OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom 6
Live! From Houston, Delaware
IHOP vs. CONCRETE TG, OUTBACK JACK & RAVENNA BLUEThe unlikely trio of Outback Jack, Concrete TG and Ravenna Blue are announced and make their way to the ring to the cheers of the crowd. Crete looks like he will start things for his team. IHOP is announced, and they come to the top of the ramp with full entourage in tow. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth leads IHOP to the ring. The trio step between the ropes and as is the usual custom, Skurge looks to start things out against Crete. SYB is in the corner running his mouth, sounds like he challenged Jack to a drinking contest, that isn’t going to end well. The referee calls for the bell and we are ready to go!
Crete and Skurge circle and lock up, Crete immediately goes behind Skurge and runs him to the ropes and tries a roll up, but Skurge holds onto the top rope and shakes Crete off. Crete rolls through and gets to his feet and Skurge charges and takes Crete to the mat with a head scissors. Crete pops to his feet and Skurge tries a hip toss, but Crete blocks it and reverses it into a neck breaker. Crete keeps Skurge on the mat and reaches out and tags in Jack.
Outback Jack comes in and drops a knee across Skurge’s chest and covers him, but Skurge kicks out before the one count. Jack traps Skurge in an arm bar and Skurge slowly works to his feet and backs Jack into the corner. The referee calls for a clean break, and Jack releases the hold, but Skurge catches him with a chop to the chest, then knees him in the gut and runs him into the IHOP corner slamming him into the middle turnbuckle then tagging in The Amnesiac.
The Amnesiac rocks Jack with several European uppercuts, then tries to whip him out of the corner, but Jack holds on and slams The Amnesiac between the eyes with a head butt staggering him, then catches Skurge and SYB with elbows to the jaw sending them to the floor. Jack climbs to the middle rope and leaps, catching The Amnesiac with an elbow to the top of the head that sends him to the mat. Jack pulls TA to his feet and scoops him up for a tombstone, but SYB charges in and hits him from behind sending both men to the mat. Jack gets to his feet quickly and turns to go after SYB, SYB scurries away and TA uses the distraction to nail Jack with a low blow sending him back to the mat. The referee never saw it.
SYB screams for the tag and The Amnesiac drags Jack to the IHOP corner and tags in SYB. SYB climbs to the top rope and leaps and lands a leg drop across Jack’s chest. SYB looks shocked. Gotta say, I am too. SYB covers, but Jack kicks out at two. SYB pulls Jack to his feet and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Jack holds on and reverses it and pulls SYB to him and hits a release overhead suplex, sending SYB across the ring. Jack gets to his feet and levels SYB with a clothesline, then tags in Ravenna Blue.
Ravenna comes in and pulls SYB up and sends him to the ropes and elevates him in a high back body drop. As SYB hits the mat and gets to his knees grabbing his stomach, Ravenna bounds off the ropes and catches him with a shining wizard, then covers, but only gets a two count because Skurge comes in and breaks up the pin with a flying knee to Ravenna’s shoulder. Ravenna grabs her shoulder in pain on the mat, and SYB gets to his feet and adds to her pain with several kicks to the shoulder. SYB pulls her to her feet and wrings her arm, but Ravenna reverses it and ducks under SYB’s arm and hits an exploder suplex for another two count.
SYB gets to his feet and Ravenna catches him with a kick to the mouth that sends him to the mat. Ravenna springs to the top rope and hits a moonsault onto SYB and covers again, and once again gets a two count. Ravenna tags in Crete, and Crete comes in with a rolling senton, then charges to the IHOP corner and nails Amnesiac and Skurge. Crete grabs SYB for a suplex, but SYB slips out of Crete’s grip and hits a scientific thumb to the eye, then runs to the corner and tags in Skurge. Skurge grabs Crete from behind and hits a trio of German suplexes, bridging on the last one and getting a two count.
