OOWF Territorial Beatings IV PPV
Live! From Torshavn, Faroe Islands
<Before we get started GM the Rick’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. He gets a nice ovation from the crowd, then holds his hand up for quiet. After the crowd settles down, he begins to speak.>
GMtR: You know when I took the job as GM, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Now here we are almost four years later. <Rick pauses for the pop> I can’t say it was all easy, when you have so many conflicting opinions, agendas and attitudes, keeping everyone even remotely happy is a task of herculean proportions. This past year, as you all remember, we were involved in a bloody, violent Civil War. I am not proud that that war took place on my watch, but it is what it is.
Now, a few weeks ago, you may recall me talking to Sterling Glaw about restarting the PHWF as an associate fed for the OOWF. Well, it looks like that plan is gaining steam, and they need someone down there to help Nate Corbitt run things, organize the tournaments for the titles and things like that. <GM the Rick pauses for a moment as “PLEASE DON’T GO” chants break out, he acknowledges the chants with a wave, then speaks again> I have decided to take the position – on a temporary basis. I think it will be a good way to clear my head and detach myself from some of the things going on here. After a few months, I can come back with a clear head and take the reigns once again.
Now, in my absence, the OOWF Board of Directors, in their infinite wisdom, has chosen my successor. Now, I can’t say I agree with their decision, after all, helped lead the OOWF into the war last year, but regardless of what I think, the Board of Directors has chosen………..ERIC O’MAC to lead the OOWF as General Manager for the foreseeable future.
<A picture of Eric O’Mac is flashed on the OOTron and gets a mixed reaction from the crowd>
From what I understand, GM Eric will be here at MidWeek Mayhem to inaugurate his term as General Manager, but for now, I still run the show, so let’s……….
<Before GM the Rick can finish,
Rawkfist by Thousand Foot Crutch plays and Johnny Icepick makes his way to the ring, grabs the mic from GM the Rick and speaks>
JI: So…..you are gonna be the new GM in town huh. I have already signed with the PHWF, but to be honest, that one horse fed is beneath me. I already hold a win over Beer Baron, I damn well SHOULD be here competing in the OOWF, and I WOULD be if people like you, and your cowardly world champion weren’t afraid of me.
<GM the Rick looks amused and gives Johnny the “oh really?” look>
JI: So, I will do my time in the PHWF, but I am going to do YOU two favors first. First, I am going to save you the trouble of organizing a world title tournament. You can just go dig up that PHWF title from wherever it is and hand it to me right now, since I am CLEARLY the best thing going in the PHWF. And second, to prove my worth, I am challenging any OOWF wrestler who has the balls to face me, to come to this ring RIGHT NOW so I can prove that not only do I BELONG in the OOWF, but I will DOMINATE the OOWF. So let’s go, get someone out here NOW!
<GM the Rick shrugs his shoulders and nods to the back. After a few seconds no one comes out, but the large man that has been sitting ringside the last few weeks hops the guard rail and slides into the ring. He spins Icepick around and DROPS him with a straight right to the face. The man picks him up and sends him to the ropes and connects with a boot to the face, then grabs Icepick before he can fall and KILLS him with a package pile driver. He pulls Icepick to his knees and tilts his head back and repeatedly hammers him with punches to the face until Icepick is a bloody mess. He lets Icepick fall to the mat, then heads to the corner, and with his back to the referee, he pulls out a razor blade and repeatedly cuts himself and runs maniacally around the ring, leaving blood everywhere. Finally he stops in the corner and stands staring at Icepick as he struggles to his feet. The mysterious man repeatedly chops his hand getting the crowd jazzed for what is going to happen. As Icepick stands up, he charges and connects with a BRUTAL chop to Icepick’s throat! Icepick does a 180 and SLAMS into the mat, grabbing his throat and twitching on the mat. The fans cheer the stranger as he falls across Icepick; the referee hits the mat, one, two, three! This one is over!
WINNER in 1:29……….the official has to ask the referee to approach him to get a name, the referee cautiously approaches and nods when he hears it and then tells the ring announcer…..WINNER in 1:29 ANDERS DENIAL!
The ring clears and paramedics come in and stretcher Icepick out. Denial heads back to the front row, hops the guard rail and takes his seat amid the nervous fans. GM the Rick is about to head to the back when he suddenly seems to remember something. Oh yes, our special attraction match tonight. Just so it is perfectly clear to both camps in the back, I have heard NOTHING but complaining about this match, so I am going to make it as fair a playing field as possible. As of right now, Selena and Shawn will come to the ring, ALONE. That’s right, no Poe, no DEA, no nothing. Now, let’s get this started.
SELENA GOMEZ vs. SHAWN JOHNSONThe crowd buzzes in anticipation because they have no idea what we're gonna get here. Due to the stipulations by GM the Rick regarding this match, anyone but the competitors will be banned from ringside. Let's go to the ring for our Very Special Guest Ring Announcer...Michael Buffer!
**Ding Ding**
MB: Ladies and Gentlemen it's time for tonight's Special Challenge Match between America's Sweetheart Shawn Johnson and Disney's Teen Queen Selena Gomez....
**crowd cheers**
MB: At this time, I'd like to introduce to you tonight's special guest enforcer...From Los Angeles, California, he's a lawyer and he's also a National Football League Referee...Ladies and Gentlemen...welcome ED...”BIG GUUUUUUUNS” HOC-uli....Hoculi...
**Ed Hoculi is in full ref garb and gives everyone 2 free tickets to the gun show. The crowd loves it; apparently they're Broncos fans. Whatever.**
MB: And now LIVE from The Faroe Island Forum in Torshavn, it is TIME to introduce the principals for this match, sponsored by Clearasil. And now...for the dozens in attendance, and the MILLIONS watching around the globe on Pay-Per-View....Ladies and Gentlemen...LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMBBLLLLLLLLLLLLE.....
**crowd goes batshit**
MB: Introducing first, fighting out of the red corner...She stands 4'10” tall, and weighed in this morning at 91 lbs...From West Des Moines, Iowa...She'll be the second Olympic Gold Medalist ever to grace a wrestling ring, and she is also the 2009 Dancing With the Stars Champion...and also America's Sweetheart...Ladies and Gentlemen...”The Pride of Iowa” Shawn Johnson...Johnson....”Olympic Fanfare and Theme” fires up and Shawn Johnson, wearing a full boxing robe, shadowboxes her way into the ring to a nice ovation as she climbs through the ropes. She does a little posing before ditching the rope and climbing a turnbuckle, leaping off with a sweet moonsault complete with stuck landing!
MB: And introducing now...fighting out of the blue corner...She stands 5'8” tall, and weighed in this morning at 128 lbs...From Grand Prairie, Texas...star of Disney's “Wizards of Waverly Place” and start of stage and screen alike...Ladies and Gentlemen...Selena “The Disney Queen-a” GO-mez....Gomez...”Tell Me Something” blasts over the PA and Selena Gomez appears at the top of the ramp with a robe as well; but she spends an extra bit of time posing for her adoring/swooning fans before making it to the ring. Johnson immediately goes to try to kick her ass, but Ed Hoculi does his job well and holds the two apart by holding them by their foreheads. Satisfied that they'll be good at least for a moment, Hoculi bails to the outside and we go back to Michael Buffer.
MB: And now here's referee in charge...Mills...Lane...for the instructions...
ML: **with mic shoved in his face** I went over the instructions with each of you in the dressing room. I want a tough, clean fight. Any questions from the red corner? Any questions from the blue corner? Alright let's GET IT ON!**ding ding**
The bell rings and the two teens charge right at each other and fail at trying to land haymakers, so they resort to what comes naturally I guess; screeching and hair-pulling. Finally Shawn gets the biggest handful of hair and flips Selena to the mat and is able to get a couple of punches in after smashing her head to the mat a couple times. Selena covers up and Shawn stands up. She heads for the far ropes and bounces off. She comes off with a twisting triple punch double-back elbow drop to Selena's jaw which draws oohs and aahs from the crowd. Shawn kinda covers, but Selena kicks out hard after one. Shawn pulls Selena up by the hair, but Selena clears Shawn's hands away and levels her with a clothesline. Selena rubs her jaw as she looks at the prone Johnson and pulls her up. She locks her in and kinda hits a DDT. Selena covers, and that just gets a 2 count. Selena pulls Shawn up again, but Shawn this time hits a sorta Spear (more of a modest shove) into the corner. Shawn jumps up to try to hit a Hurricarana, but Selena hits a...I guess that was a Powerbomb kinda thing. Basically Selena grabbed Shawn's feet and she fell down on the back of her head. It looked like it kinda hurt.
Selena drags Shawn up by the hair and gets her up, all the way to her shoulders. She spins her around and tries for what looks like The Pendulum, but Shawn is able to slide out and hit a Technically I Guess That Was A Diamond Cutter. Both girls are down, and Mills Lane is counting. Suddenly from the back, World Champion Poe comes running down the ramp! Hoculi is there to cut him off, but he's no match for the bigger Poe, and Poe quickly destroys him with The Crucifixion. Meanwhile, Alexander Darling is charging down the ramp unimpeded, and slides into the ring pulling Shawn away just as Poe is about to do the same. Mills Lane won't stand for these shenanigans.
WINNER in 6:15 by DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION...NO CONTEST!
Post-match Poe and Darling go nose-to-nose and start to scrap until OOWF's crack security team breaks them up.
ECOSYSTEM vs. SPIN HANSEN vs. BEER BARONThe three men are announced and make their way to the ring. They all assemble and share handshakes of mutual respect. The bell rings and this one is underway the three meet in the middle of the ring, and Eco and Beer immediately kick Spin in the mid section and hook him and take him over for a vertical suplex. Eco floats over and coves, but Beer immediately grabs Eco and pulls him off of him and covers Spin himself. Spin easily kicks out at one and spins to his feet. Eco charges in but Spin grabs his head and slams him in the face with a head butt sending him to the mat. Beer Baron charges in and tries a clothesline, but Spin ducks it and catches him with a clubbing clothesline to the back of the head. Eco is back on his feet and Spin sends him o the ropes and elevates him with a big back body drop. Beer Baron is back on his feet and as Spin turns around, he scoops him up onto his shoulder and runs him into the corner and traps him in the tree of woe. Before he can do anything, Eco charges up behind Beer and DROPS him with a lung blower! Eco flips Beer over and coves him for a two count while Spin watches helplessly, still tied in the tree of woe. Spin finally frees himself and falls to the mat. Beer Baron slowly gets to his feet and Eco catches him with a drop kick that sends him back to the corner. Eco charges in and tries a monkey flip out of the corner, but Beer holds on and dumps Eco over the top rope to the floor. He waits in the corner and sees Spin get to his feet and stagger to the middle of the ring, then charge out and catches him with a Jericho style bulldog, driving Spin to the mat. Beer flips Spin over and covers, but Spin kicks out with ease. Beer pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and feigns a clothesline, and when Spin ducks it, catches him with a knee to the face, dropping Spin to his knees. Beer grabs him by the head and DRILLS him with a short DDT. Beer covers Spin, but Eco comes out of nowhere from the top rope and drops an elbow across the back of Beer’s head breaking up the pin. Eco grabs Beer and hits a belly to belly suplex, planting him on the mat, then covers, but only gets a one count before Spin kicks him in the teeth sending him rolling to the corner checking to make sure his molars are still in place. Beer gets to his feet and grabs Spin from behind and sends him into the corner head first. Spin slumps to the mat and Beer peppers him with kicks to the chest and face. Eco charges in and catches Beer from behind with a big splash, that doesn’t as much hurt Beer as annoy him. Beer turns around and catches a kick from Eco, pulls him forward and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. Beer Baron grabs Eco’s leg and drags him to the middle of the ring, then