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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:06:56 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live, From Springfield, Virginia
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Davin Moreland vs. Stank
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Spin Hansen vs. Eric O’Mac
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Phantos & Lucios vs. Gods & Monsters
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Chris Cole vs. Alexander Darling
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] IHOP & The Amnesiac vs. Seamus McNasty, Bryce Larson & Damon Wrath
The Chickenshit Heels vs. Fear Us Tyson Kincaid vs. Moosehead Jack Concrete TG vs. Firewoman Alexander & Alexis Darling vs. Carl From Fresno & Justin Sane DH Magnusson vs. Jobber (pronounced Ho-Bear) McJobbsalot
Card subject to hokie attack
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:08:07 GMT -5
(Lola stands outside the G&M Locker room waiting for someone namely Tytan to appear. And like it was planned and not trying to piss off KayFabe he shows up.)
Lola: Tytan I am sorry about you guys giving up the titles, do you care to comment?
Tytan: Actually Lola I am pissed right now. We have some issues that need to be resolved.
Lola: Especially before your Tag-Title Shot next week.
Tytan: Is it another damn triple threat match?
Lola: No. One on One.
Tytan: It's about freaken time. Now you are right, it's time to take care of some business. But I will say this...Mayhem. The Gods and Monsters will reign supreme. Phantos and Lucios prepare to meet your maker because you will be our sacrifice. Now excuse me Lola but there is family business to discuss.
Lola: Thanks for your time Tytan.
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:08:53 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack is standing looking at the lineup next week when Firewoman walks up next to him>
FW: You have Kincaid next week
MHJ: You have Crete next week
<long pause between the two of them>
FW: We should talk
MHJ: Coffee?
FW: Let's go
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:09:26 GMT -5
We catch up with IHOP after the match. All three of them are still clutching their titles tightly to themselves. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and Fezzik are following along behind them. Suddenly, in the hallway in front of them, step out two men in black suits. They appear to be holding guns.
SYB: What the fuck?
MiB#1: You're going to be coming with us.
Skurge: What? Why? What's going on here?
MiB#2: We understand that you are going to be involved in a major extraterrestrial incident sometime this evening. You need to come with us if you want to survive.
Suddenly, a phone booth materializes beside the ever-growing crowd. Stepping out of the booth are Michael Hodge and Fred Solomon.
MH: WAIT! Don't take them! We know what's going to happen.
MiB#1: And who are you?
MH: I'm Michael Hodge, er, well... I guess I'm Skurge.
The men in black look back and forth between Hodge/Solomon and SYB/Skurge, disbelievingly.
MiB#1: But we have orders from our higher-ups to take these three men, their womanservant-
TLTDM: Their WHAT?!
MiB#1: -and their giant into custody.
FS: Okay... who are you gonna believe. Your higher-ups, or two guys who just stepped out of a time-traveling phone booth that just randomly materialized in front of you?
MiB#2: I've seen weirder.
Hodgey shrugs.
MH: I dunno... if I were you, I'd be a little freaked out.
FS: Oot.
MH: Oh yeah. Oot. But seriously... come with us. We'll show you the future, and we'll show you what's going to happen tonight, and you can see it all for yourself.
MiB#1: You want us to get into that phone booth.
MH: Yes.
MiB#1: With the two of you.
MH: Yes.
MiB#1: Uh... are you guys gay?
FS & MH: NO! Where do you people keep getting this idea?!
MiB#2: Alright... Johnson, let's go with them. It couldn't hurt. You five stay right here, okay?
MiB#1: Yeah, we'll be right back.
The four men get into the phone booth. Fred dials some numbers on the phone, and the phone booth dematerializes into some sort of time tunnel...
...just to reappear a second later. The four men step out, and now they're all wearing grass skirts, coconut bras and they're all carrying giant pink tropical fruity drinks. The two (formerly) men in black look completely plastered, while Solly and Hodgey look completely sober.
Skurge: What the hell?
FS: Dude, I forgot the phone number to get us back to the future. So I took us across town to a RAGING Tiki Bar party, and got them wasted. They don't wanna take you guys into custody anymore... and in fact, are questioning their loyalty to the shadow government organization that they're working for.
AMN: Damn.
MH: Our work here is done.
With that, Solly and Hodgey step back into the booth and it disappears again. The two men in black collapse to the floor, unconscious.
Overhead, a loud buzzing noise can be heard. As the camera pans out, we see a large UFO flying overhead.
*FADE TO BLACK*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:09:49 GMT -5
Bryce Larson is looking down, checking his cell phone
BL: Six man tag team match? Who? I don't even know these people. But I can win a title? To go along with the 9 I like to wear around? Sweeeeeeeeeeet!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:10:13 GMT -5
<The Philly Satanic rolls Jessup McCullum up for the pin...
1. 2.. THREE!
WINNERS in 9:01 ... the tag team of THE PHILLY SATANIC and DR. STONE COLE DEATH VON ERIC!!
DSCDV picks up Jessup McCullum and tosses him out of the ring, to mild booing from the crowd. The Philly Satanic runs over and knocks Jessup's tag partner, Kiwi Joe, off the apron. The heels pose and gesture to the crowd.>
Russ - Well that concludes our house show broadcast. I'm Rus--
<Russ is interrupted by Nonpoint's "Skin" blasting over the loudspeakers, and out, at the top of the ramp, walks Stank. The crowd ERUPTS in cheers as Stank strolls purposefully down the ramp, towards the ring.>
Razz - Well... here comes the pain!
Russ - Perhaps one of the greatest champions the OOWF has ever produced... definite future hall of famer Lucas Mann, who we all know as Stank, has come out here... unscheduled.