Skurge pulls Crete up and sends her to the ropes and catches him with a kick to the midsection and grabs him for a DDT, but Ravenna Blue charges in and connects with a spinning heel kick to his head. SYB runs in and attacks Ravenna, which brings in Jack and The Amnesiac as well. The six brawl around the ring, Ravenna catches SYB with a DDT and throws him out of the ring, Jack reverses an Amnesiac whip and catches him with a boot to the face that sends him to the floor as well. Skurge pulls Crete to his feet and tries a pedigree, but Crete lifts him and reverses it into an Alabama Slam! Crete covers, but SYB regains his composure for a moment and reaches into the ring and rakes his eyes. Ravenna charges across the ring and dives between the ropes and kills SYB, at the same time Jack leaps off the apron and catches Amnesiac with a flying clothesline. Inside the ring, Skurge grabs Crete and blasts him with a chop, then sets him on the top rope and tries a superplex, but Crete kicks Skurge away and hops onto his shoulders then hits a VICTORY ROLL! The referee counts, and Skurge kicks out a moment too late, and Crete gets the three count.
WINNERS in 13:59 – Concrete TG, Ravenna Blue & Outback Jack
TEAM FUEL vs. TEAM TEAM – OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament FinalsThis match is the OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament finals. Team Fuel is announced first, and they sprint to the ring and slide under the bottom ropes and hop to the middle turnbuckles and get a decidedly mixed reaction from the crowd. They mostly ignore it, except for Larson who looks a bit confused by it all. Team TEaM is announced next and all three members come to the ring. Eco, Tytan and Folz bump knuckles and step between the ropes and the crowd roars their approval. Seeing Folz out there brings Firewoman to ringside, much to the disapproval of the crowd. The referee appears to be ok with letting the extra members at ringside and calls for the bell starting the match.
Evans and Eco start things and slowly circle, then Evans darts in and catches Eco with a knife edge chop to the chest, Eco responds with one of his own and Evans hits the ropes and comes back and slides between Eco’s feet and pops to his feet behind him and catches Eco with a leg lariat as he turns around. Eco hits the mat, and Evans tries to pounce on him with a side head lock, but Eco slips free and reverses it to a hammerlock. Evans gets to his feet and Eco shoves him to the ropes and tries a hip toss, but Evans blocks it, knees Eco in the gut and hits a neck breaker sending Eco to the mat.
Evans reaches out and tags in Larson, Larson springs over the top rope and hits a rolling senton on Eco, then he and Evans charge across the ring and catch Tytan napping, hitting a double drop kick that sends Tytan to the floor. Larson picks up Eco and hits an inverted atomic drop, then Evans takes him to the mat with a flying clothesline before the referee escorts him out of the ring. Larson covers Eco, but only gets a one count. Larson pulls Eco to his feet and hits a snap suplex, then floats over for another one count. Eco slowly gets to his feet as Larson heads to the corner, but Eco was playing a little possum, and when Larson leaps for a cross body block, Eco ducks out of the way and Larson crashes and burns. As Larson gets to his knees holding his midsection, Eco charges and hits a shining wizard, then tags in Tytan.
Tytan comes in and drops an elbow across the small of Larson’s back, then plants a knee in the small of his back and pulls back on his head, trying for a submission. Larson howls in pain but will not give up. He slowly fights to his feet but Tytan just grabs him, spins him around and scoops him up and plants him on the mat. Larson arches his back in pain and Tytan bounds off the ropes and drops a leg across his chest, then covers, but Larson kicks out at two. Tytan pulls Larson to his feet and sends him into the corner and then charges in, but Larson catches him with an elbow to the jaw, then springs to the second rope and tries a flying back elbow, but Tytan catches him and dumps him to the mat with a release half nelson suplex, dropping Larson right on his head. Tytan covers, but Evans comes in and breaks up the pin at two. Tytan pulls Larson up and sends him into the TEaM corner and tags in Eco. Tytan puts Larson on the top rope and Eco comes in and hits a superplex, then floats over for another two count, but once again Evans comes in and breaks it up, which draws protest from Folz. Folz’s protests bring Firewoman around the ring and they begin to argue.
Eco pulls Larson to his feet and tries an Olympic slam, but Larson slips off Eco’s shoulders and reverses it into a lungblower. Both men are down and Larson starts to crawl toward his corner. The crowd urges Eco to his feet and he stands up just as Larson tags in Evans. Evans charges in and tries a clothesline, but Eco breaks out the nifty Trish Stratus matrix move and avoids it, Evans bounds off the ropes and Eco flips him over with a monkey flip, but Evans lands on his feet and springs off the middle rope and catches Eco with a flying forearm that sends him to the mat. Evans covers, but Eco kicks out at two. Evans grabs Eco’s legs and flips him over in a Boston crab, wrenching it WAY back like a Walls of Jericho, which makes Fire smile on the outside. Eco finally makes his way to the ropes after an eternity, and is about to grab them when Larson distracts the referee and Fire grabs the ropes and pulls them back so Eco can’t reach them. Folz charges across the ring and tackles Fire and they begin to brawl around the ring. Folz catches Fire with a knee to her ribs, sending her to the floor gasping for air.
