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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:04:41 GMT -5
<GM the Rick is holding a press conference, and reads a written statement>
Due to Firewoman winning the Intercontinental title tonight at Mayhem, she obviously will not participate in her half of the tag title shot at the upcoming Mayhem. Instead, we have decided to insert Spin Hansen into Firewoman's spot, so he will team with Outback Jack against Phantos & Lucios. Meanwhile, Firewoman assume Spin Hansen's title defense obligation and defend the title against Moosehead Jack. Thank you
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, Vermont
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Davin Moreland vs. Tytan
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Firewoman vs. Moosehead Jack
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Phantos & Lucios vs. Outback Jack & Spin Hansen
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Chris Cole vs. DH Magnusson
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] IHOP & The Amnesiac vs. Attitude Adjuster, Stank & Seamus McNasty
Concrete TG & Tyson Kincaid vs. Bryce Larson & Nayr Alexander Darling vs. LD Williams Poe vs. Johnny Adrenaline vs. Damon Wrath
card subject to ........me not knowing anything clever to say about Vermont
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:08:06 GMT -5
a Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist stands outside the office of General Manager the Rick. The door opens and the OOWF World Tag Team Champions exit the room, apparently pretty pleased.
RNSFJ: What were you doing in there? Did Rick give in to your demands? Did you make any demands?
Phantos: Have we met? I'm Phantos (pats the belt worn around his waist) World Tag Team Champion.
RNSFJ: Uh. I know. I was on the New Zealand trip last year. You never called.
Phantos: Umm... I ... I was sick?
Lucios: Oh Shut up. We has a little discussion about the handing out of repeated championship opportunites to teams who clearly Don't Measure Up.
Phantos: So Selena listen up real good sweetie. Tell your puppet master that they need to find a new line of work. Rick agreed Gods & Monsters are no longer challengers for out OOWF World Tag Team Championships. We don't have to defend them against you again.
Lucios: So, The Heels, Defenstrators, BFF, IHOP, WGFT, and now Gods & Monsters. all casualties of The Division Killers
RNSFJ: Anything else to say:
Phantos: No, gotta run, celebration @ the Suites. Firewoman's the Intercontinental Champion now, and no one throws a week-long party like she does. It was another good night for Run DEA.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:08:24 GMT -5
(Tytan bloodied and brusied from the double belt shot is outside of the arena. He is obviously pissed off. A nearby car has a front window smashed and an unidentified object sticking out of it. Lola is cautioulsy making her way toward Tytan. Not knowing what to expect.) Lola: Tytan? Tytan: Can't you see I am just a little pissed off right now. (Poe and Selena make their way to Tytan.) Tytan: Poe, right now I suggest you and the liability take a walk. I have some business to discuss. (He grabs the mic out of Lola's hand.) Run-DEA who in the hell do you think you are. Don't you realize all you did was piss me the hell off. Now, I get to face Davin in the ring next week. The leader of you little punks. Firewoman are you that dumb? I am now going to go out of my way to make your life a living hell. Run-DEA you want a war. I am going to give you one. You want to see how it looks to have a Psyco possessed well you are looking at it. Lola: What about the rest of Gods and Monsters? Tytan: Right now Poe needs to figure out where is priorities are he needs to figure out what to do with Selena? She is becoming a liability to the team. He is more protective of her then his own damn partner. So right now I am sending a request to all the non Run-DEA members I need backup in my title shot next week. I need people who will not hesitate to kick some ass. They want a fight let's give it to them. Now it comes down to you Firewoman. You want to start something....really? Guess what you little two bit ---- I have no problem kicking your ass too. Lola: What if no one wants to join up with you next week? Tytan: (Smiles) I know someone who will, and it will simply be unforgettable. (He takes his cell phone and starts to dial.) Tytan: Hello.....yes it's me. I know it's been a long time but I can use some help... (He walks away.) Fade.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:08:42 GMT -5
Selena follows Poe into the dressing room like a puppy dog.
SG: Master…
Poe says nothing. He grabs a lamp and smashes it against the wall. Selena squeals, not sure if it’s a happy squeal or a scared squeal. Neil Patrick Harris sticks his head in to see the commotion. His eyes grow wide as he tries to leave, but Poe grabs him by the shirt collar and yanks him into the room.
NPH: Whoa, whoa, big guy, innocent victim here.
Poe: Shut up, I need a mic stand and you’ll do.
Harris uncomfortably holds the mic to Poe.
Poe: Phantos…Lucios…you cowardly pieces of shit. You just made the mistake of making this personal. Next time I see you, we’re gonna make sure it’s just us. Hell, it may not even be Tytan. I’ll let him calm down and see where he stands, but don’t worry punks. I have a few friends I can call-in in a second. You see, this time…we’re gonna do it in a cage. You wanna use weapons against us? Fine, we’ll load the cage with a few of my favorite toys.
SG: Yay toys!!
Poe: Selena!
Selena backs away with a pout.
Poe: This message is for TheRick. I’ve never even bothered mentioning you, you drunken fool until now. If you think I’m gonna go quietly into the night you’re sadly mistaken. I assume you know at least a little of what’s gone on in the wrestling industry. You DO NOT want a pissed off Poe running around your locker room doing as he pleases.
SG: Master…
Poe sighs.
