OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1

[mooseheadjack]

MidWeek Mayhem
OOWF Invitational Lineup
Live! From Sac City, Iowa

Non-Tournament Matches

Donovan Viper vs. Concrete TG – World Title Match
Semaj B vs. Smark vs. Thim Reynolds – Winner gets final spot in the Tournament

ROUND 1*

(1) Hardbody Harris
(32) Semaj B/Smark/TR winner

(4) Canadian Dragon
(29) Brad Smoley

(5) Outback Jack
(28) Chris Cole

(6) Moosehead Jack
(27) Ecosystem

(9) LD Williams
(24) Carl Coolname

(10) Microplay
(23) Chris Alt

(13) BlackDragon
(20) GatorBait

(14) EricO’Mac
(19) SoulDragon

(17) Grunt
(16) Johnny Adrenaline

(18) Niles Anderson
(15) Mark Vander

(21) UnderDawg
(12) GimmickMan

(22) LI
(11) Blade

(25) AX-man
(8) Beast

(26) Endo
(7) Morte

(30) Attitude Adjuster
(3) Hellion

(31) JW Westgaard
(2) Corax

*ok, the seeds are based on your rankings immediately after the January 30 Dance of Death PPV. Donovan Viper and Concrete TG were excluded since they are champions. So, based on the rankings, Hardbody Harris is the #1 seed, Corax is #2 etc, etc. This is the only time the rankings will come into play, this weeks winners will not be re-seeded based on rankings, you just follow the normal way a tourney plays out. Any questions, just send all questions and complaints to the OOWF Questioning Answering Department, 4444 Bryant Street, Piscataway, NJ 08855, or call 1-800-544-OOWF

[mooseheadjack]

On a completely black screen the following appears.


B...
S...
B...

Intrigue...
Bitter cold...
Destruction...

I'm...
Back...
Beware...

[mooseheadjack]

Chris Alt is just another rookie, and he's going down...

[mooseheadjack]

Full Brackets:

www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=92442&tclass=OOWF%20Invitational

[mooseheadjack]

well this could be VERY interesting... i could knock off BOTH Dragons in the first 2 rounds before a (potential) matchup with my Tag partner... heh heh heh

[mooseheadjack]

yes very interesting, I may be going up against both tag champs in the 1st two rounds....

[mooseheadjack]

woof

[mooseheadjack]

:Originally posted by birdyman47
yes very interesting, I may be going up against both tag champs in the 1st two rounds....

No, no you won't. Because that's exactly MY plan. And I plan to be around after the second round.

[mooseheadjack]

So I'm so lowely that I have to qualify for the invitational do I . . . well that's fair I suppose. Fair because I'm new and am at the bottom of the rankings but it hardly seems fair on Semaj B and Smark.

I mean I may look harmless enough, and I may dress like a male nurse but there's nothing wrong with that, it's my job after all, but they don't know what I can do. They haven't had a chance to see me in the ring. They don't know just how much this is going to hurt them . . . still, It won't take them long to find out.

And after them, Hardbody. Well it'll be an experience - and at least I'll get to appologise face to face for the missunderstanding with the frogs!!!

[mooseheadjack]

:Originally posted by birdyman47
yes very interesting, I may be going up against both tag champs in the 1st two rounds....

And then you woke up...

Dude, I am seeded #2 for a reason. Buhlee dat!

[mooseheadjack]

(a heavily bandaged Moosehead Jack is in the back watching the monitor, still seething over Semaj B’s attack when Ecosystem storms by, MHJ steps in front of him)