Evans sees this on the outside and dives between the ropes and takes out Folz, sending him slamming into the guard rail. Evans slides back into the ring and tags in Larson. Larson comes in and catches Eco with a flying diamond cutter as he gets to his feet. Larson rolls Eco over and covers, but Eco kicks out at two. Larson gets to his feet and charges across the ring and nails Tytan, almost knocking him off the apron. The two jaw for a moment, then Eco gets to his feet behind Larson and runs him to the ropes and rolls him up, but Larson reverses it. Before the referee can turn around, Tytan charges into the ring and BLASTS Larson with a big boot to the face allowing Eco to reverse the move again! Tytan keeps Evans from coming back into the ring and the referee sees the pin and makes the one, two, three!
WINNERS in 20:11 – and WINNERS of the 2009 OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament – Team TEaM
MATT FOLZ vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchFolz and Firewoman remain at ringside, but the referee orders Team TEaM and Team Fuel to the back to try and keep some semblance of order. After some arguing both teams head to the back and Folz and Firewoman climb into the ring and the referee calls for the bell and we are ready to go. The bell has hardly stopped echoing when Fire charges across the ring and tries an attack on Folz, but Folz takes her to the mat with a drop toe hold. Folz gets a good strong kick to the ribs in, and Fire immediately rolls out of the ring and sinks to her knees grabbing her ribs in pain. The referee slides out of the ring to check on her to make sure she can continue, and naturally she can. The referee goes back into the ring and starts the ten count, but Folz leaves the ring after three and grabs Fire, but she was biding her time. She grabs Folz and falls backward, sending him slingshotting into the steel ring post. Fire rolls back into the ring where she is admonished by the referee. He appears to be about to give her a warning and Fire argues that she didn’t actually use the ring post, he merely fell into it because he is a clumsy oaf. Fire seems to win this one and the referee goes back to the ten count for Folz.
Folz is up at seven and back into the ring by nine, but the ring post has left its mark in a nasty gash on Folz’s forehead that has blood running down his face. Fire pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the jaw with an elbow and covers, but Folz manages to roll his shoulder at two. Fire waits for Folz to get to his hands and knees then delivers a running knee to the side of the head that stuns the champion. Fire covers but once again Folz rolls his shoulder at two. Fire grabs a stunned Folz’s leg and pulls him to the middle of the ring and stomps away at his ankle, then lays it on the mat and bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across it. Fire grabs Folz’s leg and twists his foot, not exactly an ankle lock, but something pretty close to it. Folz howls in pain as Fire snarls and wrenches his foot even harder. The referee asks Folz if he wants to quit but the champion will not surrender.
Fire drops an elbow across the inside of Folz’s leg then grapevines the leg, still twisting on his ankle. Folz reaches out and grabs Fire and hammers her with forearms to the chest, finally getting her to break the hold. Fire gets to her feet and waits for Folz to get to his, then hits a very low dropkick to his ankle sending the champ right back to the mat. Without thinking, Fire springs off the middle ropes and hits a moonsault on Folz, but she can’t follow up because she grabs her ribs and curls up in a fetal position gasping for breath. Folz manages to struggle to his feet and wipe the blood from his eyes. As Fire slowly gets to her feet, Folz grabs her and drops her across his knee ribs first and covers, but Fire gets her foot on the bottom rope just before the three count.
Firewoman has used her first rope breakFolz smirks and pulls Fire to the middle of the ring and traps her in a sitting abdominal stretch, grinding his elbow into her ribs and now and then grinding his forearm across her face. Fire grits her teeth with determination and slowly works to her feet and breaks the hold with a hip toss, but immediately falls to her knees. Folz gets to his feet first and lines Fire up for another kick to the ribs, but she moves out of the way and trips Folz to the mat and immediately grabs him and locks him in an ankle lock! Folz grimaces in pain and the referee asks him if he wants to quit but he refuses. Fire drops to the mat and traps Folz in the body scissors to go along with the ankle lock, but Folz still won’t quit. Fire holds on like a bulldog threatening to snap his ankle, finally Folz has no choice and he inches his way to the ropes, finally reaching out and grabbing the bottom rope to force the break.
