OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Georgia
Midweek Mayhem begins as the lights slowly rise on a darkened room. The camera pans around the room. We see Tytan lying on a couch, the Trios title belt draped across his chest as three beautiful girls in togas feed him grapes. Not far from Tytan we see Selena, dressed as a witch with orange streaks in her hair peering into a large bubbling cauldron as if she dropped an earring in there. In the distant corner, Eric O’ Mac sits on the arm of a chair, the Trios title draped over his shoulder. He appears bored and as if he doesn’t want to be here. Finally the camera pans to the center, where Poe stands before the camera, this trademark bloody towel covering his face.
Poe: Greetings OOWF fans and welcome to a very special edition of Midweek Mayhem. We before you are Gods & Monsters, the greatest team this sport has ever known. We shall be your hosts this evening. Tonight is a show for the ages. Tonight, you will see a Mayhem packed with violence like no other…the only way to truly enjoy this sport. First up…you will see Damon Wrath take on…ugh, the Boy known as Alexander Darling. I do indeed hope this is a brutal match. I do like to watch the Boy suffer greatly.
Selena rushes over.
SG: The Boy will be just another victim of my mas…
EOM: That’s Taz’s line!
Selena and Poe are quiet for a moment.
SG: The cute little cartoon dude? Did I miss that one?
EOM: Oh Jesus Christ…
T: Wrong Taz.
The girls stop feeding Tytan grapes.
T: I didn’t say you could stop.
Selena looks up to Poe with a slight pout.
SG: Who’s Taz?
Poe: Enjoy the show.ALEXANDER DARLING vs. DAMON WRATH“The Mirror” by Dream Theater fires up and Damon Wrath makes his way down the ramp to the murmurs of the crowd. He climbs into the ring without fanfare and kind of starts talking to himself. Well, that’s a little odd. The music starts a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing heard is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and Darling takes a step onto the ramp. He doesn’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on him and then ”Princes of the Universe” starts. Alexander and Alexis Darling make their way down the ramp to the massive boos of the crowd, but they both smugly ignore them. Alexander gets his usual “good luck” kiss from his sister and climbs into the ring; making the “Darling Driver” gesture and getting booed even more. Darling just smiles knowingly, completely dismissive of the crowd reaction. Junior Hale checks on both participants and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Lockup to start, and the bigger Damon Wrath gets the advantage, but only for a couple of steps; as Darling quickly lets go and clips Wrath on the knee. However, Darling’s momentum takes him completely to the mat, and Wrath works quickly into the WrathXFace! Hale is checking on Darling, and he might already be in trouble. After about 15 seconds of this, and no movement by Darling; Alexis Darling hops up onto the apron and “distracts” Hale (easy enough to do), which allows Darling to drill Wrath in the balls with a mule kick, breaking the hold. Alexis hops off the apron, and Hale turns around to see both men laid out on the mat, and so he starts a count. Wrath is up first at 5, and starts a stomp-fest on the back of Darling’s head. Quick Scoop Pile driver from Wrath is enough to cover, and that gets two. He hefts Darling up, and hits a BIG JACKNIFE POWERBOMB which sends Darling across the ring. Wrath covers again, but Darling grabs the rope, and Hale sees it at 2.
Frustrated, Wrath gets up and starts talking to himself again; intermittently stomping on Darling, and then walking away. Finally, after doing this 4 times, he grabs Darling, and pulls him up, hitting a Side Suplex. Wrath runs the ropes and hits a Big Knee to the Face! The cover gets 2. Wrath slaps the mat like 400 times and snarls at Hale, who’s kind of not paying attention. He pulls up Darling again, and signals for the LIGHTS OUT (by doing the Shawne Merriman ‘I Shoot Roids’ dance, obviously). He locks on the ARM BAR, but when he goes for the Spin Kick, Darling manages to duck, and with Wrath turned around, clips him in the back of the head with an ENZIGURI! Both men are down again, and Hale eventually gets around to starting a count.
Darling is up at 5 and just mounts Wrath and starts beating the holy hell out of him with some Greco Roman Punches To The Face. This eventually busts his nose open; but Darling is still hurt from before, so he finally stops swinging and kind of collapses on the mat. Hale is about to count again, but Wrath is able to kick Darling right in the ribs, sending him across the ring. Wrath is up and starts yelling at himself again. He walks over to Darling and pulls him up, just to start assaulting him with Right Hands to the Ribs. This goes on for a bit, before Darling rears back and just PASTES Wrath in the mouth, staggering him backward. Darling takes a deep breath, and in yelling, obviously in some pain, lifts up Wrath and hits him with DA BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAHHHHH! Darling takes a couple of seconds to recover, and goes back over to a LOOPY Wrath. He dead lifts Wrath up again, and hits a DARLING DRIVER~! The crowd starts to boo at this turn of events. Darling, still favoring the ribs, clearly, doesn’t cover Wrath surprisingly, instead, he pulls Wrath up. What’s he doing? DARLING VICE! After 30 seconds or so, Wrath drops to his knees, and not too long after that; Wrath has no choice but to tap out.
WINNER in 11:24 by SUBMISSION…ALEXANDER DARLING
Fade in to Selena staring at a skull with ornate carvings on it. She’s moving it around, looking it over as if it were a fine jewel. Something signals her and she finally looks to the camera.
SG: Well that was a fun match. Although the Boy won…hmm…maybe it wasn’t so fun…yeah, anyway, next up is that skank FireWoman versus cry-baby Tyson Kincaid with Lance Storm in his corner, which is someone I’ve never heard of.
EOM: You’ve never heard of Lance Storm?!
Selena turns to Eric.
SG: Is he famous of something?
Eric rolls his eyes, draping his two title belts over his shoulder and pacing near the back of the room.
Selena shrugs and looks back to the camera.
SG: Enjoy the match.