runs the ropes and drops a knee across his chest. Beer covers, but Spin charges out of the corner and catches him with a kick to the back that breaks it up. It becomes painfully obvious that to win this match, SOMEone is going to have to be put out so the other can get a pin. Spin grabs Beer and pulls him to his feet and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then follows him to the outside. The two big men trade haymakers on the outside, and Beer ducks a Spin shot and hits a side Russian leg sweep on the floor that sends the back of Spin’s head thudding into the steel stairs. Spin remains on the floor, and looks like he is out cold. Eco gets a running start inside the ring and launches himself over the top rope at Beer Baron, but Beer catches him and drops Eco on the guard rail throat first. Beer shoots Eco into the ring and hauls him up in a vertical suplex, and leaves him there to think about it for a moment, then DRIVES him to the mat and covers, but Eco rolls his shoulder at two. On the outside, we see Spin starting to stir, he puts a hand to the back of his head and it comes back bloody. This just serves to piss him off. Inside the ring, Beer grabs Eco and sets him on the top rope and starts to climb up for a superplex, but Eco catches him with several knees to the face, then hooks him and hits a TORNADO DDT! Eco covers, but Beer rolls his shoulder at two. On the outside, Spin is on his feet and OOWF medics approach him and he snarls at them. They slowly back away from him and Spin slides into the ring. Inside the ring, Spin grabs Beer from behind, knees him in the midsection, then DRIVES him to the mat with a power bomb! Eco has made his way to the corner, and waits perched on the top rope. He leaps and Spin catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with a spine buster! Eco may be broken in half! He slides out of the ring and falls to the floor. Inside the ring, Beer Baron is on his feet, barely, and he nails Spin from behind and hauls him up for the KEG STAND! But Spin frees himself, lands on the mat behind him, spins him around and hits the HAIR OF THE DOG! Spin covers, hooking the leg and gets the one, two, three just before Eco can make it back into the ring.
WINNER in 18:47 – Spin Hansen
CHRIS EVANS, DH MAGNUSSON & FIREWOMAN vs. KZ & SEAMUS MCNASTYThe two members of Run DEA, and the would be member are announced first and come to the top of the ramp. They are met with a mixed reaction from the fans, then make their way to the ring where Fire seems to be mediating between DH and Evans as to what is going to happen during the match. “Scarecrow” starts and kz and Seamus storm the ring and immediately attack. LD Williams nails Firewoman with a forearm to the mouth, sending her between the ropes to the floor, but Fire quickly recovers and pulls Williams out of the ring and catches him with a spinning heel kick. Moose and Magnusson trade punches in the middle of the ring, while Seamus and Evans roll around on the mat hammering one another with shots to the head, clawing and biting each other trying to get the advantage. The referee is going to have a helluva time keeping this one under control. He finally manages to separate Seamus and Evans and sends them to their corners, and calls another referee from the back to break Fire and Williams up and get them to their corner. It actually looks like it might be a real six PERSON tag match now with Moose and Magnusson the legal men in the ring!
Moose grabs Magnusson and backs him into a neutral corner and bites him! Magnusson gets pissed and reverses positions and hammers Moose with shots to the face, then whips him to the opposite corner and charges in, but Moose gets a boot up and catches a charging Magnusson upside the head, staggering him. Moose tags Seamus in, then grabs Magnusson from behind and hits a German suplex, and Seamus drops a leg across his chest. Seamus doesn’t even bother going for the cover, instead he pulls DH to a sitting position and kicks him in the back, then pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but Seamus lowers his head a moment too soon and DH drops him with a DDT. Seamus reaches back and tags in Firewoman, while keeping Seamus on the mat. Seamus comes in and mounts Seamus and HAMMERS him with shots to the face. Fire pulls him to his feet and sends him head first into the corner, then follows him in with a clothesline, then tries a bulldog out of the corner, but Seamus hangs on and throws Fire across the ring. Seamus is about to charge out of the corner with a clothesline, but Evans runs down the apron and connects with a kick to the side of the head. The referee sees this and admonishes Evans, giving LD Williams time to run in and CLUB Fire to the mat with a clothesline to the back of the head, then take her down to the mat and trap her in the CROSS FACE!
This brings Magnusson in to break it up, but he is met by Seamus and the two of them fall out of the ring to the floor. Chris Evans makes it in and Moose tries to cut him off with a clothesline, but Evans ducks and folds Moose in half with a release German suplex. Evans gets back to his feet and charges across the ring and connects with a shining wizard to the side of LD’s head, breaking the hold. Evans pulls LD to his feet and connects with several kicks to the sides of the legs and ribs, then charges off the ropes and KILLS him with a burning hammer! Evans and Fire pulls LD back to his feet and hook him for a double suplex and take him to the mat. Firewoman grabs a chin lock and Evans connects with a low drop kick to the face. Fire grabs LD for a CURBSTOMP and Evans heads to the top rope for an additional head stomp, but as he gets to the top rope, Moose shakes the ropes and Evans falls crotching himself on the top, then Moose steps onto the apron, grabs Evans and hits a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!
Fire releases the hold and looks to see if her partner is still alive. LD gets to his feet and when Fire turns back around, LD connects with a super kick to the jaw that sends Fire out of the ring to the floor. Meanwhile Seamus and Magnusson have battled their way up the ramp and through the back, and are now back stage fighting. Seamus grabs a chair and swings for the fences at DH’s head, but Magnusson ducks and Seamus connects with a support column instead. Magnusson grabs a handy clangy pole and WRAPS it around Seamus’ head. Seamus falls to one knee and Magnusson grabs a keg from the beer stand and holds it over his head and SLAMS it upside Seamus’ head, sending him to the concrete floor, barely conscious. Magnusson laughs and turns and heads back to the ring.
