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Post by mooseheadjack on May 18, 2009 12:30:50 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, MD
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Poe vs. Beer Baron
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
The Dead vs. DH Magnusson
OOWF World Tag Team Titles Triple Threat Match[/u]
The Chickenshit Heels vs. Cowboy Up vs. The Heroes Guild
OOWF Onslaught Championship Title Match[/u]
Thim Reynolds vs. Blitz
Tournament For The Titles[/u]
World Heavyweight Title Elimination Series
Tytan vs. Firewoman vs. Spin Hansen
Intercontinental Title Elimination Series
Chris Evans vs. Stank vs. Seamus McNasty
World Tag Team Title Elimination Series - Group A
Run DEA vs. IHOP
World Tag Team Elimination Series - Group B
kz vs. The Team From Down Under
Onslaught Championship Elimination Series
Concrete TG vs. The Amnesiac vs. Matte
Card subject to the chaos in Chevy Chase coming back to haunt us
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:15:35 GMT -5
Seamus McNasty is sitting at the bar (as usual) in Poe’s locker room after the show. He’s looking at an empty glass and motions for the on call bartender.
SM: Fill ‘er up.
B: I’m sorry Mr. McNasty, we’re all out of Jameson’s
SM: Fine, just gimme what ya got.
Suddenly a bearded man wearing a cap pops up from behind the bar.
BMC: Think with yer dipstick Jimmy!
He whips Seamus with a dipstick. *whapow*
Before Seamus can react, the man runs out of the room and down the hall.
Matte is slouched in the hallway when the man approaches. Matte doesn’t react as the man stops in front of him, then smiles into the camera.
BMC: Think with yer dipstick…Jimmy!
*whapow*
Matte: Ow! What the Fu…
The Man is once again down the hall before Matte can react.
The Man comes upon Beer Baron leaving the infirmary and standing with an SFJ.
SFJ: Beer Baron, the bad news is you lost tonight, but the good news is you get a World Title shot at Poe next week. Your thoughts?
BB: Ya know, you’re right. I’m back in the big time now.
BMC: Now you’re thinkin’ with yer dipstick, Jimmy!
*whapow*
The Man rushes into the infirmary where SYB is laying on the table with a neckbrace on.
SYB: I’m getting too old for this shit.
BMC: Now yer thinkin’ with yer dipstick, Jimmy!
*whapow* *whapow* *whapow*
SYB: Oh Yahweh get him off!
Security rushes in and the Man high tails it out of there as SYB whines to the hot blonde nurse with D-cups. The Man rushes down the Hallway of Random Encounters where Poe I has just come through the curtain. Selena is by his side.
SG: I can’t wait until you break that loser’s neck.
BMC: You need to think with yer dipstick…Jimmy!
*whapow*
SG: OW!!!
Poe grabs the Man by the throat before he can run off. He lifts him up and chokeslams him to the concrete floor. Poe then stands over him as Selena rubs her back where she got whipped with the dipstick.
Poe: No one touches my goddess and survives…Jimmy.
Poe walks ahead. Selena spits on the Man.
SG: Nevermore…jackass.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:16:00 GMT -5
(Tytan is seen laughing as he heads down to the basement. The camera crew catches him)
Tytan: Poe...you see how close I was to breaking your neck....do you see how close I was to getting my hands on the brat...(Shivers)...it would have been music to my ears to hear her scream in fear....it will be even more musical to hear you scream in fear when I get my hands on her.....
Poe...you see partner....you are going down the road I wanted you to go....you can't control your monster....and when the monster finally comes....you will then make your mistake and I will destroy what you are....You play the part of being a hero to these people....they cheer you....but why....they don't know the real you...I know you better then you think....I can smell your blood boiling...you want to hurt me...you want to make me bleed...but still you hide behind people like Moose and Seamus...to me that makes you one thing...a COWARD!...I know your weakness....and will slowly pick away at it until I drive you mad....by the way how is Lenore.....remember you did let me into your home....I know where to go...what would happen if she suddenly disappeared....or Selena...
Then what kind of monster would you be....(laughs)the time getting closer partner....only one will be standing in the end....
(He turns and heads down into the basement.)
Fade
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:16:31 GMT -5
Tytan is walking back to his basement. He has an occasional twitch as he talks to himself. T: Ha ha little bitch was so scared. I could feel her tremble. Poe…the bastard saved her again. He won’t next time. Tytan opens the door and hits the light switch at the top of the stairs…nothing. He flips it a few more times. Nothing. Tytan sighs and heads down the steps he knows all too well. Before he reaches the bottom however, flames light, engulfing the room with light. Tytan takes a step back, using his arm to cover his face from the heat. Then he notices the fire is not random, but in a pattern.  Tytan’s mouth curls on one side to a wry smile. T: Looks like I’ve finally gotten your attention. Suddenly a chain is wrapped around Tytan’s neck from behind. He’s pulled backwards and Poe is right in his ear. Poe: Yes…yes you have. See how easy this was Partner? You think attacking me after my matches is gonna somehow intimidate me? You really think you can throw me off my game? Tytan tries to reach behind himself to grab Poe, but he can not. Poe: You’re playing games with the Master Kid. You wanna play games? We’ll play games. Trust me when I say you…will… Poe pulls the chain tighter, drawing a gasp from Tytan. Poe: Lose! Poe then releases the chain and shoves Tytan through the wall of flame into the center of the flaming Raven figure on the floor. Poe: Did it feel good Black Cat? See you in the ring…soon. Namaste. Tytan watches Poe walk up the steps. Tytan looks at the flames surrounding him and wonders why the sprinklers haven’t turned on yet. Tytan then looks back up to Poe as he’s just about to leave. T: *snarls* Nevermore. |
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:16:56 GMT -5
Firewoman is PACKING~! Well, more accurately, Lucky is putting her ring gear in her bag, as she never unpacks. She's in her regular jeans, tank top, and leather jacket and boots, getting ready to leave for Maryland. Alexander Darling and Chris "Lionheart" Evans are also lingering about.
