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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 9:50:05 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, Nebraska
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] LD Williams vs. Poe
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Firewoman vs. Chris Cole
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] The Team From Down Under vs. IHOP
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match Three-Way Dance[/u] Matte vs. Seamus McNasty vs. DH Magnusson
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] The Heroes Guild vs. Alexis Darling, Phantos & Lucios
OOWF Invitational Semi-Finals[/u]
Stank vs. Chris Evans Moosehead Jack vs. Skurge
Alexander Darling vs. Bryce Larson The Dead vs. FF Capslock Eric O’Mac & Thim Reynolds vs. Tytan & Tyson Kincaid Davin Moreland vs. Damon Wrath
Card subject to corn futures
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 9:50:37 GMT -5
(Ultimo Inc. is walking back to their lockeroom after a successful Mayhem.)
Steele: Come on friends I will have the limo outside in one hour and we can go celebrate. That was a good job team.
Lola: Tytan. That was one hell of a match with MITB.
Tytan: Thanks Lola. Firewoman I am coming after you next.
(Ultimo Inc cheers and high fives each other. Just then they see Tyson Kinciad getting medical attention.)
Tytan: (Walks up to him) Buddy, are you okay?
TK: Get out of my face.
Tytan: Look I knew you were in trouble. I wanted you to still be able to wrestle. I mean come on man you and I are partners.
TK: You mean were partners.
Steele: So sorry there Tyson. If you look down the run down sheet for next week, you and Tytan are partners once again.
Tytan: So see you next week partner! (Tytan slaps him in the back)
Lola: Maybe I should get you guys matching shirts. Then you would really look like a team.
Steele: Now you are thinking like a member of Ultimo Inc.
(They walk off leaving Tyson feuming.)
Fade
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 9:50:59 GMT -5
**Matte is laying down in his hallway, using the OOWF Onslaught belt as a pillow.**
Matte: This pillow sucks.
**He pushes the belt aside and lays his head on the floor.**
Matte: This sucks worse.
**He sits up against the wall and pulls the belt back in with his foot. He picks it up and looks at it in approval.**
Matte: My first OOWF belt (somewhere, the OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship frowns). And to think, I didn't even know who, uh... that one guy, whatever his name is, (somewhere, Seamus McNasty frowns) was before winning this from him. That's kinda cool.
**Davin Moreland passes Matte in the hallway, telling Matte his spot on the card as he walks past.**
Davin: You've got Seamus and DH.
Matte: DH Smith?
**Davin has to stop to make sure Matte gets it.**
Davin: What? No, Magnusson.
Matte: Who's that? Actually, who are both of them?
Davin: Seamus? He's the guy you won that belt from.
Matte: Oh, that's who it was!
Davin: Yea, and DH Magnusson is the guy who basically gave you the win.
Matte: I thought his name was Angelo Barros.
Davin: What? No, no. You know the refs' names but not the wrestlers? Magnusson interfered while Barros was out.
Matte: Huh?
Davin: Ok, look...
Matte: No, nevermind. I don't need the history lesson. Thanks anyway.
Davin: But... Whatever, man. Good luck next week.
Matte: Luck is at losers.
Davin: Wha... What the fuck are you talking about?
Matte: CP Munk used to say that whenever someone mentioned luck.
Davin: Damn it, Matte. No he didn't. That was CM Punk.
Matte: I think it was CP Munk.
Davin: No, that was the giant chipmunk. CM Punk is the straightedge guy who would say that luck was for losers. And he never said that luck was at losers. That makes no sense.
Matte: Huh. Well, see ya later.
Davin: See ya, man.
**Davin turns to walk away.**
Matte: Wait! Who do you have next week?
Davin: Damon.
Matte: You're fighting yourself?
Davin: Jesus, Matte. I'm Davin. I'm fighting Damon. The guy you fucked up like twice before. Remember that?
Matte: Does it really matter if I don't?
Davin: No, i guess not. I'll check ya later.
**Davin looks back and sees Matte, passed out again, using the uncomfortable title belt as a pillow. Davin just smiles, shakes his head, and is on his way.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 9:51:22 GMT -5
Fade in as the camera is focused on an aluminum garbage can. The camera pulls back slightly to show the Darling Man cape hanging over the edge. The camera pulls back some more and see Bryce Larson STANDING~! in beside the trash can.
BL: Alexander Darling, your little charade was quite entertaining. And I enjoyed it the first time I saw it...which is why I took the liberty of calling a man I was friends with back on the indies.
Eric Young enters the frame, shaking hands with Bryce, who winces in pain after turning his neck to see Eric, all thanks to a Moosehead Jack beatdown. Bryce takes the Darling Man attire out of the trash can.
BL: Eric, I think you might like this.
EY: Thank you, Citizen Larson!
BL: That's getting so old. You're friends with Gryfon, aren't you?
EY: Affirmative!
With that, Eric Young leaves the frame--Darling Man attire in his arms. Bryce suddenly ramps up the intensity of his promo.
BL: Darling, I could care less about The Heroes Guild, Nayr, or even Run DEA. Just because I'm officially partners with Davin Moreland doesn't mean I have to like you. But man to man--what you pulled on The Guild last week, on Nayr at Hooters last night, and on these fans who actually bought you as Darling Man--it was pitiful. But I'm glad you pulled it off tonight, because now we can all see you for who you really are. Next Wednesday in Springfield, there's no mask to hide behind. No charade, Alex. Just you and me. I no longer feel the need to prove myself to you or to anyone else. Next Wednesday in Springfield, I beat you and cement my spot as the future of the OOWF. Next Wednesday in Springfield, you're going down. Next Wednesday in Springfield, Alex...next Wednesday in Springfield.
Bryce walks out of the frame and the camera focuses on the empty trash can.
We hear the director off camera...
Director: Cut. Good job everyone.
BL: How was it? Did I convey the intensity?
Director: [Obviously not wanting to shoot anything twice.] Oh yeah, it was perfect. Genuine emotion captured on film, just like we intended.
Bryce's phone rings, and he answers, not realizing the cameras are still on.
BL: Hello ...... Oh, hey Mary Jane! ...... Thanks for calling me back. Listen ......
Bryce sees a camera on him, covers the phone and yells at the camera man, making him leave. We fade out before we can hear anymore of the phone call with Mary Jane.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 9:52:00 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is READING~! Next week's lineup as he's holding his and Samantha's luggage in front of GM the Rick's office*
DM: Damon Wrath? What the fuck?
*Samantha rounds the corner, putting the last things in her pocketbook that she's totally not going to need but shoves in there anyway "just in case" because, well, that's how they roll*
SD: Who you got, babe?
DM: Damon Wrath.
SD: What the Fuck? What's the Heavyweight Title Match?
DM: Legendary LD Williams vs. Poe the Kid Toucher.
SD: Seriously? But what about -
DM: *shrugs* Davin Moreland thought that this might happen. Davin Moreland lost Davin Moreland's rematch and now it's by rankings - and because GM the Rick is so NEUTRAL, Davin Moreland's rankings are in the shitter. So. It is what it is.
SD: But...Damon Wrath?
DM: Damon Wrath has BIG PLANS!
SD: Uh huh.
DM: Alright, let's go.
SD: Are we driving again?
DM: Mmhmm.
*They walk out to the parking lot to the Rental Camry, and Davin's putting the luggage away, Samantha gets into the driver's seat*
DM: Davin Moreland will drive.
SD: Really?
DM: Sure. Davin Moreland is in relatively good shape.
*Samantha scoots over to the passenger seat*
SD: Well, if you're relatively healthy, Damon Wrath isn't gonna know what hit him.