At ringside, LD pulls Moose out of the wreckage of the table and they pull Evans to his feet and set him up for a spike pile driver on the floor, but Fire grabs a piece of the table and SLAMS LD upside the head, he is down on the floor. Fire and Moose stare at one another, then both of them go for weapons, but before they can come to blows, Evans is back on his feet. As Moose turns around, Evans hits a pele kick to the top of Moose’s head, sending him to the floor. Evans and Fire grabs LD and Fire pulls a table from beneath the ring and set it up. Magnusson is back out at ring side and he helps Fire set it up. We cut to the back where we see Seamus is on his feet, bleeding, and staggering toward the Forklift O’Fun. Seamus starts it up and paused for a moment to grab a keg from the stand and toss it on the back, then drives away muttering something about “you wanna play? We’ll play”
Back at ringside, Moose is back on his feet and he grabs a chair and swings for Fire, but Fire ducks and the chair catches Magnusson square in the face, sending him staggering back. LD Williams is back on his feet and he grabs Fire and sets her up for a Canadian Destroyer on the floor, but Evans springs onto the apron, then the top rope and hits a corkscrew moonsault that takes all three of them out! Bodies are lying everywhere and Magnusson struggles to get to his feet leaning against the apron. As he stands up, a crazed Seamus crashes through the entrance way from the back driving the forklift o’fun! He races (for a forklift) down the ramp straight at Magnusson! DH freezes and the Forklift SLAMS into the ring stopping just inches short of crushing Magnusson between the forklift and the ring! Magnusson slumps to the floor after the close call, and the referee decides that attempted vehicular manslaughter is just about enough for one match and waves this off.
WINNERS – No Contest in 15:58
Seamus stands up in the seat and grabs the keg and drinks deeply. He starts the forklift up, laughing maniacally, and drives back up the ramp, and through the back.
COWBOY UP vs. RUN DEAThis will be a rematch of this past week's wild match at Mayhem. Out again first is Cowboy Up – Chad Madison and Zane Myers aboard Skip, and they trot their way to the ring and hop off. This time, they get right into the ring and formulate strategy is appears as the strains of “What the Cat Dragged In” finish up. They give way to “Killing in the Name Of”, and Alexander Darling appears at the top of the ramp. A few seconds go by and Davin Moreland joins him there. The two kind of glare at each other and this incites a loud mixed reaction from the crowd, but you can't tell who's on what side here. They both get into the ring, and Fall River's Own Angelo Barros looks to get things underway; but before he calls for the bell, Alexander charges across the ring and gets right in Chad Madison's face. Chad doesn't take too kindly to that and he starts yelling back, and Zane Myers gently insists that Darling goes back to his corner by giving him a stiff shove. Well, clearly, Darling doesn't take this well, and starts hammering Myers with haymakers. Madison looks to get his partner's back, and just now Davin jumps into the mix and cuts Madison off; but he just pulls him away instead of hitting him.
Meanwhile, Barros is trying to get them out of the ring so he can start the match, but Myers is starting to get the better of the exchange and blood is starting to dribble from the corner of Darling's mouth. Davin is obligated by tag team law to intercede, so he whips Madison into the corner and kicks Myers HARD in the gut, and destroys him with a DDT. Davin gets up and is annihilated by a Top Rope Clothesline by Madison which catches him clean. Madison starts raining punches down on Davin for a bit until Darling unloads with a Steel Chair on the top of Madison's head, and he falls to his knees and into the ropes. Davin comes to in time to see Zane get blasted with the chair, and a self-satisfied smile on Darling's face. Barros is yelling that he can't start the match now, and Darling is yelling that he doesn't give a fuck and threatens Barros with the chair. Davin springs up in time to pull the chair out of Darling's hands before he does anything stupid. Now THEY get into an argument and neither sees Davin get killed by a TRIPLE DROPKICK, who was closest to Chad Madison, but Madison can't follow up; still woozy from the chair shot.
Darling laughs to himself, and crashes the chair over Madison's head again, and he slumps to the mat. Darling does some posing, and soaks up the boos as if he's missed them. Finally, he places the chair on the mat and goes after Madison. Meanwhile, Davin stands up with a stunned expression on his face. He looks at Myers, he looks at Madison, then Myers then Madison again and then realizes that Madison is about to eat a Darling Driver on the Steel Chair. He storms over to Darling and says “That's enough, let's go.” Darling just smirks and gets his hand around Madison's throat. Madison looks at Davin, helpless and Darling is staring at Davin the whole time too. Suddenly, Davin's expression changes from shock to rage, and he kicks Darling HARD in the gut, forcing Darling to drop Madison. Davin seems torn as the crowd is going batshit crazy at this point. He hesitates, but then UNLEASHES a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE STEEL CHAIR and Darling is OUT! The crowd erupts in a monster cheer as Davin looks genuinely hurt as to what he's just done.
Davin waves over for a microphone and gets one.
Davin: Ok...Madison...Myers...you better start talking and start talking now...who the fuck ARE you?
Madison: * now magically with a microphone * Zane? Would you grab the briefcase?Myers heads outside of the ring and grabs a conveniently placed briefcase and hands it to him.
Madison: Thanks partner.Myers just nods and has a big smile on his face.
Madison: So Davin, we think it's time that you and everyone here know the truth about us, and the answer is in this briefcase.
Davin: Just tell me I'm right, would ya?