Poe: What is it Selena?
SG: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. Tytan’s mad at me, you lost and it’s all my fault.
Poe: It’s Run DEA’s fault. It took all of them to defeat us.
Poe caresses Selena’s chin.
Poe: This is not on you my goddess. This is on THEM.
Poe faces the camera once more.
Poe: And now…FireWoman. I’ve given you ample warning due to the respect I have for what you’ve done in this male dominated industry. I’ve overlooked your dalliances with my enemies and spared you…until now. You’re now on my list, a place you worked very hard to not be in Japan. You’ll be hearing from me or maybe a few…colleagues soon. You’ve made your bed…burn in it.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:09:10 GMT -5
(Tytan still pissed off and just finished his phone call is walking the parking lot still bloodied. He sees Firewoman's beautiful bike. The one that was given to her by one Alex Darling.)
Tytan: Fire....you want to start something...Run-DEA you want a war. I'll step up and answer that call.
(He reaches into hit pocket and pulls out a lighter and a knife. He walks over to her bike. Slits the gas line and lets the gas begin to pour out. Once a little pool starts and begins to run from the bike he drops the lighter and walks off.)
(The fire runs until we get an explosion)
Tytan: Let's have a war then....(He laughs and walks off)
Fade
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:09:31 GMT -5
*Fade back in*
As Tytan walks through the parking lot he pauses as the explosion of the motorcycle and he smiles a dark smile. Just as he's about to continue walking he hears footsteps behind him. He turns around but sees nothing. He shakes his head and begins to walk again, but again he hears footsteps coming up quick behind him. He spins around ready for a fight, but no one is there. He looks around to make sure no one is following him and he turns around to finish his walk back inside the arena...
CRACK!!!
A sledgehammer right between the eyes. Tytan crumples to the pavement and we see Alexander Darling standing over him.
Alexander: Tytan, you stupid little bitch. You were off my radar. I didn't even know your name before tonight and now I know who you are. Not something you ever should have wanted.
Tytan is struggling to get back to his feet as he grabs a hold of a car to help...
Yes Tytan...try and get up...good...
SLAM...Sledgehammer right to the stomach. And one shot to the back cause Tytan to fall once again. Darling jumps down and starts unwrapping the barb wire from his signed sledgehammer. He starts digging the wire right into Tytan's scalp.
I haven't had the best few weeks Tytan. I haven't been winning, my partners are calling me out, and some think I may have lost my focus. That they could get away with things. Let me make it crystal clear to you Tytan. I am Alexander Darling and I am Run DEA. People may have forgotten what that may mean, but it's damn fucking time they remember. You're just the first to cross me. You get to pay the price.
Alexander drags Tytan up by the hair and he lifts him on his shoulders, placing Tytan's hand across his throat...
DARLING DRIVER ONTO THE CAR.
BOOYAH, Bitch!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:09:49 GMT -5
(After a few minutes Tytan finally starts moving on the car.)
(The camera pans in and sees Tytan smiling. Then he slowly starts to laugh.)
Tytan: Ouch...finally you people are starting to realize who the fuck I am....(holding ribs)....the only way you are going to stop me is kill me. So Alex....or as Poe calls you Boy. One you jump me from behind....cowardly....crap that hurts......hit me with a sledgehammer....just plain stupid.....oowwwhh...and by the way Booyah Bitch...it's the worst catch phrase I ever heard.
(He leans over and spits some blood. A car then pulls up and two men get out and pick Tytan up and start to carry him to the car.)
(Camera pans in on Tytan)
Tytan: If you are Run-DEA then you are the biggest piece of crap of all of them.
(He then flips off the camera and spits some blood at it for good measure.)
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:10:08 GMT -5
The music is pumping at the local watering hole, as OOWF, more specifically RUN-DEA has invaded, to celebrate everyone’s win. Well, almost everyone’s
Bartender: What’ll it be.
P: Aquafina!
L: Me too.
FW: Three Aquafinas.
LD: Really?
FW: Wait, no…what am I saying. Jameson’s.
P: Maybe I’ll try some….
L: What?
FW: Slow down, slick. You don’t start off in the fast lane. Just stick with the Aquafina for now, kay?
P: Okay.
L: Thank you!
The four head over to the table where Davin, and Samantha are sitting. Tyler Black and Austin Aries are also there. Firewoman sits between Tyler and Phantos. And there is much exchanging of high fives and reliving of the evening, and stories and what not. Alexander Darling comes in, orders several shots of Jose Cuervo, and joins the loud group at the table. He merely stares into his shots, occasionally smiling at someone’s story, but occasionally eyeing Davin. Finally a song comes on that everyone seems to like, so they all get up to dance.
FW: Um, yeah, I’ll be right there, guys. [She takes an empty seat next to Alexander]. Sorry about your match.
AD: It happens.
FW: Uh huh…….so, uh, where’s Shawn?
AD: Back at the hotel. She doesn’t exactly feel comfortable with all members of Run-DEA right now.
FW: Understandable. So….. so, you okay?
AD: I’m fine, go have fun…. Wait….Um, how did you get here, exactly?
FW: Luscious’s truck. I’m not stupid enough to take the bike to a bar, I’d be tempted to try to jump over cars in the parking lot or something after a few shots. Fortunately with Team Aquafina I’ve got built in designated drivers.
