OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational, 02/23 Live! From Climax, Saskatchewan!
MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Semi-Finals
LIVE from Climax, Saskatchewan!
We are your hosts, Razz and Ross! Welcome to the Saskatchewan Civic Coliseum and Produce Market!
Razz: it’s great to be here in Saskatchewan! OOWF’s first venture out of the states, and I can’t think of any better place than right here!
Ross: We have on hell of a lineup for you tonight! Concrete TG defends the Intercontinental title against GatorBait, Hellion and Corax defend the tag titles against 3Piece Set, and Donovan Viper defends the world title against Outback Jack!
Razz: plus we got the semi finals of the OOWF invitational, Hardbody Harris squares off against the UnderDawg, and rising star Chris Alt goes against the maniacal Moosehead Jack! I can’t wait!
Ross: In our first match we have an interesting newcomer….
Razz: yeah Interesting, try smelly!
Ross: well, he does have a bit of an odor, but I’m a farm boy Razz, so the smell of manure in the hot Oklahoma sun doesn’t bother me! BOOMER SOONER!
Razz: Riiiiiiiiiight
Non-Tournament Matches
STANK vs. GORDY “Curling Stone” LaFLEUR
Stank is making his OOWF debut and, man, what’s that smell?? LaFleur is hesitant to lock up with the big man, but it really doesn’t matter, Gordy retreats to the corner, and Stank runs full speed and hits him with a Stankalanche. LaFleur collapses to the mat. Stank poses in the ring for a moment, but no one cares, Gordy is a Canadian hero in these parts. Stank gets Gordy to his feet, and peppers him with shots to the jaw. After a few jabs, Gordy seems to recover from the Stankalanche and the two start duking it out, Gordy actually gets the better of Stank, keeping him off balance with jabs and left hooks. Stank ends the fisticuffs by grabbing Gordy and hitting a thunderous belly-to-belly suplex. Gordy is down and gasping for breath. Stank hits the ropes and drops a big elbow across Gordy’s chest. Cover gets two, as Gordy is able to roll his shoulder. Stank picks Gordy up, grabs his arm and short arm clotheslines him, Stank keeps hold of Gordy’s arm though and pulls him back to his feet, only to short arm clothesline him down to the mat again. After two more times of this Gordy is out. Stank, however, is not done. He pulls Gordy to his feet again and sends him into the corner, and follows him in with a big clothesline, instead of letting Gordy fall to the mat; Stank keeps him trapped in the corner. He hammers away at the defenseless Gordy with forearms to the face. Stank finally whips Gordy to the ropes and catches him with the Stank-U. What a brutal move! For good measure Stank hits the Stankonia. With the massive Stank perched on Gordy’s chest, he has no chance at kicking out, the ref makes the academic three count.
WINNER in 3:49 – Stank
Ross: wow, if the smell doesn’t get ya, the Stankonia sure will!
Razz: yeah, this guy’s big, one of the biggest guys in OOWF, lets keep our eye on this guy.
Ross: HE’S A HOSS!
BEAST vs. FF CAPSLOCK
Test of strength to start things off. Beast easily overpowers the rookie, who manages to hold an impressive bridge for several seconds before being forced to the mat. Lateral press gets Beast a quick two. Beast sends FFC into the ropes and shrugs off an attempted shoulder tackle. Motions for the rookie to do it again. This time he staggers slightly and FFC goes to the well once more and gets a clothesline for his trouble. Beast dominates for the next minute of so with clubbing forearms and a military press. FFC punches up from his knees, but Beast blocks the Irish whip attempt and sends him to the ropes. FFC avoids the big boot and connects with a thunderous upper cut. FFC gets an impressive Irish whip/back body drop combo and a running knee to the side of Beast’s head. He proclaims how great he is and Beast kills him with a shoulder tackle to the jaw. FFC rolls around in agony and the ref checks on him. Beast gets an odd look in his eyes, and gently moves the ref out of the way and begins pounding on FFC with stiff right hands. The ref attempts to pull Beast off after exhausting the five count. Beast shoves him away and he calls for the bell. Beast knocks the ref out with a head butt, drags FFC back to his feet. and plants him with a huge power bomb just before a phalanx of officials and security escort him to the back.
WINNER by DQ in 5:29 FF Capslock
Razz: Y’know I like Beast, but he better get refocused, he should have beat Capslock, he is letting little things distract him way too much
Ross: I agree Razz, maybe he is rattled by that loss to Viper, he needs to put that behind him and refocus before he falls too far out of contention.
Razz: well, up next is one of my favorite teams, Revolution XX, Ross, I see huge things for this duo, and it looks like they are facing a new team here in the OOWF!
Ross: I agree with Revolution XX, they are exciting and athletic, lets go to the action!
REVOLUTION XX vs. THE IRON SMOLEY & NIKOLAI SMARKOFF
Ross: Interesting, The Iron Smoley is carrying two clubs that he is circling over his head, that’s quite impressive!
Razz: Better check again, Ross, Smoley doesn’t have that kind of strength, those are kids whiffle ball bats! And he is even struggling with those!
Ross: Nikolai Smarkoff looks like he has a dead animal on his head!
Razz: Nah Ross, that is a traditional Russian headpiece worn by the folks who settled the Ukraine. Or it just might be a dead animal knowing these two.
