OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, Alabama
TYTAN vs. BlitzBlitz makes his way to the ring first and does his usual pre-match slide under the ropes and pose on the turnbuckle. He leaps off the ropes and runs around the ring waiting for his opponent to make his way to the ring. Tytan is announced and he slowly makes his way to the ring, never taking his eyes off of Blitz. As Tytan gets near the ring, blitz bounds off the ropes and dives over the top rope at Tytan. Blitz takes Tytan to the floor and immediately springs to his feet and climbs to the apron and waits for a beyond pissed off Tytan to get to his feet. As he does, Blitz leaps and tries to snap off a hurracanrana, but Tytan catches him, turns, and POWERBOMBS him through the Guatemalan Announce Table! Tytan stands over Blitz and stares down at him, the match has not officially started yet, so he cannot be disqualified. Tytan has a cold, blank stare on his face as he grabs a television monitor from the table and looks at it. Blitz gets to his feet and Tytan turns and lunges at him, SLAMMING the monitor against Blitz’s head! Blitz falls to the floor in a heap and Tytan tosses the monitor aside. Tytan pulls Blitz from the wreckage of the table and throws him into the stairs. The referee is urging Tytan to get into the ring so the match can officially start, but Tytan just turns and gives him a cold stare. Tytan moves in on Blitz, Blitz fires off a couple of shots to the gut, but Tytan cuts him off with a kick to the face. Tytan grabs Blitz and pulls him up, lifts him in a military press and drops him throat first onto the guard rail. Blitz’s head snaps back and he staggers and falls into the wreckage of the table. Tytan looks completely disconnected right about now, he does not care one bit what he does to Blitz. As Tytan reaches done for Blitz in the wreckage, Blitz SLAMS him on the head with the chair. Tytan grabs his head and staggers away, and Blitz gets to his feet and cracks the chair across his back. Blitz waits for Tytan to turn around then gets a running start at him for another chair shot, but Tytan swings and punches the chair back into Blitz’s face! Blitz falls to the floor again, and Tytan pulls him up and lifts him into the air and hits the STEINER SCEWDRIVER ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR! The referee yells for Tytan to end the match, but Tytan just looks at him almost as if he does not comprehend what he is saying. But he does. Tytan looks down at Blitz, who is barely conscious and grins. Tytan walks over to the wreckage of the table and grabs another chair, and puts it around Blitz’s neck, and then slowly climbs onto the apron. The referee tries to stop him, but Tytan throws an elbow at him that sends him across the ring. That’ll be a fine right there. Tytan looks down at Blitz and is about to leap, Pillmanizing his neck, when Bryce Larson, Nayr and Concrete TG rush to ringside with chairs of their own. Tytan stares at them, and seems to contemplate attacking, but then drops off the apron and just heads to the back while they tend to their fallen stable mate.
WINNER – No Match
FIREWOMAN vs. MATTE vs. CONCRETE TGThe lights go out and the first notes of “With Jupiter in Mind" by Joe Satriani blare from the sound system. Crowd excitement builds until charging out of the curtain comes Concrete Tataken-Gryfon, Crete hits his familiar double bicep pose and pop goes the pyro…with that he is down the ramp and hi-fiving the fans, he runs up the stairs and up the turnbuckle to work the crowd.
“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” by Nirvana starts up and out walks Matte, very focused on Crete. He walks down the ramp and slides in under the ropes and meets Crete in the center of the ring. Both men do the necessary stare down and Matte offers his hand to Crete...Crete looks to the crowd and shakes his head noooooo...Matte offers it again with more flourish and Crete once again looks around for the crowds help…after a few seconds he extends his hand but as he does Matte lifts his hand up and through his hair in the age old school kid gesture of gotcha…and walks to the other corner. Crete is furious and is being held back by the referee.
Huge pyro pops and the arena is bathed in red lights, the entrance ramp becomes a wall of flame and The Cult’s "Firewoman” blares out as Firewoman steps through the fire and out onto the ramp. She walks down the ramp looking like she would rather be anywhere else but here…with a vacant Kelly Kelly look in her eyes…she walks up the steps and ducks under the ropes…
The ref calls for the bell and off we go…Crete goes right after Matte. Grabbing him and muscling him into the corner, where he quickly hits Matte with kick to the mid section…Fire walks over and pushes Crete out of the way and hits Matte with her own kick to the gut…Crete not to be out done grabs Fire and slings her out of the ring then delivers another kick to the mid-section. Crete grabs Matte and tossing him to the far corner. Crete then prepares to follow Matte in with a Stinger splash but as he is charging across the ring Fire does a sling shot drop kick from outside the ring. She quickly covers Crete for an easy one count…
Fire is up and grabs Crete Leg before he can maneuver himself up. She quickly begins a spinning toe hold…once, twice…on the third spin around she is caught by Matte with a clothesline that slams her does but also twist Crete foot at the same time…Crete howls in pain and grabs his foot…Matte follows up on Fire with an elbow drop that nails her right in the sternum. Matte covers for the pin 1….2…and Fire pushes out…Matte grabs her as she sits up and puts her in a reverse chin lock…Really twisting on her neck…Crete is back up and slips in behind Matte to apply his own chin lock…huh you don’t see that very often double chin locks…
