OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Nazareth, Pennsylvania
OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament – Round 1[/u]
THE HEROES GUILD vs. THE DEAD & RAVENNA BLUEThe tag tournament continues, and in what seems to be a pattern tonight, one established team is taking on a completely random team. In normal wrestling conventional wisdom; that means it should be a walk for the established team; but THIS IS THE OOWF! Where anything can happen! Certainly, The Heroes Guild has to be considered the favorite here, with multiple-time Champion Concrete TG re-teaming with his long-term disciple Nayr the Halfling Luchadore. However, you can't discount multiple-singles Champion The Dead teaming up with Ravenna Blue, who looked impressive in her debut. Sure, this should probably be commentary with Russ and Razz, but if Moose doesn't have to write commentary, neither do I.
Anyway, “Front Line” fires up, and all the Heroes Guild marks (which consists mostly of fans 7 and under) flip out. Crete and Nayr make their way into the ring and do some posing for everyone; trying to get the crowd fired up. “Snow White Queen” replaces the last song over the PA; and an excited murmur comes over the crowd. The Dead joins Ravenna Blue at the top of the ramp, and it turns out they're wearing matching (well, color-wise) outfits. Aww. The crowd kinda likes that, so they cheer for these two as well. Awesome. It's one big love-fest. Fall River's Own Angelo Barros tries his best not to throw up his kale soup watching all this sweetness; and he really almost loses it when there's a 4-way handshake. Blech. Someone had better bleed. Anyway, all this love forces Barros to call for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Looks like it will be Crete and Dead to start things off, and the crowd approves. Lock up to start, and Crete gets the advantage; working it into a WWE-Style headlock. Yawn. I can't imagine Crete REALLY needs a rest this early. Clearly he doesn't think so either, and tries a quick Sliced Bread, but Dead is able to throw him off and Crete hits the mat. Elbow drop from the second rope connects from Dead, and he covers. That got a weak 2. Dead pulls Crete off the mat and starts blistering him with chops all the way to the corner. Dead tries to snap off a Hurricarana, but Crete catches him, and looks like he's going to try a Styles Clash. Dead is able to wiggle and backdrop out of THAT. Crete is to his feet quickly, and while Dead tries a Springboard Back Elbow, Crete counters deftly and hits the LONG ARM OF THE LAW! Crete's still shaken by the back body drop, and takes a second to cover. He finally does, but Dead is able to kick out at 2. Crete dives over to his corner to tag in the fresher man, Nayr.
Nayr slingshots into the ring and is on top of Dead with some really weak and generic looking stomps. Blah. However, Dead ends up on his back somehow, and Nayr sees an opportunity. He heads for the top, and tries the MORDOR HANGOVER! He ends up on his ass, just as Dead is able to roll out of the way. Nayr gets up pretty quickly as Dead staggers to his feet. Nayr connects (weakly) with a Spinning Roundhouse Kick. Dead is woozy, but when Nayr closes in to follow up, Dead CLOSES THE CASKET on Nayr. Nayr's kick did enough damage to Dead that he can't immediately cover. In fact, Barros has to start a count before Dead can tag out to Ravenna Blue at 4.
Blue slingshots in and lands a double knee drop on Nayr's chest. Blue tries to end it quickly, but Nayr is still with it enough to kick out at 2. Blue quickly hits a Springboard Moonsault (very cleanly), but again Nayr kicks out at 2. Blue decides to take this to the air, and scrambles to the top rope. She tries a Harlem Hangover but Nayr is able to roll out of the way. Nayr tries to get to his feet to get to his corner, but just as he does, Ravenna hits a sweet Tornado DDT on Nayr. Blue covers again, and this time Crete has to break up the count. Blue glares at Crete as Crete retreats behind the ropes. Blue picks up the nearly deceased Nayr and whips him into the corner before getting him up on the second rope. She gets to the top rope and hits DIAMOND DUST off the top! Blue covers...1....2....NO! Again Crete breaks up the count! Blue glares, but clearly Dead had a feeling that was coming, because he flew in from across the ring to CLOSE THE CASKET on Crete! I don't think Blue saw it, because she looked confused as Crete was unconscious on the mat and Dead back in their corner. Blue decides not to go back to the top; but instead takes advantage of the smaller Nayr and locks him into a SICK LIONTAMER that looks like it's going to break Nayr's neck AND back. Sick. Nayr taps out pretty quickly.
WINNER in 9:46 by SUBMISSION...Ravenna Blue and The Dead!