Madison: Well, THAT'S no fun, close your eyesDavin, still not 100% sure, does close his eyes but grabs the ropes so he won't get thrown too far. Meanwhile, both men bend down and put something on their heads. They stand up and they're now wearing an awfully familiar something that we haven't seen in a long time.
Russ: BAH GAWD! BLUE AND SILVER MASKS! That can only mean...
Razz: THIS IS OFF THE CHAIN!!!
Nash: Dammit.The crowd is absolutely batshit complete with a “WEL-COME BACK” chant.
Madison: Open them, Davin.Davin opens his eyes and immediately gets a big smile on his face and starts nodding.
Davin: I knew it. Welcome back, boysDavin and the former Madison and Myers share a manhug as the crowd roars once again. This time they start up a “D-L-P” chant, and Davin feels the need to hear himself talk again.
Davin: Now hold on everyone. Davin Moreland is very happy that his brothers are back among us for real, and sincerely, welcome back Phantos and Lucios; but things have changed since you've been gone...
Lucios (nee Myers): We know, D.
Davin: And Davin Moreland can't help but notice you're sporting the old-school blue-and-silver...
Phantos (nee Madison): Whaddya say, D? Why don't we get the band back together again?Davin looks incredulous and pulls the mic from his face as the crowd starts up another “D-L-P” chant. He looks down at the just-stirring-to-life Alexander Darling on top of the Steel Chair and mouths something to him. Was that “sorry”?
Davin: Aw hell...Monkeys in the truck?? Fire up OUR music! It's been too long since these folks have heard it!Almost instantaneously, Run DMC's “Walk This Way” fires up on command over the PA and the crowd roars once more. They do the raise-each-others-hand thing and the pose-on-the-turnbuckles thing and start to leave the ring. Darling has gotten to his knees with murder in his eyes. Phantos and Lucios are on the ramp, but Davin is still on the apron, in a stare down with Alexander Darling. After a few tense moments, Davin starts laughing and hops off the apron and poses for the crowd with Phantos and Lucios on the ramp before heading to the back. The camera cuts hard back to Darling who has nothing but pure unadulterated hate on his face as we cut to commercial.
THE HEROES GUILD vs. IHOP – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title MatchThe International House of Pain is announced and they come to the ring, SYB, Skurge, The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and Jeffrey From Las Vegas. IHOP is looking to win the OOWF Campeonas de Trios titles for the third time. They meet in the corner and decide that The Amnesiac will start things for them. “With Jupiter in Mind” blares across the PA system and The Heroes Guild comes out to the top of the ramp, each wearing one of the Trios titles, and pause to soak in the cheers of the crowd. They sprint to the ring and slide under the bottom rope and head to their corner. A quick rock, scissor, paper contest determines that Crete will be starting things, and we are underway!
The Amnesiac and Crete circle and lock up, Crete slips behind The Amnesiac and tries to run him to the ropes for a roll up, but TA holds on to the top rope. Crete rolls through and gets to his feet, The Amnesiac charges for a clothesline, but Crete does the nifty Matrix move to avoid it, TA puts on the breaks and Crete grabs his head and takes him to the mat with a side head lock. The Amnesiac quickly gets to his feet and lifts Crete and sends him to the mat with a belly to back suplex, dropping Crete right on the back of his head. TA grabs Crete’s leg and pulls him to the IHOP corner and tags in Skurge. Skurge steps into the ring and drops an elbow down across Crete’s chest and covers, but Crete kicks out at one.
Skurge pulls Crete up and shoves him into the IHOP corner and EXPLODES with punches and chops. Crete staggers forward and Skurge DRILLS him with a head butt between the eyes. Crete falls to the mat and Skurge pulls him up, then hits a snap suplex, floats over and covers, but Crete kicks out at two. Skurge pulls Crete up and sends him to the ropes and tries a knee to the mid section, but Crete leaps over his leg and rolls Skurge up for a two count. Skurge kicks out with authority and moves toward Crete but Crete catches him with an enzuguri to the side of the head that drops him to one knee.
Crete reaches out and tags in Larson, and Bryce runs into the ring and catches Skurge with a shining wizard, then keeps going to a neutral corner and climbs to the top rope. As Skurge gets to his feet Larson leaps and catches him with a spinning leg lariat and covers, but Skurge rolls his shoulder at two. Larson pulls Skurge to a sitting position on the mat and traps him in a sitting abdominal stretch, and repeatedly hammers him with elbows to the ribs. Skurge fights to his feet and sends Larson to the mat with a hip toss, but then grabs his side in pain. Larson takes advantage of this with a running knee to the ribs that sends Skurge to the second rope grabbing his side. Larson gets a running start and slams down on Skurge’s back on the ropes, then drags him to the middle of the ring again and covers, but Skurge kicks out at two. Larson pulls him to his feet and hooks him for a vertical suplex, and leaves him up there for a bit, then drops him stomach first on the top rope. Larson leaves him hanging there, then tags in Nayr. Nayr leaps to the top rope, then jumps off catching the hanging Skurge with a leg drop to the back of the head! Skurge falls back into the ring and Nayr covers, but he can only get a two count.
Nayr pulls Skurge to his feet and rocks him with a European uppercut and backs him into the corner and sets him on the top rope. Nayr climbs up to the top rope, leaps and SNAPS Skurge off with a hurracarana! Nayr covers, but once again Skurge shows his resilience by kicking out at two. Nayr reaches out and makes a quick tag to Larson again and he comes in and Nayr holds Skurge in a camel clutch and Larson comes off the ropes and catches him with a drop kick to the face. Skurge grabs his face in pain and Larson covers, but Skurge again kicks out at two. Larson pulls him up and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker, then heads to the top rope for a moonsault. Larson leaps, but Skurge gets his knees up in time and Larson crashes and burns. Skurge gets to his feet and starts to stagger to his corner, but Larson leaps and grabs his foot to stop him. Skurge turns around and snarls at Larson, and repeatedly kicks him in the head, then pulls him to his feet, traps his arms, and slams him in the face several times with a head butt. Larson falls to the mat, grabbing his bloody nose in pain, and Skurge finally tags out, tagging SYB into the match.