Matte releases his hold on Fire and stands up fully lifting Crete up and walking backward with Crete on his back…Matte makes his way to the turnbuckle and slams Crete into the turnbuckle…Crete releases the hold but Matte swings back once more to squeeze Crete into the corner…Fire is up and running from the far turnbuckle she does a handstand and attempts hew own reverse splash on both of her opponents, but Matte sees her coming and moves out of the way as she hits Crete hard in the corner…momentum carries her forward out of the corner and Matte meets her off a the ropes with a bulldog…he covers Fire…1….2…and Crete nails Matte in the side of his head with a big boat that breaks up the count and maybe his jaw…Matte rolls out of the ring and Crete picks up Firewoman…
Crete sends her to the ropes and sets for a backdrop but he sets to early and Fire jumps over him, hooking his arms and rolling him up for the pin…1….2….and Crete kicks out, Fire is up, Crete is up, Crete goes for a right but Fire ducks and goes behind Crete…Fire with the backside…1….2….2 ½ and Matte kicks Fire in the gut to break up the count…Fire almost had this one…Matte picks Fire up and catches her with a swinging neck-breaker that plants Fire in the middle of the ring. Matte for the cover..1…2…and Crete grabs his leg and lifts him off to save the pin…Crete attempts a figure four but Matte counters with a small package…1…2…3…with a handful of tights Matte steals another one…
WINNER in 18:52 Matte
Matte slides under the ropes and up the ramp…Fire sits up, sighs and slide out of the ring…Crete has the ref cornered in the ring grabbing at his tights and trying to explain to the ref that Matte cheated…The ref shrugs his shoulders and points to his eyes with his fingers giving Crete the universal sign for I have to see it before I can call it sign leaving Crete in the ring…Crete kicks the bottom ropes, waves to the crowds and makes his way through the ropes and back up the ramp…
RUN DEA vs. STANK & SPIN HANSEN"Killing in the Name Of" fires up, ushering Run-DEA to the ring amidst of shower of provided pyro provided by the OOWF and trash, provided by the arena full of booing wrestling fans. Moreland and Darling slide into the ring, and the booing instantly changes to frenzied cheering as "Alcohaulin' Ass" signals the appreance of Drink and Destroy! Hansen and Stank take there time getting to the ring, playing up to their fans and making Run DEA wait it out a bit longer than they'd care to. The two finally slip into the ring and after another moment of the two playing to the crowd, Mel Creech calls for the bell, meaning we're UNDERWAY~!
Stank and Moreland to start things off, and the two circle each other for a moment before Davin sticks out a hand. Stank looks at it, looks to the crowd, and against the fans judgement offers his. Nice clean sportsmanlike handshake that seems to confuse the crowd for a moment before the lock up.
Both men struggle for position from the collar and elbow, neither giving and inch in the center of the ring. after a few moments they break, looking at each other before going back in. Same result, as neither man will surrender a bit of leverage to the other. The two rear back for a third, but Moreland feigns the collar and elbow, pulling Stank in with a side headlock. Quick shoot into the ropes, Moreland comes back with a shouldertackle, but Stank doesn't budge! Stank motions for him to try again and Davin obliges, and again Stank doesn't move. This time Moreland makes the offer and Stank shoots the ropes, launching himself into Davin...but Davin stands his ground. The two look at each other, and BOTH shoot off the ropes! Armdrag by Stank! Moreland lands hard and quickly scoots into the corner, staring at Stank with a look of shock!
"You can do an ARMDRAG?!"
Stank nods.
Moreland looks to Hansen, who registers his own suprise before sliding of to tag Darling as Stank tags in his stablemate, Spin Hansen.
Hansen and Darling cirlce each other, and this time is Darling offering the handshake. Spin takes it, but gets a thumb to eye for his troubles, followed by a quick knee to the midsection by Darling. Facebreaker by Darling to follow up has Hansen reeling, and a stnding shining wizard sends him crashing to the mat! Darling quick to cover:
1...
2..
Barely two as Hansen powers out, covering up as Darling puts the boots to him. Darling draws Hansen to his feet and plasters him with a stiff European uppercut that drives Hansen into the Run-Dea corner. Quick tag to Moreland who measures out a straight right to the midesection of Hansen, followed by a barrage of knees and elbows that leave his opponent in a heap on the mat. Creech moves in to back Moreland up and as he does Darling slips of the apron, choking the life out of the downed Hansen! Stank starts in, but he's cut off by Creech at Moreland's direction, giving Davin and Darling ample time to double team Spin. Creech turns around in ime to see Moreland gutwrenching Hansen back the center of the ring, diving in for a cover.
1...
2...
No! Spin rolls the shoulder at 2.999.
Quick tag to Darling and Run DEA use the five count to deliver a couple of stereo elbows in quick succession. Quick pick up by Darling as Moreland exits, Hansen shot into the ropes, leaping leg lariat by Darling connects, and Darling kips up...Somersault gulliotine legdrop! Darling signals that it's over, and loads Hansen up BRAINBUSTAH....Countered! Hansen slips over the top of the pick up catching Darling with a THUNDERING standing spinebuster as he turns around! Darling's head bounces off the mat as Hansen collapses himself, as the race is on...
Darling makes the tag to Moreland, but it's not in time to stop Spin from making the HOT TAG to a fired up Stank! Stank comes in a house of FIRE~! Running clothesline drops Moreland, and another as he gets to his feet. Darling tries to interfere, but eats a running forearm for his effort! Moreland back to his feet, STANDING POWERSLAM by Stank! Leg hooked:
1...