IHOP vs. WCWThe returning wCw are announced, and Tommy Wilder and JW Westgaard come to the top of the ramp to a thunderous ovation and sprint to the ring. Wilder and Westgaard pause in the ring for a moment, then point to the back where Capellan steps out from the back with Missy and soaks up the cheers. Capellan and Missy join them at ringside and they exchange high fives. IHOP is announced, and SYB, Skurge, The Amnesiac and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth come out to the top of the ramp, then head to the ring. SYB mocks Wilder and Westgaard, so they charge at him and double clothesline him over the top rope to the floor. SYB hits the floor and immediately starts protesting. Wilder hops on the second rope and taunts SYB but Skurge grabs him from behind and hits a release German suplex, dropping Wilder on his head. Skurge pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and knees him in the gut on the rebound, then drops a knee across his chest and covers for a one count. Skurge pulls Wilder to his feet again and sends him to the ropes and lowers his head a moment too soon, Wilder hops over Skurge and tags in Westgaard. JW charges into the ring and takes Skurge to the mat with a shoulder block. SYB runs into the ring and Westgaard stops him cold by slamming him between the eyes with a head butt, sending him back out of the ring. Skurge gets to his feet and nails Westgaard from behind, but JW reverses it and catches Skurge with a CROSS CHECK on the rebound, sending him out of the ring as well. SYB and Skurge confer on the outside again and Skurge slides back into the ring and calls for Westgaard to lock up, but catches him with a kick to the gut, then throws him face first into the IHOP corner. Skurge tags in SYB and SYB comes in and chokes Westgaard with both hands until the referee threatens disqualification. SYB snaps at the ref, but finally breaks and pulls JW out of the corner and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a clothesline, then drops an elbow on him and covers for a two count, which is broken up by Wilder. SYB howls at the referee to get him out of the ring, and while the referee is doing that, SYB blatantly chokes Westgaard again, which causes Capellan to jump onto the apron. The Amnesiac races around the ring and pulls him off and they begin to brawl. Soon, The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and Missy are catfighting too, which leaves SYB staring and cheering on the outside. While he is distracted, Westgaard KILLS him with a crosscheck then tags in Wilder. Tommy climbs to the top rope and tries for a moonsault, but Skurge caches him and DRIVES him to the mat with a reverse brain buster! Skurge pulls SYB on top of Wilder and yells for the referee, then takes out Westgaard. The ref sees the pin and makes the three count.
WINNERS in 10:48 - IHOP
GAELIC STORM vs. TEAM TEAMThe Gaelic Storm music hits and Damon Wrath and Connor McNasty come out to a nice pop from the crowd. Once people realize that there is no Seamus though, they start giving a bit of a mixed reaction. Turns out Seamus is still not allowed to leave the Faroe Islands after the recent……..unpleasantness. Team TeAM is announced and they come out to a HUGE ovation. Eco points to the crowd while Tytan stands there and looks intimidating. They head to the ring and Eco and Wrath will start things off. Collar and elbow to start, Eco snaps him to the mat with an arm drag, then both spring to their feet and Eco catches him with a drop kick to the jaw that sends him back to the TeAM corner. Eco charges in with a double knee to the chest, then tags in Tytan. Wrath staggers out of the corner and Tytan KILLS him with a clothesline to the back of the head, then runs across the ring and nails McNasty off of the apron. Tytan turns back to Wrath and pulls him to his feet and lifts him in a vertical suplex and leaves him there forever, then finally falls back to the mat, floats over and covers, but Wrath kicks out at two. Tytan pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes but lowers his head a moment too soon and Wrath catches him and hooks him for a Spinning Fisherman Buster! Wrath covers, but Tytan kicks out with authority. Wrath tags in McNasty and he charges in and catches Tytan with a boot to the side of the head as he gets to one knee, then climbs to the second rope and yells for Tytan to get to his feet. Tytan stands up and McNasty leaps, but Tytan catches him, then throws him across the ring with a release belly to belly suplex. Tytan tags in Eco and Eco springs to the top rope and leaps, catching McNasty with a missile dropkick to the jaw sending him right back to the mat. Eco waits for McNasty to get up, then charges, but McNasty catches him and hot shots him on the top rope, then tags Wrath back into the match. Damon comes in and drops several knees to the side of Eco’s face, then traps him in the Regal stretch trying for the submission. Eco grunts in pain but refuses to give up. After several minutes trapped, Tytan runs into the ring and breaks the hold with a boot to the side of Wrath’s head. Wrath shakes it off and pulls Eco up and sets him up for a power bomb, but YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB ECOSYSTEM and he reverses it into a DDT planting Wrath on the mat. Eco reaches out and tags in Tytan, Tytan pulls Wrath off the mat and hits the STEINER SCREWDRIVER! Tytan grabs Wrath and flips him over in the Corporate Red Tape while Eco takes care of McNasty. Wrath fights, but is forced to tap.
