MidWeek Mayhem (04/08) Live! From Hollywood, CA

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, California

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Non-Title Match[/u]
Poe vs. Stank

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Team From Down Under vs. Bryce Larson & Nayr

OOWF Onslaught Championship Non-Title Three Way Dance[/u]
Matte vs. The Dead vs. The Amnesiac

Onslaught Rules Match[/u]
Spin Hansen & Thim Reynolds vs. SEamus McNasty & DH Magnusson

Davin Moreland vs. Hi-Vo Sakamoto
Zane Myers vs. Tytan
KZ vs. IHOP
Firewoman & Chris Evans vs. Concrete TG & Blitz
Alexander Darling vs. Damon Wrath

card subject to celebrity scandal

[mooseheadjack]

<kz is looking over the card outside GM the Rick's door, clearly they could have used a few more days in the hospital, but they are out>

LD: What the.......

MHJ: IHOP? What the fuck?

<kz barges in and sees EMpty Team already standing there, GM the Rick is in mid-sentence>

GMtR.........and after that there is NO FUCKING WAY I...........well good, now we are all here

MHJ: What the hell Rick. We have unfinished business with these two, leave IHOP out of this

OBJ: With all due respect to Bryce and Nayr, our fight isn't with them

LDW: Not much of a fight against us either

GB: You want more time in the hospital?

MHJ: You think you can?

<just before the four men come to blows, GM the Rick jumps to his feet>

GMtR: THIS! THIS IS WHY NEITHER OF YOU GET THE MATCH YOU WANT! After the pay per vier........there is no way I am sanctioning you four again. Not anytime soon.

LDW: So just like that we are denied title shots?

GMtR: For the moment, yes

MHJ: Well then..........let's hope Larson and Nayr win this week

OBJ: Over our dead bodies

LDW: That's the plan

<kz leaves, the Aussies follow them, GM the Rick slumps back into his chair>

[mooseheadjack]

(The camera pans out to see a wide shot of the Ultimo Inc building. Diana Podvod has made her way into the picture. Lola is with her.)

Podvod: So, like I said earlier...tonight this all ends.

Lola: What do you mean by that?

(Podvod hold out an Firing Switch.)

Podvod: Simple. Firewoman your not the only one that knows a thing or two about fire. (To Lola) Consider yourself unemployed.

(She then hits the switch and explosions are seen coming out of Ultimo Inc. eventually leading to the whole building crashing down.)

Podvod: Tonight is the end to something I should have finsihed a long time ago. This is the end of Steele and Ultimo Inc.

Lola: You mean he was in there?

Podvod: He was but I also had the right combination of chemicals that you won't be able to prove a thing.

Lola: And Tytan?

Podvod: Gone. I made sure he wasn't around for any of this. All he needs to know is that I will be trying my best to find away to bring you back to your old self.
Tytan right now is just trying to figure out where he exists in the whole frame of things right now. The pains that he suffered retribution is coming and it will be in the form of blood. Did you see what he did to Zane tonight that is only the begining of it all.

(Podvod turns and walks off. But not before admiring her handy work.)

FADE

[mooseheadjack]

**'Bulletproof' Bryce Larson is in the Hallway of Random Encounters**

Voice: “Hey Larsen, hold up.”

**Bryce drops into a defensive posture as L.D.Williams approaches.**

BL: “What do you want?”

LDW: “Two things. First, congratulations on dealing with Moreland. That was pretty impressive.”

BL: “Thanks.”

LDW: “Second-”

**Williams kicks Bryce in the stomach and KILLS him with a Canadian Destroyer. The move takes a lot out of Williams as well, and it takes him a moment to crawl over to Bryce.**

LDW: “You and Nayr are in a difficult spot. Winning the Tag Team Championship would be the biggest accomplishment of your careers. On the other hand, if you win the titles, Moose and I are going to take them away from you. Painfully. More importantly, If you take the belts from the Aussies, I'll kill you. Not in the metaphorical sense, in the Biblical, Cain and Abel, sense. The titles, and the Aussies, belong to me. Remember that.”

**Williams gets slowly to his feet and hobbles away from the barely conscious Larson.**

[mooseheadjack]

*FADE IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*

<SYB is FUMING~! as he holds court with Skurge, The Amnesiac, the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Fezzik, and Monkh>

SYB: This is bullshit. Why is The Amnesiac always getting shots at the title and we’re stuck fighting douchebags like KY?

Skurge: Actually we’re fighting kz – KY is what you could have used with Dennehy, eh?

SYB: <mumbles> He spit on his hand first.

Skurge: What?

SYB: FUCK YOU! *I* am the leader of this here outfit, *I* should be getting shots for the title.

The Amn: But it’s not a title match.

Skurge: Forget it, he’s rolling.

SYB: I don’t care. This is MY town and I should be getting a hero’s welcome.

DM: Your town?

SYB: Read the fucking sign on that mountain, Lady Labia. SOLLY-FUCKING-WOOD!

Skurge: Wow.

The Amn: I know, right? It’s kinda sad actually.

Skurge: It suuuure is.

SYB: No, what’s sad is I bust my ass out there in the ring and all they do is make fun of my religion.

The Amn: Huh?

SYB: Didn’t you hear all that JOOOOO shit?

DM: Solly…

SYB: I’m tired of it!

DM: Solly…

SYB: WHAT?

DM: They weren’t making fun of your religion, they were-

SYB: Booing me? Booing ME? After all the 5-star matches, after all the blood I’ve spilled in that ring…

Skurge: Oh for fuck’s sake, they weren’t Jooing or booing. They were mooing.

SYB: …

Skurge: You really don’t remember when Dennehy and that steer turned you into Sollsbury Steak?

SYB: That never happened. I really don’t why you fucknuts insist it did.

The Amn: Well this is fun and all but I have a match to get ready for.

Skurge: Please take me with you.

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

We fade back in as Bryce Larson is LAYING~! on the ground in the Hallway of Random Encounters, where Nayr is shocked to find him.

