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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:04:36 GMT -5
OOWF MADNESS ppv LIVE! From Truth or Consequences, New Mexico!
Niles Anderson vs. Chris Alt - Ambulance Match Johnny Adrenaline vs. Attitude Adjuster - OOWF Intercontinental Title Match Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG - Barbed Wire Steel Cage Weapons match 3Piece Set vs. Brad Smoley & Smark - OOWF World Tag Team Title Match Donovan Viper vs. Hardbody Harris - OOWF World Title Match UnderDawg vs. Canadian Dragon - Ultimate Hell match for Dragon's "World" title Beast vs. Harper Camby Microplay vs. Blade FF Capslock & Stank vs. Thim Reynolds & Semaj B Endo & Morte vs. Hellion & Corax LD Williams vs. Mark Vander Revolution XX vs. The Dragons Outback Jack vs. Tommy O'Neil GimmickMan vs. GatorBait vs. JW Westgaard
as usual, card is subject to change. Just a little note on this one, I will try to get it posted Sunday night, but I will be out of town this weekend, so I am not sure. This one will likely be considerably shorter than the others, it all depends on what kind of time I have to work on it, it will certainly be up before Wednesday's Midweek Mayhem.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:04:59 GMT -5
sfj#61 is standing With Tommy O'neil.
#61: So Tommy, At madness you'll be goin head to head with with Outback Jack, what are your thoughts?
TO: well aren't you a fine bit of stuff? maybe ya' like to have a pint of Arthur's or ten and see what 'appen's...
#61 <blushes>: but what about you match with OBJ?
TO: that Aussie Twat?....he may be a rather large can-of-piss but I'll kick his arse here to Londonderry.
TO: OBJ...you know the saying they have in the states...Bite the dog before the dog bites you...well boyo....'ave a pint a' Fosters or whatever the swill is you drink wif ya, 'cause on Sunday...the 'angover'll be brutal.
cut to commercial
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:05:25 GMT -5
Camera is in the Ministry locker room. Hellion and Corax are sitting on the benches
H - Man, Corax, we've got to buckle down. We've been on this losing skid ever since losing those titles
C - No doubt. I don't know if we're losing focus or what. It doesn't help that Viper and the boss have been involved in their own thing. We haven't been much of a unit lately, you know?
H - Yeah, but still. We're the best tag team in this damn company. We're winners. We're not like some jobber tag team part of a larger faction that got a token tag team championship and lost it never to get it back again.
C - Are you talking about those two bald guys? The umm... Crashem Brothers?
H - Smashem Brothers?
C - Baldwin Brothers?
H - Anyways, we're not them. We're greatne.... what the heck?
Underdawg pushes Viper into the locker, nearly knocking over Corax.
C - Aw crap, my tapioca!
UD - What the hell was that Donnie?
DV - What the hell was what, boss?
UD - I know you were talking to Moosehead and thanked him. You have no reason to be thanking the lowlife for anything. He may have inadvertedly kept you from losing the title, but he certainly did not do it for you.
DV - You think I don't know that? But you've gotta admit, since us and the Establishment have stopped fighting and that the AYUFF has their attention, things have been a lot calmer in our locker room. We've been getting ambushed a lot less, hell, Beast leaves me alone now. And not to mention that I've held on to the championship since then, too.
UD - Still, the Establishment, especially Moosehead are NOT to be trusted, no matter what his catchphrase is.
DV - Hey, I can handle my sh##, ok? And let me point out that I had Concrete, ok? That match was gonna be mine until Moosehead interfered. I wasn't going to tap out to that abortion of a manuever that he calls the Scaffold. And speaking of scaffolds, don't you have your Ultimate Hell match with the Canadian Dragqueen to worry about, instead of who I've been exchanging small conversation with?
UD - Hmph. I've got nothing to worry about this Sunday. This Sunday, at Madness, I'm going to stomp that Canadian Insect. I'm going to put the Dragon through Ultimate Hell all right. He's in way over his head. Not only is he going to lose that belt, he's going to lose his blood, his soul, his pride, and his dignity. I'll crush him so hard he'll never want to step into the ring again. I'll mutilate him so much his mother will be ashamed of him. You can thank that bastard Moosehead all you want, Donovan, but at the end of Ultimate Hell, after I've tortured him and climbed to the top of the ladder to retrieve that belt, it will be the Canadian Dragon who will thank me, for allowing him to still be alive after all of the brutality he will be a victim of. And it will be you, Donovan, who will be thanking me for bring the belt back where it belongs. To the Ministry.
DV - Damn right. Get him to shut his flapping gums up once and for all about his stupid belt. Can't wait to put that thing around my waist.
UD - Around your waist?
DV - Yeah. Right where it belongs. On the champion. In the Ministry.
UD - Right... In the Ministry.
DV - Sweet. Cor, Hel. Let's get you guys inspired for your match. We're getting drinks.
H & C - sure thing.
Viper leaves with Hellion and Corax, with Underdawg looking on as the camera fades out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:05:48 GMT -5
*The scene is a darkened parking garage in a New Mexico hospital. The camera spots an ambulance parked against the wall, and sitting on top of it is "No Nickname Required" Chris Alt*
CA *checking his wristwatch*: Well hey there, Niles. I know you're watching this. I know you're probably staring at the clock on the wall in whatever dank hotel room you've chosen to spend your final hours before our ambulance match in. It's kinda funny, how time works for us, Niles. See, for you, the time is rushing by and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You might talk a big game, you might have the Establishment backing you up, but deep down inside, you think about laying on a gurney being put into this ambulance and you feel like a frightened child. And me-- I can't WAIT to get my hands on you, and the time can't go by fast enough. I could swear three hours have passed, but I look at the clock and it's only been fifteen minutes. Time-- it's a pretty abstract concept, isn't it, Anderson? But I'm getting off the subject.
*Alt jumps down off of the ambulance, walks around to the back, and opens the doors*
CA: What do ya think, Niles? You like it? I hope that you do. You'll have a long ride to the emergency room in this bad boy, and I'll want you to be as comfortable in here as possible. Especially when you consider the massive level of DIScomfort that you'll be in during our match. You ever been in one of these, Niles? The back of an ambulance, I mean? Strapped to the gurneys with the EMTs hovering over you like vultures about to pick the bones of a carcass? An oxygen mask covering your mouth, making you feel panicked, making it difficult to scream? Have you ever laid there trying to make sense of why you were in there in the first place and wondering if you would make it out? Because this girl has, Niles.
*Alt takes out a picture of a young girl and shows it to the camera*
CA: This is the girl that did nothing to you but yell at you to stop attacking me at while I was singing autographs. Do you remember her, Niles? Do you remember when you gave her your little Steed-D-T onto the concrete? She's 18 years old, Niles. Not even out of high school yet. She had a scholarship to go to the University of Tennessee playing basketball, and now the doctors don't know when or if she'll walk again. She's just a little girl, Niles. And you ruined her life. You crippled a little girl just to send me a message. So that poor girl got put on a gurney, and they put her in the back of an ambulance and took her to the hospital. I sat by her bedside with her family for the next three days, Niles. I learned all about that girl and her hopes and dreams and fears and the more I got to know that girl and her family, the more I wanted to get my hands from you and crush you like the soulless insect that you are.
*Alt sits down inside the back of the ambulance*
CA: So whatever you're doing right now, Niles, I hope you're living it up. I hope you're having a good laugh about that "stupid broad that got in between me and Alt". I hope you're not sweating this showdown of ours because you think Moosehead Jack and your boys can save you from me. But I got bad news for you, Niles. At Madness-- not even God Himself can save you from me. And as they close these very doors and you're left in the darkness and you hear those sirens blaring, I want you to feel every emotion that poor girl felt on her way to the hospital. But the difference between you and that girl, Niles? She got out of the hospital. You might not. This is so much more than just prime time, Niles Anderson. This just might be your life.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:06:13 GMT -5
*Niles is strutting down the isle of a hospital. He's got a big grin on his face.*
Niles - Hey Chris, how's it going? I bet you think I'm gonna cut a promo about how these halls are going to familiar to you or something. I bet you think I'm gonna do something ambulance related because it's oh-so-clever. But I'm not.
*Niles turns the corner to walk down another hallway. He's still smiling widely. Doctors and nurses brush past him. Familiar hospital sounds are abound.*
Niles - I bet you think that when we get in the ring together, you're going to be looking forward to an Establishment run-in. Well, wrong again. I'm asking Moose, Endo and the rest of the Establishment to leave this to me. In fact, any run-in from anyone will be severly punished. You need a lesson, Mr. Alt, and I will be the one to teach it.
*Niles stops in the hallway in front of a door. The name of the patient is not yet revealed.*
Niles - You think you have me all figured out, don't you Chris. You think that I'm just some pawn in a game that's bigger than me. You think you know what direction I'm coming from, but then BAM!!! I blindside you. That's how it works when you take on The Specimen. I didn't get this far by brawn alone. It's brains my friend. That's how I became 100PM. And something has become apparent to me.
