OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Arizona
BEER BARON vs. JOHNNY ICEPICKJohnny Icepick is out first, the crowd boos him loudly, he sneers at them and threatens a few of them with the ice pick he brings to the ring with him. Icepick steps between the ropes, threatens the referee, then waits for his opponent to make his way to the ring. “When the Levee Breaks” starts, and after a few seconds Beer Baron steps from behind the curtain to a HUGE ovation. He stands there and soaks it all in for a moment, then slowly makes his way to the ring savoring every minute of the cheers. Baron steps between the ropes, and Icepick immediately attacks, hammering Baron with shots to the back of the head and kicks to the mid-section. Icepick tries a whip to the ropes, but Baron reverses it and elevates him with a high back body drop. Baron makes the motion for Icepick to get to his feet, when he does, Baron scoops him up and plants him with a slam. Icepick gets up once again and Baron throws a drop kick, doesn’t QUITE hit the mark as he wanted to, but catches enough if Icepick to send him across the ring. Baron gets to his feet and tries another whip but Icepick reverses it. On the rebound, Icepick drops to the mat and Baron steps over and hits the ropes again, Icepick tries a hip toss on the return, but Baron blocks it and DRILLS him with a clothesline. Baron falls on Icepick and grabs a side head lock. Baron looks a little winded, like maybe he doesn’t quite have his conditioning where it needs to be. Icepick works his way to his feet and lifts Baron for a belly to back suplex, but Baron shifts his weight and takes him to the mat with another side head lock. Icepick fights his way to his feet once again, and this time, behind the referee’s back, he hits a low blow that breaks the hold and doubles Baron over in pain. Icepick hits the ropes and catches Baron with a running neck breaker that takes him to the mat. Icepick covers, but Baron rolls his shoulder at two. Icepick gets to his feet and Baron is on one knee, Johnny hammers Baron with shots to the head, but Baron shoves him back, sending him to the ropes. On the rebound, Baron snaps off a nice power slam for a two count. Baron gets to his feet first and waits for Icepick to stand up, then catches him with a boot to the side of the head, catches him before he falls and lifts him for a power bomb! But Icepick fights it, and they stagger toward the ropes. Icepick reverses it to a hurrancarana that takes both men to the floor. On the outside, Icepick lands hard. Baron gets to his feet first and rolls into the ring breaking the count, then reaches between the ropes for Icepick, but Icepick has his ice pick, and SLAMS it right between Baron’s eyes! The referee never saw a thing, and Baron staggers back to the middle of the ring, doubled over, grabbing his head. Baron staggers back to the ropes and Icepick slips into the ring and rolls him up, and puts his feet on the middle rope and gets the one, two, THREE! What an upset!
WINNER in 7:14 – Johnny Icepick
Icepick slides out of the ring and celebrates, taunting Baron. The crowd sits in stunned silence. Inside the ring, Baron realizes what has happened and cannot believe it. He slowly leaves the ring with his head down and heads to the back.
CHAD MADISON vs. THE SUN DEVIL KIDThe Sun Devil Kid makes his way to the ring first, he is the Arizona State Lightweight Champion and pretty popular with the crowd. ”Desperado” by Clint Black plays, and OOWF newcomer “Cowboy” Chad Madison makes his way to the ring, riding a white horse and waving to the crowd. The fans give him a nice ovation. He dismounts and ties up his horse at ringside and steps between the ropes. Madison offers The Sun Devil Kid his hand, and they shake then head to their respective corners. The referee finally calls for the bell, and this one is underway. Both men meet in the center of the ring and lock up. The Kid grabs a side head lock, but Madison sends him to the ropes. Kid springs off the middle rope and tries a cross body block, but Madison ducks it. Somehow Kid still grabs Madison and takes him over for a sunset flip and a two count. Madison kicks out and rolls to his feet and charges, but Kid sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a head scissors take over. Both men pop to their feet again and Kid grabs Madison and scoops him up and slams him, then hits a standing moonsault for another two count. Madison is quickly back to his feet and Kid charges to the corner, runs the ropes, then turns and hits a twisting senton for another two count. The crowd erupts into a SDK! SDK! Chant. Madison is on his feet, he looks impressed and gives SKD a clap of respect. They lock up again and once again SDK grabs a side head lock, Madison shoves him to the ropes and on the rebound SDK tries a victory roll, but Madison turns it into an Electric Chair drop! Madison quickly gets to his feet and climbs to the second rope and leaps, dropping a Bret Hart elbow across SDK’s sternum. Madison covers, but SDK kicks out at two. Madison pulls SDK to his feet and lifts him for a vertical suplex, and leaves him up there to think about it for a long time, then brings him STRAIGHT DOWN! BRAINBUSTER! Madison covers SKD and hooks the leg, but somehow SDK manages to roll the shoulder! Madison looks impressed once again, but doesn’t hesitate to pull SDK to his feet and send him to the ropes, on the rebound Madison catches SDK with a big boot to the face, then hooks another suplex, this time though, he drops him across the top rope and hits a slingshot suplex for another two count. SDK is a bit groggy now, and Madison gets to his feet and motions for his finisher. As SDK is struggling to his feet, Madison climbs to the top rope and leaps and hits a LARIAT! Madison immediately covers, hooking the head and both legs and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 5:10 – “Cowboy” Chad Madison
DH MAGNUSSON vs. SYB vs. SEAMUS MCNASTYThe three men enter in that order, with their appropriate theme music and entrances. SYB eyes DHM and SMN warily, given their last encounter at Ric’s Sandwich Shop. Surely they don’t want retribution! Don’t call SYB “Shirley,” because the referee gives the signal and we get the bell.