N: Dude, what happened to you!? Why are you laying like that!?

BL: [Very groggy] ... Canadian Destroyer ... LD Williams ... [Early falls unconscious]

N: What? I don't understand...

Nayr gives Bryce a sip of Mountain Dew Code Red. Bryce looks up at the bottle, grabs it, chugs it, and suddenly sits up.

BL: Shit, that's great!

N: I knew that would work. Now, look at the camera and answer me again ... Wait ... [Looks at the camera man] Okay, start filmig us again--

BL: Fuck, they're filming? Hang on.

Bryce chugs the last little bit of Code Red, then drops back down into near unconsciousness.

BL: Pops back up for a second] Okay...Nayr...go!

An unseen production assistant slaps a prop in front of the camera and exclaims "Action!"

N: Dude, what happened to you!?

BL: [Very groggy, again.] Canadian Destroyer ... LD Williams ...

N: What? I don't understand...

BL: [Groggy, but raises his voice at Nayr.] I said ... CANADIAN DESTROYER ... LD WILLIAMS!

N: LD Williams hit the Canadian Destroyer on you? Here? Why?

BL: We ... We ... um ... here Lassie, read this.

Bryce hands Nayr a copy of this week's Midweek Mayhem line-up.

N: We're facing The Aussies? You cashed in the tag title shot!

BL: Yup ... And I guess he wasn't happy about that.

N: Well, we need to get you better. [Helps Bryce up.] Let's get you some more Code Red.

Fade out.

[mooseheadjack]

(It is early morning and Tytan is seen walking the remains of the Ultimo Inc building. He is wearing a half-mask that covers some of the burns that are on his face. Everything that is heard is basically an internal monologue from Tytan.)

Tytan: The remains of this building reminds me of the remains of what was once me. I walk this world now with a layer of darkness around me. I have to decide to either let that become a blanket and accept it or to kick it off and fight for the light.
I look through these remains and see what Diana is truly capable of and that scares me. She finally took the opportunity to finish the job she started a long time ago.
I see that it seems that my title is now vacant. Opportunities. I want my title back. I want the title that was stolen from me...once again blindsided by that Firewoman....Firewoman....the suffering that one person can cause....The damage that she has done...

(Tytan stops and see a bunch of broken glass on the ground. He looks at it as if it is almost talking to him. He then finds a slightly burned bag grabs it and begins to put the pieces of glass into the bag. He then takes a piece of glass and looks at it and smiles as he runs it down and into his arm.)

Tytan: Sometimes the best way....to remove scars...is to completely cut them out...maybe that is what needs to be done....remove the scars....and end the suffering once and for all...then that will be the ultimate ending.


(FADE)

[mooseheadjack]

*The Team From Down Under walks into the Heroes Guild locker room. Crete drops his copy of Wholesome Dairy Products magazine and leaps to his feet*

OBJ: No worries, mate.

GB: We just came for a friendly talk.

OBJ: Care for a beer?

*Crete shakes his head*

OBJ: Just as well, I've barely got enough for myself.

Crete: Citizens, what brings you here?

GB: Been watching OOTV today?

Crete: No, I've been catching up on my reading.

*Conveniently, the monitor in the locker room shows a replay of LD assaulting Larson*

Crete: What a dastardly deed!

GB: And KZ is just getting warmed up. Who knows what Moose will do, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.

Crete: I shall alert the Heroes Guild!

GB: Better yet, use your influence with Rick to change the card, or persuade Larson and the midget to call in sick. We'll convince IHOP to do the same and then Rick will have to match us up with Moose and LD. Problem solved for you.

Crete: Resorting to falsehoods and manipulation? Never!

OBJ: Told you he wouldn't go for it.

GB: Well, it was worth a try.

OBJ (reaching into his vest): Anyone want to eat a bug? No? Hey, that reminds me - Andrew Zimmern is on in a few minutes. *He grabs the remote control* Mind if I change the channel?

[mooseheadjack]

Poe and Seamus McNasty are sitting at the newly installed bar in Poe’s locker room watching the World Cup Qualifier between Italy and Ireland. Italy currently leads 1-0.

SM: C’mon lads! You can’t lose to these Eye Tai bastards!

Poe: Trust me, Robbie Keane will save the Boys in Green.

SM: Aye, he’s a good ‘un. Shame what those Liverpool wankers did to ‘im.

Meanwhile LD Williams is watching tape and scouting for kz’s match at Mayhem. Moosehead Jack is smoking hookah and giving the illusion he’s helping. Selena is sitting on the floor doing whatever Selena does.

That 70’s SFJ, Flower, enters the locker room warily and then heads to the bar and stands next to Poe.

F: Poe, I was wondering if I could get an interview?

Poe sighs.

Poe: Let’s make this quick.

Poe and Flower head towards the door to get away from the noise before starting the interview.

F: Poe, last week you defeated Stank in the World Title match he earned by winning the 2009 OOWF Invitational. Now you face him again, but in a non-title match. Your thoughts?

Poe: Stank is a great competitor, and a former OOWF World Champion. We had a great match last night, but to be honest, I’m not sure why we’re facing each other again.

As the interview continues, the camera pans away back to Seamus. Selena has since gotten up and sat next to him at the bar.

SG: Hi Seamus!

SM: ‘Allo lass.

SG: What’cha drinkin’?

SM: My usual.

Selena continues to look at him until he continues.

SM: Whiskey luv, whiskey.

Selena bats her eye lashes at him. It takes Seamus a few seconds to realize what she wants.

SM: You don’t want nun a this luv.

SG: Please? Just a sip?

Seamus sighs and slides his glass towards Selena.

SM: Don’t tell Poe a’ight?

Selena nods and takes the glass. She eyes it warily and then takes a sip. She then makes the most disgusted face you’ve ever seen.

SG: Omigosh how do you drink this??

SM: You get used to it.

There’s a roar from the television as Italy steals the ball from an Irish player.

SM: C’mon dammit!

