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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 13, 2009 10:31:57 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Campeonas de Trios Tournament Live! From Bucharest, Romania
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] Team Fuel vs. Vlad, Radu & Tavian Dracul
OOWF Invitational Campeonas de Trios Tournament - Round 1[/u]
(1)IHOP vs. (8)Spin Hansen & The Team From Down Under (4)Stank, The Dead & Thim Reynolds vs. (5)Ecosystem, Tytan & Matte (3)The Chickenshit Heels & Anders Denial vs. (6)Poe & kz (2)Run DLP vs. (7)Concrete TG, Nayr & Darlingman
Card subject to Vampires and insane gymnasts
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:47:47 GMT -5
*Backstage*
In a dark corner of the arena, Darling Man is sitting against a wall with his head in his hands. He rips the mask off and his eyes look empty. Goldie Girl is standing above trying to reassure him and make him feel better, but he says nothing and just stares off into the vacant space. Goldie keeps trying to get him to say or do anything and nothing is working. Suddenly it seems as if there is a dark flash behind Darling Man's eyes and he stands up.
Goldie Girl: Thank god...you had me...
Alexander: Go away.
Goldie: What? I don't...
Alexander: It's good that you don't...NOW GO AWAY.
Goldie: But I want to be there...
Alexander: Believe me...you DO NOT want to be there. It's time.
Goldie: Time for what? Just tell me...
Alexander turns with his dark eyes and stares down Shawn...and starts walking towards her in a threatening manner and pushes her up against a wall...
Alexander: This is the last time I'm saying it...GO AWAY...I have somewhere to go.
Shawn looks like she's about to cry as Alexander turns his back on her and doesn't look back at all. The camera follows Alexander as he walks down the hallway and turns the corner. Once out of sight, he visibly shakes and sighs before pulling out his cell phone He dials a number from memory and the conversation is rather short...
It's time.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:48:32 GMT -5
The transport ambulance is sitting in the loading dock with its back doors open and one of the EMTs is holding an icepack to his jaw. The camera pans around and sees Lucky walking quickly back in to the arena, and even further ahead is a somewhat limping Firewoman. She storms into GM Eric's office, with Lucky behind her.
FW: What the fuck was that?
GMtE: Now, Fire, I know you're upset. I've taken steps to make sure those belts--
FW: Championships.
GMtE: Right. Championships. Have some legitimacy. I mean, you holding one definitely helps that, but--
FW: Oh, can the patronizing, Eric. This is just your way of getting at me, still.
GMtE: Is paranoia a side effect of your medication?
FW: No, but occasional homicidal rages as a dosage wears off are. Especially when confronted with asinine booking decisions. I suppose next week--
GMtE: Next week you are getting the week off. Here you go, hot off the presses.
He hands her the run sheet.
FW: Seriously? Romanian jobbers? No. We're fucking champions, not fucking rookie trainers.
GMtE: I'm trying to remember that you are--
FW: You know, maybe Sid is right, and I should take a vacation. Lucky?
L: Ma'am?
FW: Get Chris on the phone, tell him I'll be home tomorrow.
L: But they're in Japan?
FW: So?
GMtE: That's fine, Fire, as long as you're back by Wednesday.
FW: We'll see.
GMtE: Well, if you're not, you'll be suspended, and maybe fired.
FW: Not if it's ordered by my Doctor.
GMtE: Okay, then you get to job to rookies for months.
FW: I'm doing that already next week. Ask me if I FUCKING CARE!!
Firewoman slams out of the office, and Lucky tries to catch up with her, dialing his cell phone.
L: Uh, Fire, Jericho won't be able to get back to the States.
FW: I know, I'm not going anywhere. Although...*sigh* it would be nice to really rest.
L: You could take those sleeping pills Dr. Freedman prescribed.
FW: Let's see...sleep and have nightmares or stay awake? You decide.
L: Right. So, you heading back to the transport?
FW: Yeah, but only to see how Larson and Evans are.
They walk towards the loading bay and see Shawn Johnson looking lost and annoying.
L: What's up?
SJ: Alex...told me to leave.....
FW: He fired you?
SJ: I....I....guess.....
FW: Really?
L: Fire, I don't think--
Firewoman grabs Shawn Johnson without hesitation and DDTs her
L: -- that's a good idea.
FW: Damn, I've been waiting to do that for months. That totally sparkled with me.
They continue back to the transport and get in, heading to the hospital.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:49:18 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is WALKING toward the Loading Bay, presumably to smoke a non-Kayfabe cigarette, and catches the tail-end of Firewoman's senseless attack of the defenseless Olympic Champion. He sprints toward Shawn Johnson's fallen frame and sees her laid out; trail of blood coming from her forehead. Davin pats his pockets and grabs his car keys before scooping Johnson up in his arms. He races over toward his rental car; lays the Dancing with the Stars winner down in the back seat, and peels out of the parking lot. He weaves through traffic until he's right on the bumper of the ambulance that just left the arena*
*Time shift*
*Minutes later, we see Firewoman with Lucky by her side. Fire is yelling and swinging wildly at paramedics who don't speak English very well; which serves to piss Firewoman off more. The paramedics and hospital staff are forced to back off until they can find a tranquilizer dart or something. Lucky is desperately trying to calm Firewoman down. It's clearly not working, and Lucky turns away to apparently try to think of something else. Suddenly, he goes FLYING across the floor. Firewoman snaps out of her blind rage momentarily to notice her valet sprawled out on the floor. She turns around (as does the camera) to see a visibly pissed-off and red-faced Davin Moreland, who is literally shaking with anger*
FW: What the fuck do you -
DM: THIS...is NOT how WE do business!
*With that, Davin lifts Firewoman off the gurney, and delivers a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER THROUGH THE GURNEY! What's left of the stretcher is in a million pieces on the floor, and Firewoman is in the middle of the pile of rubble*
*Davin heads over to a triage section of the emergency room and we see Shawn Johnson again, wearing a neckbrace and sporting a nice, bloody bandage on her forehead*
DM: Did they clear you?
OGMSJ: Y...yes...I can g-
DM: Good. Let's go.
OGMSJ: Go? Go where? I can't -
DM: Don't worry about it. Let's go. I have some phone calls to make.
*They head out of the parking lot as more and more medical personnel rush toward the pile of Firewoman/Stretcher Rubble*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:49:45 GMT -5
<Moose and LD sit on the couch in Poe's locker room, they are the only ones there. They are still bloody and beaten from the night before>
MHJ: Was it worth it?
LD: Every second of it.
MHJ: What's next?
LD: We team with Poe and destroy the Chickenshit Heels and Anders Denial
MHJ: Denial is a sick bastard
LD: He can't hang with kz
MHJ: No one can
LD: What do you think we should do to Johnny and AA
MHJ: It's simple really. Beat them mercilessly until the fans cheer for them.