AD: Ah, yeah, about your bike…..
FW: What about it? [But she’s clearly distracted by Tyler Black who is signaling for her to come to the dance floor, and Lucios who is trying to get Phantos to do…something]
AD: Well… Uh….nothing, don’t worry about it. Someone is trying to get your attention.
FW: Hehe…yeah. [she smiles] Don’t wait up.
AD: Please spare me the details, especially if they involve Alexis.
FW: Whatever you say, brother dear.
Alexander rolls his eyes, as Firewoman joins Black and Phantos, and everyone else secondarily, on the dance floor.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:11:03 GMT -5
Morning has broken in the RUN-DEA Luxury Suites, sponsored by Starwood Hotels. Who knew there was a Starwood Hotel in Springfield, ME, population 374? Anyway, Firewoman wakes up, holds her head, and gets up, putting on a fuzzy robe. She wanders sleepily out into the living room area of the suite, where Lucky hands her her coffee. He has been reviewing promos from OOWF-TV, making notes to give to various members where relevant.
L: Fun night?
FW: Well, I woke up in my own room, by myself, so I'm going to say no.
L: Wasn't for lack of options. Apparently that guy from ROH was interested, but Captain Phantos interceded. Something about protecting your honor.
FW: My what?
L: Yeah, that's been gone a while.
FW: Watch it.
L: Anyway, he insisted he and Lucios escort you back here safely, which they did, then tucked you in and... left.
FW: Really?
L: Yep.
FW: You know, forget "know." There's a lot I don't understand about him.
L: Here's your messages. Many congratulatory ones.
FW: Yeah. Turns out sacrificed chickens outperform Maori war chants.
L: You-know-who wants to know if you'll make it to Armageddon.
FW: [sips her Dunkin Donuts coffee and thinks a minute.] No, I think I'll stick around here.
L: Really taking that whole retreat thing to heart?
FW: We'll see. I'm still not sure I trust....is that Tyson on OOWF?
L: Oh, yeah.
He un-mutes the sound, and we have the promo from last week, where Tyson shows video of Firewoman in the ring.
FW: What the fuck is he talking about? He edited out the whole--
FW: Goddammit. Lucky, call me a cab. I need to get to the arena.
She leaves to get dressed and Lucky picks up the phone.
L: Yes, Mr. Darling? It's me. She's on her way... and she's not happy............No, just Tyson's promo.......I have no idea...............No she doesn't know about that yet...................right, well, you wanted a head's up. See you in a bit.
******
Firewoman and Lucky arrive at the arena, and Firewoman is WALKING~! She and Lucky go from room to room looking on name plates on doors. Moosehead Jack is lounging against the wall, drinking is coffee, and appears to be greatly amused.
FW: Goddammit, how in the hell can a town of 374 support an arena big enough that everyone gets their own fucking locker room?
MHJ: Well, now...this has the potential.
FW: Go away.
MHJ: And miss a patented Firewoman explosion? [Firewoman bristles at the term 'explosion.'] No way. It's a thing of beauty, a force of nature, a guilty pleasure to be enjoyed.
FW: Yes, well I hope you enjoy it next Wednesday.
She comes to a door that says "Tyson Kincaid" on it and tries to open it, but it's locked. She tries the knob two or three times.
MHJ: I think it's locked.
FW: Shut up.
Firewoman stands in frustration for a minute, then looks around. She grabs a fire extinguisher, and begins pounding on the door knob trying to break it. In between there are plenty of kicks at the door, mostly for emphasis, not that they're going to have any effect.
FW: C'mon Tyson! Get your ass out here!! You know you took that tape completely out of context! [pound pound pound] You know that's not how it happened. [pound pound] What, you're a big man when it's just you and the camera? [pound pound] Or are you still passed out from your usual post-match cocktail, huh? [pound pound pound].
Finally the doorknob breaks. Alexander Darling walks up.]
MHJ: Who are you, the cavalry?
AD: Stay out of it, unless you want Firewoman to carve her initials right next to mine.
MHJ: Maybe she can draw a little heart around it too.
Firewoman jerks the door open to find... an empty locker room.
FW: What the fuck?
MHJ: Oh....OH yeah....Tyson left a few hours ago. Completely slipped my mind until now.
FW: Why didn't you say something?
MHJ: And miss the opportunity to watch you tear down a door with your bare hands? Ha!
Firewoman goes in to the locker room, and the sounds of destruction drift out into the hallway.
MHJ: What's this all about, anyway?
L: His promo, and then he called her by her real name. She doesn't like that.
MHJ: Good to know. I thought it had something to do with the motorcycle.
At that moment, the noises from the locker room stop. Firewoman sticks her head out the door.
FW: What about the motorcycle?
MHJ: [laughing] I think I'll let you guys handle this one.
Moose walks away, still laughing. Alexander and Lucky look at each other.
AD: Go ahead, Lucky. Tell her.
FW: Tell her what?
L: No way. You're trained to take that kind of abuse.
FW: Tell her what?
AD: Yes but you get paid to take that kind of abuse.
L: So do you, technically.
FW: TELL HER WHAT?
There's a slightly uncomfortable pause.... Finally, Alexander reaches out tentatively, puts his arm around Firewoman's shoulders and starts to walk her towards the parking area.