Selena eyes the glass again and grabs it. She slams all the whiskey and slams the glass back on the bar and breathes heavily.

SM: You alright luv?

Back at the interview…

Poe: …and that is why I am the World Champion. Anything else Flower?

F: I didn’t follow anything of what you just said.

Poe: I’m shocked.

Suddenly we hear a yelp as Selena falls flat on her face after trying to get off the bar stool. She sits up and laughs.



Poe looks at Seamus who quickly looks away. Poe sighs and heads over to the bar and grabs a bottle of water. He then hands it Selena. She keeps laughing as she takes it.

Back at the couch with LD and Moose.

LDW: You should be watching this too you know.

MHJ: Please, I’ve destroyed SYB so many times it’s second nature.

Seamus yells with joy as Robbie Keane ties the score for Ireland. Selena continues to sit on the floor and laugh.







Disclaimer: OOWF and its corporate sponsors do not endorse or promote underage drinking.

Besides, everyone knows Seamus only drinks herbal tea…yeah…herbal tea.

[mooseheadjack]

<We pick up in the Poe locker room where Selena has now fallen over onto the floor and is asking anyone who will listen why the room is spinning so fast. Poe walks up to Seamus>

Poe: How much did you give her?

SM: Double shot at most.

Poe: Do we really need underage drinking on top of everything you guys have done this past week?

SM: No worries mate, underage drinking would be WAY at the bottom of THAT list, don't ya think?

Poe: You are probably right

<we turn back to LD and Moose who are still watching video, LD much more intently than Moose>

LD: LOOK! Skurge has a tell before he heads to the top! Are you watching this?

MHJ: Sure.

<LD shoots Moose an annoyed look>

MHJ: Look, LD, we are kz. I am not saying IHOP isn't talented, well.......at least Skurge is. But you know damn well we are better. If we go out there and do what we do best, there is not a tag team in the world that can hang with us. We don't need to study what THEY are going to do. THEY are not going to dictate the match, WE are going to dictate the match. They are going to have to try and stop US. And with SYB dead, there won't be anything Skurge can do to stop us

<LD ponders this for a moment>

LD: You have a point. A twisted and sick point, but a point nonetheless. Fine. I am going to watch some more on Skurge, this guy is pretty good. You dream up ways to kill SYB

MHJ: Deal

[mooseheadjack]

<GM the Rick is coming out of his office when he is stopped by SFJ1a>

SFJ1a: Rick, can I ask you a question?

GMtR: 1a?

SFJ1a: We are running out of numbers to put on the back of our blazers

GMtR: Naturally. What is your question?

SFJ1a: Well, this past week Davin Moreland defeated "The Main Event" Chris Cole and forced him to retire from the OOWF, what is the status of the Intercontinental title?

GMtR: Well, as of that moment, the Intercontinental title was vacant. At MidWeek Mayhem, Live From Hollywood, California, I will announce an 8-man tournament for the title to begin the following week. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some details to work out

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is carrying her bags to the door of the .. well, no. Lucky is carrying one bag, Evans is carrying another.

FW: Come ON Lexie, let's go.

DM: Davin Moreland would like to know just where Firewoman is going.

FW: Seriously? Do you not know what is this weekend?

Alexis and Alexander come in from their room...rooms...whatever, with OGM Shawn Johnson following behind.

AD: Shawn has something to ask you, Fire.

FW: Fantastic. What?

AD: Alexander pushes Shawn in front of him Go on, ask.

OGM SJ: Um..well, I .... I wanted to know if .... if I could go with you. To Wrestlemania.

FW: Seriously? Alexander, it's your plane, I don't care--

AD: Fire....she's asking you nicely.

Firewoman looks at her for a few minutes, then sighs

FW: Fine. Sure. Whatever. Just... well, don't bug me on the plane. That kind of goes for everyone.

LD: Yes, we're all aware.

DM: Davin Moreland is confused. Davin Moreland is perplexed. Davin Moreland is wondering why he wasn't invited.

AD: Because Davin Moreland had plans with Samantha, didn't he?

DM: Davin Moreland did but--

FW: Aw, honeymoon over already?

DM: Davin Moreland would like to know--

FW: Look Phantos said Lucios called to invite you. They don't live far from the festivities, so we can stay there, and then Chris will meet us--

C"L"E: Wait, he will? That's so incredibly--

AD: Yes, yes it is.

DM: Davin Moreland got no call from Team Aquafina

SD: Oh,... uh, yes you did. (Samantha has emerged from somewhere else. Damn, how big are the suites anyway?) Sorry, I forgot to tell you.

DM: Davin Moreland will deal with this later. Davin Moreland would like to know if Firewoman's therapist is okay with this, as there will numerous temptations for Firewoman, what with irritating divas and ... well, if both Phantos and Jericho are there....

FW: The doc is fine with this, and will be going with us. Or he will be going without us, since it's time to GO.

OGM SJ: Okay, I have my stuff, I'm ready. Firewoman just stares at her.

LD: Okay, the car is here...let's go.

Lucky, Evans, Alexis, Alexander, Firewoman, and now Shawn Johnson all head out to get in the limo to go to the airport. Alexander and Firewoman are behind the group a bit.

AD: Soo....if both Phantos and Jericho will be there.........

FW: What?

AD: Never mind. I don't want to think about it.

FW: You won't have time to.

AD: Huh?

FW: I have a friend or two that wants to say "Hi" to you.

AD: What? No, no way....I remember your friends.

FW: Oh...sorry. Allison will be crushed.

AD: Wait...who?

FW: Allison Wonderland. Oh, and Lacey wanted to say hi too. At the same time. Oh well, I'll call them from the plane to tell them you're not interested...

Firewoman walks on ahead, smiling. Alexander stops in his tracks, stunned for a moment, then runs to catch up.

AD: Wait...wait, I don't think those were my exact words.

[mooseheadjack]

Cut to the Heroes Guild locker room, where Concrete TG, Outback Jack and Gatorbait are watching Andrew Zimern.

Andrew Zimmern: So today, I'm going to eat this chocolate covered frog.