*Davin doesn't respond, apparently deep in thought*
SD: Honey?
*Still nothing*
SD: Davin!
*Again nothing*
SD: *drills Davin in the shoulder with a right hook* HEY!
DM: OW! What the fuck?
SD: I'm talking here.
DM: And Davin Moreland is thinking here.
SD: Don't hurt yourself.
*fade to commercial*
*fade back in, and Davin is still deep in thought*
SD: It's bad e-fucking-nough that we're driving in the middle of nowhere in the dark; but you not talking is making the experience very shitty for me.
DM: *snaps out of it* I GOT it! Honey, where is Alexis, did Alexis leave yet?
SD: Uh..yeah, she left like 10 minutes before we did. She's probably on the PLANE, you know, where WE should be instead of driving in a shitty rental.
DM: She HAS to have it...or at least knows where it is...Sammy? Babe? Will you call your sister for me?
SD: Um, dumbass, she's on a FUCKING PLANE!
DM: *cough* Voicemail *cough*
SD: Ugh...FINE! What do you want me to say?
DM: Tell Alexis that I need her to find something for me; and quickly.
SD: Why?
DM: You'll see. It's just another moment of genius by Davin Moreland.
SD: *dials her Sprint Treo phone* Better be.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 9:52:37 GMT -5
FADE in to the palatial IHOP locker room. As usual, Monkh and Fezzik are playing Rock Band 2. The Amnesiac, however, is taking time out of his busy drumming schedule to sit down and watch some videos. SYB and Skurge walk into the locker room, and immediately notice The Amnesiac. They walk over to him.
Skurge: What's going on over here?
AMN: I'm getting prepared for our match this week. Solly, you really should join me here.
SYB: What are you watching? Video of the Team From Down Under's match?
AMN: No, here... watch with me.
On the TV:
Skurge: Wow, how many more Austrailian pop culture references can you possibly come up with?
AMN: It's early. Wait a while.
SYB sits down next to The Amnesiac and the two of them continue watching the Austrailian montage. Skurge just shakes his head and walks away.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:05:03 GMT -5
Fade into The Heroes Guild lockerroom, where Nayr is alone, watching some OOWF TV. The cameras catch him as he sees this scene:
N: What? ... Really, he'd do THAT? I've been wrong all along. I need to go find 'Crete.
Nayr leaves the locker room as we fade out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:05:24 GMT -5
Aboard the Run DEA Yum Foods Plane ....
Lucios is seen walking the aisles. He stops beside Alexis.
Lucios: I need a word.
Alexis: Oh, Now you want to talk to me? Apologizing for throwing me under the bus after the last time we teamed up? Or maybe a lame 'let's let bygones be bygones' speech? Save it. I want to win these titles just as bad as you do. When we land, we'll have work to do to get ready.
Lucios: I wanted to say I was impressed at your showing in the Invitational and your work with Davin and your brother last week. No apologies coming. But keep the attitude. If being pissed off at me motivates you to become a champion, I'm all for it.
Alexis: Whatever. And You had better make sure Captain doesn't get too handy when we work out. I'd hate to hurt him before the match.
Lucios: I can keep him under control only so often. Don't worry, he's too focused on peeping in at Firewoman most of the time.
Alexis: I don't know what she sees in him
Lucios: I do. He's easily manipulated. Use your... assests... to your advantage with him. He'll do whatever you say and everything will work out perfectly.
Alexis: Sad you talk about your partner like that
Lucios: We've been friends since we were kids. I know what makes him tick. I know his strengths and weaknesses. He knows mine. That's a good portion of why we have been succesful.
Alexis: Fine. I'll see you on the ground.
Alexis puts on her earphones and Lucios walks away
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:05:46 GMT -5
[The Dead is walking down a hall (which one? who knows!) when he is joined by a Randomly Numbered Journalist.]
RNJ: Dead, tell us what's going through your mind after last night's loss.
Dead: Loss? Really? Were you watching the same match that everyone else was?
RNJ: But Tytan got the pinfall...
Dead: Look, I'm gonna back this real simple for you. Dead eliminated SYB. Dead would have eliminated Tytan had Chris Cole not stuck his vibrating suitcase where it didn't belong. And everyone except our top notch OOWF referees saw what happened at the end. Tytan likes to make people think that he's a monster, some kind of freak of nature, but in reality he's nothing but a chump.
RNJ: Well there you have it...
Dead: Oh, I'm not done yet. Did you happen to notice what the crowd was doing whenever The Dead was performing a high-risk maneuver or kicking ass inside the ring?
RNJ: Umm, they were, uhh...
Dead: They were cheering. And to be honest, I was kind of enjoying...
[The Dead trails off and his eyes seemed to be focused on something off camera. The cameraman turns around and we see Tytan stand there.]
Tytan: Making excuses already, Dead?
Dead: Haha, you pathetic little man. I'm glad you got your title shot. Now I can see Fire mop the floor with your over-blown, under-skilled carcass. Then her and I can throw down for the belt the way it's supposed to be.
Tytan: Look, if you think...
Dead: I'm done with you, meathead.
[The Dead walks away before Tytan can say another word. Tytan seethes with anger as the camera fades to black.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:06:08 GMT -5
Chris Evans is seen watching tapes of Stank. He's accompanied by a SFJ, who begins interviewing him.
SFJ: So Cubhea....Lionheart! I'm sorry Lionheart!
Evans chuckles at it.
Evans: Ah don't worry about it. Well, seems like Firewoman's little name for me has taken on a life of its own. Maybe I should just change it.
SFJ: You serious about that?
E: *batistalaugh* Nah, I'm just messing around. Just try not to do it again, thats Fire's name for me and nobody else, except for the fans are allowed to do that without facing some repercussions. So lemme guess, you want my thoughts on my match next week with Stank?
SFJ: How'd you know that?
E: Cause thats what I get asked the day after every event, how I feel about my opponent. Well, I know I've said it a few times already, but I'm positive of it now. This is my biggest test to date. First off, I face Stank, the leader of one of the toughest groups in the whole fucking company, Drink & Destroy.
And if by some miracle I actually survive that, I'm facing either Skurge, the leader of IHOP and a guy who seems to be having as good of luck as I've been having, or Moosehead Jack, the most sadistic motherfucker in the company. Right now, I don't like my chances, but dammit, win or lose, I'm gonna have some fun doing it. That is, if that freakshow Tytan doesn't take me out before then due to my alliance with Firewoman.
SFJ: Speaking of which, what are your thoughts on that match?
E: I really don't know what to say. For a minute there, it looked like Tyson was gonna win the match, but....ya know, I really have no idea what that whole ending was about. I mean, at first, Tytan is all worried about Tyson getting back into the ring, and then as soon as the bell rings, he acts all nonchalant and walks to the back, as if nothing happened. But whatever that whole thing was about is none of my concern. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go back to the tapes.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:06:31 GMT -5
Firewoman is standing outside GMtheRick's office with Phantos.
P: Can't you do this when we get to the next place?
FW: No. Look, go ahead and leave okay? I'll get there?
P: How? You have no motorcy--....er, way, and it's been fun having you ride along in the truck.
FW: Well, yeah....but I just have to do this one thing first.
GMtheRick walks past them and into the office, Firewoman follows him, after signalling Phantos to wait outside.
GMtR: Damn, they were right. Pretending to not see you does not get rid of you.
FW: Funny. Look, I don't ask for much around here...
GMtR: Oh, please.......
FW: Well,... Okay, I do.... but I never really expect you to agree enough to push it....
GMtR: Have you ever heard one of our conversation?
FW: Dammit, shut up and listen. You need to get Tyson to a doctor.
