM bounces off the ropes and drives an elbow into his throat. DHM pulls Seamus to his feet and right into the Jersey Hammer. He forgoes the cover this time and Drags Seamus back to his feet to nail him with the Dream Street. Seamus struggles, but can’t get any leverage against the hold. He’s in the middle of the ring and can’t reach the ropes, so has no choice but to tap.
WINNER in 14:46, D.H. Magnusson.
After the match: DHM allows Junior to raise his hand, then turns and helps Seamus to his feet. The two men exchange another handshake before Seamus leaves the ring, allowing DHM to bask in his victory.
IMPERIAL ONSLAUGHT 2008[/u]
Rules are as follows. Two men begin the match, every two minutes thereafter, another competitor enters. Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. After all 30 participants have entered the match the final four survivors will enter Ultimate Onslaught. Ultimate Onslaught will commence with a Hell in the Cell cage being lowered from above. Once the cage is in place, the bell will sound and eliminations will occur via pin fall or submission. There are no count outs. There are no disqualifications. The last participant standing will be declared the winner and will receive an OOWF World Title shot at a later date of his or her choosing.
Bunny is #1, ready for action.
Eric O’Mac has drawn #2 and he is none too pleased with it. Eric tries to stall at the bell, reasoning with Bunny about the length of the match, but Bunny’s having none of it, slapping the taste out of his mouth and going to work. Monkey flip out of the corner and a rolling thunder senton, and Eric bails to the floor. Bunny follows out with a suicide dive thru the ropes and both guys are down. They brawl on the floor, Eric getting the advantage by going to the eyes. Then to the post. Eric rolls back in as we get the horn for #3, and it’s
Tyson Kincaid. Kincaid lays into Bunny on the floor, hip tossing him onto the steps. He rolls him in, and it’s simple work for Eric to toss him… but Bunny hangs on, comes up on the apron and hits a springboard double clothesline on both guys! Bunny fights them off, but the numbers are too much, and Tyson pounds him down. They try to toss him again, but Bunny gets a head scissors takedown. #4 is
Ryan Hardcore, out to some vicious boos, and when Bunny goes to the top to come down on Kincaid, Ryan simply hops on the apron and shoves him off to the guardrail in a nasty bump to eliminate him. Eric has words for Hardcore and they throw hands right on the spot as Kincaid stands back and watches. Back and forth they go, and Eric gets the upper hand until Ryan goes low and looks for the elimination. Tyson looks around and figures what the hell and moves in to dump BOTH guys, but both guys hold on and slide back in. Eric and Ryan set aside their differences momentarily and go after Kincaid, but Eric steps back and drills Hardcore with a roundhouse kick. Eric tells Kincaid to toss him, but when he turns his back, Tyson goes after Eric instead. So now THEY have it out as #5 is
Justin Sane. Justin storms in, goes to the top and hits a corkscrew plancha onto both of them, then kicks the hell out of Hardcore. Sane’s a ball of fire, and a shining wizard knocks Kincaid silly. EOM grabs him from behind, but Justin gets a jawbreaker, then a super kick to Hardcore. Sane is able to neutralize all three guys for the duration of the two minute period until
SYB is out at #6. SYB sneaks in and gets a blatant low blow on Sane, but he can’t dump him. Hardcore is over to assist on Justin, as does Kincaid, and they’re gonna toss him. But Eric comes in and wants the honors, so they leave it for him. Eric pulls Sane up, but Justin’s playing possum and hotshots him. Everyone jumps at EOM, who’s dangling across the top rope, and Eric gets pushed over, but EOM grabs the ropes and manages to slide back in. Hardcore and Kincaid pound Justin down again as SYB kicks Eric around a little.