*Niles raises the same picture of the girl Chris Alt showed in his last promo and then tacks it on the door he is standing by.*
Niles - I can get to you. Just by standing by this door. You see, your lady friend is in there right now. Getting a checkup to make sure she's alright. I could go in there and make sure she's not.
*Niles grins widely.*
Niles - But I'm not a monster. I gotta save my energy for you my friend. But just so you know...
*Niles suddenly kicks the door in and jumps in the room and screams boogly boogly sounds. Everyone in the room jumps and screams in horror. Niles starts to laugh.*
Niles - I'm capable of anything.
*Niles approaches the same girl he Steed-D-T'd and gives her a pat on the head. She is terrified as is everyone else in the room. He then turns and walks out of the room with his widest smile yet. Fade to black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:06:44 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster watches the monitor, playing back a tap of the onversation between Ross and Johnny Adrenaline.
Ross: I think you're destined to get that title taken from you by somebody with some integrity and some class, two traits you know nothing about…(rewind)…somebody with some integrity and some class…(rewind)… some integrity and some class…some integrity and some class…
AA: You see Johnny, your days as Intercontinental champion are dwindling. Ross said it best: Someone with integrity and class will take that title from you. Well, I am walking integrity and class, baby! The OOWF wouldn’t have a finer champion to hold the Intercontinental title than Double A, and after Madness, that’s exactly what will be. Johnny, there’s nothing you can do about it. Bring your nine iron, bring your putter, bring your driver for all I care. It won’t be enough.
From the first day I entered the OOWF, my goal was to bring down Concrete TG. At the time, he wore the Intercontinental strap. Along the way, I ran into you, Johnny, and that half-wit sidekick of yours, LD Williams. You tried to take me out, thought I wasn’t in your league. Johnny, how many times have I defeated you? Once, twice…eh, I tiring of counting. Then you took down Concrete, a man I respect, a tough guy who can fight his own fights. Now I had to decide: Concrete or the title. Well, Concrete and I, now we have plans. We have a future. Right now, I’ve decided to beat the man who beat the man, and that’s you, Johnny Adrenaline. That gold will look good around my waist.
So for the next few days, Johnny, enjoy the limelight. Enjoy the stardom. Remember it, drink it in. Smell it, taste it, feel it, own it. Because after Madness, none of that will be yours. It will be mine, all mine.
Attitude Adjuster, Intercontinental Champion. Oh yeah, that has an undeniable ring to it.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:07:09 GMT -5
The camera focuses on Johnny Adrenaline dressed in a suit and tie standing behind a large steel lottery drum. He’s holding a thin Bob Barker-ish microphone.
JA: “Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the OOWF Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. Let’s get right to our grand prize draw.”
Johnny spins the drum, opens it, and pulls out a slip of paper.
JA: “And the grand prize winner is…Mark Vander!!! Carl, tell us what he’s won.”
Carl Coolname’s voice is heard over clips of L.D. Williams in the ring.
CC: “Well, Johnny, Mark Vander has one a free, all-expenses paid trip to the newly opened Williams Academy of Pain right here in Truth of Consequences, New Mexico.”
Clips show L.D. Williams making Concrete TG Tap
CC: “Marc will receive extensive instruction in the arts of losing gracefully, losing gracelessly, and just plain losing. Depending on he’s performance in these express courses, Mark may be invited to participate in additional seminars such as ‘sustaining a career ending injury’, ‘neck braces for beginners’ and ‘the body cast and you’”
Clips show L.D. making Ecosystem tap, attacking J.W. Westgaard, and defeating Attitude Adjuster.
CC: “And here to tell us about a special bonus prize for Mr. Vander is the proprietor of the academy, L.D. Williams”
The camera cuts to footage of L.D. in a gym.
LD: “To celebrate the opening of our new Academy, we are prepared to offer Mark Vander a one night express course from “Pain: Your New Acquaintance” to “Pain: Your Lifelong Companion”.
The camera cuts back to Johnny
JA: “There you have it, folks. Mark Vander is about to become the envy of all his friends. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for further prize offerings from the OOWF Clearinghouse Sweepstakes."
The screen goes black. White text appears
-the OOWF Clearinghouse Sweepstakes is a co-production of the Establishment and the Williams Academy of Pain-
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:07:31 GMT -5
Harper Camby is seen backstage with a mic.
Harper: Well it seems our busty interviewer was correct afetr all. There is a wrestler named Beast and I'll be facing him at OOWF Madness. I say bring it on. You might be big Beast, but combine power and speed like no other big man here. This body is godlike and my instints in the ring are animal like. Who here can really hurt me? Outback certainly didn't. Sure he picked up the W but beating me into a pin and managing to roll me into one is much different. You better be packing a few bottles of Aleve, because afetr I'm done with you your spine will throb, your arms will ache, your legs will burn, and you'll want to rip off your own head just to stop the pain. At Madness I'm unleashing the Beast inside of me.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:07:52 GMT -5
## Following a workout Semaj B is in the dressing rooms drying off after a shower. He checks his mobile and notices a waiting voicemail . . .
Semaj . . . Semaj . . . damn. Look Semaj it's Thim. I have no idea what the hell's been happening. I've just woken up in a motel room in Colorado . . . I can't remember what the hell I've been doing for the last week!!! Did I get drunk or was the beating I took from Mooseheadjack that bad it knocked me screwy for a week? Did you set me up here or what???
Look, when you get this message can you give me a call . . . I need to know where the hell I'm supposed to be, when I need to be there and what's happening when I make it.
I'm off for a beer, speak to you later man.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:08:17 GMT -5
SFJ19: Outback Jack, your thoughts on the matches at Madness?
OBJ: Tommy O'Neil, rookies should be seen and not heard. You're off to a good start here, but you haven't been part of the mania that surrounds a OOWF PPV. The sights, the sounds, the smells...
SFJ19: Smells?
OBJ: Well, not so bad since Grunt left. Anyways, O'Neil has that impressive left hand, but he won't be able to use it if he's locked into the Croc Hunter. Chicks dig the submission moves, ya know! As Harper Camby learned, it's not all about power moves here in the big leagues.
SFJ19: Big leagues?
OBJ: Well, you know what I mean.
SFJ19: Speaking of Harper Camby, what about his match with Beast?
OBJ: Now that should be a great match between 2 of the strongest men in OOWF. Chicks dig the power moves, ya know!
SFJ19: I thought you said...
OBJ: Stop interrupting me. Now the best match of the night could be the 3-way with Gator - he really will have a chance to show his skills against 2 accomplished opponents. Chicks dig the high-flying moves, ya know!
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:08:42 GMT -5
[Revolution XX is walking! They are smiling and messing with personel backstage. Carl hits a guys hat off and he and O'Mac laugh. Both are carrying some presents and walk up to The Establisment's door. They knock and walk in where Mooshead Jack, Johnny Adrenaline, L.D. Williams, and Niles Anderson are sitting.]
Coolname: "Hey hey hey! The greatest Tag Team of all time is here. Please don't applause for us."
[All four men just sit and stare at Carl.]
Coolname: "We are here because today is a special day. Today I was born to a special lady. Carlita Coolname gave birth to me."
[Carl wipes an imaginary tear away. Eric O'Mac hands him a tissue.]
Coolname: "Thank you kind sir. Anyways, the reason we are here is because we want to share this glorius day with all of you. I know you guys had presents for me but please don't give me anything."
[All four men smile and pretend like they did have something but really didn't]
Coolname: "I have something for you guys. Eric pass out the presents."
[O'Mac passes out all the presents and everyone opens it. Inside is a framed picture of Carl Coolname that is signed, "From the greatest wrestler to grace your presence, Carl Coolname"]
Coolname: "TA DA!! So what do you think?"
Jack: "Well......."
Coolname: "No no don't have to thank me guys. I know you're going to go put these on your walls as soon as you get home.
Jack: "Hey guys what about your match tonight? Shouldn't you be more concerned with that?"
Coolname: "Please, why should we worry about the Dragons when you are looking at greatness. Come on Eric let's go give the Ministry my presents!"
[Coolname and O'Mac take off leaving the four sitting wondering what just occured.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:09:13 GMT -5
[Scene continues...]
NA: Did he just say they were going to give the Ministry some presents?
MHJ: L.D., that boy of yours ain't got a lot of sense.
LDW: MY boy? It was Johnny's idea. I'm just the guy who made it happen.
JA: You're damn right it was my idea! Look at those two! They're gonna walk right into the Ministry's locker room with not one drop of fear. Not ONE! And you got questions as to whether we should be rolling with them?
MHJ: Johnny, there ain't no WE. There's you guys, and there's the Establishment. We just having a working relationship right now. A business deal, you can say.
JA: I meant WE as in me and L.D. But since you want to bring yourself into it, why don't you and Niles go down and just barge into the Ministry's locker room? Go ahead.
MHJ: Do you really think we're that stupid?
JA: You're afraid.