Matt Folz has used his first rope breakFire refuses to break the hold by five and gets her first warning from the referee before finally breaking it. Folz rolls under the ropes to the outside and gingerly tries to walk it off, but Fire steps out of the ring and grabs him and rolls him back into the ring and pulls him to the corner, then slams his ankle into the ring post, drawing another warning from the referee, her second in the span of thirty seconds. Fire slides back into the ring as Folz grabs his ankle and pulls him to the middle of the ring and covers, but Folz rolls his shoulder at two. Fire pulls Folz to his feet and looks for a spinning elbow to the temple, but Folz ducks and catches her with a belly to back suplex that folds Fire in half and drops her on her ribs. Both competitors remain on the mat and the referee starts the standing ten count as we are told two minutes remain in this match.
Both are up before the ten count, and Fire grabs Folz and sends him to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Folz ducks and bounds off the ropes and catches Fire with a knee to the gut as she turns around. Fire doubles over in pain and Folz scoops her up and ties her in the tree of woe, gets a running start and BURIES a knee to her ribs. Fire falls off the turnbuckle grabbing her ribs, gasping for breath, and coughing up a little blood. Folz covers, but Fire manages to roll her shoulder before the three count. Folz pulls her to her feet and traps her arms and slams her in the face several times with a head butt, then grabs her and throws her over his shoulder with a release belly to belly suplex. Fire gets to her feet and Folz charges and clotheslines her over the top rope to the floor, but Fire holds on to Folz and pulls him over the top too. Both land hard, both are slow to get up, and when they do, the referee has already got to eight. Fire tries to quickly get back into the ring, but Folz catches her and pulls her back to the outside and the two of them trade punches while the referee gets to ten.
WINNER – Double Count out in 14:14
As they brawl, kz come to the ring and attack Folz from behind, and the trio from The Five get the momentary upper hand, until the rest of TEaM run to ringside. The six of them brawl around the ring before security once again makes it out there to separate them before someone dies. TEaM is escorted to the back, Folz holding up his Onslaught championship and kz holding Fire back from attacking him again. After they are safely to the back, Fire bumps knuckles with LD and Moose, but is clearly pissed off about a missed opportunity and heads to the back. Kz rolls into the ring with their titles and waits for The Midnight Sons to be announced and come to ringside.
KZ vs. THE MIDNIGHT SONS – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchThe Sons are announced and come out through the crowd. About halfway down they leave the crowd and hop onto the ramp, seemingly expecting an attack from kz. For a change though, kz does not leave the ring. Instead both LD and Moose smirk and lay their titles on the mat and motion for Spin and DH to come get some. The Sons looks a little suspicious at first, then make their way to the ring and step between the ropes. DH goes nose to nose with LD Williams and Spin goes nose to nose with Moose. The four men stand there for a moment and not a word is said, then suddenly, as if a switch was flipped, the four men start throwing haymakers.
LD grabs Magnusson and throws him into one corner and follows him in with a flying forearm to the face, while Spin blocks a punch from Moose and catches him with a kick to the gut that doubles him over, then DDT’s him on one of the title belts kz laid on the mat. Moose is out and rolls to a corner while Williams is on the second rope hammering away on Magnusson. Spin comes up behind Williams and lifts him for a belly to back suplex, and Magnusson climbs to the second rope and leaps and drops a clothesline down across LD’s chest causing him to do a 180 off of Spin’s shoulder and crash to the mat. DH steps out of the ring and Spin covers, but Moose has recovered enough to fly in and break up the count at two. The referee escorts Moose out of the ring and Spin pulls LD to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and LD stands him up with a kick, then drives him to the mat with a neck breaker. LD drags a stunned Spin to the kz corner and tags in Moose.