Razz - Are you hearing this Russ?
Russ - The crowd here in Petersburg, VA has come unglued. The former World Champion is walking to the ring and it would seem business is definitely about to pick up.
<The jobber heels stand their ground and decide try and make a name for themselves by double teaming Stank as he slides in under the bottom rope. DSCDV and TPS pick Stank up and whip him towards the ropes! On the rebound, Stank delivers a VICIOUS DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! that turns both opponents inside out! Stank grabs The Philly Satanic... STANK-U!! Stank then turns his attention to DSCDV who punches at the bigger man's chest. Stank stands and absorbs the impact before HEADBUTTING DSCDV to the mat. Stank lifts the jobber up... TRIPLE STANKBOMB!! onto Cole Von Eric's tag team partner!!! The crowd goes batshit insane at the unexpected arrival of the big man. Stank rolls and kicks both victims out the ring and is handed a mic. After the crowd settles a bit Stank speaks.>
"I'm going to make this short and sweet. Run DEA... the time for your reckoning is at hand. I won't bother running down the laundry list of offense you've gleefully committed against me and mine. My partner lies in a hospital... and it's become clear to me, that Run DEA is the new cancer in the OOWF. It is my personal mission... to excise that cancer... to end each and every one of you... I don't care if it kills me... You've now become my cause. You've now become my mission in life. I've never failed to complete a mission here in the OOWF... and I'm not about to start now. Moreland... that title is coming back to me... and I can think of NO one I would rather take it from... than you... Oh and by the way... the knee is just fine."
<Stank removes the knee brace he's been wearing for months since his last match against the current OOWF World Champion.>
"I'm going to leave this here. Believe me... you will be needing it more than I after Mayhem."
<Stank drops the mic and the knee brace, and leaves both in the middle of the ring, as his music fires up, to the raucous cheers from the crowd. Stank strolls up the ramp and behind the curtain, the OOWF logo fading onto screen, the camera fading out to conclude the show.>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:10:26 GMT -5
"The Main Event" Chris Cole walks up to Bryce Larson back stage.
Cole: So you're the Indy guy, right?
Larson: That's me. I'm going to add gold this week to my 9 other titles.
CC: Pfff, the Trios titles? Those were added because people bitched they needed "something to do". They are basically meaningless.
BL: What about your hardware you carry?
CC: The hardware I carry is the OOWF Onslaught Title. It is a title that should be right up your alley. Pure Rules, Champ loses title on DQ or Countout, no outside intereference is tolerated. The only problem I see for you is the 15 minute time limit for Mayhem and the 30 minute limit on PPV. I hear you Indy guys don't even get started until 35 minutes into a match.
BL: Ha, ha.
CC: I defend the title every single week. I'm gettingt tired of kicking Alexander Darling's ass each week. So after I make it 3 for 3 this week maybe you can try and earn yourself a shot at a real title.
BL: You better be careful what you wish for.
CC: Good luck.
BL: You too.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:11:03 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling are LAYING~! on the bed in Davin's Suite, watching (presumably) OOWF-TV*
SD: I'm bored.
DM: It's Springfield, VA. Of course you're bored. There's nothing here.
SD: Even OOWF-TV is boring. Stank is boring.
DM: Stank IS Boring. That's why making him look like a jackass was so fun.
SD: You're not supposed to be bored with him; you're supposed to be scared of him.
DM: I am?
SD: Yeah. He killed some poor unfortunate local jobbers and took his knee-brace off.
DM: THIS passes for scary now?
SD: He's all "intense" and whatnot.
DM: Oh. Ok. So I'm scared then?
SD: At least pretend to be scared. Humor the poor guy.
DM: Hmm. Ok. How about this...Stank, you might scare me; but you can't scare everyone, so for them...the PEOPLE...I will hit you so hard that I will hit you very hard.
SD: That. Was. Pathetic.
DM: Eh. I tried, babe.
SD: I know. Can we go?
DM: Go? Where?
SD: I dunno, DC? There's gotta be something going on up there.
DM: If we take the helicopter we could be at the Pats game tonight.
SD: Shit, that'll work. Let me go find Alex, and I'll tell him.
DM: Why?
SD: Oh, I ALWAYS tell Alex we're going. I just don't tell Alexis. Fuck her.
DM: You should be nicer to her.
SD: So should you.
DM: Me? I AM nice.