AD: There's something you need to see.....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:11:32 GMT -5
(Fade in to a close up on Damon Wraths back Wearing Dark Suit kneeling inside of an old crumbling gothic church)(His theme music paying softly)
(Almost in a praying sound) “He was destroyed and stood again….It is time to put the joy, fun, and libations aside. ..It is a time of life and death…A time to redeem and burn away the mistakes of my past. Those who led me down the path of alcohol and away from my true work”It is time for the true work to begin.”
Camera pulling back to see more of Wrath (The music changes to Return of the Phantom stranger by Rob Zombie.) (Wearing a Long trench coat.) I am his Archangel his Vengeance, Through Hellfire and Brimstone I will Purify the sins of my past and after that the sins of OOWF.
(turning to see his face bearing strange markings, Enochian symbols in black and red)
(Stares down and flames begin to rise the church Crumbles around him) (Wrath shakes off the dust and walks away)
(Wrath’s voice heard from off camera.) “I am the Archangel Wrath. All of your sins will be purified”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:11:55 GMT -5
Firewoman, Alexander Darling, and Lucky walk out into the parking area to see the remains of what was once a very lovely and beautiful Kawasaki Vulcan motorcycle with exquisite flame detailing. She takes a step forward, her mouth falls open, and her eyes widen.
FW: What......what........wh.....
AD: Now, don't over react....
FW: How....could I possibly....OVER react? I'm not entirely certain it is logically possible for me to OVER react.....
AD: Well, don't sell yourself short.....
FW: Who...........
AD: Look, I took care of it, okay? See that dented car hood over there? Darling driver-ed him right through it. It was excellent, you should have seen--
FW: WHO!?!
AD: [realizing his feeble attempt at distraction was not going to work] It was Ty-
FW: Tyson? I'm going to kill him.
AD: No no!! Wait!! Not Tyson. Tytan. Poe's partner in--
FW: What? Why?
AD: Um...something about your interference in their match, I think....you didn't watch all of the OOWF-TV Lucky taped apparently. Both God and Monster are fairly pissed off at you. I don't have to tell you what that means.
FW: For what? For sliding belts under the ropes? Shit, if I'd known that, I would have at least made it worth it and superkicked them both.
AD: So.....
FW: Wait......this happened last night?
AD: Yeah, after Mayhem.
FW: Before you came to the bar.
AD: Um, yeah, but I don't see--
FW: So you knew? Last night, you knew, and you didn't say anything.
AD: Um......I'm not sure exactly how to answer that.....
FW: Why don't you fucking say, "Yes, Fire, I knew last night and didn't say anything! I just kept my mouth shut so I could drown my sorrows in my tequila and mourn my lack of jailbait arm candy." Heaven forbid that you inform your partner, who was actually was trying to be nice to you, that the one thing in the world that she cares about is in a charred heap in the parking lot not more than five minutes away. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Darling keeps trying to interrupt, but Firewoman is on a roll. At the last sentence she gets right up into Darling's face, which he does not appreciate, so he fires right back.
AD: I don't know, maybe I didn't want to interrupt "Champion's Night Out."
Just as things are about to get out of hand, Lucky steps between them, facing Firewoman.
L: Okay....that's enough. Calm down. Mr. Darling didn't do this. He made sure to deliver the message to Tytan. He's not the one you're mad at.
Firewoman relaxes: You're right. Sorry, Alex.
AD: Yeah, well, I did take care of--
FW: Is he still breathing? Then no, no, you didn't. I'll take care of it. [She starts to walk away]
AD: Where are you going?
FW: Shopping. Flamethrowers are legal in Maine, right?
She continues walking. Alexander motions for Lucky to go with her. He looks at the pile of burnt bike parts, and shakes his head.
AD: Well...hope you know what you got yourself into, Tytan.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:13:22 GMT -5
(Spin Hansen slinks through the crowd into the boiler room in Springfield, Maine...)
Shadowed Figure: Fancy seeing you here. Ready to spout off more bullshit about how your fist is your guide and how you glorify in violence while you put on your facepaint?
Spin: I... lost. I focused more than I have in ages and I LOST.
SF: I thought that you said that it wasn't about the winning and losing. Way to keep the championship that Magnusson GAVE you. That you were defending in HIS memory. No amount of face paint and initials on your knuckles are going to change THAT.
SH: FUCK YOU! (He runs and SPEARS the Shadowed Figure, who can be seen to be wearing a black cloak but whose face is still unlit. He starts punching the Figure, who is laughing as each blow falls on him.)
SF: Oh, how far you have fallen. And you're not done falling yet. You just broke your own rule, Hansen. You let emotion come into play. YOU HAVE FAILED, HANSEN! (He sits up and throws Spin off of him as though he were a child.)
SH: THIS IS ONLY A SETBACK! I WILL PERFECT MYSELF!
SF: OH, PERFECT YOURSELF? YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING NEW! GO ASK OUTBACK JACK ABOUT HOW JACK OF THE HINTERLANDS IS SO PERFECT! HELL, DAMON FUCKING WRATH IS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR GIMMICK!
SH: (Trying to calm himself) I will speak with Jack. He will know what to do. He will show what I need to become violence incarnate.
