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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:19:37 GMT -5
*Time Warp In-Ring Promo*
*"Lux Aeterna" blasts over the PA, and the Springfield crowd immediately turns sour and starts booing the crap out of YOUR World Champion Davin Moreland who appears WEARING his belt and is wearing a perfectly tailored dark suit and tie with hitman (Not THE Hitman...never THE Hitman) glasses. He is, for once, alone, and strides up to the ring carrying the OOWF logo'd microphone. The crowd is relentlessly booing and the trash starts to rain down on the ring*
DM: I've got all night.
*The boos continue along with the trash storm. Davin casually leans against the ring ropes. After another minute or so...*
DM: You done yet?
*Clearly they're not, and a totally classy 'Davin Sucks' chant fires up to go along with everything else*
DM: Folks, I have something to say. Like I said, I can stand here all night and wait, but I'm not going to start until you're done with this foolishness.
*The crowd apparently has all night too; and their reign of garbage and chanting continues on. Eventually they start to realize that Davin isn't kidding and really WILL wait all night, so they start to lose their resolve and quiet down.*
DM: You people are fucking ridiculous.
*At this, the crowd starts a half-hearted reprise of their previous actions; but all good things must end, and Davin begins*
DM: I realize I've been quiet of late; and I've done some thinking. I've watched and listened to people call my name week after week and I've found it unnecessary to respond. However, actions recently have made me change my mind.
DM: First let's talk about Tytan, or as I like to call him, "Drago". Drago recently went all "The Dead" on the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels...
Crowd: BOO~!
DM: Yeah, yeah. Well Drago, that's never mattered before; and if it weren't for the New Selling Initiative directed by the Board, you'd be no-sold too. You see, attacking inanimate objects is the epitome of weakness; and trust me, that's all you've ever shown in the wake of challenges. Drago, you clearly can't win the big one - in every pressure situation you've faced, you've failed. And not just failed; failed spectacularly. Your steroid Doc realized this early on, and dropped you; and now look at your embarrassment of a Tag Team, Gods and Monsters. Your PedoPal can't get away from you fast enough. You think you can hang with the Division Killers? You think you've got one-tenth of the ability and talent of my brothers? Again and again and again you've been embarrassed - and you continue to come back for more.
DM: So now you've got yourself a title shot with the Alpha Dog *lowers his glasses onto his nose* That's me. *Pushes them back into place*. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, you've spent your time on childish pranks and calling out my sister-in-arms. You really don't understand, do you? You really don't get what it means to be Run DEA. Run DEA isn't just a faction - it's a way of life. You eat, sleep, shit, live and breathe Run DEA. You think *I* am going to let your foolishness go unanswrered Drago? Do you think I, Davin Moreland, will allow you to come into MY ring and act like you belong here?
DM: No Drago. I will not allow that. I will not allow my reputation as a Champion to be sullied by the inferior likes of you. So be prepared to put the fact that you got a title shot on your resume; and it can join the rest of your abject failures. That's getting to be a long list, my friend. It's clear that you've learned nothing from your mentor, PedoPoe - who at the very least deserves to be in this ring, if for no other reason than he's spent the last several months carrying your sorry ass. By the way, PedoPoe, any time you want to tangle - my docket's open.
DM: And finally, I feel that I must address my teammate, Alexander Darling. Alexander, you've finally decided to man up recently; and that's good for you. That's what our team needs. However, putting your hands on me, and speaking to the World Champion like you did will not be tolerated. In the words of a late mutual friend of ours...This. Is. Not. Over.
DM: Not by a long shot. We've rarely if ever seen eye-to-eye, and clearly we have some unresolved issues to work out. The time for words is virtually over, and neither of your sisters can say or do anything to change that anymore. You do what you need to do, and I'll do what I need to do; but Alexander, you are now on notice. The time for niceties is over.
*Lux Aeterna fires up again, and Davin starts to leave the ring to a chorus of boos, before he stops himself*
DM: And Stank, anytime you want to stop playing grab-ass with the Heels and get your career ended...you know where to find me you stupid son of a bitch.
*More booing*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:20:01 GMT -5
<SFJ#3 and a visible camera crew, walk into the Destroyitarium to interview Stank, while being... uh... filmed by an invisible ninja camera crew.>
SFJ#3 - At Midweek Mayhem IHOP will be putting their Trios Championship titles on the line against Seamus McNasty, One half of the Chickenshit Heels, Attitude Adjuster, and the man I have standing by here, Stank.
Stank - Oh. Alicia. How wonderful it is to see one of you.
SFJ#3 - One of me?
Stank - Yeah. One of you SFJ's. It's been awhile since any of you have come to interview me.
SFJ#3 - Well the in-thing for the OOWF lately has been for each of the talent to have their own personal plot devices. Multiple Sexy Female Journalists are no longer the rage, especially given today's economy. There are now only a couple of hundred of us left. Our species is growing extinct. In fact Rick just informed a group of us to expect another round of Sexy Female Journalist house cleanings.
Stank - What? That's upsetting.
SFJ#3 - I'm just hoping my number doesn't drop any further. Back when you were champ I was number 1.
Stank - I remember.
SFJ#3 - The World Champion won't even speak to me. In fact, no one in Run DEA will speak to me. SFJ#1 is trying to get an interview with Chris Cole.
Stank - Tell Charlotte to be careful.
SFJ#3 - Oh you didn't hear? Charlotte is no longer #1. Nicole is now #1. Charlotte is trying to score an interview with Moosehead Jack to regain her status.
Stank - Hmmm. 13 isn't going to like that.
SFJ#3 - I don't like 13... she scares me.
Stank - She's one of the few I haven't... uh... dated.
SFJ#3 - Yeah about that... You were partly responsible for most of us getting our jobs.
Stank - I used to chair the Sexy Female Journalist acquisition committee, yes.
SFJ#3 - Anything you can do to secure my-
Stank - I don't chair that committee anymore, sorry.
SFJ#3 - ...
Stank - ...
SFJ#3 - ...
Stank - ... stop crying.
SFJ#3 - I'M NOT CRYING!
Stank - If you say so.
SFJ#3 - ANYWAY, I need this interview to go well.
Stank - Well? All you got to do is ask a coherent question. Shouldn't be that difficult.
SFJ#3 - ...
Stank - You started off so well. You began by tying Mayhem into my involvement in the Trios title match... just build it from there. I don't need to tell you this... you're number 3. That's a pretty good standing.
SFJ#3 - I TOLD YOU! Rick is getting RID of US! We're being replaced by personal PLOT devices, minor celebrities! You guys even interview EACH OTHER at times!
Stank - SHHHH! SHHHH! Calm down! You're hurting your chances here.
SFJ#3 - Oh WHAT'S the USE?? I should have started that internet vinaigrette business like my mom told me to.
