OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 04/27/05

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (04/27) Lineup

Johnny Adrenaline vs. Mark Vander - OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG vs. Brad Smoley & Smark
Donovan Viper & The Devil's Brigade vs. UnderDawg, Canadian Dragon & Microplay
LD Williams vs. Attitude Adjuster
Hellion & Corax vs. 3Piece Set - OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Beast vs. Niles Anderson
Chris Alt vs. Blade
Seraph vs. JW Westgaard vs. Thim Reynolds
GimmickMan vs. Uncle Entity
Blackdragon vs. Mercury
Semaj B vs. Firechild
Revolution XX vs. Endo & Morte
Outback Jack & GatorBait vs. FF Capslock & Stank
Capellan vs. TBD


card subject change from premonitions and out of body experiences

[mooseheadjack]

Outside The Rick's Office 3Piece Set is reading the list of matches for Mayhem.

Ax: You've got to be kidding me!!! Hellion & Corax AGAIN!!

Cole: They didn't even win their match last night. Why do they deserve ANOTHER title shot?

Ax: The must have done some "favors" for Rick or have some unfavorable photos of the guy or something.

Cole: Maybe a photo of him with lime in his beer.

Ax: Wouldn't surprise me.

Cole: Being out of action for a month means that we have a longer then usual list of people that are owed a severe ass beating from the Champs.

Ax: That bastard Firechild still needs one.

CC: Can't forget Outback Jack & Gatorbait for spoiling our international exhibition with Los Jobberos.

Ax: Revolution XX won the tourament whcih means they are due a beating.

CC: Moosehead and Concrete are the newest tag team on the block and they keep running their mouths about how easy it will be to dominate the tag division. I say bullsh*t on that. We should welcome them to the tag team neighborhood sooner rather then later.

Ax: And I realy want to pound Smoley & Smark they piss me off.

CC: Really? You have a problem with them?

Ax: Nah, but it is always fun to beat their asses.

CC: True enough. All these guys will get theirs soon.

Ax: For now I think we have something else to do. We have a lockerrrom full of groupies that are fighting over who gets to wash us down in the shower. We see a quick bikini pillow fight and to the winner go the spoils.

CC: It's great to be back.

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG pokes his head in the AYUFF locker room)

CTG: (dejected) hi guys....

Beast: (growl)

BD&SD: .......

Semaj: (shakes head sadly)

AA: (doesn't say anything, much less turn around)

(CTG sighs before walking into the next locker room, where Moose has already arrived)

Moose: ..... no warm welcome for your new tag team partner?

CTG: You really like taking the fun out of my work, you know that?

Moose: (mock-innocent) me? I'd do no such thing. You see, Concrete, you need to refocus. Don't think of this as a chore. I, myself, am looking forward to this venture. We can take over the entire OOWF starting with the tag division.

CTG: I know you better than that. You'd rather start at the top and work your way back to the basement you are normally from.

Moose: Perhaps. But I've learned that sometimes the greatest rivals make the best partners. We both know each other's styles, and we can complement each other in the ring.

CTG: .......

Moose: You know I'm right.

CTG: well, if we're going to work together, I think we need to at least LOOK like a team. (opens his duffel and pulls out two pairs of tights, one pair of red tights with multicolored random streaks (think Eddie Van Halen's guitar, just with colors instead of white) and a pair of black tights riddled with color)

Moose: I'm not wearing those.

CTG: we ARE a tag team..... and I have a pair of purple ones in here someplace (starts rummaging through his duffel bag, tossing out brightly colored t-shirts, socks, boots, thongs, baseball caps, one set of feather boas and some bicep straps)

Moose: (grumbles) fine, give me the black tights......

CTG: (grins and hands them over)

Moose: (grumbles)

CTG: oh yeah, we need to brighten up your promos.... I bought you some 100 watt bulbs... there's a green one in here too.... (rummage)

Moose: (groans)

CTG: (Looks up from the rummaging) waitaminute, we get Smoley and smark! I know EXACTLY what can take those two out..... (starts rummaging again)

Moose: ? You have chairs and sledgehammers in there?

CTG: Better... (rummages, then pulls out two gawdy costumes) Viola~!!

Moose: ...... you have got to be #%^&ing kidding me

CTG: o,o I'm not kidding, what better to beat those goofballs than with these costumes? We'll be superheroes destroying the evil Smark and his toady Smoley! Can't you see it...?