Moose climbs to the middle rope and leaps, driving an elbow into Spin’s ribs, then grabs the back of Spin’s head and hammers him with rights until the referee threatens disqualification. Moose snaps at the referee and pulls Spin to his feet and pulls him to the ropes and chokes him on the top rope until the referee again threatens disqualification. Moose snaps again and threatens the ref with a punch. Spin gasps for breath and Moose runs him eyes first down the top rope, then slams his face into the turnbuckle. Spin staggers away and Moose catches him with a high knee to the back that sends him into the kz corner. Moose charges in with a clothesline and tags in LD, then snap mares Spin to the middle of the ring, LD comes in and connects with a kick to the back of Spin’s head, then covers, but DH makes it into the ring to break it up at two.
LD keeps Spin on the mat and tries to trap him in a Fujuwara arm bar, but Spin blocks the hold and fights Williams off. Spin slowly works to one knee, then his feet as LD wrings his arm and snaps it, sending him back to one knee. LD connects with a kick to the face that sends Spin to the mat then traps his arm in a figure four arm bar trying for a submission. Spin, cheered on by the crowd, slowly works to his feet and shows off his amazing strength by picking LD up off the mat and SLAMMING him back down. The back of LD’s head bounces off the mat and his eyes roll into the back of his head. Spin staggers toward his corner, but LD manages to spin around and take Spin down with a drop toe hold. The crowd howls their disapproval and DH looks like he is about to explode on the apron he is so eager to get into the match.
LD keeps hold of Spin’s leg and tries to pull him to the middle of the ring, but Spin unleashes a barrage of kicks with his free leg, the last one catching LD flush on the jaw, sending him staggering back toward his corner. LD makes the tag to Moose, and Moose charges into the ring and is just about to get to Spin, when Spin dives to his corner and tags in DH Magnusson. The crowd explodes as DH comes into the ring and blocks a punch from Moose and drops him to the mat by slamming him between the eyes with a head butt. LD is on his feet by the ropes and Magnusson charges and clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. DH turns his attention back to Moose, and as Moose stands up, DH grabs him in a full nelson, then turns that into a choke slam! Moose slams into the mat and DH falls on him for the pin, but Moose kicks out at two.
Magnusson pulls Moose to his feet and bounds off the ropes and nearly decapitates him with a spinning clothesline. Magnusson covers, but LD reaches in from the outside and pulls Magnusson off of Moose, and out of the ring. LD slams DH’s head into the Taiwanese Announce Table, then drives him back first into the apron before rolling him back into the ring. Moose immediately pounces and covers, but Spin comes in and breaks it up at two. While the referee is getting Spin out of the ring, Moose pulls Magnusson up and hangs him on the ropes lifting his legs for more leverage while LD hops onto the apron and pulls down on his head. Spin is livid and tries to get the referee to turn around and see what is going on, but the referee insists on Spin leaving the ring first. Finally Spin does and the referee turns around and sees the double team and starts the five count. Kz breaks before the disqualification, but the damage has already been done.
Moose tags in LD Williams and Williams comes in and grabs Magnusson for a CANADIAN DESTROYER but Spin is back in and nails LD from behind breaking up the move. Moose grabs one of the tag team titles from ringside and slips into the ring and waits for Spin to turn around, then charges, but Spin catches him with a thunderous spine buster sending the title sliding across the mat. Meanwhile LD tries to lift Magnusson for a suplex, but DH slips out of it and shoves LD to the ropes and catches him in the DREAM STREET! LD is struggling to escape, but Magnusson has the move on tight. Moose comes back into the ring, but Spin grabs the title and BLASTS Moose upside the head with it! The referee just happened to turn his attention away from DH and LD long enough to see it, and he immediately calls for the bell!
WINNERS in 15:58 by disqualification – kz
Magnusson breaks the hold, and Spin is beside himself arguing that Moose wasn’t even the legal man! LD and Moose grab their titles and hold them up as they back up the ramp, Moose holding his head and grinning a sadistic grin. Inside the ring, The Midnight Sons seethe with rage and the fans are nearly in riot mode.