WINNERS in 7:09 – Team TeAM
TEAM FUEL vs. THE DRAGONSThe first round of the annual tag team invitational continues here with a returning tag team facing the reunion of a current tag team. Bryce Larson has just returned to action following an injury and he seems just a bit “off,” but his partner, Chris “Lionheart” Evans is hoping that it doesn’t affect his in-ring ability because Fuel has a tough first-round match. Their opponents are making a return to the OOWF hoping for a second chance, Blackdragon and Souldragon enter the arena to Saliva’s “Tear Away.” They get a good reaction from the crowd and look ready for action when Pantera’s “Cowboys From Hell” kicks in. Evans is out first and stands on the ramp waiting for Larson to join him. Bryce finally comes out and for some unknown reason he’s carrying a deck of cards with him and he’s tossing them one by one into the crowd as if he was Gambit. Evans just shakes his head as he gets into the ring. Mel Creech is the ref for this one and he makes sure both teams are ready as he calls for the bell. Evans turns to look at his partner who is sitting outside the ring in the corner playing solitaire.
Evans has his back turned and that costs him as SD gets a jump start and hits a running SoulDragon Express to CE’s back and sends him crashing into the corner. Without even realizing, Larson was reaching out to make a move and he taps Evans on the shoulder and now he’s in the match. He looks a tad confused, but just shrugs as SD is laughing. And that’s a mistake because even in his off-kilter state, Bryce Larson is one of the best wrestlers on the planet and he springboards off the top and takes Soul down with a Springboard Dropkick. And the “King of the Indies” is back in the flow as he takes SD up and over with a snap suplex. He drags him back into his corner where Evans tags himself back in. Bryce shrugs as Evans comes in and starts firing knife-hand chops at SD. Evans lifts Soul up and places him on the top rope and follows him up as Larson tags in. BL heads to the opposite corner as Evans hits a top-rope Hurricanrana and as soon as SD hits the mat, Larson is flying off and connects with a Frog Splash. He hooks the leg…
1…
2…
Blackdragon in to break up the count with a hard kick to Larson’s head. As Creech sends BD back to his corner, Larson drags SD up to his feet and he starts throwing a variety of strikes…its THE DRAGON’S FIRE capped off by the DRAGON STRIKE. He whips Soul across the ring and they both hit the ropes and BL connects with a picturesque leg lariat. He grabs hold of SD’s leg as he pulls him back to the corner and tags in Evans. CE slingshots over the top and hits a leg drop on SD. He rolls off and goes to the corner to wait for SD to get to his feet, but as he gets to his knees, Evans darts out of the corner…OLYMPIC STRIKE. Another cover made by Fuel…
1…
2…
And once again BD is in to break up a count. He lifts Evans up and nails him with a TIGER SUPLEX. He gets to his feet and he catches Larson charging and takes him out with a DKO DROP. BD is on fire, but he’s not the legal man and Creech is having a hard time getting him back to the outside. As he’s pushing him back, Evans and Larson are slowly getting back up. Larson is behind BD, Evans is in front…CHOP BLOCK by Larson, CLOTHESLINE FROM HADES by Evans…they just went HIGH/LOW on BD and he rolls to the floor. SD is getting to his feet…CODEBREAKER by Evans and SD turns right into a SUPERKICK from Evans. Soul Dragon staggers back right into an EYE OF THE STORM from Chris Evans which sends him right into a third SUPERKICK from Larson…that’s SHINOBI’S RAGE. And Soul Dragon might be dead. Larson makes the cover as Evans gets a running start and flies over the top with a SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP on Blackdragon. The cover on Soul Dragon gets the easy 1, 2, and 3 count.
WINNERS in 7:45…”Bulletproof” Bryce Larson and “Lionheart” Chris Evans…Team FUEL!!!
FIREWOMAN & STANK vs. OUTBACK JACK & THE AMNESIACThe lights to the arena darken and red spots illuminate the entrance, ramp, and ring. A large V appears on the OOWFtron, as Stank and Firewoman appear, Stank with the Intercontinental title, and Firewoman with the DDT Iron
person Heavy Metal Title. The crowd predictably boos, and the two don't seem to care. They make their entrance, glaring at the crowd, and get ready. They don't have to wait long, because Outback Jack and the Amnesiac also appear, and the mood of the crowd changes to reflect the face's entrance. As they enter the ring, Outback Jack tries one last time to get Stank's attention, but it doesn't work. Outback Jack gets into Stank's face and the two men get nose to nose for some trash talking. The trash talking ends when Stank pushes OBJ hard into the ropes. Amnesiac and Firewoman assume that the starting players have thus been decided and go to the corners, and Fall River's Own Angelo Barros calls for the bell.