At first, the three men just look at each other, then Seamus and DHM lock eyes, shrug, and then start wailing away on SYB, landing all sorts of punches one after the other, in unison, whatever works. SYB goes down in a heap, and the other two continue their wailing. SYB finds space and crawls between DH’s legs, and stands up behind the referee, using him as a shield. DH and Seamus start to go for him, but the referee points to his uniform. Seamus and DH look at each other, shrug again, and then each lands a big right haymaker onto the other. DH recovers first, and follows up with an elbow drop to Seamus’s shoulder, driving the Irishman down to one knee. He grabs Seamus around the neck, and pulls him back up and into a vertical suplex. Instead of going for the cover, DH begins the Garvin Stomp, but he’s interrupted by SYB who comes from out of nowhere, apparently and shoves DH to the side. SYB continues where DH left off, but the delay was enough to allow Seamus to recover, and he grabs SYB’s foot. SYB immediately waves off and tries to call for a time out, but there’s no time outs in wrestling. Seamus immediately goes for the Four Leaf Clover (Figure 4 leg lock). He cranks down and SYB reaches out to try and grab the ropes. Nothing doing, though, as Seamus is not letting SYB anywhere near the ropes. DHM has been standing back, watching, and just as it looks like SYB is getting ready to tap, DH chooses the right moment to come in and break up the hold. SYB grabs his ankle in pain, as Seamus glares at DH. The two have a conversation about how this may damage their drinking-buddies relationship, and SYB takes the opportunity. He comes up behind DH, grabs him from behind, and hits a Swinging Neck breaker! DH goes down in a heap. Seamus starts for SYB, but SYB greets him with a thumb to the eye, that the referee doesn’t see because he’s checking on DH. SYB pounces on Magnusson and hooks the leg. The referee counts one..two…but it’s broken up by Seamus, who pulls SYB by his sore leg. He stomps on the leg once, twice, and goes for three, but SYB rolls away. He looks around, and as Seamus dives for him, SYB hits a drop toe hold that connects Seamus to the ring post. He drags Seamus back, rolls him up and tries another pin, but it fails again as DH has recovered and breaks it up at two.
SYB is furious and starts to…complain to the referee? Whatever. While he’s doing that, DH goes over to a still out-of-it Seamus, and gets him on his feet again, and after some punching exchanges, gets him around for the inverted brain buster. He goes for the pin, but SYB is done discussing politics with the referee and pulls him off. DH has had enough. He starts once again with the big haymakers, getting SYB eventually backed into the corner. The referee gets involved, but it’s sort of too late, as SYB has some nice bruising starting. The referee pulls DH off, but as SYB tries to recover, he doesn’t notice that Seamus is on his feet, and runs into the corner with a splash. He gets SYB up and into the right position, and hits the Black and Tan. He rolls SYB up for the pin, but SYB kicks out! Seamus puts the boots to SYB again, and he is joined by DH. The two start pushing each other in between kicks to SYB. Finally, DH has had enough, and runs back against the ropes and flies forward, nailing Seamus with the Jersey Hammer. Seamus goes down, and DH starts to go for the pin, but SYB reaches up and hits the Jersey Turnpike! DH goes down, SYB starts to go for the pin, but Seamus’s head is a lot harder than most, and he’s up. He grabs SYB as he’s trying for the pin, and rolls him up. One, two, three!
WINNER in 16:54 – Seamus McNasty
SKURGE vs. CONCRETE TGConcrete TG, along with the rest of The Heroes Guild, head to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and posing on the turnbuckles to the delight of the crowd. Blitz, Nayr & Bryce bolt, leaving CTG in the ring to prepare for his one on one match.
“Bawitdaba” fires upon the PA system as Skurge makes his way to the ring! Both men stare at each other as the ring announcer introduces both to the crowd. The bell rings, they lock-up and we’re underway!
Skurge breaks the collar-and-elbow tie-up and immediately chops CTG in the chest! CTG responds with a chop of his own! Skurge goes for another chop, but CTG catches the arm and takes Skurge down into an arm bar. Skurge pulls himself towards the ropes, finally reaching, forcing CTG to break the arm bar. Skurge tries to shake some feeling back into his arm, but is met with a dropkick from CTG! Skurge rolls to the outside, trying to shake off the effects of both moves.
Skurge rolls into the ring to break the count, and rolls back out. The referee restarts the count, and Skurge does this two more times, frustrating CTG. CTG teases a tope to the floor, but stops at the ropes as Skurge is ready. Skurge starts talking back to some fans, and ‘Crete takes off with a no look tope suicido to the floor! Skurge catches CTG, and rams him shoulder first into the ring post! Skurge maintains his hold on CTG, ramming him into the post several more times. The referee abandons his count, going outside to check on CTG. Skurge rolls CTG back into the ring, and then throws him shoulder first into the corner.
Skurge continues the onslaught on CTG’s now injured shoulder spending the next 4 minutes solely focused on that one body part. Skurge finally lifts ‘Crete up, dropping him onto his knee for a shoulder-breaker. ‘Crete screams in pain as Skurge locks in a the cobra clutch, pulling on the injured shoulder in the process. CTG tries to fight out, finally getting Skurge towards a corner. CTG flips both men over, but they roll through, and Skurge catches CTG in a body scissors, still holding onto the clutch. CTG starts to fades out, and the referee checks the arm. It drops once…twice…three times! CTG is out and the match is over!