GMtR: What? He's got a clearance. A doctor....doctor....[He shuffles through some papers on his desk].... Aspin?
FW: You can't seriously not recognize that name, right?
GMtR: Yeah, I know the name. He's the same one that cleared you after your latest hospital stay. Are you saying you should be checked out again?
FW: Don't be ridiculous. It wasn't me that could barely finish a match last night.
GMtR: Actually, it was... you barely got back in--
FW: But I got there. Tyson was in no shape--
GMtR: Fine.....[He calls out to another room]....Erlana....has Kincaid left yet?........no?........Tell him to come see me.....
FW: I'm outta here..
GMtR: Oh no you're not. You going to throw around accusations? You're going to stick around.
Some moments pass, and a not-quite-happy to be summoned Tyson Kincaid comes in.
TK: What is this about, Rick? [noticing Firewoman]. Oh great, what's she doing here?
GMtR: Firewoman is concerned that you might not be 100% ready to wrestle, given your performance last night, and I can't say that I disagree.....
TK: It's nothing, Rick, it's fine. My doctor--
GMtR: Firewoman has also raised some important questions about your doctor.
TK: She would.
FW: Tyson, just--
TK: Just what? What drug do you think I'm on now? I'm totally clean.
FW: Yeah, I've heard that before. I've also seen what I saw last night before. You need to get checked out, or get help, or both.
TK: It's almost like you care.
FW: I care about delivering a good match, which I couldn't do last night because you powdered out--
TK: I did not. Tytan wouldn't--
GMtR: Okay, enough you two... Tyson you need to go see one of the OOWF's medical staff.
TK: That's all the way back in Dayton! I'm not going to have time--
GMtR: No, probably not, so just make an appointment for the next time we're in the general vicinity--
FW: That's it?
GMtR: What do you want me to do? We don't have the money to fly him there and then to ...Nebraska? Seriously? Or to have our medical staff come out here. And he can't skip a match for it, as there have been promotional stuff--
FW: You are seriously going to put your promotional posters ahead of the health of one of your employees?
TK: Please, stop pretending you care. No one's buying it. [although he sounds way less irritated by this than one would think.]
FW: I care that when I end your career, it's you at 100 percent, and you can't come back later and say "Oh, I was sick" or "Oh, I was high."
GMtR: Well, I could care less what either of you think. I've made my decision.
FW: And I've made mine. I'm not getting in the ring with him until he's cleared....really cleared.
TK: Here we go.....
FW: AND, I'm going to encourage everyone else to do the same.
TK: Right...like the locker room is going to listen to a member of RunDEA.
FW: Maybe they won't. But they saw the same match I did. They know your history. And they know there are certain things I would never compromise on, no matter what faction I'm in. So go ahead Rick. Roll the dice. When you have no wrestlers willing to get in the ring with Kincaid, I guess you can wipe your ass with those posters.
There is a long silence while each person tries to determine if Firewoman is bluffing, if Tyson should be cleared, and if Rick is going to change anything. Finally GMtR sighs.
GMtR: Okay, here's how we're going to do this. Fire, you're wrestling Cole next week, so your threat is a non-issue.
FW: For now.
GMtR: Tyson....I'll try to get an OOWF doc to meet us in Nebraska, but I make no promises. As soon as we can do it, Fire.
TK: But I've been cleared. Gods, you are such a bitch, Li--
FW: DON'T even.
GMtR: I'm not taking you off the card though, unless I see something concrete that says there's a problem. That fine?
TK: Fine.
FW: Fine.
GMtR: Now go, you need to be in ...who books us into Nebraska?
Firewoman and Tyson leave, but talk in the hallway.
TK: I can't believe you would do this to me. You really are a coward.
FW: Yeah. I'd drop you right here, except you know I'm right. Something's wrong and you're either in denial or trying to hide it. But yeah, think the worst of me, like always. If I end up saving your life, I'll try not to say "I told you so."
Tyson can come up with nothing so he storms off. Phantos is still waiting.
P: Sorry it didn't go well.
FW: Eh, went better than I thought.
P: You ready?
FW: Yeah....well, no.....I can't be in Nebraska yet, Captain. I need to get a way for a few days first, okay? [She plants a kiss on his cheek...well, on his mask, anyway.]
P: Yeah...okay. But how--
FW: See ya in Nebraska, stud.
fade out
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:06:59 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is LEANING~! on the Rental Camry...on the shoulder of I-29 South. There is some steam leaking from the open hood. He is silent, and would clearly rather be anywhere else. We'll see why in a second.*
SD: So today...we go by SIOUX FUCKING FALLS again, and then by the bustling metropolis of fucking OMAHA, and now, here we are, on the side of Highway 29 South, waiting for Gomer the Tow Truck Driver because YOU wanted to drive!
DM: *quietly* It's not my fault the car overheated.
SD: Not your fault?!? OF COURSE it's your fucking fault. People of means do not drive RENTAL FUCKING CAMRYS THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE, Got it?!?
DM: Says who?
SD: Says ME, Motherfucker!
DM: Ah right, Samantha the Princess. Lives for 5 years selling pills in the fucking bush in New Zealand; but now riding in a Camry is TOO FUCKING FAR BENEATH HER!
SD: When we have a CORPORATE JET to take from venue to venue, YES, IT'S TOO FAR BENEATH ME!
DM: It's a 3-Hour Drive. You can't POSSIBLY want to sit in that godforsaken jet for an hour and a half for a 20 minute actual flight, and listen to your fucking brother try to impress the little gymnast that doesn't need impressing. Or, listen to DH talk about himself. Or, listen to Fire talk about herself. Or, listen to Phantos talk about Fire. Or listen to Alexis bitch about how everything that's wrong with the world is MY fucking Fault. And apparently, that last one is true, because YOU'RE DOING IT TOO!
SD: It IS Your Fault! I am a DARLING!
DM: You are a Darling by birth! That's not what...you know what, fuck it. I don't know what I was thinking. It's fucking CLEAR that you don't know how to exist outside your little bubble unless you're hopped up on something.
SD: Fuck you, that has NOTHING to do with this. THIS has to do with YOU driving ME through SIOUX FALLS and OMAHA and KALAMAZOO and KOOKAMUNGA and wherever the fuck ELSE we've been through, when we could have taken the plane.
DM: You would have rather taken the plane?
SD: YES! Well, right NOW yes.
DM: That's what I thought.
SD: THAT IS NOT THE POINT!
DM: Then what is the point?
SD: *crying now* I don't know if I did things the right way.
DM: *looks sympathetic and goes to hug her* You did things the only way they could be done. Unless you wanted to wait forever. And at that point it might have been.
SD: *smiles weakly* You're right. *unleashes a WICKED RIGHT HOOK TO THE SHOULDER* Now WHERE THE FUCK IS GOMER, MUSHY MCGILLICUDDY?
DM: So HELP me Samantha, I'll Diamond Cut you RIGHT FUCKING HERE.
SD: Oh Do it. That would look TERRIFIC on the news...
DM: Actually...
SD: Actually...
DM: Love you.
SD: Love you.
*Davin gives her a quick peck on the lips, before DESTROYING her with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD! Just then, the Tow Truck Driver, who's name is surprisingly "Gomer", pulls up, and he saw the whole thing.*
GTTTD: What's goin' on here?
DM: Car's overheated. We need a ride back to Hertz.
GTTTD: How'd you do that?
DM: What?
GTTTD: Speak in bold like that?
DM: Talent.
GTTTD: What'd you to to your girl over there?
DM: Samantha Darling got lippy, so Davin Moreland gave her a Diamond Cutter.