OBJ does not take kindly to being pushed by his former partner, so he comes out swinging. The two trade a barrage of punches, forearms, elbows, chops, whatever they can get through the other party's defenses. Finally, OBJ manages to vent just a bit more fury, enough that he can grab Stank by the head. He turns and runs straight for the corner, running Stank's head into the ring post. Firewoman is up on the ramp yelling at Barros, who ignores her and starts his count. Firewoman runs over to the corner where Stank is meeting the ring post, but she's cut off by Amnesiac. Firewoman wisely heads back to her corner, and OBJ breaks off his assault when Barros hits four. OBJ backs up and then lands a big stiff kick to Stank's stomach. Stank doubles over, and OBJ grabs him around the neck, and lifts him up for a delayed vertical suplex. Stank goes down and OBJ pounces for the cover. Stank kicks out at two. OBJ gets him to his feet, and drags him over to the corner, tagging in the Amnesiac. Amnesiac climbs to the top rope as OBJ puts Stank into position. Amnesiac flies with a missile drop kick that connects as OBJ rolls out of the ring. Stank is down and Amnesiac makes his first pin, but it's broken up by Firewoman who boots him in the head. Barros ushers her out, and Stank grabs Amnesiac, picking him up and leveling him with a spine buster. He stands and looks to the crowd along the four sides of the ring and raises his right hand with a V. The crowd totally hates this and boo him loudly as he looks down and puts the boots to Amnesiac. He lifts him up again, but the Amnesiac wiggles free, and flips over Stank, trying for a sunset flip. Stank is too big for him to pull over though, but he does see the opportunity for the Stankonia 2.0. He runs the ropes and jumps...but misses as Amnesiac has drawn on his lucha background, and rolled backward to get out of the way. He leaps to his feet, and bounces off the ropes for a shining wizard to Stank's head. Stank falls over, but his head is way thicker, and while Amnesiac is in the process of going for the pin, Stank grabs him by the legs and flapjacks him to the mat. He goes for a cover, but Amnesiac gets a shoulder up. Firewoman is on the corner jumping up and down, holding her hand out. She wants to do some damage of her own. Stank nods, and grabs Amnesiac by the leg and drags him over to the V corner. She slaps Firewoman's hand, and gets a sick grin as she vaults over the top rope.
Now it's her turn to put the boots to Amnesiac, as he's isolated from his own corner. She wraps the legs and grabs the arms, setting him up for the Firestomp, but she doesn't have the legs quite right. Amnesiac is able to move one leg just enough that it buckles hers, and she falls to the mat. Amnesiac rolls through and gets her legs tied up in a Sharpshooter. Unfortunately, he did this kind of near the heels' corner, and Stank comes in with a boot to the head to return the favor from earlier. This brings OBJ into the ring, and a Pier Four brawl breaks out. OBJ and Stank go back to trading blows, and Firewoman takes her anger out on Amnesiac for breaking up her favorite move. Barros thinks about calling for help from the back, but is able to get OBJ and Stank back to their corners, and turns toward Amnesiac and Firewoman. Amnesiac is done with the lucha for now, and picks Firewoman up for a powerslam that rattles her teeth. He makes the pin, but she gets a shoulder up at two. He grabs her hair (she hates that) and "helps her up" into a snapmare. Fire reaches back with a gouge to the eye, but Amnesiac continues with his plan and pulls her back (still holding the hair) into a lungblower. Fire is down and in pain. Amnesiac is holding his eye with one hand, but a handful of red hair in the other. Barros decides the two offenses cancel each other out, so no bell for the DQ. Fire tries to crawl to her corner, while Amnesiac heads for his........
Tags are made, and we have Stank and OBJ. Jack rushes in with a flurry, and Stank drops him with a toe hold, followed by an elbow drop. Outside of the ring, Firewoman recovers and she's not happy about the loss of hair, and she stalks Amnesiac on the outside. OBJ rolls away from a second elbow drop, and gets a foot up to Stank's face instead. Stank goes down and OBJ pounces, getting a two count. He mounts Stank and begins firing punches to the face. Firewoman comes up to Amnesiac on his temporarily blind side, and grabs his arm, whipping him into the ring post. Barros notices, but he's busing explaining to OBJ that he is not supposed to use punches. Stank recovers, grabs OBJ by the arm and whips him into the corner. He runs in for a Splash that rocks OBJ's world. OBJ falls, and Stank goes for the pin and it's one...two....no! as Amnesiac rolls in and just barely breaks up the pin. Firewoman comes in after him and the brawl is back on. OBJ and Stank go at it again, and Amnesiac whips Firewoman into the ropes. She holds on, thus missing the clothesline he had waiting for her, and then she levels him with an Ironic Yakuza kick. Amnesiac falls like a ton of bricks, and Firewoman rolls out, running around to the outside of the ring. Meanwhile, OBJ has recovered a bit and goes back to try to lock Stank into position for a suplex, but Stank counters. He lifts Outback Jack onto his shoulders in a Fireman's Carry as Firewoman climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. The Amnesiac is still laid out in the middle of the ring. Firewoman pauses a moment at the top as Stank turns to face her. They nod and Firewoman leaps and lands both feet on Outback Jack's back. Firewoman pushes off and hits the Firebomb (double moonsault) onto the Amnesiac. She hits at exactly the same time as Stank completes the Stank U, a degree of precisions you won't see in any other wrestling federation. They Skip a Generation! This elicits a "Ho-ly Shit" chant from the crowd. Firewoman rolls off Amnesiac, grabbing her ribs, and Stank makes the pin on his former partner. One-two-three!