Outback Jack is #7 and comes in hitting everything that moves. Down goes SYB. Down goes Ryan. Down goes Eric. Down goes Kincaid. Down goes Justin. Then everyone gets taken down again. Then one more time for good measure. Jack chokes out Ryan with his vest, kicking Kincaid and SYB away while doing so. Eric charges, but OBJ shoves Hardcore in the way, and they bang heads. T-Bone suplex for Eric, and Jack alley oops Sane onto SYB and Kincaid. OBJ clotheslines EOM over the top, but again, Eric hangs on. Sane and Jack alternate stomping Kincaid and SYB, but Ryan’s back over to break that up as
Apocalyptic Existence is #8. AE is also an equal opportunity offender and slugs anyone who moves. Baldo bomb for Hardcore, who oversells it in spectacular fashion, and Eric walks into a big boot. SYB gets ANOTHER low blow in, this one to AE to slow him down, while Kincaid and OBJ have it out. SYB lines AE up on the ropes, but takes too long in setting him up and eats a massive big boot instead when he charges in. Sane tries to dump Eric, but EOM fights away with some back elbows as
Z.K. DeBeers enters at the #9 spot to heel heat. DeBeers enters, and the fight slows to a halt. One by one, the other 7 guys in the ring stop what they’re doing to turn and look at ZKD. And all at once, they jump him. Down to the mat in a dog pile goes DeBeers. OBJ drags him up and everyone takes turns pinballing him around the circle of guys, until Jack levels him with a BOOMERANG~! And Hardcore tosses DeBeers. Then, everyone goes right back to what they were doing like nothing happened. But, #10 is about to happen, and it’s
Moosehead Jack! Except Moose isn’t making an entrance. It appears the damage done at Hell on Earth was indeed too much for even MHJ to handle, so the match continues without a tenth entrant. And now we get some bodies cleared of the ring. First to go is SYB, who gets a little overconfident and then tossed by Justin Sane. However, Kincaid seizes that opportunity to immediately dump Sane. Hardcore and Eric isolate AE and manage to dump him up and over the top to the floor, but Jack follows with a double clothesline for them, and both Eric and Hardcore hold on. Kincaid charges in, and OBJ backdrops him over the top to the floor instead! Jack drags up Eric and Ryan by the hair and gives them good ol’ double noggin knocker, and inverted atomic drops for each leave them both in pain. EOM gets tossed again, and again he holds on. Jack looks to set up the BOOMERANG on Hardcore, but Ryan reverses it and sends Jack to the ropes, where Eric’s puling himself back up, and OBJ gets low bridged and eliminated! Ryan and Eric are still woozy as the countdown is on for #11. Three…two…one…
And it’s
F.F. Capslock!! Place goes batshit insane as FFC takes his sweet time coming to the ring, taping up the fists and ready to murder Ryan Hardcore. Ryan realizes what’s happening, tries to beg off, and as FFC climbs in… Hardcore ELIMINATES HIMSELF! Crowd boos him out of the building, but Ryan’s gonna live to fight another day and scurries away. That leaves Eric alone with a pissed off FFC, and when he realizes it, it’s Eric’s turn to beg off. Eric tries to kick him low, but FFC catches his foot and takes his head off with a monster short clothesline. Eric goes thru the ropes and to the floor, knocked the fuck out. FFC rules the ring as it’s time for #12… and that sounds like the Hart Foundation’s music??? Since his former tag team partner had been cashing checks for the past nine months, he wanted to get in on the action, so we got
Brad “The Hitman” Smoley recreating his character the WWE ripped off four years later. Capslock laughs it off as Smoley goes to all four sides of the ring, holding open the leather jacket that’s three sizes too small. Smoley takes off the shades and gives them to a fan at ringside, who immediately throws them back. Smoley rolls into the ring and it’s instantly GREETINGS FROM FRESNO~! Then a SECOND one. Then a THIRD one!! Smoley is dead… just like old times. Capslock dumps him with ease and it’s time for #13. And NOW things will get interesting, as Capslock’s old buddy, old pal
Attitude Adjuster! AA sizes up the situation and stalls momentarily, then proceeds with caution as FFC welcomes him into the ring. Capps steps in, then backs off, then steps in again. AA gets his courage up and goes to lock up… just as Eric comes back in from the backside and clips Capslock’s knee. AA and Eric go to town on the knee because if FFC can’t stand, he can’t toss anyone over the top. AA measures a knee drop, and Eric grabs a half crab. Buzzer sounds for #14 and it’s
Carl From Fresno! Fresno’s favorite sons manage to fight off EOM and AA, as Carl works over AA in the corner. FFC pounds Eric down and tries to toss him, but Eric holds on again. So it’s 2 on 2 with nobody gaining a serious edge until
The Dead is out at #15. Dead has some words for the fans as he makes his way down, then picks off Carl with a running forearm upon entering. Dead jumps Capslock from behind, but that gets nowhere. AA is over to help however, and the two of them and Eric are able to take him down again. Carl hops back in the fray and we’ve got a five way donnybrook here, with all five guys just laying into each other with some STIFF shots. Eric comes up bleeding from the nose after a shot from FFC. Dead tries to dump Carl, but Carl fights him off.