Stank - Vinaigrette?
SFJ#3 - Yeah... I've made something like 98 different kinds.
Stank - Really? Are they any good?
SFJ#3 - I'll let you try a sample when... I... uh.. yeah.
<SFJ#3 turns slowly and stares at the camera suddenly aware of its presence and implication.>
Stank - Maybe you should just do the interview proper now.
SFJ#3 - Right... uh... You've been involved in a bitter battle with Run DEA lately. Are you worried that your upcoming match against IHOP for their Campeonas de Trios Titles is a distraction?
Stank - Yes.
SFJ#3 - ...
Stank - ...
SFJ#3 - Yes?
Stank - Yes.
SFJ#3 - Care to elaborate?
<Stank looks off to the side for a moment, measuring his next words.>
Stank - First let me get this out the way. Any opportunity to become a champion in this company is a welcome one, but... my partners are Alan Capps with whom I've had a... troubled past, and Seamus McNasty, who's help from time to time I've appreciated. We're not exactly a close knit unit, especially when compared to the current Trios Champs, but I will do what I have to for my team to win.
SFJ#3 - But...?
Stank - But make no mistake... my focus is the eventual destruction of Run DEA... and the outright annihilation of our World Heavyweight Champion in particular. No doubt Moreland wishes the same on me and mine. Evident by the shit spewing from his pie hole at every opportunity he has to address me.
That asshole has the nerve to call me out? Every time we have stepped in the ring against one another, since he's become champ, has been an exercise in my beating the ever living piss out of him. So what does he do? He interferes in my match after daring me to do the same to him. His bitches interfere in the matches of my brothers-in-arms even managing to sideline Lock in the process, and then hold themselves up on a pedestal of what...? Greatness...? Honor...? Bitches please.
Meanwhile we get to suffer through As the Run DEA Turns, like sands in the fucking hour glass!
Will Phantos fall prey to Firewoman's unrequited lust? Will OMG~! Shawn Johnson FINALLY realize that she is in a dead-in relationship once she views Xanderboy's tiny dick? Will the Darling twins ever just get it over with, and fuck already? Will Samantha accept her new role as Davin's housebitch, now that our World Champion is starting to give a fuck?
These are the days of our lives!... accept they're not!... it just fucking feels that way every time we have to witness one of their promos!
We are Run DEA! Try and stop us!
Fuck you!
Fuck your Run, your D,E and A! There is no TRY we WILL stop you! Drink and Destroy and whoever else wants to come along for the ride. You say the only ones that can stop you, are you? While you seem to be well on your way to doing just that, I no longer have the patience to wait for it to happen. I will pull the fucking trigger and it starts the next time any of mine meet any of yours.
You like to interfere in our matches? What's good for the goose... is good for the gander.
Davin you want to call me out?
I'm coming for you.
The monster reign. Your worst nightmare. I will settle for nothing less than you lying broken at my feet... you fucking twat bitch motherfucker. And as for the rest of you... the Darlings, Phantos, Lucios, and Firewoman... Do not make the mistake of thinking you won't suffer the same.
We are Drink and Destroy... and you are fucked.
<Fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:20:34 GMT -5
(Johnathan Steel comes up on The Ultimo Inc. webcam.)
JS: This is Johnathan Steele in case you forgot and now it's time to address the comments of one Davin Moreland. First off you are a moron. You need to get your facts straight before you run more bull shit out of your mouth. First, let's remind you I got ran down back in Iraq when we were putting on a show by Dr. Podvod or someone she hired. If you forgot go back to the archives and pull it up. So I never dropped Tytan. Two, as far as Gods and Monsters are. Poe never walked away from Tytan. Tytan told him that he needed to walk. He needed to think about how Selena was becoming more of a distraction to the team and their objects were not going to be reached until a balance between her and the team could be found. So let's see that means that two things you have been dead wrong about. Now, let's look at your record. How many of your victories have been tainted by your brothers and sister. How many times have you faced the former champ since you lost the title? How many times have you stepped in the ring with Stank? I haven't seen that. Maybe you are all talk and that's about it....you see I already know what you are going to do come Mayhem. You and your DEA brethren will not give Tytan a chance in hell to give you a fair fight. Heck, I would be surprised if you will even let Tytan make it to the ring. Either way it won't be a fair fight. So even if we loose we win. We prove to the world and the rest of the OOWF that you are nothing but an expensive suit and cheap hitman sunglasses. All show! So we will see you an Mayhem!
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:20:55 GMT -5
Firewoman is WALKING~! in You-Know-What-Hallway, in regular street clothes (boots, jeans, ROH Tyler Black T-shirt, and leather jacket) with her Intercontinental Title belt over her shoulder. She happens to come upon Tytan walking the other way, with two members of Ultimo, Inc. Security. The two stop... and the mutual stare down begins.
FW:.....
Tyt:......
FW:.....
Tyt:......
Tytan smiles smugly. Firewoman smiles...sweetly?
Tyt: Obviously, you're out numbered.
FW: [Looks at each security guard, and back at Tytan] Hi guys. Hi, Tytan.
She walks around the group and continues walking calmly down the hall.
Tyt: Huh?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:21:13 GMT -5
Gaelic Storm are all walking down the hall, turn the corner and run right into Tytan and his security detail…Seamus and Tytan look at each other for a long minute and then… Seamus: “Oh excuse us Tytan, step aside boys let them pass…” Tytan get’s a big grin, puffs his chest up real big and walks by as Gaelic Storm part the way Seamus (yells down the hall): “Clear the way, DEAD MAN WALKING”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:21:34 GMT -5
<SFJ13 catches up with Moosehead Jack in the back>
SFJ13: Moose you have a match for the Intercontinental title this week, but instead of facing Spin Hansen, you will be facing your recent partner Firewoman, any thoughts on that?
MHJ: Have you seen what the woman can do to a door? That door had no chance. Well Fire, I am thinking I will present a little more of a challenge than Tytan's locker room door. Quite honestly I don't give a shit what Tytan did. It would be a damn shame if that were to distract you. You made a great partner, but hey, nothing personal, a title is a title.
SFJ13: Aren't you concerned Fire will use her anger toward Tytan on you?
MHJ: Concerned? Hell I expect it. See, this is where I would try to get into Fire's head, but I know, right now, there is no point. Fire is not going to let Tytan distract her, when she comes to that ring, she will be 100% focused on me.
SFJ13: How can you be so sure of that?
MHJ: It's real simple. She knows if she is not 100% focused on me, she can't beat me.
<Moose smirks and walks away>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:21:54 GMT -5
Poe is sitting in the lotus position, meditating, on the shore of Lake Champlain. [image] Selena is pacing behind him, rubbing her arms from the cold. Poe can hear her doing this.