LD: Works for me
<fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:50:20 GMT -5
Voice-Over: The following episode of Work Smarter, Not Harder is brought to you by XL Automation. Automate and Improve Your Business! (Eco and Tytan are sitting in the Tytanium Systadium as the promo screen fades out.) Tytan: I am the monster who resides between heaven and the abyss, Tytan. Eco: And I'm your brain trust, Ecosystem. Welcome to Work Smarter, Not Harder, a oowf.com exclusive. Tytan: Today, we have a little message for Spin and Thim. You two boys better remember, we had the two of you beaten down and taken out last week. You were lucky to win on a minor technicality. Eco: Biased refereeing all the way. How did the referee know my belt wasn't covered in its own blood, huh? You might have busted it open. Tytan: But Thim...we're coming for you one more time. Eco and Tytan are grabbing that no-talent grunge-emo skinny boy Matte, and we are going to tear you, Stank, and The Dead apart in our Campeones de Trios match this week. Eco: You will go down like Mike Tyson went down to Buster Douglas! Tytan: You will go down like Tokyo went down to Godzilla! Eco: You will go down like Michael Jackson allegedly went down on those little boys. Tytan: Um...I don't think anyone was accusing him of that. Eco: Oh. Sorry. (Clears throat.) Because in life, there are winners...and there are losers. Tytan: We are the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal and Onslaught Champions. Eco and Tytan: BE JEALOUS! (Cuts back to logo.) Director: AND CUT! Thanks guys. So glad you didn't beat the shit out of our cameramen this time. Assholes... Tytan: What did you just call us? Director: Um...nice...foals? Like horses? (Tytan gets up and scoop slams the director to the ground! He drops an elbow on him and covers him as Eco counts 1-2-3.) Winner and STILL DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion....TYTAN!Eco: I'm not sure 24/7 actually means you get to choose opponents 24/7, but nice touch. Tytan: I don't see why we're taping this show instead of just going and beating the shit out of Thim, Stank and Dead. I want to get Thim back for last week. Eco: We ARE getting him back. By making fantastic promos, we will hog up the airtime that would otherwise go to coverage of his victory. Work smarter, not harder. Tytan: Okay. What's a really SMART way for me to accomplish my goal of beating the shit out of Thim? (Just then, Yoshi-san, cloaked as always, enters the picture...and not Super Mario's dinosaur friend.) Yoshi: 私の声を覚えなさいか? Tytan: Excuse me? Yoshi: あなたのお名前は何ですか? Tytan: (loudly) DO-YOU-SPEAK-ENGLISH? Yoshi: Yes. I understand it quietly too. Eco: Tytan, he's a friend. Well, he's not a *friend*... Yoshi: ...he's someone you owe a favor to. Eco: Right. Yoshi: I saw last week's promos. You know who I was talking about. We will not allow her to continue to mock us through her actions. Yoshi: If you reject us in our request, you will lose far more than your pinky, Koizumi-san. Tytan: (grabbing Yoshi) You threatening my buddy? Eco: TYTAN! Yoshi: You have three seconds to get your hands off me. 1...2... Tytan: Count to 10, asshole. (Yoshi reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gun. He is about to shoot it in the air, but Tytan grabs it out of his hands and throws Yoshi to the ground.) Tytan: Sorry. I don't scare easy. (He points the gun at Yoshi.) But I bet you do. (Yoshi runs away.) Tytan: (dismantling the gun) You all right? Eco: Yeah. Yeah. Look, I have to deal with something, and I have to do it alone, all right? Tytan: You're not going to listen to that guy, are you? Eco: It's more than him. It'll be fine. It's...it's the smart thing to do. Tytan: Is it what you want to do? Eco: ...No. No, it's really fucking not. (Eco walks off.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:50:48 GMT -5
AA and JA stare at the lineup.
AA: Well, looks like we're not facing Mentos and Luchadore this week. Guess they couldn't come up with the cash. Too bad. I really wanted to put sparkles in my hair like Jake the Snake did when he forced Ron Garvin to mortgage his house for a TV title shot.
JA: Snap back into it, AA! We're facing KZ and Poe, three of the craziest bastards in the OOWF. I think I liked it better when you weren't talking.
AA: That got old. Plus it was original, so I had to stop.
JA: Have you talked to Anders Denial?
AA: Who?
JA: Anders Denial. Our partner this week.
AA: I don't learn anyone's name until they've been around for three months.* But I do remember the last time we tried to bring in an enforcer to watch our backs. Ahh, good times. Going back to September 2006 for a Golden Oldie from The Chickenshit Heels. Guest starring Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown...
(The camera fades out and back in...)
Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster have made it back from their encounter with Chyna and the rest of the unemployed Clique. As they walk down the hallway, they see the back of a man waiting for them outside their locker room.
JA: AA, does that guy look like a cop?
AA: Not sure. Actually, I think that might be our Hollywood enforcer. Kevin?!
The man turns around and reveals himself to be Kevin Costner.
JA: Holy cow! That’s Kevin Costner! But why are you recruiting him to be our enforcer? He just plays baseball players.
AA: Johnny, you are so out of touch. Costner was the star of The Bodyguard! Remember? He saved Whitney Houston from…something. I don’t know. The movie bombed. But it wasn’t his fault.
KC: Look, I’m only doing this as a favor to my brother's sister's boyfriend's uncle's mother's daughter. I have a movie coming out, The Guardian, and I figured I could do some cross promotion. And I looked you guys up and you’re pretty funny. So what can I do for you?
JA: We’re looking for a bodyguard to keep people like KZ and wCw and The Devil’s Brigade and the Blackjacks and Underdawg from beating us up.
KC: That’s a long list. Is there anyone who likes you?
AA: Ummm...Hey, Johnny, have you ever thought that might be part of the problem?
JA: Well, if you’d quit ripping on people for no reason... Anyway, Kevin, we need you to try out.
KC: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't tryout. Besides--I don't believe in Quantum Physics when it comes to matters of the heart...or loins.
AA: What do you believe in?
KC: I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, long foreplay, show tunes, and that the novels of Thomas Pynchon are self-indulgent, overrated crap.
(AA and JA look at each other, not sure what to think.)
KC: I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe that there oughtta be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro-turf and the designated hitter, I believe in the "sweet spot," voting every election, soft core pornography, chocolate chip cookies, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last for seven days.
JA: Ummm, wasn’t that from Bull Durham?
KC: Yeah. You got a problem with that?
AA: Not really, but we really need you to be the guy in The Bodyguard.
KC: Are you kidding? There’s no way I’m quoting that movie or ever reminding anyone of that piece of crap. To watch that, you’d have to be on crack!
Suddenly, the locker room door crashes open. Standing in the doorway is Whitney Houston. She looks horribly strung out.
WH: First of all, let's get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much for me to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight, okay? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is wack.
JA: Did you invite her?
AA: Nope. You didn’t either?
Suddenly, Bobby Brown runs into the locker room.
BB: Whitney, how many times I told you not to be going off by yourself?! Damn it, woman! Don’t make me smack you around again. Dat’s my prerogative!
Bobby turns to JA and AA.
BB: I hear you’re looking for an enforcer. Well, check dis out. I’m a little low on cash until my reality show idea gets picked up, so I figure we could do a little cross-promotion. I help you, you help me.
AA: You’re kinda tiny. Do you have a resume?
BB: Resume! I don’t need no stinking resume! I’m Bobby Brown! It’s my prerogative! In 1993, I was arrested for "an overly suggestive stage performance" in Georgia. In 1995, I was arrested after a fistfight at Disney World. Later that year I was charged with battery after allegedly kicking a hotel security guard. In 1996, I wrecked a rental Porsche while driving drunk. In 1997, I beat up Whitney, causing facial cuts. In 1998, I was arrested for sexual battery, served five days for the Porsche wreck, and was arrested again when I showed up at jail drunk. In 2000, I served 26 days in jail for a cocaine-related probation violation...