STANK vs. DAVIN MORELAND – OOWF Intercontinental Title Finishers MatchThis already hot Doomy Doomy Doom Doom crowd is just buzzing waiting for this one. “Toxicity” fires up and the challenger, Davin Moreland (joined by Samantha Darling-Moreland) makes his way down the ramp. He stops halfway down to soak up the cheers from the crowd. Samantha appears to be wearing some sort of backpack. Davin does his double-jump of impressive athleticism into the ring, and does the 4-corner pose thing. “Skin” fires up, and the OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Stank, makes his way down the ramp to a vicious chorus of boos. He seems to be carrying some sort of pamphlet. He climbs in the ring, and before handing his belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower, he hands him the pamphlet. It appears the title is “The Public Option and You”. Davis folds it up and puts in his pocket before taking Stank's belt. He holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
You can only win this match by hitting your finisher. The finishers selected before the match were the Stank-U (by Stank) and the REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER (by Davin). Stank Pearl Harbors Davin before the bell, and tosses him into the corner. Stank does some pretty standard punching at first, followed by some Chop-WHOOs. He folds Davin in half with a shoulder block, and then blasts him in the face with a straight kick as Davin's doubled over. He gets the wobbly Davin up on his shoulders...he's got him up for a STANK-U...and Davin reverses with a sick TOR-NA-DO DDT. Hightower starts the double count for the two men.
He gets to 4 before both men get to their feet. Stank tries to rush Davin again, but as Stank tries a Clothesline, Davin hooks his arm. Davin works THAT into a Full-Nelson before hitting a Dragon Suplex. That was fun. Davin's up for some stomping it appears, as he Ortons it up for a second before quickly locking on a SHARPSHOOTER! Davin wrenches back hard on the hold and Stank's in trouble. It actually looks like he's trying to tap out for a minute before he realizes that that wouldn't matter. He is eventually able to grab a rope and get a break. Davin fakes like he's giving a clean break before whipping back around and just outright stomping on Stank's knee until Hightower pushes Davin away.
The crowd cheers as Davin raises his arms and plays to the crowd. This doesn't last too long, because Stank is able to limp over and lock on the SOUTHERN COMFORT! Davin has nowhere to go as Stank powers Davin to the mat. Davin actually starts tapping out after a couple of minutes, but again, that doesn't matter, and Stank just starts blasting Davin in the head with elbows until it appears he's unconscious. The crowd is booing for Hightower to do something, but, I mean, what's he gonna do? Then the “DA-VIN” chant fires up and Stank is, understandably, annoyed. He breaks the hold and starts saying mean things to the crowd.
Davin's dead, so this really doesn't matter much, although the camera quickly cuts to Samantha opening her backpack and pulling out a white box. Stank turns around to where the corpse of Davin lies and smirks to himself. In an impressive show of strength, Stank picks Davin up clean from the mat and in one motion MURDERS Davin with a STANKBOMB! Stank looks really confident and makes the “V” sign with his fingers, complete with more boos. Stank tosses Davin like a rag doll into the corner. Davin slumps awkwardly. Stank runs all the way across the ring, and charges at Davin at top speed before damaging some internal organs with a full-on SPEAR! Davin is probably dead and could use some medical attention. Stank is in complete control as he puts Davin on the top turnbuckle. Stank hits the easiest SUPERPLEX in recorded history.
Davin really looks like he's in bad shape and is in no position to fight back, and Hightower is trying to tell Stank as much. Apparently, Stank's into punishment this evening (calm down, Fire) however, and isn't interested in what Hightower has to say. Stank grabs Davin and hits a sick SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER which quite literally may have broken Davin's neck. Stank pulls Davin up by his throat, and obliterates him with a CHOKE SLAM. Stank is outwardly laughing his ass off now, even he is surprised by how easy this has been. Stank pulls Davin up again before hitting a REASONABLE FACSIMILE OF A DIAMOND CUTTER, drawing boos and trash being thrown from the crowd. They're displeased with the disrespect being shown, and, clearly, Stank thinks they can go fuck themselves, and says as much.
Finally, Stank gestures that this one is all over. He pulls Davin's remains onto his shoulder, and it's STANK-U time! He gets Davin up and...gets drilled in the face with some yellow object. It hit Stank directly in the nose. Shocked, Stank drops Davin as he is drilled again with another yellow object that hits Stank in the eye. The camera cuts to Samantha, and she's holding a box of Twinkies! Stank finds one of the offending Twinkies, and shows it, angrily, to Hightower. Meanwhile, Samantha rushes around the ring, grabs a Steel Chair, and slides it to the unconscious Davin. Taking a big chance here. Samantha, really busy all of a sudden, hops on the apron and blatantly starts heaving Twinkies at Stank. They both turn around while Samantha keeps screaming “Eat 'em up, Fattie!” Stank replies “I'm just big boned, bitch. Wanna see how big?” He makes a lewd gesture to Ms. Darling-Moreland as Hightower jumps in front of him and goes over to scold Samantha on the apron.