Poe: Selena my darling, if you are cold, go back inside.
SG: No, I’m BORED!
Poe: Then enjoy the view of the lake.
SG: Yeah that took like a whole five seconds.
Suddenly someone screams “Poe!” Poe and Selena hear them as they rush down the yard towards the shore. Poe and Selena turn and see Neil Patrick Harris rushing towards them.
SG: Oh jeez! He found us, boo!
Poe: Harris…what do you want?
NPH: I found you *out of breath* woo, that took work.
Poe glares at Harris, waiting for an answer.
NPH: Erlana sent me to find you. They wanted to know where everyone was.
SG: We have cell phones moron!
NPH: Then how could I interview you, hello?
SG: I’ll be inside.
Selena storms back to the cabin.
Harris sits on the shore next to Poe.
NPH: Spendin’ a li’l time with the lady eh?
Harris elbows Poe slightly. Poe just glares at Harris.
Poe: What. Do. You. Want?
Harris holds the mic up to Poe.
NPH: Okay, I’ll just cut to the chase big man. Tytan has re-joined Ultimo, Inc.
Poe: Good for him. Step back into your old patterns and ways. That will move you forward.
NPH: Sarcasm, NICE! You know he says Selena up there distracts you.
Poe: Last man that’s pinned me was Spin Hansen several months ago. Tytan took the fall in both our matches against Phantos & Lucios, yet I’m the one with the problem. Anything else?
NPH: Well…Davin Moreland basically said anytime you’re up for it, he’d get back in the ring with you. He calls you PedoPoe ya know.
Poe smirks.
Poe: Davin, Davin, Davin…be careful what you wish for. You just may get it.
Poe goes back to meditating.
NPH: Poe…uh, Poe…
Harris looks to his cameraman.
NPH: I guess we’re done here.
Harris tries one more time to get Poe’s attention.
NPH: You guys got any good shit stashed up there?
Selena yells from the window.
SG: Go away!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:22:21 GMT -5
*SFJ420, Ms. Moonbeam, is hanging out in the vicinity of the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. Conveniently, Davin Moreland is headed toward her fresh (sort of) from his in-ring promo*
SFJ420: Dude! Davin man. Yo...you got a second bro-ham?
DM: Are you fucking serious right now? I thought we talked about this.
SFJ420: Sorry. It's just that; I'm all stoked...I mean...excited. There's been a lot of response to your promo earlier.
DM: I noticed.
SFJ420: Any reaction?
DM: *yawn*
SFJ420: Well put.
DM: Talk is cheap. See this belt? *points to belt* This makes ME right and the rest of you full of shit trying to hide your fear. Drago? You don't get to "set things straight". You don't have that privilege. Things are how I say they are. I'm the champ. You're the challenger, and yet another weak one at that. You should check in with Capps and cash in on some prop bets, like...How will Drago fuck up this week? Can Drago hang for 5 minutes in the ring with the greatest World Champ of all time? Will Drago get pinned or will he tap like the gutless wonder he is? You could make some BANK this week. Help you pay for all the masking agents, ya know? The loser's share doesn't pay much nowadays.
DM: Stank? Your fake intensity is becoming very tiresome. Either do something about it or shut the fuck up. I've invited you very nicely to join me in the ring to have your career ended; and all you do is "Blah Blah I will end DEA blah blah". Christ, you sound like Drago. I knew you were soft; but I didn't know you were this soft, Lucas. You USED to do your talking in the ring, you know, where it matters. Nowadays, you're Alexander Darling without the bright yellow and italics. Yawn fatboy. Big old yawn inducing drivel.
DM: And finally. PedoPoe. You know? We had a perfectly fine little feud not too long ago. You pinned the future greatest Champ of all the times! And then? You form the hilariously pathetic team of Gods and Monsters - A jobber team the likes of which haven't been seen since The Nerve Agent and Blitz. Way to take an even bigger step backward in your disappointing career since you jumped into a real wrestling promotion. Tough being a little fish in a big pond, isn't it PedoPoe? Be careful what *I* wish for? Are you kidding me? I'd love to get another shot at what's left of that ankle of yours. And who knows; maybe THIS time the object of your molestation won't be so lucky this time when the fireball comes at her pretty little jailbait face? Tell you what whackjob. If you want a piece of the Champ, say the word. I'll work my magic with our pathetic GM and see if we can't get ourselves a little match together, k? Just do me a favor. Make sure you bring the kid to ringside. I wouldn't want her to miss out on the utter destruction of her master.
SFJ420: Woah.
DM: I know, right. Is he in there?
SFJ420: No.
DM: Good. If he knows what's good for him, he'll stay out of my way for a while.
SFJ420: Awkward, isn't it?
DM: It was bound to happen sooner or later. Don't worry your dredlocked little head, Moonbeam. Run DEA is bigger than even this.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:22:38 GMT -5
It's bright and early on a Sunday morning, and Firewoman is completing a run on the treadmill, since it's STILL FREAKIN' SNOWING. She shuts it down, grabs a towel and an Aquafina, and then takes her headphones off. As she's wiping herself off, Tytan comes in, but this time he's without Ultimo Security. He sees Firewoman and instantly goes into preparation-for-a-fight mode.
T: Fire....Didn't think anyone would be up this early. Especially you.
Tytan keeps a respectable distance, and his hand goes to his cell phone.
FW: Yeah, unlike some folks around here, I can keep the partying separate. Normally I'm running outside, but with this snow....
T: Uh...huh........
Firewoman grabs her stuff
FW: Okay, time to hit the showers. Have a good day, Tytan.
Firewoman leaves. Tytan, relaxes...a bit. He gets on the treadmill, being very careful to keep his eyes on the door, but no one appears.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:22:56 GMT -5
<Stank has just finished watching the end of Moreland's interview.>
Stank - Once again, Davin chooses to hear and see what he wants. In case you've forgotten, tough guy, I've already been in the ring with you since your lovely invitation and you've gotten your ass handed to you each time. You keep taunting me, but you never use your considerable stroke to get me in ring. I don't book matches. You want to try me? Go ask Rick to book the match, and if you're still champion, why not put that belt on the line, as well? I'll tell you why. Because you're a pussy in pimp's clothing. You don't want none of this.
Well I'll tell you what... come Mayhem... maybe even before then... you're going to get some.
Believe that.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:23:14 GMT -5
(Lola catches up with Johnathan Steel who is in business attire and walking through the hall of Random Encounters.)
Lola: Mr. Steel do you have a moment?
JS: Yes. Lola what do you need?
Lola: It seems your attitude has changed since the last time you came around here. Care to comment?
JS: Lola, I learned a lot when you are staring at death. I am a new man and changed my ways.
Lola: So that is why you agreed to help Tytan is his epic uphill battle?