WINNER by TKO in 13:22 – Skurge
DAVIN MORELAND & ALEXANDER DARLING vs. BRYCE LARSON & NAYR“War Machine” blasts over the PA and the fans get to their feet. Crowd Favorites Nayr and fellow Heroes' Guild Stablemate “Bulletproof” Bryce Larson wait patiently for their pyro and then make their way to the ring, slapping hands and signing autographs for 6-year olds, which makes up like 80% of their fan base (the rest made up by Comic Book Geeks, clearly, and a few straggling Indy Wankers). Finally they get to the ring and do some posing. Former Senior Referee Sterling Glaw will be working this match, his first “Heroes' Guild” match in a very long time. Intrigue? We'll see. The house lights suddenly go completely out, and in simple white block lettering on the black screen, the message “A New Era” fades onto the screen and slowly fades out. It's replaced by “Begins Tonight” and THAT slowly fades out. We hear the opening chords of
”Killing in the Name Of” . Finally, it's replaced in rapid fading succession by “GOAT” “Run DEA” “Alexander Darling” “Davin Moreland” and then darkness again, replaced by slow flashing Red and Blue lights throughout the arena until the first “Killing in the Name Of” comes from Tom Morello. Then, it's pyro here, there, and everywhere until the arena changes to a blacklight background with 2 small spotlights on Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling. Clearly Run DEA paid for their own production tonight. The two slowly make their way down to the ring, dressed uncharacteristically simply, wearing just long black wrestling tights with “Run DEA” in gold on the back. No move is made toward the crowd on the long, slow march to the ring. Both get to the floor near the ring apron and one-hop the apron before climbing through the ropes. Neither man takes their eyes off the other two. The music fades and these two look, well, a little different than normal, focused maybe. Both teams discuss who will start, and it looks like Nayr and Davin, oddly enough. Glaw calls for the bell, and WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Davin shoots a look over at Larson across the ring as Nayr is about to lock up with him. Clearly, Davin is looking to pick up where he left off with Larson, and Davin is yapping at him from across the ring. Davin tells Nayr to tag in Larson, and Nayr responds with a big kick to the face! The crowd loves that, but Davin no-sells the kick and GOOZLES Nayr, Choke slamming him to the mat! Davin points menacingly at Larson, before walking backwards and tagging in Darling. Darling is a little surprised by Davin's actions, but immediately goes over to cover Nayr, who is able to kick out at 2. Darling pulls Nayr up, and tries for a Slingshot Brain buster, but Nayr is able to counter into a Cross-Body after the slingshot. Darling rolls through and reverses into a cover, and Nayr kicks out at 2. Darling attacks, but Nayr catches him with a Pele Kick out of nowhere, followed by a speedy Springboard Back Elbow which staggers Darling. Nicely snapped off Hurricarana sends Darling to the mat. Nayr's gonna fly! He goes to the top rope and takes off for a beautiful Corkscrew Moonsault, but eats canvas as Darling rolls out of the way. Darling hits a Standing Moonsault of his own, and gets a 2 count. Darling is up, and drops a few elbows to the inside of Nayr's knee. The ground-and-pound approach seems to work as Nayr is struggling and is getting dragged closer to the wrong corner. Darling finally grabs Nayr's legs and goes for the DARLING MONEY CLIP! Nayr's in a bad spot, and his knee is already weakened. Glaw leans down to check on Nayr.
Larson comes across the ring to break the hold, but Moreland sees him coming and stops him halfway across the ring. Glaw breaks this up, and harasses Moreland back to his corner, which allows Larson to break the hold. Davin is steamed at Glaw at what he perceives as blatant favoritism. Darling shakes off the kick to the head, and is able to grab the weakened Nayr. He's got him on his shoulder and it looks like he's going to Lawn Dart him! Nayr slips out the back door and hits a weak Lung blower, but it's enough for Nayr to get to his own corner via an over-the-top forward roll and dramatically tag Larson. Larson is in just as Darling tags in Moreland, and we've got ourselves a face off. The two men circle for a bit before they lock up. They do lock up, and the much bigger Davin is shoving Larson around pretty easily. Larson is able to squeak free though, and tries for a hip toss. It's blocked by Davin, and when Larson tries a second time it's blocked again. Davin reverses into a DEEP Arm Drag. Larson runs at Davin quickly and eats ANOTHER Deep Arm Drag! Davin strikes a Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat pose and gets a nice little pop from the crowd. Larson is not amused and looks for another lock up. However, it appears that Davin isn't done channeling “The Dragon” and he blasts Larson with a couple of vicious chops followed by a nasty Palm Strike to the throat. Larson staggers around holding said throat. Davin one-hops the turnbuckle and hits the Flying Cross-Body on Larson! Larson is BARELY able to kick out at 2. Davin pulls Larson up and looks to be trying for a Power bomb, but you CAN'T POWERBOMB LARSON, and he Tor-na-do DDTs his way out of it. This prompts a double count, and Larson is the first up at 5. Larson hits a Running 450 Splash on Davin's back, and immediately locks on the CATTLE MUTILATION! Larson bridges up, and Davin is in big-time trouble! Darling is about to break the hold up, but Glaw cuts him off before he can get there and forces him back to the corner! They're in the middle of the ring, and it's just a question as to if Larson can hold the bridge long enough.
A full minute has passed, but Davin isn't giving yet, although he HAS to be getting close, and Larson is showing no signs of letting up on the bridge. Finally, after another full minute, and when it looks like Davin can take no more of this, Davin's boots appear to dig into the mat. In a mind-blowing display of strength, Davin is able to get upright, with his arms underhooked and Larson completely vertical! The crowd has no choice but to applaud this and start Darling's favorite chant, which he responds properly to and flips the crowd off. Davin wiggles a little, and Larson's feet hit the mat. Davin hits an UNPRETTIER which was all sorts of awesome. Glaw's gonna count again, and both men crawl to their corners. Both tag their partners at 7 dramatically, and Darling and Nayr charge each other. Darling whiffs on a Running Clothesline, and Nayr tags him with a Dropkick to the back of the head. Darling staggers all the way to the corner, where Nayr jacks his jaw with a High Running Knee Lift. Nayr takes a couple of steps backward and tries for a Driver of A Thousand Truths! But Nayr can't bring Darling over, and Darling reverses into a monster Styles Clash! Darling covers...1...2...LARSON PUT NAYR'S foot on the rope! Glaw breaks the cover, and now DARLING is heated and gets right in Glaw's face. Nayr tries to sneak under Darling during the argument and attempts a Schoolboy Rollup, but Darling GOOZLES Nayr, and brings him up with one arm. He's going for the Darling Driver! He gets Nayr up and gets BLASTED with a Slingshot Dropkick from Larson, who escapes back to the outside. Davin is absolutely LIVID. I've seen him pissed before, but this is another animal entirely and it looks like he's going to bust a blood vessel at Glaw. Glaw has to point to his OOWF logo several times before Davin is chased back to his corner. Meanwhile Larson is slugging away at Darling while Nayr is in a heap outside the ring in his corner. There's no way Glaw saw any sort of tag, but he apparently allows it, pushing Davin even further.