GTTTD: I THOUGHT that's who you were...YOU'RE Davin Moreland!
DM: Davin Moreland is Davin Moreland.
GTTTD: Huh?
DM: Nevermind.
Matte: Huh?
DM: Where the fuck did Matte come from?
GTTTD: Is that Curt Cobain?
Matte: No. Why am I here?
DM: I dunno. Matte can leave now.
Matte: Whatever.
*He shrugs and walks away*
DM: Can Gomer get this rolling here? Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling would like to be wherever the fuck we're going as soon as fucking possible.
GTTTD: *looks over at the still dead Samantha* You sure she's coming?
DM: Davin Moreland is sure. Now come on before...
*News trucks start pulling up to the scene along with Paramedics and Law enforcement. What was once a nice, quiet car ride has now become a full-blown clusterfuck; and a shit-ton of publicity for the OOWF.*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:07:21 GMT -5
(Steele enters GmtheRick's Office seeming a bit concerned.)
theRick: Oh crap you again!
Steele: That's no way to treat a concerned manager.
theRick: What are you concerned about now? Tytan won the match so he will get his shot at Firewoman again.
Steele: That's not it thought Tytan is concerned about is partner Tyson Kincaid.
theRick: That has got to be the biggest pile of crap I have ever heard.
Steele: Take it as you will, but we want to know if he is going to be able to wrestle at Mayhem?
theRick: I said I will see if I can get a Doctor down there in time to clear him.
Steele: And if he isn't cleared what happens to Tytan's match?
theRick: I suppose you have something in mind?
Steele: Think of the ratings on this one. Eric O’Mac & Thim Reynolds vs. Tytan and FIREWOMAN!
theRick: (Shocked) You would do that have Tytan tag with his rival?
Steele: Why not? It would be a ratings Gold Mine! Everyone would want to see if the two could co-exist together.
theRick: And the title match that night?
Steele: That's her problem. She's the one that made this problem she should suffer the repercussions.
theRick:(Smiles) Steele you are one sick son of a bitch but at times I do like your style. Consider it under advisement.
Steele: (Evil grins) That's all I wanted to her, sir. Thank you.
(He gets up and leaves.)
theRick: Now what the hell is that bastard up too.
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:07:42 GMT -5
And now we interrupt your program for a message from Ultimo Inc. and Johnathan Steele....
Steele: Have you ever been in a situation where the odds are against you and you needed something to help you even the odds.
(Shows Tytan walking and as Steele speaks stops and look at the camera like he's crazy.)
Steele: Okay scratch that one...Have you ever had one of those days when you just wanted to smack the hell out of someone for no reason at all.
(Tytan who now has a chair in his hand is walking along the Hallway of Random Encounters and spots Chris Evans minding his own business. Tytan smiles at the camera.)
Steele: Then try the DX-4601 Steel Chair. It's durable and aerodynamic. So....( Tytan runs up and cracks Evans with the Steel chair.) they never see it coming. (Evans hits the floor and Tytan shows know dent in the chair.
Steele: See the chair is as good as new.
(Tytan opens the chair and sits down and watches Evans hurting.)
Steele: So go to our website and order yourself the DX-4601 it will just make your day that much brighter....and if you are one of the first 10 that place an order you will get your very own. "Ultimo Inc. helped me kick your ass t-shirt!" So hurry up and order now!
**The commercial fades and then you see Matte watching on the TV***
Matte: I may need to order myself one.
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:08:22 GMT -5
*In the Destroyitarium, the members of Drink & Destroy are looking at the match listing for this week*
Gator: SWEET! I love IHOP!!!
Outback Jack: You love other wrestlers, mate?
Gator (totally oblivious to Jack's remark): Stuffed French Toast, baby! Here I come!!!
Wally: Gator, IHOP are wrestlers...
Gator (still oblivious): I once dated this girl from El Salvador. She told me that there it's called "La Casa Internacional De Los Panqueques".
Stank: ...
FFC: ...
Wally: ...
OBJ: ...
Steve Irbot: *beep*
Gator (snapping back to reality): So guys, that felt great to get back in the ring and beat some ass the old-fashioned way.
OBJ (drinks, belches): Yeah, mate. Just like old times. No more of that pussy shit.
*The bunch of them continue to drink heavily and the vision begins to blur for all of them, even Steve Irbot who decided to down a gallon of WD-40 from The Home Depot*
Steve Irbot: CRIKEY! *hiccup* *boop* That's some strong lubricant!
Gator: Hey Irbot, we know you can run at highway speeds and drink the rest of us under the table, but what other abilities do you have?
Irbot: As a matter of fact, mate, I possess the ability to translate many exawtic Asian languigis. *bip*
Wally: Really? I just picked up the Japanese transcript of the match against Phantos & Lucios. Think you could help us out with a translation? I'll put the rush order on your female Roo-Bot if you do!
Irbot: Awlways glad to help, mate! *bloop*
*Wally hands Steve Irbot the 3-page transcript written entirely in Japanese characters. Irbot proceeds to crumble up the papers and ingest them. 15 minutes go by, and Irbot comes out of the crapper with (seemingly) brand new sheets of paper.*
Irbot: Croikey! I need to drink some more WD-40 next time! That was loike pushin' a bloomin' onion through a muskrat's vagoina! *blurp*
Gator: Ew.
Irbot: Anyways, here is your translation, boys! Jaypanese to Australian!!! *bip*
*Everyone gathers around to read.*
OBJ: Damn, mate. How drunk were we? I don't remember half this stuff.
Gator: Yeah, I don't remember the rope breaking, at all. Phantos brought his truck. A boy in drag.
Wally: ...
OBJ: Was one of the corners made of squash? Man, I would've gone George Steele on them if I'd have known! *BELLLLCH*
*They scan the rest of the transcript and get toward the bottom.*
Gator: Oh, shit. Looks who's back.
OBJ: Ah, fuck! Not Boomerang Jack!!!
Wally: The half-wallaby half-Jerry O'connell?!?
Gator: The very same.
OBJ: Ah, we're fucked, now.
*All of D&D look outside quickly when they hear a loud squeal of tire wheels. What they see baffles them a bit. Moosehead Jack is speeding away in an old Corvette with his head sticking out of the open T-top*
*Fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:08:49 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack leads Tyson Kincaid into Poe’s dressing room. The room is well lit by candlelight. Poe is seated on the couch, taking a few puffs of hookah. Selena is seated on the floor, surrounded by candles and what appear to be paper animals.
MHJ: I’ve brought Tyson.
Poe holds up the nozel, offering some hookah to Tyson.
TK: No thanks.
Selena then scoots over on her knees towards Tyson.
SG: Would you like an orgasm?
All three men look at Selena in shock.
TK: Do I want what??
Selena holds up a paper bird.
SG: You know, the Japanese art of folding paper?
Tyson looks at Mooehead Jack, and then Poe.
TK: No thanks.
Selena initially looks at him with sad puppy dog eyes, but then shrugs and scoots back to her circle.
SG: Whatever.
Selena then smiles as she holds the paper bird over a candle and watches it burn. Poe then stands before Tyson.
Poe: Mr. Kincaid, your recent troubles have caught my attention.
Poe then holds out a card. Tyson takes it and reads it aloud.
TK: Dr. Mohinder Gupta. Ph.D. John Hopkins University Hospital. What’s this?
Poe: That my friend is a long time friend and trusted physician. I am recommending you go to see him to clear up this physical ailment you seem to have recently. I understand your hesitation to trust GMtheRick, and surely FireWoman and Run DEA are taking full advantage of your situation. This way, we can truly find out the cause and treat it.