Selena looks at the skull again and licks it as we fade…FIREWOMAN vs. TYSON KINCAIDBefore the match begins, we get a video package of Tyson Kincaid demanding Firewoman address her abandonment of him in the minors, and Firewoman's incredibly cold hearted response and Tyson’s revelation. This promises to be a dramatic match, folks, as even with the revelations made by these two, there’s a whole bunch of unanswered questions. The opening sounds of "Idle Hands" by the Gutter Twins begins, and Tyson Kincaid walks down the ramp to cheers from the crowd that remembers his apparently fluke defeat of Moosehead Jack at Doomy Doomy Doom Doom. Then, Tyson's former trainer and mentor, Lance Storm comes through the curtain, in street wear, and follows him down, increasing the cheers. Kincaid looks around a bit nervously, and goes up the steps to enter the ring, followed by Lance. Lance does the manly pre-match rubdown of Tyson's shoulders and gives him words of encouragement, as the lights go down and the flamepots flare up as "Firewoman" hits the audio, and Firewoman hits the stage, accompanied by Alexander Darling. The crowd boos them as they make their way down the ramp. Firewoman jumps up onto the apron and steps through the ropes into the ring and Alexander assumes the position in her corner. She looks mockingly at Tyson. Lance, who was also her trainer, holds out his hand to say good luck. She gives him the look of death for a minute, but then shakes his hand. She turns away and looks at Alexander who raises his arms and says "What the fuck?" She just shrugs her shoulders and runs the ropes while Tyson jumps in place to get ready to go.
Just before the referee calls for the bell, another figure comes down the ramp. It's Chris Jericho!! The ban must have been lifted at the last minute! He comes down the ramp, in impeccably tailored suit, to even louder boos and stands in Firewoman's corner. He and Alexander lock eyes for a bit, and Jericho makes the international sign of "Shoo!" directing him back stage. Alexander points to his own teeth and says "I still have all of mine." Alexander looks at Firewoman who shrugs and waves goodbye to him. Alexander says "Fine," throws his arms down and stalks to the back, to a healthy chorus from the crowd of "Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye." Lance nods to Jericho, who nods back. Lance leaves the ring and finally again, we are ready to start.
Firewoman starts out a bit more casually than usual, and she kind of has no choice, as Tyson seems incredibly reluctant to lock up. Kincaid gives Fire a sly smile, is he really reluctant, or is he toying with her? They dance around a while, with Firewoman growing increasingly frustrated. Lance is yelling at Tyson to get in there. Firewoman looks to the referee and says, "Come on...." Jericho yells across to Lance, "I told you he didn't have what it takes." But that appears to be exactly what it takes, because Tyson hears him and runs towards Firewoman for the opening lock up. Firewoman pushes him towards the ropes at first, but then Tyson's strength takes over and he pushes her back the other way until she's against the ropes, and the referee has to break the hold. Tyson turns his back to go back towards the center, and Fire sees her opportunity to clobber him on the back of the head. Tyson drops to one knee, and Firewoman comes around him with a roundhouse kick that sprawls him backwards. Firewoman goes over to her corner and high fives Jericho, but Tyson doesn't stay down for long, and he is up. Firewoman turns back around into a clothesline. She's up in a flash, but Tyson grabs her arm and Irish whips her into the near ropes. She bounces back with an elbow, which again catches Tyson by surprise, and he's back down again. Tyson lays there for a bit, contemplating the paths his life has taken, as Firewoman circles him, doing the slow-mock clap. The referee encourages her to step back to give Tyson some space, and when she does, Tyson stands. He looks at her.... looking for something, but he apparently doesn't see it. Lance gets the crowd to clap along to encourage him, and Firewoman... she blows him a kiss? Well that may not have been what he was looking for, but it has some effect because suddenly, he surprises Fire with a clothesline the knocks her out of her boots. She gets up a bit more slowly to her feet, only to be hit with another clothesline. She gets up again, and Tyson whips her into the corner, and follows her in for one, two, three slaps. The crowd “WOOOs” appreciatively. Firewoman pushes Tyson away and staggers towards the center of the ring, trying to catch her breath. Tyson senses his opportunity and grabs Firewoman from behind, and NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX. He pins Firewoman, but she’s far from done and kicks out at 1. Fire rolls away from him as Jericho jumps up on the apron. The referee tells him to get down, as Lance yells at him, too. Fire shakes the cobwebs away and runs towards Tyson, driving him back with a left, than a right, then a left. He hits the corner, and Fire climbs to the second rope to start the one-through-ten punch, but after only two, Tyson blocks the third and TIGER BOMB. Fire is down again, and Jericho is up on the apron. Lance is up also, yelling at him to not interfere. The referee goes to remind them they aren’t even signed here, and to get down. While his back is turned, Firewoman hits a low blow on Tyson that lays him out for a bit, so she can get her bearings. While she’s thinking, she lays a bunch of stomps to keep him down. But one kick is misplaced, and Tyson grabs it. He pulls Firewoman off her feet and tries to set up the FIGURE FOUR, but Firewoman kicks him away. He grabs both of her legs, and although Fire kicks frantically, Tyson manages to get her into a HALF BOSTON CRAB. The referee checks on her, but she shakes her head. All that yoga makes her really flexible, but is it enough? Jericho and Lance are both pounding on the canvas. Firewoman tries to make her way to ropes. She inches her way over there slowly… .slowly… she reaches…. And Jericho pulls her arm to the rope! The ref makes Tyson break the hold, and then admonishes Jericho that if he gets involved again, he’s out of here. Jericho puts his arms up to protest his innocence, as Lance comes around the corner and the two have words. Back in the ring, Firewoman is holding her left leg, while trying to balance on the right. Tyson appears to be the one on fire, and he kicks out Firewoman’s right leg, then leaps over her onto the top turnbuckle to go for the MOONSAULT. But Firewoman gets her knees up, and Tyson bounces off to the side, holding his ribs. Fire sees her opportunity and goes for it. She goes back to the stompy-kicky, then runs back to bounce off the far ropes, and baseball kicks Tyson. He doesn’t get quite out of the ring, and Jericho comes around to perhaps correct that, but Lance gets there first. Jericho goes back to Fire’s corner, as Tyson recovers and stands. Firewoman bounces off the far ropes to get her momentum, then off the ropes behind Tyson, and bounces off to a BULLDOG!. She gets around behind Tyson, and pulls his arms back, setting him up for the Firestomp. But somehow, Tyson gets an arm free, rolls over and kicks Firewoman back. She staggers backwards, and Tyson is up and grabs her and picks her up for the Spinning Fireman’s Carry. But Jericho reaches in and grabs Tyson’s foot, which distracts him long enough for Firewoman to wiggle free. Lance is FURIOUS and leaps up on to the apron. The referee steps over to insist he get off the apron or be removed, while Lance is determined to give details of the shenanigans the referee missed. With this distraction, Jericho tosses a chair in the ring for Firewoman. She swings at Tyson, who ducks, and then as she recoils for another strike, Tyson grabs the other end of the chair. The referee turns back from admonishing Lance to see Firewoman and Tyson playing tug-of-war with the chair, and has no choice but to call for the bell. NO CONTEST.