HURRI-CRETE and MOOSEY!


Moose: ................................ This costume makes me look like some kinda Denver Broncos Float.

CTG: (puts on the mask) This'll be awesome ^_^

Moose: ..................................................

[mooseheadjack]

(Jack and Concrete continue their discussion)

MHJ: Look Concrete, you can call the team whatever you want, but I am not dressing up like some Macy's float.

CTG: But we are supposed to be a team! Huiir-crete and Moosey!

MHJ: Yes I heard you, look, I agreed to the black pants and all, but I an not dressing up like some goofy super hero, forget it.

CTG: But it's ok if I do?

MHJ: Knock yourself out, I don't care. Now, let's talk about the action in the ring. We know each other's styles well, but I'm telling you this, you try that frilly frou-frou stuff with some of these teams, and we will lose. I don't care if you want to be Mr. Superhero, but when that bell rings, its all about the violence.

CTG: Look Jack, I am not happy about this team, I don't like you, and I probably never will, but don't tell me how to wrestle. I have my way of doing things and that is how it will stay.

MHJ: That's all well and good, you may not want to believe this, but if we are on the same page, we will win those tag team titles. And I know what gold means to you, just think, you have thechance to be the first guy in the OOWF to hold two different titles. You gotta like that. Now I gotta go meet the Establishment, make sure you are ready for our match against Smoley and Smark.

CTG: Well when are we gonna hit the gym and work on our moves?

MHJ just glares at CTG and leaves

*************************

Moose walks into the Establishment locker room, Endo & Morte are sitting in one corner discussin strategy and Niles is sitting on the bench looking into the mirror admiring himself, Jack walks in and the room goes silent

MHJ: well, what's going on guys?
Morte: We hould ask you the same thing.
MHJ: What do you mean?
Endo: well why are you teaming with that tool Concrete TG? You keep saying that we were the ones that were going to bring the tag gold tothe Establishment, now you and Concrete are chasing the same titles, what gives?
Morte: yeah, what, suddenly we aren't good enough?
MHJ: Look guys calm down, I know you two are good enough to take the titles, I have no doubts. The way I see it you have a couple of options, you can keep teaming and get the titles first. It'll take Concrete and I awhile to get the title shot. But when we do, I would consider it an honor to wrestle you two for the straps.
Morte: and the other option?
MHJ: Split. I know both of you have the talent to take either of the singles titles, if you choose, you could be the first to bring singles gold to the Establishment <at this Niles suddenly pays attention>
Endo: Or third, we could leave the Establishment and go it alone. <gets right in Moose's face> how bout that?
MHJ: Calm down big man, look, you do what you feel is necessary. I recruited you to the Establishment because I know you are one of the toughest, meanest son of a bitches in the world, so you bet your ass I would rather have you with me than against me, but if you wanna go, it can be arranged.
Niles:<sarcastically clapping> Well done Knute, what a speech.
MHJ: You got a problem Niles?
Niles: No, no problem, actually I should thank you Moose, you told me to get the shot I wanted I had to go out there and take it, so I did, I defeated the hottest prospect in the OOWF, beside me, in Chris Alt to become the #1 contender. WHEN I win the title, looks like I will be the one holding gold in the Establishment.
MHJ: And when that happens, we will all be behind you, I have said all along that you can beat Viper
Niles: yeah, but I am thinkin, when I take the gold, I might just take the Establishment in a whole new direction. I will lead them to glory while you and Concrete are playing buddy buddy.
MHJ: You know Niles, I am getting a little tired of your mouth, you just remember that while you are certainly a great athlete, part of the reason you got where you are is because the Establishment has your back. One hand washes the other. You are talking awful reckless for a man who hasn't won a damn thing yet.
<tense silence between the two>
Niles: hey boss, I am just checkin' ya to make sure you are still one of us, no harm no foul. Now excuse me, I have to go hank the GM for the title shot and prepare.

Niles leaves the room, Jack watches him go and turns and looks at Endo and Morte, all three nod a little and we fade to black

[mooseheadjack]

(Confronts Mercury backstage)

Oh Mercury my Mercury, how is it with you today? Hope all finds you well. Yeah. Hehehehe. Hey listen. You know I have big match coming up against (does the quote thing with his fingers) "The Fed's #2 babyface." Right? Right? Well, see the things is, any assistance you may be able to offer before, during or after my big match will be rewarded. You know. The favor, will be returned at your discretion. And if you don't help then, what will happen to Gimmickman (makes a brainbuster motion) could happen to you.