Tyson tosses the card at Poe. Poe watches the card hit him in the chest and flutter to the ground.
TK: I don’t need no damn doctor. I’m fine, you got that?
Poe cuts his eyes up to Tyson.
Poe: Mr. Kincaid…Moosehead Jack and I gave you our word to watch each others’ backs while we have common enemies. I can not support someone who is…distracted by other things. You are not on top of your game and therefore I can not trust you. I am offering you a solution but I will NOT offer twice and as many have probably told you, I do not take kindly to being told “no” when I do offer to help someone.
Poe bends down, picks up the card and hands it to Tyson.
Poe: You have twenty-four hours to reconsider. If you choose to see Dr. Gupta, I will stick by my word. If you do not…well then…
Poe gets eye to eye with Tyson.
Poe: You’ll be on your own. Understand?
TK: Yeah, I got it. Can I go now?
Poe extends his arm towards the door. Tyson casts an eye to Moosehead Jack as he leaves. Moosehead Jack then stands beside Poe.
MHJ: So what if he doesn’t go to Baltimore?
Poe: Let him die in the ring. Hookah?
MHJ: Yes please. Mouse, will you be partaking?
SG: No way dude. That stuff gives me nightmares.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:09:13 GMT -5
*Fade in to the Hallway of Random Encounters, where we see Skurge walk–WHAM~! Skurge is down! Skurge is down! Skurge is down!
*Moosehead Jack walks away from an unconscious Skurge, laughing uncontrollably and carrying a bloody barbed-wire baseball bat.
*Meanwhile, Skurge is now walking toward a bright light. As he reaches it, the scene shifts to a swamp-like environment. Skurge is sitting in the cockpit of an X-Wing Fighter, which is quickly sinking into the swamp. He exits the vehicle and hears a droid beeping behind him. Skurge turns to see a droid that can best be described as a garbage can with a giant nose…
Droid: Beep boop beep. Skurge: What’s that, Arjoo? R2-D-JOO: Beep boop beep. Skurge: Yeah, we’ll get back to C-3PO soon enough. R2-D-JOO: Boop beep. Skurge: My bad. The C-3PO. And Dorothy too. R2-D-JOO: Boob boob. Skurge: I won’t tell her you said that. Lets get oot of here, eh?
*Skurge jumps off of the ship and wades to shore. R2-D-JOO is somewhat less graceful and falls off the ship into the swamp.
Skurge: Arjoo! You be more careful!
*Suddenly, a swamp monster of some kind drags R2-D-JOO underwater. After discovering that the droid contains no pork products, however, the monster spits Arjoo onto dry land, where Skurge goes to check on him. Skurge helps Arjoo to his feet and begins wiping the mud and roots from his round metal body and giant nose. Arjoo responds with feeble, soggy beeps.
Skurge: If you're saying coming here was a bad idea, I'm beginning to agree with you. Oh, Arjoo, what are we doing here? It's like...something out of a dream, or, I don't know. Maybe I'm just going crazy.
*As Skurge glances around at the spooky swamp jungle that surrounds him, Arjoo ejects a stream of muddy water from one of his immense nostrils. The mist has dispersed a bit, but it is still a very gloomy-looking swamp. Skurge pulls an equipment box from the shore to the clearing. He ignites a little fusion furnace and warms his hands before it. Taking a power cable, he plugs it into Arjoo's huge noselike socket.
Skurge: Ready for some power? Okay. Let's see now. Put that in there. There you go.
*The droid whistles his appreciation. Skurge then opens a beer and sits before the thermal heater.
Skurge: (sighs) Now all I have to do is find who we came here to see...if he even exists. Still...there's something familiar aboot this place. I feel like...I don't know... Strange Voice: Feel like what?
*Skurge jumps out of his skin. Arjoo screeches in terror. Skurge grabs for his lightsaber as he spins around, looking for the speaker. Standing right in front of Skurge is a strange, bluish creature, not more than two feet tall. The wizened little thing is dressed in rags and a Cubs hat. It motions toward Skurge’s sword.
Skurge: (looking at the creature) Like we're being watched! Creature: Away with your weapon! I mean you no harm.
*After some hesitation, Skurge puts away his weapon, although he really doesn't understand why. Arjoo watches with interest.
Creature: I am wondering, why are you here? Skurge: I'm looking for someone, eh? Creature: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm? Skurge: Riiight. Creature: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm. Skurge: I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior. Creature: Ahhh! A great warrior. (Laughs and shakes his head) War not make one great.
*With the aid of a baseball bat, the tiny stranger moves over to one of the cases of supplies. He begins to rummage around. Arjoo moves to the edge of the case — standing almost eye-level to the creature, who is carelessly handling the supplies — and squeaks his disapproval. Their tiny visitor picks up the beer Skurge was drinking and takes a sip.
Skurge: Put that down. Hey! That's my beer!
*The creature spits out the sip he has taken. He makes a face.
Creature: How you get so big, drinking water of this kind?
*He flips the bottle in Skurge's direction and reaches into one of Skurge's supply cases.
Skurge: Listen, friend, we didn't mean to land in that puddle, and if we could get our ship out, we would, but we can't, so why don't you just... Creature: (teasing) Aww, cannot get your ship out?
*The creature spots something of interest in Skurge's case. Skurge loses his patience and grabs the case away. The creature retains his prize — a pound of back bacon — and examines it with delight.
Skurge: Hey, you could have broken this beer. Ohhh...you're making a mess. Hey, give me that! Creature: (retreating with the bacon) Mine! Or I will help you not.
*Clutching its treasure, the creature backs away from Skurge, drawing closer to Arjoo. As Skurge and the creature argue, one of Arjoo's little arms slowly moves out toward the bacon, completely unnoticed by the creature.
Skurge: I don't want your help. I want my bacon back, eh? I'll need nourishment to get oot of this slimy mudhole. Creature: Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is.
*Arjoo grabs hold of the bacon, and the two little figures are immediately engaged in a tug-of-war over it. Arjoo beeps angrily a few times.
Skurge: Oh, Arjoo, let him have it. Creature: Mine! Mine! Skurge: Arjoo! Creature: Mine!
*The creature lets go of the bacon with one hand and pokes Arjoo lightly in the nose with his baseball bat. Arjoo reacts with a startled squeal, and lets go.
Creature: Mine! Skurge: (fed up) Now will you move along, little fella? We've got a lot of work to do. Creature: No! No, no! Stay and help you, I will. (laughs) Find your friend, hmm? Skurge: I'm not looking for a friend, I'm looking for a wrestling trainer. Creature: Oohhh. Wrestling trainer. Nate. You seek Nate. Skurge: You know him? Creature: Mmm. Take you to him, I will. (laughs) Yes, yes. But now, we must eat. Come. Good food. Come.
*With that, the creature scurries out of the clearing, laughing merrily. Skurge stares after him. All he sees is the faint light from the small lamp that the creature’s carrying moving through the fog. Skurge makes his decision and starts after the creature. Arjoo, very upset, whistles a blue streak of protest as we…
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:11:02 GMT -5
*Fade in to Dagobah once again. It is now daytime, and with Nate strapped to his back, Skurge climbs up one of the many thick vines that grow in the swamp. Panting heavily, he continues his course — climbing, flipping through the air, jumping over roots, and racing in and out of the heavy ground fog.