Larson starts blasting Darling in the head with elbows, and it seriously looks like Glaw is going to stop the match until Davin starts to run in again. Glaw cuts him off and Larson has plenty of time to lock in another CATTLE MUTILATION! Darling stays in this for a little bit until he's able to quickly flip over, bridge out of it, and hit a BACKSLIDE on Larson. Larson just does barely slip out before 3, and Darling questions the length of the count. Darling tries to lock on the Darling Money Clip, but Larson shoves him off. Larson tries a Rolling Clothesline, but Darling is able to reverse into a Magistral Cradle! THAT gets a long 2, and this time Darling doesn't stop to argue. Springboard Moonsault from Darling connects and that should do it...1...2...NO! Larson proves to live up to his “Bulletproof” nickname and kicks out again. Darling pulls up Larson again, and tries for a German Suplex, but Larson slips out the back door and NAILS Darling with a LUNGBLOWER that looked just brutal. Double count again, and Larson is up first at 4, and looks to be crawling and then walking toward Nayr to tag out. Out of NOWHERE Davin comes FLYING across the ring and NAILS Larson with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! He goes after Nayr and Clotheslines him off the apron! Slingshot Elbow to the outside on Nayr, and then he is LAWN DARTED OUT INTO THE CROWD! Glaw is flipping out on Moreland outside the ring, and Davin tells Glaw that he's number one in his own special way. Davin retreats to his own corner as both Darling and Larson are down again. Glaw is-a-countin' and it gets to 5 before Darling is able to get his feet and tag in Davin, not so dramatically this time. Glaw recognizes the tag but he's clearly not happy and checks his watch. Larson on the other hand crawled to his own corner and looks to tag out, but Nayr has been LAWN DARTED and will be unable to appear presently. Davin talks Darling into standing and they both make the sign for the DDDC (DDP Diamond Sign followed by Benoit Throat Slash). Darling GOOZLES Larson and gets him on his shoulders. Davin runs the ropes...DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER! No one gets out of that! Davin covers, and Glaw counts....VERY slowly...1...........2.........thr...DING DING!!! The fuck?
YOUR DECISION in 20:00...Time Limit Draw!
Davin goes BALLISTIC on Glaw and to be fair, it was a really slow count at the end no matter who you were rooting for. Darling tries to get in on the argument, but Davin shoves him away and holds him back, because Darling looks like he's out for blood. Finally Darling begs off and looks like he's heading to the back, but Davin isn't anywhere NEAR done yet. Fingers are pointing in faces, and the conditions here are deteriorating quickly. Finally Davin says something and points to Glaw's OOWF logo, and GLAW SHOVES HIM! Glaw points even harder at his logo. Davin gets right in Glaw's face, threatening life and limb I'm sure, and GLAW SHOVES HIM AGAIN! Davin does the fake turn away thing, and NAILS GLAW WITH A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin smacktalks for a second before flipping Glaw and locking on the SHARPSHOOTER! The bell is doing the constant ringing thing, and that's when Darling turns around to see Davin with Glaw in the Sharpshooter. Darling flies back into the ring and is able to break up the hold, and leads his partner to the back as “Killing in the Name Of” plays again.
POE & KZ vs. STANK & THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDERThe crowd surges to its feet as “Alcohaulin Ass” blares through the arena. Stank, Outback Jack and Gatorbait step onto the stage, drink in the cheers, and storm down the aisle. They climb into the ring and acknowledge the crowd until “Misera Cantare” hits, and Poe, Moosehead Jack, and L.D. Williams enter the arena. Selena accompanies them onto the stage, but Poe sends her to the back before they head to the ring. Referee Davis Hightower looks concerned as the six men go toe-to-toe, but relaxes visibly when Stank and Poe send their partners to their corners and circle to start the match. Hightower calls for the bell and we're underway.
Poe and Stank lock up, and Stank forces Poe to a neutral corner. Hightower calls for, and surprisingly gets, a clean break. They lock up again and repeat the process, this time with Poe in control. Again, a clean break. A third lock up, and Poe grabs a headlock. Stank shoots him off and tries a clothesline, but Poe ducks. Poe rebounds off the far ropes and his clothesline connects. Poe grabs Stank in a front facelock and connects with several knees to the face, then takes him over with a suplex. He pulls Stank up and wrings the arm, then reaches out to tag Moose, who comes in with an elbow to the shoulder. Moose takes over the arm, wrings it again, and drives a kick into Stank's stomach, followed by an elbow to the back of his head. Moose grabs a front facelock, but before he can do anything Stank drives him back into the corner, knocking the wind out of him. Stank rocks him with a series of European uppercuts until Moose stops him with a thumb to the eye. Stank staggers back, and Moose kicks him in the face, then drops him with a neckbreaker. He covers, but Stank powers out at one. Moos moves back in as Stank gets up, but Stank catches him with a hard right to the jaw, sends him to the ropes, and plants him with a spinebuster. He reaches out and tags Outback Jack.
With a snarl, OBJ storms into the ring and starts stomping on Moose. He props him into a sitting position, then rebounds off the ropes into a diving clothesline that drives Moose's skull into the mat. OBJ lifts Moose into a vertical suplex and holds him there, glaring at Williams for almost a full minute before turning the move into a jackhammer on the way down. OBJ covers, but Williams breaks it up at two. As he does, Gator sprints across the ring and tackles him, sending both men through the ropes to the floor. OBJ drives Moose into the corner and attacks with punches, then sends him across the ring and follows with a clothesline. He drives his shoulder into Moose's stomach a number of times, then picks him up and plants him in the middle of the ring. He drives an elbow into his throat, and covers, getting a long two count.