*Crunch*

Crete, Outback Jack, Gatorbait: Ugh...

Nayr and Bryce burst into the room.

Bryce: Crete, I was just assaulted by L.D. Williams and *notices Outback Jack* HI-YAAAAAAAH!

*He attempts to karate chop Jack but Gatorbait grabs his hand.*

Gatorbait: Hold on, there. Me and Jack aren't your enemies, not that I'm telling you something you don't already know.

Nayr: That IS something we don't already know, and... wait, how do we know we can trust you?

Bryce (quicker on the uptake): Because if they wanted to hurt us, they would have beaten up our leader, Crete. Nayr, you left him alone like an idiot.

Nayr: He wasn't alone though, he was with Blitz. What happened to him?

Crete: Ah, I can solve that mystery. He went on a Mountain Dew run, as our supply was running short.

Bryce: You mean, he's alone in the Hallway of Random Encounters...

Crete: Yes...

Bryce: Where I was just assaulted?

Crete: Oh, darn.

Nayr: Well, we have to search for him, right? Who knows what K.Z. could have done to them by now.

Outback Jack drinks a beer, and belches.

Gatorbait: That's Australian for "they could have horrifically mutilated him with a variety of foreign objects".

The Heroes Guild members freak out and dash out the door, leaving Outback Jack and Gatorbait alone in the locker room.

Andrew Zimmern: And now, I'm going to eat this deep-fried rabbit.

*Crunch*

Outback Jack and Gatorbait: Ech.

[mooseheadjack]

**FADE IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM**

<The boys are playing Rock Band when there is a knock at the door. Monkh answers it and comes back with a large envelope.>

Skurge: “What's that, chief?”

Monkh: “No idea. It says Top Secret...And it's got a Canadian postmark...”

SYB: “Gimme that! Whoo-Hoo! I told you registering as spies with CSIS would work! This must be our first mission.”

<SYB tears open the envelope and dumps out a CD. He tosses it to Monkh.>

SYB: “Put it in! Put it in!”

Amnesiac: “If I had a dime for every time I've heard that...”

S: “Or for every time Solly's said that.”

SYB: “Fuck You.”

<Monkh puts the CD on.>

“Bovine Reproduction for Beginners. Chapter One – The Anatomy.”

<With a scream, Solly dives for the CD player. He can't find the eject button, so he drops it on the floor and jumps on it until it stops playing.>

S: “I guess you don't need the beginner's course anymore, eh?”

SYB: “One – Fuck you. Two – It. Never. Happened. Three – Fuck you.”

M: “Hey, there's a note in the envelope too. It says “Solly - At least it was kosher. kz.”

SYB: “Rat Fucking Bastards! I'll kill them! I'll eat their fucking livers! I'll-”

**FADE**

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is STANDING~! in front of an OOWF Logo about to cut an old-school promo*

DM: Listen up, Hi-Vo Sakamoto. Hi-Vo Sakamoto may put the fear of God into the OOWF, but Hi-Vo Sakamoto doesn't scare Davin Moreland. Sure, Hi-Vo Sakamoto may have devastating Martial Arts skills and may obliterate everything in Hi-Vo Sakamoto's path, but Davin Moreland is the Greatest Champion in the History of the OOWF, and while that may not mean much to someone with the cache and backstory of the legendary Hi-Vo Sakamoto, it means a hell of a lot here. So Hi-Vo Sakamoto...Davin Moreland is coming. Watch out...............Cut.

*Davin walks away and heads to GM the Rick's office, barging in*

GMtR: The fuck do you want?

DM: GM the Weak, why is Davin Moreland not the Intercontinental Champion? Davin Moreland BEAT the Intercontinental Champion in decisive fashion last week. Davin Moreland should currently be holding the belt.

GMtR: Wasn't a title match.

DM: What shit is that? Not a title match? It was a fucking Retirement Loser Leaves Town match! Those are NEVER no-title.

GMtR: They are now.

DM: *grabs GM the Rick by the collar and speaks through gritted teeth* I will not be fucked with Rick. Make this fucking right, or so help me, what happened at Hell on Earth will feel like Mardi Gras compared to what the fuck I'm gonna do. *Davin puts Rick back down in the chair*

GMtR: Get the hell out of my office!

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in* as the presumed only remaining living members of The Heroes Guild are RUNNING~! into the Hallway of Random Encounters, where they randomly encounter Damon Wrath.

Concrete TG: Hey Damon. [No one stops running as this happens.]

Bryce Larson: [To both CTG & Nayr, but mainly directed at Nayr, and no one stops running as this happens.] Wait, can't he help us? I thought Wrath was in--

Nayr: Nope, he isn't. Not at all. [Still running...]

BL: Shit, I was gone too long, huh? [Still running...]

CTG: Yeah, you were. [Still running...]

The geeks come to a large plastic trash bin, inexplicably padlocked shut. You can hear what sounds like a person inside.

N: No, it couldn't be.

BL: kz went after him? I bet it is.

CTG: Citizens, we must get this sanitation recepticle open at once!

BL: Always living the gimmick, huh? Gimme those bolt cutters conveniently sitting right beside the trash can.

N: It's like they wanted us to find him.

BL: I take it back, you're not slower than most retarded children afterall.

N: Take it back? You never said that!

BL: To your face.

N: Wait...what?!

CTG: Citizens Paladin and Bulletproof...enough! We must get this sanitation device opened immediately! Citizen Larson, engage the bolt cutters!

BL: [Sarcastically] Aye, aye, captain!

Bryce cuts the padlock, and the top flies open. They turn the bin over, and Blitz rolls out. To say he's in bad shape would be an understatement. It'd be more accurate to say he's tarred, feathered, and lucky to have all his limbs, fingers and toes. (Although he still has one wrestling boot on, so we can't confirm he has all the toes on his left foot.)

N: This...this is...

CTG: I know little Paladin, words can not describe this. This is...

BL: Two words: Not. Cool.