As Samantha gets her lecture, Stank does some posing, some taunting and heads back toward Davin. He turns just in time to see Davin SLAM the Steel Chair into the mat and TOSS THE CHAIR TO STANK! Hightower immediately turns around and sees Stank holding the chair! He calls for the bell!
WINNER in 22:16 by DISQUALIFICATION...Davin Moreland! Stank retains the OOWF Intercontinental Championship.
Stank and Hightower get into a heated debate, and Stank menacingly gestures with the chair at Hightower. He points at the OOWF logo, etc. Stank tosses the chair away and continues his tirade on Hightower as Hightower backpedals as the big guy is PISSED. Suddenly, as the camera is focused on the argument, Stank falls to the mat like a sack of potatoes. We pull back to see Davin holding the chair, which now has a big dent in it. Davin signals to Samantha and she tosses 2 Twinkies at him. Davin catches them, and smooshes one all over Stank's face and shoves the other in his mouth. Just then, the rest of the V who are able make their way down the ramp. Davin and Samantha hurry through the crowd to safety.
POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – Non-Title Sadistic Madness MatchAlexander Darling is announced and he and Alexis come to the top of the ramp complete with their normal fanfare. The crowd is solidly behind Darling, which seems to catch him off guard a bit. Nevertheless he makes his way to the ring and steps between the ropes and waits in the corner, seemingly lost deep in concentration as Alexis Darling takes her spot at ringside. The OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe is announced and he comes up from the ramp below the stage with Selena by his side, the OOWF world heavyweight title around his waist, and a black, blood-soaked towel over his head. Poe and Selena make their way to the ring and Poe holds the ropes for Selena and she steps into the ring, then takes the world title from around Poe’s waist and skips around the ring with it, pausing in front of both Alex and Alexis and sticking her tongue out at them. Alex doesn’t even notice, Alexis seethes but does nothing. The referee takes the title and holds it high in the middle of the ring, and Selena exits. The ref calls for the bell and we are underway.
The rules of this match are simple; the only way to win the match is if your opponent is bleeding. Pin falls and submissions will only count if your opponent is bloody. With that Poe moves to the middle of the ring and stands there staring at Darling with an icy cold stare of death. Alexander Darling slowly moves to the middle of the ring and he stares at Poe, then before Poe can do anything, Darling punches him in the mouth! Poe’s head snaps back, and when we look again, a small trickle of blood is running down the corner of Poe’s mouth. Poe snarls and lunges at Darling, but Alex slips behind Poe and lifts him in the air and takes him to the mat, then grabs a side head lock and hammers Poe with punches to the face. Poe gets to his feet and shoves Darling to the ropes and follows him and nails Darling with an elbow to the face, sending him between the ropes and to the floor. Poe follows him to the outside.
On the outside Poe pulls Darling to his feet and is about to slam him into the Transylvanian Announce table but Darling blocks it, grabs one of the monitors and SLAMS it upside Poe’s head! Poe goes down in a heap on the floor. Darling takes the monitor and brings the glass down on the top of Poe’s head. Poe remains motionless and we see blood pouring from several cuts on the top of his head. Darling stands over him and smirks, clearly proud of the work he has done. He pulls a dazed Poe to his feet, but does not roll him into the ring, opting to do more damage instead. Since this is a Sadistic Madness match, there are no count outs or disqualifications, so Darling is free to do whatever he wants. Alex grabs Poe and rolls him onto the Transylvanian Announce table, then grabs a chair and heads to the top rope. Once there Darling leaps and tries a flying chair-assisted elbow, but Poe moves out of the way and Darling crashes through the table. The crowd pops with an appropriate HOLY SHIT chant.