#16 is a pissed off former OOWF Champion,
L.D. Williams, looking for a rematch. L.D. doesn’t give a shit and stiffs everyone when he steps in the ring. Williams chops the ever loving shit out of Eric in the corner, then takes down AA with a running back elbow. Carl gets dropped. And as FFC tries to stand up, Williams takes his leg out again just to be a dick. LDW and Dead team up to keep Capslock on the mat. Double DDT does the trick, but then Williams DDT’s Dead, as well. LDW works over Eric in the corner as
Blitz comes in at #17. He goes right after Dead, who’s half-conscious, but Blitz doesn’t care after what happened on Sunday. Blitz beats the hell out of Dead, clobbering him with right hands and drawing blood. Williams looks on in approval, but then soccer kicks Blitz in the gut. AA seems refreshed and tries to dump Carl, but turns around into a huge big boot from Capslock! GREETINGS FROM FRESNO~! But Eric clips the knee again to stop that. We have another countdown for #18… and it’s
Tytan. And the big man means business, stepping right in and tossing Carl over the top. Tytan gets some shots in on AA, then nails Capslock with a stiff right hand. Dead and Blitz scrap near the ropes and Tytan charges in and clotheslines BOTH guys over and out! AA and Eric attempt to surround him, but can’t seem to make a move on him. Williams goes right up to him and wants to go, but Tytan shoves him all the way thru the ropes and to the floor. Countdown for #19, and now we REALLY got problems because it’s
Poe! We’ve got Gods and Monsters in the ring and fresh! Eric and AA beg off and try to bail, but Poe and Tytan pull them both back in. Stereo power bombs for them! Tytan slings Eric across the ring like a ragdoll, and EOM winds up sliding under the turnbuckle and crotching himself. Poe tosses AA with ease. With Eric in pain and Williams on the floor, that leaves Gods and Monsters alone in the ring with Capslock, who’s getting to his feet. FFC scopes out the situation, finds the hole he’s in, and says screw it and goes right after both of them. FFC fares okay for a little bit, but the numbers catch up. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM~! And Poe and Tytan dump Capslock over the top! Time for #20 and it’s
The Amnesiac, who cluelessly runs into the ring like a lamb being led to slaughter. Big boot, double leg drop, and Poe and Tytan take their time working him over. Williams watches on from the floor, encouraging Gods & Monsters to take their time, but they sling Amnesiac over and out nevertheless. Poe and Tytan take a survey of the scene and spot Eric laid out in the corner. But before they can drag his carcass out of there, the buzzer sound for #21 and it’s
Puck Dupp. Puck takes his time getting to the ring, because, ya know, Poe and Tytan are just waiting on him. Puck makes a plan, but before he can do anything, Williams grabs him from behind and tosses him in, and Tytan and Poe put the boots to him. Puck bumps around like a superball as G&M put a beating on him. Eric pulls himself up, sees what’s going on, and powders to the floor, as well. Tytan crotches Puck on the top rope, and Poe goes to the apron and choke slams Puck from the top rope THRU THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! Whoa! Who’s next? LDW and EOM exchange ideas and opt for the smartest one: walk out. So Williams and Eric walk up the aisle as we get the signal for #22.