2...
Diving elbow by Darling breaks up the pin and brings Hansen back in, but only for a moment as he tackles Darling and sends himself and Darling over the top rope!
It's breaking down now, as Moreland and Stank go toe to toe in the ring exchanging blows, and Darling saves his own life on the outside, ducking away from the front kick against the post from Hansen. Moreland whips Stank hard into the turnbuckle, charging with a leaping back elbow, and going for a second whip...reversal by Stank leads to an AVALANCHE~! Stank with the pickup into the fireman's carry, here's comes the STANK-U...
No! Moreland grabs the ropes, hanging on long enough for Darling to grab Davin's boot, yanking him down. REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE! Davin hooks the leg with a handful of tights as Darling gets SPEARED out his boots by Hansen...
1...
2...
3!
WINNERS via PINFALL in 12:54 - RUN-DEA
KZ vs. THE HEROES GUILDThe arena lights dim and the crowd rises to its feet as “The Bridge of Khazad-Dum” plays. Suddenly the Heroes Guild – Bulletproof Bryce Larson and Nayr the Halfling Luchadore – burst through the curtain and sprint down the aisle. They slide into the ring and vault onto the turnbuckles, basking in the crowd's adoration. The cheers die, however, as the opening notes of “Scarecrow” play. L.D. Williams and Moosehead Jack step onto the stage and stare daggers at the heroes as they tape their fists and walk down the aisle. kz slide into the ring, and the heroes leap off the turnbuckles and drop them with stereo dropkicks. Both Heroes roll to their feet and grab kz in headlocks. Williams breaks free from Larson with a belly-to-back suplex, while Moose shoots Nayr into the ropes. Referee Angelo Barros steps between Williams and Larson and sends them to their corners and calls for the bell.
Nayr rebounds off the ropes and ducks a clothesline, then comes back with a flying forearm. He rolls right to his feet and goes to the ropes, catching Moose with a leg lariat as he gets up. He goes to the ropes again, but this time Moose sidesteps and plants him with a spinning side slam. Moose picks Nayr up with a two-handed choke and drives him back into the turnbuckles. He hits Nayr with chops hard enough to lift him off the mat, then sends him across the ring and follows him with a brutal clothesline. Nayr stumbles out of the corner and Moose kicks him in the stomach, then lifts him for a power bomb into the turnbuckles. Nayr shifts his weight, causing Moose to turn, then drops back over the ropes, hitting a hurricanrana that takes Moose out to the floor. Moose is up first and reaches for Nayr, but Larson runs along the apron and leaps, bulldogging Moose into the floor. Williams drops off the apron and circles the ring. He grabs Larson and slams a head butt into the back off his skull, then drops him with an inverted DDT. Barros is on the floor by this point as well, and he sends Williams back to his corner as Nayr drags Moose to his feet and shoves him into the ring.
Nayr rolls Moose to the middle of the ring and comes off the middle rope with a moonsault. He hooks the leg, but Moose kicks out at two. Nayr rolls to his corner, but Larson is still dazed on the floor. Nayr turns around, and Moose slams an elbow into his face. Moose hits a few punches, then sends Nayr across the ring. Williams hooks him from behind in a choke, and Moose spears him and makes the tag.
Williams comes in and snags Nayr in a half Nelson. Moose winds up and hits the Heart punch, and Williams takes Nayr over with a suplex. He bridges, and Barros counts One...Two...Thr – Larson breaks the pin with a flying leg drop! Moose tries to come in, but Barros cuts him off as Larson rolls out of the ring and goes to the Heroes' corner. Nayr crawls over to make the tag, but Williams grabs his ankle and drags him back. Nayr breaks free with an enzugiri and dives for the corner, but again, Williams cuts him off. He ties up Nayr's leg and cinches in the STF. Nayr struggles, but can't break free or reach the ropes. Larson is going ballistic on the apron, but his encouragement isn't enough to help Nayr. He tries to get in to help, but Barros cuts him off. Williams yells at Barros to look at Nayr, who's about to tap, and Larson takes advantage and hits a springboard dropkick to the face to break the hold. Barros sees the whole thing and chases Larson out of the ring, allowing Moose to come in and grab Nayr. Williams gets to his feet and kz lifts Nayr for a tandem suplex, then drive him face first into the mat! They scrape Nayr up and send him to the ropes, and hoist him for a flapjack, but Nayr manages to spring off of them and drop them both with a split-legged dropkick! Nayr turns his landing into a backward somersault and falls back into the Heroes' corner, tagging in his partner.
Larson vaults over the ropes and sprints across the ring, hitting Williams with a clothesline as he gets up. He hits the opposite ropes and comes back with a clothesline for Moose. Williams eats a dropkick, then Moose does the same. Larson sends Williams to the ropes and goes to the ropes himself, but Moose hits him with a fist to the stomach and holds him with a waist lock, and Williams hits him with the Canadian Destroyer. Moose rolls out of the ring and Williams makes the cover. Barros counts, but Nayr dives into the ring to break it up. Barros ushers him out, and Williams tosses Larson into the kz corner with an overhead release suplex. He makes the tag, and kz brutalizes Larson in the corner with punches and kicks until Barros forces Williams out of the ring.