MHJ: Johnny, if we show up there right now, your boys will have that much more sac, knowing they got backup. Let me assure you of something, when they open that door and bump into UnderDawg, they're gonna be glad they packed an extra pair of pants... And I'm gonna sit back and laugh. Thing is Johnny, I'm smarter than you. Just remember that. Trust me.
[Moose leaves. Niles gives Johnny a look as if to say "Dumbass" and follows.]
JA: What did I say?
LDW: Let's just calm Carl and Eric down a little. Come on, let's go get them.
JA: And go to the Ministry's locker room? You kiddin'?
[L.D. just looks at Johnny and walks away, leaving Johnny befuddled.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:09:39 GMT -5
*Hardbody Harris sits on a steel chair in his locker room, leaning forward with a remote in his right hand. He’s staring intently at the TV, and the camera zooms in to show that Donovan Viper pinning him from Midweek Mayhem a few months back. He throws the remote through the TV and stands up. Walking toward the cameraman, he brushes him aside as he heads out the door and down the hall, and the cameraman follows. Hardbody walks past the a multitude of stars before heading down out from backstage and down the ramp, his music not playing. The crowd is eerily silent as he finally lumbers his way into the ring and grabs a microphone.*
“I’ve spent the last few hours watching my championship matches, and there have been many. Triple threats, four-way dances, steel cage matches, one-on-one rematches...I’ve probably faced former champ Microplay and current champ Viper more than anyone. There’s been something new in all those matches: interference, ref bumps, cheating, and even a false finish. The one thing they’ve all had in common, though, is that I’ve never walked out as the OOWF champion. Despite all the cheating, shenanigans, and interference, I’ve failed. I’ve never held the title.”
“This weekend is OOWF Madness, and you know what? I’ve never been more insane. Fighting for the belt, I’ve nearly lost my grip on my humanity, my humor, my sense of fun: I have a psychosis that can only be cured by having that belt on my waist. Guys, I’m on my edge here, and I can’t take it anymore. I NEED THAT BELT!”
*Hardbody’s scream awakens a strange rambling, and his next words are filled with vigor and much spitting.*
“No more! No more losing, no more #1 Face, no more anything. Without that belt, I have no business here! Donovan Viper, you listen, and you listen good. We’re stepping into that ring, and I don’t care who gets in my way. Hellion, Corax, Underdawg, 3 Piece Set, The Establishment, or even God himself. There is NO WAY I’m walking out without that title. I don’t care if you bring your chain, I don’t care if all the refs in the world go down. I’m pinning you 1,2,3, and there’s not a damn thing in the world that’s going to stop me.”
*He pauses for a second*
“And if some reason it doesn’t happen, I’m going to have to do the one thing I never thought I’d do.
*He tries to continue, but he can’t. Instead, Hardbody drops his microphone and sullenly walks back up the ramp.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:10:10 GMT -5
(Moosehead Jack is busy studying by the light of his single bulb. He is interrupted by a knock at the door) MHJ: (grumbles) This is NOT the time I wanted to be disturbed........ (he angrily opens the door, where he finds a RapdXpress courier holding an envelope. MHJ snatches the envelope and slams the door) MHJ: (grumbles) This had better be important..... (he rips the envelope open, and finds a single picture) (and a note.....) Get well soon - in advance. This is a warning. Concrete
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:10:43 GMT -5
It is dark, with a flashlight beam shining into the face of Donovan Viper from under his chin. The sounds of chains and electrical buzzing can be heard. He has a mad grin and appears dissheveled.
"Hello, Mr. Harris! How have you been lately? It doesn't seem that you've been doing very.... well.... at all has it?"
Flashlight beam quickly shakes and moves to his upper right temple. Viper looks up towards it and back at the camera.
"Oh, Hardbody Harris... You marvelously handsome and chiseled bastard. It's no secret that I have admired you for quite sometime. Your look, your charisma, your in-ring skills, your way with the way the women. Man, you are a complete package, aren't you?"
Flashlight beam slowly moves further form him, slowly rotating towards the left side of his face. A chain can be seen around Viper's neck.
"It's rare I respect another wrestler outside of my Ministry compadres. I'm a terribly cocky asshole, I know. So it's not often that I can admit to finding another OOWF wrestler who I'm... fond.... of. Someone I can say I respect. Someone that I can say is at least my equal, maybe even better. And certainly you were someone I think of as worthy of challenging me for my world championship title. And here you are, taking me on for my championship for a third time. Maybe the third time will be a charm? Hmm? You think you might finally strike lightning... Hardbody? Hmmm? You better, because I'm not gonna give you another title shot if you lose."
Camera and flashlight beam quickly moves to the white floor where the belt lays.
"But you know... Hardbody...." Camera and flashlight move back to his face as more chains can be heard. "I don't respect you anymore. You've fought me twice now. Lost twice now, too. Couldn't get the job done. Just couldn't beat me, couldn't become the world champion. I really thought you could do it. I wouldn't even be that upset, really. As I said, I did respect you. I wouldn't have lost to a lesser man if I had lost to you... Hardbody."
The camera and flashlight pans out. Viper is wearing a white top. A halogen light flickers on and off. The wall behind him is white.
"Do you know why I can't respect you anymore, Hardbody? Do you know why I no longer admire you, Hardbody? It's because of this... Hardbody..."
A chant is heard. HO-MO! HO-MO! HO-MO! HO-MO!
chains rattle "I'M THE MOTHERF**KING WORLD F**KING CHAMPION! A CHAMPION DOES NOT GET CALLED A HOMO! Everytime I step into the ring with you, I hear the idiots in the audience yell this at me. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE? It drives me up the wall, it drives me crazy that those OOWF fans don't respect me. I don't care that they don't like me, but they don't even respect me. They think I'm a f**got! IT'S F**KING MADNESS! And it's all because of you."
The camera pans out further, and it becomes apparent that Viper is hanging from the chain around his neck.
"But I've been watching you... Hardbody. Oh yeah. I've been watching you closely. Not in some queer way that these moron fans want you to believe. Oh no. I've been seeing you in your downward spiral. You've been going crazy, too. You too are experiencing the insanity. It's so fitting that you and I will have our next - and LAST - match ever at an event named after the place you will end up in when I put you down on the ground, lay my body on top of yours, and make you my bitch."
Halogen lights flicker on and off. Through the flickering, Viper can now be seen hanging from the ceiling in a padded white room with a chain-noose, wearing a straightjacket. Other chains are hanging from the celing. The OOWF World Championship Belt lays on the ground, covered with snakes. The halogen light turns off. The flashlight beam is focused on his upper body.
"Madness. Know it. Touch it. Caress it. Embrace it. Make love to it. It's inside me, and soon, you'll have it inside of you too. It'll hurt. Oh yeah... it'll hurt so much. It will make you cry and it will make you bleed and you will hate every f**king minute of it. Because, Hardbody Harris, YOU... WILL... NOT... TAKE... MY.... F**KING... BELT!"
The lights flicker on and the room is now bright white. The camera rotates around room, away from Viper until it hits a wall where the padding is torn up. Lizards and spiders can be seen crawling on this wall. Written in black spraypaint on the wall:
I AM NOT A HOMO BUT I WILL F(blurred)K YOU HARD
"I'm waiting for you, Hardbody. I just can't wait to see you again. You will lose that loving feeling. And you'll be gone, gone, gone. Woah woah woah. HAHAHHAAAHHAHAHAHHA!"
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:11:09 GMT -5
Semaj rings back the number on the caller ID.
SB: Come on, come on Thim, answer. I 'ate playing phone tag.
Female voice answers. FV: Hello Three Seasons hotel how may I direct your call?
SB: Three seasons, don't you mean Four Seasons?
FV: Sir that is another hotel and if you calling to disparage our establishment or to file suit on behalf of the Four Seasons, be informed that our legal retainers of Schwindler and Schister are already handling the case...
SB: No, no nothing like that pigeon, I just wanted to leave a message for a guest you 'ave, Thim Reynolds.
FV: What is your name and message sir?
SB: Bondutahajaranishta, Semaj Bondutahajaranishta. Please inform 'im that 'e needs to be at Truth or Consequences, New Mexico this Sunday @ 5p.m. local time and that 'e will team with me against the most vile, back stabbing team of rotton sods F.F. Capslock and Stank. 'e should be prepared to deliver a beating to those two wankers. Thank you that would be all.
FV: Alright sir and this will be to which guest?
SB: Thim Reynolds.
FV: Hmmm, I don't see his name on our guest list.
SB: You sure, this is the number he rang me from.
FV: Quite sure sir, is there perhaps another name your friend is listed under?
SB: No, no I don't think so...
FV: Well sir I can hold onto this message and if your friend shows up I'll give it to him.
SB: Thank you Love, please do that.
After Semaj hangs up, he turns to find himself face to face with Moosehead Jack. Jack grabs Semaj by the lapels of his jacket lifting him and slamming him into the locker behind him.