SF: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TEACH YOU THAT SINCE WE FIRST TALKED, HANSEN! YOU DON'T LISTEN! COME BACK WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT!
(The scene fades as Spin climbs the stairs, headed toward the Destroyitarium...)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:13:43 GMT -5
AA knocks on Stanks locker room door, then without waiting for a response, walks in.
Stank: Doesn't anyone ever knock anymore?
AA: Actually, I did knock. I just didn't wait for an answer.
Stank: Oh, it's you. The non-promo guy.
AA: Now let's not get into that again. While I think that was a fine angle to feud over...
Stank: You said you weren't promo-ing! That's all I meant.
AA: Promotification.
Stank: Shut the fuck up, AA!
AA: ...
Stank: ...
AA: ...
Stank: ...
AA: ...
Stank: ...
AA: ...
Stank: ...
AA: ...
Stank: ...
AA: ...
Stank: ...
AA: ...
Stank: That's it?
AA: You told me to shut up.
Stank: But you walked in here without waiting for me to invite you! What do you want?!?!
AA: We're partners this week. I can become a two-time Chimpanzee in the Trees champ. Are you with me or against me?
Stank: Let me think on it.
AA: One more thing.
Stank: What?!?
AA: Who's this Seamus guy?
Stank: Do you pay attention to nothing anymore?
AA: Pretty much. If it doesn't involve The Chickenshit Heels or you and Capslock, I pretty much breeze over it.
(Kayfabe nails AA with a flying clothesline.)
Stank: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That was funny!
AA: Shut the fuck up, Stank.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:14:04 GMT -5
(Tytan wakes up in what looks like a medical room. He slowly gets up and feels his ribs still sore from the sledgehammer shot.)
Tytan: Owwhh I knew that one was going to hurt. Where the hell am I?
(SexyFemaleNurse enters)
SFN: Nice to see you awake sunshine. Starting to feel a little bit better.
Tytan: Yeah that was one hell of a night. Where am I?
SFN: But it this way. You are as close to home as you are going to be, he decided to help you out. It was a good thing that tracking device that was implanted in your leg was still functioning otherwise we would never have been able to find you.
Tytan: Where is he?
SFN: Watching the OOWF tapes seeing how bad you are in on this one. Tytan I will say this you have come a long way.
Tytan: Thanks. Who's the doc taking care of me?
(SFN just looks at him like "Are you kidding me?")
Tytan: Wow!
SFN: So just sit back and relax. Rest up, he wants you rested before the next plan of attack begins.
(Tytan notices the noise)
Tytan: Where are we?
SFN: Silly, you think we would help and not offer protection. We are in the air. Somewhere between here and there. Come on you never know who is watching this promo.
Tytan: True.
SFN: But you will be back to the arena in no time.
(She leaves.)
Tytan: I wonder how Firewoman likes Fire Extinguishers.
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:14:25 GMT -5
We See Phantos & Lucios inside The Suites. Phantos is bouncing away on his trampoline, and Lucios is studying tape. Phantos suddenly flips off the trampoline and lands right in front of the camera.
Phantos: Sweeeeeeet! Ninja Cam! Can I cut an off-the-cuff promo?
(The camera bobs up and down.)
Phantos: Man, Tytan, you act just like my younger cousin. He doesn’t get his way? Someone takes a toy he wants? He goes and throws a tantrum. You know what his parents do? Once he is done, they bend him over a knee and spank his behind with a belt.
So you’re mad. “Boo hoo “We didn’t win the Tag Team Championships” So you throw a tantrum and blow up someone’s motorcycle. Bad idea son. Firewoman is pretty handy with the leather. Prepare for a whippin’ !
(Lucios joins his partner in front of the camera)
Lucios: Speaking of championship opportunities; Hansen, Outback, don’t bet on getting yours this week either. Defend our Championships against two men who have never worked as a tag team? Preposterous. Rick, clear your calendar, we’re going to have another chat.
(NinjaCam fades to black)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:14:44 GMT -5
*A visibly agitated Spin walks into the Destroyitarium. OBJ waves him over to where Fear Us and Wally are sitting. Spin is about to speak but LD makes a gesture to be quiet, as Wally is on his cell phone* WBK: That's right, my friends are huge Sooner fans. They're going to love having their truck customized with Oklahoma stuff...No removable stickers, right, you made everything permanent...and the horn now plays "Boomer Sooner", right?...well done Cletus...I trust the credit card charge went through OK...and you put a big gift card on the truck saying it was from me, Mr. Darling...yes, people do give me shit about the name Cletus, but that's life...Ok, thanks. SH: What was that all about? OBJ: Motivating our opponents? SH: We couldn't just blow up their truck? LD: Well, Tytan already blew up a vehicle, so Jack thought something different had to be done. SH: And so Wally stole Alex Darling's credit card? WBK: No, that was my card. LD: That I don't understand. WBK: A souvenir from when Samantha and I got married in Thailand. SH & LD: .... OBJ(drinks beer and belches): Australian for what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand, mates.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:15:07 GMT -5
Firewoman is sitting at a laptop computer, drinking coffee at Ric's Sandwich Shop. She appears to be searching for something on the Intarwebz. Lucky comes in and sits down.
L: Is that your laptop?
FW: I'm using it, aren't I?
L: It's just that it's a Dell, and I thought we had deals with Sony.
