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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:50:09 GMT -5
<We cut to GM the Rick’s office where a courier is standing while GM the Rick is reading a sheet of paper>
GMtR: You sure this is from Eco?
Courier: Yessir, he said that was his team for War Games, wanted me to give it to you since he is………indisposed.
GMtR: Ok then. Not what I would have done, but its his team. Thanks.
<the courier coughs and puts his hand out expecting a tip>
GMtR: Oh, uh………yeah……..um <digs furiously in his pockets and finally comes up with some change> Keep it
Courier: <rolling his eyes sarcastically> Gee thanks mister
***************
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Memphis, Kentucky
2 out of 3 Series to Determine the PERSON Advantage in War Games*
Matt Folz, Alexander Darling & Ecosystem vs. LD Williams, Poe & Firewoman
Tytan & Davin Moreland vs. Moosehead Jack & Stank
Drink & Destroy vs. IHOP
Concrete TG vs. Chris Evans
Ravenna Blue vs. Bryce Larson
*Should there need to be a tiebreaker a random wrester will be chosen from each team to face one another in a singles match
Card subject to the green green grass of home
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:55:16 GMT -5
We are in the Celebrity Wing of the Philadelphia General Hospital (Mississippi), and Lucky is STANDING outside a particular room. The sign on the door says "L. Quinn; J. Quinn." He's on the phone.
L: Well, it's just an aggravation of when Tytan punctured the lung, and she'll be fine in a few days..........yeah, she should take it easy but...............I don't think it's a good idea.....look, last time she didn't want to call back......No no....I don't think it's that she doesn't care.......No, it's the reverse....it's too much.......................It's called reaction formation....I did a post doc in psychotherapy.....look if you had let her know about the thing with Alex...
A hand reaches out and grabs the phone. We see the hand belongs to WWE's own Chris Jericho. He looks at the number, scowls, and puts the phone up to his ear.
Y2J: Someone thinking about a try out with WWE should probably stop making calls to his old place of employment. It's over... now, you want me to put in a good word for you with Vince, you'll follow your partner's advice and move on.
Jericho slams the phone shut, and shoves it back to Lucky. He scowls again, then changes demeanor and enters the room. Moosehead Jack is in one bed, stitched up worse than Frankenstein's monster.
Y2J: You look like hell.
MHJ: Did you fly all the way here just to insult me?
Y2J: No, I came to see...
MHJ: She's out. Pain meds.
Y2J: Oh...
Jericho sits down next to her bed, moves a strand of hair off her forehead. Moose rolls his eyes. He reaches over and grabs a roll of medical tape and throws it so it hits Fire's pillow.
FW: Seriously, Moose. When I get out of this bed...
MHJ: Shut up. One of your boy toys is here to see you.
FW: Tell Wally to cancel my order, I don't think I'm up to it.
Y2J: It's me.
Fire finally opens her eyes, as Jericho tosses a scowl Moose's way.
FW: Oh....
Y2J: I was hoping we could talk...in private.
FW: Yeah, well....
MHJ: Oh no, please...this'll be better than Dr. Phil.
Y2J: Fine. Two things. You need to take it easy. There's no reason you should have been in that match. You're far more talented than a garbage match with garbage wrestlers who--
MHJ: Hey!
FW: It's not about that. It's about getting--
Y2J: Even. I know. But I'm afraid you're going to do permanent damage if you don't take the time to heal. How the hell is OOWF Medical even clearing you?
MHJ: Who knows...you beat up one technician, and then you're marked as being difficult. It's unfair really.
Y2J: This is why I didn't want you teaming with....him.
MHJ: Him has a name....
FW: I'll think about it...
Y2J: Really. You're not just saying that because you're heavily medicated?
FW: Could be.... But...no. I think you're right. What was the second thing?
Looks over at Moose who is grinning.
Y2J: Later. When we get you to the next OOWF Arena. Vince has given me some time off so I can spend some time here, and I'm looking at some new recruits hopefully.
FW: Anyone I know?
Y2J: Nope. Get some rest.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:17:44 GMT -5
(The crowd is ready and waiting at the Memphis Arena, Airport, Sports Bar, and Vetrinarian's Complex for the first segment of Mayhem when a new entrance song starts playing... www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayF1T_CdGroThe crowd starts cheering when they look up at the MammOOthTron and see a new entrance video for Drink & Destroy! Outback Jack, D.H. Magnusson, and Spin Hansen appear at the top of the ramp holding their signature foreign bashing objects. The men make their way to the ring, playing to the crowd. They enter the ring, and Spin starts talking...) SH: HELLO, MEMPHIS! (The crowd goes wild, of course.) SH: How do you like the new music? We figured it was time for a change. DHM: Didn't Beer Baron use that as his theme music? SH: *SHH!* Anyway, who better to hear the new theme than the great people of MEMPHIS! (The crowd keeps on cheering.) Outback Jack: Hey, mate... don't you feel dirty going for a cheap pop like that? SH: Y'know, Jack... I bet that the last guy who walked into Firewoman's locker room asked himself the same thing. (The crowd finds this hilarious and shows as much.) DHM: But that's not why we're out here talkin' to you. We're out here t' talk about one thing... Th' Five. Y'see, we noticed that none of us were in th' big series match t' figure who gets the extra wrestler for War Games. OBJ (belching, of course): Australian for "Travesty". DHM: No. Instead, we're takin' on... IHOP. (The crowd boos.) SH: It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. After all, they ARE the only people around here who haven't said anything about where they stand on The Five. Outback Jack: But we're more than ready to show 'em what we can do... again. SH: And there's no— (Spin gets cut off by The Five rushing into the ring! Stank bellows in rage at Spin and DIVES at Spin with his title belt in front of him, knocking Spin off balance! Firewoman and D.H. start trading blows, and both members of kz lash out at Outback Jack with barbed wire baseball bats! Poe sees Spin at a disadvantage and hits him with a HIEROGLYPH! Spin goes down! Poe turns his attention to D.H. who's fighting bravely against Firewoman and Moosehead Jack at this point... Outback Jack and L.D. Williams are trading punches. Things aren't looking good when "Minority" by Green Day starts playing and Team TEaM rush out! Tytan goes after Firewoman, Eco trips Poe and starts putting the boots to him, and Matt Folz slams MHJ with his own discarded barbed-wire bat! D&D regroup and we have a BRAWL on our hands! Referees and local workers dressed as cops start flooding the arena and breaking up the brawl... D&D and TeAM are pushed in the general direction of the locker room while The Five are held back in the ring as the scene fades...) |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:18:08 GMT -5