SD: Uh-huh. Lemme go find Alex.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:11:38 GMT -5
*We are LIVE! At Minges Coliseum on the campus of East Carolina University in Greenville, NC!" *A mixed reaction as Eric O'Mac comes down the ramp, wearing designer jeans and a gray t-shirt, combined to go with his custom made purple Oakleys.* *He rolls into the ring, which is set up in talk show fashion. Two sofa chairs, expensive, set up across form each other - and something that looks a lot like the Jeritron 5000 - only better. Eric grabs a microphone and takes a seat.* Eric: Ladies and gentlemen, OOWF fans watching around the world, Rick Scaia was being truthful when he said that he would not play favorites based on who was for him or against him during the Uncivil War in the OOWF. You see, as part of his agreement, he has done quite a few things that...let's see, how do we say this....oh yes! "Sparkle" with me. *The fans kind of murmer at the mention of another wrestler's catchphrase while Firewoman has a heartattack backstage. Not really, but I'm sure she's pissed.* Eric: You see, Rick has been laying down the law! He's suspended people! He's fined people! He's made every match mean something! But the thing that is more important than all of that is that he has given me....MY OWN SHOW. So, I welcome you to the first edition of 15 MINUTES OF FAME WITH ERIC O'MAC! *Fans cheer. I mean, why not?* Eric: And you see, as part of my contractual obligation, even though the OOWF is doing it's "OOWF Does Springfield" Tour, I get to pick the town, the arena, where the show takes place and I thought..."Well, I'm in my home state of North Carolina..." *Home state pop.* Eric: And we're traveling up to Virginia, but I don't have to be there until next week, so I figured I'd stop in here at the ol' alma mater... *Big pop.* Eric: So, later on tonight, we're going to have us an old fashioned indy show...but FIRST, let's look ahead to Mayhem which is live in Springfield, Virginia! *The card appears on the Erictron 6000 - well, at least a part of the card. That's been altered.* Eric: OK, pay no attention to that first match. You see, since becoming OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Davin Moreland has been boring more people than a John McCain speech and nobody wants to see him wrestle - it's plain and simple! No, the match that is going to thrill you, the match that is going to ENTERTAIN you...the match that is going to steal the show is the one that was circled by my trustly little highlighter! You see, and this is something that I wil address at a later point tonight, for the past year, I've been consumed. Consumed by hatred, by dominance, by control, by power! All without realizing that the only reason I'm here is WRESTLING and ENTERTAININ'! *Cheers?* Eric: So, Spin Hansen, you tough bastard, we've fought before, we've had battles this summer, and all throughout my career we've thought - I tell you this - so you can get ready. If you thought I was insane this summer - if you thought I was a tough match all throughout my career - you havent seen a damn thing yet, Spin. So come ready. Put on your little face paint, drink your beers, listen to your Jonas Brothers, do what EVER it is you have to do to get ready for this match, because if you aren't ready? *Eric takes off his sunglasses.* Eric: I'll have the last laugh. *Eric puts the sunglasses back on.* Eric: Alright, as is the case with 15 Minutes of Fame, we will be having a guest every week. Now...seeing how this is the first show...I thought....why not bring in a WRESTLING LEGEND! *Cheers.* Eric: Not only a legend in wrestling, but another East Carolina graduate! *Cheers.* Eric: And that person is........ MY.........DAD.......... VINCENT......KENNEDY..........MCMAHON! *The OOWF fans are in shock as the rumors are true - Eric O'Mac's father is none other than Vince McMahon. McMahon power walks down the aisle and rolls in the ring. He shakes Eric's hand and is handed a microphone by a stagehand.* Vince: What do you think of MY SON ERIC? *Mixed reaction.* Eric: Alright, I was hoping I could have you, Hunter, and Stephanie here, but with Stephanie in Stamford and Hunter overseas, I guess I'll just have to make due with you. So...my first question is...where have you been? Vince: What are you talking about? Eric: It's a quite simple question, Dad, but to be honest, it can also be a bit confusing. So, I'll start off with....this past Sunday. Where were you? Vince: I couldn't get out of Stamford long enough. Eric: I see. So, it's my family's idea to marry some broad, but they can't be there for me when I get my comeuppance. I see. Vince: Eric, you know that we have Jerry working on that case - in fact, he thinks he can get the charges thrown out because of fraud - he may be able to get the marriage annulled for you! Eric: That's great, and I fully plan on getting that marriage annulled, but there is more. Vince: More what? Eric: I came back to the OOWF originally for you. You wanted me to take over so you can consolidate power in the OOWF. You hired away the OOWF's top star, only to fire him, and his career hasn't been the same sense. I started a war to fuck up this roster, making a takeover easy - only it didn't work, and I'm fucking back to sqaure one. Vince: Well, Eric: Nope, there's more. Vince: More? Eric: Yeah, we all know about the Puerto Rico debacle, and we all know that's why Carlito will never get a fair shake in the WWE, but let's go back further. Where were you? I didn't realize who my dad was until my mom died. Vince: Now you wait just a damn second. I can see where this is going, and I took your ungrateful ass in. I sent you through school, I paid for your training as a wrestler, damnit. You owe me. Eric: I disagree. You see, you can't STAND IT when some one goes against your authority. It eats alive at you. Well.....DAD. Listen closely. All of this WWE bullshit - I'm sick of it. Vince: !!!! Eric: I'm sick of having WWE wrestlers hang around here and diluting our product. I'm sick of taking direction from an egomaniac, I'm sick of "like father, like son." You see, Dad, this is your first OOWF apperance - and by God, it's going to be your last. Because, quiet frankly, I'm tired of being held back by the politics, by the secret agendas. I just want to wrestle and I just want to be the best. That's all. And that includes cutting you out. Vince: You'll pay for this! Eric: Dad, haven't you always said he who laughs last, laughs loudest? *Before Vince can respond, Eric grabs him and DELIVERS THE SMACKDOWN! Vince is down and Eric grabs the mic.* Eric: HA! *Eric's new theme music (whatever it turns out to be) comes on and Eric walks up the steps, a changed man.* *Fade out*.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:12:12 GMT -5
Firewoman is LIMPING~! after her match with Spin. She gets to the training room about the same time as Lucky.
FW: What is it? I'm busy!
L: Well, the ninja cams are here....comments, etc.... here, you want me to--
FW: I can do it myself. [She snatches the icebag rudely out of the trainer's hands and applies it to her knee.] Get it over with Lucky, I'm in no mood.
L: Well, you had another match with Spin, but it ended in a double count-out.
FW: Yes, well, I'm making progress. Last time we met, he won, despite his broken nose. Taking him to a double count-out.... I'll accept that until we get our rematch next week, when I'll make him wish--
L: Oh...about that. I have the run sheet for next week.
Firewoman takes it and looks at it.
FW: Hm...well, isn't that interesting...
L: Interesting? You don't get a rematch, you get a midcard with Gryfon, and all you have to say is "interesting?"