Moose plants Larson with a body slam, than rolls him over and locks on the Jiendo, placing Barros between them and the Heroes' corner. Larson struggles and finally manages to reach the ropes, but it takes a lot out of him. Moose releases the hold and drives a knee into the back of Larson's neck. He drags Larson to the middle of the ring and makes a cover, but Larson kicks out at two. Moose sends Larson to the ropes, whiffs on a clothesline, but catches him with an elbow on the return trip. Larson staggers, and Moose plants him with a DDT. He foregoes the cover and drags him to the corner, where Williams slaps him on the back to tag himself in. Moose lifts Larson for a wheelbarrow suplex and Williams starts the springboard, but Nayr sprints across the ring, leapfrogs over Moose and his partner, and catches Williams in mid-air with a not-so-bad Diamond Cutter. Larson takes advantage and reverses Moose's suplex into a roll up, and Barros counts the three.
WINNERS, in 15:27, The Heroes Guild
After the match: Larson and Nayr slide out of the ring and celebrate as they back up the aisle, leaving kz in the ring, staring at them in shock.
COWBOY UP & BEER BARON vs. IHOP – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title MatchIHOP, accompanied by The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooh, Fezzik, Monkh and Jeffrey From Las Vegas (who appears to be drunk) make their way to the ring. SYB looks to be in an especially foul mood. The OOWF Campeonas de Trios champions Cowboy Up and Beer Baron are announced and they make their way to the ring. As they step between the ropes, SYB produces a mic, AGAIN, and who knows from where. Before he can say another word though, The Amnesiac and Skurge take the mic from him and toss it out of the ring. They argue among themselves for a moment, then turns and charge across the ring and attack the champs.
The Amnesiac and SYB attack Zane Myers and Chad Madison and send them to the mat with rights and lefts. SYB tackles Beer Baron and the two of them tumble out of the ring to the floor, where SYB continues to hammer away. Inside the ring, Skurge whips Madison to the ropes and falls to the mat, as Madison steps over The Amnesiac, Skurge catches him with a drop kick to the jaw that sends him out of the ring. Zane Myers has regained his composure and grabs The Amnesiac from behind as he gets to his feet and PLANTS him with a scorpion death drop. Skurge pops up and he and Myers go at one another while the Amnesiac and Chad Madison powder out of the ring.
On the outside, Baron pulls SYB to his feet and shoves him against the guard rail, he charges, but SYB back drops him into the crowd! The crowd catches Beer and they bodysurf him around and set him gently down on the floor at ringside. SYB stares, hate in his eyes. Baron high fives a couple of fans, and SYB charges at him, but Baron sees him coming and backdrops him. As SYB is heading toward the crowd, instead of catching him, the crowd parts and SYB slams onto the concrete floor. He grabs his back in pain and curses the fans, the fans parents, and all of the fans family pets.
Back inside the ring, Myers has Skurge on the mat and is working the arm trying to trap Skurge in a fujiwara arm bar, but Skurge fights it and manages to work to one knee, keeping the bigger Myers on the mat. Skurge gets to his feet and has Myers shoulders down and gets a quick two count before Myers rolls his shoulder. Skurge slowly pulls his arm free, and before Myers can do anything, he connects with a stop to the face. Skurge grabs Myers arm and pulls him to the corner and tags in The Amnesiac, TA climbs to the top rope and hits a falling head but and covers, but Madison charges into the ring and breaks it up before the ref counts two.
On the outside, Beer Baron pulls SYB back over the guard rail and hammer him with rights and lefts to the side of the head. Inside the ring, The Amnesiac pulls Myers to his feet and hits a savate kick to the back of the head that staggers the big man. The Amnesiac takes a few steps back and waits for Myers to get to his feet. At the same time, Beer rolls SYB hack into the ring and hops up onto the apron. SYB gets to his feet, and shouts an obscenity at Beer, then turns his attention to what is going on in the ring……just as The Amnesiac throws a super kick at Myers jaw! The move catches SYB flush on the nose (a pretty easy target to hit) and he falls to the mat, bloody and barely conscious.
The Amnesiac stares for a moment, shocked at what has just happened. SYB walked right into the move! Myers takes advantage of the situation by blindsiding The Amnesiac with a devastating clothesline from hell, then drags TA over to their corner and makes the tag to Chad Madison. Zane scoops The Amnesiac up and drops him across his knee, and Madison climbs to the top rope and leaps, dropping a leg right across The Amnesiac’s chest! Madison covers, and Myers and Beer keep Skurge at bay, and the referee counts one, two, three!
WINNERS in 10:41 – Cowboy Up & Beer Baron
THIM REYNOLDS vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchAs both men make their way to the ring, Russ & Razz run down the rules for the OOWF Onslaught Championship Match.
Russ: Razz, this is it. The Onslaught Title is on the line as Thim Reynolds defends against Seamus McNasty.
Razz: You’ve got that right, Russ. The Onslaught Championship features the most unique rules of the entire OOWF. Remember, the wrestlers get three warnings for an illegal move—
Russ: Such as hair pulling, eye poking, using a closed fist or hitting a low blow—
Razz: And if those three warnings are used, you get disqualified.
Russ: Exactly, Razz! Plus, the wrestlers only get three rope breaks—
Razz: After that, you can’t use the ropes to break, and the ropes are in play to be used against you.
Russ: And if the champ is intentionally counted out or gets disqualified, the title changes hands.