(10 minutes later)
BB: In 2002, I was arrested for possession of marijuana, speeding, and having no driver's license or proof of insurance. In 2003, I was sentenced to eight days in jail for drunk driving, and later that year I was arrested for violating probation when I flew to L.A. to perform in an awards ceremony, despite a court order than I not leave Georgia. In 2004, I was briefly jailed for failure to pay child support for two of my three children born out of wedlock. I was ten years in arrears, and told the judge I had no source of income, but came up with $63,500 after the first night of a 90-day sentence. In 2005...
The camera pans over to JA and AA, who’ve fallen asleep in their chairs. Kevin Costner is seen sneaking out of the room. Whitney walks back into the room with a case of Red Bull she stole from the wCw locker room. Whitney sits down, pops open a can and snorts the entire contents.
* This was actually said by a saleman at a publishing company I use to work at.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:51:14 GMT -5
Team Fuel is back from getting their wounds tended to. Firewoman, Larson, and Evans are sitting at a round table, finishing off a meal. Blackdragon is standing at the door, and Lucky is working on getting together tape on three obscure Romanian wrestlers.
C"L"E: All I'm saying is that wrestling jobbers will give us a nice break.
FW: How's your head, Lucky.
L: Fine.
"B"BL: Tough start to the week for us all. Sorry about the backstage stuff, Fire. Why did you have to pick on the gymnast?
FW: It had to be done. Oh well, life goes on, eh?
Evans and Larson laugh.
FW: You know, when a person becomes pre-eminent (she pats her Campeones de Trios belts), she's expected to have enthusiasms....What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy?
C"L"E: Men?
"B"BL: Women?
C"L"E: Fires?
FW: Naw...(She grabs a baseball bat from Blackdragon.) Baseball!
Larson and Evans laugh and applaud. Firewoman walks around the table.
FW: A man....a person... stands alone at the plate..... this it the time for what.....for individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team!
C"L"E: Teamwork.
"B"BL: Teamwork.
FW: Looks, throws, catches, hustles...part of one big team.
Evans and Larson nod and 'mm-hmm' in agreement, and Firewoman continues moving around the table.
FW: If his team don't field, what is he...... you follow me? No one!
Evans and Larson continue to agree.
FW: Sunny day, stands are full of fans, what does he have to say?
C"L"E:....
"B"BL:....
FW: "I'm going out there for myself." But...I get nowhere....unless the team wins.
C"L"E: Team.
"B"BL: Team.
Fire is standing behind them and looks at them angrily, and raises the bat....
L: Whoa! Wait!
FW: What?
C"L"E: What?
L: Aw, dammit...you just did a movie promo.
"B"BL: A what?
FW: I did?
L: Yeah...and I think it's one that's been done before...
FW: Aw, dammit....
Firewoman drops the baseball bat onto the table...well, kind of. It kind of goes through the table.
C"L"E: We have officially drunk the Kool-Aid.
"B"BL: Well, one of us has, anyway.
L: And it's not even a relevant scene anyway.
FW: It's not?
L: No....that scene was about a member of the group going outside the group to profit for himself. You were mad about them not being there for you in not just one, but TWO backstage attacks.
FW: Well, it's still about teamwork.
L: Yeah, but....it's just wrong, okay?
FW: Fine.....uh...should we start again?
"B"BL: Not if you're going to hit us with a baseball bat.
FW: I wasn't going to anyway.
L: No, our time is up.... let's just....
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:51:31 GMT -5
*Kevin Costner is attempting to sneak away from Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston and The Chickenshit Heels when BAM!!! He gets hit with an AnderSlam!!! Anders Denial charges up to Bobby Brown and NAILS HIM WITH A SPEAR!!! He gets up, proceeds over to Whitney Houston and raises his arm as if to hit her with The Business Side. She cowers beneath him and flinches when he jerks his arm quickly then decides to lower it without smacking her. She relaxes and then BAM!!! OUT OF NOWHERE!!! THE BUSINESS SIDE!!! THE BUSINESS SIDE!!! IT'S ALL OVER!!!*
AA - That is some very excited description and this isn't even a match.
*Johnny Adrenaline smacks Attitude Adjuster in the arm*
JA - Kayfabe man!!! We're not supposed to openly admit that this is a text based wrestling promotion!!! It takes away from the illusion!
*Anders Denial leaves the 3 celebrity guests crumpled on the floor and walks up to The Chickenshit Heels.*
AD (breathing heavily and speaking in raspy voice) - You guys are out looking for a bodyguard when you've got me as a tag team partner?
AA - Wait a second, wait a second... how the hell did you just run in on a flashback?
JA - Yeah, we were revisiting a classic Chickenshit Heels promo!
AD - I routinely rewrite history. I also routinely send weak pieces of shit like you out to pasture in the ring. Do you know how many people I've retired throughout my career?
AA - I don't even know your name.
*THE BUSINESS SIDE!!! THE BUSINESS SIDE CONNECTS WITH ATTITUDE ADJUSTERS FACE!!!! IT'S ALL OVER!!!*
JA - JESUS CHRIST MAN!!!
*Anders Denial gets right in Johnny Adrenalines face.*
AD - When he comes to, let him know that I expect you guys to pull your weight in our match. And more importantly than that, I expect you 2 to not get in my way. We're stepping inside the ring with the most brutal tag team in the history of wrestling and the world heavyweight champion. I toiled through the indies in Norway to get here and I plan on making a name for myself now that I am. All those jobbers I went through... that's going to be nothing compared to the brutality I unleash in this match. We on the same page?
JA - Let me get this straight... you've hospitalized pretty much everybody you've stepped in the ring with, have the ability to interfere in promos that happened years ago completely changing their outcome and have such a brutal finishing move that whenever it hits, the text goes into ALL CAPS within your promos?
AD - Correct.
JA - I think we're on the same page.
AD - Good.
*Anders Denial brushes past Johnny Adrenaline, who is now sweating profusely. Fade to Black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:52:01 GMT -5
AA gets up off the ground, holding his jaw.
AA: Let me get this straight. He just did a run-in on a nearly three-year-old promo, told us to both pull our weight AND stay out of the way, and then threatened our opponents?
JA: That's about right.
AA: Is he on our side?
JA: I'm not sure.
AA: He kinda reminds me of Beast. The kid has potential. I think I like this guy. what's his name again?
JA: Anders Denial.
AA: Huh. Hey, one more thing?
JA: What's that?
AA: When did Poe become champ?
JA: Don't you pay attention to anything around here?!?!?
AA: Hey, sandwich!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:52:39 GMT -5
Matt Folz hits the ring to his badass theme. This being the first time they've seen him, the crowd not yet sure what to think of him.