MHJ: So you and the rest of the jack-off AYUFF would like to challenge the Establishment? You think that you can challenge ME? Intimidate ME? SCARE ME?!?!?!?? Son you don't know what intimidation is, you don't know what pain is, you don't know what trechery is...but you will. Trust me.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:12:36 GMT -5
(just a quick note, this is shorter than usual, and there is no commentery. I was out of town this weekend and basically had to type the whole thing Sunday evening and Monday morning) OOWF MADNESS PPV [Shot opens to a dark, empty gymnasium, and the camera slowly zooms in on the lone basketball goal at the far end of the gym. A ball swishes through the net. Then another. And another. And another. And another. After the sixth swish, the camera quickly does a 180 to see Johnny Adrenaline, Intercontinental Title around his waist, spinning a ball on his finger. JA: What's so mad about this? Johnny shoots the ball and we hear another swish. Johnny laughs and walks into the darkness.] BEAST vs. HARPER CAMBY Beast and Camby circle and lock up. Neither man can budge the other, clean break, followed by a test of strength. Camby immediately gains the advantage by kicking Beast in the mid-section. Camby clubs away on Beast’s back, and stomps away with brutal kicks. Camby waits for Beast to get to one knee, then levels him with a kick to the head. Camby covers and gets one before Beast gets a shoulder up. Camby whips Beast into the ropes, pulls him back and catches him with a power slam. Another cover gets a two count. Camby pulls Beast up and whips him to the corner, Camby follows him in but Beast explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. Camby hits the mat hard. Beast mounts Camby and pounds away, finally breaking when the ref threatened disqualification. Beast pulls Camby to his feet, and hauls him up in a vertical suplex. In a display of amazing strength Beast walks around the ring, then turns it into a jackhammer. Beast covers, but Camby somehow rolls his shoulder at two. As Camby is recovering, Beast notices Tommy O’Neil making his way to ringside. Beast gets distracted for a moment jawing with O’Neil. Camby tries to attack from behind but Beast ducks and levels Camby with a boot to the face. O’Neil jumps up on the apron, Beast grabs O’Neil by the throat, but Tommy grabs Beast’s head and jumps off the apron, snapping Beast’s head down across the top rope. Beast staggers backward, Camby, now back on his feet, lifts Beast and destroys him with a corkscrew brain buster. Camby covers and Beast can’t quite kick out in time. Camby gets the three count. WINNER in 7:29 Harper Camby After the match, Camby and O’Neil acknowledge each other, then O’Neil heads to the back. TOMMY O’NEIL vs. OUTBACK JACK Outback Jack comes to the ring first, to the cheers of the crowd. O’Neil makes his second appearance of the night, and is nearly booed out of the arena. Tommy attacks before the bell and takes out Jack’s knee with a chop block. Jack goes to the eyes, and quickly recovers. Both men brawl around the ring, the action spills out of the ring. Tommy charges at Jack, but Jack moves and drop toe holds O’Neil into the ring steps. Tommy collapses in a heap. OBJ rolls back into the ring. As Jack recovers in the ring, Tommy is slow to get to his feet on the outside, his face a crimson mask of blood. As he tries to get back into the ring, Jack nails him with a baseball slide. Tommy hits the floor with a thud. Jack stalks his prey, waiting for Tommy to get back to his feet. As he does, Jack levels him with a clothesline. Jack dumps Tommy back into the ring, quickly following him in. As soon as he gets to his feet, Jack drops an elbow across the back of Tommy’s neck and locks on the cross face. Tommy keeps rolling through the move, but Jack keeps it locked on. Finally Tommy makes it to the ropes and Jack is forced to break the hold. Tommy slides out of the ring, again Jack follows not letting Tommy catch his breath. Jack bounces Tommy’s head off the apron, then the guardrail. Jack rolls a dazed O’Neil back into the ring. Before he can roll into the ring himself, Harper Camby attacks on the outside and F-5’s Jack on the concrete floor. GatorBait quickly comes to his partner’s aid and he and Camby brawl back to the back. Jack slowly gets back in the ring. As he gets to his feet, Tommy nails him with a devastating left. Jack hits the mat, the lights are out. O’Neil locks on the Gaelic clover leaf, the ref drops Jack’s arm three times and calls for the bell. WINNER in 12:42 Tommy O’Neil GIMMICKMAN vs. GATORBAIT vs. JW WESTGAARD Gimmick and Westgaard start off, Gator is nowhere to be found. Gimmick gets the better of the lock up and takes JWW off his feet and traps him in a fujiwara arm bar. Westgaard works to his knees and rolls Gm on his back in a pinning position. Gimmick releases the hold and escapes at two. As both men get to their feet, JWW grabs GM and takes him over with a side headlock. Gimmick quickly gets up and shoves Westgaard to the ropes, JWW drops GM with a clothesline from hell. Cover gets a two count. Westgaard gets Gimmick to his feet and sends him to the ropes; he follows with a high back body drop. Gimmick rolls out of the ring, Westgaard turns and sees Gator staggering toward the ring, a bloody gash above his eye, likely the result of his brawl with Camby. With Westgaard distracted by Gator, GM rolls back in the ring and rolls Westgaard up from behind. Westgaard kicks out at two. Gator makes to the apron, but Gimmick knocks him to the floor. As he turns around Westgaard knees him in the midsection and hits a tilt-a-whirl power bomb for another two count. Once again Gator is trying to get into the ring, JWW nails him in the face with a baseball slide. Gator crashes to the floor again. With JWW on the mat after the baseball slide, Gimmick drops a knee across his sternum. Another cover gets another two count. Gimmick pulls Westgaard to his feet and stuns him with a series of European uppercuts. Gator has once again fought his way to the apron. Gimmick tries a whip to the ropes, JWW reverses it, Gimmick slams into Gator, Gator collapses to the floor, Westgaard is able to roll Gimmick up with a school boy and get a three count. WINNER in 13:46 JW Westgaard FF CAPSLOCK & STANK vs. THIM REYNOLDS & SEMAJ B. Capslock and Stank waste no time and attack before the bell rings. Thim still looks like crap after his lost week and his match with Moosehead Jack. Stank pounds away on SB, trapping him in a corner. FFC whips Thim in to the ropes and catches him with a brutal spine buster. Semaj finally fights out of the corner, knocking Stank to his knee with judo chops and karate thrusts to the throat. He no sooner has Stank in trouble when Capslock comes out of nowhere and crushes him back in the corner with a huge avalanche. Stank throws Thim out of the ring and the duo focuses their attention on Semaj B. Capslock scoops SB up and walks around the ring with him, finally planting him with a mighty power slam. Tag to Stank who comes in and drops a meaty leg across SB’s sternum. Stank pulls SB to his feet, picks him up with a two-handed choke, and only drops him when the ref starts to motion for the disqualification. Stank casually tags Capslock who comes in and tries to pick up the fallen SB. Semaj nails a low blow, dropping FFC to his knees. Semaj is to his feet and levels FFC with a ghetto blaster. Semaj leaps toward his corner, just making a desperate tag to Thim. Thim comes in and cleans house, knocking Stank off the apron with a running elbow, then drops FFC with a low dropkick to the face. Thim locks on the Reflex-o-Lock, FFC fades, when he is almost out, Thim makes the tag to SB, then bounds off the ropes for the finishing clothesline to the back of the head. As Thim hits the ropes, Stank low bridges him and Thim flips over the ropes to the floor. Stank grabs Thim and shoots him face first into the steel ring post. Inside the ring, Semaj B has FFC trapped in the Octopussy. Capslock looks like he might have to tag when Stank makes it into the ring to save his partner. Stank kills Semaj with a knee to the back of the head. Stank whips SB into the corner and follows him in with a titanic clothesline/body splash. FFC catches the staggering Semaj with a choke slam; Stank quickly follows it with a Stankonia. FFC knocks Thim off the apron and Stank gets the three count. WINNERS in 11:02 FF Capslock & Stank LD WILLIAMS vs. MARK VANDER Vander is accompanied to the ring by his management team. Williams waits in the corner, and as Vander gets to the apron, Williams attacks from behind knocking Vander to the floor. Williams presses his advantage by slamming Vander into the ring steps and then into the post. Williams pulls a chain out of his boot and pounds away at Vander’s head leaving him a bloody mess on the floor. Williams rolls Vander onto the Apache Announce Table and delivers a devastating DDT through the table. Williams rolls Vander back into the ring and makes a sloppy cover. Vander is able to get his foot on the ropes before the three count. Williams pulls Vander to his feet, hits the ropes and charges at a dazed Vander. Vander saves himself by countering with a big power slam. Both men are down, but Williams is able to get to his feet first. LDW tries to pull Vander to his feet; Vander grabs Williams by the back of the head and drops him with a chin buster. Now it is Vander’s turn to take over the match. Vander sends Williams to the ropes, follows closely behind him and takes him over the top rope with an elbow to the head. Vander follows Williams to the outside and uses a piece of the table to open a gash on Williams’ head. Williams keeps Vander from tearing out his eyes by raking Vander’s eyes. Vander staggers back into the ring, Williams slides in on the opposite side with a chair. When Williams charges with the chair, Vander is able to get a boot up sending the hair slamming back into Williams’ face. Williams staggers but will not go down. Vander explodes out of the corner with a clothesline from