WINNER – No Contest in 17:39
Firewoman and Jericho are FURIOUS, and try to plead their case with the referee, but it’s not working. Tyson and Lance begin to walk up the ramp, and Tyson looks relieved and more confident that he’s been in weeks.
We fade in to Selena standing in front of Eric O’Mac.
EOM: What?
SG: Why are you being mean to me?
EOM: It’s just what I do darlin’
Selena moves in closer and touched Eric on top of his head. Eric slaps her hand away.
EOM: Dude, Poe, I told you to keep your little crazy bitch away from me…
Poe comes up behind Selena, touching her shoulders and moving her away from Eric as she pouts. Poe glares at Eric for a moment before turning to face the camera.
Poe: Selena, my goddess, please introduce the next match.
SG: Up next is Drink & Destroy versus Outback Jack & LD Williams. Hey, didn’t LD help you & Uncle Moose attack Run DEA?
Poe: Yes he did indeed. ‘Twas a very fun day.
T: Uncle Moose???
SG: This match is gonna be brutal.
Selena smiles wide.
Poe: Enjoy the match…
fadeDRINK & DESTROY vs. FEAR USDonnybrook at the bell. Stank and Jack pair up, as Capslock puts the beats on Williams. They switch up, and Stank kicks LDW around. OBJ goes to FFC's eyes and dumps him to the floor. Some double teaming on Stank, but Stank takes both guys down with a double clothesline. Capslock back in and D&D pinball both guys around the ring with lefts and rights until Williams and Jack stumble into each other, and stereo big boots send both to the floor. Stank and Lock follow out, but Fear Us is playing possum, and Jack sucker punches Stank while Williams clips Lock's knee. They go to work on D&D on the floor while referee Hightower tries to gain control of the match. Jack sends Stank hard to the apron and suplexes him in the aisle way. Williams slams Lock's knee off the stairs, then stomps it on the concrete for good measure. Jack up slowly after selling the suplex, but he walks into a goozle by Stank. To his feet, but Stank kicks him in the knee, then tosses him into the crowd. Williams tries to drag FFC into the ring, but Lock kicks him away with the free leg. Williams comes back at him, but Capslock backdrops him over the top rope and to the floor. Hightower starts a count, but Capslock shoves him away and follows back out to the floor. Jack pulls Stank back over the rail and into the aisle, but Stank blocks his attempt and drops OBJ across the guardrail. FFC military press slams Williams on the floor, and they set up for the DUI on Jack ON THE CONCRETE! But referee Hightower interjects and demands everyone get back to the ring. Stank gets in Hightower's face, and that allows Williams to sneak back up from behind and nail Stank with a high knee to the back, sending Stank caroming into the ref, and Hightower's seen enough and calls for the bell. The two teams brawl up the aisle way and to the back as the match is thrown out.
WINNER in 6:30: NO CONTEST
Poe stands before the camera. He slowly opens his leather duster to reveal his Trio Championship belt. As he does that, Selena crawls under his legs and kneels on her knees in front of him ala the Beautiful People. Selena points behind her to the belt, never taking her eyes off the camera.
Tytan comes up behind Poe, draping the Trios belt over his shoulder, and then crossing his arms in a pose. Eric comes up behind Poe to the other side, also draping the belt over his shoulder, but looking bored.
Poe: We are Gods & Monsters, the Trios Champions. Tonight, we will defeat IHOP for the third time in a week. Let’s go boys.
The leave with Selena in tow, but Poe turns, places both hands on Selena’s shoulders, stopping her.
Poe: You need to stay here to introduce the next match little one.
Selena pouts and jumps on the couch that Tytan was lying on, with her arms and legs crossed.
SG: *pouty* I never get to have any fun.
One of Tytan’s Roman girls holds some grapes over Selena.
SG: Yes please!
fade<we cut to the ring expecting a match, but things are never what we expect in the OOWF>
*"The Tower" by Ice T comes on the PA system. Eric O'Mac, in wrestling gear, comes down the ramp, holding some flowers. He rolls in the ring, and grabs a mic to address the crowd.*
Eric: You know I come out here week after week - you people have made it pretty clear how you feel about me - what's that word you call me?
*The crowd starts chanting "ASSHOLE...ASSHOLE!" Eric smiles as he puts his hand up.*
Eric: Yeah, you've made it pretty clear how you feel about me, but just for the record - just so you know, I feel the EXACT same way about EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
*The crowd boos. Loudly.*
Eric: So now that we've cleared that up - you know how I feel, I know how you feel - I'd like to ask ya a little question.