"I'd like to introduce myself, since I'm the new guy around here. My name is Matt Folz, my friends have called me Sportsguy since highschool, since I don't care about any of you fans, you can call me MR Folz." Crowd booing "That's right, I don't care about any single one of you people, nor do I care about anyone back there in the lockerroom. You want to know what I care about?" Pulling a wad of money out of his suit pocket "This, the money. In fact, only reason I'm here in this...." Chuckling " "lovely" promotion, is because they ponied up where Vince wouldn't. Still, I give the owners credit, they recognized that I'd be easily the best wrestler in this promotion. I'm stronger than everyone back there, I'm faster, I'm better looking, I'm smarter.......not that hard an accomplishment, but still." Crowd booing louder "Right, go ahead and boo, you idiots, but you know who your girlfriends are going to be dreaming about tonight don't you?" Grinning "That's right, ME. Now, to everyone in that lockerroom back there, I can work with you, or work against you, makes no difference to me, as long as you've got the cash. Consider what I do to whatever unfortunate soul unlucky enough to get in the ring against me this Wednesday to be a little demonstation of my skills. Until then, your brush with greatness is over" Throws mike down as music starts to play
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:52:59 GMT -5
*FADE IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*
SYB: That Erica Mac is one hell of a GM, eh? Skurge: Why do you say that, chief? SYB: Because he signed The Fonz! I wonder if he’ll jump the shark here too. Amn: Ummm… SYB: He better not say "sit on it"… Moose might take him up on his offer. Amn: Dude… SYB: He should ride his motorcycle down the aisle like Biker Taker. Amn: <to Skurge> A little help here? Skurge: ... SYB: I think the Fonz is Canadian. Amn: <sighs> Why? SYB: Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy. Skurge: Yeah. Fuck this noise. I’m going to play Green Day on Rock Band.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:53:21 GMT -5
The door to Poe's locker room opens. Moosehead Jack and LD Williams watch the door just in case someone is brave and stupid. Poe and Selena enter. Selena's wearing a black cape.
MHJ: A cape Mouse?
LDW: Where you guys been?
Poe: We decided to make a stopover in Transylvania on the way here. Cluj specifically.
SG: Yeah! Unlce Moose! Look it!
Selena puts fake fangs in her mouth and opens the cape and kinda roars.
MHJ: Very scary Mouse. I almost belived you were a fake vampire.
SG: Yeah...wait...what?
Poe: Gentlemen...may I have a word?
Poe motions for Moose and LD to join him at the bar. He points to Selena, which she understand to entertain herself. She gives a weak pout and then puts on her iPod
Poe: Gentlemen, as you know we are in this blasted Trios tournament, which I couldn't care less for, although I do welcome the rare week in which I am not defending my title.
LDW: A shot at a belt is a shot at a belt.
Poe: There are monkies on those belts.
MHJ: Chimpanzees specifically.
LDW: They're not orangutans?
Poe: The point is...we should take this week to rest up a bit...and to enjoy ourselves.
LD looks at Poe oddly.
MHJ: You mean at the expense of the Chickenshit Heels of course.
Poe grins.
Poe: You know me too well.
LDW: Ah, I was wondering where you were going with that line of thinking.
Poe: Do what you want with the Heels. I'd like yuo to leave this Anders Denial fellow to me.
Now Moose looks at Poe oddly.
MHJ: Alright...I'll ask...why?
Poe: He seems a bit unbalanced. I'd like to see what he's made of...what he's indeed capable of.
Moose smirks and then looks at LD. Moose grabs his beer (there's always drinks waiting in Poe's locker room) and toasts.
MHJ: To the blood of the Chickenshit Heels...all...over...the ring.
Poe & LD: Here here!
SG: *singing* I know what boys like! I know what guys want!
The three men look at Selena oddly. Selena sees this and rushes up to Poe and jumps on his back. She then looks at Moose and LD.
SG: *sings* My boys...want...blood!
Moose smiles at Selena as he raises his beer again.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:53:49 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is STANDING with Olympic Gold Medalist and Dancing with the Stars Winner Shawn Johnson; just outside security at the Henri Coanda International Airport in Bucharest. Magically, Shawn Johnson has luggage with her, because Continuity was looking the other way. Davin's got a bunch of stuff in his hands, and he's handing it to Shawn*
DM: Ok...so here's your ticket and boarding pass. You're on flight DL-135, direct to JFK, and you should get there in time to catch one of the shuttles to Boston...
OGMSJ: Boston? Why the fuck am I going to Boston? There's like, chinks in Boston...and spics...and...
DM: And there's more in New York, so shut your racist little mouth please and listen.
OGMSJ: Ugh...Fine. But why am I going to -
DM: I said listen. Are you going to listen?
OGMSJ: Yes.
DM: Ok. You're going to get to Logan. There will be a car waiting for you outside baggage claim. I'm sure you've seen the dude with the sign before.
OGMSJ: Duh.
DM: Duh. Exactly. He's going to have a sign for you. You follow him and you give him this.
*He hands her a card, a little bigger than a business card*
OGMSJ: HFWUADI House Transportation Credit? The fuck?
DM: I'm not done. Shush.
*She shushes*
DM: He'll drop you off. He's not to deviate from the pre-determined route under any circumstances so don't even try.
OGMSJ: Will you please tell me where I'm going?
*Davin hands her what looks to be some sort of pre-packaged employment packet*
DM: Here's your orientation package. There's plenty to read there while you're on the plane.
OGMSJ: Orientation for what? What the fuck is..."Home for Wayward Underage Alexander Darling Interviewers"? What the fuck is this? You mean there's a HOME for...
DM: Yeah. You're just the latest victim. My Mom has decided to use her free time raising you young girls to a respectable life after being associated with Alexander Darling.
OGMSJ: But I LIKE Alexander...well, at least I did...
DM: "Chapter 1: But I like Alexander! Even though he left you for dead" It's all in there. In your case, it actually happened that way. You remember? Cement DDT?
OGMSJ: Firewoman's just a jealous bitch.
DM: Be that as it may, if it wasn't her; it would have been someone else.
OGMSJ: So who else is at this..."home"?
DM: Hey, show some respect. That's where I grew up.
OGMSJ: Sorry...
DM: Yeah. Anyway...let's see...Jamie Lynn Spears was the first one...then LonelyGirl_15 and Hayden Panettiere eventually ended up there...and now you.
OGMSJ: But what if I don't want to go?
DM: You want to go.
OGMSJ: But I want to stay with you guys. I wanna stay in the OOWF.
DM: Too dangerous. You need to be as far removed from Alexander Darling as possible in order to make a relatively painless transition back into society. A nice, quiet house on Cape Cod should do the trick. Anyway, it's all in the Orientation Materials.
OGMSJ: Am I gonna see you again?
DM: Probably, if we ever do Massachusetts again. It's usually a big deal. My mom takes the girls, and Page and everyone out and they make a night of it. She even looks for any of the Quinns that she still talks to and gets them to go.
OGMSJ: Quinns?
DM: My Dad's side. Listen, you better get going and get through security.
*Shawn tries to jump on Davin and give him a hug, but since she's a midget, she pretty much ends up hugging his leg. It looks pretty goofy*
OGMSJ: Thank you for always being nice to me...
DM: Except, you know, for the time I Diamond Cut you.
OGMSJ: Oh yeah. Jerk. I'm outta here.
*She grabs her stuff and heads for the security line*
DM: You're welcome.
*He flips open his [your sponsor here] phone and hits a speed dial key*
DM: Yeah... Hey Ma...Good...Good...listen, I got another one comin your way...yeah...from Bucharest...Yes Ma, Bucharest, Romania...Oh, 10 hours or so, so figure traffic...12 hours? Yeah...yeah it'd be nice if all the girls kinda welcomed her I think...yeah...I dunno, Ma; but I'll say this...things don't look good for him right now. I'm fine. No really, I'm fine. Kind of excited, haven't wrestled Trios with them in a loooong time...You should watch every week, Ma...yeah, she's great...as a matter of fact, I should get going so I can take her out to dinner or something...I'm just a meathead wrestler, Ma, what do you want...ok fine...love you too.