And as soon as Williams and Eric get thru the curtain, they are dragged back from behind the curtain by
Stank!! Business is about to pick up. Stank tosses both guys into the ring where Tytan and Poe put the beats on them. However, Stank follows right in and throws hands with both of the big guys. Before you know it, Eric and LDW are holding their own as well, as the defacto 3 on 2 begins to wear them down. Stank with an avalanche for Poe. The same for Tytan… but Williams and Eric take down Stank on the rebound because they don’t trust him either. Hey, every man for himself. Or woman in this case, as
Firewoman is out at #23 to a showering of boos and assorted trash, including but not limited to used condoms. Eric wastes no time in getting in her face and they have it out right there. LDW inserts himself into the fray and we have a three way fight. Poe and Tytan get Stank isolated, and look to finish him off. But Stank reverses an Irish whip attempt, sending Tytan right back into Poe. They knock heads, and that allows Stank to grab Tytan and eliminate him! Poe staggers around… STANK-U~!!! And Stank tosses Poe!! So we’ve got Eric, who's been there there 40 minutes, Williams, Stank, and Fire… and Stank finally realizes that Firewoman’s in the ring. Stank grabs EOM and slings him aside, then pulls Williams away… and he’s got Fire backed into a corner. Crowd begins to buzz. We got the countdown for #24 and the horn sounds as Stank grabs Fire by the hair. We’ve got music and pyro for
Concrete TG, but, as with Moose earlier, there’s no Crete. HOWEVER,
Alexander Darling rushes out of the back and jumps Stank from behind with a chain. The refs at ringside tell him he’s entered the match out of order. Darling says he doesn’t give a shit and tells one of the refs to “wipe your ass this number,” which he tosses toward the official, allowing us to see it was number 30. Nevertheless, Darling makes the save for Fire. So they crow over Stank again, just like Sunday, and Williams and Eric look on in amusement… then jump Darling and Fire from behind! We’ve got a brawl and the crowd heat here is off the charts – who woulda guessed the fans would be cheering for L.D. Williams and Eric O’Mac? During the fray, we get #25:
Damon Wrath. Damon’s in to lay out the lumber, and everyone gets a piece of him. Forearms for Williams, and Wrath takes him down with a massive shoulder block. Darling gets knocked aside. Eric takes a high backdrop bump, selling into the ropes. Fire reasons with Damon... and just kicks him in the balls. Fire and Darling put the boots to him, but that allows LDW and EOM to drag them off again and have at it one more time. Damon counters that by clotheslining them all down at the same time. They try to divide and conquer, but Eric and Darling get into it before they can make any headway, and Wrath takes down Fire with an overhand forearm, then LDW with a belly to belly throw. Darling tosses EOM, but Eric hangs on yet again. AD goes for the kill, but Eric shoulders him in the gut and hits a nifty top rope Rocker Dropper! Fire immediately takes him down with a spinning heel kick, but Stank is to his feet, and he has Darling's chain. The crowd begins to buzz again, as Fire has no idea Stank's up. Stank stalks her and chokes her out with the chain! The buzzer sounds for #26 and
Spin Hansen hits the ring. Spin immediately goes after Darling, being sure to shove Eric aside so he can get his first. Wrath is trying to take LDW to the floor, but Williams has successfully grabbed enough rope to stop that, elbowing his way out. Wrath pries Stank off of Fire, and they have a brief stare down before they slug it out. Shoulder block contest goes to a draw, and when Damon tries another one, Spin comes from the blindside with a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL~! Eric drags Darling up, and Williams is over to kick AD in the gut, then has a right hand for Eric. Fire tries to crawl away under the ropes, but Stank drags her back in. Stank grabs her, but Darling is over with a flying forearm to break that up. Spin tries to take Damon out, but Wrath grabs him in a front face lock and tries to take HIM out. As they struggle, Fire and Darling come over and dump both guys, Wrath going to the floor, but Spin holding on and kicking Damon away as he tried to drag him down, as well.