I'd like to know... I'd like to know how all of you feel about my beautiful bride Fiona Michelle. I'm a little bit confused about it because through the grapevine, on the internet message boards, I've been reading what you people have been saying. Oh yes, you people began to call her things like...slut...skank...whore...you know you people make me sick!
*More booing.*
Eric: It never ceases to amaze me how you can kill something beautiful - talk about something beautiful, and pure - and you people crap all over her! And the fact of the matter is, you're wrong. And the reason I know you're wrong, Fiona Michelle is no slut, oh no because Eric O'Mac would never marry a slut, at least not intentionally. I mean, marrying a slut or something like that, and somebody slips a mickey in your drink, and you get all sloshed, and you end up at some cheap chapel somewhere, passed out, and have a shotgun - no, I mean a shot glass wedding. And that is not Fiona Michelle. She is no slut. But now, she sends me annulment papers. You can't imagine my surprise - this hit me completely out of nowhere! I NEVER saw this coming. Annulment papers. And the truth of the matter is, I can't help but blame YOU for all of this! We were two kids in love! And again, you people have to kill something beautiful. It's you that made this happen, with your chants of 'Slut.' You drove her to this. She couldn't take it. So she comes to me, and dammit - she wants out.
*Eric starts breaking into tears that are obviously fake.*
Eric: She wants to call it quits. I mean, I guess if that's what she wants - I mean, hell, I can't do it by myself - I mean, I know how I feel about her, and I know she loves me, I mean - God, there's just so much passion there, but I'm not gonna hold it together by myself...I mean, it's not like, I mean - the kids'll get over it - oh right, we don't have any kids, but who gives a crap anyways, right? So, if that's what she really wants, then I've come to the conclusion that...Fiona Michelle...come out here and I'll sign these papers if that's what you really want. Come on out - and I'll sign these annulment papers - and I'll let you walk away from our wedded bliss."
* Fiona Michelle Denton walks out to no music with an angry face. Eric O'Mac is faking his sad, as he hands Fiona Michelle the flowers when she enters the ring. Fiona Michelle throws the flowers into the crowd, to Eric's surprise.*
Eric: Fiona, I understand you're a Denton, you're hot-headed - but, you know I called you out here with all intents and purposes of signing these annulment papers..."
*Eric continues to talk while checking out Fiona's ass...*
Eric:...but now that I get a look at you standing out here, I'm ... startin' to get all warm and fuzzy inside - especially from certain angles! Fiona, you don't know how much you mean to me - I mean, it just won't be the same without you in my life! How can I kick your friend's ass without you sitting there watching? Who can I get in their face and laugh to, if not you? I mean, Fiona...YOU ... complete ... ME!
*The crowd starts their asshole chant, yet again.*
Eric: You know what I'm saying? You complete me. And Fiona Michelle, I, I just - I can't sign these - I just - I can't find it in myself to do it.
*Fiona grabs the mic.*
FMD: I'm tired of your games you insincere son of a BITCH.
*Eric has a shocked look on his face.*
FMD: I hope Amnesiac kicks your ass tonight!
*Fiona Michelle Denton steps out of the ring and heads up the ramp, dropping the microphone. Eric starts to walk after her...but he's taken down from behind by the Amnesiac! Amnesiac starts punching Eric, Eric is trying to cover up, but Amnesiac has a clear advantage...until Poe and Tytan come down the ramp and pull Amnesiac off Eric! But IHOP aren't far behind....the referees split up the two sides, send them to their respective corners....and ring the bell! The Trios match is underway!*GODS & MONSTERS and ERIC O’MAC vs. IHOP & THE AMNESIAC – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title MatchIHOP and the Amnesiac, accompanied by the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, come down the aisle first. Amnesiac looks dejected, Skurge looks pissed, and SYB appears to be talking to himself. The three men enter the ring and glare up at the entrance as the new champions are introduced. Gods & Monsters and Eric O’ Mac, joined by Selena, pause on the stage and hold up their titles before heading down the aisle. Referee Angelo Barros keeps the challengers in their corner as the champions enter the ring and pose on the turnbuckles. G&M and IHOP leave the ring, and Eric and The Amnesiac start off as Barros calls for the bell.
They circle and lock up, and The Amnesiac snaps off an arm drag. Eric rolls to his feet and walks into a second one, but this time The Amnesiac holds on into an arm bar. Eric works his way to his feet, and The Amnesiac catches him with a knee to the stomach. He tries for a DDT, but Eric shoves him off and levels him with a kick to the head. Eric pulls The Amnesiac to his feet and rocks him with punches, backing him to the ropes. An Irish whip is followed by a beautiful dropkick to the face, and Eric drags him to the corner and tags in Tytan.
Tytan batters The Amnesiac in the corner, then pulls him out and slings him to the ropes, leveling him with the Decapitator. Tytan goes for the Super kick as The Amnesiac gets up, but he ducks it, catching his foot. The Amnesiac twists Tytan’s leg and takes him off his feet, and tries for an ankle lock, but Tytan kicks him off. Tytan rolls to his feet, but The Amnesiac goes to the ropes, where Skurge makes a blind tag, and hits a low tackle on Tytan. Skurge is in right behind him and they each grab a leg and make a wish. Tytan writhes on the mat in pain, and Skurge comes off the ropes with an elbow to the face. He pulls Tytan to his feet, slings him to the ropes, and plants him with a power slam. He hooks the leg, but Poe breaks up the count at two.
SYB storms the ring and tackles Poe, to little effect. Poe lifts SYB in a two handed choke and drives him to the mat. SYB rolls to the outside as Barros sends Poe back to his corner. Skurge is up and pulls Tytan to his feet, but Tytan catches him with an uppercut, following up with a knee to the midsection and running Skurge into the G&M corner. Tytan reaches to tag Poe, but SYB yanks Poe’s legs out from under him, and Poe slams chin first into the apron. Tytan lunges at SYB, which gives Skurge the opportunity to roll him up from behind. Eric breaks it up just before The Amnesiac hits him with a running clothesline that topples both men to the outside.