*He clips the phone shut, watches Shawn pass through security, takes a deep breath, sighs, and heads out to the short-term lot*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:54:17 GMT -5
*Backstage of the OOWF Arena*
Alexander Darling and Alexis are walking through the arena. Both are dressed in total blackness and seem to be keeping to the shadows. Alexander's head is down and it looks like he wishes he was anywhere else. And if he looks like that, Alexis looks so much worse as her face is splotched with red marks. It almost seems as if she's been crying. But the Alexis Darling we know...
Alexis: I promise this is the last time I'll ask you not to do this. Please Alex, brother, I'm begging you. Anything but this.
Alexander keeps his head down and just shakes his head. He makes one final turn and turns his head to look back over his shoulder and its the worst we've ever seen Alexander's eyes seem. He puts his head back down, but extends his hand to his twin sister. She takes it as he raises his other hand to knock at the door they're at.
Knock, knock
Slowly the door opens and we see LD Williams standing there.
LDW: What the hell are you doing here?
Moose walks up behind LD and spies the two visitors at the door.
MHJ: Did you ask for a delivery of blood?
LDW: Wasn't me.
From within the locker room, we hear Poe's voice as he walks toward the door.
Poe: Is everything...BOY!
Alexander takes a deep breath and the tension is palpable, but then, Alexander drops to a knee and pulls Alexis down with him.
Alexander: Forgive us Master.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:54:46 GMT -5
(Tytan sits alone in theTytanium Systadium he is staring at his DDT Iron MAn Heavy Metal Championship)
Tytan: So what is going on with Eco? Something doesn't seem right here...if wants to work smart and not hard maybe I have to make sure he is okay...him and I work together...we watch each others back...some that actually says it an means it...not like the past people I work with...so maybe it's time for me to do the same for him....
(Tytan gets up and looks down at his title.)
Tytan: Not going to need you for this one. (Looks over to his chain that his nicely wrapped up and sitting on a table.) I am going to need you instead. (He puts in over his shoulders and begins to walk out. As he is opening the door. He runs into Matte...better yet Matte runs into him.)
Matte: (Stumbling back) Easy there big man...just wanted to come in an meet the team.
Tytan: Not now Matte got some business to take care of.
Matte: Need some help?
Tytan: (Thinking about it.Yes he does think.) Fine come along.
(They head off to follow Eco.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:55:10 GMT -5
Firewoman is WORKING OUT~! taking a break between sets. She absentmindedly grabs an Aquafina and looks up at OOWF-TV. Her eyes get wide, as the color drains out of her face. She tosses the bottle and takes off out of the locker room, with Blackdragon following her.
FW: Shouldn't you have left with the Darlings?
BD: Nope. Alexis set up a fund to keep paying me to watch out for--
FW: Whatever.
They nearly fly through the halls, and then come to a door. Without hesitation Firewoman kicks it open, and storms, as only she can, right in. Kz, Poe, and Selena are there.
Poe: Right on schedule.
MHJ: Are you really that crazy? You need to fire your doctor.
FW: (to Blackdragon) Wait outside.
Blackdragon hesitates but with a Look of Death from Firewoman, he goes back to the hallway.
Poe: Goddess, would you be so kind as to go to the other room. This...business talk will not interest you.
SG: Aw....fine.
FW: Yeah, keep her in the dark as long as possible, right?
Selena gives Firewoman a little wave, but Fire doesn't see her because she's staring daggers into Poe. Selena pouts but then goes to the other room.
Poe: Gentlemen, this is a personal matter between Firewoman and I, so you don't need to stay.
LDW: Right.... see ya.
MHJ: (Holding up a hand to stop LD from getting up) Eh, I think we'll wait, if that's okay with you. Just to make sure everyone minds their manners.
FW: Where are they?
Poe: They are meditating on the path they have taken, the wrong turns, the--
FW: How 'bout we drop the mystical bullshit? This was not part of the deal.
LDW: Deal?
Poe: Oh, really. Are you that naive?
FW: I did what you wanted. I even DDTed the pipsqueak just because she dared to touch your latest consort. All you were supposed to do is--
Poe: Technically I did nothing. They came to me--
FW: You knew if I left, he would have no choice--
Poe: I'm surprised you didn't know that. In fact, I don't believe that you didn't think it was a possibility.
FW: I could kill you where you stand.
At this, Moose and LD stand up and start to go between them, but Moose signals to LD to stand back. Poe laughs.
Poe: No, no, lioness. I don't think you could.
MHJ: Okay, how bout we--
FW: Moose, how can you not see? Why not save time and go to whatever torture room Poe's keeping them in and join them. Because that's where you'll end up, you know.
MHJ: Really? Looks to me like for all your crowing about the puppet master, he pulled your strings quite nicely.
Firewoman glares at Moose, who mostly smirks back, although there's something else there too.
FW: Whatever....(back to Poe) Yeah...you're right. I can't kill you right now, especially not while you hide behind your lackeys.
Poe pushes Moose aside roughly so that he is standing very close to Firewoman, towering over her.
Poe: No lackeys now, Lionness. Would you like to take your best shot?
Firewoman barely hesitates, and barely conceals the punch she is about to throw, when Moose steps behind her catching her arm. He spins her around.
MHJ: That's enough. (He stares straight into Firewoman's eyes, trying to get through to her.) You need to get out of here, before someone really does get killed.
Moose opens the door and shoves her into Blackdragon.
FW: Fine. Maybe I can't kill you today. But I'm getting closer.
MHJ: Get her out of here and keep her out. For her own good.
Moose slams the door, and turns around to see Poe and LD looking at him. Firewoman, for her part, kicks the door a few times, yells some things not suitable for a family show, and then heads back to Team Fuel.
MHJ: What?
LDW: Since when do you stop what could be an epic fight?
MHJ: Since whoever didn't die would likely be suspended or fired for ruining GM Eric's trios tournament.
LDW: Oh...I guess.
MHJ: I have never seen you that angry. Not even with the Boy.
Poe: If she comes back, do not get in my way again.
Poe stalks off into his room, leaving LD and Moose.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:55:37 GMT -5
<LD looks at Moose with bewilderment, Moose stands and stares for a moment, taking everything in. He then grabs his barbed wire bat, and without another word, storms out of the locker room. LD starts to go with him, then stops.
Moose storms down the hallway, and winds up at a familiar place.....the door to the Destroyitarium. Without hesitation, Moose walks through the door, and stands just inside. Inside, everyone stops, everyone but Stank, who continues his drinking>
SH: Seriously? Can we put a lock on the damn door already?
<Moose does not move at first. At a table in the corner, The Team From Down Under slowly get to their feet, but the slightest of shakes from Stank keeps them where they are. Finally Stank puts his glass down and turns and looks at Moose. Moose finally moves to the bar and orders a double shot of whiskey, downs it, then a second. Moose ignores the rest of the room staring daggers into him and tears some of the barbed wire off the bat and wraps it around his fist. Without another word, Moose leaves, leaving the bat behind.