Hell. Vander falls on Williams, hooks both legs and gets the three count. WINNER in 14:52 Mark Vander ENDO & MORTE vs. HELLION & CORAX Endo and Corax start off, Corax grabs a side headlock, Endo wastes no time sending him to the ropes, Corax makes a blind tag on his way to the ropes. Endo ducks, Corax leapfrogs and stops. Hellion comes in and dropkicks Endo in the back sending him into a t-bone suplex from Corax. Hellion springs to the top rope and connects on Endo with a missile dropkick. The cover is broken up at two by Morte. Hellion pulls Endo to his feet and tries a whip; Endo reverses it, holds on and pulls Hellion back toward him. Endo knees him in the mid section and takes him over with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Endo covers, it is broken up at two by Corax. Endo tags Morte who springboards into the ring and catches Hellion wit ha leg lariat. Morte drops a knee across Hellion’s face then grinds the knee into his face as he argues with the referee. Morte pulls Hellion up and whips him into the corner. While Morte distracts the ref, Endo chokes Hellion with the tag rope. Hellion staggers out of the corner and eats a Morte super kick. Morte covers, Corax once again makes the save. Morte tags Endo again, Endo rushes in and clubs Hellion repeatedly until Hellion collapses to the mat. Endo pulls Hellion up by the hair and whips him to the corner and follows him in with a knee. Endo pine Hellion in the corner and gnaws on his forehead trying to draw blood. The match goes back and forth for a while with neither team able to gain a distinct advantage. Finally all four are brawling in the ring, Corax and Morte are brawling outside the ring, inside Hellion and Endo are both down. Hellion is up first, as Endo gets to his knees, Hellion nails him with a shining wizard and climbs the ropes. Outside Corax charges at Morte, leaping off the stairs. Morte ducks and Corax slams into the ring post. Morte jumps up on the apron and pushes Hellion off the top rope. Hellion crashes to the mat. Endo gets to his knees and locks on the claw. Outside Morte nails Corax with the Juvi-driver. Hellion fights the claw, blood pouring don his face, but is finally forced to tap. WINNERS in 25:25 Endo & Morte MICROPLAY vs. BLADE Blade and Ayaka come out to hearty boos; Microplay comes out to the wild cheers of the fans. Microplay looks a little surprised. As Micro gets into the ring, Blade tries to blind-side him. Micro ducks the attack and peppers Blade with lefts and rights, finally leveling him with a big right hand that sends Blade out of the ring. That leaves Micro in the ring with Ayaka. Ayaka pleads for MP to spare her, MP approaches her slowly, and after a second it looks like MP and Ayaka are going to kiss! MP grabs Ayaka and just before he plants a lip lock on her, he lifts her in a press slam and throws her over the top rope right onto Blade. MP follows the projectile out of the ring and attacks Blade, pummeling him with shots to the head. Blade flees and MP gives chase around the ring. Blade rolls in first, as MP follows, Blade hits him with a flying clothesline. Blade hammers away on MP, whipping him from corner to corner and following him in with clotheslines. Blade gets a near fall after hitting MP with a brain buster. Micro gets out at two. Blade tries another whip but MP reverses it into a diamond cutter. Micro takes over, scooping Blade up and running him into the corner first, then turns it into a power slam. MP stops for a moment and acknowledges the roar of the crowd. As Blade slowly gets to his feet, MP comes off the ropes with a double axe handle to the back. MP then picks up Blade and hits a devastating pile driver. Ayaka tries to get involved, getting to the apron, but MP just bumps her off the apron to the floor. MP climbs the ropes and hits a flying elbow from all the way across the ring. The cover and three count are academic. WINNER in 10:00 Microplay REVOLUTION XX vs. THE DRAGONS Coolname and Eric ambush the Dragons as they come out onto the ramp. Eric and BD slug it out on one side and Coolname and SD battle on the other side. BD gets the better of Eric and drops him with a double leg take down and locks on the ankle lock. Coolname sees this, low blows SD and rushes to his partner’s aid. Coolname hits BD right under the jaw with a super kick, knocking him off of Eric and knocking him goofy as well. The two turn their attention to SD, Eric and Carl double power bomb SD on the metal ramp. BD is slowly making it back to his feet; Eric and Carl wait for him, then nearly cut him in half with Total Elimination. As Eric goes back and walks SD toward the ring, Carl gets BD to his feet and hits another super kick, this time knocking BD off the stage and down a good 15-20 feet through a wooden announce table to the concrete floor below. Carl stands and looks at his handiwork for a moment, seems pleased and heads to the ring to help Eric. Inside the ring, EOM is brutally stomping SD in the face. Every time SD tries to get to his feet, EOM levels him with another kick. Carl gets in the ring and the two take turns stomping away on SD. Carl throws SD over the top rope and follows him to the outside. As EOM keeps the ref distracted, Carl lifts SD and pile drives him on the concrete floor. For good measure he slams a chair down across SD’s head. This has been a mugging. Carl rolls SD back into the ring then sets him up on the top rope. EOM hits a top rope hurracarana. SD is out. Carl picks him up, and for good measure hits a tiger driver on the steel chair. EOM follows it with a frog splash, both men put their foot on SD’s chest and the ref counts three. WINNERS in 5:39 Revolution XX NILES ANDERSON vs. CHRIS ALT – Ambulance Match There is no semblance of a wrestling match in this one; it is an all out brawl from the start. Alt attacks to start with a fury we haven’t seen from him. Alt lays into Niles with chops, backing him into a corner, then choking him with both hands. Niles frees himself with a rake to the eyes and tries to come out of the corner with a clothesline, but Alt drops him with a drop toe hold and mounts Niles raining shots to his head. The two roll outside and the brawl continues around the ring. Niles manages to get away from Alt for a moment and smashes him in the head with a glass bottle. Alt falls to the floor, and comes back up a bloody mess. The sight of his own blood infuriates him and Alt attacks again, picking up a chair and just missing Niles head. Niles ducks the chair shot, kicks Alt and drops him with a DDT on the chair. Niles drags Alt back toward the waiting ambulance, just before he gets to it, Alt wiggles free, spins Niles around and blasts him in the face with a right hand. Alt grabs a piece of chain that is conveniently lying around and pummels Niles in the face. Soon Niles is a bloody mess. The match works its way back into the catacombs of the arena, into the parking lot, then finally back toward the ambulance. You can hardly recognize either man, their faces are covered in blood, as are their chests and fists. As they are brawling wildly back stage near the ambulances both men are getting weak from blood loss and the massive beating they have taken. Alt tries a tiger driver; Niles reverses it to a backdrop, then murders Alt with a chair shot. Niles staggers over to the waiting ambulance and throws open the doors. Niles stops in shock and stares for a moment. Inside the ambulance is the girl he brutally Steed-D-T’d! She just glares at Niles. Niles stands there dumbfounded for a moment, Alt gets back to his feet, spins Niles around and slams him in the head with a shovel. The shovel makes a sickening hollow thunk off of Niles head and he collapses to the floor out cold. Alt picks up Niles limp body and throws him in the ambulance, the girls helps him slam the door and the ref declares Alt the winner! WINNER in 52:22 Chris Alt 3PIECE SET vs. BRAD SMOLEY & SMARK – OOWF TAG TITLE MATCH Smoley and Smark come out as…. themselves. Wow, that seems odd. The two seem determined to make a statement, or they're both constipated, one or the other. 3Piece Set hits the ring and attack. Cole bits Smoley with a bolo punch that knocks him from the ring; Ax sends Smark to the ropes and catches him with a wicked spine buster. Cole hits the ropes and drops a knee across Smark’s face. Smoley is back on the apron; Ax runs over and blasts him between the eyes, knocking him to the floor. Ax follows him out and brutalizes Smoley on the floor. Inside Cole sends Smark to the ropes and catches him with a high knee right to the jaw, Smark writhes in pain on the mat. Cole climbs the ropes and waits patiently for Smark to get to his feet. Outside the ring we hear the familiar sound of chair on skull, the camera pans over and sure enough Ax is holding a chair and Smoley is on the floor with blood pouring out of his head. Cole is momentarily distracted allowing Smark to get to his feet and crotch Cole on the top rope. Smark rushes to the corner and tries to lift Cole for a superplex. As he is trying to get Cole over, Ax runs back into the ring and runs under Smark, setting Smark square on his shoulders. Ax takes a few steps backward, then Cole dives of off the top and connects with a clothesline. Smark does a 360 in the air and lands face first on the mat. Cole goes to the outside and mounts Smoley and pounds away at his face some more. Inside, Ax whips Smark into the ropes, knees him in the midsection and drops him with a big power bomb. Ax scales the ropes and connects with a moonsault. Ax doesn’t even try a pin, even though Smark is out. Instead Ax snarls at the crowd for a moment, then locks on the figure four. Smark fights for a moment, but then is forced to tap. Of course Ax does not break the hold, and Cole runs in and bounds off the ropes and hits a big splash on Smark’s legs, nearly breaking them in the process. WINNERS in 4:29 and still OOWF World Tag Team Champions 3Piece Set After the match, Revolution XX and Hellion and Corax run in. Revolution XX attack Cole with vicious chair shots to the head. Hellion and Corax