SYB and The Amnesiac drive Poe headfirst into the ringside barrier. They turn to Eric, and are met with twin low blows. They stumble back, and Poe drops The Amnesiac with a reverse DDT while Eric launches himself from the floor into a flying clothesline on SYB. As the brawl continues on the outside, Skurge and Tytan are dueling with punches inside the ring. Tytan gains the advantage and sends Skurge to the ropes, where Eric casually reaches in and trips him. Tytan pounces, kicking and beating him down before dragging him to the corner. He sets Skurge on the top rope and goes for the Ultimo Ending, but SYB escapes the brawl and darts into the ring, pulling Tytan down. Tytan Gorilla presses SYB and tosses him to the outside, where Poe catches him and turns it into a power slam on the floor. Tytan turns back to the corner and Skurge launches himself off the second rope for a flying clothesline, but Tytan mirrors Poe, turning Skurge’s momentum into a snap powerslam. He covers, and Poe and Eric keep The Amnesiac at bay long enough for Barros to count the three.
WINNERS, and still OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions, in 20:09, Gods & Monsters and Eric O’Mac.
After the match: Eric and Poe re-enter the ring and toss Skurge to the outside. The champions scale the turnbuckles and bask in the crowd’s disgust as Skurge and the Amnesiac, carrying SYB between them, make their way to the back.
Selena is still sitting on the couch, being fed grapes. Something signals her.
SG: Oh…
Selena removes a half eaten grape from her mouth and tosses it behind her.
SG: Weren’t my guys great? And did you see Solly’s face? OhmyGod that was awesome!
Someone signals Selena.
SG: Oh, yeah, next up is Chris Cole defending his newly won Onslaught Championship versus the crazy Irishman Seamus McNasty.
Selena laughs.
SG: Seamus is a funny dude. This one time…
Something or someone is signaling Selena.
SG: We don’t have time for that? Aww…it was so funny…
The signals continue. Selena crosses her arms and sits back against the couch.
SG: Fine…enjoy the match. *Mutters* It was a funny story…
fadeCHIRS COLE vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchSterling Glaw is YOUR referee!
Seamus out first to a strong reaction. He salutes the crowd and enters the ring, immediately turning back to the entrance before Cole's music even hits. Cole marches down, showing off the title - and grimacing slightly when he sees Glaw in the ring. He enters the ring but never takes his eyes of Seamus. Glaw takes the belt, looks it over almost forlornly before holding it up to the crowd. (Russ: "Is he talking to the Onslaught title?" Razz: "It's his favorite next to the world title - bet he's still sad that it had to spend time bein defended on anything BUT pure rules"). Glaw hands over the belt and calls for the bell.
Slow circling to start. The two lock up dead center of the ring, and neither seem to get headway immediately. Cole slips Seamus's head into a headlock, cinching it hard. Seamus flails, but is able to steady his feet and shove Cole to the ropes. Cole slams shoulders with Seamus- and Seamus GLARES back at Cole. "DO IT AGAIN!" he screams, and Cole does - to the same result! Seamus is grinning huge now, and Coles third attempt gets him running the ropes a second time before he's tripped with a drop toe hold! Seamus going early for the IRISH CAR BOMB but Cole wriggles free before the crossface is completely applied. The two stand and face off again, Cole's expression darkening and Seamus' smile fading. Again they lock up, this time Seamus with the advantage as he gets Cole's arm in an arm wringer, twisting tight and chaining into a hammerlock. Cole angrily slaps his shoulder til Seamus shoves Cole to the ropes face first, staggering him and letting Seamus give him a release German suplex. Early cover is a 1 count, Cole to his feet holding the back of his head and staring daggers into Seamus. Cole lunges with a closed fist and gets a warning from Glaw. Seamus smirks at the warning and SLAPS Cole. Cole SLAPS Seamus back and gets in Glaw's face that it's the ONSLAUGHT title and not a PURE RULES title. Seamus charges but ends up running over Glaw in the process! REF BUMP! Seamus is too busy pounding the daylights out of Cole to notice. He hauls Cole up for the BLACK AND TAN, but Cole slips free, wheels Seamus around and slams him to the mat with a PIVOT SPINEBUSTER! Glaw has fallen out of the ring at this point and Cole calls to the ramp to send in another referee. Cole backs away from the ropes and gets snagged by a recovering Seamus! BLACK AND TAN!! Glaw's still out and Davis Hightower is hurrying down the ramp, but he gets there for a two count only! Seamus is furious but can only blame himself for taking Glaw out to begin with. Cole is still groggy so Seamus drags him off the mat and throws him into the corner - hard. Seamus stomps over and tries to put Cole up on the ropes to finish him off with a Celtic Cross, but Cole starts to struggle! The two trade punches before Cole launches off the rope with a Tornado DDT! Seamus is stunned, and Cole sees his chance! He drags the bigger man to the center of the ring and applies his RAISED TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, which doesn't wake Seamus immediately. Once he takes a couple of knees to the neck he screams and curses, but can't move, and is forced to tap out.
WINNER in 14:49 and STILL YOUR OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION - Chris Cole
After the match, Hightower helps Glaw to the back. Glaw does not look pleased.
Poe, Tytan, and Eric O’Mac re-enter the studio to a jumping and clapping Selena.
SG: You guys were awesome yay!
Tytan passes her towards his couch.
T: Thanks Selena…couldn’t ask for a better welcome back.
Tytan winks and Poe, who just stares back, and then shakes his head.
SG: You too Eric, you did good.
EOM: Yeah I know…
Eric looks at Poe.
EOM: Thanks Selena.
Poe: Your wife would be proud.
EOM: Don’t push it.
Tytan takes his reclining position on the couch, the Roman girls continuing with the grape feeding.