*Fade out*

[mooseheadjack]

**L.D. Williams is in the Hallway of Expected Interviews when SFJ#47 approaches.**

SFJ#47: “L.D., judging by kz's words this week , you and Moosehead Jack don't seem terribly concerned about your match with IHOP this week.”

LDW: “Not true. You don't get to be as successful as we are by taking anyone for granted. Sure, Solly may be a joke, but I've seen a lot of guys with more talent, more potential, more charisma, more – well you get the point – who didn't last nearly as long as he has around here. That says something. And Skurge, well in this business champion is spelled C-A-N-A-D-I-A-N. Being dangerous in the ring is his birthright. Does IHOP stand a chance against kz? Of course not. But we'd be fools to assume it'll be an easy night.”

SFJ#47: “And what about the 'gift' you sent to SYB?”

LDW: “Everyone needs to have some fun once in a while. Unfortunately, Moose vetoed my first idea.”

SFJ#47: “Which was?”

LDW: “A CD of the theme from the Jeffersons...you know, Moooooovin' on up?”

SFJ#47: “That's not funny.”

LDW: <sighs> “Yeah, that's what Moose said.”

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan is in some location that is dark and unknown persumable the lower level of some building. He is wandering around this seems to have become is new "home" of sorts. This is all a voiceover as he walks around.)

Tytan: Each day I continue to fight to become elipsed by the darkness. But I feel each day a part of Tytan dies and it begins to happen quicker and quicker. The things I have seen this monster I am trying to keep away can do scares me....but there is some enjoyment from seeing someone bleed the way that Zane Myers did...by the way did I tell you welcome to the OOWF....do you see what it can do to you....and now you have to come back and do it again...don't you realize I can't control it when that happens....Tytan is not responsible for the bloodshed....Tytan is not responsible for the pain....Tytan is not responsible for the suffering...it is all him....that monster that is within me begging and pleading to come out and play....
...I have read the book that Diana has given me....I learned the sign lanuage and since that have communicated with her. She knows how to find me....she knows I like to live in the darkness now...down here with all the other monsters....I have giver her acess to the money that I have from when I owned Ultimo Inc. stock...good think she had me take it out before the explosion....now she is using that money to build a lab on her own that she can help me become Tytan again and not this monster....until then I will continue to live in the nothingness and fight when I have to....


(FADE)

[mooseheadjack]

<we see kz in the halls of the OOWF Arena>

LDW: This will never work

MHJ: Of course it will. How else are we going to get him out of the IHOP locker room?

LDW: We could just storm in there and take him.......

MHJ: We could but this is more fun. Beside, if we storm in there we have to deal with Amnesiac, Fezzik and Skurge.

LDW: Yeah, but this......this just can't work!

MHJ: Our normal bet?

LDW: Ok, fine, you're on. As long as we get to wail on SYB it would be worth it

MHJ: Oh we will, trust me

<Moose turns to a stage hand>

MHJ: Ok, go do what I told you, make SURE you get SYB at the door

<The stagehand leaves and heads to the Palatial IHOP locker room and knocks on the door, the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth answers>

TLATDM: Yes?

Stage Hand: Um, I need to see SYB

TLATDM: For what?

SH: Uh.....I can't tell you, official business.....<thinking quickly> I think GM the Rick wants to see him about a title match

<upon hearing this SYB pushes past The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and comes to the door>

SYB: It's about time that fucko GM the Rick recognized that I totally deserve a title shot! I will show Poe what's up. I am the re....ooo a penny!

<SYB picks it up>

S: Ooh a penny!

<SYB picks it up>

S: Ooh a penny!

<SYB picks it up>

S: Ooh a penny!

<SYB picks it up.....this continues down the hall and around the corner. Finally the pennies run out and SYB looks up, pissed off>

SYB: HEY! Where the fuck is the mone......WHUMP!

<Moose KILLS SYB with a barbed wire bat shot to the face. As he struggles to his feet, Williams grabs a chair and CRACKS it across SYB's face, then slams it on the ground and grabs SYB and hits a CANADIAN DESTROYER! SYB is DEAD! They pull SYB to his feet and LD holds him while Moose grabs a branding iron>

MHJ: Remind you of anything?

<Moose then sticks the hot end of the branding Iron onto SYB's chest and SYB screams in pain. When he pulls it away, all we see is two letters "kz" Moose follows that with a heart punch and LD lets SYB collapse to the floor, twitching and spitting up blood. kz stand over the fallen SYB for a minute, then LD pulls a wad of bills out of his pocket and starts counting off hundreds and hands them to Moose>

LD: I'll be damned, it worked

MHJ: Told ya

[mooseheadjack]

<after the kz beat down on SYB, the camera pulls back and we see Dr. Sidney Freedman watching the action with an odd look on his face. Dr. Freedman walks around the OOWF arena, just observing everyone in their natural element. Finally he comes back to his office and sits behind his desk and pulls out a pad and pen>

Dear Sigmund

Right now I am following a professional wrestling promotion, the OOWF, across the country. One of my patients works here, and I was asked to follow her around and see how she naturally interacts with everyone else. Sig, I have to tell you, this place is barely controlled chaos. They are under a lot of pressure, no doubt, but there is something comforting about this place as well. You would have a ball here.

They have conveniently broken themselves down into factions, and each one seems to reflect a different personality trait. I don’t know if this was intentional, or just an example of a group mentality adopting the traits of its strongest member. My patient, Firewoman, is in a faction called Run DEA, so that is probably a good place to start.

Firewoman has shown some……destructive tendencies. In most cases, that would be highly damaging to her, and her career. But she has apparently found a home in Run DEA. Run DEA is led by Davin Moreland, an interesting character that likes to talk in third person and makes up grandiose claims that can hardly be backed up. He is joined by DH Magnusson. DH is kind of a loner, he doesn’t seem to say much, but he appears to be fiercely loyal. He is a strange character. But possibly the strangest are the Darling twins, Alexander and Alexis. Alexis appears to have demons that she won’t talk to anyone about, and Alexander, that is a Napoleon complex gone completely awry. Given all those personality traits, you would think they could not POSSIBLY function as a unit, but yet, somehow there they are. They view each other as family and are fiercely loyal to one another. It really is an amusing and perplexing thing to see.

