Post by mooseheadjack on Oct 3, 2009 16:29:15 GMT -5
<We are back in the Dayton Civic Center Annex for the 2009 OOWF Awards Ceremony. The camera pans around and we see all the OOWF stars sitting in attendance, once again dressed to the nines. The music stops playing and once again GM the Rick makes his way to the stage, and once again gets a nice round of applause from the crowd.>
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the 2007/2008 OOWF Awards! We are coming to you live from the Dayton Convention Center Annex! Tonight is the night we have all been waiting for, the crowning of this year’s award winners. And now, to kick things off this evening, the Reverend Horton Heat will lead us in the OOWF prayer:
Our Hardcore who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy blades
Thy bed of nails, thy wounds be done with chairs or with barbed and razored wire.....
Give us this day our daily bled
and forgive us our shattered glasses
as we forgive those who use broken glass against us
And lead us not into garbage, but deliver us from mediocrity.....
Now, ladies and gentlemen please welcome out emcee for the night, the man who knows what’s best for you whether you like it or not………GM the Rick
GMtR: Tonight, we come together once again to celebrate the best of the OOWF. Last night we inducted three legends into the OOWF Hall of Fame, recognizing them for their lifetime achievements to the OOWF. Tonight, we recognize the active members of the OOWF for their outstanding contributions to the OOWF over the last year.
To introduce our first award, he is the man who helped redefine the role of the manager in the 1980’s managing greats like the Midnight Express, ladies and gentlemen, the Louisville Lip, Jim Cornette!
<Cornette walks out on stage with his ever present tennis racket and gets a standing ovation from the crowd>
JC: Wow. For the first time in my life, I am damn near speechless. Thank you all very much. You know, I have worked with the OOWF in the past, it is an honor and a privilege for me to be associated with a promotion that gets it, that understands what wrestling is about. It doesn’t say sports entertainment on the marquee, it says WRESTLING. With that being said, I am here to present the award for Non-Player Character. The Non-Player Character is just as important as any of the wrestlers in regards to character and story. A good NPC gives depth to a character and if used properly, can give a character the added dimension needed to achieve the next level. I have no doubt that The Midnight Express would have been stars with, or without me, but I like to think that I helped them to that next level. Let’s take a look at the nominees for NPC of the year:
<the Voice announces the nominees, along with a short video package for each>
V: The Nominees for Non-Player Character of the Year are: Selena, Samantha Darling-Moreland and Dr. Sidney Freedman
JC: Good crop of nominees. And the winner of the 2009 Non-Player Character of the Year is…………Selena!
<The camera cuts to the table where Poe, Selena and kz are sitting, Selena’s eyes grow wide, then she gets up jumping up and down with excitement. She gives Poe a huge hug and runs to the stage, Poe keeps a watchful eye on her the whole time>
Selena squeals and rushes the stage. She grabs the award from Cornette.
JC: Hey, easy girl!
SG: Give it old dude!
Selena scans the room with a huge smile and then squeals again, holding the award in the air.
SG: I won, I won, I won! Okay, I should like totally give a speech or something. Um…
Selena looks down to her table with Poe who…is he actually smiling?
SG: I gotta think Omar, who without him, I wouldn’t be here. Um, Uncle Moose, yeah he’s cool and stuff. Mr. Williams, Seamus, wherever he is. I’m sure he’s drunk or in jail.
Selena then scans the room again and sees Ecosystem.
SG: I’ll tell you who I don’t wanna thank, and that’s Ecosuck! You’re goin’ down jerkface!
Selena’s attention is then drawn by something happening to the side stage.
SG: Why are you waving your hand in front of your throat? You look like a dork doin’ that! Oh, yeah, bust on Dr. Shrinky Sid dude and Samantha Darling-Moreland-Pumpernickle, whatever the hell her name is…
Selena laughs.
SG: I just said hell.
Selena laughs again, then squeals again, grabs her award and rushes off the stage back to her table where she sets it down and latches on to Poe’s arm with a huge smile.
GMtR: Thank you for that……whatever that was, Selena. Our next award is for Gimmick of the Year.
<Just then, a man wearing a Michigan State football jersey runs into the room screaming GO SPARTY!!! GO SPARTANS GO GO GO GO GO!>
GMtR: Get him the hell out of here. The gimmick is the driving force in wrestling, it is what gives the character its hook. Like Cornette said, while a NPC can help elevate a star, a good gimmick can hide flaws and help get a person over, allowing them more time to develop. Here to present the award for Gimmick of the Year is WWE legend and Hall of Famer…..Stone Cold Steve Austin!
<the glass breaks and the crowd pops and Austin stomps out to the podium, there is rabid cheering from the crowd, or at least it sounds like it. When the camera turns to the OOWF wrestlers, we see that no one is doing much of anything>
SCSA: IF YOU WANNA SEE STONE COLD DOWN A COUPLA STEVEWEISERS GIVE ME A HELL YEAH!
<there is a deafening silence and we hear someone cough, then yell “steveweiser’s taste like piss!” A chuckle breaks out in the crowd, and Austin looks around clearly getting a little uncomfortable, so he finally clears his throat and begins to talk>
SCSA: When I started out in wrestling I was a bland wrestler who was still learning the ropes. I had to come up with a hook to keep my character fresh. At first, I was “Stunning” then that dumb bastard Vince decided I should be “The Ringmaster” I told him, EH EH! I was going to be the most ornery son of a bitch he had ever seen, and Stone Cold was born! AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE! BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID……
<from the crowd “SHUT THE FUCK UP!>
SCSA: …….Fine, Voice……read the damn nominees for Gimmick of the Year!
V: The nominees for Gimmick of the Year are: Phantos and Lucios returning as Chad Madison and Zane Myers; and Tytan” DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
SCSA: The Winner of the 2009 Gimmick of the Year is…… Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion!
<the camera cuts to the table where the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Ecosystem and Tytan are sitting. Tytan stands up, tosses the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title over his shoulder, shakes hands with Eco and makes his way to the podium>
Tytan: I appreciate this. You know, before I won this title, I admit, I was floundering a little bit. I had recently moved away from Dr. Podvod and Ultimo Inc. and I was looking for a different direction for my career. I know there are some who like to claim that they are the most important DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal champions of all time because they unified the titles, but I feel like I have done something else, like I have given this title legitimacy. I have defended this title on pay per views, and MidWeek Mayhem, and I am proud to defend it any time, any place.
SCSA: You know, Ol’ Stone Cold hasn’t held a title in a LONG time. And I think it’s about KICKWHAMSTUNNER!
<Austin hits the Stunner, but Tytan realizes that this move is retarded and pretty much no sells it while looking at Austin with rage because his suit is now messed up. He grabs Austin and hits the STEINER SCREWDRIVER and covers, a referee appears ONE, TWO, THREE!!!......WINNER and STILL DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion – TYTAN!
Tytan gets to his feet, puts the title back on his shoulder, grabs his award and straightens his suit and heads back to the table while stage hands drag an unconscious Steve Austin to the back>
GMtR: You know, it never fails! Can we make it through an entire show without someone being carried out of here? Fine. Dammit, whatever. At least this time Vince won’t be up my ass sideways. Ok, our next award continues the theme of making a great wrestler. The proper catch phrase can be as much of a character hook as proficiency in the ring or a gimmick people can identify with. Here to present the award for Best Catch Phrase is…….oh lord. This is not going to end well, again, is it? Ladies and Gentlemen, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!
<Moderate (real) applause this time as The Rock makes his way to the podium>
D”TR”J: I know, I know, you all want me to do the whole spiel, about what I am cooking, knowing your role and all that. That’s not going to happen. <cheers> I would like to take a moment to talk about catch phrases. Everyone knows The Rock had tons of catch phrases, hell they were on t-shirts, posters, bumper stickers, everything. Toward the end, I became a one trick pony, yeah, it’s true. They would trot me out there to spout my catch phrases, pop the crowd for ratings, then tuck me away till next time. So, folks, while a great catch phrase is great, be careful that you don’t BECOME the catch phrase, jabroni! Now, Voice, give us the nominees for Catchphrase of the Year!
V: the nominees for Catchphrase of the Year are: Poe: Namaste/Nevermore and Ecosystem: Work Smarter, Not Harder
D”TR”J: And the winner is………Ecosystem: Work Smarter, Not Harder!
<right back to the Eco/Tytan table where Eco gets to his feet and waves to the crowd, looks directly at Poe and tosses the OOWF World Heavyweight Title over his shoulder, shakes hands with Tytan and heads to the stage, Eco takes the award from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and shakes his hand, he starts to step away, but Eco pulls him back to the podium>
Eco: Hold on one second. First, I want to say, Poe, looks like I beat you for something, again. And second, Rock, I am a huge fan, so I just wanted to ask you something, to settle a bet between Tytan and myself. When you first started out in wrestling, what was your name?
D”TR”J: Well, that is a part of history that I would like to…..
Eco: No, no, come on, we all have secrets. Hell Poe used to wear diapers, Moose wore teddy bear boxers, it’s all good <Poe and Moose stare daggers at Eco>
D”TR”J: Well, ok, you’re right, its public knowledge, so when I first started my name was…..
Eco: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME WAS!