(Smiles and leaves Mercury alone in the hallway.)

[mooseheadjack]

BD and SD are off in the corner of the locker room.

BD: So how long you think you'll be out?

SD: Why do you care? You're the one who did this to me.

BD: Don't even step to me with that nonsense. You're the stubborn one who wouldn't tap out.

SD: Whatever. (Gets up on his crutches) Good luck with your singles career, sensei Dragon.

BD: (watching as his student pushes past Moose) Good God, that does make Moose look like a float.

[mooseheadjack]

The OOWF has officially granted Brad Smoley a full release from his contract. The OOWF wishes him all the best in his future endeavors.

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG sees the notice on the bulletin board and points it out to Moose)

CTG: Maybe you're right.... as a team we're gonna scare the tag division pretty bad

Moose: ...... I think it's your costume.

CTG: (grins and FLEXES) Ta-da~~!!

Moose: (grumble)

[mooseheadjack]

[Johnny Adrenaline is backstage practicing his golf swing in the locker room when L.D. Williams walks in.]

JA: What's goin' on, man?

LDW: Nothing much, Johnny.

JA: Man, they're trying to make it seem like we have issues between us again. One of the reporter girls pulled a stunt on me like they usually do with you.

LDW: Ignore them. We know that everything's just fine.

JA: I'll say this, it will ALWAYS be fine just so long as this Intercontinental Title is around my waist. Mark Vander better recognize that right now. He's not gonna take this title tonight, or any other night. Attitude Adjuster couldn't take this title. Beast couldn't take this title. NOBODY can take this title from me. Isn't it obvious?

LDW: I guess not. I guess you just need to go out there and prove yourself again. That's all it's gonna take to shut some people up around here.

JA: Then I guess I'll just have to beat Vander's ass like I've done before. L.D., do me a favor tonight: kick the crap out Attitude Adjuster. I can't stand that son of a bitch.

LDW: I can't either, Johnny. I can't stand a lot of people around here.

[L.D. walks off and Johnny continues his golf swings.]

[mooseheadjack]

Sexy Female Journalist # 47b catches up with L.D. Williams as he leaves the locker room:

SFJ: “L.D., I want to ask you about what happened at Blood on the Walls.”

LD: “What a surprise.”

SFJ: “You helped out Johnny Adrenaline in his match, but in your match with Semaj B., Johnny was nowhere to be found. Your thoughts?”

LD: “What makes you think I was helping Johnny?”

SFJ: “Well, you attacked Attitude Adjuster…”

LD: “Who cost me my match earlier that night. I had Johnny’s back at Blood on the Walls. Just like I always do. Bottom line though, I would have destroyed AA no matter who his opponent was. Well, if it was Firechild, I might have waited until after the match, but whatever.”

SFJ: “You’ve had issues with AA in the past, but I thought they were settled.”

LD: “The thing about a guy like AA is that he’s not bright enough to realize when he’s out classed. It doesn’t matter how many times I kick his tail, he’ll just keep coming back for more. Which isn’t entirely a bad thing. At least I won’t get bored.”

SFJ: “What about Semaj.”

LD: “Much as I hate to say it, Semaj is one heck of a wrestler. He didn’t need AA to get involved in our match. Fact is, if Semaj worried a little less about Concrete TG and the fans, and a little more about himself, he…or actually we…could own the OOWF.”

SFJ: “Are you saying…”

LD: “I’m not saying anything. Semaj is aligned with Concrete and that’s that. I said I’d take Semaj out, and that’s what I’m going to do. AA is just a temporary diversion.”

SFJ: “What about the fact that you are now ranked the number one contender to Johnny Adrenaline’s Intercontinental Title?”

LD: “As long as he hangs onto that belt, Johnny has nothing to worry about.”

Williams turns and walks away, leaving Sexy Female Journalist # 47b looking perplexed (well, more perplexed than usual.)

[mooseheadjack]

I've called into this interview area this pretty young woman because I have a message to deliver to the OOWF. Honey, what's your name?

SFJ #29: Ummm, we don't have names. I'm SFJ #29!

AA: Kinda like borgs, huh? Man, that Star Wars stuff freaks me out.

SFJ: Actually, the borgs were on Star Trek.

AA: Whatever! Who's conducting this interview anyway?