MHJ: We need to talk
Eco: Yeah I think we do, things are gonn….
MHJ: Just stop, let me talk first. What was the deal with you reaming Grunt out there? You were the one who got pinned, not him.
Eco: Yeah well, HE was supposed to have MY back, where was he?
MHJ: All you had to do was drop that idiot Alt and the match was over, instead you let Coolname kick you in the mouth, you shouldn’t need Gruunt o help you finish off your matches.
Eco: Are you telling me how to wrestle?
MHJ: Look, all I’m saying is you shouldn’t need Grunt’s help to win, especially when the guy is half dead, damn, I mean finish him off already.
Eco: Big talk for someone who just got punked out by Semaj B.
MHJ <glaring> Do you really want to go there? Look, forget about Dance of Death, forget about Grunt and Alt and Semaj B. I need to know if you are still on the same page as the rest of the Establishment, lately you have been…..lacking in your duties.
Eco: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
MHJ: It means that you book me to face Viper three days before the Dance of Death PPV, I would love nothing more than to beat his scrawny Ministry lovin’ ass all over the ring, but it was three nights before my chance to finally put Concrete away. You wanted me to recruit Niles into the Establishment, then he doesn’t even make a Dance, he has to face that Thim guy. Morte and LI should have had a one on one title match against the Dragons already, I should have had another shot at Concrete, and are you even aware that Endo is part of the Establishment now.
Eco: The guy who eats rats?
MHJ: That was ONE TIME, that we know of anyway. Anyhow, so what are you doing? I am beginning to think that maybe the rumors are true.
Eco: What rumors
MHJ: the bullshit that Dragon is saying about Microplay being your top priority. About him having you on the take, lining your pockets.
Eco<holds his head and turns red> Now you listen to me, you think this job is so easy? YOU TAKE IT, I have people screaming in my ear left and right, I have a faction that I supposedly run, but everyone really thinks YOU are the boss, I have Microplay screaming about Dragon stealing the title, I have an incompetent tag team partner all I hear is bitching and complaining. On top of all that, I haven’t won a match in forever. But that’s all going to change, all that changes at the OOWF Invitational, I am going to win that tournament and prove my worth. Who do I have in the first round?
MHJ: See? That’s what I’m talking about, you have no idea what is going on, you got ME in the first round, Moosehead Jack vs. Ecosystem, and as if that’s not bad enough, you got Morte and Endo fighting in the first round as well. How are we supposed to dominate when we are fighting each other?
Eco is real quiet for a moment: Moose, I need this more than you do.
MHJ: What?
Eco: I NEED this, I need this tournament, I need to turn it all around, so I can get some respect around here, so here’s how its gonna go down, you are gonna throw that match.
MHJ: Excuse me?1?
Eco <Turning red> I SAID YOU ARE GONNA LAY DOWN, I AM STILL THE LEADER OF THE ESTABLISHMENT, AND I AM THE DAMN GM AROUND HERE! I SAID YOU ARE TAKING A DIVE, AND THAT’S HOW ITS GONNA BE! I AM GOING TO GET WHAT I DESERVE!!! <Eco storms off in a rage leaving MHJ standing glaring at him>
MHJ: Yeah, you’ll get what you deserve all right

Trust me.

[mooseheadjack]

*The camera show Canadian Dragon slumped against a wall, holding something in his hands*

CD: "The worse thing a man can do is become what he hates. I hate greed and ego, yet when I had the chance to help establish the OOWF Title as meaningfull, I instead listened to the cheers and lept through the air....and it wasn't just me and Hardbody who went through the table...it was the OOWF Title.*

*CD stands up to reveal himself holding the OOWF title. He opens the safe and locks the belt back up.*

CD: "It's funny what that belt has done to people. It's made people go crazy and do things they wouldn't normally do...take risk they normally wouldn't take. Compromise themselves to hold onto what they think has valuse. It's even made people turn their backs on their friends."

*The camera zooms in on Dragon's eyes*

CD: "I wonder how good your friends are Viper? See when Micro's good friend Eco stopped paying attention Microplay lost his belt due to being booked in a triple threat match. sO you have to wonder... how long before The Ministry asks you to lay down for their leader? How long before your dream becomes a nightmare? Oh and Microplay...you may have put a hurdle in front of me...but when I win the Invitational the OOWF title will have meaning again."

*Fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

*We see Attitude Adjuster at a desk, furiously composing a letter. *

Dear OOWF Questioning Answering Department,

What do your bookers think they’re doing? Do they know who I am? How important I am to the OOWF’s television ratings? Please let me explain the error of their ways so you may correct it before the OOWF Invitational Tournament begins.