The next faction is Drink and Destroy. They are the longest tenured of the groups, and do command something like respect among those in the back. They are led by an enormous man that is called Stank. Stank is not your typical wrestler. Sure he can be just as violent as anyone else, but underneath that, there is a brain. He is quite calculating in his actions and statements a good person to have on your side, but a very dangerous enemy. Also in Drink and Destroy is Spin Hansen. Spin is an interesting case, he seems to suffer from a personality disorder, and always appears to be trying to find himself. I am not sure if he has figured it out yet, and I am not sure you or I could help him. The last two members of the group, and you would love these to, are Outback Jack and GatorBait. Their team name is The Team From Down Under, but they easily move between multiple personalities. The Team From Down Under are accomplished, fun-loving wrestlers. When pushed though, they slip into their Empty Team personas and become violent sociopaths. The fact that they move so fluidly from one to another is rather off-putting and considerably disturbing.

Moving to the next faction, The Heroes Guild. Sig, you know as well as anyone that insanity tends to tilt in violent and self destructive ways. The Heroes Guild has gone the complete opposite way. They are led by Concrete TG, a morally upstanding person who believes it is his destiny, and duty, to rid the world of evil doers. Joining Concrete TG is Blitz, he is pretty quiet, and I am not sure he is as bent on the heroic view of the world. He is very loyal to this cause, but I wonder what his motives are behind it. Next is Nayr. Nayr is a perfect example of repressed childhood. Nayr still hasn’t completely grown up. He is deeply into Dungeons and Dragons, drinks Mountain Dew like water, and appears to be afraid of women. Nayr has a lot of potential, you or I could probably do wonders with him. Fortunately for him, he has a sort of mentor in Bryce Larson. Larson is another interesting case. He is a braggart, and makes grandiose claims much like Davin Moreland, but he also seems to be a little more rooted in reality. Larson is calculating and scheming. He doesn’t quite fit in with the Heroes MO, but he has made a spot for himself by being the edgier side to the heroic sword.

Moving on, we have IHOP. IHOP, collectively, is a psychiatrist’s dream. They are a menagerie of personalities. They had Ms. Mantooth, a saint among this chaos, who tries to manage the IHOP affairs. They have a seven foot tall Icelandic beast named Fezzik that tags along, and a 13 year old Thai servant boy named Monkh that has taken up with them. As for the members of the group……..they are doozies. Skurge is the most normal of them all, and I use normal in the loosest sense possible. He is a Canadian who drinks to excess and plays video games. Really Sig, he may be the most normal one in this entire federation. One of his partners, The Amnesiac, is a legitimate amnesiac. The man has no recollection of his past. He just showed up in the OOWF as a wrestler. Making things even more bizarre, he seems perfectly content not finding out what his past life was and rather just continuing on the path he is on now. Then there is SYB. Sig, I have never seen a better example for psychiatric help in my life. He has created this fantasy world that he lives in, which is not uncommon for wrestling, but his fantasy world is a sight to behold. He has no comprehension of his limits and picks fights with those stronger than he is, and he gets destroyed each time. And yet, time after time, he gets back up, claims he won, and repeats the process. Sig, they say the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By that definition, SYB is clearly insane.

The last faction is one that is unnamed, but this one is something else as well. There is no real structure, so I will just start with Poe. Poe is a lot like Stank. He is prone to incredibly violent outbursts, especially toward Alexander Darling, but then he shows his education by quoting Edgar Allen Poe. He is cold and calculating to some, but then warm and fatherly to his valet Selena. It is quite remarkable. Next in this group is Seamus McNasty. Seamus is a hard drinking Irishman prone to violence. To be perfectly honest, I worry about him a lot less than most others. He drinks, he fights, he gets it out of his system. He does have quite the hatred toward the English, but that is a debate rooted in history. Finally, the tag team of that group, kz, they are a remarkable case. Comprised of Moosehead Jack and LD Williams, they are one of the more feared teams in the OOWF. Individually, LD Williams is a lot like Skurge. A technically gifted wrestler that does what he does with little or no fanfare. But when paired with Moosehead Jack they become two of the most violent, destructive men I have ever seen. And Moosehead Jack! There is someone who is a complete psychopath. Cold, calculating, unfeeling, willing to injure himself to hurt others, Sig, he is someone that I would worry about mightily. Like the others, he survives in this environment, and thrives, but put elsewhere, and like many others, he would be a danger to himself and others.

There are others that have managed not to align themselves in a faction. Tytan is a remarkable example of the need to be guided. He has been led by his handlers and guided by so many people. He is finally starting to show signs of wanting his independence, but he is still repressing a lot of emotions and feelings, making him a ticking time bomb. Thim Reynolds is also mostly unaligned. He is an interesting character with a sketchy past. He does not talk much, but seems to take great pleasure in making people scream in pain. Not quite the sociopath as Empty Team or Moosehead Jack, but a very dangerous person who should be watched carefully. Matte is someone you would love to talk to. This guy has disassociation to a remarkable degree. He is here, but seems to hate his surroundings, he is a wrestler, but seems to hate competition. He seems lost, and no one has any idea what he is looking for. Let’s see, who else is there? Zane Myers is a new guy around here. And of course, he is another odd case. He is quite friendly and outgoing outside the ring, but the second the bell rings, he becomes a caged animal. His ferocity in the ring is concerning. Then, when the bell rings again, he is a friendly man. He is like Pavlov’s dogs taken to an extreme degree. Next, we have The Dead. Really, there is nothing too concerning about The Dead. He keeps to himself, but being a loner is not odd, especially not around this group. He seems to have his own agenda that he keeps mostly to himself. He has made great strides from what he once was, I think I would put him with Skurge and LD Williams in that category of, as well adjusted as one can expect around here. Finally, there is Chris Evans. Evans is a lot like Alexander Darling, a classic Napoleon complex. He is the little man who thinks he is seven foot tall and bulletproof. Evans changes between respect and disrespect at the drop of a hat, you can never tell how he will approach an opponent or friend. It could be the same approach, it could be vastly different.