Skurge is out at #27, and he immediately gets nowhere with Stank, Williams, and Eric. LDW grabs him for the DDT, but Fire bulldogs Williams from behind. Stank and Eric exchange some words, and Eric apparently calls him a bad name and shoves him, so Stank drops him with a roundhouse left. Skurge kicks Spin while he's down as Darling and Fire step back and assess matters. Williams is back to his feet and looks to nail Skurge, but he instead jumps on Darling and Fire instead, taking them both on. Skurge is over to help out and they pepper AD and Fire with lefts and rights, taking them down. Williams shoves Skurge, and Skurge returns the favor, but Spin takes them both down with a double clothesline. Meanwhile, in the corner, Stank is just killing Eric. Getting a favorable draw at #28 is
Chris Cole. Cole goes right after Stank, but Spin cuts him off at the pass and they duke it out dead center of the ring. Stank comes over to join the party, and Cole's quickly outnumbered. Darling drags Spin out of the mix, and he and FW work him over in the corner. Skurge charges in, but Fire sidesteps him and sends him sailing over the top rope and to the floor and rolling up the aisle. Williams nails Stank from behind, and he and CC beat him down in the corner. EOM staggers up a bloody mess, and Cole plants him with the HEADLINER for good measure. EOM is dead. While LDW and CC focus on Stank, Darling and Fire are trying to get Spin over the top and to the floor, but Hansen fights them off, managing to get Darling over the top, but AD hangs on and pulls himself back in. The delay however allows Spin to get some shots in on Fire. #29 is up, and our final entrant – since Darling entered early – is
Johnny Adrenaline. Johnny hits the ring and goes after Spin, but Fire doesn't want the help and decks Johnny. Darling goes to the eyes to keep Spin at bay, and Williams and Cole have Stank teetering over the top. Stank's holding on for dear life, and Johnny's over to help. Eric staggers back up and grabs Cole and they have at it, and Stank is able to fend off LDW and Johnny. Fire goes to assist AD with Spin yet again, but Spin keeps fighting them off. Eric nails Cole with a float over DDT, but eats a super kick from Darling on the rebound. Stank finally frees himself of Williams, and has a line on Darling, and Stank CLOBBERS him with a jumping clothesline. Stank goes batshit on him. Johnny comes over and hammers Stank with a stiff double axe handle, but Stank no-sells it and backs Johnny into a corner. Fire charges and goes to leap on Stank's back, but Stank moves and Fire smashes Johnny in the turnbuckle. JA staggers out, and Spin grabs him by the hair and sends him over the top and to the floor! Eric and Williams drag Darling up, but Cole sneaks up from behind Williams and DUMPS HIM! Williams is PISSED! Cole tells him that it's every man for himself and Williams tells him something else. But while Cole is sidetracked, Stank comes from behind and clotheslines him over and out to the floor! And just like that, we're down to five. Eric slams Darling and goes up top, but Spin sends Darling to the ropes, crotching EOM on the turnbuckle. Darling ducks a clothesline and plants Spin with a brain buster. But Stank sneaks up behind Darling and grabs him for the STANK-U~! But out of desperation, Fire shoves Stank and Darling over the top rope! AD falls off the back and into the ring, but Stank goes over the top! Darling and Fire breathe a sigh of relief, thinking Stank has been eliminated. But Stank is holding onto the top rope, and he attempts to SKIN THE CAT! But, Davin Moreland hops out of the crowd with a baseball bat and CREAMS Stank across the back as he pulls himself back in, and Stank falls to the floor with a thud! Moreland whacks Stank with the bat one more time for good measure and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE CONCRETE~! Darling slides out of the ring to assist with the matter as the bell sounds to signal the end of the battle royal portion of the match at 1:09:02.