Outside the ring, Gator slings Williams into the railing and runs at him, but Williams backdrops him into the crowd. Williams moves to follow, but Gator punches him in the face, then slams his face into the railing and drags him into the crowd. They slug it out, and Williams gains the advantage with a low kick, then grabs a chair and slams it into Gator's head. He tries for a DDT, but Gator blocks. Williams doubles Gator over with a knee to the stomach, then suplexes him onto a row of chairs. He reaches for Gator in the rubble, but gets a kick in the face for his trouble. Gator gets up with a chair in his hand and returns the shot to the head. Gator tries to whip him into the railing, but Williams reverses. Gator hits the steel and Williams attempts a spear, but gets only steel when Gator dodges. Williams staggers to his feet and Gator gets a running start, hitting a clothesline that takes both men over the railing and back to ringside.
As Gator crawls back to the D&D corner, OBJ drives Moose into the turnbuckles and tags Stank. OBJ holds Moose for a kick to the ribs from Stank. Poe tries to come in, but Hightower cuts him off, allowing D&D to hit a tandem suplex. Stank hits the ropes and lands on Moose with the Stankonia 2.0. He covers, but Moose just rolls a shoulder. Stank stomps on Moose, then hits the ropes, but Williams hooks his ankle, tripping him up. Stank gets to his feet and lunges at Williams, which is all the distraction Moose needs, and he spins Stank around and nails the Heart punch. Stank drops, and Moose staggers to his corner and tags Poe.
Poe catches Stank with a running knee as he gets up and hits a series of forearms and kicks. He sends Stank across the ring and hits a brutal spine buster. After a dropping a leg across the throat, he sits Stank up and drives his knee into his back a number of times. He locks on the Dragon Sleeper and Stank struggles, but can't get free. Hightower is in position to keep TTFDU from coming in, and Stank is trapped for a long time before he manages to turn a little in the hold. A number of elbows to the midsection break the hold, but Poe immediately hooks him and snaps off a DDT. He covers, but Stank rolls a shoulder just before the three. Poe lifts him for a body slam, but Stanks slips free and lands behind him, and hits a beautiful German suplex. He sends Poe to the ropes and buries a knee in his midsection, then goes to the ropes and hits a spinning neck breaker. He drags Poe to the D&D corner and tags Gator.
Gator hops onto the second turnbuckle as Stank hooks Poe and drives his face into his knee. Poe staggers back and Gator leaps, hitting a sunset flip. Hightower counts, but Williams breaks it up by dropkicking Gator in the face. Hightower shoos him out of the ring as Poe gets up. OBJ grabs his arms from behind and Gator lines up a kick to the head, but Poe dodges at the last second and Gator stops just short of leveling his partner. He turns around, and Poe hits a Yakuza kick of his own. He grabs Gator before he falls and sends him into the opposite corner, where Williams is waiting with a solid left hook. Poe comes over and makes the tag, and they send Gator to the ropes and plant him with a flapjack.
Williams pounces on Gator with lefts and rights, then pins him to the mat with a choke. Hightower counts four, and Williams lets go, only to resume the hold. Hightower pries him off and checks on Gator, but Williams comes right back with stomps and kicks. He drags Gator to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but Gator grabs the ropes to stop himself. Williams runs at him, but Gator drops down and pulls down the ropes. Williams goes over, but catches himself and lands on the apron. They exchange punches, and Williams staggers Gator, then slingshots himself over the ropes and into a Canadian Destroyer! He covers, but OBJ is in to break it up, which brings in Moose as well. Moose hits a clothesline that takes them both over the ropes to the floor as Williams crawls over to make another cover. This time Stank breaks it up. Williams gets to his feet and faces Stank, as Poe enters the ring. Gator suddenly rolls Williams up from behind and gets a very long two count. Stank reaches for Williams, but Poe spins him around and they start exchanging punches.
Gator and Williams get slowly to their feet. Williams takes a wild swing and Gator ducks, getting in some kicks to the kidneys before dropping him with a backstabber. Williams rolls to the ropes where Moose is outside the ring, and when he gets up he's holding a barbed wire bat. He turns around, just in time to see Gator catch a chair thrown by OBJ. Hightower steps between them and warns both men, but quickly bails when it's clear they aren't listening. Both Gator and Williams swing, and the bat echoes off the chair. The bell rings as Hightower throws up his hands and tosses the match.
WINNER - Double Disqualification in 20:23
After the match: Poe and Stank, still exchanging punches, tumble out of the ring and brawl at ringside. Moose and OBJ face off on the floor, while Gator and Williams do the same in the ring. Suddenly the crowd erupts, and Bryce Larson and Nayr sprint down the aisle. Bryce launches into a flying forearm that slams Moose backwards into the apron, while Nayr takes OBJ down with a dropkick. Gator risks a glance to the outside, and Williams jabs him with the bat and drops him with a DDT. Williams looks at the carnage on the floor, then slings himself over the ropes and drops onto OBJ and Nayr. As the five men brawl on the floor, Gator regains his feet. He hits the ropes on the far side and sprints across the ring, launching into a no-hands plancha that takes everyone down. The brawl continues as they get to their feet, and more chairs soon come into play. The ringside area is flooded by officials and security trying to separate the three teams.