Moose storms down the hall, and from a distance he sees Tytan walking with the chain wrapped around his neck, but not the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title. As he comes to a cross road in the halls, SYB charges out with a chair and tries to attack, but Tytan catches him and spinebusts him on the floor, then gets to his feet, wraps the chain around his fist, and as soon as SYB stands up, he BLASTS him with the chain, right between the eyes. SYB falls to the floor, Tytan covers, a referee appears out of nowhere and.......
1....2....3 WINNER and STILL DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion - Tytan
....Tytan gets back to his feet and picks up his chain and walks down the hall.>
<The camera pans back to Moose, who has sliced his forehead open to get the blood flowing, his eyes show rage. SYB gets to his feet slowly and yells a few things after Tytan is well out of ear shot>
SYB: OH YEAH? WELL YOUR MOMMA SUCKS GOAT COCK! HA!
<Those could well be SYB's last words, since Moose charges out of the shadows and BLASTS SYB in the face with the barbed wire wrapped fist. Moose pummels SYB mercilessly until he is a bloody mess, then pulls him to his feet, hits a HEARTPUNCH! Then a double underhook piledriver on the floor! SYB lies motionless, a pool of blood spreading from beneath his head. Moose gets to his feet and looks up, and another man steps out of the shadows, it's........
BRIAN DENNEHY!
Dennehy nods at Moose, grabs the unconscious SYB by the foot, and drags him down the hall. As he leaves, we can hear him singing happy birthday to meeeeeee. Moose gets to his feet, still snarling and clearly agitated, and heads to the arena exit>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:56:02 GMT -5
(CTG and Nayr are UNPACKING~! in their bucharest hotel room) Nayr: (reading through his checklist in a tattered notebook) I think we're ready for just about anything out here. CTG: Anything, Paladin, except for the "assistance" of Darlingman. Nayr: PLEASE tell me he and Goldie Girl have their own room.... CTG: I'm sure the OOWF budget allowed for that. Nayr: (opening another bag) let me know if you'll need any of these... CTG: (nodding) I'll be sure to carry the crossbow if I am traveling after dark Nayr: we're in vampire country, after all... which means all kinds of undead running around. CTG: Are you similarly prepared? Nayr: (going back to his bag) I think so... this needs some touching up, though.... CTG: that will need some polish, certainly. Nayr: I didn't bring any wooden stakes, but there's plenty of woods around here to take care of that. CTG: with this taken care of, Paladin, we should discuss the tournament. Nayr: Without darlingman? CTG: I prefer to have a secondary plan since he will attempt to foist one upon us. Nayr: (flips to a blank page in his notebook) ok. CTG: (turns to the Invisible Ninja Cameraman) while I usually don't mind the company, I prefer you see what our opponents are up to at this time, please. (the camera nods and goes to black)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:56:35 GMT -5
Firewoman is STORMING~! down the hall, with Blackdragon trying to keep up. She gets to a door labeled "Destroyitarium."
BD: Oh no. Not a good idea.
FW: For the love of the gods why?
BD: First, you aren't supposed to be drinking, because it counteracts in nasty ways with your medication.
FW: Let it. Two?
BD: Everyone in there would think nothing of putting you through a table, a bar, or a window.
FW: Let them. Anything else?
BD: I would think either of those would be enough.
FW: Yeah, well you're not me. Go away.
BD: Fine.
He heads back down towards Team Fuel's locker room. Firewoman walks in to the shock of TFDU and Spin. Stank still looks deep in thought.
SH: You are fucking kidding me.
FW: I didn't get to finish my drink last time. Shannon? Set 'em up and keep 'em coming.
Seeing no one immediately object, Firewoman sits down and Shannon gets to pouring. Spin gets up to leave.
GB: Where are you going?
SH: Hardware store to buy a lock.
Spin leaves, and Fire downs a double shot. She downs a second one, and Shannon sets up a third.
OBJ: *belch* That's Australian for --
Firewoman shoots him a look that makes him stop. She stares into the third glass like she was trying to see through it, through the bar, and to the floor. She absent-mindedly gets out her Zippo lighter and flicks it open, then flicks the flame on, then off, then on, then off, staring at it, mesmerized.
Stank: I'm tolerating you in here because...well, I don't know why, but don't go torching the place.
FW: I won't.
Stank; Then how 'bout you put that away?
FW: How 'bout you go fuck yourself.
Stank gets up and walks down the bar to where Firewoman is sitting.
FW: Oh please....really? I'm not going to. Trust me.
Stank: Alright, you've had your congratulations for getting one over on Darling drink, and then some.
FW: Yeah....great.
Stank: So how 'bout taking off?
Firewoman downs her third double, smiles at Stank, tosses a very generous tip to Shannon, and leaves, a little unsteady on her feet. Stank goes to sit back down, but notices she's left her lighter behind.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:56:56 GMT -5
*FADE IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*
<SYB staggers in, drenched in blood a la Carrie White at the prom>
Skurge: Dude!
SYB: <spitting out blood> You should see the other guy, eh?
Skurge: Do you know your enemy?
<SYB blows out a bloody snot rocket the size of Texas>
Skurge: You gotta know your enemy.
SYB: Fuck off, nimrod.
DM: Poor Solly. I guess nice guys finish last.
Skurge: They suuuure do. Hey let’s get you cleaned up. We’re going to dinner, eh?
SYB: Fuck dinner.
Skurge. Dude – don’t have a cow.
SYB: …
Skurge: Actually… I think the cow… had you.
SYB: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:57:33 GMT -5
(Eco gets in his rental car as he walks out of the Promo Studio where he was filming with Tytan.)
Eco: Shit. Shit. Don't want to do this. Shit.
(Eco begins driving the car slowly out of the lot.)
Eco: I just wanted to scare her so she wouldn't keep on fucking with my friends. Not like I'd try to take her in a straight fight.
Eco: The fuck business did Yoshi have getting involved here, huh?
(Eco starts driving much faster.)
Eco: Fuck. All right, no two ways about it.
(Eco opens his cell phone up and hits speaker.)
Eco: Yoshi, it's Koizumi. Where is she, where do I need to be?
Yoshi: Glad to hear your voice...just get to your stadium...
Eco: All right.
(Ecosystem looks ahead to the stadium where many wrestlers have set up their usual shops, including the Destroyitarium. He presses another button on his cell phone.)
Voice: Hello?
Eco: Hey Vito. I need a favor from your people.
****
Matte: Whatever. Don't you two travel together?
Tytan: That's why we're taking your car.
Matte: How the fuck are you going to take my car? I have my keys right here--
(Tytan snatches Matte's keys from him.)
Matte: Oh fuck you.
(Tytan jumps in the front seat of Matte's car and puts his keys in the ignition. Matte jumps in the passenger side.)
Matte: Look, do you really have to drive off? I had my own promo--
(Tytan SLAMS on the gas and they blast off.)
****
(Ecosystem drives up to the stadium as Firewoman is coming out, stumbling slightly.)
Eco: (drives up) H-hey Fire. You look like you might need a ride.
Fire: I'm good. Just getting some fresh air.
Eco: Well...maybe we should take a ride anyway. You know, and talk.
Fire: You going to tell me who you pissed off or what?
Eco: Not--Not right now.
Fire: Then I don't really need to hear anything from you.
(Ecosystem turns the car off and steps out.)