SFJ: I am?

AA stands in silence for a second, not sure what to do.

AA: Look, I have three thing to discuss, so we're going old school. You just stand there and keep waving the mic in front of me.

First, LD Williams. What is your problem, son? Why do you insist on sticking your nose in my business with Johnny Adrenaline? Johnny and I have our thing going, I nearly have him beat--again!--and you come running in to help him. What's your problem? I thought I took you out at Blood on the Walls, but NOOOO!!!! Fine, I've learned. Before I can beat Adrenaline, I have to rid the arena of you. I start this week. You, me, Midweek Mayhem. LD Williams can't save you this week...

(SFJ stares at AA, trying to figure out what that means. AA stares back.)

AA: What? You think you're the only smart one out here? Now then, secondly, Concrete TG, you're already getting way too chummy with Mooseheadjack. You never offered me any brightly colored costumes. Well, there was that one night in Las Vegas when the plane got delayed and we ended up in that pay-by-the-hour hotel off the strip and the handcuffs and shaving cream got involved...but I digress.

The bottom line is you're there, we're here and that's not cool. The AYUFF is in shambles. Concrete, you left. The dragons are still fighting with each other. Semaj can't beat anyone without my assistance, someone beat up Beast and who knows about that funky chiropractor. So I've designated myself as leader of the AYUFF, and the first thing I'm doing is revitalizing the troops. There's a lot of new talent in the OOWF that could use my guidance. So right now, I'm telling everyone in the lockerroom, just click that U2U button and you too can become a member of the most elite group in the OOWF.

(AA stares at SFJ.)

AA: What?

SFJ: You said there were three things.

AA: I did. There was LD Williams, the AYUFF issue and, umm, hmmm. Hey, you want to go get a sandwich?

[mooseheadjack]

Semaj IS SITTING~! in the lockerroom watching AA's "interview".

SB: Capps, you think that the As-Yet-Unnamed-Face-Faction is just a name, but whot you don't understand is that to be the original AYUFF means that you need to 'ave integrity, you need to 'ave 'onor, and you need to 'ave friends. You 'ave none of those. Concrete my be bound to Moose'ead Jack, but 'e'll always be AYUFF! The Dragons may have taken each other to the limits, but they'll always be AYUFF! Beast may be beaten, but 'e'll always be AYUFF. Thim is not in AYUFF, but 'e's more AYUFF than you ever were.

Capps if you ever get involved in one of my matches again, win or lose I will take your 'ead off. L.D. Williams is a tough competitor, 'e took me to the limits of my ability. 'e might be a mercenary for a sad, pathetic, coward and 'e might be mates with another sad, pathetic, coward, but this week at MidWeek May'em I'm 'oping that 'e gives you whot you've got coming and Beast will be watching right next to me.

[mooseheadjack]

MRC is bieng interviewed! by Sexy Female Journalist #36.

SFJ#36 - Mercury, how do you feel after losing for the first time at Blood on the Walls.
MRC - Who says I lost. I was the one who walked out of the ring, while Thim got some Lead Poisaning. But I dont care about him. Next question. Hizzore.
SFJ#36 - How do you feel about Uncle Entitys proposition of help against Gimmickman?
MRC - Let me just say that I will be in UE's corner during his match. I dont know why UE's rising so fast, but its amazing. We were a team, unstoppable. but hey, life goes on. Some people get the easy breaks, some fight for them.
SFJ#36 - What exactly was the substance you tried to blind Thim with in your match
?
MRC - Are you stupid? Look at my name, its mercury. Ever hear anyone say "they will feel the mercury"? Get Lost

"After MidWeek Mayhem, anyone caught disrespecting me will feel the mercury and the lead poisaning."

[mooseheadjack]

Sexy Female Journalist #221 finds Capellan backstage, where he is practising back flips off a wall.

"And here we have Capellan, the newest arrival in the OOWF. Tell me, Capellan -- how are you finding America, compared to your home back in Japan?"

Capellan flips to his feet and rubs back his hair with his hand,

"Actually ... I'm from San Francisco."

SFJ#221 looks confused,

"There's a San Francisco in Japan?"

"No. And I'm not Japanese. I'm Chinese-Am -"

"There's a San Francisco in China?"

"Sure, honey. It's a replica the Communist Party built for training agents during the Cold War." Capellan gives her a wink, "But don't tell anyone, OK? It'll be our little secret."