First off, I’m ranked No. 30. I’m sure your tournament director is dyslexic or something and he really meant for me to be the No. 3 seed. After all, I’ve twice defeated the former Intercontinental champion, Johnny Adrenaline. I just won the Intercontinental Contender Dance of Death at the Dance of Death PPV this weekend. I defeated Beast, who won the World Title Contender Dance of Death. And need I remind you that I defeated Concrete TG in the historic Sharpie on a Pole match? I’m No. 30? The OOWF ought to create a title for me!

Secondly, you’re forcing me to face a tag team specialist in the first round of the tournament? Some guy named Helium or Hellfire or something. Wait, let me check www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=92442&tclass=OOWF%20Invitational. Hellion. What kind of name is Hellion? And not only does he have a funny name, but he’s a tag team wrestler. Why do I have to slum in the neighborhood named Tag Team? Those people are beneath me.

The same holds true for my second round opponents. Eric O’ Mac or Soul Dragon? Come on, Mr. Bookerman, get real. I can beat either of those guys with one arm tied behind my back. My only ray of hope is that I may meet again Mooseheadjack, to avenge the only real loss to my otherwise stellar record here in the OOWF. I also noticed that to keep certain wrestlers from being embarrassed early in the tournament, you put LD Williams and Johnny Adrenaline in the opposite side of the bracket. Maybe you have some brains after all.

Finally, I called the 800-number but for some reason a message claimed my number was blocked from calling. I’m sure this is an error. Please fix it immediately.

Sincerely,
Attitude Adjuster

Disclaimer: No material from this letter may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way without express consent of Attitude Adjuster, Inc. LLD, Esquire, MD.

[mooseheadjack]

MHJ SMASH ECO?

[mooseheadjack]

JW Westgaard to random cameraman: we shall see what these so called tag champs are made of....the may be good when they have their teammate there to break up three counts and watch each other's back.
Ttell you what Corax...since you seem so confident....If I beat you in the first round, how about you and Hellion give me and a partner of my Choosing a title shot.
But that would only be a wise decision if think you can beat me with out your little friend out there with ya....

<fade to black>

[mooseheadjack]

Hellion & Corax watch the TV screen in their dressing room.

C - Who the hell is this guy? Seriously, could you tell me? I don't even think I've ever seen him before.

H - I know! He thinks he deserves a shot at tag team gold?

*they bang forarms and pump their fists*

H - And what's with the Hockey gear.

C - Totally, he must think he's The Goon or something.

H - Who?

C - Nevermind...


<Fade>

[mooseheadjack]

*As Eco walks away, the remainder of the Establishment comes in from the other side of the frame*

Endo: Hey Moose, what's up?
MHJ: Just talking to Ecosystem about the brackets.
Endo: Oh, haven't seen those yet.
*the other Establishment members crowd around the brackets.
E: Ooh, niles, you got Vander, nice. You beat him once, you'll do it again...
NA: Yeah, looks like it should be an easy draw for me in the first round.
LI: <something in Japanese>
MHJ: Yup, dead on.

*you can almost see the lightbulbs going off over everyone's heads*

NA: Hey.... wait a minute...
MHJ: Yeah. Good draws for us, huh?
Endo: So we've got Me, Morte, and Niles in one clump, you, Micro, and LI in another, and Grunt off in no man's land by himself.
Morte: Yeah, and after the first round at least two of us are out of there. This sucks.

*MHJ punches the wall in frustration, going clean through it. He calmly extracts his bloodied hand from the hole and storms off down the hall.*

E: I didn't think it was that bad.
NA: Maybe he's got something else on his mind.
LI: <again, the Japanesse>
NA: Thanks for reminding me. Wanna come help?
*LI nodds and LI and NA run off leaving Morte and Endo*

E: Jeez, so it's you and me in the first round. Well, it sucks, but I guess there's not much we can do about it. Well, good luck pal.
*Endo and Morte lock hands. Morte can DEFINITELY feel the squeeze from Endo's claw hand.*
E: Just remember, teammates or not, you give me a chance, and my claw will take you down. *Releases the handshake* So, see you in the gym at 2 for abs and tris.
*Endo walks off, and the camera fades out*

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ #9,999,999,999 is about to conduct an interview with "The Main Event" Chris Cole.