<The Rock looks stunned and the crowd erupts. Rock and Eco share a laugh and a manly hug and Eco heads back to his seat with his award>
GMtR: Yeah yeah, he made it through an award, good for him, can we please move this along? Next up, Finisher of the Year. The finisher is a wrestler’s signature, their calling card, the one move they have that will end a match, no matter what. Through the years, there have been great finishers, and not so great finishers. Some, like the To Be Edited In Later, were so esoteric that no one is really sure WHAT it was. Others were familiar moves with a new twist. Now, here to present the award for Finisher of the Year, the man credited with inventing one of the most devastating finishers in all of wrestling, Jake “The Snake” Roberts
<Jake’s music plays, and a surprisingly sober Jake Roberts makes his way to the podium. The camera catches Moosehead Jack in the audience beaming at the sight of his hero>
JR: <pausing for the cheers to die down> Sounds like the party started early tonight. You know, a great finisher is a lot like a lover. It is something to bring you comfort, something that is always there, something that is a pleasure to you. The DDT never left me, it never failed me. That move brought me confidence in the ring, I knew that when the time was right, I could hit the move, and it was simply…….the end. <Jake smirks with this> Let’s get the nominees for Finisher of the Year.
V: The nominees for Finisher of the Year are: The Hieroglyph – Poe, Close the Casket – The Dead, The Crucifix Bomb – Poe
JR: And the winner is…..I like the way this evil bastard does things…..The Crucifix Bomb – Poe!
<Poe climbs the stairs to the stage. Jake hands him the award. They size each other up. Poe nods his head, as does Jake and Poe takes to the podium. The room goes quiet as Poe decides what to say.>
Poe: Tomorrow night, a wrong will be corrected.
<Poe holds the award in front of him.>
Poe: Perhaps this is a symbol of what is to come.
<Poe looks towards the table where Ecosystem is sitting. Poe glares at him. Ecosystem returns the stare. Poe then makes the sign of the cross directed at Ecosystem.>
GMtR: Ok…….that was short and creepy. Ok, this sport is driven primarily by the in-ring action, but much like some baseball players are five-tool players, wrestlers can also be multi-dimensional. In addition to having a good in-ring game, the ideal wrestler will have promo skills that make them stand out. The promo can be just as important as any match in furthering a story or getting a point across. We here at the OOWF are fortunate to have an abundance of great promoers. Right now, it is time to honor the promo that stood out as the best of the year. To present the award for Promo of the Year, Ladies and Gentlemen, MICK FOLEY!
<Foley’s music plays and he shuffles out to the stage, giving the BANG BANG sign to everyone. Chants of FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY! Start up and take a few minutes to quiet down so Mick can speak>
MF: It is an honor to be asked here tonight to present the award for Promo of the Year. In my career, I was never the most…..technically gifted wrestler around. In fact, I was more well-known for throwing myself off of, and through things than anything else. At an early point in my career, I decided that, while putting myself through piles of barbed wire would get me only so far, I would need to be able to have something to say in a worthwhile way to ever get anywhere in this sport. So I worked hard to develop my promo skills, and I gotta say, it took this pasty white guy a long way! <cheap pop> Tonight, though, we are here to honor someone else, someone who has honed their craft well, and crafted a promo that was both outstanding, and memorable. Sexy voice! Let’s hear the nominees!
V: The nominees for Promo of the Year are: Poe – Selena in Wonderland; Alexander Darling – The Raven; and Stank – The OOWF Goes Hollywood
MF: And the winner of the 2009 Promo of the Year is……….STANK! The OOWF Goes Hollywood! Come on up here big guy!
<Stank excuses himself from the Drink & Destroy table and makes his way to the podium where Mick Foley gives him a great big bear hug, then steps back and hands him the award. Stank looks at the award for a moment, then speaks>
Stank: Wow. You know, obviously with a promo that big and that involved, there are a ton of people I should thank. But they know who they are, and they know how much they are appreciated. There is someone else I want to thank tonight, and this might surprise some people. I know they recently seemed to turn over a new leaf, but that is not entirely why I want to thank them. Johnny, AA, you guys helped make this possible. The Chickenshit Heels, now Heroes and Drink and Destroy had one of the legendary feuds in the OOWF, and because of that feud, I was able to hone my promo skills, and yes, I am not afraid to admit it, learn from them. So, to both of you guys, and everyone else in the OOWF, thank you, thank you all.
<Stank gets a rousing ovation from the crowd as he makes his way back to the table>
GMtR: Moving right along…..we come to the award for Feud of the Year. Really folks, at this point, do I have to keep explaining what these awards mean? I do? Fine. I hate you all. Feuds drive business, from legendary feuds like Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair and The Freebirds vs. Von Erichs, it is, essentially, what puts asses in the seats. Occasionally you get a feud that captures people’s attention like no other. The OOWF is no different. We have had our share of legendary feuds, and this year, we add another to the list. Here to present the award for Feud of the Year are…..really? Again? We couldn’t get anyone original? Rock again, Foley again, Jake again……..fine, what the hell ever. Here to present the award for Feud of the Year…..Raven and Tommy Dreamer
Raven: It’s good to be back.
TD: Yeah it’s good to be here again. You know, this really says something about us that the OOWF asked us to come back a second year in a row to present this award <Tommy tears up like he is going to cry>
Raven: You big blubbering baby. The feud is a lost art form, now, with pay per views every month, most feds don’t take the time to build up a proper feud, instead relying on the instant gratification that society demands. If a feud gets a two week build it is considered a big deal. Gone are the days of month long programs and guys working together building for that big blow off. You know, that’s the problem with you people you…..OOF!
<Dreamer stands over a fallen Raven holding a barbed wire baseball bat. Tommy strikes the pose and a chant of ECW ECW ECW begins, and somewhere Crete swoons.>
TD: That’s payback bitch! Voice! Announce the nominees for Feud of the Year
V: The nominees for Feud of the Year are: Davin Moreland vs. Stank, and Firewoman vs. Tytan.
TD: The winner is <kicking Raven with each word for added effect> Tytan vs. Firewoman!
<Tytan makes his way to the podium and Fire follows. The two eye each other warily but do not immediately come to blows>
T: I have a confession to make right here, right now. Our little feud? The one that isn’t over yet? That may have been the toughest feud of my life. That said, you could not beat the new and improved Tytan, and you CERTAINLY would not be able to pull half the crap you did then.
FW: <clearly annoyed> Oh really? Well MAYBE you and I should just FINISH THIS ONCE……..Fire looks out and sees Dr. Sidney Freedman looking at her disapprovingly. I mean…… I feel that, perhaps you don’t understand the degree to which I would go to……..to hell with it!
<Fire lunges at Tytan and the two of them begin to brawl around the stairs as the crowd comes to its feet cheering on the fight. GM the Rick shakes his head and motions to the back and immediately security that looks suspiciously like PWO wrestlers make their way to the stage. A man that resembles Johnny Gargano grabs Fire and pulls her off of Tytan. She turns around to kick him, sees who it is and swoons a little. The “security” gets them apart and GM the Rick orders them back to their seats. On her way, it appears that Fire slips Gargano her number>
GMtR: Who saw THAT coming? I swear we may be the only promotion that has to hold its award shows inside a steel cage. Ok, moving along so we can go home sometime tonight, we come to the Match of the Year here in the OOWF. Choosing one match from all the matches throughout the year is a daunting task, but each year, there is one match that stands out head and shoulders above the rest. Here to present the OOWF Match of the Year Award……The ICON Sting!
<Sting’s music plays, and the crowd pops huge. Sting comes to the podium and does his familiar yell, riling up the crowd even more. Finally the crowd settles down and Sting speaks>
S: Good to be here in the <shouting> OH-OH-DOUBLE YOU-EFF! This is the first time I have had the privilege of being associated with the OOWF, but it is not the first time I have heard of you guys. Believe me, the boys around TNA know, when Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt made their way to TNA a few years ago, we were clued in real fast to the great work you guys are doing here. <applause> So I am sitting around one day and GM the Rick calls me and asks me if I would like to be a part of the award ceremony. Would I? I said, do you know what this means to me Rick? Do you know the guys we all admire on that roster Rick? Did it ever occur to you that we look up to your fed Rick? And now, Rick, you are asking me, Rick, if I would like to be part of the biggest awards show in the country, Rick? Well, I gotta tell ya Rick, I gotta tell ya that Rick, I was on the first plane to Dayton, Rick. This was an opportunity that I could not pass up, Rick. So, let’s get on with things Rick, shall we Rick? Let’s get the nominations for Match of the Year Rick!
V: The nominees for Match of the Year are: Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG – 3 Stages of Hell, Hell on Earth IV; Concrete TG vs. SLEAR BV Man – Mech War, Judgment Eve IV; kz vs. The Team From Down Under, MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
S: And the winner is, Rick, the winner is……..kz vs. The Team From Down Under, MidWeek Mayhem 5/20!
<GM the Rick is frantically waiving for the “security” to get back out there before kz and Outback Jack can get to the stage. Kz get to their feet first and shake hands with Poe, then head to the podium. Outback Jack kills his beer, then grabs another one from Stank and heads to the podium. A second podium is brought out to keep these two teams away from one another, giving them both a chance to speak>
LD: You know, it is an honor to have our match chosen as the Match of the Year, but you know, there is one thing that bothers me about that match.
MHJ: What is that LD?
LD: We didn’t finish the job. Yeah, we ended one Aussie career, but there is still one standing.