L: You should get checked out first.
FW: I'm fine. You worry too much.
C"L"E: Hey Fire.
FW: Hey, Cubbie. Way to sabotage your stable mate there.
C"L"E: Yeah, as you and everyone else are so fond of reminding me, he's not my stable mate yet. When he is, then you can get all up in my face about it.
FW: Heh. Nice. Okay, Lucky, see you in Maryland.
AD: Wait, where are you going?
FW: Duh, Maryland?
AD: You are NOT getting on that death machine without at least sleeping, if you aren't going to get checked out.
FW: Look, Mom, I know what--
AD: No, you do not. Just leave in the morning. Get some sleep.
FW: First of all, I don't sleep. Second of all I'm not going straight to Maryland, I've got some ... things to take care of first. Third, one of those things is to maybe check out the local flavors, and--
AD: Oh, enough. Please spare me the details.
FW: --maybe not check out of the hotel depending on if I find someone.
AD: "If." That's funny. I swear, Lisa, if you kill yourself on that death machine, I will kick your ass.
FW: Yeah, I gotta motor. Later.
C"L"E: I'm surprised your in such a good mood...for you.
FW: Huh?
C"L"E: Well, you lost.
FW: So?
AD: No she didn't. She didn't get the pin but--
C"L"E: Yeah, but I know her thinking. She doesn't get a title shot next week, so that equals lost.
FW: So it does. Oh well, these things happen. See ya.
C"L"E: Seriously? Since when does Firewoman just so nonchalantly blow off the fact that she doesn't get a title shot?
FW: I get another chance next week, I'm not sweating it.
C"L"E: Seriously? The OOWF World Championship? You could have been facing Poe next week!!
AD: She knows.
FW: So I'll face him later than that. Or not. He could lose next week, and I face Beer Baron.
C"L"E: I don't get it. Defeating someone like Poe would be ... it would be awesome. I mean, you wrestled him in Japan, so it'd be like--
FW: No, I didn't.
AD: Seriously, Cub, drop it.
C"L"E: But you were both in the same--
Firewoman drops her luggage and glares at Evans.
FW: I am fine with the outcome of tonight's match. You need to let it go and worry about your own career and get out of my business.
Evans starts to withdraw but then glares back
C"L"E: Well, since you're currently carrying what was my DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal belt, I'd say your health and well being is very much my business.
FW: Yeah? Anytime you think you're ready, just try and take it.
AD: Okay, how 'bout we not do this now? I'm tired, Fire has a one night stand to get to, and Evans....well, you may want to make yourself scarce before DH wanders through.
C"L"E: Fine.
FW: Fine.
Evans leaves. Firewoman picks her bag back up and heads out
AD: Try not to set anything on fire.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:17:17 GMT -5
*Scheme Gene walks up to interview the Team From Down Under. Gator is on his laptop, and the images have been pixillated out for some odd reason. Outback Jack is tossing something that looks like C4 back in forth and laughing in a a somwhat deranged way*
Schem Gene: Fans, I'm here with the Team From Down Under. I'm going to ask Gator Bait...Sweet Jehosaphat, what is that woman doing!...OK, boys, let's edit that out in post production...I'm about to ask Outback Jack about his team's match with kz.
OBJ: Well, Gene...*tosses the object a few times, then throws it against a wall, which explodes, then laughs*
SG: I can see you're a busy man, er...
OBJ *Pulls a similar object from his vest, begins to toss it up and down* (drinks beer, belches): Australian for, there are those who call me ... Tim.
SG: What?
GB: Told you it was too obscure!
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:17:39 GMT -5
(CTG walks into TFDU's promo)
CTG: (looks at Gator) ...geek.
(CTG keeps walking)
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:18:05 GMT -5
Stank walks past Crete, into the Destroyitarium)
Stank - ....
(Scheme Gene shrugs his shoulders)
Stank - .... Why is there a fucking hole in the wall?
(Matte stumbles in, through the hole in the wall, his hair all disheveled (more than usual), his clothes tattered, his face black with soot.)
GB - I thought we only had one black member in D&D?
(Matte collapses on the floor.)
Stank - Yeah.... I'm going drinking somewhere else.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:18:23 GMT -5
Cowboy up arrives at the arena, greted by SFJ55
"after being beaten last week, you find yourselves in a title match tonight. Do you think this means Rck has softened his stance on you two?"
Zane "It was just a matter of time before he saw the error of his ways. Cowboy Up is ready to make thier mark in the tag team ranks. Those belts will soon be ours. "
Chad "So Chickenshits, be ready to hand over them straps to us come Wednesday. Ya might be a coupla funny guys, but when it comes to rasslin', ya aint got a prayer"
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:18:41 GMT -5
(Tytan is still standing in the outline of the fire raven.)
Tytan: Wait, seriously, why haven't the sprinklers turned on?
(A Japanese feller in a hoodie shows up dragging a hose.)
Japanese Feller: Sorry, them sprinklers been broken for weeks. Dagum kids playin' with your fire and your fancy promos.
(Japanese Feller puts out the water.)
Tytan: Thanks....some coward jumped me from behind...who are you? Night Janitor?
Japanese Feller: Nah. Just some old fogey who used to work here, still remembering the good times.
Tytan: Well, the name is Tytan. And pretty soon...I will be your World Heavyweight Champion.
Japanese Feller: I'm Eco. Good to meet you. (They shake hands.) Tytan like regular ol' Titan or in the pretentiously misspelled way?