Poe grabs the chair from Darling and yells for him to get to his feet. Alexander Darling slowly stands up and Poe swings for the fences and BLASTS him across the face with the chair! Darling slowly slumps to the floor and Poe stands over him and brings the chair down across his back repeatedly, then puts the chair across the back of his head and drops a leg across it, smashing his face into the floor. Poe pulls Darling up and we see blood pouring from what is clearly a broken nose. Poe whips Darling into the ring steps and Darling hits shoulder and head first and doesn’t move. Poe charges and tries to finish him with a boot to the face, but Darling falls all the way to the floor, either voluntarily or involuntarily and Poe kicks the steps, then falls to the floor grabbing his oft injured ankle.
With both men on the floor, the crowd starts to cheer for Alexander Darling to get to his feet and punish the champion. Darling slowly gets to his feet and spits up a nasty mouthful of blood, then grabs Poe and slowly pulls him to his feet and rolls him under the bottom rope into the ring. Alexander climbs to the second rope and leaps, dropping an elbow across Poe’s throat. He covers, but Poe kicks out at two. Darling pulls Poe to his feet and puts him in a hammerlock, then sends him shoulder first into the steel ring post. Poe falls to the mat grimacing in pain, and Darling runs across the ring and connects with a kick to the back of the head that sends Poe to the floor once again.
Darling stalks Poe on the outside as Poe crawls to where Darling slammed the monitor down on the top of his head. Darling grabs Poe and starts to pull him to his feet, but Poe picks up a piece of the broken glass and slashes at Darling, Alex staggers away and we see a nasty gash that goes across his chest. Blood begins to trickle from the cut, then Poe gets to his feet with a handful of glass in his fist, and punches Darling repeatedly backing him against a ring post. Poe keeps hitting Darling, and each shot brings a new gash and fresh blood flowing down Darling’s face. Just when it looks like Poe is going to beat Darling to death, Alex connects with a knee to the midsection stopping Poe. Darling then lunges forward and takes Poe to the floor with a clothesline. Both men remain on the floor, horribly bloody and exhausted.
Darling drags himself to the side of the ring and rummages under there and comes out with a chain. He pulls Poe to his feet and rolls him into the ring again and throws the chain in after him, then slowly rolls under the bottom rope himself. Darling loops the chain around Poe’s neck and then pulls the champ to his feet and throws him over the top rope to the floor once again. Darling slowly starts pulling the slack out of the chain until Poe’s feet are no longer on the floor. Poe claws at the chain around his throat and you can see him start to lose his strength. The camera first cuts to Alexis Darling, who looks thrilled, then to Selena who looks horrified. Selena leaps to her feet and races to the back. Alexis has a satisfied look on her face and cheers her brother on. Selena comes back minutes later carrying her pink barbed wire baseball bat. By now Poe has used his last bit of strength to get one leg up on the apron, relieving the pressure on his throat. Selena races around the ring and hands Poe the bat. Inside the ring, Darling drops the chain and runs across the ring to shove Poe off the apron, but Poe swings the bat over his head and catches Darling squarely in the face sending him falling to the mat.
Poe takes a few moments to collect himself, then rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring. He falls across Darling, the referee hits the mat and counts one………two…….thre……NO! Darling somehow manages to roll his shoulder. Poe glares at the referee, then grabs Darling and tries to lock him in an anaconda vice, but Darling blocks the move and frees himself by managing to land several kicks to Poe’s head. Poe crawls to the ropes and slowly pulls himself up, Darling gets to his feet in the middle of the ring. Poe charges and tries a HIEROGLYPH but Darling moves out of the way, spins Poe around and hits a DARLING DRIVER! Alexander covers Poe and gets the one, two, thre…..NO! Now it is Darling’s turn to stare in amazement. The crowd lets out an audible gasp of disappointment when Darling doesn’t get the three count.
Darling struggles to his feet once again and staggers over to the chain lying on the mat. He picks it up and slowly wraps it around his fist and waits for Poe to get to his feet. As Poe stands, Moosehead Jack runs to ringside and hops on the apron, spins Darling around and guillotines him on the top rope! Darling’s head snaps back and he staggers to the middle of the ring, Poe grabs him and hits a CRUCIFIX BOMB! Poe covers and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 37:09 – Poe
The rest of The Five come to ringside and climb into the ring and help the champion to his feet. Poe pulls Alexander Darling to his feet and throws him over the top rope to the floor. The Five stand victorious in the ring as Team TEaM and Drink and Destroy come out to the top of the ramp. Alexis Darling is checking on her brother with a look of concern as EMT’s come to ringside to check on him, we fade to black.
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