Ross: Oh goody, they are going to speak.
Smoley: In my country, I am a celebrated Olympic athlete! I won the 1972 Olympic wrestling gold! Canada boo the great Iron Smoley? Canada HACK-PTUEY
Razz: Smoley is an Olympic champion?
Ross: Does Smoley LOOK like an Olympic Champion?
Smarkoff: Show some respect and rise for the Russian National Anthem!
Ross: someone tell this guy that communism died.
Smarkoff: <starts singing in Russian>
Razz: good lord! Smarkoff’s singing makes William Hung sound like Barry White!
Finally Eric O’Mac and Coolname put and end to this travesty with matching drop kicks to Smoley and Smarkoff. The ref rings the bell and we are on! Coolname starts with the Iron Smoley, and wails away at him. Cool gets him pinned in the corner and climbs the ropes for the obligatory face 10-punch. Naturally the fans count along. Coolname jumps off of Smoley and drop kicks Smarkoff off of the apron, Smoley staggers out of the corner and EOM comes in and levels him with a spinning heel kick. EOM then catapults himself over the top rope onto the prone Smarkoff on the floor. Both men go crashing to the floor in a heap. Back inside Coolname is waiting for Smoley to get back to his feet. When he does, Carl grabs him in a bulldog headlock, runs toward the ropes, jumps up and pushes himself off the ropes dropping the Iron Smoley face first to the mat. Outside the ring, EOM waits for Smarkoff to get to his feet, then charges and springs up to Smarkoff’s shoulders for a hurracarana. Smarkoff is able to balance himself, and falls backward, dropping EOM face first across the guardrail. Smarkoff rolls back into the ring and breaks up the pin attempt by Coolname. Smarkoff clubs away at the back of Carl’s head, and sends him to the ropes, dropping him with a big boot. By now Smoley has regained his composure and pounces on Coolname and locks in the camel clutch. Smarkoff runs to the opposite side of the ring and taunts the fans. With Smarkoff distracted with the fans, EOM recovers and climbs to the top tope and connects with a perfect missile dropkick right to Smoley’s face, breaking the camel clutch. As Smoley writhes in pain, EOM helps Coolname to his feet. They wait for Smarkoff to turn around, and when he does, a double drop kick sends him tumbling over the top rope to the outside. Back inside, EOM scales the top rope, and Carl waits for the Iron Smoley to get to his feet. When he does, he eats a perfect Coolname super kick. As soon as Smoley hits the mat, EOM flies from the corner and hits a perfect frog splash. Coolname nails Smarkoff as he tries to come back in the ring. Three seconds later it is all over.
WINNERS in 5:45 Revolution XX
Razz: Wow, what teamwork! That Smoley he cracks me up!
Ross: yeah, nice win for Revolution XX, up next we got us the first ever Tornado Chairs Elimination Match.
Razz: the rules are simple, the only way to be eliminated is to be slammed across the face with a chair, brutality at it’s best!
Ross: well, I may not thing this is wrestling at it’s finest, Danny Hodge would never agree to this kind of action!
Razz: Um, who? Anyway, Niles Anderson and Morte are not Danny Hodges, they are bloodthirsty animals, Thim and Semaj have their work cut out for them.
NILES ANDERSON & MORTE vs. THIM REYNOLDS & SEMAJ B – Tornado Chairs Match
All four men bring chairs with them to the ring, and there is a chair in each of the four corners as well. The bell rings and we are underway. Morte and SB square off on one side of the ring, while Thim comes after Niles. For a moment we have a standoff, all four men are threatening each other with chairs, but no one seems to want to make the first move. Finally SB flinches Morte, oh my god, it’s ON. Morte swings the chair for SB’s head, SB ducks and tries to bring the chair down across Morte’s face, Morte is able to get his chair up at the last second and the two chairs slam into each other causing both men to drop their chairs. Thim attacks Niles, but instead of trying to hit him with the chair, Thim drops the chair and kicks Niles in the midsection and tries for a DDT on the chair. Niles quickly frees himself from that and slips out of the ring. Inside Morte and SB are rolling around the ring trying to kill each other. Niles runs around the ring and reaches in and pulls SB off of Morte, pulling him out of the ring and slamming him to the floor. Thim also comes out of the ring, and races around to Morte trying to save him from the attack; before he can get there Morte cuts him off with a baseball slide. Now all four men are battling outside the ring. Niles slams SB face first into the ring post; splitting SB’s head wide open. On the other side, Morte DDT’s Thim on the floor then hits him with a springboard moonsault from the apron to the floor. Niles has SB back on his feet and rams him back first against the ring post. With SB propped against the ring post, Niles swings the chair at SB’s face. At the last second SB moves and the chair warps itself on the post. Morte charges over and takes SB off his feet with a spear. With SB down, Morte wedges his leg in the steel barrier, SB is trapped, Morte lifts a chair high in the air, but instead of bringing it down across SB’s face, Morte wears out SB’s leg, slamming the chair across his knee repeatedly. Niles stops Morte for a moment and tells him that he has to hit him across the face. Morte turns around to deliver the finishing face shot, but SB has freed himself, SB explodes upward with a European uppercut that takes Morte off his feet. Niles turns around and Thim swings a chair wildly, just missing Niles face. Niles drops to his knees and low blows Thim. Morte is down, and at SB’s mercy, SB raises the chair high above his head, before he can bring it down, Niles comes over and drop kicks the chair back into SB’s face, slamming it into SB’s head, and deepening the gash on his head. The ref calls for the bell “SEMAJ B HAS BEEN ELIMINATED” SB is furious, Niles and Morte are back on their feet, Niles turns around and once again Thim is there with a chair, he swings the chair, Niles ducks, and the chair slams an unsuspecting Morte right in the face. “MORTE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED” Morte collapses to the floor. Niles looks concerned and slips back into the ring. Thim follows and the two brawl for a few minutes. Thim catches Niles in an airplane spin, as they are spinning Niles’ foot catches the ref and knocks him down. Thim drops Niles, takes a second to regain his composure and grabs a chair waiting for Niles to get to his feet. When Niles gets up, Thim slams him across the face with a chair busting Niles wide open. The match should be over, but the ref didn’t see anything! Thim goes over to the ref and tries to wake him up. Meanwhile, Moosehead Jack and Endo run to the ring and revive Niles and hand him a chair. Niles shakily gets to his feet. The ref is back up, as Thim turns to face, what he thought was a fallen Niles; Niles slams the chair across Thim’s face, the ref calls for the bell.