SYB comes in and grabs the back of Larson’s head, and drives it to the mat with his knee. If Larson’s nose wasn’t broken then, it is now. SYB flips him over and covers, hooking the leg, but Larson kicks out at two. SYB keeps Larson on the mat and connects with a stomp to the jaw, then drops an elbow and covers again, but once again Larson kicks out. SYB pulls Larson to his feet and kicks him in the gut, then runs the ropes and takes him to the mat with a swinging neck breaker. SYB tries another cover, and once again comes up short. SYB snaps at the referee and pulls Larson to his feet and paint brushes him with slaps a few times, then grabs him for a stunner, but Larson hooks his arms and hits a DRAGON SUPLEX! Larson gets to his feet and tags in Nayr, they stay in the ring and wait for SYB to get to his feet, then POP him in the mouth with a double super kick! Nayr tags in Crete and Crete waits for SYB to get on his hands and knees and crawl across the ring to make the tag, Crete pounces and rolls SYB up in a Magistrol Cradle and gets the one, two, three!
WINNERS in 14:16 – The Heroes Guild
THIM REYNOLDS vs. MATTE – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match The winner of the Onslaught Tournament for the Titles, Matte, is announced and makes his way to the ring. He paces anxiously around the ring waiting for Thim Reynolds to make his way to the ring. Thim’s music plays and he comes out to the top of the ramp and sees how anxious Matte is to get things started, so he REALLY takes his time getting to the ring. Matte is pacing like a caged animal, getting more and more annoyed with each passing second. Thim finally makes it to ring side and slowly climbs onto the apron, Matte immediately charges for him, so Thim drops back to the floor and tells the referee to back him up. Matte is beside himself with rage now as the referee backs him to the corner and threatens to disqualify him before the match even starts, however that would work. Finally Thim steps between the ropes and holds the title high in the air. If looks could kill, Thim would be dead on the mat right now. The referee takes the title and holds it up as well, then goes over the rules with both men in the center of the ring. The referee turns to call for the bell, and Thim turns to head back to his corner, but the second the bell rings, Matte attacks him from behind with a clubbing forearm to the back of the head, sending Thim to the mat.
Matte pounces on him and hammers him with shots to the back of the head, Thim tries to cover up and take some of the shots with his hands instead, but Matte is like a mad man. He pulls Thim to his feet and sends him to the ropes and stops him with a kick to the mid section then scoops him up and plants him on the mat, bounds off the ropes and drops a fist right between Thim’s eyes that draws a warning from the referee. Matte shrugs it off and pulls Thim to his feet and shoves him into the corner and follows him in with a clothesline, then lifts him out of the corner and drops him head first on the turnbuckle, SNAKE EYES! Thim’s head snaps backward and he falls to the mat, Matte immediately pounces on him and covers, but he can only get a two count. Matte pulls Thim to a sitting position, then gets to his feet and swings and just kicks Thim in the face, sending him right back to the mat. Thim rolls to the ropes and gets to one knee and wipes the blood from his split lip and glares at Matte. Matte is completely unfazed and charges in and hammers Thim with rights to the face, drawing another warning from the referee. That is his second warning already, one more and he will be disqualified. Matte pulls Thim up and sends him to the ropes and elevates him on the rebound with a back body drop, as soon as Thim hits the mat, Matte runs the ropes and hits a senton splash and covers for another two count, but this time Thim hooks his arm and leg and rolls him over in a crucifix for a two count of his own.
Both men are quickly to their feet and Matt tries another whip, but Thim reverses it and starts to whip Matte to the ropes, then pulls him back and throws him across the ring with a release belly to belly suplex. Matte lands awkwardly on the back of his head and rolls out of the ring to the floor. Thim follows him, and rolls him right back into the ring, and drops a knee on the back of his head for good measure. Thim goes into methodical mode now, he pulls Matte to a sitting position on the mat and tries to twist his head off, occasionally dropping elbows to the top of Matte’s head and side of his neck. Matte fights to his feet, but Thim takes him back to the mat with an Olympic slam, covers, but only gets a one count. Thim lets Matte get to his feet and runs the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Matte ducks it and Thim misses, puts on the breaks, grabs Matte’s head and DRIVES him to the mat with a neck breaker. Thim floats over and covers, but Matte rolls his shoulder at two. Thim pulls Mate to his feet and hauls him onto his shoulders for a death valley driver, but Matte slips off his shoulders, spins Thim around and rocks him with a European uppercut, then hooks him for a suplex, but Thim reverses and takes Matte up, Matte shifts his weight and lands behind Thim on the apron, then grabs his head and guillotines him on the top rope. Thim staggers backward, and Matte climbs to the top rope and tries a cross body block but Thim catches him, and tries to spin him into a choke slam but Matte reverses it into a NEVERMIND DDT! Matte covers, hooking the leg, but Thim reaches out and grabs the bottom rope forcing the break!
Matte shows his frustration and barks at the referee for not making the three count. While he is arguing with the ref, Thim gets on his feet. Matte turns around and walks right into a brutal t-bone suplex! Thim pummels Matte with punches and kicks, then grabs the tazz-mission! Matte remains on his feet and fights it, but he can’t escape, finally he lunges forward and falls to the ropes, he catches Thim’s neck on the top rope and he slingshots back into the middle of the ring. Matte gets to his feet, a little wobbly, and pulls Thim up for a suplex, but Thim shifts his weight and lands behind Matte, grabs the tazz-mission again and this time uses his momentum to fall back to the mat. Matte struggles, but he is too far from the ropes to make it, after several minutes of struggle, he goes limp and the referee immediately calls for the bell.