FW: What did you expect?
At that moment, Eric O' Mac walks through the room, overhearing their conversation
EoM: HA!
FW: What was that for?
EoM: You don't get a title shot next week. I DO!!! HA!
FW: Yeah. Say, how's the Mrs?
Eric is clearly pissed off about this whole thing.
EoM: You know, just shut up. And don't think I didn't hear that reference to my family in your Highlight Reel segment. You know nothing about my family.
FW: Oh...don't I?
The two stare at each other for a very long time. Lucky and the medical staff begin to get uncomfortable.
EoM: That's the interesting thing about the past. Everyone's got one. And usually? It's all about knowing the right rocks to turn over.
FW: Your point?
EoM: Just that, you know....just because there's smoke, doesn't mean there's a fire.
Now Eric O' Mac has clearly hit a nerve
EoM: Yep, you never know who could show back up. In fact, the whole thing could be down right explosive. HA!
Eric O' Mac leaves, all smirky. Firewoman hops down off the table and goes into the hallway, to finish this conversation in her own way, where she meets up with Moose and they make their coffee plans.
Eric sighs, and comes to a decision about an announcement he must make.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:12:42 GMT -5
(Spin Hansen is sitting at the bar in the Destroyitarium, nursing a beer. Stank sits next to him.)
SH: Boss.
S: Spin. How are you feeling after dealing with Firewoman?
SH: Glad that I was able to put Phantos through a table and pound the everloving shit out of Firewoman. Glad that you're gonna take it to Davin. Glad as hell that Drink & Destroy has one of their own back, but deeply upset that Run DEA took out Capslock. Beer? (He signals the bartender, who slings a cold brew to Spin.)
Stank: About that. Something's different about you, Spin. You're doing great in your matches but you're a robot outside of them. You're not smiling, you're not throwing things, you're not even threatening violent death to Run DEA. you're not... you. You aren't even bringing the crowbar to the ring anymore!
SH: The only emotion that I show is when I feel my fists connecting with someone's face. When I hear the smack of a body hitting the floor. When I feel a knee to my side, knowing that I'm going to return it tenfold.
Stank: That's not the Spin Hansen that joined Drink & Destroy. Well, mostly not. It seems like you're taking that talk that we had too literally.
SH: I had lost my focus. It's here now.
DHM: Listen to me, Spin. You're letting this whole 'Empty Team' thing take over your life. You didn't need it to get the Onslaught title twice. You didn't need it when we took out the Three Piece Set or the Heroes Guild. You didn't need it to get the DDT Ironman Heavy Metal title. And you damn sure didn't need it when you and Mags won the Tag belts three times. Hell, Spin. You didn't even need it when you and Mags BEAT Empty Team.
SH: It is what it is.
Stank: You're scaring me, Spin. I need you at 100 percent. I need you to step up as the second most senior person in Drink and Destroy. Did you listen when Jack told you that you need an outlet for all of this? Didn't you see what it did to GatorBait? Hell, didn't you listen to the guy that you talk to in the boiler room?
SH: (silent)
Stank: Just be careful, OK?
(The scene cuts as D.H. Magnusson enters the Destroyitarium...)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:14:03 GMT -5
[Twenty Minutes later...]
MHJ - So the thing about Crete is... hmmph... well, well.
FW - Well what?
<Firewoman turns to see what Moose is looking at, over her shoulder, just BARELY ducking in time to avoid a STEEL CHAIR to her head, swung by STANK! Firewoman DIVES to the floor, and turns over onto her back crawling backwards away from angry big man... ... make that big MEN, as The Midnight Sons come walking up behind Stank, who still wields the chair.>
FW - Oh shit. This definitely doesn't sparkle with me.
Stank - Moose.
MHJ - Stank.
Stank - Is there going to be a problem here.
MHJ - Not from me, there ain't.
<Stank and The Sons advance on Firewoman, when in walks GM TheRick looking for some coffee from the Dunkin Donuts stand.
GMtR - Well hello. What have we here?
Stank - Rick.
GMtR - Stank. I just saw you on our taped house show. I heard what you had to say, and I see here... you plan on making good on your promise.
<Firewoman has backed up to a nearby wall and pushes her way up, clearly favoring a bad leg.>
Stank - Don't get in my way, Rick. They took out Lock. They damn near took out Mags and they would ha--
GMtR - I'm well aware of all of that. And believe me... I have no intention of standing in your way.
FW - DAMN IT RICK!
GMtR - Let me finish... but I won't allow you to do this out here, Stank. There won't be any--
Stank - Rick I SWEAR to CHRI--
<From the opposite end of the room walks in the Darling siblings (sans Samantha who's off licking Davin's ass on a private jet somewhere.) and the tag team champions Phantos & Lucios.>
Stank - Oh goody. Saves me the trouble.
Spin - I do not aim with my fist. He who aims with his fist has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye. I do not punch with my fist. He who punches with his fist has forgotten the face of his father. I punch with my mind. I do not kill with my fist. He who kills with his fist has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart.
<Everyone turns and stares at Spin Hansen, slightly creeped out.>
Stank - Spin are you here with me?
Alex - So... It looks like we're in for a fight.
Phantos - If it's a fight they want...
GMtR - NOBODY IS FIGHTING!
<Moose, who's been quietly sitting, sipping his coffee, smirks. The smirk grows wider with the arrival of Fear Us!>
LDW - Did somebody say... fight?
GMtR - Alright THAT's IT! Everyone of you get BACK to WHEREVER the HELL it is you came from! If I so much as see any one of you LOOK at the other cross-eyed, I'll suspend the LOT of you! Is that clear!