Eco: Fire, I need you in this car.
Fire: (eyes flashing) I'd like to see you try and make me.
Eco: I wouldn't like to see that.
****
(Tytan is going approximately 120 on the highway when...)
Matte: Wait, where are we going?
Tytan: I'm...not sure. Where did Eco say he was going?
Matte: WHY DON'T YOU KNOW THIS?
Tytan: All right, suggestions?
Matte: Why don't you call BRICK~!?
Tytan: Fine, I will...wait.
Matte: What?
Tytan: I don't have his number.
Matte: I actually think I might. (Checks his phonebook.) Yep, I took it down for some reason when he visited me in the hospital.
Tytan: All right, call him.
Matte: You have to do me one favor.
Tytan: What is it?
Matte: SLOW THE FUCK DOWN YOU'RE GOING 120.
Tytan: Oh sure.
(They slow down to a nice safe 110.)
Tytan: Better?
*****
(Eco attempts a lunge at Fire, who sidesteps and knees him in the jaw. He swings wildly to grab her, but she throws him backwards into his car and puts her hand around his throat.)
Fire: Tell me you're not serious.
Eco: I am dead serious. Somehow, and I don't know what happened, the Inagawas are pissed at--
(Fire slaps Eco across the face hard.)
Fire: Why the FUCK are you mixed up with them?
Eco: Look, it's better for you if you just let go of me and get in the car.
Fire: And why should I listen to you?
Eco: Because I brought backup.
(Two black SUV's roll into the lot, one behind the other. Five masked figures, men and women alike, walk out of each and advance toward Fire.)
Fire: ...Maybe I should have asked Blackdragon to stick around.
*********
(Tytan and Matte are on the phone with BRICK~!)
BRICK~!: Do you have any clue who he's looking for?
Tytan: All we know is it's someone Yoshi wants.
BRICK~!: Like Super Mario's friend?
Matte: No, like some mafioso asshole.
BRICK~!: Oh. Oh shit, they want Firewoman.
Tytan: Fire! She's the one who cost me my match the other night.
Matte: I'd say you cost yourself that one, buddy.
Tytan: All right, BRICK~!, where would she be?
BRICK~!: I'm not sure, but I assume Eco would look for her at the arena.
Tytan: How far are we from there?
Matte: Like, five minutes.
Tytan: Let's roll.
(Tytan grabs a heavy package from the backseat and just throws it on the gas pedal as he steers.)
Matte: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL US?
Tytan: I thought you wouldn't mind.
******
(Fire begins fighting off the masked attackers, but they refuse to jump her Stupid Ninja-style, and instead swarm her. She knocks out the first couple with elbow and knee strikes, but they end up getting a hold on her and begin tying her up. Fazed by the alcohol and medicine, she is increasingly unable to resist.)
Fire: (getting dangerously angry) Eco, you will PAY for this! I will come back here and RIP YOUR LITTLE THROAT OUT!
Eco: ...I kind of wish you would.
Lead Mask: What do you want us to do with her, Koizumi?
Eco: (handing the lead masked woman money) I want you to take her to Vito's usual secure location. I will call you all later.
Lead Mask: Sure.
(The masked attackers throw Fire in the back of one of the SUVs and are about to drive off--just in time for Blackdragon to come out of the arena.)
BD: WHAT THE HELL?
(Blackdragon runs over to the SUVs as they are driving off. They escape him, but not before he busts the back windshield of one of the cars with his fist.)
BD: WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HER?
Eco: Calm down--
BD: (Picking Eco up by his throat) DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!
(Just then, Tytan and Matte drive in. Tytan jumps out of the car.)
Tytan: HEY DRAGON!
BD: Eh?
(Blackdragon EATS a spear from Tytan on the concrete, who starts wailing on him.)
Tytan: How-*punch*-dare you-*punch*-put your hands on my partner!
BD: Your partner? That FUCKER just had those goons grab Fire!
Tytan: (looks up at Eco) So you did it.
Eco: Look, I....
Tytan: Explanations later. Get in your car and go.
(Eco gets in the car. Behind them, we hear another car start up. Matte has moved over to the driver's seat and taken back his car. He drives off.)
Tytan: On second thought, I'm going with you.
(Tytan jumps into Eco's passenger side and the two speed off. Blackdragon gets up off the ground, angry.)
BD: ....shit.
To Be Continued...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:58:10 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is walking into the Destroyitarium just as Spin Hansen is rounding the corner with a brand new lock*
SH: Oh sure...why the fuck not, right? YOU TOO?
DM: Nice to see you too, Spin.
SH: You're not fooling anyone, Davin.
DM: Oh, I'm sure I'm fooling someone.
SH: Aaaand looks like I can go back to Home Depot and get a security alarm too.
*Davin goes inside, as TFDU stands up, as they're required to by law. Unlike the other rude motherfuckers that have just been in the Destroyitarium, Davin does something different.*
DM: Hey fellas. Hey Stank. How's tricks?
*Stank sort of nods and TFDU sits back down. Stank heads up to the bar, where Davin has ordered a piss-water American Domestic beer, and is visibly trying to choke it down*
S: Keep living that gimmick.
DM: Hey, once upon a time I liked this stuff.
S: When? When you were 16?
DM: 14. We all have to make sacrifices. This is just one of my minor ones.
S: When do you sacrifice anything?
DM: You've been paying attention, right Lucas? I mean; I know I've still got to prove a lot of things to a lot of people, but I've done a lot of that lately.
S: Like you "sacrificed" our match? Is that where this is headed? Make the stipulation and then complain that stipulation is why you didn't win? I mean, that's a solid, tried-and-true tactic, but a little beneath you.
DM: Ye of little faith.
S: You understand my reluctance to believe that just happened with no ulterior motive.
DM: There was an ulterior motive, but nothing as sinister as you're suggesting. I dunno how to get your trust back, Lucas, so I figured I'd do what I could and see what happens.
S: You don't have my trust back, Davin. For God's sake, you said yourself I'm not Sting.
DM: Moose seems to think so.
S: MOOSE IS....none of your concern.
DM: Well, I don't know if you've been paying attention to that whole clusterfuck they've got going on over there; but I think Moose is kind of all our concerns.
S: Our?
DM: Yours. Mine. Drink and Destroy. Run DLP.
S: Didn't we have this conversation like a year ago?
DM: Huh. I guess. Similar. But I'm not looking for a total war this time. We just need to monitor the situation.
S: Uh huh. Listen, you've got Poe, Moose, LD, and Darling all working closely together, and it wouldn't surprise me if Firewoman hopped on board in the near future. Despite her claims otherwise.
DM: She's a pawn like the rest of them, Lucas. Bunch of weak-minded motherfuckers. I never thought Moose would be a lackey, but...well, it is what it is.
S: And LD is what, a lackey of a lackey? Where does that put him on the "lackey hierarchy"?
DM: Good point.
S: So...what are you saying.
DM: All I can say, Lucas, is that we, Run DLP, with watch your guys' backs. I wouldn't expect the same treatment in return, although I'd ask that you do keep an eye out for Phantos and Lucios.
S: Even that's asking a lot.
DM: I know. So I'm just sayin'.
S: Ok. Well. Thank you. As far as the rest? I've gotta think about it.
DM: Of course.
S: You gonna finish your beer?