WINNERS in 19:18 Niles Anderson & Morte
As soon as the bell rings, Moosehead Jack hits the ring, Endo runs around the ring and revives Morte and the two begin to savage SB. Inside, MHJ sets Thim up for a pile driver, and Niles comes off the top to make it a spike pile driver. Thim is down, so the Establishment turns to SB, MHJ reaches under the ring and grabs a length of chain, first he wraps it around his fist and pounds away at Thim’s face until he is a bloody mess, then Morte and Niles slam SB back first against the ring post and hold him upright. Moose wraps the chain around SB’s throat from inside the ring and pulls, keeping SB standing upright and choking him out with the chain. Morte lands some brutal kicks to SB’s midsection, Niles lies on the floor and applies the Precision Incision while SB is standing, and Endo slaps the claw on a helpless SB. After a few seconds of this, Niles and Endo break their holds, and Morte picks up a chair and swings with all his might sandwiching SB’s head between the post and the chair. MHJ lets go, and SB falls to the floor face first. FINALLY the rest of the AYUFF storm the ring and chase the Establishment away. Paramedics immediately come to SB and Thim’s aid.
Ross: NOW WAS THAT CALLED FOR? Those Establishment animals have to be stopped, Razz, they hit a defenseless man in the face with a steel chair! That’s just not right; they are a bunch of heartless SOB’s!
Razz: Well, we all hope Semaj is ok, he’s a tough guy though, I’m sure he will be ok.
Ross: Razz, it was a chair across the face, for God’s sake!
Razz: yeah, I know. One time Bam Bam Bigelow and I crashed through the ring.
Ross: So?
Razz: So our next match is another one that promises some ultra-violence. Adrenaline and Williams are ruthless, and only figure to get worse if they are somehow in cahoots with the Establishment, what’s up with that Ross?
Ross: I have no idea, but I’ll tell you this, whatever it is, I don’t like it. The Establishment is nothing but evil, and these two being anywhere near them, only makes things worse.
Razz: Seems like Moosehead Jack has convinced Johnny to put a hurtin’ on Blade, lets see if he can get the job done!
JOHNNY ADRENALINE & LD WILLIAMS vs. BLADE & JW WESTGAARD
JWW and LDW start things off, They lock up at first, then JWW just breaks the lock up and starts wailing away at LDW, quickly backing him into the corner, where he traps him and just pummels LDW until LDW slumps to the mat. Adrenaline hops off the apron and pulls LDW out of the ring where the two regroup. LDW gets back in the ring and JWW charges; LDW sidesteps him and pushes him to the ropes, when he comes back, LDW locks on a sleeper. JWW is trapped for about a second, then he slips out of it, goes behind LDW and lifts him for an atomic drop, LDW falls to the mat, and JWW bounds off the ropes and drops a big flying elbow across LDW’s sternum. Cover gets one. JWW tags in Blade, who comes in over the top rope, as soon as LDW gets to his feet, Blade sweeps his leg, then jumps and drops a spinning leg drop. Another cover, this time for two. Using the ropes, LDW gets back to his feet, Blade grabs LDW for a DDT, but Johnny runs down the apron and kills Blade with a clothesline. LDW is able to make the tag, and Johnny comes in and immediately puts the boots to Blade. He pauses for a moment to flip JWW off. JWW storms into the ring and after JA, Adrenaline moves and when JWW hits the ropes, LDW pulls them down and JWW tumbles out to the floor. Outside LDW stomps away at JWW and levels him with a DDT to the concrete floor. Back inside, Johnny picks up Blade and power bombs him, then tags LDW back in. Williams comes in and locks on the STF. Blade is in agony, but will not give up. Johnny comes in and kicks Blade in the face a few times. LDW breaks the hold, as Johnny is being escorted out of the ring by the ref, Blade just gets to his feet, Williams is about to level him with a clothesline, when a bloody JWW comes out of nowhere and catches LDW with a crosscheck. The ref turns and sees LDW down, JWW runs toward Adrenaline and knocks him off the apron with a high knee. Inside, Blade waits for LDW to get to his knees, when he does he nails him with several Tajiri kicks to the head. With LDW down on the mat, Blade climbs the ropes and hits perfect flying knee drop, coming down hard across LDW’s sternum. Blade picks up Williams and nails a perfect Tiger Driver, then heads to the ropes again. LDW is able to barely kick out at two. Outside the ring, JWW is chasing a now bloody Johnny Adrenaline around the ring, Johnny is able to stay well ahead of JWW, and as they go by the Ugandan Announce Table, JA grabs Westgaard’s hockey stick, when Westgaard comes around the corner, Adrenaline brings the stick down right between Westgaard’s eyes. JWW falls to the floor face first. Johnny looks up and Blade is climbing the ropes for another flying knee drop on a prone LDW. Adrenaline slides in the ropes and knocks Blade off balance, Blade falls crotch first on the corner. Without hesitation, Adrenaline hits a top rope Adrenaline Rush. Blade is done. Johnny gets LDW to his feet, and Williams quickly falls on Blade, the ref counts three.