Razz: But that’s enough from us for now, Russ. Everyone’s in the ring, ready to go. Let’s do this!Seamus & Thim lock-up, and both men jockey for a position advantage. Neither gives an inch, and they break in the middle of the ring! They lock-up a second time, but remain at a stalemate when they break in the center of the ring. There’s a third lock-up, and Seamus pushes Thim into the corner, and Barros forces a break! He counts…1…2…3…4…and Seamus breaks. Barros then says something to the ring announcer.
RA: Thim Reynolds has been charged with his first rope break!
Reynolds is livid, and Seamus looks surprised as well. Barros informs the champ that he used the rope to break out of the lock-up. We kick it to replay, and it shows that Reynolds, when backed into the corner, did wrap his right arm around the top rope. While likely unintentional, it does force a Seamus off, and is charged as a rope break. Seamus is amused at this, and Thim takes exception to his amusement by punching him in the face! Barros signals to the ring announcer once again…
RA: Thim Reynolds has been issued his first warning for a closed fist punch!
Upon hearing this, Reynolds starts to yell at the ring announcer until Barros reminds him of what he already knows, that a closed fist will cost you a warning. Reynolds, still frustrated, pushes Barros away and tackles Seamus down, throwing repeated rights to his face. Barros pulls him off, and informs him that he just lost his last two warnings.
RA: Thim Reynolds has been issued his second warning for pushing the referee, and has been issued his third warning for using closed fist punches. One more illegal maneuver and Reynolds will be disqualified, and will lose the Onslaught Championship!
Russ: Five minutes into the match, and Reynolds is already out of warnings!
Razz: I can’t believe it Russ, I cannot believe it!Reynolds is completely beside himself at this point, and Seamus takes the opportunity to school boy Seamus…1…2…NO! Seamus is nearly pinned 5 minutes in! Both men are up, and Seamus takes Reynolds over with a Regal plex…1…2…NO! Reynolds kicks out, and Seamus immediately charges. Thim is ready this time, catching Seamus with a small package…1…2…NO! Seamus rolls through…1…2…NO! This time it’s Thim who rolls through and has Seamus pinned…1…2…NO! Both men are near the ropes, and Seamus grabs the bottom rope, preventing the loss.
RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his first rope break!
Reynolds, still upset by what happened earlier, starts to yell at Seamus, and Seamus spits in his face! Reynolds rears back to punch Seamus, but looks at Barros and changes his mind. Instead he slaps Seamus right in the face! Seamus is pissed, but Barros motions that it’s an open handed slap, and it’s legal. So Seamus grabs Thim’s arm and goes behind for a hammerlock. Thim reverses out, and give Seamus repeated right & left handed slaps right to the face! Seamus pushed Thim away and levels him with a big right to the chin! Seamus drops in a heap, but Barros yells at Seamus for using a closed fist!
RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his first warning for an illegal closed fist punch!
Seamus looks at Barros, smiles, and this time HE tackles Thim and punches him in the face repeatedly until Barros pulls him off. Barros signals to the ring announcer once more.
RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his second warning for the illegal closed fist punches!
Barros turns back around to see that Seamus is sitting Thim up on the second turnbuckle, with his legs spread over both ropes. Seamus revs up in the opposite corner when Barros realizes what’s about to happen. Barros yells “NOOOOOO!” as Seamus runs across the ring and kicks Thim square in the nuts…Shattered Dreams! Barros looks at the ring announcer, who already knows what to do.
RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his third and final warning for an illegal low blow. One more illegal move and Seamus will be disqualified!
Barros yells at Seamus, who simply laughs at Thim, who groans in pain on the mat. Seamus grabs Thim and locks in an abdominal stretch, pulling on the free leg for extra leverage. Thim gets that leg out from Seamus’s grasp, and tries to turn free from the move. Seamus stays with him, turning towards the ropes. As the referee asks Thim if he wants to submit, Seamus hooks the rope with his ankle for extra added leverage. Barros turns around and catches Seamus, and looks to call for the bell! Seamus stops him (still holding the abdominal stretch), and Barros explains that he’s out of warnings. Seamus claims he thought Thim was out of rope breaks, and Barros explains he’s only used one. During the confusion, Thim hip tosses Seamus over, putting the challenger on his back! Thim reaches down, but Seamus kicks him right in the face! Thim is groggy on his feet, so Seamus gets up and kicks him in the face a second time! As Thim is about to fall, Seamus locks in the abdominal stretch once again. Thim tries to get out, but Seamus locks it in tighter as Barros is seemingly going to let Seamus’s “miscalculation” go, as the match continues.
Thim continually tries to get out, turning and getting closer to the ropes, finally grabbing the top rope. Barros calls for the break, then signals for the ring announcer.
RA: Thim Reynolds has been charged with his second rope break!
Thim puts one leg over the middle rope, further forcing the break, so Seamus simply kicks him in the hamstring, with Thim dropping down, inadvertently crotching himself on the middle rope. Seamus grabs the leg as Thim gets to his feet, and Seamus drags him to the center of the ring, repeatedly kicking his hamstring. Seamus then locks in a half-crab, continually tweaking the already that hurt hamstring. Thim refuses to quit, but Barros continues to ask. Thim is crawling towards the ropes, but stops, considering if he should use that last rope break. Seamus is yelling for Thim to grab the rope, at one point looking to Barros to see if Thim grabbed the rope. As Barros shakes his head “No,” Thim grabs Seamus’s ankle, pulling him down, face first to the mat.
Russ: I think Seamus’s nose just smacked the canvas!