<Moose and LD turn toward Outback Jack who is calmly standing at the podium. He sees kz approach and slams his beer and belches into the mic>
OBJ: So you know, that’s Australian for I don’t think so, mate
<with that, one of the “security” wearing a riot helmet grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Moose’s back! Moose falls to the floor and the rest of the security quickly steps between them to prevent it from becoming a riot. Jack grabs the security guy, and he takes off the helmet to reveal……GATORBAIT! The crowd pops huge for this! Gator is still wearing a neck brace and we see surgical scars on his throat. He snarls at kz as Jack holds him back. Moose is back on his feet and threatens more violence. Finally, they are separated and sent back to their tables, conveniently on opposite sides of the room, but both teams destroy tables and chairs on their way to their seats>
GMtR: You know, YOU guys don’t have to pay the insurance on this place! There is no way we are getting our deposit back, is there? Dammit. I never had this problem down in the PHWF. Ok, moving on, we come to Angle of the Year. I am sure I don’t have to remind you that an angle is basically the story that keeps wrestling moving. <from the side of the stage, GM the Rick notices kayfabe standing there with a baseball bat> and……uh……a good angle can…….you know, screw this, I am not getting hit with a bat by some crazy lady. Here to present Angle of the Year is someone familiar with keeping women in check, wrestling’s only Olympic Gold Medalist……Kurt Angle
<Angle’s music plays and he comes to the podium and looks around waiting for the applause to die down>
KA: You know, I have been all over the world, I have talked to a lot of wrestling fans, and you would be amazed how many of them don’t know what an angle is, oh it’s true, it’s DAMN true. For example, I was somewhere down south once and some ignorant, inbred, illiterate hillbilly – that’s their three I’s right there – actually dared to question me, Kurt Angle, about my broken being legit. I am Kurt Angle, first of all, my reputation is beyond reproach, especially from someone who hasn’t seen a shower since the last time it rained. I won an Olympic gold medal with a broken freakin neck, what has he ever done? The highlight of his life was knocking up some old bar hag. So when I was asked here to present the Angle of the Year, I wanted people to make damn sure they knew that Kurt Angle is not only the greatest wrestler in wrestling history, I am also the greatest Angle in wrestling history too. But since I am a nice guy, I will let you have your award.
V: The nominees for Angle of the Year are: The End of the Moosehead Jack-Concrete TG Feud; and The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
KA: And the winner is…….The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
<applause spreads throughout the audience as Davin Moreland, Samantha Darling-Moreland, Phantos, Lucios, Alexis Darling, Firewoman, DH Magnusson and Olympic Gold Medalist and Dancing With the Stars Winner Shawn Johnson make their way to the podium. Sitting behind Poe Alexander Darling looks on stoically. He gives the slightest glance to Poe and Poe nods. Darling leaves his seat, his expression never changing, and makes his way to the stage>
DM: Well. I have to say, despite what has happened between us, what you see here before you is still the greatest collection of talent ever assembled under one unified goal in wrestling history. There have been groups before us, and there are those that will come after us, but none, not now, not ever, can measure up to Run DEA.
Alexis Darling: We were, to borrow a phrase, the measuring stick of the OOWF, no one could stop us, the only ones powerful enough to stop us, was us. BOOYAH BITCH!
<Alex looks at Alexis with a strange look, then all the members of DEA mill about a bit, then strike a pose similar to the one they did while they held all the OOWF gold in the middle of the ring. An OOWF photographer snaps a shot of it, then all the members give each other one last awkward glance and head back to their seats>
GMtR: Damn shame they split up, damn shame. Ok moving things right along, the OOWF is constantly changing and evolving. Wrestlers come, wrestlers go. Some have stayed for years, others last a few months and then burn out. This year we had several newcomers make an impact on the OOWF. Our next award will honor the one that had the greatest impact on the OOWF in the last year. Here to present the OOWF Rookie of the Year Award/Breakthrough Star is…….”The Animal” BA-TISTA!
<Batista’s music plays and he comes out to a less than stellar reaction from the OOWF crowd who is already bored with him>
B: Sounds like you all are really happy to see me <Batistalaugh> When I got the call up to the big show from Ohio Valley, I believed I could have an immediate impact on the roster. And while Leviathan and Deacon did not set the world on fire, I did ok. I won my share of matches and moved up the card. These OOWF rookies are no different. They got the call, worked their way up the card, and made an impact. Before we go any further though <Batista takes off his sun glasses and lets loose with another Batistalaugh> I want it to be known that, whoever wins this award, I want a shot! I want a shot at the Rookie of the Year Award! Right HERE IN THIS VERY RING! <the audience looks a little confused, since there is no ring, just the stage, so we cut to the voice to get the nominees>
V: The nominees for Rookie of the Year/Breakthrough Star are: Chris Evans and Bryce Larson
B: And the winner is <Batistalaugh> Chris Evans!
<Cut to the Team Fuel table where Evans sits in shock. Finally after a few seconds Firewoman urges him to get up and go. Bryce Larson, grinning like something isn’t quite right, stands up and shakes his partner’s hand, then Evans heads to the stage and the podium. As he gets there Batista reminds him that HE wants a SHOT right NOW! Batista lunges at Evans, completely misses and appears to tear something because he collapses in a heap screaming MEDIC! MEDIC! A referee appears and makes the dreaded X sign and medics come out and help Batista to the back>
CE: You know, the fact that my stable mate Firewoman won this award last year, and that I was nominated along with my partner Bryce Larson makes winning this award a whole lot more special to me. Last year Firewoman broke the OOWF Rookie of the Year jinx. This year, I plan to be the first person to go from Rookie of the Year to World Heavyweight Champion. Next year at this time, you will all be talking about Chris Evans for OOWF Wrestler of the Year!
<Evans takes his award and heads back to his table but not before stopping by Folz’s table and taking a nice hard look at the Onslaught Championship>
GMtR: Ok, this night will never end will it? What are we up to? Tag Team of the Year? Ok fine. Let’s see……tag team wrestling has a long and rich tradition in wrestling, well that is unless you work for Vince, then tag teams get shit on and generally beat two on one against the world champion. Legendary teams like The Midnight Express, The Road Warriors, The Hart Foundation and many, many others have set the path for tag teams in wrestling. The OOWF has a rich heritage of tag teams as well, from Hellion and Corax to the Dragons to Drink & Destroy, tonight another team adds its name to the pantheon of great tag teams. Here to present the award for Tag Team of the Year……Rick and Scott…..THE STEINER BROTHERS!
<Solid applause as Rick and Scott make their way to the podium, Rick doesn’t do anything of note, he just runs around barking, so Scott grabs the mic>
SS: You know before I go any further, I am just wondering what kind of one pony hick fed this is anyway? For some reason, the Steiner Brothers were not nominated for Tag Team of the Year, even though everyone knows we are the greatest tag team that has ever existed in ever. I mean look at what you have here? That guy over there Stink, or whatever, he is just a sloppy fat ass. And those guys, you wearin’ masks because you are so ugly? Scott Steiner is your hook up, I make your old lady scream every night, HOLLA
RS: WOOF WOOF WOOF!
V: The nominees for OOWF Tag Team of the Year are: Team TeAM, The Team From Down Under and kz
SS: The winners are, are the ones that will NEVER be as good as us, the winners are kz…..whatever that is….
<kz get to their feet and make their way to the podium and grab the awards and are about to speak when Scott stops them>
SS: You know, I don’t think you know who you are dealing with here. I don’t know who the hell you two are, but you show us the proper respect. You may be big in this little jerkwater backward two bit fed, but we are the Steiners, we ……
<Moose and LD have heard about enough, Moose takes his award and BLASTS Scott upside the head, Rick charges over and eats a boot to the face, then takes a CANADIAN DESTROYER on the stage. Moose and LD pull Scott to his feet and Moose blasts him with a heart punch that sends him staggering right into another CANADIAN DESTROYER! THE STEINERS ARE DEAD! Moose glares down at them>
MHJ: That’s what a U of M education gets you
<kz head back to their seats as the bodies of the Steiners are dragged off the stage>
GMtR: Yep. That’s another call I will have to deal with tomorrow, thank you both very much. Why did I come back for this? Next……..yeah I am sure this will end well. Next up, Heel of the Year. I think this is pretty self explanatory, no? No? Are you all idiots? Ok, fine. Heel of the Year, the best at being bad, the best at being hated. The best at making the fans boo for you and making them cheer for the face to tear your spleen out and feed it to you. Does that clear it up? Without heels, wrestling would be the most boring thing in the world. So, here to present the Heel of the Year Award………Chris Jericho!
<Mixed reaction from the crowd on this one>
CJ: <in his usual monotone delivery> I can see that some of you troglodytes have the audacity to boo me. Well let me tell all you hypocrites something, without me, there is no wrestling. Without me making clowns like John Cena look good, there is no wrestling. So you can boo me all you want, but truth be told, without me, you are not here tonight, without me being a good heel, and doing what I do better than anyone else on this planet, your heroes don’t look so……..heroic. So boo if you want, it galls you that you need me, you need me to enjoy wrestling. Without me, you have nothing. Now…….introduce the nominees for Heel of the Year.