WINNERS in 14:04 Johnny Adrenaline and LD Williams
After the match, Johnny slumps in the corner and holds his head in his hands, no doubt having flashbacks of the Antoine Cutter tragedy. Williams consoles him, then, Blade begins to stir, and starts to get to his feet. Johnny has a huge smile on his face, which turns into an evil grin. Johnny flies out of the corner and attacks Blade again, leveling him with punches and kicks. LDW holds Blade from behind and Johnny slaps him and taunts him. Adrenaline sets Blade up for another Adrenaline Rush, when Westgaard makes it back into the ring with a chair and chases the two away.
Ross: Just sick, those two are animals, it is no wonder they want to hang out with the Establishment, they are just as sick and depraved as anyone in that group
Razz: it’s a good thing Westgaard got back into the ring when he did or they very well might have broken Blade’s neck. Ok, on to the tournament matches!
Ross: and boy do we have two good ones tonight, our first one matches the #1 FACE IN THE OOWF Hardbody Harris, against Ministry member, the UnderDawg.
Razz: This one should be a great match, UD has the height and weight advantage, but Harris is one of the most gifted athletes in OOWF.
Ross: No doubt about it lets go to the action!
Tournament Matches – All Matches 60-Minute Time Limit
HARDBODY HARRIS vs. UNDERDAWG
After lengthy entrances by both men, we are finally ready for the match to start. Harris and Dawg eye each other and circle the ring. Harris flinches Dawg and Dawg jumps, Harris and the fans get a big laugh out of this, Dawg doesn’t find it quite so amusing. When Harris turns back around to face him, he eats a thunderous left right to the mouth. Harris and Dawg go at it tooth and nail, with neither man getting much of an advantage. Harris tries several quick pin attempts, and stick and move type maneuvers trying to keep the big man off balance. Harris nearly gets a pin when he reverses an attempted Last Ride into a sunset flip, but Dawg was able to get the shoulder up at two. Dawg spends most of the time working over Harris’ lower back. Dawg nearly drew the DQ when he had Harris bent backward around the ring post outside the ring. Dawg was on the inside pulling back on Harris’ legs and head, the small of Harris back was bent awkwardly around the steel post. UD was able to follow up the punishment with a thunderous superplex, for a two count. Harris finally fought back, and reversed a UD whip a kick to the midsection, followed by a fameasser got a two count. When UD got to his feet, Harris hit a TBEIL! But was in too much pain to capitalize right away, but the time he was able to crawl across the ring and drape an arm across Dawg’s chest, UD was able to kick out at two. The action remained intense and back and forth until after 50 minutes of action, both men are exhausted. Harris and Dawg are both to their feet. A time limit draw here would make the Mooshead Jack – Chris Alt match the championship match. The two lock up, Harris grabs UD in a side headlock, Dawg easily pushes him off to the ropes, Harris comes back, Dawg tries a clothesline, HH ducks and pops up behind Dawg and locks on a sleeper hold! Dawg staggers around the ring for a moment, then drops to one knee. The ref is checking his arm; it drops once, twice, but not a third time. Dawg musters all his strength and pushes himself backward into the corner sandwiching Harris between 300 pounds of Dawg and the corner. UD falls forward out of the corner to his knees; Harris recovers quickly and climbs to the top rope. Dawg gets back to his feet and Harris leaps…and Dawg catches him by the throat. UD lifts HH and slams him to the canvas with a thunderous choke slam. Fifty-five minutes gone and both men are prone on the mat. UD is up first he lifts HH to his feet then levels him with a clothesline. Cover gets two, as Harris is just able to roll the shoulder. UD lifts Harris, kicks him in the gut and sets him up for a Last Ride Power bomb! HH reverses it in midair, lands behind UD, spins him around and tries for a TBEIL! UD reverses it again, and lifts HH up and drops him with a fireplug pile driver! It has to be over! Dawg covers, HARRIS KICKS OUT AT TWO. UD gets to his feet, 2 minutes remaining. Dawg lifts Harris to his feet, Harris responds with lefts and rights, almost knocking the big man down, Harris hits the ropes for the finishing shot, and eats a UD boot! Dawg grabs Harris, picks him up to his feet, grabs him by the throat, one huge thunderous choke slams later, and Dawg covers, hooks the leg hard, and the ref counts three.