Razz: He might have a broken nose Russ, his nose might be broken!As Seamus grabs his nose, Thim grabs a hold of the foot, and suddenly has Seamus trapped in The Reflex-O-Lock! Seamus feels the pain, but then the look on his face changes! Thim smiles, as he realizes the true impact of the Reflex-O-Lock is taking effect. Seamus drags both men over, and grabs the bottom rope to break.
RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his second rope break!
Seamus immediately stands up, and calls for a time out. Barros reminds Seamus that there are no timeouts in wrestling, and Seamus informs Barros that he has to use the bathroom! Thim laughs, knowing that the Reflex-O-Lock has worked. Seamus lunges towards Thim, but stops and grabs himself to prevent and leakage. Thim then gets a maniacal look on his face, and locks in a testicular claw! Seamus immediately grabs the ropes, and Barros calls for the break.
RA: Seamus McNasty has used his third and final rope break. He can no longer use the reps to break a hold, and the ropes are in play against him.
While Barros is telling the ring announcer about the final rope break, Seamus kicks Thim in the balls! “The only man who touches my McNasty McNuggets is me! And my doctor!” Thim doubles over as Barros turns back around. Barros pretty much knows what happened, but he didn’t see it, so he can’t call it. Seamus brings Thim to the corner, and sets him up for The Centric Cross.
Seamus makes it to the second rope, and lifts Thim up onto his shoulders. Before he can lean forward, Thim kicks him with the flat of his foot in the small of the back, sliding over and landing on his feet. Seamus’s momentum takes him over into a sunset flip on Thim. But Thim grabs Seamus’s ankles, leaning forward and grabs the ropes!
Russ: Seamus is out of rope breaks, Thim can use the ropes for leverage!Barros drops down for the count, not worrying about Thim in the ropes! 1…2…3! Thim Reynolds retains the Onslaught Championship!
WINNER in 26:17 and STILL OOWF Onslaught Champion – Thim Reynolds!
Seamus argues with the Barros, who tells to him that he was out of rope breaks, thus Thim using the ropes was 100% legal. Seamus looks to the ring announcer, who holds up his tracking chart to prove that Seamus was indeed out of rope breaks. Thim hugs the Onslaught Championship belt as he heads to the back.
THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchThe Team From Down Under are out first, and they do not look the slightest bit happy. The head to the ring and wait, chomping at the bit to get their hands on the team that most likely cost them the tag titles. The Chickenshit Heels are announced, and they come out to the top of the ramp, they have the tag titles around their waist, and are holding Phantos & Lucios’ masks in their hands (how do they keep getting them?) They make it about halfway down the ramp when they are met by Jack and Gator, and the fight is on. The Aussies overwhelm TCH with punches and kicks, beating them down to the ground. Jack grabs Johnny by the leg, and Gator does the same to AA and they drag them down the ramp toward the ring. Jack pulls Johnny to his feet and sends him into the ring. The Aussies then pull AA to his feet and double whip him into the ring post, AA slams into the post, his head echoing with a loud, disturbing thud. AA falls to the floor, and once the camera catches up with the action, we see that he is a bloody mess.
Inside the ring, Jack is the legal man, and he pulls Johnny to his feet as the referee calls for the bell for the official start of the match. Jack scoops Adrenaline up and slams him on the mat, then bounds off the ropes and drops a fist right between Johnny’s eyes. Jack pulls Johnny up and sends him to the ropes and on the rebound, elevates him with a big back body drop. Jack tags in Gator, who quickly comes onto the ring and drops a knee across Johnny’s chest. They don’t even bother with a cover, opting to punish Johnny some more. Adrenaline is sent to the ropes, Gator reaches back and tags in Jack again, then catches Johnny in a bear hug. Jack charges into the ring and they connect with a Hart attack clothesline on Adrenaline. Gator grabs Johnny’s legs and catapults him up, right into a big boot from Jack. OBJ falls across Johnny and covers, but somehow he kicks out at two. Jack is quickly up to his feet and he sends Adrenaline to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon, and Johnny catches him with a sick DDT. Both men are down, Jack shakes the cobwebs out, and make the tag to Gator, while Johnny crawls to his corner and finds……nothing.
The camera pans around and we see AA just starting to stir on the outside, crawling toward the apron, trying to wipe the blood from his eyes. Gator catches Johnny with a kick to the back of the head, then drags him to the middle of the ring and mounts him, and hammers him with straight rights to the face. Gator pulls Johnny up and throws him between the ropes to the floor. Gator follows him out and Jack distracts the referee. With the ref looking elsewhere, Gator grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Adrenaline’s face, sending him to the floor as well.
AA is finally on the apron, but he is bleeding badly and has to use the ropes to keep himself on the apron. Johnny tries to crawl away but Gator grabs him and rolls him back into the ring. Johnny tries to get to his corner, but Gator gets between him and the corner. Adrenaline begs for mercy but Gator grabs his head and is about to hammer him with shots to the head. The referee steps in and warns Gator about using a closed fist. While he is doing that, Johnny grabs the referee and hits a LOW BLOW ON THE REF! The referee doubles over in pain, waving for the bell the entire time! Johnny rolls out of the ring, away from a stunned Gator. AA jumps off the apron and they snatch the titles and head up the ramp. Just as they are trying to put the masks back on, Run DEA charges out from the back. Johnny and AA turn back toward the ring, but The Team From Down Under are closing in on them.