<A few tense moments pass.>
MHJ - Well... I don't know about the rest of you, but I just came here for coffee.
<Chris Cole and Eric O'Mac wander on to the scene.>
EOM - Someone forget to invite us to the party?... Oh, hi Spin.
<Chris Cole eyes Alexander Darling.>
Alexis - Maybe now is not the time for this.
Stank - Maybe you should shut the fuck up, bitch.
EOM - Ha!
GMtR - That's IT! STANK, IN MY OFFICE... NOW!!
<Stank doesn't move, staring daggers into Phantos and Lucios, who walk over to help Firewoman.>
GMtR - LUCAS!
Stank - Rick we've got a score to settle with these punks... You DON'T want to get in the way of that!
GMtR - (Through gritted teeth.) In. My office. Right. The fuck. now.
<Stank stares down at Rick, then looks up at Run DEA, ignoring the presence of Cole and Eric, for the moment.>
Stank - You tell your boy... I don't expect him to be scared. I want him to continue to be the same, smug, son of bitch he's always been. It will make taking that title from him, all the sweeter. The rest of you continue drinking that Moreland Kool-Aid.
<Rick turns Stank around, takes the steel chair from him, and nudges the big man, toward his office.>
GMtR - I'm serious! All of you clear this room!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:14:11 GMT -5
*Hard Cut to A Private Jet. We see Davin Moreland SITTING~! and is holding something in his hand*
DM: That's right folks...Moreland Kool-Aid now available at OOWF.com!
*Samantha Darling appears slowly from behind Davin, licking her lips.*
SD: *thumbs up* It's Darling Approved!
Voice: Aaaand....Clear.
DM: I'm getting tired of these.
SD: Hey, you're down to like one spot a month now.
DM: It would help if someone else EVER did a live spot...but nooooooo...always me. Mr. Pitchman.
SD: Stop yer bitching. Want a drink?
DM: Am I breathing?
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:14:39 GMT -5
<Moose remains standing there with his coffee as the crowd around him shuffles away. Phantos, Lucios and Alexis help Firewoman to the back, the rest of Drink and Destroy head to the Destroyitarium. Alexander Darling starts to leave, but then turns back to Moose>
AD: What the fuck do you think you are doing?
MHJ: Drinking coffee
AD: Fuck you Moose, you know damn well what I am talking about
MHJ:<smirking> Enlighten me
AD: Whatever you and Fire were talking about, just fucking forget it
MHJ: Or?
AD: Or what I did last time will seem like child's play. Last time I carved my initials into your chest.....
MHJ: Oh, you mean these little scratches? Yeah terrifying stuff. And last I checked, YOU didn't make decisions for Fire, so fuck off Darling
AD:<Clearly beyond annoyed> So fucking help me Moose I will
Voice: You will what?
<just then Williams and Jack walk back into the hallway>
LDW: What were you going to do Darling?
AD: Convenient Moose, your buddies just happen to show up at the right time
MHJ: Gentlemen, it seems that Little Alex was about to kick my ass. You guys wouldn't get involved in that, now would you?
LDW: Oh no
OBJ: Not us
LDW: No way
MHJ: See?
<Alex looks around and decides that now is probably not the best time to start shit>
AD: You just remember that we are DEA, we do what the fuck we want, WHEN the fuck we want.....
OBJ:<belches> That's Australian for "why don't you get the fuck out of here now before someone gets hurt"
<Darling looks around, rage blazing in his eyes, then he smiles>
AD: Sure thing. <looking at Moose> After all, it's over, right Moose?
<Darling turns and walks away, and we fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:15:02 GMT -5
LDW: Looks like you've been stood up by your date. Mind if we join you?
MHJ: Not at all.
LDW(to counter person, because Dunkin doesn't have baristas): Two coffees, please.
OBJ: Leave lots of room in mine.
Counter Person: OK, here's two coffees, one with extra room for milk.
OBJ: Not exactly. *pulls out a flask and pours some whiskey into the cup*
MHJ: You don't look worried about your match with the Heels.
LDW: Well, we're guessing we'll lose.
MHJ: Just when I thought no one in this business could surprise me...
LDW: Well, Mags just got back, and we figure he won't be able to resist running in and killing them.
OBJ: Right, wouldn't surprise me in the least.
MHJ: I suppose so. Of course, a loss would lower your chances of getting a shot at Phantos and Lucios soon.
LDW: I guess so. Those punks will get theirs, sooner or later, though.
OBJ: Maybe sooner. If the Heels are unable to wrestle, that's one less team in our way.
LDW: So the more opponents we put on the shelf...
OBJ: The sooner the current champs will learn to fear us.
MHJ: I suspect you've got a lot of work ahead of you to make them fear you.
LDW: We don't think of it as work, we think of it as fun.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:15:25 GMT -5
*OOWF Hallway*
Alexander is storming down the hall towards the Run DEA Suites and fortunately for him or others no one has randomly encountered him and he gets to the the suites at the same time as the rest of the group besides Davin and Samantha. He grabs a hold of Alexis before she enters the room and pulls her further down the hall. Firewoman looks over and is about to say something when Phantos notices the look Alexander is giving her and quickly pulls her into the locker room.
Alexis: You got a problem brother dear?
Alexander: Don't be fucking cute right now Lexie. I have lots of problems at the moment.
Alexis: How bout you enlighten me then? Because I don't really have any idea what's got you so wound up.
Alexander: This isn't what we signed up for and you know it. We merged with Run DLP because it was supposed to make us unstoppable and look at us. Fire and I can't fucking buy a win, Phantos & Lucios as much as they talk about being the best are getting it from all sides and they won't hold out for long, and fuck if Davin had to get himself intentionally disqualified against that masked fuck.