As SFJ#221 hurries off for her next scoop, the OOWF newcomer returns to his backflips: he runs forward, leaps, kicks off the wall, flips and lands on his feet. Runs forward, leaps, kicks off the wall, flips -

- and Mercury walks around the corner.

The two men collide and go sprawling, Capellan rolling to his feet with a chagrined look on his face.

"Sorry, dude." he offers Mercury his hand, "Didn't see you th-"

Mercury slaps the hand away,

"Watch what you're doing, punk!" he climbs to his feet and dusts himself off. "Used to be a man could walk around back here without worrying about half-trained monkeys jumpin' all over them. Rick's really letting the standards go around here."

Capellan folds his arms,

"You know, dude, I said I was sorry. It was an accident, and if you're going to get all bent out of shape about this, that's your problem."

"Oh no." Mercury shakes his head, stepping up and getting in Capellan's face, "Trust me - if I get all bent out of shape about this, it's going to be you who has the problem." Then he spins on his heel and stalks away.

[mooseheadjack]

Harper Camby is walking backstage. He spots Microplay and approaches.

HC: Well, well, well, if it isn't the First Ever OOWF Champion. How are you doing?

MP: I've got nothing to say to you. Instead I'll show you a beating in the ring next week.

HC: Slow down, I'm not looking for a fight. I just want to know what your beef is with Donnie and why you are hanging around with that freak Canadian Dragon all of sudden? He did steal your title. He said you were a disgrace as Champion. If you think about it, he's right. I mean the second you lost the title you stopped running your big mouth. I think your a primadonna punk who couldn't handle not being top dog anymore so you ran off crying in the night saying you lost your smile or some sh*t like that. I'll solve your problem Microplay or Super Machoman or whatever you want to call yourself. After Mayhem you'll be doing exactly what Smoley did after facing the Devil's Brigade. Quitting. Problem Solved.

MP: If you think for one second that I'm comparable to The Biscuit you are in for a big surprise pal.

HC: Maybe, maybe not. We'll see.

Harper walks on down the hall.

*********************************

In another scene Canadian Dragon is stepping out of his locker room and almost runs face into chest with Harper Camby.

HC: Hey little man.

CD: I'm not in the mood for any of your rookie talk. I've got some SFJ to put through tables.

HC: I've noticed. You seem to have a real attitude problem you know. I mean you had to steal the OOWF Title. What kind of loser does that. And then you actually won the title, but how long did that last again?

CD: Did you come here to give me a history lesson?

HC: No I came here to tell you that just because you, Micro, and Underdawg have carried around title doesn't make you guys Champions. Hell Dawg never really was a champ, Micro was a joke you even said so yourself, and your reign hardly even counts. Now Donnie V. He is a champion.

CD: We'll see about that. I haven't seen Viper beat anybody without help yet. And next week I'll show you all in the ring what I'm all about.

HC: You do that. See you in the ring.

Harper walks off down the hall.

[mooseheadjack]

Hellion approaches Corax in the Ministry locker room...


H - Hey Cor, have you seen the new MM lineup? We've got a title shot.

C - Aww Crap! Our rematch clause!

H - Thats right. We are not going to waste it this time though, are we?

C - Wtf are you talking about Hel, of course not.

H - Well I am just saying that we haven't had the best luck lately.

C - Just because we got taken out by those knuckle draggers Backspace and Stink doesn't mean that a match with Pole and Ass will have the same results.

H - I hope not...

C - We just have to make sure we are on the same page. We ARE on the same page right?

H - Yeah sure, of course...

C - Why am I not convinced...

[mooseheadjack]

*Donnie Viper is stretching in his locker room when he hears a knock on the door. He diverts his attention towards it when a look of dissappointment crosses his face.*

DV - Oh, I thought it might've been someone who mattered.

*Camera shifts to reveal Niles Anderson with a bottle of champagne standing at the door.*

Niles - Thought you might want to celebrate with me champ. After all, we're gonna be joint at the hip for the next little while, might as well make the most of it.

*Niles pops the cork on the champagne so that it launches right into Viper's forehead. This catches Viper off guard a bit. Niles chugs a bit of the champagne and then smashes it on the floor and launches at Donnie Viper, pinning him against the ground.*

Niles - I hope you get used to this, cuz I'll be coming out on top in our little match my friend. I don't have to play nice anymore. Who's side do you think Moose is going to be on? The guy he's grudgingly allied with or the guy who could finally bring gold to the Establishment.