FW: Correct on both counts.
L: And I don't recall you bringing your laptop to the arena, I thought you left it at the hotel.
FW: [sighs in frustration]Did you know that you can't find dealers for flamethrowers on the Internet?
L: Uh....
FW: Did you get the information I needed?
L: Oh...yeah....he's not here yet.
FW: Where is he?
L: He appears to be in some sort of airborne hospital thing getting his post-Darling Driver injuries tended.
FW: Can't face me like a man? Has to take out his frustrations on an innocent motorcycle, and then run off into the night? What a pussy. Okay. Change in tactic. [she types a bit on the keyboard, and hits enter]. Huh....you can't order Surface-to-Air missiles online either?
L: Wow...um, there's a lot wrong with that.... not the least of which is that by searching for that, and the flamethrowers that probably forwards the IP address to Homeland Security....
FW: Fine, I have other means. Let's go.
Firewoman gets up and grabs her jacket, leaving the laptop behind. As she does, SYB comes up with his food.
FW: Thanks for letting me check my e-mail.
SYB: No problem.
Firewoman and Lucky leave. SYB enjoys his lunch. As he is finishing up, two men in blue suits approach him.
MIBS#1: Sir, is this your computer?
SYB: Indeed it is.
MIBS#2: Sir, we need you to come with us. [flashes a badge] We're with the Department of Homeland Security.
SYB: What? What's this all about??
MIBS#1: Searching for heavy artillery, sir. Flags you as some Islamo-fascist terrorist.
SYB? What??? Do I look like an Islamo-fascist terrorist?
MIBS#2: Kind of, sir. Come with us, please.
MIBS#1: Yes, sir. Please do not make a scene. If you just come with us quietly to the office, I'm sure we can get this resolved quickly.
SYB: I'm not a terrorist! I'm a JEW!!!! Ric!!!!! Call Skurge!!! Call Dorothy!!!! HEEEEEEEELP!!!!
With the scene now well underway, the Men In Blue Suits have brought out the hand-cuffs and the tazers.
SYB: Whoa, whoa!! Don't taze me bro!!!
Ric: WOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!
The scene fades as SYB is carried out by the Men in Blue Suits.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:15:34 GMT -5
Poe enters the cabin he has borrowed from a friend for the week for himself and Selena on the banks of Lake Champlain on the outskirts of Burlington. He sees Selena standing in the middle of the living room watching OOWF-TV. She’s laughing hysterically. Poe: What is so funny my dear? SG: Watch! SYB got tazered! Don’t taze me bro! Selena continues laughing. Poe watches the monitor and cracks what appears to be a slight smile before looking away. Selena sees this and turns to face her Master. SG: Have you heard from Tytan yet? Poe: No, I have not. I’d assume he’d want advice on taking on Davin Moreland since I beat him and all, which people around here have seemed to forgotten. SG: The Boy sure did a number on him. I didn’t think he had it in him. Poe: I knew that spark was there and I had seen it before. I was almost proud. Shame it was on my partner. SG: Your partner’s being a dick weed. Selena laughs again. SG: I said dick weed. Poe: He’s young and he doesn’t always think before he acts. I had moments like that in Mexico. SG: Yes, I hear Cuervo Noche was quite the beast. Poe smirks and then strokes Selena’s chin, drawing a wicked smile as they lock eyes. Poe: You have yet to see the beast my dear. SG: *breath fully* I can’t wait. Poe: Careful what you wish for my goddess. Poe sits down on the couch. Poe: I do fear Tytan has bit off more than he can chew. FireWoman is not the person you want to piss off like he has. Selena plops down on the couch next to Poe. SG: Maybe we should let them destroy each other. *Huge grin* Poe turns his head against the back of the couch and smiles at his goddess. Poe: Maybe we shall.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:16:08 GMT -5
*Run DEA Luxury Suites sponsored by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels*
For the first time in a long time, everyone is actually in the suite and going about their business. Fire, Lucios, and Lucky are looking at some film of Moosehead Jack and the members of Drink & Destroy that the tag champs will be facing this week…well Fire and Lucios are looking at film and Lucky is taking a lot of notes on the moves and calculation the average time between moves and mentions of “respect” by Moose and coming over with a new stat called MoosPect. Meanwhile, Davin & Phantos are discussing the finer aspects of a 450 splash compared to the merits of a double moonsault all while Samantha serves them milk & cookies…she’s turned into a nice little “Suzie Homemaker.” And then on the other side of the suite sits Alexis and Alexander Darling going over some business work online. Alexander takes a moment and he looks up and staring him in the face is the PHWF World Heavyweight Championship. Also, sitting quietly with them is Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson. But she looks very tentative to be in the suite again with Davin Moreland. Alexander notices her reactions, but isn’t saying anything as he keeps working with Alexis. But it seems like Alexander isn’t the only one who notices OGM Shawn’s reactions.
Davin: What the fuck do you keep looking at Shawny?
Alexander sighs and is about to stand up when Alexis gently places her hand over his trying to calm him down. He takes a deep breath and turns back towards his sister,
OGMSJ: Sorry Mr. Moreland. I didn’t think…
Davin: Of course you weren’t thinking. You’re just another piece of dumb jailbait trash that Jobber Darling…
Alexander: Excuse me. What the fuck did you just say?