Tytan: There's a Y...if that's what you mean...and don't call me pretentious...or I may forget that you just helped me out.
Eco: Whatever, I'm going to see if Ric Flair still sells sandwiches.
(Eco moseys off.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:19:06 GMT -5
*FADE IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*
<SYB is MENTORING~! Nate Corbitt as part of IHOP’s community service.>
SYB: So uh, Nate, you seem a bit old to be in Sturdy Wings. How old are you?
NC: 35.
SYB: Huh. So what are you doing in a program meant for kids?
NC: Well my wife threw me out of the house after my temper got the better of me during a softball game.
SYB: And?
NC: And I was roaming the streets.
SYB: And?
NC: And then the cops got me.
SYB: Got you for what?
NC: Truancy.
SYB: But you’re a grown man.
NC: Yeah well they thought I was ditching school.
SYB: I don’t understand.
<Skurge appears in the doorway, out of breath>
Skurge: Because he’s short, you dumb fuck. Also, nice neck brace, eh?
SYB: I knew that, I was just testing you. Hey where’s your little midget guy? Hornblower or whatever his name is.
Skurge: Don’t get me started on that little bastard. He’s always running around like a fucking jackass. I have no idea where he is and I don’t give a shit. We have to get ready for OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Hollywood, MD where we take on Run DEA.
SYB: …
Skurge: What?
SYB: No funny little nickname, like Alexandra Darling or David Morehead?
Skurge: What’s the point? They’re going to win anyway and if they don’t, they’ll bitch to Moose in chat.
<The phone rings and Skurge answers it>
Skurge: International Hoose of Punishment, how can I help you, eh? … Oh. Hey Kayfabe. What? Just let--No, but--You don't--Would you just--Give me--Let me get--You're not--Give me a-- AHHHHH!
<Skurge hangs up and looks over at SYB and his man-child protege>
Skurge: Kayfabe says we need to kindly shut the fuck up aboot chat and what not.
SYB: Fine. What are we going to do with Baby Huey here?
NC: Hey Fucko, at least I didn’t get raped by a steer.
SYB: You’re a Cubs fan, right?
NC: Yeah.
SYB: Then you’ve been fucked longer and harder than I ever was.
Skurge: Ooch.
NC: THIS IS THE YEAR!
SYB: Sure it is Sparky. Sure it is.
JFLV: I know what we can do with him. He can come sit on my lap.
SYB: …
Skurge: …
NC: …
DM: I think Jeffrey was saying maybe you can take Nate to get something to eat.
SYB: Good idea. Let’s go to Ric’s.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:19:31 GMT -5
[as he arrives at the top of the stairs and rounds a corner, Poe walks into Thim Reynolds]
P: Thim, how's things? Feeling a bit sore?
TR: two matches in one night, one where I took the World Heavyweight Champion to the limit for 45 minutes . . . yea, I'm a little sore. Wanna go at it again
P: Thim, you won a stupid little plucked from nowhere match to qualify for a shot at this title [Poe holds his title up in Thims face] and I played with you all night so the crowd didn't go home pissed off that they hadn't seen a good show. I've got bigger fish to fry than you little man
TR: yea, well you know what . . . I think that [taps the World title belt with his finger] could really do with a good dose of this [Thim raises his Onslaught Championship belt and clinks it to discipline gether with the World title]. My aim since I came back has been to show the world that I'm the best damn wrestler there is . . . wrestlers don't need chairs, don't need chains, don't need fucking barbed wire and baseball bats . . . wrestlers need strength, skill and discipline
P: whatever Thim, no-one cares . . . being the best in the OOWF means doing whatever it takes to get the win and if that means chocking someone out with a chain and throwing them into fire [Poe points with his thumb over his shoulder] then that's what I'll do. Now . . . I suggest you stop trying to play with the big boys and concentrate on keeping that cowards belt that you seem to be so proud of
[Poe turns and walk away from Thim]
TR: I'll get my rematch soon Poe, count on it . . . and who the hell is Blitz anyway??
Lin
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:20:16 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is TALKING on his Sprint PCS phone*
DM: So how is it?....Yeah...Well that's good then....no, not yet...from who?...Why were they calling you?...For me? Why?....There is no way it's been that long, has it?...No shit...well fine, I'll get something done...never done one myself before, I'll see if I can make your sister earn her keep for a change...ok that's just kinda gross...talk to ya later, babe...
*He closes the phone and goes to the Closet of Promotional Items, and starts putting them on a table. He sends a text message and suddenly Curt 'The Golden God' Schilling brings in assorted Dunkin Donuts items. Davin sends another text and Ric Bah Gawd Flair comes in with some D'Angelo's items he carries. He's pulling out some things he's apparently never seen before, so instead of sending a text, he decides to be an obnoxious child*
DM: LEXIE!
*Davin does this a couple more times before Alexis, clearly agitated, comes out*
LD: What. The Fuck. Do you want?
DM: Lexie, we have to do commercial spots.
LD: Well sure, that's a good idea, I know it's been a while.
DM: No. YOU don't understand. We haven't done a commercial in forever. The board is PISSED, so we have to do a bunch of these, like today.
LD: What's this "we" shit, kimosabe?
DM: Uh, yeah, Ms. Executive Partner Jackass is going to help the other Executive Partner.
LD: The Hell I am, find someone else.
DM: Fire's on her bike.."away". Alexander and Shawn went to do something presumably creepy. If DH is here I can't find him.
LD: What about Evans?
DM: Um, for many reasons, NO, but even without that, he's still not around. You're stuck with me, partner.
LD: I don't have time for this, asshole, I have a...thing with...uh...