T: Time to move on to bigger and better things.
SG: Like Phantos & Lucios? They’re up next.
T: Are they?
Tytan gets off the couch and walks up to the camera.
T: Listen up you punk ass bitches. That little incident in the locker room? That was just the beginning. You saw what we did to IHOP and the Amnesiac. We’re gonna revel in the pain we’re gonna cause you. You’re gonna want to retire from this business forever. We’re gonna…
Tytan is stopped by Poe’s hand on his shoulder.
Poe: Phantos & Lucios defend the World Tag Team Titles against the Chickenshit Heels…next.
T: They’re gonna be our belts…
SG: Haha you said shit!PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchDavis Hightower is Our referee.
Phantos and Johnny Adrenaline lock up to begin with. Adrenaline powers Phantos into the corner, and blisters him with several Chop WHOOOOs to the chest. Johnny is pretty proud of himself apparently, as he turns to the crowd and yells “How about that!” The crowd responds in kind. Phantos bull rushes out of the corner and levels Johnny. An Irish whip results in a deep arm drag. Phantos locks in a head scissor and begins to jaw at Attitude Adjuster. “I’m fixing to break his neck again” Capps can’t resist the bait, and tries to get in the ring, drawing Hightower’s attention away from the action. Lucios charges in and stomps away on Adrenaline as Phantos holds him on the mat. Alan is jumping up and down watching his partner being decimated. Davis finally turns around to see Lucios stepping out of the ring. Davis gives him a warning and gets back to the action.
Phantos has thrown Johnny into the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a kick to the gut and a swinging neck breaker for a 2 count. Lucios gets the tag in, and proceeds to stomp a mud hole in Adrenaline, then walks it dry. Johnny low blows Lucios and tries to get to his corner, but Phantos rushes in and drags him back. Hightower proceeds to read Phantos the riot act, while Attitude Adjuster enters the ring with an Unidentified International Object. Alan cracks Lucios over the head with the UIO, and then The Heels set him up for a Double Adrenaline Rush! But Hightower turns in time and sees Capps in the ring and chases him out. Lucios gets to his knees while Johnny expresses his displeasure to Davis. Lucios schoolboys Adrenaline for a 2 count. Johnny kicks our hard and both men scramble to their feet.
Capps gets a tag in as Johnny beats Lucios to his feet. Adjuster charges in and hammers Lucios with a double axe handle. Phantos tries to assist, and gets forearm smashed out of the ring. Adjuster hits an atomic drop, and follows it with a short arm clothesline and a DDT. Capps covers, but forgets to hook the leg and Lucios is up before 3. Hightower watches intently as Alan tries to whip Lucios into the corner, but Lucios blocks it and tries a whip of his own. Capps reverses the block, and sends Lucios barreling towards the ropes, into the exact spot where Hightower was standing vigil. The referee takes the full force of momentum from Lucios and tumbles all the way to the floor. Adjuster takes advantage of Lucios’ pause to stare at Davis, and chop blocks him from behind. Rolling knee drops to the injured leg have Lucios howling in pain. Phantos runs in to help, and gets cut off by Adrenaline. Johnny and Phantos tussle in a corner while Alan locks Lucios up in a Figure Four! Lucios tries to reach the ropes, but is too far away. Capps grabs the bottom rope for leverage and really lays it in. Johnny backdrops Phantos out of the ring, then heads to the top rope. Big Splash off the top on to the helpless Lucios! Johnny covers, but Hightower is still on the floor. Johnny pounds the mat 1…2…3, but still no referee.
Suddenly, the crowd begins to buzz. Junior Hale is rushing to ringside! He slides in the ring and counts 1…2........ nothing. Phantos has pulled Hale out of the ring. Hale starts to berate Phantos, but sees Davis on the floor and goes to help him to his feet. The Heels have sent Lucios into the ropes and hit a Flapjack! Johnny hoists Lucios up and Alan goes to give him a Spike Pile driver, but Phantos cracks Johnny from behind with a chair. Capps ducks a chair shot and drop toe holds Phantos, who lands face first on the chair! Hale and Hightower both get back in the ring. Hale grabs the chair and tosses it out of the ring. Davis sends all 4 men into their respective corners. He points at Lucios and Capps and orders them to lock up. Hale drops down to the floor, and it looks like we’ll have 2 officials from here on out!
Capps and Lucios lock up, but Lucios’ leg gives out on him and Alan ends up with a devastating chin lock on Lucios. Lucios tries to power up, but can’t. Capps sends him into the ropes and tries an arm drag, but Lucios blocks it, hip tosses Alan and falls to the mat with him. Lucios crawls to his corner, but gets dragged back to the middle by Adjuster. Tag to Johnny, who drops a couple of quick elbow drops on Lucios. He drags the big man to his feet and dropkicks him into the neutral corner. Johnny goes for a Stinger Splash, but Lucios moves out of the way, stumbles to his corner and tags in Phantos. House of Fire for Phantos as he comes in, pounds on Adrenaline in the corner, floors him with a snap DDT, then runs along the ropes and clotheslines Alan to the floor. Phantos circles around, charges in to spear Johnny, who alertly sidesteps the move, causing Phantos to dive between the turnbuckles and crash into the ring post. Phantos staggers backwards, & Johnny schoolboys him; then he props his feet on the ropes (of course) as Hightower counts 1…2….3! Johnny & Alan start to celebrate, but Junior Hale pulls Hightower aside and tells him about the chicanery. Hightower waves off the pin and both Chickenshits go BATSHIT! Hale and Hightower are both getting their ears filled with obscenities from a different Heel.