WINNER in 59:37 UnderDawg
Ross: That was a classic! THAT is what OOWF action is all about!
Razz: I’m still trying to catch my breath from that one! What a match! UnderDawg is off to the finals where he will face the winner of the next match.
Ross: I think this match is going to be brutal, it takes a lot to stop Moosehead Jack, but this kid Chris Alt has what it takes.
Razz: well he better, you don’t bring anything but you’re a game if you want to beat Moosehead Jack.
CHRIS ALT vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK
Jack comes to the ring first to the hearty boos of the crowd. Alt makes his way to the ring next to crazy cheers. Alt is still sporting the wounds from Niles attack earlier this week; Alt has a large band-aid across his forehead, no doubt concealing numerous stitches from Niles’ chair shots. It takes Moose about a second to attack, going right for the bandage on Alt’s head. MHJ pummels Alt with lefts and rights to the forehead, backs him in the corner and tears at the bandage trying to rip the stitches loose. Alt is able to reverse Jack in the corner and now he starts pounding away at Jack. Alt whips Jack to the opposite corner and follows him in with a big stinger splash, Jack staggers out of the corner and Alt hits a running enzuguri. Jack falls to the mat, Alt springs off the opposite ropes with a springboard moonsault, cover, Jack kicks out at two. Jack gets back to his feet and is immediately met with an Alt dropkick to the face. Jack tumbles over the top rope to the floor. Alt waits for Jack to get to his feet, then hits him with a suicide dive between the ropes. Jack sprawls across the floor. Alt gets to his feet; the fans are eating this up. Alt gets on the apron and waits for Jack to get to his feet, once up, Alt runs off the apron and tries for a hurracarana, Jack catches him in mid move and turns it into a power bomb on the concrete floor. Alt hits the floor with a sickening thud. Jack rolls back into the ring to break the count. Jack comes back to the outside and mounts Alt and pounds away at his forehead, tearing the bandage off his head, and ripping at his stitches until Alt’s face is a mask of blood. Jack rolls Alt back into the ring and covers him, Alt is able to roll the shoulder at two. Jack spends the next few minutes brutally beating Alt, but cannot finish him off. Jack sets up Alt for a pile driver, but Alt is able to power out of it and back drop Jack over the top rope. Jack tumbles out of the ring to the floor. Alt slowly follows him out. Once outside Alt picks Jack up and slams him on the floor, then climbs to the apron and drops a knee right to Jack’s sternum. Alt rolls back in and the ref starts his count. At seven Jack is back to his feet, Alt slides out of the ring and taunts Jack, Jack gives chase, but Alt drop toe holds Jack into the ring post. Jack’s skull meets metal in a sickening thud. Jack has been knocked goofy and is pouring blood. Alt rolls back into the ring, too exhausted to get to his feet. The ref starts the count; somehow Jack is able to get back into the ring at nine, just avoiding a count out. Now it is Alt’s turn to work over Jack. Alt tries everything, but can’t keep Jack down. As we pass the 45-minute mark, Alt hits the Tiger Driver on Jack, cover, 1,2..Jack is just able to get his foot on the ropes. Jack staggers to his feet, as soon as he gets up, Alt super kicks him to the floor. Alt goes outside and slams Jack on the Ecuadorian Announce Table. Alt slides back in the ring and scales the ropes. CORCKSCREW MOONSAULT to the outside! But at the last second Jack moves! Alt slams through the table and into the floor. Jack recovers first, picks up Alt and DDT’s him on the concrete floor. Alt is out. Jack rolls him back into the ring and goes to cover him, then gets a sadistic grin on his face. Jack rolls the prone Alt on his side, pins the arm behind his back, and nails him with a heart punch. Alt’s body twitches; it looks like he is out. Instead of going for the cover, Jack hits another heart punch, then another. Alt’s body goes limp, and blood begins to run from his mouth. Jack is screaming, “GIVE UP, GIVE UP DAMMIT!” Jack hits another heart punch, the ref is telling Jack to end the match, when Carl Coolname comes to the ring and throws in the towel for his friend and former partner.
WINNER in 53:29 Moosehead Jack
After the match, Niles hits the ring to congratulate Jack, of course he has a chair, before Niles can do anything, Thim Reynolds hits the ring also with a chair, he swings for Niles, Niles ducks. By now, Coolname had gotten Alt to his feet to get him out of the ring. Thim’s wild chair swing slams right across Alt’s face, knocking him backwards out of the ring. Thim looks momentarily stunned, taking advantage of this, Niles slams the chair down across Thim’s head, knocking him cold, MHJ clotheslines Coolname out of the ring. Niles and Moose set up Thim for a spike pile driver when SB hits the ring, with another chair, and chases them off. EMT’s rush to ringside to check on Alt, who has to be taken to the back on a stretcher.
Ross: MAH GAWD! There again, The Establishment had to ruin what was a great match! These guys have no conscience!
Razz: Yeah, Alt put up a helluva fight, I wonder if he could have fought out of that if Coolname hadn’t thrown in the towel?