Nate: Run! Yes. A wrestler's strength flows from the Promo. But beware of the dark side. Laziness...poor grammar...lack of continuity. The dark side of the Promo are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Fezzik's apprentice. Skurge: Moosehead Jack. Is the dark side stronger? Nate: No...no...no. Quicker, easier, more seductive. Skurge: But how am I to know the good side from the bad, eh? Nate: You will know. When you are calm, at peace. Passive. A wrestler uses the Promo for knowledge and defense, never for attack. Skurge: But tell me why I can't– Nate: (interrupting) No, no, there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions. Mmm. Mmmmmm.
*Arjoo beeps in the distance as Skurge lets Nate down to the ground. Breathing heavily, he takes his shirt from a nearby tree branch and pulls it on. He turns to see a huge, dead, black tree, its base surrounded by a few feet of water. Giant, twisted roots form a dark and sinister cave on one side. Skurge stares at the tree, trembling.
Skurge: There's something not right here. I feel cold, death. Nate: That place...is strong with the dark side of the Promo. A domain of evil it is. In you must go. Skurge: What's in there? Nate: Only what you take from others.
*Skurge looks warily between the tree and Nate. He starts to strap on his weapon belt.
Nate: Your weapons...you will not need them.
*Skurge gives the tree a long look, than shakes his head "No." Nate shrugs. Skurge reaches up to brush aside some hanging vines and enters the tree. Skurge moves into the almost total darkness of the wet and slimy cave. He can barely make out the edge of the passage. Holding his lightsaber before him, he sees a dog barking in Spanish at the side of the cave and a stewardess giving a plane’s autopilot a blowjob shortly thereafter. Skurge finally realizes that the cave is actually IHOP’s worst nightmare: the Hallway of Copyright Infringement! Skurge draws a deep breath, then pushes deeper into the cave. The space widens around him, but he feels that rather than sees it. His sword casts the only light as he peers into the darkness. It is very quiet here. Then, a loud “Trust me.” Moosehead Jack appears in slow-motion across the blackness, illuminated by his barbed-wire lightsaber. Immediately, he charges Skurge, saber held high. He is upon the Canuck in seconds, but Skurge sidesteps perfectly and slashes at Moosehead Jack with his sword. Moosehead Jack is decapitated! His head flies from his shoulders as his body disappears into the darkness. The thud of the head hitting the ground fills the cave as it spins and bounces, and finally stops. For an instant it rests on the floor, then it changes to reveal...Skurge's head! Skurge gasps at the sight, wide-eyed in terror. The decapitated head fades away, as in a vision. Meanwhile, Nate sits on a root outside the cave, calmly leaning on his baseball bat.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:11:24 GMT -5
*Fade in to Dagobah once more. Skurge is upside-down, and his face is showing enormous strain. He stands on his hands, with Nate perched on his feet. Opposite Skurge and Nate are two rocks the size of bowling balls. Skurge stares at the rocks and concentrates. One of the rocks lifts from the ground and floats up to rest on the other.
Nate: Use the Promo. Yes...
*Nate taps Skurge’s leg. Quickly, Skurge lifts one hand from the ground. His body wavers, but he maintains his balance. Arjoo, standing nearby, is whistling and beeping frantically.
Nate: Now...the stone. Feel it.
*Skurge concentrates on trying to lift the top rock. It rises a few feet, shaking under the strain, but distracted by Arjoo's frantic beeping, Skurge loses his balance and finally collapses. Nate jumps clear.
Nate: Concentrate!
*Annoyed at the disturbance, Skurge looks over at Arjoo, who is rocking urgently back and forth in front of him. Arjoo waddles closer to Skurge, chirping wildly, then scoots over to the edge of the swamp. Catching on, Skurge rushes to the water's edge. The X-Wing Fighter has sunk, and only the tip of its nose shows above the lake's surface.
Skurge: Ah, fuck. We'll never get it oot now. Nate: So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say? Skurge: Master, moving stones aroond is one thing. This is totally different, eh? Nate: No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned. Skurge: (focusing, quietly) You make no sense whatsoever, but alright, I'll give it a try, eh? Nate: No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
*Skurge closes his eyes and concentrates on thinking the ship out of the water. Slowly, the X-Wing's nose begins to rise above the water. It hovers for a moment and then slides back, disappearing once again.
Skurge: (panting heavily) I can't. It's too big. Nate: That’s what she said. Skurge: What!? Nate: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hm? Mmmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Promo. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we...(Nate punches Skurge's knee)...not this crude matter. (A sweeping gesture) You must feel the Promo around you. (Gesturing) Here, between you...me...the tree...the rock...everywhere! Yes, even between this land and that ship! Skurge: (discouraged) You want the impossible.
*Quietly, Nate turns toward the X-Wing Fighter. With his eyes closed and his head bowed, he raises his arm and points at the ship. Soon, the fighter rises above the water and moves forward as Arjoo beeps in terror and scoots away. The X-Wing moves majestically toward the shore. Nate stands on a tree root and guides the fighter carefully down toward the beach. Skurge stares in astonishment as the fighter settles down onto the shore. He walks toward Nate.
Skurge: I don't...I don't believe it, eh? Nate: That is why you fail.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:12:02 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is SHUFFLING~! because he's in handcuffs and leg irons. He's being led to the defendant's desk at the Sarpy County Courthouse in Nebraska. His lawyer is noticeably absent. They remove the cuffs and irons and let Davin have a seat. Suddenly a giant behemoth of a man with a bald head in a bailiff's uniform stands up*
GBofMwaBHiaBU: All Rise! The Criminal Court of Sarpy County is now in session. The honorable Harold T. Stone, presiding.
HTS: Thank you, Bull. What's on the docket?
B: State of Nebraska vs. "Awesome Bill from Dawsonville", a.k.a. Thomas Davin Moreland. One count of aggravated assault, one count of domestic violence, one count of possession of a controlled substance in a school zone.
DM: Controlled Substance?
DF: Dan Fielding for the Prosecution your honor, Mr. Bill from Dawsonville was found with one-half ounce of cannabis indica on his person...that wasn't found until after Mr. Moreland had been brought into custody.
DM: So, it was planted.
DF: Found. After. And it was in a School Zone.
DM: How was it in a school zone if we were 50 miles from anywhere?
DF: School Zone.
*Davin sighs and buries his head in his hands*
DF: Your honor, we were hoping to get the plea and the pretrial conference done today in the name of expediency.
HTS: Sounds like a plan, Dan. That rhymes! HA!
DF: It does, your honor.
HTS: Mr. More...
DM: AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE!
HTS: Fine. Mr. From Dawsonville. Where is your lawyer?
DM: Reckon he shoulda been here already. Maybe he be reparkifyin' his autoMObile?
*Suddenly, the courtroom doors fly open*
SMAAL: It's-a ME!
DM: Ahhh...I'm fucked.
SMAAL: It's-a me! Super Mario...Attorney-At-Law! I am here to defend my...it's-a ME!
DM: Your honor, I would like to defendify myself in this matter.
HTS: Uh...granted. Sorry Mario. Should have laid off the mushrooms! HA!
*Super Mario puts on a sad face and leaves*
DF: Your honor?
HTS: Oh, right, sorry.
*Davin shakes his head and looks worried*
HTS: Mr...From Dawsonville, how do you plead?
DM: Not Guilty your honor...WOO! I'M WILD AS HELL!
HTS: So...entered. Mr. Fielding, proceed.
*Dan Fielding narrates the events of last Thursday, as a flashback "moments ago" video plays on the screen*
DF: So, your honor, despite the victim's objections, the State has found it reasonable to go forward and press charges.
HTS: Seems that there is sufficient evidence in place to do so...Dan, call your first witness...
*Dan Fielding calls a non-stop stream of witnesses, from cops who weren't even there to the Tow Truck driver who got free tickets the the show*
DF: Prosecution rests, your honor.