Alexis: I thought you were going to handle that?
Alexander: Handle what though. Before this week, he at least still brought it in the ring. This week was a fucking disgrace to everything we were supposed to be in Run DEA.
Alexis: Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Alexander: What can I do Lexie? He's not even fucking here again...
Alexis: Now where the fuck did they go?
Alexander: Some stupid fucking live ad and then he and Sam were flying up to Foxboro for the game.
Alexis: Are you fucking serious? You know what the problem is here, right?
Alexander: It's not Samantha and you know it. She's just a symptom. Davin's the problem. He forgets that the goal of this entire thing wasn't just him and his precious World Championship. It was about dominating this company on every level.
Alexis: So what do you plan on doing about it?
Alexander: I think it's time to sit down with the fearless leader and figure out exactly what it is we're doing here.
Alexis: And what makes you think he'll listen. It's not like you two have ever been able to have a civil conversation.
Alexander: No we haven't, but I think I can speak his language. I know what he finds important and I know how to help him keep it...or, well, let's not worry about the other option.
Alexis: What about the rest of it? I know we talked about something, but after today...
Alexander: Just talk to her and find out what the fuck she's thinking. If I do it, well...just do it. She listens to you.
Alexis: You know...I'm almost proud of you right now.
Alexander: Don't fucking start Lex. And don't be proud of me until I figure out a way to beat Cole again. Oh and speaking of which...how bout you go and get your fucking license renewed.
Alexis: Don't Alex...you know that's a fucking crock of shit. Rick's being his usual asshole self. My license is valid, but Rick's a prick and he likes to play games.
Alexander: Then go over his head sister darling. I need you in my corner this week.
Alexis: That's so sweet. I'll look into it, seriously. You should go find Austin and Tyler and relax the rest of tonight. Big training day tomorrow. I'm making it my personal goal to make sure you hit that splash this week.
Alexander: And by the way, good job on your win sis.
Alexis just nods as she walks into the Run DEA suites while Alexander heads over towards the Run DEA Training Facility sponsored by New York Sports Clubs.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:15:45 GMT -5
<Alexis Darling is seen storming down the halls of random encounters, she gets to GM the Rick's door and kicks it open and storms inside>
Alexis: Ok Rick, what the FUCK is going on?
GMtR:..........
Alexis: Well?
GMtR: I don't remember hearing you knock
Alexis: WHAT?
GMtR: Leave, and come back
Alexis: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!
GMtR:..........
<rage burns in Alexis' eyes as she walks out of the room, stops and tries to regain her composure and knocks on the door>
GMtR: Come in
<Lexie walks in>
GMtR: Ahh Alexis Darling, what brings you here? Have a seat
Alexis: What the fuck kind of game are you playing Rick?
GMtR: I told you, everyone will be treated the same, and that includes NOT kicking my fucking door open
Alexis: THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM FUCKING TALKING ABOUT!
GMtR: Really? Your outside voice? In my office?
Alexis: I fucking hate you. I am TALKING about my managers license! What the hell is your problem? I have always been a manager!
GMtR: Ahhh yes, that
<Rick turns and opens a file cabinet and flips through some papers and pulls out a folder, clearly marked DARLING, ALEXIS>
GMtR: It expired
Alexis: WHAT?
GMtR: Yep. Appears to have expired sometime in August, but with all the chaos around here, both I and my former Assistant General Manager Davin Moreland forgot to mention it to you so you could renew it.
Alexis: So what the fuck do I do now? I suppose you will take your sweet ass time in reinstating it?
GMtR: Nope, I am afraid that is out of my hands. You will have to go to the Ohio State Athletic Commission and have it renewed. I believe there is a $1000 fee that goes with it, but then you should be good for six months. They usually renew right on the spot, so it shouldn't be a problem. I am sure with your resources you can find a way to get from Virginia to Ohio and back in time for check in. And you can be in Alex's corner on Wednesday.
Alexis: Oh. So........that's it?
GMtR: It certainly appears so
Alexis: Well, how did Cole know?
GMtR: I have no idea. My guess is that he just guessed at it to annoy Alex. Good thing though, at least he brought it to your attention
Alexis: Oh
GMtR: So, is there anything else you need?
Alexis: Um.....well no, I guess not
GMtR: Ok......off you go then
<Alexis looks a little thrown, and slowly gets up and leaves Rick's office>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:16:05 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling are STUMBLING~! through the hallway on the way to the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. Likely? They're pretty drunk*
DM: ONE STOP! ONE FUCKING STOP!
SD: Oh get over it.
DM: YOU shut up. All you did was drink...you don't CARE!
SD: Oh, for Christ's sake, Davin; shut up for 2 seconds, would you?
*They wander into the Suites and plop on the couch in the Common Area, Alexis and Alexander Darling approach as they see them enter*
DM: Sorry.
SD: I know.
LD: Oh, you guys are back already? Nice of you to grace us with your presence, Champ.
DM: Hey, I have a really good idea Lexie. Why don't you go fuck yourself?
LD: You have NO idea what's going on around here, DO YOU?
DM: No. Don't particularly care right now, either.
AD: That's part of the problem.
SD: What fucking problem? There's no fucking problem. All the champs are still fucking Champs. The only problem is that you've turned into Puck Dupp.
LD: TAKE THAT BACK!
SD: How's your manager's license working out for you?
AD: Samantha, this isn't helping.
DM: No, the Mets is the only ones that around rumored around a Dick Bag.
LD: Uh. WHAT?
DM: You heard me.
AD: Davin, we need to talk.
DM: I agree. You should start winning.
AD: No, that's not what I mean.