single out Ax, they both jump him and pound until he is down on the mat. Hellion and Corax spike pile driver Ax leaving him lying in the center of the ring. Revolution XX destroy Cole with Total Revolution (total elimination) and leave him a bloody mess in the ring. Revolution XX and Hellion & Corax stare at each other for a moment, then RevXX leaves the ring. JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match Attitude is the aggressor in this match, keeping Johnny off balance for much of the match with some old school mat wrestling. Anytime Johnny would get an advantage, AA takes him down and ties him up in a submission move. AA nearly gets a quick pin when he counters an Adrenaline clothesline attempt into a back slide. Johnny is finally able to take over when AA misses a drop kick, Adrenaline pounces on AA driving knees into the back of his head. Johnny works over the neck, trying to soften it up for the Adrenaline Rush. Johnny locks AA in the Tree of Woe, slides out of the ring and grabs his three iron and uses it to pull back on AA’s head, choking him in the process. The match is back and forth for almost thirty minutes; both men escape numerous pinning attempts. The end comes when AA has Johnny locked in the claw. Johnny is bleeding heavily and fading fast. With his last remaining strength, Johnny lunges and reaches the ropes, AA is forced to break the hold, Johnny collapses to the mat and rolls out to the floor. Johnny slowly recovers, and grabs his three irons as he slides back in the ring. Johnny gets to his feet, takes a mighty swing, AA easily ducks, when Johnny spins all the way around, AA catches him and hot shots him off the top rope. The three iron goes flying; Johnny flops backward on the mat. AA picks up the club and lines it up next to Johnny’s head, takes a mighty back swing, and stops just short of hitting Johnny and drawing the DQ. AA tosses the club aside and makes the cover. Adrenaline rolls the shoulder at two. Both men back to their feet; AA whips Johnny to the ropes and traps him in an abdominal stretch. Johnny is trapped in the middle of the ring, there is no chance of him making it to the ropes, and it seems like he doesn’t have the strength to counter the hold. Johnny inches forward toward the golf club. AA is focusing so hard on the win that he doesn’t even notice it. Johnny grabs the club and swings. The club slams AA right between the eyes. Attitude falls backward, out cold, Johnny collapses to the mat, and the ref calls for the bell. WINNER by DQ in 38:57 – Attitude Adjuster After the bell, Johnny uses the club to get to his feet, then absolutely DESTROYS the club on Attitude, leaving AA a bloody mess in the ring. Johnny grabs his title and staggers to the back as paramedics check on AA. MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. CONCRETE TG – Barbed Wire steel cage weapons match The crew finishes constructing the cage; it is a steel mesh cage with barbed wire strands laced through out the mesh. In each corner sits a garbage can of plunder sitting nicely on top of a steel chair. As soon as the cage is locked Jack attacks. This is another one that will in no way resemble a wrestling match. Within five minutes the ring is littered with plunder and Jack and Concrete are already bleeding. Concrete catches Jack with an elbow right between the eyes, then runs Jack into the barbed wire ad cage. The barbs tear at the flesh on Jack’s back and arms. As Jack frees himself, Concrete catches him with a power slam. CTG doesn’t even go for a cover. Instead Concrete bashes Jack’s head with the garbage can. Jack eventually gains the upper hand using damn near everything in the ring to hurt Concrete. Jack breaks two kendo sticks across Concrete’s face leaving him a horrific bloody mess. Jack climbs the ropes in the middle of the cage, this is no escape, so I’m not sure what he is doing. Concrete quickly joins him and the two battle it out precariously balanced on the ropes. Jack gets the better of it by grinding Concrete’s face into the barbed wire and cage. Concrete falls to the mat, as he does, Jack falls down as well getting caught in the ropes. Jack is helpless, both arms pinned in the ropes. With Jack trapped in the ropes, Concrete grabs a chair and slowly walks toward Jack. Jack looks up at Concrete and grins an evil grin through his mask of blood. Concrete stares at Jack, then stares at the chair and starts to drop the chair. Jack screams, “DO IT, DO IT you spineless piece of shit!” Concrete seems reluctant, Jack presses “Damn it you coward piece of shit, do it, you know you want to. How did that match with Viper go last week?” Concrete glares at Moose, getting more and more angry. “How ya feeling after the Establishment beat your ass last week. DO IT! You know you want to! How’s that Intercontinental title looking right about now. Pussy!” With that, Concrete snaps, with a wild, crazed look in his eyes, he swings the chair down on Jack’s head, time and time again until Moose is barely conscious, remaining upright only because he is trapped in the ropes. Concrete frees Jack, pulls him to his feet, then levels him with another crushing chair shot. Jack falls to the mat, Concrete covers and gets the three count. WINNER in 29:47 Concrete TG After the match Concrete walks slowly up the ramp, turning to look at the ring, he watches Jack pull himself to his feet using the ropes. Jack glares at Concrete and begins to laugh. Concrete stares at his bloody hands for a moment then walks to the back. Jack staggers out of the ring; finally Endo and Morte come out and help Jack to the back. UNDERDAWG vs. CANADIAN DRAGON – Ultimate Hell match The Ultimate Hell match will take place inside a steal cage. Surrounding that cage is a Hell In a cell cage with opening on each side of the roof. On top of that cage, is another cage, this time with no ceiling. Instead, two steel scaffolds run through the cage, forming an X. Suspended from that X is OOWF Championship belt. Dawg and Dragon do a stare down to start, and UnderDawg gives CD a slap that spins him around...but CD keeps spinning and hits a wicked spinning dragon kick and it looks like UD has been opened up the hard way. Dawg looks pissed and tosses Dragon through the first cage! On the outside UnderDawg with some stiffs shots to Dragon, and his white mask is starting to turn red as well. UnderDawg picks up Dragon and rams him face first into the outside cage! The crowd seems to like that so he does it again. UnderDawg repeats again as the crowd counts along. After the tenth time Dragon looks dead against the cage. UnderDawg charges at Dragon, but he hits a drop toehold into the cage. Dragon suplexes UnderDawg on the floor, but Dawg flips out of that and Dragon gets raked on the UNFORGIVING STEEL MESH OF DEATH and bleeds. The front of Dragon's mask is pretty much torn off after that. Choke slam to the floor and UD starts to climb but Dragon pulls him back down. Dawg just shrugs him off and goes to climb again, but CD nails him with a steal chair. Dragon keeps up with the chair shots and the crowd is counting along again. Dragon looks under the ring and finds a case of Molson Canadian. He opens a bottle up and drinks about half the beer before breaking the bottle over UnderDawg's head! The crowd pops huge for that and Canadian Dragon repeats the process again. CD takes a little too long for the third attempt though, as UD blocks and smashes the bottle over Dragons head. UnderDawg takes the opening as Dragon stumbles and manages to scale the cage to the 2nd level. He goes for the ladder as Dragon climbs the cage. UnderDawg looks to be going for the belt, but decides to use the ladder as a battering ram on Dragon. Dragon ducks and manages to get a reverse DDT on UnderDawg. Dragon goes for a hurricaranna, but UD blocks it, pulling Dragon back up and delivering an alley-up lifting Dragons head into the scaffold. UD grabs a ladder and goes for the belt. Dragon up the other side and it's a slugfest on the top. Finally Dragon manages to block a blow, and goes for another hurricarana...and this one hits sending both men crashing to the top of the first cage. UD up first, so he whoops Dragon's ass for a bit, and then whoops Dragon's ass some more. UD hits a choke slam and looks kinds shocked that the roof of the cell didn't give way. He goes for another choke slam, but gets his foot caught in the cage and Dragon hits a modified diamond cutter out of nowhere. Dragon picks up UD and hits a pile driver. The crowd asks for one more, so Dragon grants their wish. Dragon goes for another pile driver but gets back dropped. UD has his footing now and hits the flying clothesline. Both men have chairs now and go swing for the fences, but just send each other to opposite sides of the cage, practically landing on ladder. Both men seem to have the same idea, and then grab the ladders and climb up on top of the scaffolding, and UnderDwag is up slowly after him. UnderDwag with more stiff blows to Dragons head as they head toward the center of the X. CD ducks a punch and locks on the Dragon Sleeper! UnderDawg is down on one knee and looks to be fading! He reaches down and grabs for the OOWF title and Dragon pulls him back up. While doing so, Dragons footing slips and he releases the hold. UD sees the opening and locks on a choke lock. UD with an evil look in his eye and lifts CD up and tosses him from the X through the opening in the cell to the ring! The entire ring gives as Dragon goes crashing through it! UnderDawg kneels down on one knee and reaches through the scaffolding and retrieves the OOWF title belt at 45:07. WINNER in 45: 07 UnderDawg OOWF official are working frantically on the lock on the cage to get to Dragon. UnderDawg looks down at the carnage he has created and slowly climbs down the side of the cell. His music plays as they show a replay of Dragon going through the ring and it falling apart on impact. The camera closes in on UnderDawg's face as he looks at the ring. All of a sudden there's a roar from the crowd as Canadian Dragon is back on his feet! UnderDawg grins as