Alexis: Alex, don’t do this right now.
Davin: Listen to your sister Alex. She is the only one capable it seems.
Alexis: Davin, you know that’s not…
Alexander: No, Alexis…let the big, bad world champion talk since it seems he has so much to say behind my back. Let’s see what he can say while I’m standing right in front of him.
Davin: You don’t think I’ll say it to you.
Alexander gets out of his chair and starts walking towards Davin. The rest of Run DEA realizes this situation could quickly get out of hand and all begin to stand up and get in between them when both Davin and Alex hold up their hands telling them to back off. Phantos is about to step in between when Fire grabs his arm.
Fire: Don’t. This needs to be done.
Phantos: But what if…
Fire: Then we’ll deal with it…together.
Awwww, anyways back to the main point. Davin and Alexander are standing face-to-face with neither one blinking or stepping back.
Alexander: I’m standing right here Davin. In recent weeks, you’ve decided to choke me out…strike 1.
Davin: Because you thought you had the right…
Alexander: To deal with a family issue. You’re out of your damn mind if you don’t think I have the right…but I let that go because I understood where you were coming from. Then you went and laid a finger on someone close to me…strike 2.
OGMSJ: That’s right Alex, you tell him.
Alexander: NOT NOW SHAWN.
Davin: Another underage piece of ass…
Alexander: That isn’t and has never been the fucking point Davin, and you know it. If you have an issue with something, you bring it to me. You don’t fucking touch my property.
OGMSJ: HEY, I’m not property.
Alexander: NOT FUCKING NOW SHAWN.
OGMSJ: Sorry, Alex.
Davin: At least she knows her role.
Alexander: It doesn’t fucking matter what her role is, except that it’s my decision and next time you touch her or anything else of mine, well it won’t be good for either of us I bet.
Davin: Is that a threat boy?
Alexander laughs… Alexander: Boy, that’s cute. No, it’s not a threat.
Quicker than the blink of an eye, Alexander places his elbow against Davin’s throat and pushes him back against the wall.
Davin, what it is, is a promise. Call me out again and this will only be the start of out issues. And remember what I was dealing with when my little losing phase started. I was busy protecting your ass and your title. I was the one dealing with the fallout of your lifestyle. And remember what we said when this started. The only people who could destroy Run DEA are standing in this room right now. We came together with the sole purpose of being the best group put together this company has ever seen. It started with you becoming the best World Champion in this company.
Davin: And I am, so what does that make you?
Alexander backs off and shakes his head, Alexander: Why don’t you think about it for a while, and I’ll go eliminate another one of your biggest rivals next week when I take LD out like I just took out Tytan and I took out Eric a few weeks ago. And if think I’m so fucking useless, just say the word and I’ll be out the door. But if you truly think about it, remember these words…
We are Run DEA, Try and Fucking Stop Us…
Do you want to stop us Davin; do ya?
Alexander turns his back on Davin and walks out the door while everyone else just kinda stares at each other for a moment…
Samantha: Davin, sweetie…don’t let him…
Davin: NOT NOW SAM…I need to think. No one bother me.
*Fade out on a very tense Run DEA Luxury Suites sponsored by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:16:34 GMT -5
<Bryce Larson and Nayr are shown in the back, after their victory over the Chicken Shit Heels.>
BL: That's bullshit. I could have pinned one of those guys.
N: You could have pinned one? Did you not notice that we won?
BL: That crap wouldn't have happened on the indies. I'm going to tell GM The Rick I want one of those guys in a singles match,
N: A single's match? We just got a win as a team. You and me.
BL: You and me? What are we, some sort of odd couple? Oscar & Felix? Larry & Balke? We got that win because of me. No other reason my friend.
N: Because of you? BECAUSE OF YOU? Horse shit. If it weren't for me, we would have lost.
BL: You? You're just lucky you don't have to be "this tall" to wrestle in the OOWF. Because you'd be forced to sit out.
N: I make up for it with heart!
<GM The Rick enters the room>
GMTR: Because of who? You ham and eggers got that win because of two low blows from those chicken shits called The Chicken Shit heels. But that's okay--
BL: Hey, I want one of them. One on one. I want one of them. You can even let Verne Troyer's cousin here be in my corner.
N: Shut up!
GMTR: You're right, he will be in your corner, at MidWeek Mayhem in Springfield. Because he'll be your partner. Against two top flight competitors in Concrete TG and Tyson Kincaid. Maybe you can try to earn the win this time?
<GMTR leaves, and Bryce and Nayr seem to get back on the same page...a little.>
BL: Earn the win? He can go to hell.
N: I feel like we earned it. We won, didn't we?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:17:12 GMT -5
(After a tense moment in the Run-DEA Suites, the camera pans in and sees that it is empty. With that it allows a group of shall we say "Black-ops" come in carrying a lot of boxes.)
#1: (over headset)All right you heard the boss. We are to take out all of those original items and replace them with the ones that we were given. Team#1.
(They enter)
#1: Take out all the Pepsi Products and replace them with Fanta products.
(They Move and begin)
#2 Team 2 (They enter) Take out all the Dunkin Donuts products and replace them with Tim Horton's products.
(They move)
#1: Team 3(Enters) Take out all the AquaFina Products and replace them with Dasani. (They move)
(The teams move as quick as lighting and continue to replace all the products in the Suites with something else. After 30 minutes they are all done.)