V: The nominees for Heel of the Year are: Poe and Firewoman
CJ: And the winner is………just as I suspected……FIREWOMAN
<After her name is announced, Firewoman gets up and heads to the stage. Jericho gives her her award, with a kiss, and looks on with pride. Firewoman takes her award and looks at it, then looks out to the crowd. The marks in the upper balcony are booing, except for the diehard Firewoman fans who cheer damn near everything she does. She looks down at the award and sets it on the podium.>
FW: I'd like to thank you all for voting me Heel of the Year in this, my second year at OOWF. I would love to accept this award, and put it next to my 2008 Rookie of the Year award....but I can't.
<The crowd murmers in confusion, and Jericho whispers "Are you crazy?" You'd think he would know, right?>
This award represents who I was. It's been a rough year for me in the personal growth and I've done a lot of things.... But this is a new year for me. I've turned over a new leaf, and left those old bad habits, and ways of thinking behind. So.... as much as I hate to do this.... I can't accept this award.
<The crowd erupts. Wrestlers and OOWF staff are both amazed and a few appear angry. Some of the fans boo, but some cheer, and more than just her fan club. Jericho raises his arms in a "What the fuck?" motion as Firewoman smiles at him and walks gracefully off the stage. Once she gets off the stage, she's confronted by Lucky and Dr. Sid who both appear to be trying to convince her of something. She listens intently, and then nods and comes back up to the podium.>
FW: My friends have made some good points. I earned this. I bled for this. I lost friends and allies for this. So I am keeping it, if only to remind me of how far I've come. Thank you all very much.
<Firewoman walks off stage, arm in arm with Jericho, leaving a very confused crowd.>
GMtR: <gets caught drinking deeply from a flask> Ok, we are in the home stretch. The opposite of Heel of the Year would have to be Face of the Year. So take all that stuff I said about heels and just substitute good stuff, you know, kissing babies, doing the right thing, making fans cheer and scream for them to rip out the heel’s spleen, all that stuff. It is a lot harder to be a face than a heel, for one, as Sting has proven, you have to be stupid and have a memory shorter than a goldfish. I would like to think that the OOWF wrestlers, even the faces, are a bit smarter than that. Here to present the award for Face of the Year, Ladies and Gentlemen, former OOWF superstar, and the #1 Face in the OOWF – Hardbody Harris!
<the crowd erupts as one of OOWF’s own comes back. The cheers go on for several minutes before finally settling down enough for him to talk>
HH: My god it’s good to be back! <more applause> You know, for most of my career I wanted nothing more than to be cheered by the fans, I wanted to do what was right by them and make them feel like their money was well-spent. The OOWF allowed me to be all that and so much more! I mean, because of my popularity I was able to do things that I never imagined I could, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! <another huge pop> In all seriousness, it is good to see a lot of the faces in the crowd, and it feels good to know that I was part of something that continues to this day, and that I tried to set an example for future generations to live up to by defeating Beast in an out of body outer space match. Now, the nominees for Face of the Year!
V: The nominees for Face of the Year are: Ecosystem, Stank, Concrete TG and The Chickenshit Heroes
HH: And the winner is……..OOWF Hall of Famer, Ecosystem!
<we go back to Eco and Tytan’s table where Eco is sitting with the OOWF World Heavyweight Title grinning from ear to ear. He gets a big congratulations from Tytan and slings the title over his shoulder and makes his way to the podium>
Eco: Wow. This has been quite a weekend. Well, first I have to say that this comes as quite a shock to me. While I certainly do appreciate the fans cheers, I have to admit that sometimes they come as a bit of a surprise. I try to do the right thing, hell, trying to do the right thing is what got me this title from Poe, but I admit I have my flaws. Work Smarter, Not Harder does not always lend itself to the most……pure motives. But, as long as you accept my flaws, I will be the fighting champion that all you, the OOWF fans deserve! Thank you!
<Eco shakes Harris’ hand again and makes his way back to his seat, once again making sure he walked right by Poe’s table. Poe just glares at him and snarls>
GMtR: Ok we come to my favorite part of the evening, the end. The final award, and arguably the most important award of the night. The Wrestler of the Year. This signifies excellence in all facets of your game, promos, in-ring work, crowd reaction, the whole thing. Now, I am not a wrestler, but in my eyes, this makes you more than just great, this means you are a standout among your peers, and to me, there are few compliments that can be made that hold more significance. Here to present the award for OOWF Wrestler of the Year is a man most consider to be the greatest wrestler in the world, the man, the legend, the Nature Boy Ric Flair!
<Ric gets a standing ovation as he makes his grand entrance to the stage and walks to the podium. The cheers go on and on and on and finally Ric has to settle them down himself>
RF: whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
RF: It is so good to be here TONIGHT in DAYTON, OHIO! Whooooooo! I am so proud to have been associated with the OOWF for all these years. In all my years in this great business, never have I seen so many people working toward one common goal. In five short years, I have watched this company grow and week after week after week put on wrestling, quality wrestling, that you just can’t get anywhere else.
<more applause>
RF: When they asked me to present Wrestler of the Year, it was an honor for me. I have been fortunate to work with all the greats in this business, The Funks, Dusty “by God” Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race, the list goes on and on and on. I have been fortunate to have them work with me to bring great matches to you, the fans of wrestling. The OOWF is no different, there is greatness in that locker room, there are guys back there that could have not only survived, but thrived back in the days of Dick the Bruiser and Verne Gagne and the Brisco’s. Yeah! And it is my pleasure, my honor to add another name to that list tonight because when you win Wrestler of the Year, that means you have made it, you have become something that nothing can erase, not time, not space, nothing. When you win Wrestler of the Year, you become a legend, and there is nothing on God’s Green Earth that can take that away from you.
<more cheers>
RF: So, without further hesitation, let’s get the nominees for Wrestler of the Year.
V: The nominees for Wrestler of the Year are: Poe and Firewoman
RF: And the winner is…….this guy is something else……POE!
<The entire OOWF locker room stands and gives Poe a standing ovation as he and Selena make their way to the podium. Selena remains at Poe’s side, beaming with pride. After a long pause, Poe finally speaks>
P: When I was in Japan and I was regarded as one of, if not the, greatest wrestler in the world, in the back of my mind, I always knew that to truly prove that I was the best, I would need to come to the states and show that I could be the best here. I had offers from all the major feds in North America, but I chose to come to the OOWF because they had a reputation for being all about wrestling, not the cartoon nonsense that some feds believe in. I came to the OOWF with one goal in mind: winning the OOWF World Heavyweight Title, no matter who was holding the title. I achieved that goal and was well on my way to establishing myself as the greatest wrestler the OOWF has ever seen. Then, I ran into a bit of a bump, and an insignificant little dreamer managed to worm his way into my business and take what is rightfully mine. Well, Eco, you have twenty four more hours to enjoy that title, because by this time tomorrow, your title, your career, and depending on how angry I am, your life, will all be on borrowed time. Namaste.
SG: Nevermore, Eco-loser!
***OOC***
Hope everyone enjoyed the award show. It may not be up to the usual standards, but I have a lot of shit I am dealing with right now. I want to take this time to thank each and every one of you for your hard work and dedication to the OOWF. Eco may have given me the OOWF to run, but without you for ideas and match writing, this would never have lasted five years. No chance. I enjoy the opportunity to be creative, but without all of you, this is not possible. So thank you, all of you, for all your hard work, and here’s to another year of OOWF fun.
- MHJ
Past Winners[/u]
Catchphrase of the Year
2009 – Work Smarter, Not Harder - Ecosystem
2008 - HA! – Eric O’Mac
2007 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2006 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2005 - Trust Me – Moosehead Jack
Gimmick of the Year
2009 – Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
2008 – Rabbxt Becomes Bunny
2007 – “Cowboy” Johnny Adrenaline
2006 – The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000
2005 – Donovan Viper
Finisher of the Year
2009 – Crucifix Bomb - Poe
2008 – A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2007 – (tie)A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland & Intentional Disqualification – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – Call of the Wild – The Team From Down Under
2005 – The Chomp – GatorBait
Promo of the Year
2009 – The OOWF Goes Hollywood - Stank
2008 – A History of The Chickenshit Heels
2007 – Drink & Destroy Genealogy Promo
2006 – OOWF Airplane Ride From Hell
2005 – Donovan Viper’s Promo Before Dance of Death
Breakthrough Star of the Year
2009 – Chris Evans
2008 - Firewoman
2007 – Voltage
2006 – The Halfrican Americans
2005 – (tie) Firechild & Capellan
Face of the Year
2009 - Ecosystem
2008 – (tie) Concrete TG and Phantos & Lucios
2007 – Firechild
2006 – Capellan
2005 – Hardbody Harris
Heel of the Year
2009 - Firewoman
2008 – Eric O’Mac
2007 – Stank
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – Donovan Viper
Tag Team of the Year
2009 - kz
2008 – Phantos & Lucios
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – 3Piece Set
Angle of the Year
2009 – The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
2008 – Team Rick Goes to Jail
2007 – (tie) DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship & Drink & Destroy vs. The Heroes Guild
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Feud of the Year
2009 – Firewoman vs. Tytan
2008 – Moosehead Jack vs. Alexander Darling
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Match of the Year
2009 – kz vs. The Team From Down Under – MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
2008 – OOWF Jobber Gauntlet
2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy – Unsanctioned Match
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw – Bamboo Scaffold Match
2005 – Canadian Dragon vs. UnderDawg – Ultimate Hell
Wrestler of the Year
2009 - Poe
2008 - Stank
2007 – Stank
2006 – Thim Reynolds
2005 – Donovan Viper
NPC (Non-Player Character) of the Year
2009 - Selena
2008 – (tie) Carl From Fresno & Alexis Darling
2007 – No Award Given
2006 – Missy
2005 – Ric Flair
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the 2007/2008 OOWF Awards! We are coming to you live from the Dayton Convention Center Annex! Tonight is the night we have all been waiting for, the crowning of this year’s award winners. And now, to kick things off this evening, the Reverend Horton Heat will lead us in the OOWF prayer:
Our Hardcore who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy blades
Thy bed of nails, thy wounds be done with chairs or with barbed and razored wire.....