HTS: Mr. From Dawsonville, call your first witness.
DM: Your honor, I call Mr. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville.
*Davin walks to the witness box and is sworn in.*
DF: Mr...
DM: Awesome Bill from Dawsonville.
DF: Mr. Moreland, would it be fair to say that you have a problem with violence, especially toward women?
DM: Well, no, actually I'm pretty damn good at it.
DF: As a matter of fact you ARE good at it. You've been arrested assault. Repeatedly, haven't you?
DM: WOOO I don't remember that! Now...what happened?
DF: You have 3 assault and battery charges.
DM: 3?
DF: This week alone...and the week's not even over yet.
DM: Well...at this time...I'd like to call for a *jumps out of the box and charges for the courtroom doors* RECESS! *He starts tugging on the locked doors* C'mon Mario! Get me out of this mess!
SD: *who has been sitting in the back row* Davin, I don't think Super Mario is here...
*cut to Super Mario, who is knocking other Mario Karts off the road*
SMAAL: It's-a ME!
*hard cut back to the courtroom, and Davin is sitting back int he witness box as if nothing ever happened*
HTS: Before I pass sentence...what do you have to say for yourself Mr. From Dawsonville?
DM: Well? What the Hell would you do?!? Dat sumbitch *points to Samantha* looked at me CROSSWAYS!
HTS: She...looked at you crossways? That's your defense?
DM: YEAH! She looked at me CROSSWAYS!
HTS: Council...Approach the bench please. *loudly whispering* You're looking at an uphill battle here counselor.
DF: I know.
HTS: She DID look at him crossways.
DF: I know, that's what he says.
HTS: You know...this is rural Nebraska.
DF: I know...
HTS: We are still a VERY backward state out here. Very backward. In many, many ways.
DM: Your honor? I inquest to adjust the bench if I may?
HTS: Uh...Proceed.
*Davin leaps out of the seat and runs toward the locked doors again*
DM: SUCK ON THIS YOU SUMBITCH! I WANT THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
HTS: Uh...actually...you're free to go. $50 and time served. All, uh, other charges have been dropped.
DM: Well what if I don't WANNA go? YOU haven't heard my grievances yet!
SD: You know, judge, he actually likes it better if he thinks he thought ahead of you...
HTS: Uh...Quick! He's Escapin'!
DM: *runs back to the door* OPEN THE DOOR! LET MY ASS OUT GODDAMMIT! LET THIS SUMBITCH OUTTA HERE!
HTS: Uh...Someone...get him...before he gets...hurt and tries to sue us...
DF: Could someone please help him with the knob?
HTS: Bull, go ahead. Help him with the knob?
*Bull opens the door*
DM: HELL YEAH! We on the lam! Let's go get WILD! WOO! I'm WILD AS HELL!
*Samantha kind of shakes her head as she follows Davin out the door*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:12:40 GMT -5
*Fade in to the clearing behind Nate's house. Skurge again stands upside-down, but his face shows less strain and more concentration than before. Nate sits on the ground below the young wrestler. On the other side of the clearing, two equipment cases slowly rise into the air. Nearby, Arjoo watches, humming to himself, when suddenly he, too, rises into the air. His little legs kick desperately and his head turns frantically, looking for help.
Nate: Concentrate...feel the Promo flow. Yes. Good. Calm, yes. Through the Promo, things you will see. Other places. The future...the past. Old friends long gone.
*Skurge suddenly becomes distressed.
Skurge: SYB! The Amnesiac!
*The two packing boxes and Arjoo fall to the ground with a crash, then Skurge himself tumbles over.
Nate: (shaking his head) Hmm. Control, control. You must learn control. Skurge: I saw...I saw a city in Nebraska. Nate: Mmm. Friends you have there. Skurge: They were in pain. Nate: It is the future you see. Skurge: Future? Will they fail? Nate: Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future. Skurge: I've got to go to them. Nate: Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could. But you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered.
*Skurge is stopped cold by Nate's words. Gloom shrouds him as he nods his head sadly and we...
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:13:12 GMT -5
This interview was filmed Saturday night, Feburary 21, 2009The camera pulls in on a Red Carpet for a movie premiere.Ryan Seacrest is reporting on the Red CarpetRyan Seacrest: Welcome back. We are here tonight with one of the stars of the movie, Suicide Run, The Beer Baron! Come on over here!Beer Baron: (waving to fans and photographers behind him) Thank you very much for having me, Ryan.RS: You're very welcome. First off, I have to ask, what are you wearing tonight? And then what can you tell me about tonight's premiere of Suicide Run?BB: If you must know, I am sporting tonight a traditional Hugo Boss tuxedo. Nothing flasy, but just enough to get by. Before I get to the second question, can I ask a quick question?RS: (surprised look on his face) Of course...BB: What are you wearing?RS: It's just a little something from my 17th Century Collection. I have clothes from different centuries. (looking directly into the camera) I'm just that rich.BB: Ok, well, as for tonight's movie, I play one of the leads Miles Specter, code name The Ghost. He's the world's best hitman for hire, and he has been contracted to kill a foreign spy. Only the spy is really not a spy, so I've been framed and everyone wants to kill me. I gotta find out why I was set up and try to survive too!RS: There's some pretty big star power in this film. Sam Jackson. Clive Owen. Tell me, what was it like working with with?BB: It was a great experience, both Sam and Clive are incredibly talented and amazing actors. We had a lot of fun on the set, great guys. I had worked once before with Samuel Jackson a few years ago on Triple X3, but this was the first time I worked with Clive.RS: Okay, you know I have to ask you this question. You being a former pro wrestler...BB: (pointing his finger at Seacrest) Aah ah, former Heavyweight Champion.(they both share a laugh)RS: Former Heavyweight Champ. What do you think about Mickey Rourke's preformance in The Wrestler?BB: Wow. Mickey did a wonderful job capturing his character's essence in the film. He really dove head first into his character and the script. The movie treated sports entertainment in a very respectful eye, and they certainly held no punches back. I thought he made some very courageous moves with his character, and I hope he gets rewarded for it from the Academy tomorrow night.RS: Is he your favorite to win Best Actor at tomorrow night's ceremony?BB: Most defintely. Now, I haven't seen all the movies with the best actor nominees yet, but I plan to before tomorrow's ceremony. So far of the ones I have seen, I got my money on Mickey. I'm pulling for my guy.RS: Did you happen to hear the rumor that Mickey Rourke and current pro-wrestler Chris Jericho were going to have an actual match at this years Wrestlemania? But now it has been reported that Rourke backed out.BB: I did hear something about that, and you know, Mickey is a great guy, but he may have jumped at that match a little too fast without fully thinking it out. His opponent would have been Chris Jericho. He's a tough man in the ring, and while I think it would have been great for the fans to see, I understand why Mickey may have reconsidered. Mickey's a tough guy, but from what I hear, Jericho is bonafide.RS: Speaking of which, yourself being a former Heavyweight Champ, and now having been reitred for the past 10 years, would you ever consider a return to the squared circle?BB: (caught a little off guard) Uh, well, it's been quite a few years since I've stepped in the ring, and I'm pretty focused on my acting career right now. Now I've never been one to close a door on anything in my life, but I have to believe that my time has probably passed in professional wrestling. It's a part of my life that I will always cherish, and obviously it launched me into my acting career, but I don't miss that part of my past. But we're not here to talk about that, we're here for Suicide Run tonight! (looking directly into the camera) It's opening this weekend, everyone check it out, Suicide Run, it's going to be a good one!RS: Alright, I won't keep you any longer on the red carpet. Thank you, Beer Baron, good luck tonight, and talk to you soon.BB: Thank you, take care.RS: Suicide Run opens nationwide this Friday. Go check it out, and now I have Juliana near the theater with one of the other stars of the film, Samuel L. Jackson. Juliana...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:13:43 GMT -5
*Fade in to Dagobah for the last time (I promise). In the bright lights of the X-Wing Fighter, Skurge loads a heavy case into the belly of the ship. Arjoo sits on top of the X-Wing, settling down into his cubbyhole. Nate stands nearby on a log.