OOWF Intercontinental Title Tournament – Round 1[/u]
THE DEAD vs. BLITZWe have our opening match for the OOWF Intercontinental title. Heroes Guild member Blitz makes his way to the ring first, sprinting down the ramp and sliding into the ring. Blitz plays to the crowd and gets a great reaction. OOWF loner, The Dead, is out next. He comes out to the top of the ramp, and gets a surprisingly loud response from the crowd. He grins a little and makes his way to the ring. The referee calls for the bell, and we are underway! The Dead charges at Blitz and catches him off guard, landing several stiff chops and backing him against the ropes. Dead whips Blitz across the ring and follows him, Blitz slides under the bottom rope and lands on his feet on the floor. The Dead, just a step or two behind Blitz, leaps over the top rope and grabs Blitz and hits a NECKBREAKER on the floor! Blitz writhes in agony, but The Dead is a bit worse for the wear as well. Both are slow to their feet, but both beat the count back into the ring. Dead pulls Blitz to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then catches him on the jaw with a spinning heel kick that sends Blitz staggering backward into the corner to the mat. The Dead gets a running start and charges into the corner and tries a drop kick to Blitz’s face, but Blitz falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring. The Dead crashes and burns into the corner and Blitz slingshots himself over the top rope and drops a knee right across The Dead’s chest. Blitz pulls Dead out of the corner and covers him, but Dead rolls his shoulder at two. Blitz pulls Dead to a sitting position and grabs him his arms and drives his knee between his shoulder blades. Dead fights to his feet but before he can free himself, Blitz reverses the move into a belly to back suplex then grabs the hold again and drives his knee between his shoulder blades for a moment, then rears back and connects with several stiff kicks to the back of Dead’s head. Blitz releases Dead and pulls him to his feet and grabs him for a suplex, then hooks the leg for a Fisherman suplex and hits the BLITZ ATTACK (corkscrew Fisherman brainbuster!) DEAD is, well, DEAD! Blitz covers, but Dead kicks out at two. Blitz looks shocked and heads to the corner and climbs to the ropes and hits a moonsault! Blitz covers again, and once again Dead kicks out at two. Blitz shows a little frustration and heads to the apron and waits for Dead to get to his feet. Dead struggles to his feet, and can barely stand. Blitz springs to the top rope, and leaps, trying for a flying clothesline, but Dead was playing possum! He POPS Blitz in mid-air with the CLOSE THE CASKET! Blitz’s head snaps back, he may have been out cold in mid-air. Dead covers, hooking the leg, and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 9:47 – The Dead
ZANE MYERS vs. TYTAN“The Fight Inside” blasts over the PA and Tytan, looking slightly confused and disheveled as he makes his way down the ramp, virtually ignoring his pyro as he makes his way into the ring. Clearly he's still having trouble adjusting to everything that's been going on the last few weeks. “What the Cat Dragged In” comes over the PA, and the Zaniacs go BATSHIT for Zane Myers as he makes his way down the ramp. Myers is trying to shake hands with everyone in the building so this looks like it's going to take a while. Referee Junior Hale will officiate this Intercontinental Title Tournament Quarterfinal Match. FINALLY Myers gets to the ring, and he does a 4-corner pose (we see Tytan mouthing “You've got to be fucking kidding me”) and the Zaniacs go, well, zany. Myers looks back finally to the ring and Creech, without moving, says “You about ready?” Myers nods and Hale calls for the bell...and WE'RE UNDERWAY!
At the bell, Myers charges across the ring at Tytan, stunning him with a clothesline. Myers hits the rope and hits a Hogan Leg drop and covers...that doesn't even get a 1 count. Myers goes to attack again, but Tytan simply grabs Myers' arms and crushes him with a head butt. Tytan follows up with some brawling punches, backing Myers into the corner. Tytan assaults Myers with some back elbows and some knees and some shoulder blocks. Myers is weakened, and Tytan puts him on the top turnbuckle. He's going for the Ultimo Ending already, but when he pulls Myers off, Myers reverses to a DDT, much to the delight of the Zaniacs. Hale starts the double count. Myers is up first at 6.
Myers walks over to Tytan and pulls him up, and then plants him with a Delayed Vertical Suplex. Myers covers again, and again, he doesn't even get a 1 count. Myers pulls Tytan up again and nails him with a German Suplex. Myers follows with an elbow drop and covers again. This time he gets an actual 1 count. Myers pulls up Tytan again, but before he can get a hold of him, Tytan hits a Belly-to-Belly Suplex on Myers. Myers gets up groggy, and Tytan hooks him in and plants him with a Slingshot Brainbuster. Tytan appears to have come back to us here on Earth apparently, and he starts stomping on Myers like he's Randy Orton. At one point he tries a cover, and it gets a quick two. The stomping resumes, and eventually Tytan grabs Myers' legs...he's going for Corporate Red Tape! And...he gets him turned over!
The Zaniacs are pleading for Myers to come back...and he looks like he's Zaning-Up! He's got the Power of the Shaky Arm, and bah gawd, he gets to the ropes, forcing Tytan to break the hold. The crowd goes apeshit. Tytan turns to press an attack on Myers, but Myers Shoulder blocks him, and then hits Tytan with a straight kick to the face; which wobbles Tytan slightly. Running High Knee Lift by Myers and Tytan is reeling, and leaning against the ropes to hold himself up. Myers poses for the Zaniacs, and he gets Tytan on his shoulders! He's got him in the TORTURE RACK! Myers is sporting the “Lex” look and it looks like Tytan is in big time trouble and is fading. But somehow, Tytan finds the Power of the Shaky Arm deep within him and comes to life, finally diving for the rope as Myers gets near one. Hale is late in breaking the hold and Myers is able to pull him away from the ropes! He's got him! This is going to be a HUGE upset! Suddenly, with one last surge on energy, Tytan is able to break his legs free and slips out the back door! LUNGBLOWER from Tytan sends Myers to the mat, and Hale is going to count again. At 8 both men are up again, and they start slugging it out with haymakers in the middle of the ring. Finally Tytan appears to get the best of it, and Myers ends up in the corner. Standing Dropkick by Tytan in a great show of agility! This splats Myers against the corner and he's woozy. Tytan sits him on the top turnbuckle and gets on the second turnbuckle himself. He's got Myers hooked! ULTIMO ENDING! This puppy's done.
WINNER in 14:26 by Pin fall and advancing to the Intercontinental Championship Tournament Semifinals...TYTAN!
THE AMNESIAC vs. CHRIS EVANSRuss: Well folks, that match was certainly something. But now we've got the Amnesiac facing "Cubheart" Chris Evans. Razz, your thoughts?
Razz: Well, the Amnesiac is definitely off-the-chain, but Chris Evans may be off-the-chain-y-er. I think this match will be very back and forth-ish.