Ross: well, Razz, I am not sure, Alt was in a lot of trouble there at the end, he has a ton of heart, and all the ability in the world. I am not sure Coolname should have done what he did, but at least Alt will be able to fight another day.
Razz: Yeah, Alt will get his shots, no doubt about that. So, it’s the UnderDawg vs. Moosehead Jack in the finals!
Ross: Wow, we better have paramedics on standby for that one, that will be one of the most grueling physical matches I have ever seen. Those two will certainly take each other to hell and back.
Non-Tournament Matches
MARK VANDER & GIMMICKMAN vs. THE DRAGONS
BD and GM lock up aggressively. BD forced into the corner, but manages to spin along the ropes and reverse GM into the turnbuckles. Clean break and they lock up again. BD snatches a headlock, but GM shoves him off into the ropes. They run the ropes and BD falls victim to a huge hip toss. GM presses the advantage eventually settling on a stalling vertical suplex/float over cover combo for a two count. MV tagged in and he goes to work on BD with rights and lefts. Flying forearm and the crowd is solidly behind MV. MV attempts to stop BD from tagging, but catches a stiff back elbow to the jaw and a hard clothesline. SD in and he immediately hits a jawbreaker on the recovering MV. SD gets suplex happy and hits three snap supplies before slamming MV face first with a sit out front suplex. Grinds arm into the jaw and gets a two count. Tag to BD who immediately hits a knee to the jaw and a reverse stunner for another long two. BD dominates MV for a lengthy stretch exhausting his repertoire of chops, knee thrusts, and overhead throws, finally settling on a modified side suplex with a pin-fall. This time GM has to make the save. SD gets in his face about it and the ref attends to GM whilst the Dragon’s do a little double teaming culminating with a gorilla press that drops MV jaw first on SD’s knee. Ref admonishes the Dragons and BD tags out. SD bullies MV with slaps and taunts. MV hits a quick roll up out of nowhere for the two. SD takes him down with an Edge-O-Matic but gets cocky and taunts the crowd. Turns and MV fights back to his feet, reserves out of a shoulder high slam into a reverse DDT and makes the slow tag to GM. GM is the proverbial house of fire and kills the Dragons with clotheslines, back body drops, and a huge belly-to-belly suplex on BD. GM gets a two and the two power houses of their respective teams slug it out. SD interrupts but gets blindsided by MV and knocked out the ring. GM tosses BD as well, and then in an impressive show of teamwork, back body drops MV over the top onto the two Dragons. MV helps BD back into the ring and GM goes to work on BD. SD meanwhile blindsides MV and reminiscent of the previous time these two were matched up, kills MV with an Omen Driver on the outside. GM reverses a hurricarrana attempt into the SPARTAN PLUNGE~!!! One, two, SD pulls BD leg onto the bottom rope. The ref points this out to GM then attends to BD just long enough for SD to smash his trusty cinder block over GM’s head. He throws it out the ring just as the ref warns him to get back to his corner. GM struggles to his feet and walks into a DKO DROP~!!! Three seconds later and the Dragon’s break their losing streak.
WINNERS in 21:21 The Dragons
Razz: I am not sure what to think of the Dragons anymore. They are one of the more gifted teams in the OOWF; Blackdragon seems to want to play things straight, but that SoulDragon seems hell-bent on hurting people.
Ross: They won this match, but they better get on the same page soon, or they are going to see some real problems soon
Razz: Speaking of problems, how bout the two we got next? Wow. Attitude Adjuster and Endo are both on their own little trip.
Ross: both these men are a little touched in the head, but I am always wary of Endo, there is something just not right about that boy.
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. ENDO
Attitude Adjuster comes to the ring with a grocery bag. He takes out a couple oranges, a grapefruit, two peaches, an apricot, cherries, a kiwi, some Jell-O and a Pyrex bowl.
AA: Endo! Endo! I know you’re watching! Let me remind you what I can do to your head!
AA puts the claw on each piece of produce, crushing each and recreating the fruit Jell-O salad my aunt makes each Thanksgiving. Carlito Cool, sitting ringside because he knows who really has the best wrestlers in the world, tosses his apple to AA. AA crushes it, adds it to the mix and returns to the mic.
AA: My claw is the most powerful finishing hold in the entire OOWF. It’s a registered lethal weapon in 14 countries. Endo, if you’re smart, just stay in the back so I don’t have to bust you open and add your blood to this Jell-O salad. Ref, start the count!
The ref turns toward the entryway and begins the count. But at seven, Endo slides into the ring from the backside. He came through the crowd! AA, soaking in his apparent victory, turns to pose to the fans in the back…and walks right into the claw of Endo!
Endo: “EEEYYYOWWAAAAWWWAAUUU”
AA: “AHHAAAHHWWWWWWAAAUUUU”
AA’s down to one knee, blood starting to flow from his head. This could be over quick. AA’s wobbling, but uppernuts Endo. Endo doesn’t break the hold, but AA gets back to his feet…and slaps the claw on Endo!!!
Endo: “EEEYYYOWWAAAAWWWAAUUU”
AA: “AHHAAAHHWWWWWWAAAUUUU”
Both men are bleeding now. They stagger to the ropes and somersault to the floor…but neither releases the hold! Neither man will give in! Surprisingly they’re both on their feet and staggering toward the back, leaving a trail of blood behind them. The ref has no choice but to count out both men.