*Viper struggles to get up, but Niles exerts more pressure on his shoulders.*

DV - Let me up bitch!

Niles - what, can't handle 100%? Ah, poor baby.

*Niles lets off a bit and give Viper a couple light slaps on the cheek.*

Niles - Cheer up, champ. Savour this moment. It's the moment you officially became a transitional champ.

*Niles gets up and leaves the locker room, laughing maniacally. Donnie Viper gets up and jeers. Fade to black.*

[mooseheadjack]

Stank walks out to the ring. A medley of boos from the crowd accompany him. Stank's head is bandaged with a little blood seeping through.

Stank - FFC is hung-over from last night so he can't be out here with me right now.

Last night I left a bar where my tag team partner and I hashed some things out. There were casualties of course, but when FF Capslock and I go to a bar there always are.

We can never agree on what music plays from the Jukebox.

We never agree on whether the beer tastes great or is less filling.

We never agree on which bar babe looks the hottest.

And FFC always cheats at foosball by lifting the table so I can't score.

By the time we get to the dart board I'm buzzed and FFC is more than a little drunk.

Now every time FFC gets drunk people choose that moment to antagonize us. Like earlier in the bar a moron, not unlike you people in the crowd (boos) walks up to us, we're throwing darts hitting everything, but the board, and this fool has the nerve to ask us what time it is.

FFC looks at him, looks at his watch and tells him it's 3am bitch! Then proceeds to beat the snot out of him.

Then that guy's "buddies" decide they got the guy's back.

So I sit back and watch, laughing my ass off as FFC beats the snot out of them as well.

5 on 1 those guys never had a chance.

Then the bouncers decide to get involved so I join in on the fun and together we beat the snot out of the bouncers and everybody in the joint.

I'm proud to say that we've been banned from 36 bars across 12 states and 1 overseas. Ah good times!

So before everything degenerated down to the inevitable FFC and I decided on 2 things.

Number 1, FFC will never call me "Stinky" again. Crowd chants - STINKY! STINKY! STINKY!

Stank, looking flustered, just waits til the chants die down a bit See what you've started FFC, Dammit!

Crowd chants - STINKY! STINKY! STINKY!

Stank - SHUT UP! (crowd boos)

Stank - Number 2, our partnership is NOT over. You see, Capslock and I may not agree on a lot of things but kicking ass ain't one of them.

That is what we do. And we don't care if you're Moosehead Jack and Concrete, Revolution XX, Gatorbait and Outback Jack OR... 3 Piece WET!

We made a statement in BLOOD last night at Blood on the Walls and we will continue to make that statement until we are HEARD!

If blood isn't loud enough for ya (And apparently it isn't) clean out your damn ears and LISTEN!

Management here is obviously DEAF so don't blame us if we have to turn it up a notch! Nothing less than a tag title shot will appease us! NOTHING!

Feel it! FEAR it!

SMELL IT!

RUN!

Stank throws the mic down. And starts to exit the ring when he is attacked by Gatorbait and Jack! The crowd cheers as Stank is getting beat down 2 on 1. Jack throws Stank to the ropes and clotheslines him to the mat. Gatorbait goes for the CHOMP but Stank is too big. So Bait gets him HOOKED instead. Stank slowly powers out, lifts Gator up for a Stank-U but before he can deliver, Jack runs in kicks Stank in the gut then WAYLAYS him on the head with a steel chair! Jack and Bait powder out and then back up the ramp arms upraised and the Crowd cheering. Last shot is of Stank glaring at Gatorbait and Outback Jack from the mat, blood oozing from his bandaged head.

[mooseheadjack]

*Chris Alt sits in his locker room in front of the TV, a remote in his hand. Sexy Female Journalist #3 comes into the room*

SFJ3: Chris, I--

*CA holds up a hand to silence her and turns up the volume.
<Niles grabs the cage to keep himself from tumbling over, Alt pounds away, he is in a precarious position, Niles steadies himself and jumps POWER BOMBING ALT off the top rope! I guess you CAN power bomb Chris Alt. Niles crawls over to Alt, and collapses with his arm draped across Alt’s chest. The ref counts three, Niles is the #1 contender!>
CA rewinds and presses play again.
<Niles grabs the cage to keep himself from tumbling over, Alt pounds away, he is in a precarious position, Niles steadies himself and jumps POWER BOMBING ALT off the top rope! I guess you CAN power bomb Chris Alt. Niles crawls over to Alt, and collapses with his arm draped across Alt’s chest. The ref counts three, Niles is the #1 contender!>
CA rewinds and watches this one more time, then turns to SFJ3*

CA: Looks like I've got some work to do. Blade, if I'm you, I wouldn't bother showing up tonight. I'm usually a pretty laid-back guy, but I'm in a foul mood and when I'm in a foul mood bad things happen to people. Welcome to prime time, Blade.