*Davin's Sprint PCS phone rings*
DM: Hello? Ok. Lexie, it's for you. I'll put it on speaker.
SD(on phone): Stop being mean to him you bitch! Why don't you do something for a change?
LD: *yelling at the phone* Why don't you go fuck yourself and stay out of my business and go back to doing whatever the hell you're doing...What the fuck are you doing, anyway?
SD: Honestly, mostly shopping. Weather's been for shit.
LD: Too bad.
SD: Alexis, you help Davin do these fucking commercials, or I will kick your ass when I see you next.
LD: You wish.
SD: ALEXIS!
LD: *groans* FINE!
*Davin clips the phone shut*
DM: You're going to have to tell me what half of these are.
LD: *sigh* Yeah, we got a bunch of new sponsors apparently. Just get started on the stuff you know already and we'll come back to the other stuff.
DM: You're helping me with these.
LD: I am not.
DM: ALEXIS!
LD: *groans* FINE! What's first?
DM: Dunkin' Donuts of course.
LD: Of course.
DM: Ninja Cameraman, are you ready?
*Camera shakes 'yes'*
DM: Ok, 3...2...Hi! I'm Davin Moreland, OOWF Superstar, and here with me is Alexis Darling; Alexander Darling's sister...
*Alexis connects with a left hook to Davin's jaw sending him backpedaling*
DM: OW!
LD: Fuck you! I am not just "Alexander Darling's Sister"
DM: That really hurt!
LD: Good!
DM: Well, I'm not calling you 2-time IWA-MS Women's Champion because no one knows that that is, or cares.
LD: Fuck OFF Davin. God I hate you.
DM: Sure you do.
LD: Why don't we introduce ourselves as executive partners of Run DEA Corp.
DM: Ok fine, although people don't care about that much either. They care about Davin Moreland doing what Davin Moreland does best...kicking ass and winning belts.
LD: Whatever. You done?
DM: Fine...3...2..Hi! I'm Davin Moreland and I'm here with my Executive Partner in Run DEA Corp, Alexis Darling.
LD: Nice to be here, Davin.
DM: Alexis, we've got a lot of products to educate our fans about today, so why don't we get started?
LD: Sure thing, jackass.
DM: CUT! What the FUCK Alexis?
LD: I don't WANNA do this.
DM: Are you gonna cry now?
LD: Fuck OFF!
DM: Fine. Here's the reality, Alexis. You don't have a fucking choice. You're an executive partner, and the other one is ME, and I hold more stock than you, so I am your boss, and I am ordering you to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO THIS! God, don't you know that if we don't do sponsorships, this goes away? Daddy's not paying you anymore.
LD: God, shut up. Fine. Whatever. Dunkin' Donuts.
DM: You're JUST like him.
LD: I said SHUT UP!
DM: Fine, we'll take it from "why don't we get started". Your line is "Sure thing, Davin" not "Sure thing, Jackass"
LD: *laughs* That was funny though.
DM: Alexis...
LD: FINE God...3..2..Sure thing, Davin. Let's start with our major sponsor Dunkin' Donuts. Our friends there would like us to talk about getting a free Turbo Shot with any Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee. But first, let's take a look back at how Dunkin' Donuts has impacted the OOWF...
*We see a montage with several OOWF Superstars drinking Iced Coffee, most notably Moosehead Jack from the Neverending Promo*
LD: Davin, what exactly IS a Turbo Shot?
DM: Simply put, a Turbo Shot is a shot of espresso which is added to any Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee. Normally, they're $.99, but for a limited time only, they can be yours free.
LD: Doesn't the ice melt?
DM: No.
LD: But it's hot...
DM: NO! Hey, let's take a look at what a Turbo Shot can do for you.
DM: Get your free Turbo Shot at participating Dunkin' Donuts for a limited time only! Dunkin' Donuts: America Runs on Dunkin'....what's next?
LD: D'Angelo's/Papa Gino's. Yum! Foods
DM: It's their plane, so probably a good idea.
LD: Ok so, looking at their stuff they don't really have anything new going on.
DM: Sweet. Tag lines. D'Angelos, 'cause you've been very, very good. Can't make it out tonight? Call Papa Gino's It's Papa Time!! Show Me Tedy Bruschi!
DM: Next up! Aquafina! Tell em' Lexie!
LD: It's water! Pepsi makes it! It tastes like water! Aquafina! Here's Lou Pinella!
DM: Great work, partner! Next up, Starwood Hotels!
LD: Starwood Hotels! Sheraton! Westin! St. Regis! W! Sheraton Four Points! Sheraton Luxury Collection! Element by Westin! Here's the funny college one and then the Pat Benetar creepy one!
DM: Great Work Lexie! What's next?
LD: Sprint PCS!
DM: Phones! Texts and stuff! Totally own Nextel now! Oh yeah, 4G Network! Sprint PCS! Commercial! Go!
LD: What's next?
DM: U.S. Virgin Islands Board of Tourism!
LD: Wait...seriously?
DM: Yeah, they finally coughed up some cash.
LD: Shouldn't you do it then?
DM: Why?
LD: You like, lived there and stuff.
DM: So? How hard is it to say Islands! Hot! No Passport required for US Citizens (even though you really totally need one)!
LD: This whole thing is making me like you less.
DM: Well, look on the bright side, there wasn't a hell of a lot further down you could have gone.
LD: US Virgin Islands! St. Thomas! St. Croix! St. John! Water Island! Beaches and stuff! Cheap Booze and cigarettes! Hot and stuff! Snorkeling or whatever! No Passport Required for US Citizens except that you'll totally need one unless you want to get yanked out of line at the airport! Hit the meh commercial!
LD: Endless possibilities! What does that even mean?!?