WINNERS in 16:11 - FIREWOMAN AND STANK.
Stank looks down at the bodies laying about the ring and a broad smile breaks out on his face. He grabs Firewoman's hand and helps her up, then they both raise their arms in victory.
THE MIDNIGHT SONS vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADEThe Devil’s Brigade, Harper Camby and Tommy O’Neil are announced and make their way to the ring first, and the fans certainly remember how much they hated them. The boos rain down on them but neither seem to notice or care. The Mignight Sons are announced and the crowd explodes. DH and Spin make their way to the ring through the crowd, and as they hop the guard rail, Harper and Tommy leave the ring and attack. Camby catches Spin as he is on the railing and hammers him with shots to the back of the head. Tommy and Magnusson trade punches and DH gets the better of it and steps over the railing and sends Tommy flying with a clubbing clothesline to the chest. Camby hooks Spin and tries to suplex him over the rail, but Spin frees himself with several body shots, then grabs Camby and slams him between the eyes with a head butt that sends him staggering backward. Spin shows surprising agility for a big man and hops onto the guard rail and hits a flying shoulder block on Camby that sends him flying. On the other side of the ring Magnusson pulls Tommy to his feet and kicks him in the gut, then sends him back first into the steel ring steps, then rolls him into the ring and follows. DH pulls Tommy up and scoops him up and drops him down on his knee. O’Neil howls in pain on the mat. On the outside Spin pulls Camby to his feet and starts to whip him to the guard rail, but pulls him back and hits a brutal SPINEBUSTER on the concrete! Camby grabs the back of his head and writhes in pain. Inside the ring, Magnusson has Tommy on his feet and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and O’Neil PLANTS him with a DDT. Tommy O’Neil gets to his feet and calls for the WICKED LEFT and waits for Magnusson to get to his feet. As DH stands up, Tommy winds up, but Spin catches him from behind and DRIVES him to the mat with a full nelson choke slam! Spin covers, but Tommy kicks out at two. Magnusson steps to the apron and lands a kick to the back of Camby’s head as he tries to get up, sending him right back to the floor. Inside the ring, Spin pulls Tommy up and sets him on the top rope, then tags in DH Magnusson. Spin hits a superplex and Magnusson bounds off the ropes and drops a knee right across O’Neil’s chest, then covers for a two count. DH has Tommy on his feet one more time and grabs him for a choke slam, and lifts him in the air, but Camby is finally back into the ring and catches DH with a chop block from behind, sending him to the mat. Tommy tries to make the tag, but Spin comes in and grabs him from behind and DROPS him with a reverse DDT. Spin and DH get to their feet and send grabs Camby and cut him in half with the HIGH LOW! Spin calls for the 100 Proof and he grabs O’Neil and lifts him up for a power bomb, and Magnusson comes off the ropes with a fist drop between the eyes! The crowd erupts as DH covers and counts along as the referee counts three.
WINNERS in 15:51 – The Midnight Sons
ALEXANDER DARLING & DAVIN MORELAND vs. 3PIECE SETThere are all sorts of fun little sub-plots available here in this match, not the least of which Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling being reunited here this evening. Throw in the Cole/Davin dynamic and the Cole/DEA dynamic, and this is sure to be a good one. “Master of Puppets” hits the PA, and here comes 3PieceSet. Chris Cole gets a nice pop as he's joined by Ax-Man (who also gets a nice pop). They make their way into the ring and start flashing the 3PieceSet sign to everyone; and for the first time probably ever, it's getting a face pop. It's been an interesting tournament to this point, and this match should be no different. Now the fans start to buzz as they know what's coming next. “Ladies and Gentlemen” fires up, and it appears that the old Run DEA music is going to get a face pop tonight too, except this one is much louder than the 3PieceSet one. Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling sort of eye each other on the ramp, wearing their old matching gear. They keep looking until Samantha Darling-Moreland and Alexis Darling join them on the ramp and sort of drag them down the ramp. The Darlings all climb into the ring and watch Davin do his customary Double Jump of Impressive Athleticism into the ring. Those four make the “4-5-1” DEA sign each on their own turnbuckle; and it, again, gets another huge face pop. Weird. Senior Referee Davis Hightower ushers the Darling sisters to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Interesting, as the four combatants mill about the ring, no one really trusting the other as they try to figure out who's going to go first. Eventually they settle on Ax-Man and Alexander Darling. Those two lock up, and Darling uses his height advantage to leverage Ax into the corner. Hightower calls for the break, and Darling gives Ax a nice paintbrush across the face. He smirks, the crowd cheers, and Ax-Man is unhappy. Ax-Man starts blistering Darling with chops across the chest all the way to the middle of the ring. Ax then sweeps Darling's leg and grabs his arm, locking it into a hammerlock; in a pretty sweet display of technical wrestling. Darling slaps his shoulder twice (as required by law)and manages to crawl near 3PieceSet's corner and grab the ropes. Ax takes this opportunity to tag in Cole, and Ax exposes Darling's ribs nicely, so that Cole can land a couple of stiff kicks to Darling's ribcage. Darling rolls away but Cole doesn't chase him. Instead, when Darling gets to his knees, he looks up and sees Cole with a serious look, pointing over at Davin Moreland; which pops the crowd immediately, and they all get to their feet as well. Darling takes his sweet-ass time getting up (smartly) before sauntering over to Moreland. Darling dramatically holds his hand out and gives Davin a “wanna?” look. Davin gives the big smile and forcefully tags Darling's hand. The crowd goes absolutely batshit.