<Just then Dr. Freedman hears crashing and yelling outside his door>

Well Sig, I should finish this up. It sounds like the natives are getting restless again. This has been one of my more challenging assignments, but one that I could probably write volumes on at some point. The stress to perform for these people is tremendous, and the way they deal with it is fascinating. You may recall my dealings with a MASH unit in Korea. In many regards, this is similar. Where they used jokes and drinking to blow off steam, I believe the people here turn to violence as a release. It is quite disturbing and remarkable at the same time.

Until next time, respectfully yours

Dr. Sidney Freedman

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is WORKING OUT~! at Phantos and Lucios's home gym, being spotted by Phantos, and supervised by the ever present Dr. Freedman (who appears to be finishing up some letter writing), when Evans comes in.

C"L"E: Hey. Getting ready for our match Wednesday? Shouldn't we be headed back to OOWF?

FW: (completing her set) We're going to RAW tonight. Well, I am. I have no idea what you are doing.

C"L"E: Well, I would....I don't want to invite myself along, but it was just a great night last night, meeting everyone backstage, and the party!! Wow. I'm actually surprised to see you here.

FW: Why?

C"L"E: Well, you drank ... uh, quite a bit, and I thought.... well, with your.... uh.....

FW: Look. If you're going to be a member of RunDEA, which depends HIGHLY on your performance, Wednesday, and on your ability to not piss me off before then, you need to learn to just spit it out.

Dr. F: Fire....It's entirely likely your past actions and reactions have caused this young man to be hesitant about how he responds to you.

FW: So? He needs to have the fucking balls--

But Dr. Freedman gives Fire a look. She sighs and then turns back to Evans.

FW: I'm sorry, Chris. Dr. Freedman is correct. I feel .... I feel that you may be uncomfortable voicing your concerns, and for my role in that I apologize. Please, do speak freely.

C"L"E: (looking somewhat hesitantly between Firewoman, Lucky, and Dr. Freedman a few times: Well, it's just with the medications, I figured drinking alcohol would be a no-no, is all, and maybe have some nasty side effects, or at least a nasty hang over.

FW: (taking a moment to figure out how best to positively and proactively respond) Thank you for your concern, Cub, but I wasn't drinking nearly as much as it appeared. In fact, what looked like whiskey was really ginger ale.

C"L"E: Really?

FW: Sure, why not.

C"L"E: Okay, so I had some thoughts about our match against Concrete and Blitz...

The OOWF-TV screen again goes to snow and white noise, and then once again out of the snow comes a red Japanese character, with "Honor" written underneath it. It holds for a while......... and then the screen goes to snow again and with a buzz, we are back to OOWF-TV again

FW: Yeah, that might work, but just remember, Blitz can be unpredictable, even if he is a Guild member. Sometimes he shows up, sometimes he doesn't.

C"L"E: Okay.

Phantos: Come on, Lisa, we were going to get dinner before the show, and our reservations are soon.

C"L"E: You're not going out with....you know....?

FW: Mickey Rourke's punching bag? No. Not today.

C"L"E: Does he....know.....

FW: You and I talk wrestling. That's it. C'mon, Phantos.

P: Yes ma'am.

FW: See you, Cub. You'll clean up, right?

They leave, followed by Dr. Freedman. Evans begins to straighten up the gym.

[mooseheadjack]

*Run DEA Luxury Suites*

OGM SJ and Alexander Darling are relaxing in the suite going about their day to day business before Shawn has to leave for another 2 days of Dancing with the Stars tapings.

OGM SJ: Any words on your match before I go?

Alexander: Sure, Shawnie...Damon Wrath of the Heroes Guild, you will not win.

OGM SJ: And?

Alexander: I will win.

OGM SJ: Seriously, that's it?

Alexander: It's Damon Wrath, what should I say? I don't even know if he's still in the Guild. He shows up on Wednesdays, collects his paycheck, lays on his back, and goes home. This week won't be any different. But if you want your soundbyte OOWF fans, here it is...what you will see on Wednesday night will be the dawning of the new Alexander Darling. No more playing games with my past. No more bragging about past accomplishments. Wednesday at Mayhem will begin a new era of Alexander Darling and Run DEA. Don't miss it...

BOOYAH, Bitches!

[mooseheadjack]

Somewhere in a hotel in Texas, after Monday Night Raw, Alexander Darling is WALKING~! down a hallway, with Allison Wonderland on one arm, and Lacey on the other. They appear to have had a good time this weekend.

AW: It's too bad you have to go.

AD: I know, ladies, but duty calls. I have to destroy yet another wrestler's career.

Lacey: We should totally stop by Firewoman's room and thank her for introducing us.

They arrive at the outside of RunDEA's suite of rooms to find Lucky outside, leaning against the wall, sipping from a flask.

AD: What's going on? Why are you out here?

L: Fighting.

AD: In the RunDEA Suites? I'm shocked. Who is it this time?

L: Firewoman and.....him.

AD: Really? (he listens at the door for a minute). Can't be. I don't hear any glass breaking.

L: I know. It's like...they're fighting, but...she's just not...herself. She's all calm and reasonable.

AD: Oh please....That's not our Firewoman.

L: No, I know, but since this doctor has been hanging around she's all... weird.

AD: Well, I'm not standing out in the hallway. Ladies, it's been a pleasure, but I think this is a family matter.

AW: Okay, well tell Fire I'll e-mail her later.

AD: Will do.

Allison and Lacey each give Alexander a kiss and then walk down the hall. Alexander watches them walk for moment, shakes his head, and turns to open the door. He walks in to find Firewoman and Jericho in deep discussion.

FW: Look, I made a mistake okay? It happens.

AD: What's going on here, kids?