DM: I dunno, there's one more, right?
LD: 2 more.
DM: What's first?
LD: Carolina Hurricanes
DM: Seriously?
LD: Looks that way.
DM: Um...k. Carolina Hurricanes! Totally used to be the Whalers! Ward! Staal! Brind'Amour is 300 years old! Beat the Devils and the Bruins because they clearly suck! Carolina Hurricanes!
LD: Brodeur is the greatest goalie ever, jackass.
DM: 5-hole!
LD: Asshole.
DM: What's the last one?
LD: ShamWow
*DH Magnusson comes flying in from out of nowhere*
DHM: SHAMWOW!
DM: SHAMWOW!
LD: SHAMWOW!
DM: Tell 'em, Vince!
DHM: You know the Germans always make good stuff!
*He leaves*
DM: Was that so hard?
LD: Yes. What about your match this week?
DM: Should be a good one!
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:21:00 GMT -5
(Tytan sits in the corner of his basment having all of his guest leave. He sits laughing.)
Tytan: Poe....(laughs)...don't you see I have gotten in your head...you don't understand...I am winning already....you came down into my world...I told you I am not hard to find...I am getting in your head.(laughs)..even if you like it or not....I am...(laughs)
Now...that was nice sneak up behind me...after you talk about how weak it was for me to do it....wow me with your "Hollywood" magic....the chain was nice....it did feel good...the pain is very comforting...but you did mention something very interesting...you called me a black cat...you know what they say when a black cat crosses your path....it means bad luck...but you seem smart....by you calling me that means you already know what is instore for you....
I will face you again...but first there is other business to tend too...one down one two go....and then it is you and me in the ring again Firewoman...I will get my hands around your pretty little neck and BREAK it! I will send you to Poe as wounded dog...that needs to be put out of its Misery....but Spin I need to take you out of the picture...and you know we can do this the easy way or the painful way....you spend some time down in the basement...training...you know what I am capable of...so we can do this the easy way or the painful...help me kill Firewoman and it will be easy...don't and your end will be just as painful as hers....the choice is yours
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:21:23 GMT -5
*Basement*
Tytan is still sitting in the dark when he hears footsteps coming down the stairs. He gets into a defensive position ready for an attack when the footsteps stop and then we hear clapping. The ninja cam turns on it's night vision and spins towards the stairwell where we see Alexander Darling taking a seat with Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson rubbing his shoulders.
Tytan: What do you want Boy?
Alexander Darling: Normally, I'd beat you to death for calling me Boy and threatening Firewoman like you have been, but that's not why I'm here today.
Tytan: And why are you here? Come to thank me for doing what you couldn't. Come to see the monster who will finally take down your big scary Poe.
Alexander: I am here about Poe, but it's not to thank you. It's to tell you that you're going to fail and you're going to fail in epic proportions.
Tytan: You know nothing about the monster I've become. Agent X...
Alexander: Agent X, Agent Orange, Orange you glad you didn't call me banana...none of it matters because you've already lost Tytan.
Tytan: Enlighten me then Darling. Why have I already lost?
Alexander: Because he already sees you coming. You made the mistake of coming at Poe from the front. You threatened him. You've made promises you can't keep. That's why you and I are different and why, when the time comes, I will be the one to finish Poe.
Tytan: Because you're a coward who attacks men from behind? Maybe I should give you and your piece of jailbait a taste of what will happen to Poe and his little brat.
Alexander: You can try. You'll fail, just like you will against Poe.
Tytan starts to approach Alexander and Shawn when Darling stands up and reaches behind him to grab something from OGM SJ's hidden hand. He brings it to the front and starts twirling his trusty signed sledgehammer (Hi Eric).
Tytan: Always the cowards way Boy.
Alexander: You can call it the cowards way all you want, it's also the smart way. You'll realize that when Poe leaves you a bloody, quivering mess calling for you little Diana. The question then shall be, did someone already get to your precious doctor before you sent her away.
Tytan: If you so much as...
Alexander: If I so much as what? What do you think you can do to me Tytan. You're a big, dumb buffoon and you wouldn't be able to carry out a plan of any magnitude without the whole world knowing what was coming. So, here's what I'm going to do for ya, big man. I'm going to sit back, I'm going to watch you try and take out Poe. I'm going to watch you fail. And then, maybe I'll finish the job you sure as hell won't finish. Or maybe I'll just come out and laugh at you. Because the fact of the matter is, for all of my feelings towards Poe, you aren't even a grain of sand in the hourglass of our war. You'll just be another casualty.
Tytan: Just watch and see Boy. And when I do beat Poe, which I will do. And after I finish Firewoman, I think I may have just found my next victim.
Alexander: That's nice. But just remember this, I am Alexander Darling and I am Awesome...BOOYAH, Bitch!
Alexander turns around with OGM SJ and they head upstairs and right outside into a waiting limo as they head over to the soundstage to take care of their commercials for the week.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:21:48 GMT -5
Firewoman comes roaring in to the most recent OOWF Arena, and screeches to a halt in her parking spot. She dismounts her new ride, and takes off her helmet, swinging her red hair.
FW: Paulie!
PB: Yes ma'am?
FW: Same deal.
PB: Oh....y-y-yes ma'am.
Alexander Darling and Shawn Johnson are walking through, having left the ridiculously busy basement.
AD: A little fast, wasn't it?
FW: Huh?
AD: Never mind. Where have you been?
FW: You really wanna know?
AD: No....We have to do some endorsement stuff. Lexie said.
FW: Yeah, she sent me a text three days ago. I was .... busy.
OGM SJ: Doing what?
AD: Don't. Don't ever ask that.
FW: Heh...I'll tell you later, Shawn.