JS: Now don't get me wrong Tytan is a good man with good intentions but he is not the smartest guy. He usually acts before he thinks. But this was a sign of maturity for him. He realized he started something big and needed some backup. So he called the only person he could depend on. Me.
Lola: You said depend on not trust why?
JS: Nice to see you are paying attention. If you were Tytan would you trust me. No I wouldn't after the crap I put him through. Poe taught him a lot and it is good to see that he as come along way since Tytan was my project. So I will say good work to you Poe. Maybe when this is all said and done maybe everyone can pick up where they left off.
Lola: So you are saying that Gods and Monsters aren't dead?
JS: Never say never. This team has untapped potential. They just have some rough edges to smooth out. Tytan needs to find his own identity right now. Maybe this is the way he is doing it?
Lola: We could only hope so? But this is like having a death wish. He is trying to fight the whole entire Run-DEA. He has a damn good chance of ending up in a hospital. Heck he has a damn good chance of getting killed.
JS: All I can say is he believes in his cause and when you believe in something strong enough you will be willing to lay down your life for it. Right now that's Tytan and that's why I am here. Now, I am sorry Lola, but I have a meeting with some people in ten minutes.
Lola: Thanks Mr. Steel.
(He walks off) FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:23:48 GMT -5
*Fade into a Springfield, Vermont jail. The Department of Homeland Security decided to place SYB in a holding cell before formally questioning him. We see SYB surrounded by a bunch of badass cons.*
Generic Con: Tell us how you cut him.
SYB: With no knife.
GC: You told me you cut the dude.
SYB: With these <he holds up his fists> I cut him.
<A large black con and his smaller buddy across the cell scoff at the last remark>
SYB: I am a master in Greco-Roman wrestling. Nate Corbitt was my teacher.
<He stands up and puts the nearest con in a headlock>
SYB: That's the "quart of blood" technique. Do it, a quart of blood drops out of a body.
GC: Tell him how you beat on the cop.
SYB: Wasn’t no cop. Cops, plural. Beat the shit out of ten cops and had to change my whole strategy around.
<The large black con calls from over the room>
LBC: When they brought you in and booked you, you was crying like a pussy.
Smaller black con: Yeah.
SYB: The cops threw tear gas in my face.
LBC: You beatin' 10 cops. How come I don't see no bruises on you?
SBC: Yeah.
SYB: 'Cause I'm a wrestling man, all right? Wrestling man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness. But you don't know that because you're a big Barry White looking motherfucker!
<LBC and SBC stand up and slowly move over to SYB who quickly looks at his watch>
SYB: I’m one of the Chimpazees on Tricycles... I ain’t got time to be here.
LBC: Where is your partners, Mr. Big Time Chimp?
SBC: Yeah.
SYB: <rolls his eyes and talks to the generic con> Didn’t I tell you I’m one of the founding members of IHOP and that the phone to our palatial locker room is busted?
GC: <to the black dudes> Yeah, the phone is busted… what is ya ignorant?
<A hush falls over the cell as the two approach SYB>
SYB: You boys don't know what you're doing, I can see that already.
<They lift him and pin him against the wall>
SYB: Do you know who you're fucking with? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE FUCKING WITH? Back the fuck up, back up!
<The two cons are ready to pounce>
SYB: Do you know who you're fucking with in CELL NUMBER FOUR ON THE NINTH FLOOR?
<A guard shows up in the nick of time>
Guard: Solly Ya Bastard?
SYB: Yes?
Guard: Move it. The feds want to talk to you now.
<SYB looks at the SBC>
SYB: Yeah.
*FADE OUT*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:24:08 GMT -5
<Bryce Larson leaves his training session with Nayr and checks his cell phone for voicemail.>
Cell phone: You have ONE new message. To listen to your new messages, press 1.
<Bryce presses 1.>
Cell phone: First message, received Today, at 8:22 PM.
Voicemail: Larson, it's The Rick. Listen, stop calling me! I got your message the first time, and the 8 that followed. You're teaming with Nayr, okay? You guys have a good thing going, and I think you're starting to gel. If you keep winning, there could be a tag team title shot in your future. Give it a chance. Or not. Whatever. Just STOP CALLING ME ABOUT IT!
Cell phone: To erase this message, press 7. To save it in the archive--
<Bryce presses 7.>
BL: Seriously, teaming with the midget?
<Nayr catches up behind Bryce.>
N: Technically I'm not a midget!
BL: Ah shit...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:24:30 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline are standing at the catering table, when Tytan and two Ultimo Security guards walk up.
AA: I'm telling you, ignore the odds, it's a sure thing.
JA: Yeah, that's what you said last week. Oh, hey Tytan.
AA: Tytan.
T: Guys, what's up?
Tytan gets himself something to drink, as Johnny and Alan exchange a look.
T: Something funny?
JA: No, not at all.
AA: No, no....well....yes. You think two is going to be enough?
T: Enough what?
JA: Security.
T: Huh?
AA: Dude....you blew up her motorcycle. Even we wouldn't do that.
JA: No way.
T: Oh, please......
AA: Dude, this was before your arrival, but she set Johnny on fire! Just for kidnapping her valet.
T: True....but she's just one person....
JA: And Alan there? Alan simply made a joke about her being pregnant, and you saw what she did to him.
T: I think the three of us can handle her.
AA: Whatever man, it's your funeral.
JA: Yeah, been nice knowin' ya.
T: You guys really are chickenshit heels, if you are going to try to tell me I should --
At that point Firewoman comes up to get herself some coffee. Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline try to find a way to make themselves scares.
FW: Hi guys.
JA: Fire.
FW: Johnny. Alan.
AA: Bitch.
FW: Aw, you didn't say that when you were on one knee...
As Firewoman turns around, Tytan takes a step forward, bumping her arm, and spilling her coffee all over her arm. The entire hallway goes silent, kind of like it does in those old Westerns, when the bad guy challenges the good guy to a duel? The Heels look at each other, and leave the scene quickly. Tytan looks down at the spilled coffee, then slighly less down at Firewoman. Firewoman looks at her arm, then looks up at Tytan.
T: Oh wow... uh... um... I'm sorry, I didn't see. Um, really I just --
FW: Oh, it's just coffee. It'll clean. Don't tell anyone, but that's really why I wear black all the time, because it doesn't show the coffee stains.
Firewoman refills her cup, and then turns to go, smiling.
FW: See ya later!
Tytan watches her go, as incredulous as everyone else. He grabs his cell phone and hits a speed dial button.
T: Yeah, Steel? We really really need to talk.....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:24:54 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack is in the Destroyitarium sitting with Fear Us>
LDW: So, you have a shot at Firewoman eh?