Davin Moreland. “The Main Event” Chris Cole. The crowd is absolutely bonkers as they both do the Rock/Hogan spot (further away from each other of course). So, one more time these two will lock up, and they do so right in the middle of the ring; although it's not very long before Cole delivers a knee into Davin's gut. BIG European Uppercut from Cole rocks the big man. Kick to the gut. Legsweep sends Davin on his back. Cole starts hammering away on Davin's face with right hands. It's ALL Cole, and Davin looks like he's in a bunch of trouble. Cole finishes this sequence off by using the Greco-Roman smash-Davin's-head-into-the-mat-over-and-over move, before Hightower is able to pull him off. The crowd's booing the shit out of Cole, and he loves it. He stands up, looks at what's left of Davin, and locks on his TEXAS CLOVERLEAF!
Oh boy, Davin's in some big-time trouble and he's letting us all know it. He's trying to crawl to the to the ropes, but it doesn't look good for him. Davin's got to be close to tapping...until Darling comes flying in with a big kick to the temple and breaking up the hold. Ax-Man comes running at Darling, but Darling is easily able to Back Body Drop Ax to the outside. Hightower is yelling at Darling to get out of the ring, so he obliges with a TOPE CON HILO on Ax on the outside. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Hightower has a count on Davin and Cole, both getting to their feet around 6. Cole gathers himself first and runs at Davin. Davin straightens and catches Cole. Belly-to-Belly Suplex by Davin gets the House-O-Fire pop. Cole is up quickly and is blown up by a clothesline. Cole bounces to his feet again, and Davin rag-dolls him into the corner before delivering some Batista Shoulder Tackles on Cole. Davin gestures to the crowd that he's going for Sweet Dreams and goes in; but Cole hits him with the most devastating move in Wrestling History...a thumb to the eye! Davin staggers away, and Cole hits a Double Axe-Handle from the second rope! Davin keels over and takes a knee. Cole darts around and is trying to get the big man up! He's going for the Headliner!
Samantha Darling-Moreland hops up on the apron suddenly, and starts to talk about Obama's Healthcare Policy with Davis Hightower. Cole sees it and turns around finding what he expected. Alexis Darling is standing there with a well-used Barbed-Wire Covered Sledgehammer. Alexis is momentarily stunned, and it's enough for Cole to rip it out of her hands. Cole is just about to use it, when suddenly Alexander Darling comes in and hits a Van Daminator on Cole! Ax-Man climbs into the ring, bloodied, and looking for revenge on Darling. Alexis grabs the discarded chair and blasts Ax-Man with it before leaving the ring with it. Alexander hits a Phoenix Splash, and finishes up a DARK DARLING RISING on Cole. Samantha hops off the apron. Darling sets up Cole for a Darling Driver! He gets him up and Moreland limps to and hits the ropes. We get to see it one more time! DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER! Cole is DEAD! Darling obediently goes back to the outside where Hightower shoos him. He turns back around to see Davin locking in a SHARPSHOOTER on Cole. To his credit, after all the punishment, Cole does hang on as long as he can; but eventually has to tap out to Davin one last time.
WINNERS in 14:36 by SUBMISSION...Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling!
Post-match, Hightower raises both Davin and Alexander's arms, with the sisters in their respective places. He powders out expecting there would be some sort of celebration. However, Samantha hands Davin his sunglasses. He puts them on, and the two immediately head up the ramp to the disappointment of the crowd and, it appears, the Darling Twins.