SFJ: Chris, you are set to enter the OOWF Invitational and you face off against Outback Jack. What are your thoughts?

CC: Outback, I've already beat you in a tag match and now I'm going to wipe the floor with you in singles competition. You think I'm afraid of some Animal Planet reject? Let's see Outback survive The Headliner. This tournament is the rebirth of my OOWF career. After I go through 5 of OOWF's best I will be the number one contender for the OOWF Title.

SFJ: So if you won you would go after singles glory. What about 3 Piece Set? You wouldn't ask for a shot at the tag titles?

CC: Look me and Ax are cool with each other. We both have come to the understanding that a shot at the OOWF title is something you can't give up. 3 Piece Set is alive and well and damn Ax and myself are so damn talented we can take those tag titles down the road anyway. For the next month me and the Ax-man are singles stars.

SFJ: You say you can win the titles anytime but Revolution X became the number 1 contenders and they have beaten you guys twice.

CC: What the hell did you say to me?? What right do you have bringing that up. Alt and Coolname are lucky sons of bitches. The only beat us because of Hardbody and gimmick and at Dance of Death 3 Pieve Set didn't get beat. Look the OOWF Invitational is what is on our plates right now but Hardbody and Gimmick are going to get what is coming to them and then 3 Piece Set is going to embarass Revolution X and expose them for the pretenders that they are. "The Main Event" is in the OOWF Invitional and I don't care if I have to go through Outback Jack, Hardbody Harris, Gimmickman, or even the Ax-man I am going to win. Now excuse me I've got a plane to catch.

[mooseheadjack]

the camera fades up and we're in a dimly lit room. the door opens and the lights are turned on. we see it's canadian dragon walking into the room. we also see this room contains a very familiar looking safe with a very familiar world title belt inside it. CD kneels in front of the safe, does the combonation, and as he opens it THE BEAST POPS OUT!

CD: WHAT THE FU--!

the beast is now on top of CD, who fell backwards to the ground.

Beast: the honor system!
CD: what?
B: from this point, i'm putting you on the honor sustem!
CD: what the hell are you talking about?
B: let me make one thing clear to you. i've been trying to get a match with viper for a very long time. for reasons i cant even fathom ecosystem would never let it happen. but now... now there's nothing he can do about it. viper's got the title and i won the #1 contenders match.
CD: that's all very interesting. what's it have to do with me?
B: after i kick viper's ass, i have no interest in walking out without that title belt.
CD: and so you were in my safe to take the belt.
B: NO! i'm not taking the belt. that's where the honor system comes in. i'm leaving the belt right where it is. but when i walk to the ring for my title match, i had better see that belt sitting in the corner. otherwise, the next time i POP OUT will be ON YOUR FACE!
CD:well... you already kinda popped out on my face this ti--
B: SHUT UP! well... next time... on your.... AH SCREW IT!

beast punches CD in the face and jumps up crashing through the ceiling to leave.



fade out

[mooseheadjack]

Viper, Corax, and Hellion are in the Ministry locker room celebrating to champagne, confetti, and hookers (actually, Sexy Female Journalists 81, 97, 145, 146, and 148). Hellion and Corax have their belts on their shoulders, letting the SFJs touch the belts. Underdawg is watching all of this with his stoic, canine eyes.

V: Woohoo! We did it! The Ministry rules the roost! Woohoo!

C: Damn skippy! You the man, Donnie! You the MAN!

H: And the boss is back! The boss is back!

The three give Underdawg a big manly hug of missing-you-very-muchness.

The three immediately realizes that looks gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), let go, and keep partying.

C: We got our gold back! And Donnie, you got yours, too!

V: Well, no. Canadian Dragon still has my belt. MY BELT! Oh, it feels good to say that!

H: We could just go massacre him for it. If only we knew where that safe was.