*Alt stalks out of his locker room*

[mooseheadjack]

FF Capslock wanders into the arena backstage. He finds a stagehand and approaches him.

FF- Excuse me, could you tell me where to find Fudgepack Jack and Tatermate are, please?

SH- Yeah! I know where...

FF- shhh...shhh, you gotta keep it down, pal.

SH- They're probably in their locker room up that way, you gonna beat 'em up or something?

FF- No, not now anyway. I...uh...I'll get around to it, I'm sure. But I need to get some sleep. Could you just give them this for me?

SH- Sure.

FF Capslock hands the stagehand this note.

:
Dear Outback Jack & Gatorbait

Gosh, fellas, am I ever disappointed it what you did to Stank. It wasn't very nice of you, and darn it all, I'm gonna let you know just how not nice it is...by beating the every-loving bajesus out of you. I've never had a problem with you guys, true we may have cost you an important match, but we just do what we're paid to do, guy. What you're doing is getting mad at the bullet without ever looking at the guy holding the gun. But, hey, now you get to have your own asses handed to you via the two largest man in the OOWF. Way to go. Good guys to pick a fight with. It was a simple buisness transaction, now it's war.

You better notify your next of kin in advance.

You better make sure you aren't leaving any nasty credit card debt behind for your loved ones.

And, oh...lest I forget...

YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR ASS, BUDDY!

Hugs and Kisses,
FF Capslock
for Capslock & Stank
a subsidiary of StankLock, LTD.

[mooseheadjack]

H&C, watching the monitor in the dressing room...


C - Heh, Hey Hell, you see what just happened to him?

H - I've been standing right here the whole time.

C - So...

H - Yes, I saw what just happened to him.

C - Good, stinky little bitch didn't even mention us, and after the beating we laid on them the last time we met.

H - They beat us.

C - Really? Gosh, thanks for clearing that up! I never would have remembered. Whatever would I do without you!?

H - Whatever you say, Sarcasmo.

C - Who's that? Some Lucha wrestler?

H - I'm outta here.

C - No wait!, we should go kick Stinky's stinky ass for forgettig us so quickly. I am not going to let him disrespect us like that.

H - You go ahead, I have other things to do...

[mooseheadjack]

GatorBait has only 3 words before this week:

"Biggest Chomps EVER!"

[mooseheadjack]

[Seraph is stopped along his way back stage by Sexy Female Journalist #221]

SFJ221: Seraph – would you like to comment on your triple-threat match against J.W. Westgaard and Thim Reynolds at Mid-Week Mayhem?

Seraph: hmmph…. [Turns to walk away]

SFJ221: You know you can’t keep avoiding us journalists! How do you ever expect to get pushed if no one knows who you are?

[Seraph stops… thinks to himself…. And mutters under his breath]

Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again. Give portions to seven, yes to eight, for you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.

If clouds are full of water, they pour rain upon the earth. Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where it falls, there will it lie. Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand my purpose, my reason for being.

But let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless. Be happy while you still can, and let your heart give you joy in these next days. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things I will still be here. And I will do to you what I did to Moosehead Jack, and to Endo. Not because I want to – but because I must. That is my purpose, and that is something that you simply cannot understand.

But you will.

[Seraph continues walking away leaving SFJ221 perplexed and creeped out]

[mooseheadjack]

OBJ is sitting on the floor in a in a dark corner (think Raven ECW promo style)

OBJ: Moosehead Jack, just when I thought I was out, you dragged me back in. Violence begetting violence. Warriors roaming the wasteland. Buzzing like flies around the gold.
*stands up*
It's good to be back! I haven't felt this good in years! And I haven't seen Gator look so happy since that "incident". The bluebird of f'n happiness is on my shoulder, and he's going to help me give the 3D to anyone who gets in our way.

SFJ44: I conveniently happen to be standing here. What about your issues with the biggest team in the OOWF?