SD: You should try it, brother. It makes for a good career.
LD: You fucking whore. Why don't you just go back to New Zealand. Everything was FINE before you showed up.
SD: So...it's MY fault Brother is losing?
AD: This is NOT about ME LOSING!
LD: Of course not. It's about your whore of a sister fucking up Davin to the point where he's had to resort to Intentional DQs.
DM: Who fucking cares. I'm a heel. Intentional DQ. Who gives a fuck?
AD: Davin, you're gonna get beat. We need to talk about...
DM: YOU need to talk about YOUR self first, Jackass. Goddammit this is the BIGGEST fucking mistake I've ever made. DLP was doing JUST FINE before we merged. Firewoman makes Divas look low-maintanance and all you do is fucking job. And Lexie; other than flirting with me...what is it that you do again?
LD: I DO NOT FLIRT WITH YOU, YOU SELF-IMPORTANT PRICK!
SD: Oh please. You're just jealous that *I* had the balls to go after him, while you sat there and played with yourself.
*Alexis IMMEDIATELY jumps on Samantha, and they start a full-on room-trashing brawl. Eventually, Alexander manages to get his hands on Samantha, and starts to pull her off of Alexis. Clearly, Davin doesn't approve of Alexander putting his hands on Samantha, and THEY start brawling. Davin eventually works him into a rear-naked choke; which makes BOTH sisters stop and pull Davin off of Alexander.*
DM: You jealous motherfuckers. I wish I'd never met either of you. Why don't you concentrate on NOT JOBBING, and let THE CHAMP do his fucking job?
*Davin goes to his suite*
SD: All you two ever do is transfer your problems onto other people. HE'S keeping this place afloat, you and the whore over there need to realize that.
*Samantha goes to Davin's suite*
LD: "Trust me, no problem. I'll take care of it". Great job, Brother Dear.
AD: Clearly, that was timed poorly.
LD: YA Think?
AD: I'll take care of it sister. Don't you worry.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:16:47 GMT -5
(GM The Rick is STANDING~! in his office with the entire referee corps) GMtR: I've been watching all of your work in recent weeks and as promised I would make a decision over who would be our new Senior Ref. With the exception of Hightower, the rest of you have been here Since The Beginning. I've agonized over this decision because all of you do have qualities to be a Senior referee in this company. Creech: So lemme guess - i'm fired? GMtR: I can arrange that if you like because you're NOT going to be Senior Referee under my watch. I've seen your earliest work and at one time you WERE a fair and partial official. Creech; Doesn't pay the bills anymore. GMtR: And your current "methods", while I can't stop them, are not what this company needs. So no, you are certainly NOT our Senior Ref. Creech; if you actually paid us worth a damn it wouldn't be necessary GMtR: You're paid pretty damn well for what you put up with. And as a token of Innecessary Generosity I'm going to see about keeping the fines for harassing/attacking referees in place. Creech: money that the refs don't get to see, right? GMtR: Your side business seems to be more than enough for you, Creech Creech; I wouldn't have to have a side business if you paid better than peanuts. You think it;s easy getting a referee with MY credentials to work for a madhouse independent like this one? GMtR: You're right, there AREN'T a lot of refs out there who worked at a salvage yard and were "Discovered" by Wahoo McDaniel Crecch: Fuck you, Rick GMtR: I don't swing that way. You don't like it, the door's right there Creech; Pick your head monkey, I'm out (storms out of the room) Glaw: (trying not to celebrate that) GMtR: He'll be back soon enough. now then - Glaw, much as I would like to put you Back In Charge, I'm afraid it won't be you. There's still way too much talk about your Alleged Actions. Glaw: I've paid dearly for said actions and you're still getting complaints? GMtR: People rarely Forget things like that. Until all that dies down I'm afraid I can't help you out, nor can I put you back in that position. You are the most experienced referee I have but the last thing I need is half the heel locker room in here bitching again. Glaw: (lowers head) GMtR: Now then. Angelo, Junior, you two have put up with a lot of nonsense with Creech and Glaw's little rivalry and I know you're both chomping at the bit to move up to this post. Junior, you're coming up on 10 years in the business and I'm glad you've stuck with us. Angelo, You've grown by leaps and bounds with us and I'm proud to have you aboard. Junior: So you want us to arm wrestle for the spot, right? Angelo: I don't think that's how this works. GMtR: And while you two have Tenure in this company and have had to deal with a few things that I know aren't the in Referees' handbook, I've made my decision to put Davis Hightower in charge. Angelo: WHAT? Junior: Aw come ON, Rick..... GMtR: I'm trying to get this company moving in the right direction, and right now Hightower is probably the one ref everyone in this company respects. Angelo, you're a very close second to that so I want you to keep that in mind the next time I have to shuffle you boys around. Junior: And me? GMtR: They like you too, but you're going to have to stand firm against bigger guys like Stank and Seamus Junior: but- GMtR: You're the main reason why I'm going to have to enforce rules against referee harassment and attacks. Stand up to them or they'll be paying your medical bills. Junior: (still looks uncomfortable) GMtR: Hightower, are you up to this task? Hightower: This is an honor I hope I can live up to GNtRL (shakes hands with Hightower) congratulations. (to the others) that'll be all, gentlemen. And have Creech drop back by when he's done with his little temper tantrum. (the referees file out of the office, All but Hightower a little disappointed)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:17:07 GMT -5
Harper Camby is with "The Main Event" Chris Cole
HC: Boss, how did you know that Alexis Darling's managerial contract has run out?
CC: All it takes is a bottle of whiskey to loosen up Erlana's lips. She will tell you anything when she is drunk and horny.