Phantos and Lucios have regrouped and they have grabbed their title belts. Capps has grabbed a chair, and Hightower is trying to wrest control of it from Alan. Phantos goes to swing his belt at Johnny, but Hale sees him and puts a stop to it, taking the belt from Phantos. Johnny starts to attack Phantos, and Lucios then comes behind Hale (who had climbed through the ropes with Phantos’ belt) and cracks Johnny in the head with his title. Lucios disposes of the evidence. Phantos drags Johnny into a corner and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Lucios charges across & spears Capps out of camera range. Hightower disposes of Capps’ chair and turns back to the match. He sees Phantos up top& diving off with a Suicide Leg drop on to Adrenaline. Hightower drops down & counts 1…2…3!
WINNERS in 14:26 Phantos & Lucios
Post match, the Heels are screaming down Hale and Hightower, and OOWF security comes to escort the referees to the back. On cue Drink and Destroy come rushing down to take a shot at The Heels. Phantos & Lucios collect their belts and seem to enjoy the show, when they are Pearl Harbored by Fear Us and Gods & Monsters. It takes a rescue effort by Run DEA to get the Champions to the back safely, and OOWF security has its hands full pulling D&D and The Heels apart.
We fade in to Tytan sitting on the couch, his head lowered, shaking his head in disbelief.
T: How the hell do they manage to win these matches?
EOM: They’re good…
Tytan stands.
T: We’re better.
Selena enters the shot holding a jack o lantern in front of her face. She walks up to the camera with it, and then removes it.
SG: Up next Spin Hansen defends his Intercontinental Championship versus…Uncle Moose!!
EOM: Uncle Moose?
Poe: She really likes Moosehead Jack.
T: Wow…I personally can’t stand the dude. But man is he tough. I’ll never forget those matches as long as I live.
EOM: Didn’t Spin win the IC title by defeating you Poe?
Poe: We shall not speak of that again.
EOM: Uh-huh
Poe: Enjoy the match fans.
SG: Get him Moose!!
fadeSPIN HANSEN vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchThe grating sound of "Scarecrow" ushers Moosehead Jack into the arena under a chorus of boos as he slides into the ring and slumps down in the corner awaiting the arrival of the Intercontinental champion, who doesn't disappoint him, who stands at the the top the ramp for a few moments displaying the belt and the increasingly familiar stand DHM written across his fists before charging into the ring! Jack greets him with the same stiff punches at Vahomet enters with as belatedly the bell rings to let us know that we're underway...
Vahomet and MHJ seem content to spend the first minute or so trading punches (with Barros content to not get in their way) until a quick knee lift by the champion gives him advantage enough to roughly throw a doubled-over MHJ into the second turnbuckle shoulder first. A series of stomps have Jack covering up on the mat, leaving him crumpled on the mat as Barros finally asserts himself and moves Vahomet back. The challenger's reprieve is short-lived however, as the champ goes back on the attack grabbing Jack for the mat...only to get vicious face rake for his efforts. Vahomet staggers away trying to clear his vision, and Moosehead Jack capitalizes with a diving chop block that takes Vahomet down to one knee. A standing bulldog takes him all the way down, and Jack moves in on the attack, grinding the champ's face into the canvas. Barros tries to gather control, making a four count of Jack before he finally lets go of Vahomet's head and drives a series of knee drops into the back of the downed man's head.
Vahomet's face is a bloodied mess as MHJ pulls him back up and drags him over the to the ropes, draping his neck across the second rope before sliding out and choking the champion across the rope. Barros gets to three in his count before Vahomet finds a way to break the choke himself, scoring a wild right hook that stuns Jack and moves him back a step as the champion rolls out of the ring. Quick thumb to the eye gives control of the situation back to the challenger, and he sets up for a Russian leg sweep against the rail....But Vahomet quickly buries three elbows into Jack's midsection, breaking the hold and allowing to him to counter with s STROKE IN THE CORNER OF THE RAIL~! Jack hits the round screaming and clutching at his mouth as the blood flows freely out around his fingers as Vahomet stands over him, slapping hands with a few happy (and slightly repulsed) fans before tossing Jack back into the ring.
Barros tries to assess Jack's injuries as Vahomet pulls him up, and Barros' protests give Jack the distraction he needs to launch a quick boot in the champs gut, doubling him over for a lightning fast DDT! Through the mask of blood, Jack looks like he might be smiling a bit he hauls the champ to his feet, and nails ANOTHER DDT! Barros drops to count, but Jack pulls him up again, pins the arm behind behind the head and delivers the...
NO~! Vahomet bull charges Moosehead Jack back into the corner, burying his shoulder into the challenger as he does! You can SEE the air leaving Jack's body as he hits, and Vahomet loads the breathless challenger into the suplex position...Gourdbuster onto the top turnbuckle! Jack looks out, as the former Spin Hansen pulls him roughly off the turnbuckle and pounces, locking on the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot...
And Barros gives barely a look at the unconcious Moosehead Jack before calling for the bell!
WINNER in 12:55 via SUMISSION/STOPPAGE and STILL OOWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION - VAHOMET!
We fade in to Poe, lighting a candle using another one.
Poe: Davin Moreland…the current OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. Seems just like yesterday I was pinning you one, two, three, in the center of the ring. Now…you’re the champ. Interesting turn of events don’t you think?
Selena scoots up to Poe.
SG: Does that make you the champ, Master?
Poe: It may put me in line for a title shot little one, but that time is not tonight. Tonight, Davin Moreland defends his World Heavyweight Title against Concrete Takaken Gryphon.
T: You mean that masked moron that thinks he’s a superhero?
EOM: That masked moron spent time in WWE. Show some respect.
T: You? Preaching about respect?