WINNER in 14:10 – Thim Reynolds
After the match, Thim grabs his title and heads to the second rope and holds it high in the air. Meanwhile, Matte regains consciousness in the middle of the ring and gets to his feet, quietly slides out of the ring and comes back with a chair. Matte SLAMS the chair across Thim’s back, knocking him off the ropes to the mat. Matte grabs the title and waits for Thim to get to his feet, and PASTES him upside the head with it! Matte sets up for another shot, but the crowd pops as Ecosystem makes his way to the ring, he grabs Matte, spins him around and POPS him with a High Impact Move! Matte drops the title and rolls out of the ring grabbing his jaw. Eco picks up the Onslaught championship and threatens to come after Matte with it. From the other side of the ring, Thim gets to his feet holding his head and sees Ecosystem holding the title. He walks up to him and demands to know what is going on. Eco immediately realizes how this must look and tries to explain, but Thim just snatches the title from him and heads to the back.
THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchVan Halen's "Right Now" blares thru the PA, signaling the arrival of the champions, who enter first for some reason. Johnny walks out from behind the curtain, but AA is in tow wearing street clothes and a sling on his right arm. The champions enter the ring and grab a mic.
JA: We have some bad news. <crowd boos> Yes, bad news, if you shut up, I'll tell ya what it is. Unfortunately, yesterday afternoon, Alan suffered a serious shoulder injury at the sportsbook here in... where the hell are we again?
AA: I don't know.
JA: Wherever we are... me & Tude were at the sportsbook yesterday, taking in the horsies. We each placed a friendly little wager on some ponies, and what do you know? Alan here hits the Superfecta! One, single, lonely $50 bet... $21,000 large, daddio!
<AA, with his free hand, signals a 2 and a 1 with his fingers.>
JA: So we go to the pay window, and this backwoods, off the map, piece of crap town pays us our winnings in COINS! Not bills, not paper, COINS! Do you know how much $21,000 weighs in... whatever you idiots call your money around here? Long story short, Alan tore his labrum trying to carry that bag of money back to the car and will not be able to perform tonight.
AA: I'm sorry.
JA: But never fear, your truly, Johnny Adrenaline, being the fighting champion that I am, will defend our tag team championship tonight against either one of our scheduled opponents in one on one action!TFDU reluctantly make their way to the ring, skeptical of the ongoing shenanigans. Johnny points out that AA is in street clothes, and tells the ref that if it's not a one on one match, the champs will take a countout loss. AA says they don't want to let the fans down, and finally, because they want the titles, OBJ and Gator agree to a singles match, and flip a coin to decide who goes. It's gonna be Gator.
GATORBAIT vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINE - OOWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPCollar and elbow tie-up goes to a stalemate, a second one does not, as Gator shoves Johnny back to the corner. JA charges, but GB sends him to the ropes. Leapfrog and Gator gets a hip toss. They go again, and this time Johnny sends GB to the ropes. JA leapfrogs nobody though, and Gator's waiting for him with a right hand. To the ropes again, but GB puts his head down early and Johnny gets a backslide for two, and JA pops up and says he was this close to winning. Gator laughs at him, pissing off Johnny, so JA charges again, but Gator sidesteps him and slings him all the way over the top rope to the floor. AA tries to protest the old NWA over the top rope DQ rule, but the ref's having none of it. JA shakes the cobwebs, regroups with AA, and cautiously goes back in. Johnny goes to the eyes and pounds GB down, but a front facelock ends up with Gator putting Johnny up on the top turnbuckle. Superplex is blocked, however, and Johnny crotches Gator on the top rope. With GB perched on the rope, Johnny hits a missile dropkick, sending Gator crashing hard to the floor. JA follows out and pounds away on the floor. Gator to the steps, and they dislodge. AA tries to move them out of the way with his free hand, but an Irish whip is reversed and Johnny crashes into AA, who falls down and lands on his shoulder, and he's writhing in pain. Johnny, in overblown fashion, wants a doctor, but Gator jumps him from behind. Back in we go, but a blatant low blow puts GB back down. That draws OBJ up on the apron, so while the ref is distracted, Johnny gives him another one to boot. ADRENALINE RUSH~! One, two, but Gator gets a foot on the ropes. Johnny's pissed. To the ropes and Johnny gets a back elbow... the posing elbow drop misses, though. Gator hooks Johnny into a Texas Cloverleaf and Johnny's in trouble, reaching for the ropes. JA fights it, nearing the ropes, and AA pulls himself up and pushes the bottom rope in toward the ring so Johnny can grab it. The ref forces the break. Jack sees this and runs around the other side of the ring and chases AA. Into the ring we go, and a pair of brass knuckles falls out of the sling, unbeknown to everyone but Johnny. JA crawls over and loads up, but OBJ stops the chase long enough to see what's going on and yells at the ref about it. The ref grabs Johnny and spins him around, trying to gets the foreign object off his hand. As they fight, Gator sneaks up from behind and hits a Tiger suplex! The knux go flying, and the ref grabs them... but Gator's got the count! AA slides back in, pulls a crowbar out of the sling and winds up... but the ref turns around to see the crowbar, the sling off, and no injury to Capps!! AA knows he's in trouble... and the delay is enough for Outback Jack to schoolboy AA from behind!! One, two, THREE!!! Gator and Jack are awarded the titles as Johnny and AA are FUMING, claiming that neither Alan nor Jack were even legal participants in the match. TFDU dangle the belts in TCH's faces and leave the ring to a huge pop.