Give us this day our daily bled
and forgive us our shattered glasses
as we forgive those who use broken glass against us
And lead us not into garbage, but deliver us from mediocrity.....
Now, ladies and gentlemen please welcome out emcee for the night, the man who knows what’s best for you whether you like it or not………GM the Rick
GMtR: Tonight, we come together once again to celebrate the best of the OOWF. Last night we inducted three legends into the OOWF Hall of Fame, recognizing them for their lifetime achievements to the OOWF. Tonight, we recognize the active members of the OOWF for their outstanding contributions to the OOWF over the last year.
To introduce our first award, he is the man who helped redefine the role of the manager in the 1980’s managing greats like the Midnight Express, ladies and gentlemen, the Louisville Lip, Jim Cornette!
<Cornette walks out on stage with his ever present tennis racket and gets a standing ovation from the crowd>
JC: Wow. For the first time in my life, I am damn near speechless. Thank you all very much. You know, I have worked with the OOWF in the past, it is an honor and a privilege for me to be associated with a promotion that gets it, that understands what wrestling is about. It doesn’t say sports entertainment on the marquee, it says WRESTLING. With that being said, I am here to present the award for Non-Player Character. The Non-Player Character is just as important as any of the wrestlers in regards to character and story. A good NPC gives depth to a character and if used properly, can give a character the added dimension needed to achieve the next level. I have no doubt that The Midnight Express would have been stars with, or without me, but I like to think that I helped them to that next level. Let’s take a look at the nominees for NPC of the year:
<the Voice announces the nominees, along with a short video package for each>
V: The Nominees for Non-Player Character of the Year are: Selena, Samantha Darling-Moreland and Dr. Sidney Freedman
JC: Good crop of nominees. And the winner of the 2009 Non-Player Character of the Year is…………Selena!
<The camera cuts to the table where Poe, Selena and kz are sitting, Selena’s eyes grow wide, then she gets up jumping up and down with excitement. She gives Poe a huge hug and runs to the stage, Poe keeps a watchful eye on her the whole time>
Selena squeals and rushes the stage. She grabs the award from Cornette.
JC: Hey, easy girl!
SG: Give it old dude!
Selena scans the room with a huge smile and then squeals again, holding the award in the air.
SG: I won, I won, I won! Okay, I should like totally give a speech or something. Um…
Selena looks down to her table with Poe who…is he actually smiling?
SG: I gotta think Omar, who without him, I wouldn’t be here. Um, Uncle Moose, yeah he’s cool and stuff. Mr. Williams, Seamus, wherever he is. I’m sure he’s drunk or in jail.
Selena then scans the room again and sees Ecosystem.
SG: I’ll tell you who I don’t wanna thank, and that’s Ecosuck! You’re goin’ down jerkface!
Selena’s attention is then drawn by something happening to the side stage.
SG: Why are you waving your hand in front of your throat? You look like a dork doin’ that! Oh, yeah, bust on Dr. Shrinky Sid dude and Samantha Darling-Moreland-Pumpernickle, whatever the hell her name is…
Selena laughs.
SG: I just said hell.
Selena laughs again, then squeals again, grabs her award and rushes off the stage back to her table where she sets it down and latches on to Poe’s arm with a huge smile.
GMtR: Thank you for that……whatever that was, Selena. Our next award is for Gimmick of the Year.
<Just then, a man wearing a Michigan State football jersey runs into the room screaming GO SPARTY!!! GO SPARTANS GO GO GO GO GO!>
GMtR: Get him the hell out of here. The gimmick is the driving force in wrestling, it is what gives the character its hook. Like Cornette said, while a NPC can help elevate a star, a good gimmick can hide flaws and help get a person over, allowing them more time to develop. Here to present the award for Gimmick of the Year is WWE legend and Hall of Famer…..Stone Cold Steve Austin!
<the glass breaks and the crowd pops and Austin stomps out to the podium, there is rabid cheering from the crowd, or at least it sounds like it. When the camera turns to the OOWF wrestlers, we see that no one is doing much of anything>
SCSA: IF YOU WANNA SEE STONE COLD DOWN A COUPLA STEVEWEISERS GIVE ME A HELL YEAH!
<there is a deafening silence and we hear someone cough, then yell “steveweiser’s taste like piss!” A chuckle breaks out in the crowd, and Austin looks around clearly getting a little uncomfortable, so he finally clears his throat and begins to talk>
SCSA: When I started out in wrestling I was a bland wrestler who was still learning the ropes. I had to come up with a hook to keep my character fresh. At first, I was “Stunning” then that dumb bastard Vince decided I should be “The Ringmaster” I told him, EH EH! I was going to be the most ornery son of a bitch he had ever seen, and Stone Cold was born! AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE! BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID……
<from the crowd “SHUT THE FUCK UP!>
SCSA: …….Fine, Voice……read the damn nominees for Gimmick of the Year!
V: The nominees for Gimmick of the Year are: Phantos and Lucios returning as Chad Madison and Zane Myers; and Tytan” DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
SCSA: The Winner of the 2009 Gimmick of the Year is…… Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion!
<the camera cuts to the table where the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Ecosystem and Tytan are sitting. Tytan stands up, tosses the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title over his shoulder, shakes hands with Eco and makes his way to the podium>
Tytan: I appreciate this. You know, before I won this title, I admit, I was floundering a little bit. I had recently moved away from Dr. Podvod and Ultimo Inc. and I was looking for a different direction for my career. I know there are some who like to claim that they are the most important DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal champions of all time because they unified the titles, but I feel like I have done something else, like I have given this title legitimacy. I have defended this title on pay per views, and MidWeek Mayhem, and I am proud to defend it any time, any place.
SCSA: You know, Ol’ Stone Cold hasn’t held a title in a LONG time. And I think it’s about KICKWHAMSTUNNER!
<Austin hits the Stunner, but Tytan realizes that this move is retarded and pretty much no sells it while looking at Austin with rage because his suit is now messed up. He grabs Austin and hits the STEINER SCREWDRIVER and covers, a referee appears ONE, TWO, THREE!!!......WINNER and STILL DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion – TYTAN!
Tytan gets to his feet, puts the title back on his shoulder, grabs his award and straightens his suit and heads back to the table while stage hands drag an unconscious Steve Austin to the back>
GMtR: You know, it never fails! Can we make it through an entire show without someone being carried out of here? Fine. Dammit, whatever. At least this time Vince won’t be up my ass sideways. Ok, our next award continues the theme of making a great wrestler. The proper catch phrase can be as much of a character hook as proficiency in the ring or a gimmick people can identify with. Here to present the award for Best Catch Phrase is…….oh lord. This is not going to end well, again, is it? Ladies and Gentlemen, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!
<Moderate (real) applause this time as The Rock makes his way to the podium>
D”TR”J: I know, I know, you all want me to do the whole spiel, about what I am cooking, knowing your role and all that. That’s not going to happen. <cheers> I would like to take a moment to talk about catch phrases. Everyone knows The Rock had tons of catch phrases, hell they were on t-shirts, posters, bumper stickers, everything. Toward the end, I became a one trick pony, yeah, it’s true. They would trot me out there to spout my catch phrases, pop the crowd for ratings, then tuck me away till next time. So, folks, while a great catch phrase is great, be careful that you don’t BECOME the catch phrase, jabroni! Now, Voice, give us the nominees for Catchphrase of the Year!
V: the nominees for Catchphrase of the Year are: Poe: Namaste/Nevermore and Ecosystem: Work Smarter, Not Harder
D”TR”J: And the winner is………Ecosystem: Work Smarter, Not Harder!
<right back to the Eco/Tytan table where Eco gets to his feet and waves to the crowd, looks directly at Poe and tosses the OOWF World Heavyweight Title over his shoulder, shakes hands with Tytan and heads to the stage, Eco takes the award from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and shakes his hand, he starts to step away, but Eco pulls him back to the podium>
Eco: Hold on one second. First, I want to say, Poe, looks like I beat you for something, again. And second, Rock, I am a huge fan, so I just wanted to ask you something, to settle a bet between Tytan and myself. When you first started out in wrestling, what was your name?
D”TR”J: Well, that is a part of history that I would like to…..
Eco: No, no, come on, we all have secrets. Hell Poe used to wear diapers, Moose wore teddy bear boxers, it’s all good <Poe and Moose stare daggers at Eco>
D”TR”J: Well, ok, you’re right, its public knowledge, so when I first started my name was…..
Eco: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME WAS!