KZ vs. THE WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAMPink Floyd's “Money” blasts from the arena speakers, and The World's Greatest Fag Team – F.F. Capslock and Ryan Hardcore – step onto the stage with Lauren Phoenix and Lance the Butler. The crowd gives a rousing ovation to the returning superstars as they make their way to the ring. Capslock asks for a microphone and is about to speak, but is cut off by Ministry's “Scarecrow”. The Tag Team Champions, belts in hand, storm through the curtain and down the aisle as the crowd's cheers turn to a chorus of boos. kz slide under the ropes and Moosehead Jack PASTES Hardcore with his belt and L.D. Williams spears Capslock. Williams and Capslock topple through the ropes to the floor and Hardcore drops like he's been shot, nose gushing blood. Moose immediately pounces, and starts slamming punches into Hardcore's face. Referee Davis Hightower kicks both belts out of the ring and drags Moose off of Hardcore. Hightower checks on Hardcore, who waves him off, saying he's good to go. Hightower shrugs and calls for the bell.
Moose moves in and Hardcore buries a knee in his stomach. He points at Williams and Capslock on the outside and, when Hightower turns to look, DRIVES a forearm between Moose's legs, lifting him off the mat. Moose starts to topple, and Hardcore drops him with a stunner. Hardcore rolls to his feet and stomps on Moose's groin, then rolls him over into a Boston crab. Moose crawls for the ropes, but Hardcore drags him back. Williams, a step ahead of Capslock, slides into the ring and nails Hardcore from behind with a forearm. Hightower keeps Capslock out of the ring and manages to force Williams to his corner as well.
Both Moose and Hardcore get to their feet. Hardcore tries to shoot the leg, but Moose drives an elbow into the back of his head. Moose pulls him to his feet and lays a couple of punches into his damaged nose. He sends Hardcore into kz's corner and follows him with a clothesline. He winds Hardcore's arm and makes the tag. Williams comes in with a kick to the ribs and takes over the arm. He winds it up and takes Hardcore over, then bars the arm and drives a series of elbows into his neck. Williams tries to lock on the Crippler Crossface, but Hardcore grabs the ropes to break it. Williams drags Hardcore to his feet and takes him over with a suplex. He rolls Hardcore onto his stomach, but eats an elbow when he tries for the STF. Hardcore crawls for his corner, but Williams grabs his foot and drags him back. Hardcore turns and tries an enzugiri, but Williams ducks and catches the leg. He shifts his grip and plants Hardcore with a wheelbarrow suplex.
While Hightower is watching all of this, Moose pulls the cover off the top turnbuckle in the kz corner. Williams tries to whip Hardcore into it, but Hardcore reverses. Williams stops himself just before he hits the steel, but a Hardcore dropkick drive his face into the turnbuckle. Williams bounces off, bleeding, and Hardcore dives for his corner and makes the tag.
Capslock is in and levels Williams with a lariat. Moose comes in and gets the same treatment. Body slam for Williams. Body slam for Moose. Capslock sends Williams to the ropes and drops him with a back elbow. A big boot sends Moose through the ropes to the floor. Capslock drags Williams up – power bomb! Capslock hooks the leg, but Williams rolls a shoulder just before three. Capslock picks Williams up and hits a suplex, then pops his hips and hits another one. He tries for a third, but Williams drops behind him and hits a German suplex.
Capslock gets to his feet and Williams spears him, driving the back of his head into the exposed turnbuckle. Williams makes the tag and drags Capslock out of the corner. He holds Capslock in place as Moose gets a running start – Busaiku Knee! Blood is already pooling under Capslock's head as Moose makes the cover. Hightower counts One...Two...Thr-Hardcore makes the save. Williams starts into the ring, but Hightower cuts him off. Hardcore gets in some kicks as Moose gets up. Hardcore tries an Irish whip, but Moose reverses. Moose steps out of the way as Hardcore rebounds , and Williams shoves Hightower out of the way, stepping forward and planting Hardcore with a spinebuster. Williams bounces to his feet, drags Hardcore up, and flings him at Moose. Ranhei! Capslock staggers to his feet and Williams springboards off the second rope and drives a kick into the side of his head. Capslock spins around and Moose pins his arm up – HEARTPUNCH! Williams dives out of the ring, hooking Hardcore on the way and dragging him with him. Moose covers Capslock and hooks both legs as Hightower counts One...Two...Three.
WINNERS, in 14:26, kz.
POE vs. MATT FOLZ – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchThe OOWF Onslaught Champion is announced first and makes his way to the ring to the cheers of the fans. Folz climbs to the apron, wipes his feet, then steps between the ropes. As Folz hands off his belt and tests the ropes, the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe is announced and he comes up from the floor with Selena by his side. He snarls at the fans and glares at Folz as he makes his way to the ring. Poe holds the ropes for Selena, then steps over the top rope into the ring. Poe hands Selena the title and she skips around the ring with it, then leaves and sits at ring side. The referee calls both men to the middle of the ring and goes over the instructions. After all that, he calls for them to shake hands. Folz sticks his hand out, and Poe surprises everyone in the arena by snarling, but shaking it. The referee calls for the bell and we are underway.