V: Nah. I'll fight him for it. I can beat him, no problem. He's a chump.

Underdawg puts his hands up and the three new champions stop and turn to him.

U: My children. You have performed well, and I am proud. For this, I shall reward you. To you, Hellion, my rat. Hold out your hand.

H: Hot damn, Dawg! A glass eye! This is sweet! It's got a blazing fireball where the cornea and retina should be! With an "M" in the fireball! Sweet!

Hellion takes off the eyepatch and puts in his new glass eye. He then puts the eyepatch back on his eye.

U: To you Corax, my crow. Open this locker.

Corax opens the locker, and out walks Sexy Female Journalist #154 naked, and covered in pudding.

C: Aw crap! My pudding!

U: And to you, Viper, my snake, and my greatest pupil. I present to you, this.

Viper is handed a belt, where the front buckle is decorated with a skull that has the letter "M" on it's head, with a twisted snake on each side of the skull. Embossed on the top of the front, "OOWF World Heavyweight Champion". The bottom, a plate that reads "Donovan Viper"

V: Holy shit, boss. You... you... you shouldn't have.

U: No. Canadian Dragon shoudn't be going around taking what's not his. Why bother, when you can your own. You're the champion. You deserve it.

Viper looks like he's about to be in tears... He puts his new custom belt on his shoulder and turns around to the camera.

V: OOWF, you're looking at the best damn wrestler here. The king of the mountain, the top of the heap. Ain't nobody going to stop me, (puts arms around Hellion and Corax), and my boys here from running rampant around this place. The Ministry runs things around here now. And we got the hardware (Corax points at each belt) to prove it.

Viper, Corax, and Hellion each makes a "three horsemen" hand signal and turn their hands upside down, into "M"s.

Underdawg has his arms outstreatched as Hellion writes the letter "M" on the forehead of Sexy Journalist 146

U: REST IN EEEEEEEESE!! ARF!

[mooseheadjack]

A sexy female journalist catches up with L.D. Williams:

SFJ: “ L.D., Can we get your thoughts on your match at Dance of Death?’

LD: “Well, it seems Moosehead Jack was right. There’s a little darkness in all of us, and that darkness is particularly strong in Concrete TG. Twice in the past week I’ve had Concrete beaten, and twice, people have interfered. Not exactly the actions of a hero.”

SFJ: “But you’ve been known to take advantage of outside interference as well.”

LD: “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. In fact, I take it as a compliment. Concrete doesn’t often resort to underhanded tactics, so he must know I’ve got his number.”

SFJ: “Be that as it may, Attitude Adjuster used a fireball to stop you at Dance of Death…”

LD: “The fireball is the weapon of the weak. It’s used by people who want to make an impression, but don’t want to get their hands dirty. And that pretty much sums up Mr. Alan Capps, his wrestling career, his supposed acting, and his personality. He wants the accolades, but he doesn’t want to earn them.”

SFJ: “Attitude Adjuster has also expressed dissatisfaction with the brackets in the OOWF invitational. From his comments, it seems that he wants to face you and / or Johnny Adrenaline.”

LD: “AA says things like that because he’s seen the brackets and he knows it won’t happen. He’ll never last that long. Don’t worry AA, you don’t need the tournament to face me. I’m sure we’ll run into each other in a parking lot, or a locker room, or even a back alley. And remember, no legal action of any kind. For anything. Ever.”

SFJ: “One last question. Do you have an opinion on your first round OOWF Invitational opponent, Carl Coolname.”

LD: “Honestly, I don’t know that much about Carl Coolname. At this point, I don’t need to. I’ll learn all I need to know at Midweek Mayhem. I’m not foolish enough to take him lightly – that’s something AA would do – but the fact is, I’m going to destroy Carl Coolname…it’s what I do."

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF’s Weekly Press Conference Held in the Sac City, Iowa Raddison Hotel Conference Room


Ecosystem comes to the podium

Ecosystem – ok lets make this quick.