The Chickenshit Heels hop the railing and escape through the (relative) safety of the crowd. They will live to fight another day it seems.
WINNERS by Disqualification in 9:31 – The Team From Down Under
THE DEAD vs. CHRIS EVANS – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match“Doomsday Clock” comes over the PAs, and the crowd cheers The Dead’s entrance. He’s on a remarkable winning streak, is this going to be yet another win? Or will Chris Evans be the one to end The Dead’s streak? We don’t have to wait to find out because of poorly placed commercial breaks, like those OTHER promotions, because here comes Chris “Lionheart” Evans to Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper.” The two meet in the ring, and, after Angelo Barros calls for the bell, the two slap hands and go.
With your opening lock up, things are fairly even. They maneuver each other back and forth, exchanging arm locks and such. Evans gets the advantage first, shoving The Dead into the ropes, and back into a clothesline. The Dead goes down, and Evans follows up with a couple of elbow drops. Dead is tough though, and a couple of elbows aren’t going to keep him down. On the third elbow drop, Dead makes his move, grabbing Evans around the neck. He stands, bringing Evans with him, and gets him up and over in a quick suplex. He goes for a cover, and Evans kicks out at two. Both men stand. Dead looks at him and smiles, as in “I can pin you whenever I want.” Evans smiles back, as in “and I can kick out whenever I want.” They lock up again, maneuver around each other, and Evans again shoves Dead to the ropes. This time when Dead bounces out, its foot first, doubling Evans over. He bounces off the other ropes, and comes flying in with a Bulldog. He has a little too much momentum though, and lands a bit awkwardly. Which gives Evans the opportunity to recover a bit and go for a roll up. Again, though, it’s too early, and Dead kicks out at barely one. Again, the men stand and grin at each other. It’s your third lock up of the match, and this time Dead pushes Evans into the corner. He holds him there for a while, until Barros threatens to count. Dead steps back and hits a huge backhand chop (WOOOOoooo) that echoes through the rafters. He follows it with a second (WOOOOoooo) and a third (WOOOoooo). Evans staggers out and falls to his knees, clutching his chest. Dead capitalizes and leaps on top of Evans, applying the Deathlock. He gets one leg of it locked in pretty good, but the other leg not so much. Still, he’s got a hold on it, and Evans strains towards the ropes. Barros leans down next to Evans and asks him if he’s going to tap, but Evans shakes his head. He does the obligatory reach for the ropes…almost….almost….almost….but no, as Dead realizes what he’s doing, and pulls him back towards the center. But by pulling him, the weak hold Dead had on the one leg gets weaker, and Evans is able to pull it out and kick Dead into the ropes. Dead lands across the second ropes, in perfect 6-1-9 position, but Evans isn’t from San Diego. He runs (with an almost imperceptible limp) up and pulls on the rope, choking Dead. Barros yells at him to release, and then begins the count. One, two, three…and Evans releases. Dead staggers back, clutching his throat. He glares at Evans, and goes after him, running him into the corner with punch after punch after punch. Referee Barros reminds Dead of the rules, and then begins the count. Dead steps back after about four, and then turns and hits a recovering Evans with the Bitchslap of Disrespect. Evans spins around from the blow, and Dead catches him from behind with a neckbreaker. There are no smiles between these two now, as Dead makes the cover. Evans gets a shoulder up at two. Dead once again tries to get the Deathlock, but Evans scrambles for the ropes. Dead reaches through to try and get him, but is again admonished by Barros. Dead backs off, clearly annoyed, as Evans has dropped down to the floor, greatly angered by the Bitchslap. He grabs a chair and throws it into the ring. Barros does that arm wavy thing that all referees do, as Evans climbs in. Barros grabs the chair, and then appears to warn both Evans and Dead that any further shenanigans will not result in any of this counting nonsense, but an immediate disqualification. Both wrestlers nod, but continue to glare at each other.
Barros turns to toss the chair out of the ring, and Evans responds to Dead with a thumb to the eye!! He’s clearly been hanging around RunDEA too long, or is just THAT angry at that bitchslap. Dead grabs his eye as Barros turns back around, completely clueless as to why he’d be doing that. Evans lands his Clothesline from Hades (lariat), and Dead goes down. Evans runs to the ropes and goes for the Springboard Moonsault. He hits it and now Dead is pinned. But he gets his shoulder up at two. Evans administers a few punches, and pulls Dead up into a fireman’s carry. But Dead wriggles free and slides down behind Evans. He pushes Evans off and goes for a frantic Close the Casket. But his aim is off, maybe because of the thumb to the eye from earlier, he doesn’t see Evans dodge at the last minute, and hits Referee Barros! Barros spins around to the corner and tries to recover, holding his jaw. Evans slides out and goes after the chair again. Dead reaches down over the ropes and grabs it out of Evans hands. He pulls it back to toss it behind him, but just at that moment, Barros recovers, turns and sees Dead with the chair, and calls for the bell.
WINNER in 23:11 by Disqualification – Chris Evans
POE vs. DH MAGNUSSON – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match“Calm Before the Storm” comes over the sound system, and we've finally reached our main event for the evening. DH Magnusson makes his way down to the ring, having all sorts of Run DEA heat thrown his way. In typical DH fashion, he pretty much shrugs it off and climbs into the ring. “Misera Cantare” quickly cuts in, and uber-popular OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe appears at the top of the ramp with Selena Gomez in tow. They get to the ring and Poe tries to do his 4-corner Poe's just Mags jumps him at the bell! Davis Hightower quickly calls for the bell and we're underway!