WINNERS in 14:42 and NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER
THE DEAD vs. STANK – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchThe OOWF icon, Stank, is introduced first and he makes his way to the ring, complete with his proper theme music this week. Stank steps between the ropes, gives a little wave to the crowd, then stands stoically in the corner waiting for the champion. Stank made it through the grueling Intercontinental title tournament, and cashes in for his first shot at the title tonight. The Dead’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring, slapping hands with his fans, but never taking his eyes off the monumental challenger standing in the ring. The Dead steps between the ropes and heads to the middle of the ring. Stank meets him there and the two stare each other down while the referee goes over the instructions and then takes the title and holds it up in the air. The bell rings, and in a surprising show of sportsmanship, the two shakes hands. We are underway!
They slowly circle and lock up, Stank has the clear power advantage and he starts to move The Dead to the corner, but Dead wants no part of that and breaks the hold and moves back to the corner. Stank locks up again, and this time Dead grabs a side head lock, Stank easily picks him up off the mat and tosses him aside. Dead hits the mat, and immediately springs back to his feet and turns to face Stank. Stank just grins. Dead charges in and ducks a clothesline attempt and lands a couple of hard kicks to the backs of Stank’s legs. Stank drops to one knee and Dead bounds off the ropes and connects with a short bulldog, driving the big man to the mat. Dead covers, but Stank kicks out with authority before the referee can count one.
Stank is quickly back to one knee and Dead grabs an arm wringer and connects with a crescent kick to the chest, then follows it with a spinning heel kick that sends the big man staggering back to the corner. Dead charges in and tries a flying forearm to the side of the head, but Stank catches him and swats him to the mat like a fly! Dead is staring at the lights trying to get his bearings back, and Stank steps out of the corner and drops a mammoth elbow across Dead’s chest! Stank covers, but the champion kicks out at one. Stank pulls Dead to his feet and whips him HARD into the corner, Dead SLAMS into the turnbuckle chest first and staggers backward a few steps, then Stank follows him in and CLUBS him on the back of the head with a clothesline. Dead hits the mat, Stank flips him over and covers again, but once again Dead manages to roll his shoulder at two.
Stank is undaunted and pulls Dead up again and grabs him by the back of the head and repeatedly slams him in the face with a head butt, then grabs the smaller Dead in a bear hug! The champion howls in pain and tries to fight it, but Stank has his arms pinned alongside his body as he tries to squeeze the life, and the title, from Dead. Dead slowly works one arm free, then the other, but the move is taking its toll. He starts to fade and the referee checks his arm, it drops once, but Dead keeps it up the second time. Stank snorts and lifts Dead off the mat and squeezes tighter. Dead howls in pain again, and this time Stank leans forward until Dead’s shoulder are on the mat. He gets several two counts, but each time Dead just narrowly avoids the three count. Finally Stank picks him up and keeps the hold on. The referee checks the arm again, it drops once, twice, thre…..NO! Somehow Dead manages to keep the arm up, but he is clearly struggling to breathe. Finally Dead throws a couple of weak punches to Stank’s head, it seems to annoy Stank more than hurt him, so he turns the bear hug into a belly to belly suplex, DRIVING Dead to the mat. Stank hooks the leg, but somehow Dead rolls his shoulders just in time.
Dead rolls out of the ring and grabs his ribs in pain. Stank doesn’t give him a moments rest though, leaving the ring to come after him. Stank pulls Dead to his feet and whips him hard into the ring steps, Dead hits back first, grimaces in pain and falls to the floor. Stank pulls him up and rolls him into the ring then follows him. Dead is on his knees trying to get to his feet and Stank connects with a big boot to the ribs that sends Dead back to the mat. To his credit Dead uses Stank to pull himself up again, and lands a couple of shots to Stank’s midsection. Stank connects with a head butt that rocks Dead, then shoves him back into the corner and follows him with an avalanche. Stank takes a few steps back and lets Dead stagger out, then lifts him up and hits a thunderous side slam, hooks the leg, but once again, only gets two.
Dead needs to mount SOME kind of offense if he wants to hold onto his title. Right now he is on the mat sucking wind and grabbing his ribs in pain. Stank calls for the Stank-U and pulls Dead off the mat and onto his shoulders, but Dead fights out of it, catching Stank with several elbows to the side of the head then lands on his feet behind Stank. Dead catches Stank with a knee to the gut, then drops him on the mat with a DDT! Both men remain on the mat, Stank flat on his face, and Dead flat on his back grabbing his ribs in pain. The referee starts the ten count and both men stay down. At seven, they start to stir. Stank gets to his feet first and motions for Dead to get to his feet, when he does, Stank charges with a clothesline, but Dead ducks it, Stank hits the ropes and rebounds and gets POPPED with the CLOSE THE CASKET! Dead falls on Stank and hooks the leg, one, two, thre…..NO! STANK ROLLED HIS SHOULDER! HOLY SHIT!
Dead looks on in disbelief then covers Stank again, and gets another two count. Dead grabs Stank and pulls him to his feet and pulls him to a corner and climbs to the middle rope for a tornado DDT, but Stank blocks it with shots to Dead’s ribs. Stank sets Dead on the top rope and climbs to the middle ropes and hooks him for a superplex, but Dead fights for his life. Punching Stank and slamming him with forearms to the jaw. Dead stands up and leaps over Stank and takes him off the second rope with a POWERBOMB! Dead has him rolled up and gets the one, two, thre….NO! Stank kicks out, rolls to his feet, and Dead catches him with another CLOSE THE CASKET! Stank falls to the mat and Dead covers, hooking the leg hard, and this time gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 27:29 – The Dead
After the match both men get to their feet and meet in the center of the ring and share a manly hug of mutual respect and Stank raises Dead’s hand and they leave the ring.
, and Dr. Sidney Freedman 
. She roams the halls trying desperately to lose them, but they keep up with her. Finally she finds herself in Ric's Sandwich Shoppe. She takes a seat and they immediately sit down next to her.>