Reporter: What are you planning to do about the World Title situation?
Eco: What situation?
R: Well, Canadian Dragon has the title locked up in a safe, even though Donovan Viper won the title at Dance of Death.
Eco: I thought Canadian Dragon was one of the tag team champions?
R: No, that’s SoulDragon and BlackDragon, and they lost the titles at Dance of Death
Eco: Oh! Canadian Dragon, yes yes, um, well we have our crack legal team Dewey, Cheatem & Howe looking into the matter. But for right now, since Dragon was technically the last legal holder of the World Title, it remains his property until he gives it back to us, or something. So for now, Viper will have to use the title that UnderDawg gave him.
Reporter2: What if Canadian Dragon never returns the belt?
Eco: Um, well then, I don’t know.
R2: Okaaaay, would you like to comment on your altercation with Moosehead Jack?
Eco: Moose knows his role in the Establishment, he is a team player, I have full confidence that he will do what he is told.
R2: You fully expect Moosehead Jack to lay down at your match tomorrow night?
Eco: Absolutly
R2: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight
R3: Does the OOWF have any plans to expand into foreign countries?
Eco: Um, well we are going to run a show in Wyoming soon.
R3: Wyoming is in the United States
Eco: Oh, yeah, THAT Wyoming, um I mean, you don’t think MHJ is here? I mean oversees, sure, yeah, probably.
R4: Eco, if you don’t mind me saying, you seem awfully distracted.
Eco: yeah, well, I have to win.
R4: What?
Eco: <getting angry> LOOK WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? DO YOU THINK IT IS EASY TO RUN ALL THIS? HUH? DO YOU THINK IT IS EASY TO RUN A SHOW IN PLACES LIKE SAC CITY AND BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY? I AM A LEADER DAMMIT, I AM THE LEADER OF THE OOWF. Right? I mean, it IS me. There are so many people yelling, and Beast won’t stop crashing through the walls, and Corax and his pudding, and there are Dragons everywhere, and what is a gryphon anyway……

<at this point eco sort of wanders out of the room, ending the press conference>

[mooseheadjack]

Ecosystem walks away from the podium and accidently bumps into Attitude Adjuster, who for some reason thinks he's the featured speaker at the press conference.

AA: Hey Eco, buddy! How you doing? Hey, I know things are a little tough right now, and I think I can help you out. You know, I help you, you help me? Anyway, I remember you talking about needing an attorney for some reason or another, and those guys you have working for you couldn't sell Slurpees at a 7-11. Here, take this card. This is my attorney. Well, he's also my agent and my tailor, but you get the point...

(Eco tries to brush past, but AA keeps walking with him.)

Anyway, so I've helped you. Now you can help me. You know, I saw how you've convinced MHJ to lay down for you. Can you do the same to Helium, the guy I face in the first round? I know he's just a tag team wrestler and I could probably beat him anyway, but that would make life so easy for me in the rest of the tournament. I mean, you do want me to win the tournament, right? It would ratings gold! Gold, I tell you!

(Ecosystem finally brushes past without a word.)

So we're cool? Alright, we're cool. Now I'll go out there and give the crowd what they've been clamoring for."

(AA walks to the podium, but now the only people remaining are a 7-year-old boy picking his nose and a reporter from the Wyoming Gazette.)

WG Reporter: Is it true that the OOWF is coming to Wyoming? That would be the biggest thing that happened to the state since Fennis Dembo.

AA: (under his breath) That's it. I'm firing my agent. Well, bad publicity is better than no publicity. (To reporter) Yes, it's true, AA will be coming to a wrestling ring near you very shortly. Did you know that I beat Concrete TG in a Sharpie....

[mooseheadjack]

Viper runs into the conference room and up to the podium at the press conference with his new belt on his shoulder

V: Yo. World Champ. Right here. Holla.

Viper runs off the podium and out of the room.

[mooseheadjack]

Following Viper's lead, Corax runs in to the room and up to the podium at the press conference with his newly returned belt on his shoulder.


C: Yo. 2 time Tag Team Champ. Right here too. Buhlee dat!

Corax notices the crowd losing interest and starting to pack up so he kicks the podium over as he flees the room, giggling with insane glee.