Mags is landing brutal forearms and elbows to Poe's back; he's just smashing him into the corner. Mags retreats a couple of steps and hits a splash, and Poe is rocking the Undertaker-not-really-knowing-where-he-is spot. DH winds up for a big kick to the back, and Poe is wobbly. DH stands aside Poe and looks to hit a Side Russian Leg Sweep...he's not going for Dream Street already, is he? We'll never know, because Poe gets the hell out of Dodge when he realizes his predicament. Hightower starts to count, and Mags looks on menacingly. By the count of 3, Mags gets impatient and rolls out after Poe, and bundles him into the STEEL STEPS. Poe's a big guy, so they go flying. DH does some highly technical grab-Poe's-hair-and-smash-him-into-the stairs moves, and Poe just can't get out of the gate. A trickle of blood starts dripping from Poe's forehead. Mags hits a big BULLDOG on the STEEL STEPS, and Poe looks unconscious. Finally, DH feels that's probably enough punishment, and, with some effort, gets Poe rolled into the ring. Mags slips on the apron trying to get into the ring, but eventually does get in and cover the lifeless Poe...1...2...NO! Poe BARELY rolled the shoulder and DH slaps the mat several times in frustration.
Mags drags the big man up, and hits a Hangman's Neck breaker, which isn't going to feel very good. He drags Poe and props him up in the corner. Mags takes a couple of steps backward before hitting a THUNDERCRACK. Poe's eyes roll back in his head as he flops to the mat. DH covers! New Champ? 1...2...th...NO! Poe is able to get the shoulder up, and this time Mags isn't playing around. He gets Poe to his feet just to blast him with the JERSEY HAMMER. DH covers immediately...1..2...NO! DH is fuming, but suddenly he gets a sick and eerie look of calm on his face as he pulls Poe up once again. He stands next to him, locking Poe in for another Side Russian Leg sweep...and he's going for Dream Street again! He tries is and somehow Poe blocked the leg sweep! Poe snarls and hits a Sidewalk Slam, and that gives him some time to regroup. Hightower starts a count, but Mags is up pretty quickly at 3. He crosses the ring to where Poe is crumpled in a heap, and looks to go for the good ol' Footstomp. But Poe grabs DH's foot on the way down! He stands up with a severely irritated look in his eye, and hits a DRAGON SCREW on DH, and it was a good one, because Mags is holding his knee.
Poe clearly doesn't care, as he drops an elbow to DH's neck. Mags tries to get up, but Poe is right on him and grabs him. He pulls up and delivers a monster OBELISK on Mags and both men are down again. Poe is up first at 6, but Mags isn't far behind and rushes at Poe. Poe uses DH's momentum against him, and is easily able to lock him in for a Powerbomb Lungblower! Poe covers, but DH is able to kick out at 2. Poe, still a little bloody, wipes some from his eyes as it appears he's made a full recovery. Another Elbow Drop from Poe, this time to the throat, and Mags is suddenly in huge trouble. Poe drags Mags to his feet, but Mags bravely fights back with lefts and rights, and appears to stagger Poe. DH hits the far ropes and looks to take the big man down, but Poe DESTROYS him with a HIEROGLYPH! Poe signals to the crowd, and pulls DH in. This might do it! He gets Poe up and...CRUCIFIXION! Good night folks, drive home safely!
WINNER in 13:16 by Pin fall...POE!
Post-match, Mags powders to the floor as Selena and Poe pose with the belt a little bit in the ring. Suddenly, out of nowhere, TYTAN comes flying into the ring and nails Poe with the chain wrapped around his fist! He rips off 6 or 7 brutal shots to the face as Selena screams from the outside to her fallen...whatever he is. Tytan grabs a chair and drags Poe to the closest top turnbuckle and hits him with THE ECLIPSED! Right on the Steel chair! The crowd is shitting all over this, obviously, and Tytan does some sinister posing in the ring. Suddenly there seems to be movement from the crowd, and someone flies into the ring! Tytan turns and eats a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, and Davin Moreland poses over Tytan. The fuck? Davin already had a brutal match tonight, and...came out to save Poe? To kill Tytan? Davin throws Tytan to the outside, and Selena meekly comes to the ropes as if seeking permission. Davin simply eyes her and grabs the OOWF Heavyweight Championship. He looks at it for a bit before busting out a wicked grin, and draping the belt over the lifeless corpse of Poe and patting it a couple of times. The boom mics pick up Davin saying “anytime I want” before he leaves the ring. As Davin makes his way up the ramp, Poe stirs in the ring, and he sits up and grabs his title and stares at Davin, and then out at Tytan, who is back on his feet. Davin makes sure to mention once again “any time I want” as he is backing up the ramp, but he never sees LD Williams coming. Williams spins Davin around, kicks him low, and hits the CANADIAN DESTROYER on the ramp! Davin is DEAD! LD looks at Tytan, then looks down at Davin, who is just stirring a little, then holds his hand out to Poe, written on Williams hand, in what appears to be blood is the Roman numeral five. Poe smirks in the ring, and without a word, LD turns and heads to the back.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the Territorial Beatings IV PPV, Live, May 31 from Iqaluit, Nunavut, Canada! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! May 6th from Hollywood, Florida.
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com
Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