he holds up the OOWF title, then in and odd moment, drops to one knee and raise the belt up. Dragon drops to a knee as well and takes up a similar pose. HARDBODY HARRIS vs. DONOVAN VIPER – OOWF World Title Match Harris comes to the ring and doesn’t even acknowledge the crowd; he just stares intently at the ring. Viper comes out carrying a straight jacket. He gets in the ring and taunts HH with the jacket; Harris just steps right up to Viper and slaps him across the face. It’s on. Harris starts the match with some solid technical wrestling, he takes Viper to the mat and grabs the leg and begins working the knee. Your typical big match back and forth wrestling follows. After thirty minutes of action things begin heating up. Harris has Viper stunned and tries a TBEIL, as Harris lifts Viper, he accidentally kicks the ref. The ref goes down. Harris has Viper pinned for about ten seconds, but there is no ref. Finally another ref shows up and makes a two count, but Viper is able to kick out at two. Harris is furious. He throws Viper over the top rope and argues with the referee. Harris goes outside to get Viper and DV explodes up off the floor leveling Harris with a chain wrapped death elbow. Viper hides the chain and slides back into the ring content to take the count out. Harris slowly gets up; he is bleeding heavily from the forehead. The ref is at nine when Harris slides under the bottom rope. Viper attacks again, stomping away at Harris. Despite the brutal kicks, Harris is slowly working his way to his feet. Finally Harris is all the way to his feet, glaring at Viper. DV tries another shot, Harris blocks it and goes to work on Viper. Harris backs Donnie into the corner and sits him on the top rope; a big superplex is followed by a two count. Viper is just able to get his foot on the ropes. Viper jumps to his feet and Harris catches him with a belly to back suplex and bridges to a pin. The other ref has recovered and both refs’ make the three count! Harris wins! But wait! One ref raises Viper’s arms, the other raises Harris’ arm. A third ref comes down and the three refs argue, Donnie remains with the ref’s arguing his point, Harris slumps against the ropes. Just then, two guys in masks pull Harris out of the ring and beat him mercilessly with lead pipes. One man unleashes a wicked left hook that staggers Harris; the other picks him up and levels him with a pump handle slam on the floor. The two roll Harris back into the ring and disappear. The ref’s finally decide to continue the match as both men’s shoulders were down. Viper walks over to Harris, who is barely moving, and lies across him like he was lounging in a chair by the pool. Harris uses his remaining strength to hook Vipers arms and rolls him over in a crucifix. Viper barely escapes, then puts the boots to Harris. DV lifts Harris and goes for a sidewinder, Harris reverses out of the move and nails a TO BE EDITED IN LATER, but Harris is too weak to capitalize immediately. He slowly crawls across the ring and drapes an arm across Viper. One……..two…….thre Viper gets a shoulder up. Harris looks devastated. Hardbody slowly gets to his feet and tries to pull Viper up, DV nails Harris with a low blow, then rolls Harris up, Viper puts both feet on the ropes AND grabs a hand full of tights and gets a very tainted three count. WINNER in 44:29 and still OOWF World Champion – Donovan Viper Hardbody starts moving; the blood still pouring from his forehead, and slowly lifts himself up by the ring ropes. He falls several times, and looks as if he’s about to pass out. Still, he waves off help from ringside officials and eventually staggers to his feet, grabbing a microphone as he rises. He stumbles around while the crowd starts cheering and chanting his name. Blood in his eyes, he wipes it away (as if it were tears) and takes a longing look at the fans who are still cheering despite, or perhaps because of, the effort put into his loss. He raises a hand and they go silent.*
*He looks around some more, then looks around his waist, then up to the sky. He takes a deep breath, and utters a single word.*
“Goodbye.”
*He drops the microphone and keeps his head down the entire way as he heads from the ring. The crowd pleads for him, yells his name, but he doesn’t respond. At the top of the ramp, he turns around, takes one last look, and gives one wave. His music kicks in at the chorus, and Hardbody Harris disappears, for perhaps the last time, through the curtain.*
*As the show closes, the screen fades to black to the sound of Hardbody’s music.
You’ve lost that loving feeling And now you’re gone Gone Gone Whoah whoah whoah whoah whoah* The camera cuts to the back where it is focused on a door that says OOWF GM. We see someone enter the room, but we can only see him from the waist down, He is grumbling about something and carrying a leather brief case with FLIGHT RISK stenciled on it. The mysterious man slams the door and we fade to black. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! Live, March 30th, Live! From Gun Barrel City, Texas for the OOWF Six Month Anniversary Show! And be sure to check out the OOWF Blood on the Walls PPV, Live April 24th from Dismal, Tennessee!
For more details, check out our website! oowf.pantslessfury.com/oowf !
And for all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts for t-shirts, coffee mugs and hats of your favorite OOWF stars!
This has been an OOWF production, produced by the Big-Black-Tar-Jack production company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:13:09 GMT -5
*exclusive bonus footage on the soon to be released Madness DVD shows Chris Alt backstage after his ambulance match, getting his wounds stitched up by the trainers*
CA: Ow, dude! SH*T!
T: Sorry Chris... there are still fragments of glass in here from that bottle he smashed you with. You knew this match was going to be brutal.
*Sexy Female Journalist #5 enters the room*
SFJ5: Chris, is this a good time to try to get a quick word?
CA: Oh, sure. I'm always at my most introspective and articulate when I'm having shards of glass removed from my eyebrow.
SFJ5: Well, I just wanted to talk to you about that mystery woman. What is the relationship between you and this girl? She had a major assist in your victory over Niles Anderson tonight. Will we be seeing more of her?
CA: Our relationship, as you put it, was based on a mutual desire to see Niles Anderson in enormous amounts of pain, and for him to suffer the agony of being defeated by me in front of hundreds of thousands on pay per view. And anyway, the girl is in a neck brace, do YOU think we'll be seeing more of her?
SFJ5: Not your type, huh?
CA: She has a boyfriend.
SFJ5: Ah. So what's next on your agenda now that your issue with the Specimen has been settled?
CA: Well, I still have a score to settle with Revolution XX. particularly my former tag team partner Carl Coolname. And I still have some unfinished business with Moosehead Jack. And I hear Johnny Adrenaline has been running his mouth, so if he's feeling froggy, then maybe we'll step in the ring in the not too distant future and let him leap. But ultimately, my focus is on Donovan Viper and his belt. Viper, you may be able to cheat your way past Hardbody Harris and Beast, but anytime you have the balls to step into the ring with the one superstar here that you KNOW can defeat you clean on ANY given night, you just let me know, because I'm itching to take that title away from you.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:14:46 GMT -5
sfj #47 catches up with JW Westgaard as he's heading to the locker room:
sfj47: So JW what are your thoguths on the match you had with Gimmickman And GatorBait to night?
JWW: that was a helluva lot of fun...too bad Gator got shortchanged thought with Camby screwing him over. YOu know what? I think he deserves a rematch, Gator I know you got hosed, so next week at Mayhem you want a one on one match its all yours dude, until then I've got to Catch up on NCAA Frozen Four, GO GOPHERS!
JWW walks off into the Locker room
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:15:17 GMT -5
Underdawg, Corax, and Hellion are in the Ministry locker room. Underdawg has wiped off most of the blood from his head, but has a lot of dried blood on his chest and wrestling gear. The old OOWF belt is on his shoulder
H: Great job Big Dawg. Man, you had one hell of a fight tonight. But you got the gold back to the Ministry!
C: Hell yeah, boss! Great job! We knew you could do it. Now it's our turn to get back out gold. Too bad we tripped up tonight.
UD: Thank you both. That Canadian Dragon is one tough son of a bitch. He took me to level that very few in this company have been able to do. He kept up with me, blow for blow in the Ultimate Hell match. He took that beating like a man, and kept beating me back. For that, he's earned my respect.
UD: And don't worry, Corax. Although you didn't win your match tonight, you made sure to keep your nose in the title hunt by making sure 3 Pieces of S**t don't forget your presence. We'll train together, come up with some strategies to get the titles back where they belong.
H & C: Hell yeah! Damn right!
Just now Viper barges into the Ministry locker room with the broken OOWF belt on his shoulder. He is obviously winded, bruised, but has a wild grin on his face.
DV: Did you see that? Did you see that guys? I just made Harris leave the company. Haha. That bastard couldn't take that I'm just better then his ass. Handsome and chiseled? He's just ugly and bloated now. He's gonna go off the deep end, I just know it. And who did it? Who got rid of the #1 Face in the OOWF? Me. Donovan Viper. The World F**king Champion!
C: Good job, bro! You truly are the champ! In a certain sense, you could say that we have both champs right here in the Ministry!
DV: I'm the champ, buddy. Boss Dawg here, he won the old belt, and he's awesome as hell - you are awesome, Boss, but I'm the world champ. But hey, great job on the victory Big Dawg. You went through hell in that match, but you got the belt back to the Ministry, just like you said you would.