OBJ: 3 words: biggest Chomp ever!

[mooseheadjack]

Backstage Firechild is WALKING...

(OOC: And taking no notice of the camera crew, because if WWE can do it....SO CAN I!)

...he walks up to the AYUFF locker room, noticing the gaudy purple and black Hurri-cret and Moosie sign on the adjoining locker room with wry amusement and is about to knock on the door when Attitude Adjuster bursts out of the AYUFF room, clearly in a less than good mood....

FC: Hey man, good luck in your match against Williams..

AA: Get bent rookie, I've got bigger issues than you to deal with at the moment.

AA blusters off down the corridor, muttering under his breath, and looks at the Hurri-crete and Moosie sign and rips it off the door, before continuing his collosal tantrum down the hallway.

Firechild looks thoughtful for a second, playfully cracks his knuckles, smiles and pushes open the door of the AYUFF locker room to see a dejected Semaj sitting by himself.

SB: <jumping up> What....

FC: Easy, man. I just came by to say that I'd seen the lineup for Mayhem and see that we are set to square off.

SB: Yeah...

FC: Now, I respect you as a competitor and I'm looking forward to locking up, but I am aware that you have unfinished issues with LD Williams, as well as more than a little.... internal tension within the AYUFF.

SB: That's my problem.

FC: Of course, but I also have issues with Williams, who seems to have taken a dislike to me, quite independently of his rent-boy responsibilities to Moosehead and Adrenaline, which I'm surprised by, not to mention my ongoing ....... disagreement with the 3 Piece Set.

SB: What'cha tryin' to say man?

FC: What I'm saying is that I want a good clean match with you, hell, you've got a win over Williams, which is more than I've got, and I want to be sure that when we tangle, it's the better man who gets the decision....

SB: ....

FC: By that I mean, that if Williams, or the 3PS decide to come and play silly buggers then we see them off, and once they're lying, stewing in their own filth and bodily fluids, or as Williams knows it, his usual Thursday date with Moosie..... <him & Semaj chuckle> we get the ref to restart the match and we finish it between us...like men.

SB: I like the way you think man.

FC: Deal?

SB: I can live with that.

They shake hands, grinning...then Firechild pulls Semaj in and says, quietly.

FC: But don't think I'll drop you any slack, I want my even record back.

SB: I'll pull no punches either, friend.

FC: I wouldn't have it any other way.

They drop hands, and Firechild steps back, smiles and says..

FC: Hey, I'm looking forward to this match, but take a little advise. You'd better watch out for Capps, he seems to be in need of a little.....attitude adjustment. Is that irony, or just plain sad?

He laughs and walks out, bumping into Beast on the way in.

FC: Hey man, how's the shoulder?

Beast just glares at him and pushes past, wincing as he bounces his injured shoulder off of Firechild who ignores the slight and continues into the corridor.

Firechild walks through the maze beneath the arena until he finds a locker room with a broken sign that used to say Minstry of Dawgness on it....

He goes in to find Hellion & Corax sitting looking like they've had a tiff....

FC: Hey guys...

H: What d'you want?

C: Get the hell out rookie!

FC: That's a nice way to treat a friend.

C: You ain't no friend of ours.

FC: You see, thats where you are wrong. Does not Sun Tzu say that the enemy of my enemy is my friend?

H: Huh?

FC: Education boy, it doesnt mean you don't rock.

C: You calling us thick?

FC: <Sighs> No. Now, I've been at odds with the 3 Piece Set ever since I walked into this company, because frankly, they make me sick. They are a disgrace to the OOWF, and more importantly for me, they give rock fans a bad name with their sell out, dick head antics.

No, I always liked your style in the Ministry, perhaps a tad too Cradle of Filth for my taste, but if it's that or their Motley Crue act, I can live with it.

H: So?

FC: What I'm saying is, that I don't like the tag champions, and you have a tag title shot at Mayhem. Now, I'm not saying I'm gonna run in and smash Cole with a Gibson LesPaulZakk Wylde custom edition.......
....sorry, thats one of my happy thoughts. But I am saying that if they try any of their usual funny business, I'll damn well step in and make sure that if they do retain the titles, they do it like champions.

H & C: WE don't need your help.

FC: We'll see, but the offer is there, and don't be so fucking rude to someone who is offering you help. That shit'll get you burned.

Firechild turns and walks out, then heads off to his own locker room, with a smile of his face.