WINNER – Double Count out in 4:21
Ross: Well, that didn’t settle anything, at all.
Razz: no, no it didn’t. I have a feeling these two are going to meet again.
Ross: Speaking of which, up next we have Canadian Dragon and Microplay in their final match of a best of three series.
Razz: Yeah Ross, Microplay won the first match, a first blood match, then Dragon evened the score by winning a submission match last week. This one is a Last Man Standing match, this should be brutal.
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. MICROPLAY – Last Man Standing Match
Last Man Standing match, Canadian Dragon vs. Microplay. Big pops for both of the Canadian wrestlers. Canadian Dragon is wearing his signature long sleeved tee and matching white mask tonight. Microplay gets a quick start with a series of punches, but Dragon counters with a leg sweep. Micro bails and grabs a chair, but Dragon hits Micro with a spinning heel kick. Dragon grabs the chair and leg drops it on Micro's face. Out to the floor, where Dragon gets gut-wrenched onto a pair of pallets. And a garbage can. And onto the stairs. Micro searches under the ring and finds a barbed wire covered 2x4. The ref gets in his way, so Dragon steals it and delivers some shots with it. Ouch. Dragon goes to lock on the Dragon sleeper, but Micro manages to block it and hit a DDT on to the bat. Dragon's mask is ripped open, and Micro takes the opening and gives Dragon another DDT onto the bat. And for the first time in OOWF history, a masked wrestler has a crimson mask! Micro puts Dragon on the Canadian announce table, but his pile driver attempt is reversed, sending Micro through the American announce table! Dragon back into the ring as the ref starts his first 10 count, but Micro is back up at 7. Back in the ring, and Dragon goes to town with a series of kicks to Microplay. Dragon goes for a tiger driver but Microplay reverses it. Microplay goes for one of his own, but Dragon blocks that and goes for an un-prettier. Microplay blocks that and hits a Canadian Destroyer! Huge holy shit chants from the crowd on that one as Dragon looks to be dead. The ref starts the count but Dragon is up at 9. Micro looks at the ref in disgust and pounds Dragon into a front suplex onto the top rope. He goes for a tiger driver from the top, but Dragon counters that with a hurricarana. Both men are down and the ref starts to count again. He gets to 8 before both men are up. Dragon's holding onto the ropes and Microplay charges and takes both men to the outside with a clothesline. Micro Irish whips Dragon into the side of the ring, and then gives him a hip toss onto the stairs. He then goes under the ring, and pulls out a table. Micro picks up Dragon and goes for another gut-wrench, but Dragon flips out and nails a super kick. Microplay lands on the table. Dragon climbs the guardrail and hits a modified Dragonsault sending both men through the table! The ref starts to count, but neither man can answer the call and the match ends in a draw at 19:06.
WINNER – No Contest in 19:06
The crowd is upset, as officials are out to attend to both men. As a replay is shown Moosehead Jack is out with a mic.
Moose: "You know, the OOWF is all about giving the fans what they want, for some reason...and what the fans want is a winner. And Since the Establishment hates both of you stupid Canucks; you two will have one more match at OOWF's Holiday Hell PPV! Oh, but not just any match...you see at it'll be Microplay vs. Canadian Dragon...in a Hell In A Cell match, I hope you two kill each other, and so does management!"
Ross: wow, a hell in the cell match! That will be insane!
Razz: I was never in one of those, and I don’t want to be. Let me tell you Ross, I hope these two are ready for hell; cause there ain’t no give in the cell.
Ross: No doubt Razz, next we have another feud that won’t seem to end anytime soon, Hellion and Corax and 3Piece Set, these two teams hate each other
Razz: 3Piece set are devious as hell, but Hellion and Corax are no angels either! This one is all about the tag gold, and about vengeance!
HELLION & CORAX vs. 3PIECE SET
It’s a rematch from last week, and the OOWF tag team titles are again on the line. Cole and Ax Man mimic last week’s CON-CHAIR-TO at Hellion, but H&C mock 3PS with the title belts. These two teams just don’t like each other. It’s reaching Rock n Roll Express/Midnight Express levels! (Well, OK, maybe not, but at least it’s more entertaining than The Smoking Gunns and the Godwinns.)
We’re two minutes into the match and all four men are in the ring. Hellion topples Cole over the turnbuckle to the floor, then joins Corax for some nifty double-teaming. Ax-Man powders out, but the champs hit double baseball slides on Cole and Ax and continue the attack out of the ring. Eventually Cole and Ax escape and walk up the ramp to the back. It looks like they’re calling it quits! H&C make the classic mistake of turning their backs, and Cole and Ax race back into the ring for a devious heel beat down.
For those of you experiencing déjà vu, you’re right. It’s like watching Luger vs. Flair for the 20th time. It’s always the same match but for a slightly different ending! So let’s get there, shall we?
Hellion makes the hot tag to Corax, and Corax is a LOGER SUR LE FEU! Cole goes down; Ax-Man goes down, Cole down on the floor, Ax down, Hellion on the top rope and hurricarana on Cole on the floor. The ref breaks up Cole and Hellion on the floor, pushing Cole back to his corner. Corax with the Shining Wizard on Ax-Man! Hellion slides in a pair of chairs. It’s payback time! CON-CHAIR-TO on Ax-Man. Chairs are slid out of the ring, the ref turns to find Corax covering Ax-Man. It’s over!