MHJ: Yup
OBJ: You wouldn't know it
MHJ: Yup
LDW: Seems like she is more concerned about Tytan because he blew up some stupid bike
OBJ: It was a nice bike
MHJ: Yup
LDW: You got anything else to say?
MHJ: What else is there to say? If she's ready by Wednesday it will be a helluva match
OBJ: And if she's not?
MHJ: She's gonna get hurt
LDW: Trust me?
MHJ: I wouldn't
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:25:17 GMT -5
**SFJ#27 approaches L.D. Williams as he exits the Destroyitarium.**
SFJ#27: “L.D. in Alexander Darling’s recent tirade against Davin Moreland, he made it clear he intends to remove you as a threat to the World Title. Are you offended by his taking you lightly?”
LDW: “Surprisingly, no.”
SFJ#27: “No?”
LDW: “I’ve been where Alex is – running interference for a champion who just doesn’t get it. He’s doing the heavy lifting while someone else takes the credit. Right about now he’s trying to decide if the potential benefits are worth the aggravation. All things considered, I’m willing to cut him a little slack for being distracted.”
SFJ#27: “Will that extend to your match Wednesday night?”
LDW: “Not a chance. Alex, there’s two ways this can go. If you come to the ring ready to wrestle, I will, to borrow a phrase, make you famous. You can start living up to all that potentialyou’re supposed to have. On the other hand, if you’re intent on “being Run DEA”, and proving something to Moreland, DOA will be more appropriate letters.”
SFJ#27: “Strong words…”
LDW: “With Alex, there’s no point in subtlety. He knows what I’m capable of inside the ring and, more than anyone else here, he knows what I’m capable of outside of it. What happens Wednesday night will depend on where Alex’s head is. Preferably, it’ll be a show-stealing match, but if it has to be a slaughter, so be it.”
SFJ#27: “Your partner Outback Jack has a shot at the tag team titles with another member of Drink and Destroy. Are you concerned?”
LD: “Why would I be? Gold is gold. I have no issue with Spin, and if he and Jack win the belts, more power to them.”
SFJ#27: “One final thing – Stank has committed Drink and Destroy to war with Run DEA. Does he speak for you as well?”
LD: “Last I checked I wasn’t an official part of D&D, but I’m always up for a fight. To answer the question… yeah – I’ll back D&D when the time comes.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:25:34 GMT -5
SMJ: We’re here in the OOWF Interview area with your new Intercontinental Champion, Firewoman. Firewoman, you’ve had some personal events that have become very public in the past week, first your past with Tyson—
FW: Really? Was anyone truly surprised by that?
SMJ: Well, probably not….And then Tytan’s actions with your personal property—
There’s a moment of tension as Firewoman’s eyes seem to harden, but then it passes
FW: The only thing I’m interested in right now, is defending this belt. To do any less would be totally disrespectful to the previous belt holder, Spin Freakin’ Hansen.
SMJ: Really? That sounds almost complementary.
FW: That’s because it is. Spin Hansen may have been one of my toughest opponents yet, and I’m still having a hard time I defeated him. If I were to go into the ring with anything less than 100 percent focus on Moosehead Jack? That would be the ultimate insult. I owe it to Spin to be focused solely on defending this belt, and not on the silly personal games some of these boys seem destined to play rather than confronting things head-on. I don’t really have the time or the patience for it.
SMJ: Interesting. About your opponent, Moosehead Jack.
FW: Moose… You know, you should never trust someone who tells you to trust him as often as Moosehead Jack does. Moose and I actually have a lot in common, he’s right about that. More than I think anyone around OOWF realizes. They’re about to get a taste, because I’ve had a shitty week, and I’m looking forward to venting my frustrations on Moose. So just because I haven’t mentioned your name every time I’ve opened my mouth, Moose, doesn’t mean I’m not focused on you. Trust me [she smiles] I am.
SMJ: Don’t you have a catchphrase you want to add in?
FW: Dude, there is nothing sparkling for me this week. And that is nothing but bad for anyone in the ring with me.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:26:37 GMT -5
*OOWF Backstage Interview Area*
Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson is standing by with Alexander Darling so let's head back there for some words.
OGMSJ: Thank you truck monkeys. It is I, the OOWF's only Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson and I am standing here with the one and only Alexander Darling. How are things Alex?
Alexander: Things are interesting to say the least Shawn.
OGMSJ: Is that because of the issues you seem to be having with fellow Run DEA member and current OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, fucktard Davin Moreland?
Alexander: Hey, be nice Shawn. We went over this. Let Davin do all the talking he needs to; as long as he realizes who and what he represents in the ring, that's all I care about. He can say whatever he wants about me and my recent run because he really isn't that wrong.
OGMSJ: But Alex, he said some and did some pretty mean things. How can you just take it?
Alexander: It's easy Shawn. It's because Run DEA is bigger than Davin Moreland and he knows it. It's bigger than all of us and there will come a day when either Davin realizes that on his own or someone shows him.
OGMSJ: Is that a warning?
Alexander: No it isn't Shawn and I'm kind of tired talking about Davin. I have a big match in two days that I would much rather talk about.
OGMSJ: But Alex, it seems that all of OOWF is talking about...
Alexander: Let them all talk about whatever they want. I, for one, know that LD Williams couldn't care less about what happens within Run DEA. And to be honest, at this point I can't care anymore either. LD Williams is an absolute icon here in this company and if I'm not 100% focused on him, I have no right stepping into the ring with him.
OGMSJ: Well, just a little while ago he said the match could go one of two ways.
Alexander: And how did he say it could go?
OGMSJ: He said that if you weren't in the game, it would be a slaughter...but that if you had your head on right, it could be a show stealer.
Alexander: See, that's the reason I've always liked Williams. We may never have seen eye-to-eye on the issues here and we may never be comfortable with the others' allies, but the bottom line is we both know the only place to take care of business is inside the ring.
OGMSJ: Does that mean you'll have your head on straight for the match with LD?
Alexander: The one thing LD Williams will never have to worry about with me is bringing everything I am to the ring. Issues or not within Run DEA does not change the fact that I am Alexander Darling and that ring is the only place in the world where I can be the absolute best.
OGMSJ: Well, it's not the only place.
Alexander smiles for the first time, Alexander: That's totally not the point Shawn. We all know that I can't be compared to there. But back to the point, Williams...we've faced each other in singles competition once before and you took the win. This time, well, let's just say I feel a whole lot more comfortable in the OOWF ring and you better damn well be prepared for me.
OGMSJ: There is one other thing the monkeys in the back needed me to ask you about Alex...
Alexander: Go right ahead Shawn, I have nothing to hide.
OGMSJ: Okay...recently, there was something very noticeable in the Run DEA Luxury Suites.
Alexander: No comment.
OGMSJ: But Alex, people are wondering how you came into possession...
Alexander: No comment.
OGMSJ: You just said you have nothing to hide.