OGM SJ: Awesome. So....training? My match isn't on the card yet, but I want to be ready.
FW: Yeah, let me get settled, and then yes, Alex, I will do whatever Lexie wants.
Firewoman smiles at a double entendre that Alex doesn't get at first, and then does. Shawn doesn't.
AD: Whatever....
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:22:10 GMT -5
(Tytan paces the hallways of the basement. Obviously annoyed by all the unwanted vistors that are heading down to the basement these days. The ninjacameraman follows.)
Tytan: It seems these days I am Mr. Popular.....everyone wants to come down and tell Tytan that Tytan is going to fail and ...blah..blah.blah...shut the hell up...guess what...Tytan will not fail...Tytan has not failed...Oh but you loss the final match to Firewoman....but have you seen Firewoman since that match...Firewoman had not been the same damn woman since....why do they want to try to mess with the mind of someone who is already not right....do they want something ugly to happen....something where the OOWF would be covered in blood....something where there will be alot of pain...suffering....(he looks to the camera.)...answer me....why are you following me anyway....
Now...you see Poe I have already gotten into his head.....you see it has never been about winning or not...it has been about getting in their heads and making them into what they don't want to become...showing them the monster that is within them...why is Fire meeting with her Doctor....Poe you can soon be joining her...you are buddies anyway aren't you? You want....sick and twisted....I can give that to you too Darling....you think I will fail....how can I fail when I am already winning this game....Poe came to find me....he does that and that makes the brat that much more vulnerable.....then (he laughs)...how twisted would Poe become then.....a true monster....then I would have truly won.....
So partner....I will be waiting for the next time you come and visit....oh and when you tuck the brat into bed tonight....tuck her in real good and give her a little peck on the forehead....because the boogie man may not be to far away......
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:22:42 GMT -5
Share Post On Facebook Re: MidWeek Mayhem (05/20) Live! From Hollywood, M
« Reply #25 on May 18, 2009, 7:22am »
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:23:18 GMT -5
<kz is sitting in Poe’s locker room, LD is studying tape of The Team From Down Under, Moose is sitting on the couch puffing on the hookah>
LD: Look, they have a tell right there. Did you see that?
MHJ: Yeah sure
LD: And THERE! Jack favors his shoulder! I KNEW he was hiding an injury, and watch this, when they are going to set up for the Call of the Wild, it is ALWAYS Gator who beshrming donk gaforide snmm…….
<Moose takes another hit from the hookah and slips into a hookah induced haze>
Moose………….moose…………..MOOOOOOOOSE
<Moose snaps awake and stares at LD who is glaring at him>
LD: Have you been paying attention? Have you heard a word I said?
MHJ: <grinning> Don’t worry LD, I’m ready
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:23:54 GMT -5
JA and AA are in their locker room, preparing for their OOWF tag team title defense against Cowboy Up and The Heroes Guild. Johnny looks especially glum.
AA: Johnny, you look especially glum. Is everything OK?
JA: Yeah, it’s just that I have a hard time getting up for a match against two such goodie-goodie teams. It’s like facing the Lightning Express and the Smoking Gunns. I bet neither of them even know how to poke a person in the eyes.
AA: Wait! We’re facing both Brad AND Scott Armstrong? Those guys are weanies!
JA: Exactly my point. Since we came back to the OOWF, we’ve faced guys who hated us week after week after week after week after week. Brawling and cussing and fighting and stabbing and slobber-knocking. After months of that, I’m not sure I can get into the ring with those teams. They’ll probably want to shake our hands!
AA: Umm, Johnny? We’ve only been back for three weeks.
JA: Really? It seems like a lot longer. Maybe that’s why I haven’t seen a paycheck yet.
AA: So you really think they’ll make us shake hands? That sucks. I’ve never shaken hands with someone unless I was going to kick them in the balls. (Suddenly, the camera fades out and back in. We see video clips of a young AA shaking hands with various people and then kicking them in the balls. We see it happen to AA’s first-grade teacher, the principal, the mailman, a police officer, the cable repair guy, his first date, a preacher, a convenience store worker, the Canadian Indian TCH allegedly killed, Mel Brooks, Samantha Ronson, Bill Apter and, in the ring, Johnny Adrenaline. The camera fades out and back into AA in the locker room.) Ahh, good times.
JA: What are you talking about? You kicked me in the balls! That was not a good time!
AA: Get over it, Johnny. That was a long time ago. We’re tag team partners now. Here, let’s shake on it.
AA sticks his hand out for a handshake. Johnny, surprisingly, accepts. They shake hands, then at the very same moment, kick each other in the balls and fall backward to the floor, holding their crotches.
AA and JA: Ahh, good times!
Donnie Viper: And you guys call me a homo!