<The Rock looks stunned and the crowd erupts. Rock and Eco share a laugh and a manly hug and Eco heads back to his seat with his award>
GMtR: Yeah yeah, he made it through an award, good for him, can we please move this along? Next up, Finisher of the Year. The finisher is a wrestler’s signature, their calling card, the one move they have that will end a match, no matter what. Through the years, there have been great finishers, and not so great finishers. Some, like the To Be Edited In Later, were so esoteric that no one is really sure WHAT it was. Others were familiar moves with a new twist. Now, here to present the award for Finisher of the Year, the man credited with inventing one of the most devastating finishers in all of wrestling, Jake “The Snake” Roberts
<Jake’s music plays, and a surprisingly sober Jake Roberts makes his way to the podium. The camera catches Moosehead Jack in the audience beaming at the sight of his hero>
JR: <pausing for the cheers to die down> Sounds like the party started early tonight. You know, a great finisher is a lot like a lover. It is something to bring you comfort, something that is always there, something that is a pleasure to you. The DDT never left me, it never failed me. That move brought me confidence in the ring, I knew that when the time was right, I could hit the move, and it was simply…….the end. <Jake smirks with this> Let’s get the nominees for Finisher of the Year.
V: The nominees for Finisher of the Year are: The Hieroglyph – Poe, Close the Casket – The Dead, The Crucifix Bomb – Poe
JR: And the winner is…..I like the way this evil bastard does things…..The Crucifix Bomb – Poe!
<Poe climbs the stairs to the stage. Jake hands him the award. They size each other up. Poe nods his head, as does Jake and Poe takes to the podium. The room goes quiet as Poe decides what to say.>
Poe: Tomorrow night, a wrong will be corrected.
<Poe holds the award in front of him.>
Poe: Perhaps this is a symbol of what is to come.
<Poe looks towards the table where Ecosystem is sitting. Poe glares at him. Ecosystem returns the stare. Poe then makes the sign of the cross directed at Ecosystem.>
GMtR: Ok…….that was short and creepy. Ok, this sport is driven primarily by the in-ring action, but much like some baseball players are five-tool players, wrestlers can also be multi-dimensional. In addition to having a good in-ring game, the ideal wrestler will have promo skills that make them stand out. The promo can be just as important as any match in furthering a story or getting a point across. We here at the OOWF are fortunate to have an abundance of great promoers. Right now, it is time to honor the promo that stood out as the best of the year. To present the award for Promo of the Year, Ladies and Gentlemen, MICK FOLEY!
<Foley’s music plays and he shuffles out to the stage, giving the BANG BANG sign to everyone. Chants of FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY! Start up and take a few minutes to quiet down so Mick can speak>
MF: It is an honor to be asked here tonight to present the award for Promo of the Year. In my career, I was never the most…..technically gifted wrestler around. In fact, I was more well-known for throwing myself off of, and through things than anything else. At an early point in my career, I decided that, while putting myself through piles of barbed wire would get me only so far, I would need to be able to have something to say in a worthwhile way to ever get anywhere in this sport. So I worked hard to develop my promo skills, and I gotta say, it took this pasty white guy a long way! <cheap pop> Tonight, though, we are here to honor someone else, someone who has honed their craft well, and crafted a promo that was both outstanding, and memorable. Sexy voice! Let’s hear the nominees!
V: The nominees for Promo of the Year are: Poe – Selena in Wonderland; Alexander Darling – The Raven; and Stank – The OOWF Goes Hollywood
MF: And the winner of the 2009 Promo of the Year is……….STANK! The OOWF Goes Hollywood! Come on up here big guy!
<Stank excuses himself from the Drink & Destroy table and makes his way to the podium where Mick Foley gives him a great big bear hug, then steps back and hands him the award. Stank looks at the award for a moment, then speaks>
Stank: Wow. You know, obviously with a promo that big and that involved, there are a ton of people I should thank. But they know who they are, and they know how much they are appreciated. There is someone else I want to thank tonight, and this might surprise some people. I know they recently seemed to turn over a new leaf, but that is not entirely why I want to thank them. Johnny, AA, you guys helped make this possible. The Chickenshit Heels, now Heroes and Drink and Destroy had one of the legendary feuds in the OOWF, and because of that feud, I was able to hone my promo skills, and yes, I am not afraid to admit it, learn from them. So, to both of you guys, and everyone else in the OOWF, thank you, thank you all.
<Stank gets a rousing ovation from the crowd as he makes his way back to the table>
GMtR: Moving right along…..we come to the award for Feud of the Year. Really folks, at this point, do I have to keep explaining what these awards mean? I do? Fine. I hate you all. Feuds drive business, from legendary feuds like Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair and The Freebirds vs. Von Erichs, it is, essentially, what puts asses in the seats. Occasionally you get a feud that captures people’s attention like no other. The OOWF is no different. We have had our share of legendary feuds, and this year, we add another to the list. Here to present the award for Feud of the Year are…..really? Again? We couldn’t get anyone original? Rock again, Foley again, Jake again……..fine, what the hell ever. Here to present the award for Feud of the Year…..Raven and Tommy Dreamer
Raven: It’s good to be back.
TD: Yeah it’s good to be here again. You know, this really says something about us that the OOWF asked us to come back a second year in a row to present this award <Tommy tears up like he is going to cry>
Raven: You big blubbering baby. The feud is a lost art form, now, with pay per views every month, most feds don’t take the time to build up a proper feud, instead relying on the instant gratification that society demands. If a feud gets a two week build it is considered a big deal. Gone are the days of month long programs and guys working together building for that big blow off. You know, that’s the problem with you people you…..OOF!
<Dreamer stands over a fallen Raven holding a barbed wire baseball bat. Tommy strikes the pose and a chant of ECW ECW ECW begins, and somewhere Crete swoons.>
TD: That’s payback bitch! Voice! Announce the nominees for Feud of the Year
V: The nominees for Feud of the Year are: Davin Moreland vs. Stank, and Firewoman vs. Tytan.
TD: The winner is <kicking Raven with each word for added effect> Tytan vs. Firewoman!
<Tytan makes his way to the podium and Fire follows. The two eye each other warily but do not immediately come to blows>
T: I have a confession to make right here, right now. Our little feud? The one that isn’t over yet? That may have been the toughest feud of my life. That said, you could not beat the new and improved Tytan, and you CERTAINLY would not be able to pull half the crap you did then.
FW: <clearly annoyed> Oh really? Well MAYBE you and I should just FINISH THIS ONCE……..Fire looks out and sees Dr. Sidney Freedman looking at her disapprovingly. I mean…… I feel that, perhaps you don’t understand the degree to which I would go to……..to hell with it!
<Fire lunges at Tytan and the two of them begin to brawl around the stairs as the crowd comes to its feet cheering on the fight. GM the Rick shakes his head and motions to the back and immediately security that looks suspiciously like PWO wrestlers make their way to the stage. A man that resembles Johnny Gargano grabs Fire and pulls her off of Tytan. She turns around to kick him, sees who it is and swoons a little. The “security” gets them apart and GM the Rick orders them back to their seats. On her way, it appears that Fire slips Gargano her number>
GMtR: Who saw THAT coming? I swear we may be the only promotion that has to hold its award shows inside a steel cage. Ok, moving along so we can go home sometime tonight, we come to the Match of the Year here in the OOWF. Choosing one match from all the matches throughout the year is a daunting task, but each year, there is one match that stands out head and shoulders above the rest. Here to present the OOWF Match of the Year Award……The ICON Sting!
<Sting’s music plays, and the crowd pops huge. Sting comes to the podium and does his familiar yell, riling up the crowd even more. Finally the crowd settles down and Sting speaks>
S: Good to be here in the <shouting> OH-OH-DOUBLE YOU-EFF! This is the first time I have had the privilege of being associated with the OOWF, but it is not the first time I have heard of you guys. Believe me, the boys around TNA know, when Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt made their way to TNA a few years ago, we were clued in real fast to the great work you guys are doing here. <applause> So I am sitting around one day and GM the Rick calls me and asks me if I would like to be a part of the award ceremony. Would I? I said, do you know what this means to me Rick? Do you know the guys we all admire on that roster Rick? Did it ever occur to you that we look up to your fed Rick? And now, Rick, you are asking me, Rick, if I would like to be part of the biggest awards show in the country, Rick? Well, I gotta tell ya Rick, I gotta tell ya that Rick, I was on the first plane to Dayton, Rick. This was an opportunity that I could not pass up, Rick. So, let’s get on with things Rick, shall we Rick? Let’s get the nominations for Match of the Year Rick!
V: The nominees for Match of the Year are: Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG – 3 Stages of Hell, Hell on Earth IV; Concrete TG vs. SLEAR BV Man – Mech War, Judgment Eve IV; kz vs. The Team From Down Under, MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
S: And the winner is, Rick, the winner is……..kz vs. The Team From Down Under, MidWeek Mayhem 5/20!
<GM the Rick is frantically waiving for the “security” to get back out there before kz and Outback Jack can get to the stage. Kz get to their feet first and shake hands with Poe, then head to the podium. Outback Jack kills his beer, then grabs another one from Stank and heads to the podium. A second podium is brought out to keep these two teams away from one another, giving them both a chance to speak>
LD: You know, it is an honor to have our match chosen as the Match of the Year, but you know, there is one thing that bothers me about that match.
MHJ: What is that LD?
LD: We didn’t finish the job. Yeah, we ended one Aussie career, but there is still one standing.