Alexander: And now i'm saying no comment. This interview is over.
OGMSJ: But Alex...
Alexander: Ask me again and what Davin did to you will seem like foreplay. Now let's get out of here.
OGMSJ: Yes Alex.
*Fade Out*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:27:23 GMT -5
Alexis Darling enters a townie bar in Springfield, VT. She goes up to the bar and orders a martini. She pays for it and looks around. Finally, in the dark, she sees her appointment sitting in a booth towards the back.
LD: Mr. McNasty, it's so good to see you again.
SM: Of course it is, lass. Boys, give us a few minutes.
The other members of Gaelic Storm make themselves scarce and go play darts. Alexis has a seat.
LD: So, you agree?
SM: Aye, I do. Did you bring it?
LD: Of course I did. [She hands him an envelope]. It's all there.
SM: [opens the envelope, and flips through the contents.] You always come through for m, Lexie.
LD: Likewise. The rest will be delivered afterwards.
SM: You know, I am tempted to waive the fee. There are just some lines you don't cross.
LD: Yes well... Sometimes people just need to learn that lesson the hard way. [she finishes her martini.] I need to get back. Again, thank you.
SM: Anytime. Well, anytime you have one of those envelopes.
[Alexis smiles, and leaves.]
SM: Boys, I found us something fun to do!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:27:41 GMT -5
Davin Moreland turns a corner and nearly runs into Poe. Selena immediately scurries behind Poe. Davin removes his World Heavyweight Championship belt from around his waist and makes a show of placing it over his shoulder and tapping it.
DM: Well if it isn’t PedoPoe. Enjoy your little vacation by the lake with your jailbait?
Poe looks down and glares at Davin.
Poe: Absolutely…champ.
DM: Sounds good don’t it? Champ. I’d call you that…but you can’t seem to win a damn thing. You and Drago keep coming up short, which I hear you do a lot…ain’t that right little girl?
Davin mockingly waves at Selena.
DM: So, about my offer. You wanna get back in the ring with the champ?
Poe: I will. And I’ll take your World Title. But it won’t be now. I’ll hand it to you, Davin. You were right about something. I did take a step back with Gods & Monsters. I got complacent and over-confident. So, despite my current ranking…
Selena sticks her hand out, holding up three fingers.
DM: I see ya meat.
Poe: I need to refocus before I step back in the ring with you, and from the looks of things…you seem to be doing the same. And when we do meet again, it’ll be a match like this company has never seen before. But first, I will startr my refocusing by taking out Johnny Adrenaline and Damon Wrath.
DM: I hope you’re right PedoPoe. Enjoy your rise from mediocrity then. And your jailbait there. I bet she’s a screamer.
Poe continues to glare at Davin.
Poe: I’m showing you respect here…champ. You can at least do the same.
DM: The very fact that I’m willing to step in the ring with you again is enough. Don’t push your luck.
Davin smiles and sidesteps Poe and continues down the hallway.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:27:59 GMT -5
*Spin and Outback Jack are in a quiet room, looking at a picture of Phantos and Lucios taped to the wall. *
Spin: I guess I have to try harder.
OBJ: Actually, your problem is you're thinking too much.
Spin: Really?
OBJ: Well, one way I could explain it is that after you compress the emotions into a tiny ball deep inside your core, you turn it into an energy source. It makes you empty of fear, hesitation, compassion...it makes you welcome pain, pain of others or yourself, as a reminder that you are still alive and ready to deal out more punishment to anyone who gets in your way.
Spin: I'll have to work on that.
OBJ: Don't think of it as work. Think of it as fun. Don't forget to enjoy kicking ass.
Spin: Maybe that's what I've been missing.
OBJ: Now, don't worry about wins and losses right away. When you try new stuff, there's often a few bumps in the road. Just stay motivated.
Spin: Well, it's easy to be motivated this week. We didn't get much respect from the champs, did we?
OBJ: That's right, mate. Use that as a little extra fuel for the fire. *OBJ gets the Jack of the Hinterlands expression on his face* I think I'm going to enjoy this.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:28:28 GMT -5
Back in the palatial IHOP locker room, Skurge and The Amnesiac look concerned. Skurge is pacing, while The Amnesiac sits on a barstool. Fezzik and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth are nowhere to be found. The Amnesiac speaks up.
AMN: So what are we gonna do? We've got a match tomorrow night, and we're down one member.
Skurge stops pacing.
Skurge: I've been thinking aboot this all day. Solly was taken under false pretenses. We need to get him out of their custody. We need a lawyer, and quick!
Suddenly, Johnnie Cochran steps into the locker room.
JC: Did someone say something about needing a lawyer?
S: Johnnie Cochran!
AMN: What in the blue fuck are you doing all the way up here in Vermont? Hey wait... aren't you dead?
JC: Most people don't know this about me, but Johnnie Cochran has got some superpowers.
S & AMN: What?!
JC: Yeah, I can hear things from miles away. And I'm also superfast. (MTA) Oh, and I can resurrect myself! How do you think I get so many criminals off with no more than a slap on the wrist.
S: I just thought it was good lawyering.
JC: No way! Johnnie Cochran runs so fast, he can reverse time. So getting judge's decsions reversed is like child's play. Alright, so where is this Solly guy being held at?
AMN: Last I heard, he was being transferred downtown to the Federal courthouse for questioning.
JC: So, all Johnnie Cochran has to do is come up with a way to get Solly out of jail in time for your Campeonas de Trios match tomorrow night?
S: Well, it's Chimpanzees on Trikes, but yeah, that's the general idea.
JC: And how much money you guys got?
AMN: Well, between the two of us... I dunno... $20?
JC: And how about this Solly guy? What's he willing to shell out for a good lawyer?
Skurge and The Amnesiac start laughing out loud.
JC: What's so funny?
S: There's absolutely no way SYB would ever pay for a lawyer. $20 is all that IHOP has. Take it or leave it.
JC: Alright, I'll make you guys a deal. I can't take this case for that little, but I've got a jooish cousin, Joonie Cochran, who will work pro bono for you.
S & AMN: WE'LL TAKE IT!
*FADE*
*FADE BACK IN TO A COURTROOM*
SYB and Joonie Cochran are sitting at the defense's table, comparing nose sizes. Surprisingly, Cochran has SYB outnosed by half an inch. Marcia Cross sits across the aisle as the prosecutor. Skurge and The Amneisac are sitting behind SYB and JC, and Judge Lance Ito is presiding over the hearing. We can hear Skurge and The Amnesiac whispering back and forth.
S: What the hell? It's like the OJ case all over again. Talk about outdated references!
Kayfabe glares at Skurge from behind the court reporter's desk, but she continues transposing the trial.
AMN: Yeah, and where the hell did they get Judge Ito? I thought that old Asian dude retired?!