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:25:42 GMT -5
Firewoman is in the practice ring with....really? Okay. With Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson. She is helping Johnson with her falls from back body drops. She's landing fairly awkwardly, but getting better, and Firewoman is being...uncharacteristically patient. There's also an array of camera and sound people around, moreso than usual, and a director. It becomes obvious that in addition to training, this is a commercial. Dir: Okay, and action. Firewoman lifts Shawn Johnson up and over, onto her back one more time. Shawn lands right, but still grimaces in pain. FW: See, if you drank your MHP Dark Rage you'd be ready for this work out Shawn. OGM SJ: You're right, Firewoman. I'll remember next time. FW: And don't forget MHP Dark Matter after we're done, to maximize the 'critical anabolic window' to feed, replenish and fuel your muscles. Dir: Okay, and here is where we'll add some voice over stuff which we'll record later and now hit the tag. While he's talking, Firewoman walks over to a set up display with tubs of Dark Rage on one side and Dark Matter on the other, and stands between them. FW: Alone They're Great ... Together They're UNSTOPPABLE! BODYBUILDING'S ULTIMATE MUSCLE-BUILDING STACK! [source: www.maxperformance.com/mhp/myweb.php?hls=1352]Dir: And.....cut! Great job Firewoman. Your agent was right. You are a lot easier to work with these days. FW: Uh huh. How 'bout you all clear out so Shawn and I can get back to what we were doing? The crew strikes the set and the equipment, as Firewoman and Shawn continue. Johnson's gymnastics background is helpful, but she's still struggling. But showing improvement. They decide to take a break and they each grab an Aquafina. OGM SJ: So.... FW:.... what? OGM SJ: Are you and Jericho going to make up? FW: I don't really do girl talk. OGM SJ: Oh it's just that when we went out to LA and we were on his show and you guys were so cute and i know that -- Johnson goes on and on like that without breathing for about three minutes. Firewoman tries to be polite and sips her Aquafina, and then directs her gaze to a darkened corner of room. Johnson doesn't notice at first and keeps prattling on, but then she does. OGM SJ: Gee, sorry I'm boring you. FW: Shut up. Firewoman lobs her Aquafina bottle to the corner, and it barely misses the figure we now see standing there. The figure lets out a very girly squeal. OGM SJ: Is that SYB? FW: Hardly. Step out, Selena. Selena Gomez steps out of the shadows, meekly. OGM SJ: Selena is spying on us!? FW: It's called "scouting," and it's very smart. SG: It is? FW: Sure. You wanna know what your opponent's strengths and weaknesses are, right? SG: But she's not... I mean, I'm not..... FW: Poe still not letting you? OGM SJ: He knows I'll mop the floor with the little freak. FW: Not so fast, Shawn. You each have your strengths and weakness to be exploited. Don't be so sure of yourself that you underestimate your opponent. OGM SJ: Whatever. SG: No, he's adamant that I'm not getting in the ring. FW: He may not have a say in it. (Firewoman shakes her head) Damn shame too. SG: Why? FW: Because I can tell by the way you move, you'd be a natural. Especially the way your mind works. Reminds me of -- SG: Yes, you. You said that once before. FW: And I mean it. You know, I'd even train you. SG: Master would not let that happen. FW: No, probably not. Not if he knew about it anyway. Selena looks to be deep in thought, as if she's considering this. Shawn Johnson looks confused. SG: You wouldn't like hurt me or anything, would you? FW: Shawn, have you been injured at all? OGM SJ: No. Not really. FW: See? You can trust me. SG: Hm. Uncle Moosie says that all the time. FW: And you trust him, right? SG: Yes. FW: Well then.... SG: I'll think about it. At that point, Moosehead Jack appears in the door way, as he has apparently been looking for Selena. MHJ: There you are. What are you.....Fire, do you have a death wish? FW: Hey, she snuck in here all on her own. MHJ: (To Selena) You need to quit sneaking out. Did she hurt you? FW: Oh please, I'm all the way in the ring and she's down there by the wall. I'm good, but I'm not that good. SG: She didn't. She's been....nice. MHJ: Uh huh. Let's get going, Mouse. They turn to leave, and Moose looks back at Fire who is smiling in the ring. MHJ: Whatever game you're playing, just stop. FW: You flatter me. It's almost as if you care. MHJ: I do. Keep messing with her, and you won't just have Poe to answer to, you'll have to answer to me too. FW: Uh huh. Think about what I said Selena. SG: I will. The two of them leave, but not after further glares from Moosehead Jack which are met with more "innocent" smiles from Firewoman. Shawn Johnson just looks at her. OGM SJ: So, do you know what you're doing? FW: I always know what I'm doing. And this totally sparkles with me. |
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:26:36 GMT -5
<Moose and Selena are walking back to the locker room in silence. After a few minutes Selena breaks the silence>
SG: Are you mad at me?
MHJ: No
SG: I tried to hide, I just wanted to watch, but she saw me.......
MHJ: You DO know what Fire could do to you, right?
SG: No no! She offered to TRAIN me! I think maybe she likes me!
<Moose stops and turns and looks at Selena>
MHJ: And you believed her?
SG: Well......I mean........she could have come after me. She is training Shawn.........since she is on the meds, she's not as mean, and she said I could trust her!
MHJ: Yeah she did. Remind you of anyone else you know?
SG: YEAH! You!
MHJ: Yes, and while YOU trust me, does anyone else?
SG: LD does
MHJ: Beside him
SG: Seamus probably does
MHJ: Beside him
SG: Poe?
MHJ: No.....does anyone NOT in our little group trust me?
<Selena thinks for a moment>
SG: I don't think so, no
MHJ: Exactly, and why don't they trust me?
SG: Because you are mean and like to hurt people?
MHJ: Exactly. Fire is no different. She can hide her true nature with meds, but in the end, the real Fire will always come out. Always has, always will
<They walk alone in silence for a few more seconds>
SG: You sure know a lot about Fire. How do you know so much about her?
MHJ:<stopping in front of the door and looking at Selena> Never mind. You need to get the match business out of your head. Poe wouldn't allow it, and if anything happened to you, whoever did it would probably end up in a body bag. Fire is playing games with Poe, make sure you don't get caught up in that too.
SG:<looking disappointed> Ok. You coming in?
MHJ: No, I have to meet LD. We have to discuss some things for the match this week
SG:<suddenly happy again> You are going to hurt the Aussies aren't you?
MHJ: That's the plan
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:27:27 GMT -5
<Stank is on his cellphone, sitting at a table, in a local Applebees with SFJ#6>
Stank - No... NO! I don't want to discuss it!... Jared!... Oh that is NOT the FUCKING point and you KNOW it!... ... ... FINE!