WINNERS in 17:48 Hellion & Corax
Razz: well sweet, sweet revenge, looks like 3Piece Set got a taste of their own medicine!
Ross: They sure did Razz, but I have a feeling this doesn’t settle a damn thing! These two are going to be at each other’s throats for a long time to come.
Razz: Up next we got a match, well a match between two guys that actually respect each other, that doesn’t happen too often here in OOWF!
Ross: This one should be another classic, last week I said that I think Concrete is one of the toughest guys here in OOWF, and it is going to take a big effort to beat him, but if anyone can do it, Gator just might be the man!
CONCRETE TG vs. GATORBAIT
The two shake hands to begin, then lock up. Even exchange of head locks, hammerlocks, and reversals ends when GB hits a quick single leg pick for a one count. CTG presses him off and scissors his leg and locks in a modified ankle lock. GB gets the ropes and CTG breaks. Next round of wrestling goodness ends after a series of go-behinds ends with an elbow to CTG’s jaw and a reverse drop kick. GB takes control ending his offensive rally with an Irish whip/Arn Anderson spine buster combo that gets a 2. Measures CTG and gets in a few kicks to the gut before hitting an Oklahoma roll for another two. Hard Irish whip into the corner and CTG falls to the mat. GB drops a couple of knees to the back then tries a surf board-like maneuver. CTG manages to reverse out of it into a 2 count. CTG ducks a clothesline and hits the People’s DDT for another quick two. GB regains the advantage with a toe trip and a baseball slide that sends CTG to the outside. A little brawling on the floor ends favorably for GB as he rams CTG’s back into the apron. Back in the ring and GB hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Modified camel clutch and CTG feeds off the crowd and fights out of it. GB rudely takes him back down with by the head. GB hits about four leg drops and still only gets a two count. If GB were Hogan, CTG would be out until next year. CTG battles back after Hellion whiffs on a drop kick. Reversal sequence ends badly for CTG and he lands high and tight following a GB back suplex. GB says that’s it and goes up top. DIVE BOMB~!!! Fails to connect and both stay down until 8. GB recovers quicker but two attempts at the CHOMP~!!! are thwarted and he simply Irish whips CTG into the corner. Some hard chops follow and GB whips CTG to the opposite corner. Attempts a Stinger Splash, but CTG moves, hooks a half nelson, rolls back, but instead of a pinning predicament, continues with the roll through and finishes GB off with a modified CEMENT MIXER~!!!
WINNER in 17:01 Concrete TG
Razz: that was a great match! Gator gave it his all, but just came up a little short.
Ross: I have a feeling there will be more chances to come for GatorBait. Now, lets see if his partner can fare any better and unseat the world champion Donovan Viper
Razz: Donnie Viper is a dangerous man, he is trying to cement his spot as a dominant OOWF champion, he is determined and sneaky, that makes him tough to beat.
DONOVAN VIPER vs. OUTBACK JACK
The crowd is hot into this one, and I think Viper can thank the Ministry for his problems. Listen to those chants: “Hoooommmmmee-oooohhhhh. Hoooommmmmee-oooohhhhh. Hoooommmmmee-oooohhhhh.” And check this out: Jack is passing out T-shirts from the OOWF ShopZone. One a beautiful green shirt, it reads, “Viper is a homo.” Well, that’s not very nice. Great marketing concept, but not very nice.
Jack hands Viper a shirt. Viper looks at it and goes berzerk. He’s ripping up the shirt! That’s costing us profits, champ! In a rage, Viper chokes Jack with the shirt and I guess this is as best place as any to start the match. Viper dominates the first five minutes or so, alternating between devastating offense and screaming at Jack and the fans, who continue to chant “Homo.” Jack finally powers back to the crowd’s delight, and it’s a give-and-take WORKRATE SPECIAL! Jack gains control and connects with the Boomerang! But Viper stumbles into the referee and all three men are down!
Wait! What’s this? Coming down the ramp, it’s Beast! And he has a power saw! Viper’s power saw! Beast is up on the apron! Viper is up first, whips Jack into the ropes, Jack with the reversal, Viper spots Beast and the power saw, and with his last ounce of energy double reverses Jack directly toward Beast. Beast can’t stop his momentum and nails Jack in the head with the power saw. There was more than home renovation on Beast’s mind! Beast is furious, but instead of attacking Viper he starts randomly threatening officials at ringside with the power saw! The ref comes to as Beast is threatening the timekeeper. Viper crawls over to the unconscious Jack, and the ref, seeing nothing, hits the three count for Viper!
WINNER in 16:21 Donovan Viper
Ross: I just don’t know what to say about that one. Viper was lucky to hold on to his title, but what was Beast thinking?
Razz: Ross, when you hate someone as much as Beast seems to hate Viper, you kind of loose any sense of focus. Beast is hell bent on getting Viper and will stop at nothing to get even with him.
Ross: That’s all for tonight! Thanks for tuning in and watching LIVE OOWF! Action! For Razz, I am Ross, GOODNIGHT!
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