Russ: Bah Gawd Razz, you really massacred the English language there.Razz puts Russ in the Razzmission as "I Can't Remember" by Alice in Chains blasts over the Springfield Dome Sound System. A few ironic shouts of "Go Isotopes!" are heard as the Amnesiac heads down to the ring. He starts to climb the ring stairs, pauses at the top because that looks cool, then enters the ring and poses for whatever fans will cheer for him. Next, "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden plays, and Chris Evans comes out to boos since he's trying to be part of an asshole heel faction. The Amnesiac stares at Evans as he comes down to the ring. Obviously, he hasn't forgotten Evans' mockery of him.
Russ: Evans really licked some serious DEA boot when he called the Amnesiac nowhere near as talented as Davin Moreland.
Razz: Well, he also talked a lot about his opponent should he beat the Amnesiac, Firewoman.
Russ: It's an old maxim in this business that one should keep focused on his current match, isn't it, Razz?
Razz: That's for sure. I mean, I can't think of any anecdotes from my in-ring years that support that saying, but it's true.
Russ: What about that time you-
Razz: No!Razz gives Russ a devastating Razzplex as referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell. Both men lock up, and the Amnesiac has the clear advantage as he uses his upper body strength to force Evans into the corner. Barros calls for the break, and the Amnesiac gives it. He turns his back as he walks away. Evans is furious as he walks out of the corner. Another lock-up and this time Evans gets the go-behind. He strains for the belly-to-back suplex but the Amnesiac has all the energy in the world to fight it off. Elbow to the head, and the Amnesiac spins around and decks Evans with a clothesline. The Amnesiac pulls up Evans and whips him to the ropes, on the rebound he goes for another clothesline but Evans ducks it and comes back with the Lionsault. However, he is caught by the Amnesiac, due to the latter's upper body strength. The Amnesiac spins Evans around and flips him overhead with a fallaway slam. The crowd cheers for this exchange, but the Amnesiac barely gets a one count with the pin fall.
The Amnesiac drops some clubbing hammer blows on Evans as he starts to get up. Evans drops to the mat and the Amnesiac goes for a huge jumping elbow drop which whiffs completely as Evans rolls out of the way. As the Amnesiac starts to sit up, Evans pastes him with the Olympic Strike! Now it's Evan's turn to try for the pin fall, and this one gets a two count.
Evans runs the ropes as the Amnesiac gets up, and attempts the Clothesline from Hades! But Amnesiac ducks the clothesline and catches Evans and complete shots him. He runs to the corner and climbs to the top rope. As a dazed Evans gets to his feet, the Amnesiac leaps off the top rope for a cross body attack. He transitions it into a pin fall and it gets a two count this time.
Evans is still dazed enough from the weight of the Amnesiac's upper body to allow the Amnesiac to whip him into the corner. He recovers enough to dodge a huge stinger splash attempt. As the Amnesiac stumbles back, Evans grabs him and nails him with the Regal-Plex. Evans bridges for yet another two count.
Evans looks frustrated, and one can tell that he wants this match to be over and done with. As the Amnesiac gets to his feet, Evans drops him with the Eye of the Storm. He makes the throat cutting gesture in a tribute to some obscure wrestler, then climbs to the top of a turnbuckle. He psyches himself up and attempts the Toronto Twister! But the Amnesiac just barely manages to roll out of the way of this awesomely named move. Both men are still down and Barros starts the ten count.
The Amnesiac is up at around seven or so. He hauls up Evans and starts to raise him for a DDT, but then seems to change his mind. He notes how Evans appears to be basically unconscious from the impact of his failed move. Evans is hauled to the nearest corner, and the Amnesiac hoists him onto the top rope. Yes, it looks like it'll be a top rope Pure Amnesia! But seeing how a missing a top rope move hurts, yeah, but it it'll never knock you out, Evans starts fighting off Amnesiac with head butts and punches. As the Amnesiac starts to fall backwards, Evans catches him and pulls him back onto the second rope. Evans lets the tension build for a second, then swings the Amnesiac around with a second rope Tornado DDT! That's it for the Amnesiac, as Evans makes the academic pin.
WINNER in 22:11 – Chris Evans
FIREWOMAN vs. SPIN HANSENHuge pyro pops and the arena is bathed in red lights, the entrance ramp becomes a wall of flame and The Cult’s "Firewoman” blares out as Firewoman steps through the fire and out onto the ramp. She walks down the ramp and slides into the ring.
The area goes dark and strobe lights starts up and “Exterminate, Annihilate, Destroy” by Rotersand blares out of the speakers…Spin Hanson charges out and down the ramp and into the ring…
He goes right at Firewoman hitting her with a right and left combo that backs her into the corner…Spin follows her back hitting her with a combo to her sides…she covers up and referee steps in to separate the two as Spin is being backed out of the corner Firewoman catches Spin with a thumb to the eye….she grabs Spin who is holding his face and Irish whips him into the far corner…Spin hits the corner hard chest first and as he bounces back Fire catches hit with a drop kick to his back..Spin goes down face first to the second turnbuckle and fire jumps on him giving him a modified bronco buster…all she needs now is her riding crop…
Fire struts around the ring and again charges at Spin who is struggling to his feet. Hanson sidesteps the charging Firewoman and hit hits the turnbuckle’s metal support shoulder first.