HC: Horny? Hey boss, I need to go find a liquor store.
CC: I'm sure you do, my friend.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:17:37 GMT -5
Share Post On Facebook Re: MidWeek Mayhem (11-19) Live! From Springfield, « Reply #25 on Nov 14, 2008, 2:00pm »
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:17:53 GMT -5
(A figure sneaks out of hte Fire-lair and tiptoes down a dark hallway, accidentally turning into the Hall of Random SFJ interviews. A spotlight flashes over the figure as SFJ#34 awaits with a mic)
SFJ#34: Concrete, why are you sneaking around this week? and.... why are you dressed like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?
CTG: (straightens) Good citizen, the disguise is necessary! (removes the purple mask) I am merely leaving something for my opponent for this week's match.
SFJ#34: So you're planning to kill Firewoman?
CTG: (gasp!) certainly not! after all, I am dressed in the version based more to the TMS cartoons than the comic book version
SFJ#34: but the Archie Comic version is close to the cartoon
CTG: DON'T GO THERE
SFJ#34: so you're saying your costume prevents you from attacking her?
CTG: The cartoon was under the strictures of Actually Communist Action for Children's Television. Thus, any sort of edged attack would not be permitted.
SFJ#34: but you're dressed as Donatello, so you'd have the bo staff
CTG: And the electronics knowledge
SFJ#34: Geek
CTG: my work is done here, Citizen. What she doesn't know now won't hurt her.... physically!
(CTG drops a smoke bomb and bounds off)
SFJ#34: (coughcough) GEEK~!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:18:22 GMT -5
<Fire storms out of the RUN DEA Suites Sponsored by Aquafina she stands in the hall boiling with rage for a moment, then lashes out at the nearest garbage can, kicking it down the hall, then putting her fist through the glass of a vending machine and tipping it over. While she is standing there trying to control her breathing, she hears clapping. Fire turns around and sees Moose sitting on top of a pile of pallets, grinning like the Cheshire cat>
FW: What the FUCK are you grinning about
<Moose hops off the pile of pallets>
MHJ: That was quite the display. You kicked the shit out of that garbage can. Fucker had it coming too
FW:<barely suppressing a smile when she realizes the absurdity of it> What do you want?
MHJ: Seems like you talking to me is getting you in trouble
FW: Yeah Darling is pissed about it
MHJ: Who the fuck cares what Darling thinks?
FW: He is my teammate, we are a unit. We have to do whats best for one another. Maybe us talking about these matches was a bad idea
MHJ:<chuckling a little> Listen to you
FW: What?
MHJ: The OLD Firwoman would tell Darling to fuck off, and if he didn't like it, fuck off again. His problem is with ME, that's fine. Are you REALLY going to let him dictate what you can do?
FW: That's not it at all, he doesn't trust you
MHJ: As well he shouldn't. But this isn't about him. Have I given YOU any reason not to trust me?
FW: Well there was that time when you stood back and let me get beat down by like ten people. And I think you DID heart punch me once
MHJ: Hey, I gave you plenty of opportunities to side with us. You declined. At some point, you go from potential ally to enemy. That was the war though, the war is over.
FW: Look, I still have to keep DEA's interests in mind.....
MHJ: At the expense of your own
FW: NO!
MHJ: Look, I am sure Darling would love to see you continue to struggle, that would only heighten your dependence on DEA. But I don't give a shit about any of that. I offered you insight to Crete, you offered insight to Kincaid. The way I see it, what we discuss is no one elses fucking business
<Fire looks thoughtful for a moment, but doesn't say anything>
MHJ: Oh, here take this, you are going to need it
<Moose hands Fire one of those gauze masks>
FW: What the fuck would I need this for?
MHJ: Trust me
<Moose walks off leaving Fire standing there holding the mask just as annoyed as she was earlier>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:18:46 GMT -5
(Fire returns to her locker room to settle in and meditate and try to get herself back in order. She lights a candle and some incense and settles in to focus)
FW: (taking slow, deliberate breaths) .... no one outside.... no one here.... no one (cough)
(Fire opens her eyes to see her candle billowing purple smoke. She hastily puts on the mask that Moose gave her)
FW: Captain Obvious strikes.... (she gets up and walks out the door to let the smoke pour into the hallway. She guesses that the perpetrator is close by) NICE TRY MICHAELANGELO, I'M NOT LAUGHING
CTG: (from his hiding place) I was dressed as DONATELLO!
FW: AHA! (charges)
CTG: (boggles, then dashes off)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Nov 24, 2008 15:19:02 GMT -5
sometime before Firewoman returns to her locker room, Firewoman puts the gauze mask in her pocket, and calls after Moose.
FW: So, just like that, we're done here?
MHJ: [turning around] Well, yeah, I got nothing left to say.
Of course, he's not paying attention, and turns straight into a big...well, okay, not quite big, as she's only a size 6.5 shoe, but a boot, anyway, to the chin. As he lays there, contemplating the ceiling tiles, Firewoman leans over him.
FW: Well, I'm not done. Sure, we traded insights over some cocoa and marshmellows, but that does not make us friends. In fact, my run in last week? Had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with making sure Tyson Kincaid remembers exactly who was the star pupil that carried him through, and who was the party animal that never met a drug that wasn't his friend. I'd have run in on anyone to make sure Kincaid lost.
MHJ: Ha! [(tm, EoM 2008.)] Even your best friend forever Alexander?
FW: Don't be silly. Tyson had that match won before I stepped in. Alexander wouldn't need the help.
With that, Firewoman walks back towards her locker room, where we will pick up there where we left off. Moose stands up, rubbing his jaw, but looks awfully pleased with himself.
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