#1: All right let's move. These guys should be coming back soon.
(Everyone clears out.)
#1: Now to leave a little note for them. (He does and leaves.)
(They camera pans in on the note that reads.)
Enjoy your new Locker Room Courtesy Of ULTIMO INC
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:17:33 GMT -5
Firewoman leaves the tension of the main area of the Suite, and goes to her locker room. She sits in front of her altar, and takes a deep breath. She lights her incense, and looks around for candles.
FW: Dammit Alex, you could at least replace the candles you 'borrow.'
She lights her candles, murmering softly and gets comfortable, eyes closed. A few minutes pass by, and her eyes snap open.
FW: Well, this isn't fucking working.
She blows out the candles and stays seated for a while. Then, she stands, and in a flash has destroyed the entire thing with a series of kicks. She sighs, and walks out, through the still somewhat tense Suites. She walks the halls of the arena, and comes to a stop in the parking area, staring at the empty spot marked "Motorcycles Parking Only." She stands staring at it, until she feels someone come up behind her.
DM: It's just a motorcycle.
FW: It's more than that, and you know it. And I thought you were off thinking or something?
DM: Wow, you haven't spoken that many words to me for weeks.
FW: I did, actually, I'm not surprised you don't remember.
DM: Oh, for Christ's sake, that was weeks ago. You should get over it.
FW: Yeah, well, I'll get over it when I'm sure it's going to stick. I thought I made that crystal clear at your house.
DM: Yeah, okay, you did...
FW: And if it doesn't...
DM: I know, I know, you're outta here, I heard you the first time. I think the people the next state over heard you.
Firewoman goes back to staring at the empty parking place
DM....
FW....
DM: So, I'm amazed he's still alive.
FW: He's riding around in a fucking plane. But it's gotta land sometime.
DM: No luck with the missiles, then?
FW: Not on the Internet. But I got people....
DM: I know.
FW: ......
DM: You know, you should be focusing on Moose right now. As far as Tytan is concerned, just say the word, and we'll all--
FW: Yeah, well, I think I need to do this.
DM: Yeah....
FW: Of course,.... I did have an idea, but I will need your.....
DM: Help? You can say it.....
FW: Very funny. But let's talk away from the ninjacams.
DM: Gotcha.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:18:11 GMT -5
(Tytan now on the ground and in what we now as Ultimo Inc. vehicle. With now extra security since we know what Firewoman is thinking.)
(Tytan in one of the vehicles turns on a mobile webcam and cuts this promo.)
Tytan: The world wants to know what is behind my actions as of late. Well I am taking this opportunity to tell you. Now I know Fire you want to know why I did that to your bike. It's simple you are part of Run-DEA and you goons have been running around here doing what ever you wanted for the last...damn too long. The war you guys were the good guys and did what you wanted then and the crowd cheered you. They you decided you were bored being good and turned and beat the shot out of Stank. Somehow you guys had enough stroke to even make sure LD never got back into the title picture. So basically, I was sick and tired of you guys doing whatever you wanted and getting no repercussions. I do like the fact that FEAR US has gotten sick and tired of you guys too. Alex I do hope you like your new truck. And Fire by the way as far as Alex's attack on me, did you ever think he watched me blow your bike up and never did anything about it. But basically I decided it was time for me to fight back. The other issue I had was I was getting tired of being known as Poe's partner and not about what I can bring to the ring. Now, that leads us to my current alliance with Ultimo Inc. I went back to Jonathan Steel for this reason. I needed someone that had the same sick twisted intelligence as the members of Run-DEA. I needed someone that can find away to get under your skin the same way you have gotten under the OOWF's skin. Also I needed someone that has money. Look I may not be the smartest guy out there but I know when to get the right help. So, Johnathan do you have anything else to add.
JS: Yes, first off it's nice to be back on the OOWF since my little accident. But since my employment was never terminated by the OOWF I will be joining him down at ringside for his match. Since he is now once again employed by OOWF you will see security beefed up a little bit around. Since we all know Tytan is a marked man. Oh and lastly enjoy my little gift of a new locker room to you Run-DEA.
(He and Tytan both start laughing as they fade out.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:18:29 GMT -5
In the OOWF arena, the lights go dim and the following song plays.
Then on the screen the words "They're coming..." appears.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:18:54 GMT -5
The camera opens on a Nayr and Bryce training session. Nayr has Bryce in an armbar.
Bryce: Now look, when you're in an armbar, you have to reverse it by flipping a lot.
Bryce does a couple flips and reverses the armbar.
Nayr: Why can't I just do this?
Nayr unceremoniously reverses the armbar.
Bryce rolls, kips up and reverses.
Bryce: Because we're facing off against Concrete TG and Tyson Kincaid. I've read their profiles on OOWF.com, and they're supposed to be well rounded technical wrestlers. We could have a five star WORKRATE~ loaded classic.
Nayr does a backflip and arm drags Bryce away.
Bryce: That was cool.
Nayr: So what if they don't use armbars?
Bryce: That's when we hit them with our devastating arsenal of martial arts strikes.
Bryce starts chopping and kicking the shit out of Nayr. As the camera fades out, we hear "Ow, quit it!".
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