Poe: Davin, I respect you more than most in this company. But remember, I’ll be seeing you soon, I’m sure. Namesdeh.
fadeDAVIN MORELAND vs. CONCRETE TG – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match“With Jupiter in Mind blares over the PA system and Concrete TG steps from behind the curtain and basks in the cheers of his loyal fans. Crete is trying to regain the championship he lost over a year ago to Stank at Hell on Earth III. Crete makes his way to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope. He nods to referee Angel Barros and heads to the corner to wait. The OOWF world heavyweight champion Davin Moreland is announced next, and he comes out and immediately gets booed out of the building. Moreland looks satisfied with the hate, and he heads to the ring, surprisingly alone this week. Davin takes his time getting there, and gets pelted with some garbage for his delay. The crowd erupts into a DA-VIN SUCKS chant. Not bad, he has all the heat he needs and he hasn’t even stepped into the ring yet. Moreland slowly climbs between the ropes and looks at Crete with a bemused look on his face, Crete gets a grim look of determination and finishes his stretches. Davin hands the title off to Barros, and makes it perfectly clear that the title will be leaving the ring with him at the end of the night. Barros holds the greatest prize in wrestling above his head and calls for the bell, this one is officially underway.
Moreland slowly walks to the center of the ring and meets Crete there. A discussion starts between the two of them, and we hear Davin remind Crete that he took off for McMahonland while HE stayed there and single handedly won the war all by himself with no help. Crete appears to disagree with his assessment of the situation, and soon words turn to shouts, which quickly escalates into fists. Moreland takes a wild swing at Crete but Crete catches his arm and turns it into a hammerlock, Moreland tries to grab Crete’s head, but in this case Davin’s height works against him. Moreland tries to reach between his legs and sweep Crete’s feet, but he can’t reach him. Finally frustrates, Davin backs Crete into the corner to force the break. Crete relents, and it appears that Davin will give the break, but before he steps away from Crete, he nails Crete in the jaw with an elbow, then turns and hits him with rapid fire rights and lefts until Crete slumps to the canvas. Moreland pulls Crete up and buries his shoulder into Crete’s midsection, one, twice, then goes for the third, but Crete hits Davin with a knee lift that stuns the champion and sends him staggering back out of the corner. Crete charges, but Davin nails Crete with a power slam, and covers, but Crete rolls his shoulder before the ref even gets down to the canvas. Davin pulls Crete into a sitting position and locks him in a head lock, butting pressure on Crete’s neck, and trying to cut off the air supply. Several times Davin reaches back and gets his feet on the second rope while the referee was unaware, each time he would remove his feet just before he got caught. The crowd starts to cheer for Crete and he powers up to his feet and frees himself from the hold with several shots to the midsection. Crete is about to run the ropes when Davin grabs him by the head and slams him backward down to the mat. Moreland hits the ropes and tries a knee drop, but Crete rolls out of the way and Davin drives his knee into the mat, and howls in pain.
Crete is quickly to his feet and he waits for Moreland to stand up, then lands several stiff kicks to the back of Moreland’s knee, then grabs Moreland in a side waist lock and takes him over with a side suplex, dropping Moreland on the back of his head, folding him in half. Moreland slithers under the bottom rope and tries to clear his head, but as soon as he stands up, Crete grabs him and pulls him back to the apron, and brings him back into the ring the hard way, with a vertical suplex. Crete shows surprising power by keeping the much larger Moreland in the air for several seconds before crashing to the mat. Crete immediately springs to his feet and hits the ropes, spring boarding off the bottom rope into a perfect moon sault, covering and getting a two count from Barros.
The match continues to go back and forth, neither man is able to keep the advantage for long. After nearly thirty minutes of action, Moreland sidesteps a Crete charge and sends Crete face first into the ring post, from inside the ring. Crete falls to the floor, and by the time the camera gets there we see that Crete has been split wide open. Davin immediately takes advantage of this and leaves the ring and POUNDS the cut under Crete’s eye with punches, opening the gash more and leaving Crete a bloody mess. Moreland rolls Crete back into the ring and spends several minutes torturing Crete, trying to get the pin, but each time Crete somehow manages to roll his shoulder. Moreland’s frustrations are finally starting to show. He shoves Crete in to the corner and sets him on the top rope, then climbs up there with him and hooks Crete for a superplex. Davin tries to hit the move, but Crete holds on for dear life and blocks the move. Crete hammers Moreland with several stiff shots to the face, then slams him between the eyes with a head but! Moreland slowly falls off the top rope and hits the mat like a fallen oak tree. Crete climbs to the top rope and gives a quick glance to the heavens and hits a FROG SPLASH! One, Two, Thr….NO! Moreland manages to roll his shoulders. Crete and Davin keep going back and forth, we are over forty-five minutes into the match now and both men are exhausted. Crete grabs Moreland and slowly pulls him off the mat and grabs Moreland for a scorpion death drop, but Davin spins around and shoves Crete off to the ropes, on the rebound he grabs him and tries A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Crete grabs him and takes him over with a German suplex, bridges and gets two! Crete grabs Davin and sends him to the ropes and catches Moreland with a knee and tries a suplex, but Moreland slips over his shoulder and lands on his feet behind him, but his knee buckles and Moreland drops to one knee in pain. The referee immediately steps in to check and is about to make the dreaded “X” sign. Crete looks at the referee, and in that brief second, Davin strikes, leaping from his kneeling position and DRIVING Crete to the mat with A REALLY GOOD DIAMNOD CUTTER! Davin covers, and hooks both legs, and JUST gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 49:09 – Davin Moreland
We fade in to Selena sitting on Poe’s lap, feeding him grapes. They look at the camera.
Poe: I hope you enjoyed this special Halloween edition of Midweek Mayhem.
Voices off camera: Trick or treat!!
Camera moves to a bunch of kids holding out bags, waiting for candy. Selena rushes over to them, joining them, and holding out her hands.
Poe, Tytan, and Eric O’Mac walk up to the kids.
T: Happy Halloween kids. Be safe.
EOM: Kids shouldn’t be watching this stuff anyway…
fadeThanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF November PPV, Live November 30th from Springfield, Maryland! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! November 5th from Springfield, South Carolina!
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
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Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!<Thanks to BC for writing the commentary between matches, great job!>