Y2J: None of your business, Alexander.

FW: Chris is upset because I placed a bet and lost.

AD: Huh?

Y2J: You bet AGAINST me. You ACTUALLY thought that those three has-beens would win.

FW: So? I thought it told a better story, and--

Kayfabe peeks in.

FW: -- I mean, the odds were great?

Y2J: You know, I put up with a lot in this relationship. I don't mind the lack of commitment, the secrecy, the randomly shifting moods that bear no correlation to reality.... but the biggest night of the year...no, the biggest night of my career, and you place a cheap, and might I add, ILLEGAL, bet against me?

FW: Um...yes?

Alexander sits on the edge of a table, enjoying the show.

FW: Chris, I feel that you are taking your issues from last night and projecting them unfairly on to me. It was a harmless--

Y2J: What issues?

FW: Well, there was that......that........

Y2J: WHAT!

AD: I think she's referring to the punch heard 'round the world.

Y2J: Butt out.

FW: I know you were probably disappointed that a mere actor with a limited boxing career and absolutely no legit wrestling experience was able to land such a weak punch and totally punk you out like that--

Y2J: He did not.

AD: Actually, he kind of did.

Y2J: I wasn't ready for him, it was a lucky shot.

Firewoman's demeanor changes, as what ever anger she's been repressing bubbles to the surface.

FW: How the FUCK can you even say that? It took him longer to get into the ring to than it takes Undertaker usually. The only way you COULDN'T have been ready is if you were fucking BRAIN DEAD. Wait, I guess you HAVE been fucking Brain Dead, haven't you?

Fire picks up a glass vase and gets ready to throw it. Alexander and Jericho both take a defensive posture, when Firewoman stops, mid wind-up, and calmly puts the vase down, and takes a deep breath.

FW: I feel that this conversation is becoming counter productive, and we are not hearing each other. I'm going back to my room, and we are done.

Y2J: Done?

FW: You heard me. I have to work on my own issues right now, and you are not helping. Please don't call me, as.... I feel that would be harmful to my recovery process.

And with that, Firewoman turns and walks down the hallway to her room, leaving Jericho and Alexander to stare at each other. Alexander is trying hard at first to suppress a grin, but it doesn't last.

Y2J: What the fuck are you smiling at?

AD: Dude, she just dumped you.

Y2J: Yeah, I know. It happens about every six or seven months. Although she was way more calm about it this time. Kind of creepy.

AD: Are you serious? Are you that stupid? Assclown, this is YOUR fault. THIS is the Firewoman you all wanted. You, and Lance, and all your therapists when she got to Canada. I barely recognized when we met up here. You destroyed the Queen of Ultraviolence when you ran into her at that airport.

The two start moving closer in that way that men do when they're going to fight.

Y2J: Yeah right. She was the queen of hiding from her own shadow. Just what the hell DID you all do to her before she left that WE had to try to put back together.

AD: What did I do? I fucking kept her alive, jack ass.

The two are now face-to-face, nose-to-nose. Finally, Jericho smirks, and turns to walk away.

Y2J: I don't have time for this. I have more important things to do.

He turns to walk away.

AD: Got more octogenarians to beat up? (Jericho stops) Or maybe there's a washed up actor out there who could--

Alexander barely gets the last word out when Jericho turns and charges him. Alexander, knowing that goading him would probably work, is ready and kicks him right in the solar plexus. Jericho doubles over, and Alexander grabs him, and DARLING DRIVER! Jericho is down, and Alexander is beside himself, almost jumping with glee.

AD: DAMN, that felt good. I've been waiting for SUCH a long time to do that, without facing the wrath of Firewoman. (He leans over to get into Jericho's face) So you've been beaten by has-beens and actors this weekend, and now by someone who is better than all of them combined. Maybe YOU should think about taking your own advice, and hanging it up. To quote a very good friend....no, family member......that would totally sparkle with me.

BOOYAH, BITCH!

Alexander leaves the room toward his bedroom as Lucky comes in to help Jericho up, and out the door.

[mooseheadjack]

*FADE BACK IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*

<The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth is watching OOWF-TV when she sees kz destroy SYB>

DM: Fezzik! Go get him!

<Fezzik runs out of the room and immediately returns with a bloodied and bruised SYB>

Skurge: What happened, chief?

SYB: <looks down at the still smoking branded "kz" on his chest> Oh this? It's my new tattoo. Do you like it?

<The rest of IHOP exchanges WTF looks>

Skurge: That's not a tattoo, partner.

SYB: Of course it is. It says "kz" and I totally wanted it there.

The Amn: Really? What does "kz" stand for, Kosher Zoo?

<SYB turns his head like a dog>

The Amn: The rabbi makes sure the animals are clean.

<SYB shakes his head>

Skurge: KZ and the Sunshine Band?

SYB: It clearly stands for "Kosher Zucchini"... cuz that's what I'm packing down there.

DM: <trying to hold back a laugh> Funny, I saw you in the shower. I didn't see a zucchini.

Skurge: It was there, it just wasn't visible.

DM: Ew.

The Amn: Seriously.

SYB: Fuck you all, the water was cold!

Skurge: Fuck this noise. <He grabs his barbed-wire wrapped hockey stick and heads toward the door>

DM: Where are you going?

Skurge: <in a Scottish accent> I'm going to pick a fight.

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

Poe and Selena are WALKING down the Hallway of Random Encounters (you'd think we'd know better). They stop as they see security escourting (ie helping) Chris Jericho leave the arena. Poe leans against the wall with a sadistic smile.

SG: *clapping in rhythm* Rejected! Rejected! You just got rejected! R-E! J-E! C-T-E-D, Rejected!

Jericho looks back and sneers. Poe's smile turns from a smile to a sneer. Jericho quickly turns his head back towards the exit. Poe's smile returns.

Poe: You know what goddess?

SG: Um...loaded question...

Poe: I think the Boy's starting to get it. Well done...Alexander.

Poe places his arm around Selena's shoulders as they turn to walk back towards their locker room.