The two slowly circle and lock up, Folz grabs an arm wringer that drops Poe to one knee. Folz tries to force Poe to the mat, but Poe fights back to his feet and reverses it into an arm wringer of his own and snaps Folz’s arm and takes him to the mat, pulling back on his arm. Folz works to one knee then grabs Poe’s leg and hits several elbows to the side of his knee, throwing Poe off balance enough to release Folz’s arm. Folz trips Poe up with a drop toe hold and takes him to the mat, then grabs a side head lock, but Poe quickly works to his feet and sends Folz to the ropes and lowers his head, Folz leap frogs over Poe, then on the rebound Poe tries a hip toss, but Folz blocks it, knees Poe in the stomach, then takes him over with a back slide for a two count. Poe kicks out and spins to his feet just in time to get rocked by a European uppercut from Folz that sends Poe to the ropes, on the rebound Folz grabs Poe and PLANTS him on the mat with a belly to belly suplex for another two count.
Folz pulls Poe to a sitting position and lands several hard kicks to Poe’s back and ribs, then pulls the big man to his feet and DROPS him with a lungblower! Poe winces in pain and grabs his ribs, Folz covers and gets another two count. Folz is not moved by the repeated two counts and pulls Poe up and tries a suplex, but Poe blocks it and escapes, then KILLS Folz with a clubbing clothesline across the chest that sends Folz back to the corner. Poe charges in and catches Folz with an elbow to the jaw, then lifts him off his feet and hits a belly to back suplex, dropping Folz on the back of his head. Poe winces a little as he hits the mat too, grabbing his ribs in pain once again. Poe gets to his feet and kicks Folz in the face, then bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across his chest and covers for a two count of his own.
Poe pulls Folz to his feet and kicks him in the gut and lifts him in an over the shoulder back breaker trying for the submission, but Folz refuses to give up. After several torturous minutes, Poe dumps Folz to the mat, grabs his legs and traps him in the DESERT SCORPION! Poe leans way back threatening to snap Folz’s leg and spine, but Folz does not tap. Instead he ever so slowly makes his way to the ropes and finally grabs the bottom rope forcing the break. Poe does not give him any time to recover however, he pulls him up and drops him across his knee, holding him there trying for another submission, Folz howls in pain, but refuses to quit. Finally Poe throws him off his knee, but immediately pulls him to his feet and whips him HARD into the corner, Folz SLAMS back first into the turnbuckle and staggers forward, right into a HIEROGLYPH! The move knocks Folz between the ropes to the floor.
Poe stares down at Folz from inside the ring and snarls, then slowly leaves the ring and pulls the barely conscious Folz to his feet and scoops him up for a slam, but Folz was playing possum! He slips off of Poe’s shoulder, landing behind him, then hits an OLYMPIC SLAM dropping Poe on the steel ring steps! Poe grabs his ribs in pain as both men collapse to the floor and the referee starts the ten count. Folz is up at five and he pulls Poe to his feet and rolls him under the ropes and covers, but Poe rolls his shoulder at two. Folz lets Poe get to his feet then charges, Poe tries to get a boot up, but Folz catches it, sweeps his other leg and traps Poe in the ankle lock! Poe is wild eyed with rage as he writhes in pain on the mat. Folz knows Poe’s ankle is his Achilles heel and he torques on the pressure trying to get Poe to submit the title. Poe refuses and slowly works toward the ropes, but Folz pulls him back. Poe manages to roll over on his back and land several stiff kicks to the midsection that finally breaks the hold and sends Folz back to the corner. AS Poe gets to one knee, Folz charges out of the corner and catches him with a knee to the skull. Poe collapses in a heap, and Folz covers, but only gets a two count.
Folz pulls Poe up and sets him on the top rope and climbs up after him for a superplex, but Poe holds on for dear life, and manages to land a few body shots, and shove Folz off the top rope into the middle of the ring. Folz pops right back up and charges into the corner and scales the ropes and grabs Poe for a top rope belly to belly suplex, but once again Poe holds on. Folz leaps onto Poe’s shoulders trying for a top rope hurracarana, but Poe holds on once again and reverses it into a TOP ROPE CRUCIFIX BOMB! Poe crawls over to Folz and covers, hooking the leg and getting the one, two, three!
WINNER in 22:41 - Poe
After the match, Folz gets to his feet and sees Poe standing in the corner with the title over his shoulder. Folz struggles, but staggers to the middle of the ring and offers his hand. Poe smirks, then explodes out of the corner and KILLS Folz with a HIEROGLYPH! Poe stands over Folz’s prone body as the rest of the Five charges to the ring. Kz pulls Folz to his feet and sends him to Stank, Stank hits the STANK-U! They grab Folz and set him up for Fire to hit a Firestomp but Eco, Tytan, Spin, DH and Outback Jack storm the ring. The five of them brawl for a moment, then The Five powder out and slowly back up the ramp while TeAM and Drink & Destroy beg them to come back for more.
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