<Stank angrily ends the call, then looks around at all the other patrons staring at him.>
Stank - What are you all LOOKING at?!?!
<Everyone returns to their own business>
SFJ#6 - You and your brother don't get along?
Stank - Lauren, I don't want to talk about it. What are you having?
SFJ#6 - I really don't like Applebees.
Stank - ... ... Then why did you insist we come here?
SFJ#6 = Because I heard he was coming here.
Stank - He who?
<Stank follows SFJ#6's gaze over to a far table where Chris Evans is apparently having dinner alone.>
Stank - Oh fuck. Lauren, you didn't.
SFJ#6 - Hey. I gotta look out for my career. I'm gunning for that number 1 spot.
Stank - I can't believe you would try to use me like this. All I wanted was to go out and have a nice dinner with some good company. Well I don't how you thought this little stunt was going to pan out, but I'm not picking a fight with Evans today. I'm just going to sit here. I'm going to get something to eat, and then I'm out. Now you can choose to stay and have dinner with me, and then you and I can continue the evening in bliss later, or...
SFJ#6 - I thought you might say something like that... that's why I invited him.
<In walks Seamus McNasty, and he walks straight toward Stank's table... probably because SFJ#6 is waving her arms calling the big man over.>
Stank - Christ.
SM - Hey! What's he doing here? I thought it was just you and me, love?
Stank - Seamus.
SM - You shut your mouth. You think I forgot about the cueball to the back of my head?
Stank - I thought that would be water under the bridge by now?
SM - You thought wrong... (turns to SFJ#6) and WHY are YOU smiling like a cat with a cream-flavored arsehole?
SFJ#6 - You should have heard what Stank was saying about your mom before you walked in.
Stank - LAUREN!?
SM - Couldn't of been anything worse than what I've said about the old bat, myself
Stank - Seamus I never said anything about your mom. I'm sure she's a lovely woman.
SM - And how the FEK would you know anything about me mum you fekkin shitebag!?
Stank - Seamus calm down. You're starting to sound like a fucking extra from Gangs of New York.
SM - THAT'S it!
<Chris Evans is about to take a bite of his grilled shrimp and spinach salad when he hears glass breaking and tables being upturned. He looks over and spies Stank and Seamus BRAWLING~! amongst scattering patrons and Applebees staff.>
C"L"E - Oh great.
<Fade to Commercial>
<Fade back and Chris Evans comes CRASHING~! out the plate glass front window of Applebees, shattering their logo. McNasty stands just inside, then is SPEARED out through the opening left by Evans, by Stank. Seamus and Stank roll around on the sidewalk outside. Chris Evans rises and jumps into the fray. SFJ#6 walks outside and turns to her cameraman.>
SFJ#6 - Are you getting this?
CM - Yeah. Hell of fight isn't it?
SFJ#6 - Isn't it though? Make sure you get a good angle.
<The cameraman advances towards the scuffle, trying to get a better shot, when both Stank and Evans whip Seamus into the the cameraman and we lose the feed... >
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:28:15 GMT -5
(Ecosystem walks quietly into an empty room.)
Eco: Moose? Moose? (No response.) Darn. I thought he'd be here...
(Eco notices the hookah.)
Eco: Well, I do have Lebanese relatives. What harm could it do?
(Eco takes a puff of the hookah.)
(A kindly sexy female journalist shakes a screaming Eco.)
SFJ #523: You all right there?
Eco: Sexy Female Journalist #523! I had the most frightening dream! I dreamed Eminem cut an entire album with nothing insightful to say, and started releasing singles about being a serial killer!
SFJ#523: You're not actually high. You're just watching the television.
Eco: Oh. Shit. That's depressing.
(Super Mario bounces in)
SM: MARIO!
Eco: Oh Mario! It's good to see you again! You have to help me find whoever is in charge these days, so I can seek gainful employment once more!
SM: MAMA MIA!
(Super Mario pulls out a Star, which Eco grabs. They both glow yellow and fly off.)
SFJ#523: Huh. I suppose I must be high.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 27, 2009 14:28:43 GMT -5
SFJ: We are LIVE backstage here in HOLLYWOOD! Hollywood, Maryland, that is. Joining me is our Intercontinental Champion, The Dead!
Dead: Good to be here. Say, you seem a little more hyped up than normal...
SFJ: I just downed 4 Starbucks DoubleShots and 7 Red Bulls! Back to you, Bob!
Dead: .....
SFJ: Whoops, just had a flashback to my time as a weather girl in Bumfuck, Idaho. Anyway, you have a very shiny belt!
Dead: Uhh, well, yes, I do...
SFJ: That is so AWESOME!
Dead: Yeah, it's pretty cool. Now weren't you going to ask my about my match this week, or maybe my continuing undefeated streak?
SFJ: Sure! Let's talk about that! It seems you have a match with... [The SFJ looks down at her notes]...D...H...L? The delivery place?
Dead: It's DH Magnusson. Maybe you should lay off the crack juice for a little while.
SFJ: Huh? I feel great! Highs in the mid to upper 70s today, with a slight chance of rain this weekend!
Dead: ...Anyway, this week I go toe to toe with one tough bastard. DH, I know you're bringing a hell of a fight to the ring this Wednesday and I look forward to stepping between those ropes and throwing down. The thing is, just like I've told everyone that's come before, I cannot and will not lose this title. I haven't been pinned, I haven't tapped out, I haven't been defeated in months. As great of a competitor that you are, there is no way in HELL that I'm letting you stop me now. DH, I'm prepared for a war out there, you'd better be prepared to be one of the casualties of it.
[The Dead turns back to the SFJ to see if she has any more questions, but she is just quietly spinning in place. The Dead shrugs and walks away.]
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