S: No way. Ito continues to hold office as a Los Angeles Superior Court Judge. He is regarded as an expert in the area of the use of spoken-language interpreters in courtroom proceedings and regularly teaches at the Judicial College of California and Chapman University School of Law.
AMN: Have you been reading Wikipedia again?
Ito bangs his gavel, and calls the courtroom to order. He reads off the charges against SYB:
LI: Solly Ya Bastard. You have been charged with intent to commmit treason and intent to purchase illegal firearms. How do you plead?
JC: Mr. Bastard pleas 'Not Guilty', Your Honor.
LI: Very well, Mr. Cochran. Go ahead and present your evidence.
JC: Well, Your Honor... what we have here is the classic misdirection of one person taking advantage of another person. We have photo and video evidence of a Ms. Fire Woman utilizing my clients laptop minutes before Mr. Bastard was picked up for his supposed intent to purchase illegal firearms.
LI: That means nothing. It doesn't prove that Mr. Bastard didn't visit the illegal firearms website.
Marcia Cross: We have records of Solly visiting free porn sites and downloading pirated music.
JC: OY! That's only because he's too cheap to buy it. Which brings me to my next piece of evidence. I'd like to submit this packet of information as exhibit A, Your Honor.
The bailiff takes a folder from Joonie and hands it to Judge Ito. Ito looks over the information. He nods.
JC: As you can see from Mr. Bastard's bank records there, he has never paid for anything that wasn't absolutely required to live.
LI: It appears so.
JC: Those records, Your Honor, stem all the way back to his childhood, when he first opened his bank account.
LI: This is very compelling evidence, Mr. Cochran. Prosecutor, any further remarks?
MC: No, Your Honor. The prosecution rests.
LI: And you, Mr. Cochran? Your closing statement?
Cochran stands up. He faces the audience that has now gathered in the courtroom. He clears his throat.
JC: Ladies and gentlemen, Your Honor, and my opposing counsel. I am here defending a true mensch who has done nothing wrong. He might have been a schlemiel for letting a goy like Firewoman use his computer, but he's no terrorist. He has no history of ever purchasing illegal firearms, and in fact, he's so jooish, he has no records of purchasing ANYTHING. PERIOD. Let's put a kibosh on these charges. OY! So in closing: If the defendent's a joo, you must not pursue.
The crowd sends up a cheer, and SYB actually sheds a tear. Ito bangs his gavel.
LI: Ladies and gentlemen, settle down. I could remand this to a higher court, but I've decided to rule on it here and now. Mr. Bastard, please rise.
Solly stands up.
LI: Mr. Bastard. I've heard the evidence here, and I'm convinced that you're no terrorist. Although, you could probably use to lighten up a little in the wallet. I find you, Solly Ya Bastard, not guilty of all charges.
All three members of IHOP stand and start high-fiving.
LI: Mr. Bastard. You're free to go.
The bailiff comes over and removes SYB's handcuffs.
LI: Please make sure to pay the court costs on your way out.
SYB: COURT COSTS?!?
*FADE TO BLACK*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:29:18 GMT -5
*AA is sitting in the Destroyitarium enjoying some fine wine. He has just finished watching SYB get off scott-free. Stank walks up to AA's table.*
Stank - What are you doing here, Alan?
AA - I'm enjoying some fine wine and I just finished watching SYB get off scott-free.
Stank - Go away, Alan.
AA - Wait! We're tag team partners this week.
Stank - I'm painfully aware of that. We spoke earlier.
AA - So did you give it any thought?
Stank - No. I've been busy.
AA - Don't you want to be Chimpanzee Champs with me?
Stank - Shut the fuck up, Alan.
AA - Gah! Between your apathy and SYB getting out of jail...
Stank - I do care. I've just been preoccupied... How did SYB get the charges dropped, anyway?
AA - The Anemiac and some Canadian hired zombie Johnnie Cochran to help out.
Stank - ...
AA - ...
Stank - ...
AA - ...
Stank - ...
AA - ...
Stank - ...
AA - ...
Stank - ...
AA - ...
Stank - ...
AA - ...
Stank - ...
AA - No comment?
Stank - Not really, no.
AA - Well Scrooge, Hemophiliac, and Joo-Joo Bean aren't the only ones that can utilize a zombie. Allow me to introduce... JESUS!
Stank - My Lord and Savior?
AA - No! Uh... unless there's something I don't know about you two.
<Jesus C. Kidneypuncher walks into the room.>
Stank - I thought Carl Weathers killed you?
JCK - Yeah. Since then, The Chickenshit Heels have retained my services, off and on, over the years, to comedic effect. Have you not been paying attention?
Stank - Alan... this guy's presence strikes me as useless, and... unnecessary.
AA - We need him to punch SYB in the kidneys, giving us the best chance to capture the Chimpanzee de la Trees, championships.
Stank - ...
AA - ...
Stank - Kidneys?
AA - That's right.
Stank - Both kidneys?
AA - Of course.
Stank - I'm going to punch you in the kidneys, if you don't leave.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:29:52 GMT -5
*"Welcome To The Jungle" comes over the PA system as the fans...um...don't exactly know how to react because Austin Cage, dressed in a suit, comes from behind the curtain and down the ramp. In the ring, already set up is two comfortable looking chairs and what appears to be the Erictron 6000. Cage, wearing light sunglasses, slides in the ring. The fans are...kind of cheering in Springfield, VT, as Cage grabs a microphone and sits down in the chair.*
Cage: Springfield, what's up?!?!!!
*The fans cheer. It's a cheap pop, after all.*
Cage: For all of you who don't remember me, my name is Austin Cage. I came to the OOWF after a brief MMA carrer in search of fame and recognition. However, I did not recognize challenging a guy for the PHWF Championship in my second match. That man, Eric O'Mac...
*And the fans absolutely explode at the mention of Eric O'Mac. It's funny how time heals all wounds.*
Cage:...Yes, Eric O'Mac kind of put me out of action, and because of him, I will never wrestle again. I did sign an OOWF Contract for a year, so I'm keeping busy backstage, and I'd love to become a manager or a referee for this great company, but that is neither here nor there.
Anyways, the reason I am here is to host 15 MINUTES OF FAME WITH ERIC O'MAC! Except, this version is NOT with Eric O'Mac. But, as Eric mentioned a few weeks ago, when he signed a new contract with the OOWF, he was given a......semi-weekly segment. Since he was put out of commission a few weeks ago, I was hand picked to take over this week!
*The crowd quietly cheers.*
Cage: So, ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time will be fighting for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship at Mayhem tomorrow night...a former Trios Champion, and a former partner of Eric O'Mac....TYTAN!