She grimaces in pain and Spin follows up by grabbing her hair and pulling her up. He throws her over his shoulder and steps into a shoulder breaker…down goes Fire…Spin for the pin. Fire out quickly in one. Spin grabs hold of Fire with an Orton like rest hold……………………………
Fire still fighting her way to a vertical base while in a side headlock, sliding out she counters with a wrist lock, slipping behind Spin she twist his arm up higher. Spin looking for options looks left, right, reaching overhead, below he finally catches Fire with an elbow to her head…she pushes Spin off releasing the hold and both opponents stand in the middle of the ring…Spin shaking his wrist, Fire still working her shoulder…
They tie up with a collar and elbow…Spin gains the advantage and whips Fire into the ropes, Spin attempts a clothesline but Fire ducks and bounces off the far ropes and catches Hanson with a hurricanrana. She reaches back and grabs Spins leg and goes for a pin…..1….2…and Hanson pushes Fire off…
Fire hits Spin with a double axe handle to the head and goes for the cover again…1….2….and again Hanson kicks out. Fire is up, Hanson is up, Fire charges Hanson and he catches her with an arm drag and hold on for a twisting arm bar. Spin hauls Fire up and maneuvers her into a front face lock. Spin lifts Fire up and delivers a Brain buster…Spin stands up and…..wait a minute…. D.H. Magnusson is making his way to the ring….now wait a damn minute. DH has no business down here. Somebody better call security. Spin sees his and begins jawing at his from inside the ring and DH is standing ringside yelling back. Fire is up and bounces off the far ropes and leaps over Spin and the ropes catching Hanson with a guillotine on the ropes as she lands on her feet outside the ring. Hanson staggers back holding his throat. Fire quickly climbs the turnbuckle and dives off the top rope to deliver a frog splash but BAMM. But Hanson uses her momentum and rolls over for the pin…1…..2….3…Spin Hanson gets the win!
WINNER in 15:55 – Spin Hansen
Hanson is up and meets DH as DH is entering the ring. Spin catches DH as he is stepping through the ropes and delivers a hanging DDT that has DH’s legs on the second ropes. Spin turns and BAMM catches a chair to the face from Firewoman. Hanson goes down like fat girl at a Motley Crue concert. Fire stands over him chair in her hand shaking uncontrollable. DH grabs her and she flexes with the chair…DH puts his hands up as to say easy…easy…Fire throws the chair down on top of Spin and DH and Fire slip out of the ring and up the ramp…
MATTE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchThim Reynolds is announced first and makes his way to the ring, no real fan fare, he doesn’t acknowledge the crowd, he is completely focused on the match. Thim rolls under the bottom rope and heads to the corner and waits, glaring at the ramp the whole time, waiting for Matte to make his way to the ring. The OOWF Onslaught Champion Matte is announced as “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” plays. He comes to the ring, looking lost as always, dragging the title behind him. Matte dumps the title off at announce table and slides into the ring and slumps in the corner. The referee calls for the bell and this one is underway. Thim walks to the middle of the ring, but does not charge into the corner. He stands there with his arms folded and waits for Matte to come out of the corner. Matte doesn’t move either though, so we have a stalemate ten seconds into the match. Finally Matte slowly gets to his feet and walks to the middle of the ring and goes nose to nose with Thim. Without saying a word, Thim catches Matte with a knee to the gut, then a knee lift, then grabs his head and snapmares him to the mat, and lands a stiff kick to the back of his head, then runs the rope and connects with a falling clothesline to the back of Matte’s head that folds him in half and slams his forehead off the mat. Thim slams him back and covers, but Matte kicks out at two. Thim pulls him to his feet and connects with several kicks to the ribs, then traps Matte in an abdominal stretch. Matte grunts in pain as Thim digs his elbow into Matte’s separated ribs. Finally, Matte fights out of it and hip tosses Thim to the mat, then catches him with a drop toe hold as Thim gets back to his feet. Matte rebounds off the ropes and connects with a drop kick to Thim’s face that sends him under the ropes to the floor. Matte gets a running start and leaps over the top rope and crashes into Thim as he gets to his feet. Thim’s back slams against the guard rail, but Matte doesn’t escape unscathed either, he smacks his shoulder and the back of his head on the guard rail. Both men remain on the floor while the referee starts the ten count. Thim is up first, at seven, and pulls Matte up and rolls him under the bottom rope into the ring. As Thim steps between the ropes, Matte shocks him and grabs a small package for a two count. Thim quickly spins out of that and catches Matte with a stiff kick to the side of the head that sends him to the mat. Thim bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across his chest and covers, but Matte kicks out at two. Thim pulls Matte up and hooks the arm, and twists his neck, trying to separate Matte’s shoulder. Matte grunts in pain, but will not quit. He slowly works his way to his feet and nails Thim with several elbows to the mid-section, then hits the ropes and ducks a clothesline and rebounds with a clothesline of his own that staggers Thim. Matte scoops him up and plants him on the mat, then drops a leg across his chest. Matte decides to go high risk and tries a senton splash but Thim gets his knees up! Matte writhes in pain and slowly gets to his feet, Thim grabs him from behind in the TAZZMISSION! Thim pulls him to the mat, but they are close enough to the ropes that Matte is able to force a break. That’s his first. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and scoops him up, but Matte slips off his shoulder and hits a side-Russian leg sweep and covers, but Thim rolls his shoulder at two. Matte gets to his feet and waits for Thim to get up, kicks him low, and grabs him for a DDT, but Thim powers Matte back into the corner. Thim connects with several shoulders to the gut, then takes a few steps back and tries another, but Matte side steps and Thim nails the post! Matte pulls Thim up in the corner and blisters him with several chops, then sets him on the top rope and climbs up for a superplex! Matte hooks him, but Thim fights out of it with elbows and punches to the ribs. Finally he slips free and grabs Matte by the throat and TRAPS HIM IN THE TAZZMISSION ON THE TOP ROPE! Thim falls to the mat, pulling Matte with him, and locks the hold in complete with the body scissors! Matte struggles, but he cannot make the ropes! After several agonizing seconds, Matte fades and the referee calls for the bell!
WINNER in 13:29 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Thim Reynolds
After the match, Thim releases the hold and holds the title in the air. Seamus McNasty slides into the ring and spears Thim to the mat and the two of them start brawling. Officials flood the ring and separate the two. They have to do it several times since one or the other keeps breaking free. Finally things seem to have calmed down and they get Seamus out of the ring. The whole time, Matte is standing in a corner watching the events unfold. He spots the Onslaught Championship and grabs it and heads to Thim’s corner and starts to hand it to him, then BLASTS him in the face with it! Thim falls to one knee, stunned, Matte stares at him for a moment, then leaves the ring and heads to the back.
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