ULTIMATE ONSLAUGHT: Eric O’Mac vs. Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling vs. Spin Hansen
The cage begins to lower as Moreland and Darling brutalize Stank on the floor. Darling’s found a chair and he pounds him down with that, and Moreland hits a dominator on the chair for good measure. They set up for a spike pile driver… but F.F. CAPSLOCK makes the save, and Moreland and Darling scatter, Davin thru the crowd from which he came, and AD back to the ring. Problem for Darling is that the cage is locked and he can’t get in! That leaves Fire isolated with Spin and Eric, and they make quick work of her with a TODESFALL and the EMAC ATTACK~! Eric with the cover, and just like that Firewoman is ELIMINATED. A referee finally opens the cage and Darling is in and he’s angry. AD goes right after Spin to no avail, and Spin looks for SPINAL JUSTICE, but Eric comes over with a leaping clothesline to break that up. EOM kicks Spin out of the ring and focuses on Darling himself. Spine buster and Eric wants the SMACKDOWN, but Darling elbows out. A double reversal leads to the DARLING DRIVER~! But Spin breaks that up with a LADDER TO THE FACE~! And Spin nails Eric, too. Avalanche in the corner for Eric, and Spin slams Darling on the ladder. Leg drop gets a two count. Eric makes a run at Spin, but Spin hotshots him into the corner and kills him with a lariat on the rebound. SPINAL JUSTICE for Eric, but Darling uses the ladder on the pivot and nails Spin in the jewels with it. Eric and Darling team up to put Spin down. Some double teaming, as Eric and Darling seem to be able to co-exist well enough. Eric goes up top as AD wants a power bomb… but Spin sweeps the legs and catapults him right into Eric! EOM gets crotched again and falls to the floor. AD rebounds right into the WTF~! Spin’s got it locked in, but it gets broken up on accident by Eric, who slides the ladder into them upon re-entering the ring. Darling sets the ladder up and wants to climb for some reason, so Spin simply walks under him and gets an electric chair drop! One, two, but AD somehow kicks out. Eric looks for a figure four, but Spin counters it and kicks EOM into the ladder. Eric cushions the blow however by landing on the ladder like Spiderman, but Spin trumps him by shoving the ladder over from behind, sending Eric sailing over the top and into the cage HARD! Spin admires his work… but for a moment too long, as Darling is waiting for him with the DARLING DRIVER ON THE LADDER~! Completely nasty bump, and AD had enough left in the tank to drag himself over and get the pin! Spin is ELIMINATED. Darling goes to the floor to finish off what’s left of Eric, who is bleeding everywhere. Darling sends him to the cage several times, then to the post. Back in, but Eric gets a desperation mule kick to slow Darling down. Both guys up and they just slug it out. Wild lefts and rights as the crowd really begins to get into it. Eric gets a slight edge, backing Darling up to the ropes, and they end up fighting thru the ropes and to the floor. Darling whips Eric to the cage, but EOM runs up the cage and gets a moonsault instead! Nice! Eric catapults AD to the cage, and Darling comes up bleeding. EOM uses the stairs and we go back in. Darling goes to the eyes in desperation and tries a running crucifix bomb, but Eric falls off the back and they bang heads as Darling turns around. AD falls on top, one… two… but Eric kicks out. Darling up first and he tries a Boston crab, but Eric twists him off. Eric up now, but Darling counters a charge with SMACKDOWN~! Darling steals Eric’s move! Darling motions that he’s gonna use the frog splash, too, and goes to the top. Darling comes down with his variation of the EMAC ATTACK~! But, upon landing, Eric POPS HIM WITH THE CHAIN that Darling brought into the match nearly an hour ago!! Eric manages to drape an arm over Darling… one…two…THREE!!