*The crowd cheers as "For The Love of God" hits the PA system. Tytan walks down the ramp, wearing his in-ring gear. He gets in the ring, shakes hands with Cage, and takes a seat.*
Cage: Tytan, thanks for appearing on the show. How are you?
Tytan: I'm feelin' alright, Cage.
Cage: Alright, Tytan, since you've arrived to the OOWF, you've definetely been a force to be reckoned with. And tomorrow night, you've got a World Title shot against Davin Moreland. What are your thoughts?
Tytan: My thoughts? I'm going to go in to Mayhem tomorrow and kick Moreland's ass all over Springfield, Vermont!
*Crowd erupts. Another cheap pop.*
Cage: Fair enough. How have you trained for this big match?
Tytan: I'll treat this match like any other match. I'll train hard, be prepared, and when the time comes, I'll go out there and kick ass.
Cage: Now, as we've seen this week, everyone has kind of not been really focused on their match at hand. Firewoman is more concerned with you after your actions than concerned with Moosehead Jack, and Davin Moreland seems to be preoccupied with your partner Poe, and Stank. What are your thoughts regarding this?
Tytan: All that needs to be said is that little bitch and the rest of Davin's cronies need to stay out of my way, otherwise I can't guarantee they won't get hurt. I did what I did, and of course they'll take their cheap shots, but I can say with certainty if any of them had the balls to get in the ring with me, they won't be pulling...
*CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.*
*The camera pulls out to reveal Davin Moreland clapping at the top of the ramp. Tytan immedietely stands up and Davin walks down the ramp and rolls in the ring. Austin Cage stands up and holds a mic to Davin Moreland's face.*
Davin: I don't know what universe you are living in, Tytan....but this belt here...
*Davin rubs the OOWF World Championship that is around his waist*
Davin:...this says that I am the champion. Meaning I don't have to sit in the back and listen to all of your idle threats. All I have to do is come down here and do something about it, fuck-o.
*Tytan raises his mic.*
Tytan: Do you want some, champ? Because I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere.
Davin: I'll take care of you tomorrow night. Just in case you forgot, I'm Run DEA. Try and fucking stop me.
*Davin turns around....and then sucker punches Tytan! Tytan and Davin are brawling in the ring, as Austin Cage just steps back! Tytan and Davin brawl into the outside of the ring and up the ramp!*
*As the Davin and Tytan brawl to the back...Austin Cage doesn't notice Alexander Darling slip in behind him....creeping up behind him...and as Cage turns around, Darling locks him in and hits.....THE SMACKDOWN?!?! Darling uses Eric O'Mac's finishing move on Cage, who is knocked out cold. Darling soaks up the boos in the middle of the ring as "Princes of the Universe" hits the PA...*
*....and we fade out.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:30:14 GMT -5
Firewoman is TALKING~! on her Sprint mobile phone. FW: Yes, I saw. …….. Congratulations………Well, yeah, the end sucked. If I had a flamethrower, I’d have toasted the schmozz button……No I don’t……I PROMISE….…..No, I already told you, I’m staying here………..things are…better……………..No, of course I don’t trust him one hundred percent, but I’m willing to give it a shot. ……… Yes, I’ll watch, of course, but right now I have to make another call. Ciao. She hangs up, dials, then sees Tytan, Jonathan Steele and four Ultimo, Inc. Security guards walking down the hallway, after Tytan’s appearance on 15 Minutes of Fame FW: Yes, I need to place a delivery order. One case of Tullamore Dew. The name on the account is “Alexander Darling”….yes, just like it sounds. T: You know….this…..THIS is all your fault!! FW: Hold on, one moment…..[She covers the receiver]….I’ll be with you in just a minute, Tytan……[she goes back to the phone]….Oh good, that’s great. Um deliver to wherever we are next, I can’t remember, you should have the schedule, right?……Yeah, that sounds about right……No, no, don’t deliver it to us, deliver it to…. At that point, Tytan takes the phone from Firewoman, and closes it. FW: Well, I guess I’ll be with you right now. What’s on your mind? T: I’d like to know just what you think you’re doing? FW: I’m ordering a case of whiskey. If you want, I can order some for you— T: No!! This!! This….this….NICE stuff. FW: Johnnie-cakes, I don’t know what you’re giving Tytan, but you really need to change the dosage. I think it’s making him paranoid. JS: That’s Mr. Steele to you. FW: Well, la dee da. Look, Tytan, I have an order to place, a match with a psychopath to prepare for— JS: A psychopath vs. a sociopath. However will we tell the difference? FW: I’m the sociopath. And I’m the one with the boobs. I can see how you might not get that part. JS: Charming.. FW: As I was saying, I don’t have time for whatever game it is you’re playing now. T: Game? GAME? You’re the game player!! I blew up your motorcycle, and all I get from you are debutante smiles and small talk? Firewoman stands up FW: I would like for you to give me back my phone, please. T: Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it? FW: I’m going to take it from you. And then I’m going to go back to my phone call. T: Now, that is something we’d ALL like to see. Six on one. FW: Those sound like great odds to me. Hand it over. Now. A Mexican stand off commences, and no one flinches for an uncomfortably long period of time. FW: I got nothing but time, but I’m running real short on patience. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way— T: Then bring it. Firewoman sizes up the situation, and then in a flash her right hand strikes out with a palm-heel to Tytan’s face, narrowly missing breaking his nose, but driving his head back. She stretches her fingers out and grabs his eyes. Tytan’s hands instinctively go to his face, dropping the phone. Firewoman pushes him back and drops down to grab the phone, and is quickly back up FW: Why do they always choose the hard way? JS: You’re going to regret that. [Steele makes a signal with his hand, and two of the four security guards advance. Firewoman backs up against the wall] FW: Yeah, I wouldn’t bet on that. Tytan comes between the two guards and the three advance, while Firewoman has lost any pretense of ‘debutante smiles’ and has a different smile, one that says “Oh yeah, bring on the ultraviolence.’ Before it can get out of hand, Davin Moreland comes down the hall. DM: Now now, Fire, what have we talked about? Six on one? That’s not fair. FW: I can handle it, Davin. DM: I know, I meant for them. Although if Tytan didn’t get enough of me in the ring just now, I’m always up for a second round. The commotion brings GM the Rick out from his office GMtR: What the blazing hell is going on out here? [Everyone falls silent] You all need to get back to your locker rooms and dial the tension down to zero. You’ll get your chances at Mayhem, and not before. In fact, I can’t stress that last bit enough. Save it for the ring. All parties exchange glares with each other and then walk towards their respective areas of the arena. The ninjacam follows Davin and Firewoman back towards the RunDEA Lockerroom, sponsored by Aquafina DM: You almost ruined everything FW: He started it. Literally, this time, I was just— DM: Look, remember what you said, and what we agreed to. Go, like…meditate or something. FW: Fine.
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