Nate: Skurge! You must complete the training. Skurge: I can't keep the vision out of my head. They're my friends. I've got to help them. Nate: You must not go! Skurge: But SYB and The Amnesiac will fail if I don't. Fezzik’s Voice: You don't know that.
*Skurge looks toward the voice in amazement. Fezzik has materialized as a real, slightly shimmering image near Nate. The power of his presence stops Skurge.
Fezzik: Even Nate cannot see their fate. Skurge: Really? With the rhyming again? I can help them! I feel the Promo! Fezzik: But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the dark side of the Promo. Nate: Yes, yes. To Fezzik you listen. The Hallway of Copyright Infringement. Remember your failure at the Hallway of Copyright Infringement! Skurge: But I've learned so much since then. Master Nate, I promise to return and finish what I've begun. You have my word. Fezzik: It is you and your abilities Moosehead Jack wants. that is why your friends are made to suffer. Skurge: And that is why I have to go. Fezzik: Skurge, I don't want to lose you the way I lost Moosehead Jack. Skurge: You won't. Nate: Stopped he must be. On this all depends. Only a fully trained wrestler with the Promo as his ally will conquer Moosehead Jack. If you end your training now, if you choose the quick and easy path, as Moosehead Jack did, you will become an agent of evil. Fezzik: Patience. Skurge: And sacrifice SYB and The Amnesiac? Nate: If you honor what they fight for...yes!
*Skurge is in great anguish. He struggles with the dilemma, a battle raging in his mind.
Fezzik: If you choose to face Moosehead Jack, you will do it alone. I cannot interfere. Skurge: I understand. I can’t afford to get disqualified with whatever the prize for winning the tournament is on the line. (He moves to his X-Wing) Arjoo, fire up the converters. Fezzik: Skurge, don't give in to hate — that leads to the dark side. Nate: Strong is Moosehead Jack. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can. Skurge: I will. And I'll return. I promise, eh?
*Arjoo closes the cockpit once Skurge is inside. Fezzik and Nate stand watching as the roar of the engines and the wind engulf them.
Nate: (sighs) Told you, I did. Reckless is he. Now matters are worse. Fezzik: That boy is their last hope. Nate: (looks up) No. There is another. Fezzik: Well yeah, I guess Dorothy or I could have stepped in. Nate: Exactly. Believe it I can’t that his training he would abandon because he feared his friends would fail at Rock Band. Fezzik: He really likes that game.
*Skurge's tiny X-Wing rockets away from the green planet of Dagobah and off into space.
*Skurge wakes to find himself in the palatial IHOP locker room. SYB and The Amnesiac are struggling to get through “Battery” by Metallica. Skurge gets up from his hospital bed and goes over to save his friends as we…
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:14:10 GMT -5
We fade in to see Alexander and Alexis Darling are driving their very expensive rental car down twisty turny country roads, back from a breakfast-with-the-fans, heading back to the OOWF Arena/Hotel/whatever. Alexander is driving, and Alexis is taking care of some business in the form of a phone call, that she's put on speaker phone for Alexander (and NinjaMics) to hear as well.
LD: What my brother dear means is that since you are the only belt holder in RunDEA right now--
AD: *grumble*
LD: --you need to start showing up at these fan events.
FW: (via speaker phone) I understand that but if you want me to keep this belt, I have some....look, could you at least respect me enough to know after all these years I wouldn't take off if it weren't important?
AD: *grumble*
LD: Okay, well really, you need to be back in time this week. Rick waived your fee last time, but I can't make any promises this time.
FW: I'll see what I can do, but it isn't up to me. How else is the week going?
LD: Okay, I guess. Phantos and Lucios and I are working together for the Trios titles, so--
FW: Yeah, hands off, okay?
LD: What? Who? Why?
FW: You know what, and you know who, and you know why. You asked me that once, and I agreed. Or do I need to remind you?
AD: Asked what? What are we talking about?
LD: Just drive Alex. And maybe slow down a bit, geez.
AD: I'd like to, but this guy is right on my ass.
FW: Lexie....I'm waiting....
LD: Fine, fine...hands off.
AD: This is some dating thing, isn't it.....
FW: You don't want to know the details, A.B. Trust me.
AD: Great. Two Moose quotes in one promo. That's just aweso--
Before he can finish the word, the car that was following too closely tags the rental car's bumper just enough to jolt everyone in the car.
FW: What the hell was that?
LD: I don't know. We gotta go, Fire. (Lexie presses the button to hang up) What is this guy's problem?
She turns around to see a nondescript black sedan with darkly tinted windows behind them. Alexander is looking quickly between the road and the rearview mirror.
AD: I dunno, but hang on, cos he's coming again.
The sedan makes contact again, this time much harder. The ninja cams that are following above in the helicopter, capture the scene as the sedan continues to make contact, pushing the Darlings' car when possible, and just smashing it when not. Finally the sedan seems to have backed off, and we cut back inside the rental car.
LD: Thank god that's over. What the fuck is that guy's deal? Pull over so we can check damage-
AD: Yeah, I...uh oh, I don't think so Lexie....
Camera cut back to the exterior overhead shot, as we now see what Alexander was seeing in the review mirror. The sedan had only dropped back to get up to speed. As the two cars head into a really sharp turn, the sedan hits the gas and rams the rental car one more time, driving it completely off the road. The sedan speeds away, leaving the rental car off the road, on it's side, with steam or smoke coming from under the hood. After a moment or two, the passenger side door is kicked open, and Alexis Darling disentangles herself from seatbelts and airbags, and pulls herself out. She's followed by Alexander Darling. They stare at each other in disbelief for a moment, and then start to work the cell phones. T
The camera fades to a commercial for a product by Ultimo, Inc.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 9, 2009 10:14:54 GMT -5
<SFJ13 catches up with Moosehead Jack in the hallway of the Nebraska Sportsman's Arena and Farming complex>
SFJ13: Moose, a few words about Skurge's preparation for his match against you this week?
MHJ: Preparation? Really? <looks at the camera> Skurge, you can do any kind of training you want. You can relive all the fantasies you want, the fact is, there is nothing you can do to beat me. Period. I will destroy you just like I destroyed that worthless partner of yours.
SFJ13: So, your agenda is destroying IHOP?
MHJ: No. I couldn't care less about IHOP, they are just the next in a line of victims that will help me reclaim my spot as the most feared man in the OOWF. Though, beating up that idiot SYB was a nice bit of fun. But that doesn't matter, winning the tournament is all that matters.
SFJ13: So, you are looking for a shot at the OOWF title then? Against LD Williams?
MHJ: Once again, you don't understand. The world title is in the best hands it has been in since September. I know if I want a shot, all I have to do is ask LD and the shot is mine. No, this is something else. The deeper I go in this tournament, the more time I have to make people suffer. And when I win? My title shot becomes something that is on the line during every single match I am in. You want it? Come get it. But let me tell you one thing. If you want what is mine, you are going to have to be ready to go through hell. You will have to be willing to put your body through more torture than I will gladly go through to leave my opponent broken, bloody and beaten in the middle of the ring. And from what I have seen? There is no one in the OOWF willing to go through that.
Trust me
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