Viper pats Underdawg on the shoulder as he says this, ending up with his hand on the plate of the old OOWF belt. Underdawg looks at where his hand is, then slowly back at Viper. Viper moves his hand away from the belt.
UD: Did you ever have any doubt?
DV: No way, boss. That's why you're the boss. You get sh*t done around here.
UD: Very good. Now let's go celebrate. There's a bar here in Truth or Consequences named after a legendary wrestler apparently. Cactus Jackson or something. I hear this was his home town.
DV: Sounds great. We are, after all, legends in the making, aren't we boys?
UD: Yes, we are. Now let's be off.
Underdawg walks out of the room. Viper looks over at Corax and Hellion.
DV: Shouldn't that belt be mine? I'm the champ after all.
H: Shouldn't you tell him that?
DV: Another time. He just came from a grueling match. Gotta have his trophy for tonight at least. Come on, let's go get our drink on!
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:15:51 GMT -5
*Camera shows SFJ#5 with Canadian Dragon, who has a goalie stick over his shoulder.*
SFJ#5: So Dragon, you just went trhough hell and now you no longer have the original OOWF title. Is that why you have the stick? To go after the Ministry and get the eblt back?"
CD: "You know, I went through hell to get people to desire the World title...and now I respect the people who are chasing it. And you know what I went through hell with UnderDawg, and I respect him a lot more too. It's nice to know the man holding the title is somebody you can respect."
SFJ#5: "So does that mean you respect Viper?"
CD: "I didn't realize Viper had the belt...maybe you should ask UD about whose holding the REAL OOWF title."
*CD pauses as he looks at the Goalie stick.*
CD: "But you see, the Ministry is not why I have the stick. On Wednesday we have a new GM. And while the OOWF title is something that people can respect, the Establishment is not. So you can say this is my insurance."
*CD slams the stick into the wall leaving a hole.*
CD: "Establishment...I've been through hell, DO NOT make me take you there."
*Fade to black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:16:19 GMT -5
Harper Camby is backstage with Sexy Female Journalist Numero Cuatro.
SFJ: Harper, the match at Madness against Beast was visually stunning. Your thoughts?
HC: Well when you have a godlike body like I do its always visually stunning. Beast may be big but he doesn't have a rock solid body like I do. That is why I easily cruised to my first PPV victory.
SFJ: I wouldn't say that. Tommy O'Neil interefered on your behalf. What is your relationship with him?
HC: Relationship? Don't go there. My only relationships take place with the ladies. As for Tommy, he is a guy I respect. Mean ass left hook too. I gotta go buy that Irish bastard a Guiness, or a Harp, or whatever the hell they drink.
SFJ: What are your thoughts on the new GM?
HC: Well if he was a smart man he would see the natural charisma and ability I carry with me to the ring and very soon I'll be in the ring battling for OOWF gold.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:16:47 GMT -5
Tommy O'Neil busts in to the interveiw:
TO (to sfj #4) Listen, you twat....you're about as useless as a light house on a bog. You need to go try to posing for skin mags or somefin'....you see CAmby an' me is the rooks 'ere....we're a coupla bad eggs, ain't no body gonna watch our backs 'ere. I frew 'im bone and 'e returned the favor... thats it.
so off wit ya, unless you can show mw your other oral skills are betta an your interveiw skills.
sfj#4 walks off head hung low
Hey 'Arpa , lets got to da boozer, get a pint of the black stuff and bifter, get buckled and have a go of it wif some of da' local wankers
Camby: huh?
Tommy: Oh sorry. ( in a patronizing a heavy Valley guy accent) duuuuude, lets go to the bar get a beer, smoke a joint, get twisted and pick a fight with some locals, that'd be killer man!
Camby: gotcha, you should talk like that all the time then people might be able to understand what the F**K you're saying.
Tommy: ara be whist, you twat...lets go I got the first round
the two walk out, Camby punches a stage hand as the walk out and Tommy hits hit with a snot rocket as he lays on the floor.
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:19:14 GMT -5
(Niles and Moose are in the back watching Dragon's promo. Both are still wearing bloody bandages from their MADNESS matches)
Niles: What the hell? So now Dragon has a problem with us too?
MHJ: Sure seems that way.
Niles: Why, we have never messed with him, although that could soon change.
MHJ: I don't know, he got the idea in his head that the Establish was behind Microplay when he was the champ.
Niles: That's so last year! And why the hell would he think that anyway?
MHJ: I guess when Eco was around he and Micro had some side dealings, but it wasn't the whole Establishment. Dragon has been shooting his mouth off forever now about bringing respect back to the title, or some nonsense. I honestly don't give a damn about Microplay, in fact I still owe him a beating for leaving us in that tag match.
Niles: so Dragon brings honor to the title by stealing it, that sounds like something we would do.
<Jack and Niles look at each other and grin>
MHJ: Dragon is an idiot anyway, he thinks he can make threats toward us? He better watch his words. Seems like him and UnderDawg are having a little lovefest of mutual admiration, he seems to forget that I took Dawg to the limit as well. He is damn lucky that I have a score to settle with Concrete and Semaj.
Niles: Yeah, I have plans for that damn Alt and his little skanky friend. She thinks I hurt her before? If I ever see her again, she will wish she never messed with 100PM! I gotta jet, I am supposed to meet Morte and Endo, they have some ideas about the new GM, you coming?
MHJ: Nah, I have some things to take care of here, I gotta find Johnny and Williams.
<Niles leaves, the camera crew starts to leave as well, Jack stops them>
Where the hell do you think you're going? I'm not done with you yet. Concrete, do you think this is over? You think just because you got one win over me that all this is finished? My friend, this is just the begining. Tell me, how did it feel to slam that cold steel across my face? Must have felt pretty good, you know it felt good. See Concrete, you may have won that battle, but the war is far, far from over.
See Concrete, I am a patient man, I never rush things, I take time to look at all things. I see myself like the great sculptors of ancient times. They would start with a big chunk of stone, and they slowly, carefully, deliberately chipped away, day after day, week after week until what emerged was a masterpiece. Concrete, you are that chunk of stone, MADNESS was just the first step, the first piece chiseled away, you are fond of saying that this concrete don't crack, but that's a lie. You have cracked Concrete, and I will keep chipping away. I will keep working on you until I see before me what I know you really are, until I see......me.
Concrete, you can fight it all you want, I know you enjoyed slamming that chair across my skull, for a moment you were free, the hatred and the bloodlust consumed you, and you were free. But this time you were able to push it back down, back inside. Next time, it might not be so easy. See Concrete, everytime you face me, you become more like me, like your true self. It's going to happen eventually, either you are going to accept the truth and allow your true nature to come through, or I will bring it out, chipping away piece by piece. Trust me
<fade to black>
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Post by mooseheadjack on May 31, 2008 13:19:50 GMT -5
Corax, Hellion, and Viper are walking towards the exit of the arena, where Underdawg is waiting for them to go off to the local bar.
DV: Hey guys, I got some business to take care of. I'll meet you at the bar, ok?
H: Sure, anything we can help with?
DV: Nah, just gonna get some info on this new GM thing. Maybe see if I can get you guys closer to another title shot.
C: Sounds good, see you in a bit.
C&H walk out as Viper turns down the hall. Viper runs into Niles Anderson.
Niles: What do you want... champ?
Viper: Nothing from you, chump.
NA: Listen, asshole. Moosehead may respect you, but I sure as hell don't. The way I see it, I should be the one holding that belt of yours. Being that I'm the chosen one for The Establishment, I should be the one that represents this company. Not some low life like yourself.
DV: Oh yeah, 100 percent meathead? I didn't see you win any match tonight?
Niles gets an angry look in his face. He and Viper step closer, staring intensely.
NA: I could destroy you right now if I wanted to.
DV: Try me. I just ran off the #1 face in the OOWF. I could take you out with a blink of an eye.
Niles pushes Viper back. Viper is about to lunge forward when Johnny Adrenaline and LD Williams comes out and holds him back. At the same time, Moosehead Jack comes into the scene behind Niles.
MHJ: Hey! Hey! What the hell are you guys doing? The event's over! The fighting's done with and the audience has gone home. Save this for another day!
NA: Moose, I wanna kill that guy right now.
DV: Let him, Moose. I'll crush this little bitch.
MHJ: No killing or crushing of any kind will be going on tonight. Next week, we've got a new GM. Let him sort this out for you, alright? And what are you still doing here, Viper? Shouldn't you be out celebrating with your fellow Ministry hoodlums?
DV: Hoodlums, hah. Pot kettle black, buddy...
Niles makes a motion at Viper, but Moosehead stops him.
DV: I was just about to head out, but I wanted to talk to you first.
MHJ: All right then, come with me, Donovan.
NA: But...
MHJ: Niles! Trust me!
Viper and Moosehead walk in one direction, as Niles, Adrenaline, and Williams look on.
NA: One of these days, I will break that tattooed bastard...
<fade>
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