WINNER in 1:43:35 (34:33 of Ultimate Onslaught): ERIC O’MAC
DAVIN MORELAND vs. DH MAGNUSSON[/u]
“Calm Before the Storm” by Arcade fires up, and the crowd gets to their feet as the Intercontinental Champion DH Magnusson makes his way to the ring, carrying what appears to be a trusty logging chain. HUSS! DH sneers at Still Senior Referee Mel Creech, and hands him his belts and logging chain. The lights in the house go green and the Jumbotron goes dark. comes on and finally “Run DEA” fades onto the screen to a chorus of boos. That fades out to black and then “Davin Moreland” replaces that on the screen. As the loud section in the music kicks in, we get the typical highlights package with “no expense spared” pyro. Finally Davin Moreland appears with Samantha Darling at the top of the ramp. Davin is wearing his World Heavyweight Championship and a Mike Vanderjagt Colts Jersey, which is apparently a good way to piss off an Indiana crowd. They are booing him unmercifully, but Davin is simply smiling and waving. He walks his way into the ring after saying his goodbyes to Samantha, and hands his belt to Creech; and apparently, he still doesn’t like Creech. We’ll see how this goes! Creech calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
DH starts yapping, and Davin says something that looks kind of like “take the cock out of your mouth”. Clearly, that doesn’t go over well, and DH SPEARS Davin out of his boots, and just starts blasting him in the face over and over. He grabs Davin’s hair and starts SMASHING the back of Davin’s head into the mat. FINALLY Creech comes over and starts a count, which prompts DH to step back. Davin is noticeably shaking out the cobwebs as he starts to get up. DH doesn’t wait and CHARGES him again, and walks right into a BIG BOOT! Davin drops to his knees and takes this opportunity to regain his bearings. Both men are up about the same time, and this time, they lock up. They lock up to a stalemate, but the Champ hits a CODEBREAKER out of nowhere, sending DH stumbling backward. Davin is on him quickly and starts SMASHING DH’s face into the turnbuckle. So much so, that boos finally come out, and Creech asks for a break. Davin takes half a step backward, before going back in, and unfortunately for him walks into a JERSEY HAMMER. The cover gets 2.
DH is in control again, pulling Davin up and ROCKING him with uppercuts. He whips Davin to the ropes, and hits a THUNDERCRACK! That cover gets a longer two. DH now goes to work on the potentially still sore ribs of Davin, who, predictably, is now having trouble breathing. He whips Davin to the ropes, and hits a BIG POWER SLAM, and that cover gets two; and as Davin was kicking out, we see Firewoman, Phantos, Lucios, Alexander and Alexis Darling all making their way to the ring area. Oh yeah, they’re all carrying baseball bats; and a couple of them have two. Creech goes to the ropes to say hi, apparently, and DH stands frozen assessing the situation as well. Apparently, he doesn’t see Davin, who DRILLS Magnusson in the balls like Mike Vanderjagt (maybe a little to the right, but still effective) and the big man doubles over. Davin makes the “BANG” symbol, and DESTROYS Magnusson with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER. Everyone around the ring tells Creech to look now. He does and makes the academic count.
WINNER by PINFALL (via nefarious means) in 18:13…DAVIN MORELAND!
Post match, Run DEA spills into the ring with their bats, toss a couple to Davin and Samantha, and we’ve got ourselves a BAT PARTY! Head. Ribs. Knees. Arms. Face. DH Magnusson is quickly a bloody mess, and might be missing some teeth. His face is virtually unrecognizable when Davin holds his hand up and starts SCREAMING in DH’s face. Right about this time, “Skin” by Nonpoint fires up and the rest of Drink and Destroy comes charging out to the ring. Run DEA scatters and takes off through the crowd.
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