<Moose and LD turn toward Outback Jack who is calmly standing at the podium. He sees kz approach and slams his beer and belches into the mic>
OBJ: So you know, that’s Australian for I don’t think so, mate
<with that, one of the “security” wearing a riot helmet grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Moose’s back! Moose falls to the floor and the rest of the security quickly steps between them to prevent it from becoming a riot. Jack grabs the security guy, and he takes off the helmet to reveal……GATORBAIT! The crowd pops huge for this! Gator is still wearing a neck brace and we see surgical scars on his throat. He snarls at kz as Jack holds him back. Moose is back on his feet and threatens more violence. Finally, they are separated and sent back to their tables, conveniently on opposite sides of the room, but both teams destroy tables and chairs on their way to their seats>
GMtR: You know, YOU guys don’t have to pay the insurance on this place! There is no way we are getting our deposit back, is there? Dammit. I never had this problem down in the PHWF. Ok, moving on, we come to Angle of the Year. I am sure I don’t have to remind you that an angle is basically the story that keeps wrestling moving. <from the side of the stage, GM the Rick notices kayfabe standing there with a baseball bat> and……uh……a good angle can…….you know, screw this, I am not getting hit with a bat by some crazy lady. Here to present Angle of the Year is someone familiar with keeping women in check, wrestling’s only Olympic Gold Medalist……Kurt Angle
<Angle’s music plays and he comes to the podium and looks around waiting for the applause to die down>
KA: You know, I have been all over the world, I have talked to a lot of wrestling fans, and you would be amazed how many of them don’t know what an angle is, oh it’s true, it’s DAMN true. For example, I was somewhere down south once and some ignorant, inbred, illiterate hillbilly – that’s their three I’s right there – actually dared to question me, Kurt Angle, about my broken being legit. I am Kurt Angle, first of all, my reputation is beyond reproach, especially from someone who hasn’t seen a shower since the last time it rained. I won an Olympic gold medal with a broken freakin neck, what has he ever done? The highlight of his life was knocking up some old bar hag. So when I was asked here to present the Angle of the Year, I wanted people to make damn sure they knew that Kurt Angle is not only the greatest wrestler in wrestling history, I am also the greatest Angle in wrestling history too. But since I am a nice guy, I will let you have your award.
V: The nominees for Angle of the Year are: The End of the Moosehead Jack-Concrete TG Feud; and The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
KA: And the winner is…….The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
<applause spreads throughout the audience as Davin Moreland, Samantha Darling-Moreland, Phantos, Lucios, Alexis Darling, Firewoman, DH Magnusson and Olympic Gold Medalist and Dancing With the Stars Winner Shawn Johnson make their way to the podium. Sitting behind Poe Alexander Darling looks on stoically. He gives the slightest glance to Poe and Poe nods. Darling leaves his seat, his expression never changing, and makes his way to the stage>
DM: Well. I have to say, despite what has happened between us, what you see here before you is still the greatest collection of talent ever assembled under one unified goal in wrestling history. There have been groups before us, and there are those that will come after us, but none, not now, not ever, can measure up to Run DEA.
Alexis Darling: We were, to borrow a phrase, the measuring stick of the OOWF, no one could stop us, the only ones powerful enough to stop us, was us. BOOYAH BITCH!
<Alex looks at Alexis with a strange look, then all the members of DEA mill about a bit, then strike a pose similar to the one they did while they held all the OOWF gold in the middle of the ring. An OOWF photographer snaps a shot of it, then all the members give each other one last awkward glance and head back to their seats>
GMtR: Damn shame they split up, damn shame. Ok moving things right along, the OOWF is constantly changing and evolving. Wrestlers come, wrestlers go. Some have stayed for years, others last a few months and then burn out. This year we had several newcomers make an impact on the OOWF. Our next award will honor the one that had the greatest impact on the OOWF in the last year. Here to present the OOWF Rookie of the Year Award/Breakthrough Star is…….”The Animal” BA-TISTA!
<Batista’s music plays and he comes out to a less than stellar reaction from the OOWF crowd who is already bored with him>
B: Sounds like you all are really happy to see me <Batistalaugh> When I got the call up to the big show from Ohio Valley, I believed I could have an immediate impact on the roster. And while Leviathan and Deacon did not set the world on fire, I did ok. I won my share of matches and moved up the card. These OOWF rookies are no different. They got the call, worked their way up the card, and made an impact. Before we go any further though <Batista takes off his sun glasses and lets loose with another Batistalaugh> I want it to be known that, whoever wins this award, I want a shot! I want a shot at the Rookie of the Year Award! Right HERE IN THIS VERY RING! <the audience looks a little confused, since there is no ring, just the stage, so we cut to the voice to get the nominees>
V: The nominees for Rookie of the Year/Breakthrough Star are: Chris Evans and Bryce Larson
B: And the winner is <Batistalaugh> Chris Evans!
<Cut to the Team Fuel table where Evans sits in shock. Finally after a few seconds Firewoman urges him to get up and go. Bryce Larson, grinning like something isn’t quite right, stands up and shakes his partner’s hand, then Evans heads to the stage and the podium. As he gets there Batista reminds him that HE wants a SHOT right NOW! Batista lunges at Evans, completely misses and appears to tear something because he collapses in a heap screaming MEDIC! MEDIC! A referee appears and makes the dreaded X sign and medics come out and help Batista to the back>
CE: You know, the fact that my stable mate Firewoman won this award last year, and that I was nominated along with my partner Bryce Larson makes winning this award a whole lot more special to me. Last year Firewoman broke the OOWF Rookie of the Year jinx. This year, I plan to be the first person to go from Rookie of the Year to World Heavyweight Champion. Next year at this time, you will all be talking about Chris Evans for OOWF Wrestler of the Year!
<Evans takes his award and heads back to his table but not before stopping by Folz’s table and taking a nice hard look at the Onslaught Championship>
GMtR: Ok, this night will never end will it? What are we up to? Tag Team of the Year? Ok fine. Let’s see……tag team wrestling has a long and rich tradition in wrestling, well that is unless you work for Vince, then tag teams get shit on and generally beat two on one against the world champion. Legendary teams like The Midnight Express, The Road Warriors, The Hart Foundation and many, many others have set the path for tag teams in wrestling. The OOWF has a rich heritage of tag teams as well, from Hellion and Corax to the Dragons to Drink & Destroy, tonight another team adds its name to the pantheon of great tag teams. Here to present the award for Tag Team of the Year……Rick and Scott…..THE STEINER BROTHERS!
<Solid applause as Rick and Scott make their way to the podium, Rick doesn’t do anything of note, he just runs around barking, so Scott grabs the mic>
SS: You know before I go any further, I am just wondering what kind of one pony hick fed this is anyway? For some reason, the Steiner Brothers were not nominated for Tag Team of the Year, even though everyone knows we are the greatest tag team that has ever existed in ever. I mean look at what you have here? That guy over there Stink, or whatever, he is just a sloppy fat ass. And those guys, you wearin’ masks because you are so ugly? Scott Steiner is your hook up, I make your old lady scream every night, HOLLA
RS: WOOF WOOF WOOF!
V: The nominees for OOWF Tag Team of the Year are: Team TeAM, The Team From Down Under and kz
SS: The winners are, are the ones that will NEVER be as good as us, the winners are kz…..whatever that is….
<kz get to their feet and make their way to the podium and grab the awards and are about to speak when Scott stops them>
SS: You know, I don’t think you know who you are dealing with here. I don’t know who the hell you two are, but you show us the proper respect. You may be big in this little jerkwater backward two bit fed, but we are the Steiners, we ……
<Moose and LD have heard about enough, Moose takes his award and BLASTS Scott upside the head, Rick charges over and eats a boot to the face, then takes a CANADIAN DESTROYER on the stage. Moose and LD pull Scott to his feet and Moose blasts him with a heart punch that sends him staggering right into another CANADIAN DESTROYER! THE STEINERS ARE DEAD! Moose glares down at them>
MHJ: That’s what a U of M education gets you
<kz head back to their seats as the bodies of the Steiners are dragged off the stage>
GMtR: Yep. That’s another call I will have to deal with tomorrow, thank you both very much. Why did I come back for this? Next……..yeah I am sure this will end well. Next up, Heel of the Year. I think this is pretty self explanatory, no? No? Are you all idiots? Ok, fine. Heel of the Year, the best at being bad, the best at being hated. The best at making the fans boo for you and making them cheer for the face to tear your spleen out and feed it to you. Does that clear it up? Without heels, wrestling would be the most boring thing in the world. So, here to present the Heel of the Year Award………Chris Jericho!
<Mixed reaction from the crowd on this one>
CJ: <in his usual monotone delivery> I can see that some of you troglodytes have the audacity to boo me. Well let me tell all you hypocrites something, without me, there is no wrestling. Without me making clowns like John Cena look good, there is no wrestling. So you can boo me all you want, but truth be told, without me, you are not here tonight, without me being a good heel, and doing what I do better than anyone else on this planet, your heroes don’t look so……..heroic. So boo if you want, it galls you that you need me, you need me to enjoy wrestling. Without me, you have nothing. Now…….introduce the nominees for Heel of the Year.
V: The nominees for Heel of the Year are: Poe and Firewoman
CJ: And the winner is………just as I suspected……FIREWOMAN
<After her name is announced, Firewoman gets up and heads to the stage. Jericho gives her her award, with a kiss, and looks on with pride. Firewoman takes her award and looks at it, then looks out to the crowd. The marks in the upper balcony are booing, except for the diehard Firewoman fans who cheer damn near everything she does. She looks down at the award and sets it on the podium.>
FW: I'd like to thank you all for voting me Heel of the Year in this, my second year at OOWF. I would love to accept this award, and put it next to my 2008 Rookie of the Year award....but I can't.