DM: *makes a face* Ew, no, er I, uh, I know when to say when, or something.
S: I'll say this, you as pandering face is amusing.
*Davin gets up and nods to Stank and then TFDU before leaving, where Spin stares daggers into Davin. He heads into the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina*
--
*Davin walks in and spots Phantos and Lucios in their usual spots (trampoline, watching tape). He plops down next to Lucios.*
L: Your mother is a saint.
DM: I know.
L: You know, if I didn't have enough reasons to dislike that yellow-bellied coward Darling; this would just be another one.
DM: I know.
L: I can't believe...
DM: I KNOW. Ok, I get it. I'm an idiot for getting involved with him in the first place. Ok? Geez. Enough already.
L: *smirks* Just so we're clear.
DM: Ass.
*Phantos comes bounding into the room*
P: I was hopin she'd teach me some flippy stuff before she went.
L: I'm sure that's what you were hoping.
P: Stuff it, Lucios.
DM: Hey, enough. Listen. For the first time in WAY WAY WAY too long, we, the Best Natural Trios Team in the OOWF are teaming together.
L: One step on the journey of redemption.
P: To get those monkeys on bikes off those championships and restore the honor and dignity that they once carried.
DM: When they were owned by the inaugural winners.
L: This week? We face the Heroes guild and supposedly Darlingman.
P: We know Goldie Girl won't be there.
DM: No, she won't. But we've got plenty of motivation besides Darling; and in my mind, even more so.
L: You're right.
P: Traitormask.
DM: Traitormask indeed. The Traitormask Hypocrisy Tour continues this week with his trusty lackey...
P: The Midget.
L: He's like the only person in the OOWF who you're taller than.
P: IS NOT.
DM: Anyway, Traitormask, as usual, I will make it my personal mission to make sure you never sully the reputation of an OOWF ring ever again. And as for the Campeonas de Trios Titles...
L: Team Fuel.
P: Firewoman. Evans. Larson.
DM: This tournament is your worst nightmare. Sure, there are some thrown-together teams here; but you've reunited the greatest force in the history of the division.
L: You're teaming the tag-team division killers...
P: ...The Measuring Stick...
DM: ...up with the ONLY 3-Time World Heavyweight Champion in OOWF History; arguably the greatest athlete to ever set foot in an OOWF ring...
L: ...where TOGETHER...
P: ...They work as one, as a single unit...
DM: ...Instinctually knowing what the other two will do.
L: We have the ability.
P: We have the experience.
DM: We have the desire to make those once-great Campeonas De Trios Championships great again.
P: And you other teams?
DM: All y'all motherfuckers...
L: Just don't measure up.
SFJ420: *enters the room* Dude, you guys are supposed to wait for me to do that...
L: Sorry.
P: Wasn't on purpose.
DM: Just had a flashback to the old days there.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:58:33 GMT -5
Poe enters a darkened room. The room is humidly hot. In the corner, we see Alexander Darling sitting on a chair with his head down. Alexis Darling is standing next to him, nervously fidgeting and playing with her hands. Selena enters the room behind Poe, making it obvious she's keeping Poe between herself and Alexis.
Poe kneels in front of Darling to get his attention. Darling looks up without moving his head.
Poe: You're either incredibly stupid or just that desperate to get off the rock bottom you find yourself.
LD: I swear to God Poe, if you hurt...
Poe: You, my dear, will keep your mouth shut until I say otherwise.
Poe finally looks at Alexis.
Poe: Do I make myself clear, Isis?
Alexis shudders at being called 'Isis' and leans against the wall with her head turned down.
Poe: Now...Boy...as I said...are you stupid? Or desperate?
Darling stares at Poe, but says nothing.
Poe: Everyone around you turns on you...unless you turn on them first naturally.
Poe spits.
Poe: Your father, your mother, your siblings...save for this one here. Your friends. Your dear beloved Lisa. They all turned their backs on you. Do you know why that is?
Darling turns his eyes down. Poe grabs him by the chin and forces him to look at him.
Poe: I asked you a question Boy!
AD: You want me to say I'm scum.
Poe: Aren't you?
Darling once again says nothing. Poe smirks.
Poe: Tell me, Boy. Where is she?
AD: Where is who?
Poe backhands Darling, drawing a slight whimper from Alexis, who says nothing after Poe stares her down. Poe then turns his attention back to Darling.
Poe: So there is still some shred of loyalty left within you. Well isn't that just lovely? Next thing you know, you'll be telling me demons made you turn on me. me, who gave you everything a new wrestler on the scene could hope for in Japan. Me, who gave you your start.
Poe spits again. He waits, as if expecting Darling to say something. After a few moments of silence pass, Poe smirks and pulls out a box cutter. He holds it up in front of Darling's face. Darling's eyes grow wide.
Poe: Perhaps a bloodletting is needed.
LD: Poe, don't you dare...
Poe quickly turns his head to Alexis.
Poe: I am not. You are, my dear Isis.
Poe holds the box cutter out to Alexis. She stares at it and slowly reaches her hand out and takes it. There is a strange look in her eye as she does and looks back at Poe.
Poe: I've seen that look Isis. You even think about making a move towards me with that and I will break your wrist in one fail swoop. A simple cut down his forearm will suffice. Let is bleed into that chalice there for about five minutes. I will return with the necessary bandages.
Poe grabs Darling's face with his hand.
Poe: We can't have our Boy bleeding to death now can we?
Poe gives Darling two patronizing smacks on the cheek before standing. He eyes Alexis one last time before offering his arm to Selena.
Poe: Let us go goddess. These two have more bonding to do.
SG: *pouting* I wanted to cut him.
Poe grins and closes the door behind them. After a few seconds we hear Darling yell.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 19, 2009 9:58:58 GMT -5
*Stank is sitting at the bar deep in thought after his conversation with Davin. Spin has just returned with a crew from Home Depot their sponsorship entitling D&D to a free alarm system and free installation. The crew of two gets to work setting up the system, while Spin settles down on the bar stool next to Stank and orders a beer from Shannon... who has been tending bar for some reason.*
Spin - Hey Shannon. You know when the bartender is coming back?
STBM - Uh... I think Firewoman objects to me being a bar maid and promoted me to bartender because...
Spin - ...
STBM - ...
Spin - Why'd you stop talking?
STBM - This is usually the point where KayFabe comes in and attacks me.
Spin - I think our new GM has her on lock down.
STBM - Oh.
Spin - But maybe you shouldn't tempt fate.
STBM - Okay... um... Bartender had a problem with his Visa and couldn't get into Romania. He said he would catch up with us later.
Spin - Oh okay.
*Stank finishes off his beer and slams the mug down on the bar. He grabs the zippo lighter Firewoman left earlier, and flicks the flame on and off.*
Stank - Shannon hand me the bat Moose left.
*Shannon bends up from behind the bar and produces the bat. Stank lays the bat on the bar before him and just stares at it while absentmindedly flicking the zippo lighter on and off. With his eyes, he slowly traces the path of barbed wire from the knob, up the handle, to the barrel, where a missing wire strand is supposed to be. For some reason, in that tangled mess of barbed wire, the area where Moose removed the strand jumps out at Stank.*
Stank - ...
Spin - Something on your mind, boss?
STBM - ...
Stank - Fuck...
STBM -
Spin -
Stank - ... me.
<fade>
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