<The crowd murmers in confusion, and Jericho whispers "Are you crazy?" You'd think he would know, right?>
This award represents who I was. It's been a rough year for me in the personal growth and I've done a lot of things.... But this is a new year for me. I've turned over a new leaf, and left those old bad habits, and ways of thinking behind. So.... as much as I hate to do this.... I can't accept this award.
<The crowd erupts. Wrestlers and OOWF staff are both amazed and a few appear angry. Some of the fans boo, but some cheer, and more than just her fan club. Jericho raises his arms in a "What the fuck?" motion as Firewoman smiles at him and walks gracefully off the stage. Once she gets off the stage, she's confronted by Lucky and Dr. Sid who both appear to be trying to convince her of something. She listens intently, and then nods and comes back up to the podium.>
FW: My friends have made some good points. I earned this. I bled for this. I lost friends and allies for this. So I am keeping it, if only to remind me of how far I've come. Thank you all very much.
<Firewoman walks off stage, arm in arm with Jericho, leaving a very confused crowd.>
GMtR: <gets caught drinking deeply from a flask> Ok, we are in the home stretch. The opposite of Heel of the Year would have to be Face of the Year. So take all that stuff I said about heels and just substitute good stuff, you know, kissing babies, doing the right thing, making fans cheer and scream for them to rip out the heel’s spleen, all that stuff. It is a lot harder to be a face than a heel, for one, as Sting has proven, you have to be stupid and have a memory shorter than a goldfish. I would like to think that the OOWF wrestlers, even the faces, are a bit smarter than that. Here to present the award for Face of the Year, Ladies and Gentlemen, former OOWF superstar, and the #1 Face in the OOWF – Hardbody Harris!
<the crowd erupts as one of OOWF’s own comes back. The cheers go on for several minutes before finally settling down enough for him to talk>
HH: My god it’s good to be back! <more applause> You know, for most of my career I wanted nothing more than to be cheered by the fans, I wanted to do what was right by them and make them feel like their money was well-spent. The OOWF allowed me to be all that and so much more! I mean, because of my popularity I was able to do things that I never imagined I could, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! <another huge pop> In all seriousness, it is good to see a lot of the faces in the crowd, and it feels good to know that I was part of something that continues to this day, and that I tried to set an example for future generations to live up to by defeating Beast in an out of body outer space match. Now, the nominees for Face of the Year!
V: The nominees for Face of the Year are: Ecosystem, Stank, Concrete TG and The Chickenshit Heroes
HH: And the winner is……..OOWF Hall of Famer, Ecosystem!
<we go back to Eco and Tytan’s table where Eco is sitting with the OOWF World Heavyweight Title grinning from ear to ear. He gets a big congratulations from Tytan and slings the title over his shoulder and makes his way to the podium>
Eco: Wow. This has been quite a weekend. Well, first I have to say that this comes as quite a shock to me. While I certainly do appreciate the fans cheers, I have to admit that sometimes they come as a bit of a surprise. I try to do the right thing, hell, trying to do the right thing is what got me this title from Poe, but I admit I have my flaws. Work Smarter, Not Harder does not always lend itself to the most……pure motives. But, as long as you accept my flaws, I will be the fighting champion that all you, the OOWF fans deserve! Thank you!
<Eco shakes Harris’ hand again and makes his way back to his seat, once again making sure he walked right by Poe’s table. Poe just glares at him and snarls>
GMtR: Ok we come to my favorite part of the evening, the end. The final award, and arguably the most important award of the night. The Wrestler of the Year. This signifies excellence in all facets of your game, promos, in-ring work, crowd reaction, the whole thing. Now, I am not a wrestler, but in my eyes, this makes you more than just great, this means you are a standout among your peers, and to me, there are few compliments that can be made that hold more significance. Here to present the award for OOWF Wrestler of the Year is a man most consider to be the greatest wrestler in the world, the man, the legend, the Nature Boy Ric Flair!
<Ric gets a standing ovation as he makes his grand entrance to the stage and walks to the podium. The cheers go on and on and on and finally Ric has to settle them down himself>
RF: whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
RF: It is so good to be here TONIGHT in DAYTON, OHIO! Whooooooo! I am so proud to have been associated with the OOWF for all these years. In all my years in this great business, never have I seen so many people working toward one common goal. In five short years, I have watched this company grow and week after week after week put on wrestling, quality wrestling, that you just can’t get anywhere else.
<more applause>
RF: When they asked me to present Wrestler of the Year, it was an honor for me. I have been fortunate to work with all the greats in this business, The Funks, Dusty “by God” Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race, the list goes on and on and on. I have been fortunate to have them work with me to bring great matches to you, the fans of wrestling. The OOWF is no different, there is greatness in that locker room, there are guys back there that could have not only survived, but thrived back in the days of Dick the Bruiser and Verne Gagne and the Brisco’s. Yeah! And it is my pleasure, my honor to add another name to that list tonight because when you win Wrestler of the Year, that means you have made it, you have become something that nothing can erase, not time, not space, nothing. When you win Wrestler of the Year, you become a legend, and there is nothing on God’s Green Earth that can take that away from you.
<more cheers>
RF: So, without further hesitation, let’s get the nominees for Wrestler of the Year.
V: The nominees for Wrestler of the Year are: Poe and Firewoman
RF: And the winner is…….this guy is something else……POE!
<The entire OOWF locker room stands and gives Poe a standing ovation as he and Selena make their way to the podium. Selena remains at Poe’s side, beaming with pride. After a long pause, Poe finally speaks>
P: When I was in Japan and I was regarded as one of, if not the, greatest wrestler in the world, in the back of my mind, I always knew that to truly prove that I was the best, I would need to come to the states and show that I could be the best here. I had offers from all the major feds in North America, but I chose to come to the OOWF because they had a reputation for being all about wrestling, not the cartoon nonsense that some feds believe in. I came to the OOWF with one goal in mind: winning the OOWF World Heavyweight Title, no matter who was holding the title. I achieved that goal and was well on my way to establishing myself as the greatest wrestler the OOWF has ever seen. Then, I ran into a bit of a bump, and an insignificant little dreamer managed to worm his way into my business and take what is rightfully mine. Well, Eco, you have twenty four more hours to enjoy that title, because by this time tomorrow, your title, your career, and depending on how angry I am, your life, will all be on borrowed time. Namaste.
SG: Nevermore, Eco-loser!
***OOC***
Hope everyone enjoyed the award show. It may not be up to the usual standards, but I have a lot of shit I am dealing with right now. I want to take this time to thank each and every one of you for your hard work and dedication to the OOWF. Eco may have given me the OOWF to run, but without you for ideas and match writing, this would never have lasted five years. No chance. I enjoy the opportunity to be creative, but without all of you, this is not possible. So thank you, all of you, for all your hard work, and here’s to another year of OOWF fun.
- MHJ
Past Winners[/u]
Catchphrase of the Year
2009 – Work Smarter, Not Harder - Ecosystem
2008 - HA! – Eric O’Mac
2007 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2006 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2005 - Trust Me – Moosehead Jack
Gimmick of the Year
2009 – Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
2008 – Rabbxt Becomes Bunny
2007 – “Cowboy” Johnny Adrenaline
2006 – The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000
2005 – Donovan Viper
Finisher of the Year
2009 – Crucifix Bomb - Poe
2008 – A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2007 – (tie)A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland & Intentional Disqualification – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – Call of the Wild – The Team From Down Under
2005 – The Chomp – GatorBait
Promo of the Year
2009 – The OOWF Goes Hollywood - Stank
2008 – A History of The Chickenshit Heels
2007 – Drink & Destroy Genealogy Promo
2006 – OOWF Airplane Ride From Hell
2005 – Donovan Viper’s Promo Before Dance of Death
Breakthrough Star of the Year
2009 – Chris Evans
2008 - Firewoman
2007 – Voltage
2006 – The Halfrican Americans
2005 – (tie) Firechild & Capellan
Face of the Year
2009 - Ecosystem
2008 – (tie) Concrete TG and Phantos & Lucios
2007 – Firechild
2006 – Capellan
2005 – Hardbody Harris
Heel of the Year
2009 - Firewoman
2008 – Eric O’Mac
2007 – Stank
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – Donovan Viper
Tag Team of the Year
2009 - kz
2008 – Phantos & Lucios
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – 3Piece Set
Angle of the Year
2009 – The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
2008 – Team Rick Goes to Jail
2007 – (tie) DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship & Drink & Destroy vs. The Heroes Guild
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Feud of the Year
2009 – Firewoman vs. Tytan
2008 – Moosehead Jack vs. Alexander Darling
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Match of the Year
2009 – kz vs. The Team From Down Under – MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
2008 – OOWF Jobber Gauntlet
2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy – Unsanctioned Match
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw – Bamboo Scaffold Match
2005 – Canadian Dragon vs. UnderDawg – Ultimate Hell
Wrestler of the Year
2009 - Poe
2008 - Stank
2007 – Stank
2006 – Thim Reynolds
2005 – Donovan Viper
NPC (Non-Player Character) of the Year
2009 - Selena
2008 – (tie) Carl From Fresno & Alexis Darling
2007 – No Award Given
2006 – Missy
2005 – Ric Flair