<We cut to the Chamber where Selena is fixing some of Moose’s stitches that have come loose after the brawl. Firewoman is sitting in a chair with a look of agony on her face as Jericho looks on anxiously. Stank, Poe and LD Williams are sitting quietly, Lucky is pacing the room angrily> L: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING OUT THERE? How did you even GET out of the hospital already? FW: I <cough> I…….<Fire trails off> L: This is insane, YOU should be in the hospital for WEEKS not hours. And YOU……razor wire? Really? MHJ: Occupational hazard <Lucky is about to go on a continued rant when someone bangs angrily on the door, Lucky opens the door and GM the Rick storms in> GMtR: WHAT. THE. FUCK! Poe: Rick, it was just an attack, pretty routine in wrestling, why are you suddenly so upset about it GMtR: The attack? No, I don’t give a fuck about the attack. All of you can kill one another for all I care. No, this is something FAR worse. Have any of you thought to ask The Quinns how they got out of the hospital? <Fire and Moose shoot each other a look and try to suppress a grin> LD: Come to think of it, no we didn’t GMtR: Well maybe this will jog what’s left of their brains <GM the Rick hits the menu on OOWFtv and comes up with a promo from the hospital> <A doctor is in checking on Moose and Fire while Jericho sits sullenly in a corner.> Doc: Ok, Mr. Quinn, you have received numerous stitches, and after being tangled in that wire, we are going to hold you for a few days for observation to make sure no infections set in. Doc: And Ms. Quinn, your ribs are severely damaged, you could possibly have a punctured lung, and there is the possibility of some internal damage. We have already contacted your employer about your extended stay here FW: Extended stay? Doc: Several weeks is a conservative estimate FW: Don’t think so Doc <the camera pulls back and we see Moose and Fire getting out of their beds, somewhat ghoulishly, and approaching the doctor. The camera cuts back to Jericho, who now has a shocked look on his face as we hear the doctor scream for his life. The camera man pans back around to see Moose and Fire approaching him, then the camera falls to the floor, where we see the doctor lying unconscious with blood trickling from his head. The last thing we see is Moose and Fire walking past the camera and out the door> GMtR: YOU TWO ATTACKED A DOCTOR! MHJ: He had it coming GMtR: HOW? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY JUSTIFY THIS? MHJ: He wanted to take Fire’s temperature GMtR: So? MHJ: Rectally, no one wants to see that, not even Nancy Boy Jericho over there <Fire shoots Moose an evil look and throws something at his head. Moose avoids it and laughs maniacally, Jericho pouts> GMtR: <Staring in disbelief> You two are fucking incredible. I should fire both of you on the spot. But I know you both have lawyers………..I cannot believe you two are forcing me to do this AGAIN! You are both to be confined to this locker room, and ONLY this locker room! If you so much as step foot out of it, you will both be suspended for 90 days! Oh, and you are both docked a weeks pay! FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! <GM the Rick storms out of the Chamber and it is silent for a moment. Then Moose and Fire start laughing maniacally, which hurts Fire’s ribs and pulls more stitches loose on Moose> Stank: Something funny? MHJ: HAHAHAH<ouch> Yeah FW: HAHAH<ow ow ow> Rick thinks he’s punishing us LD: You two are………grounded, how is that not a punishment? MHJ: Look at us, we look like shit. If we were allowed to roam the halls, any of those TEaM idiots, or Drink & Destroy or Davin and Darling could attack and take us out of the War Games match. FW: Rick basically just guaranteed us time to heal <Poe passes out shots to everyone but Selena, they raise their glasses> Poe: To Rick All: TO RICK <The Five down the drinks and sit back laughing> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:18:32 GMT -5
Mayhem
(Tytan is seen after getting the staples pulled out of his head and replaced with some stitches he is pissed and in need of a drink. He heard the news that this week he gets to team with Mr. Davin Moreland as they plan to take out Stank and Moose.)
Tytan: Mr. Moreland, Davin it seems this time we are on the same side. This time it seems like I will finally get the privilege to do battle with you. Moose you piece of crap...you stapled my head. I will give you that one. You got tied up in a little present that was suppose to be for your sister. But something happened we got to see something that we have never seen before. It seems that the beast known as Moosehead Jack shows that he has a heart. That means Jack as also shown that he has a weakness and that he can be beaten once again. Mr. Moreland I plan on bringing my A-game for Mayhem and Stank step in the ring and what I have done to Moose I have no problem doing that to you. So, let's do this and do it the right way. Let's put the OOWF out of the misery that is know as The Five.
(FaDE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:18:53 GMT -5
*The Moreland Room*
Davin Moreland is doing whatever Davin Moreland does to relax, possible options include meth, more meth, and pandering. But that doesn't matter because what does matter is what's going on behind him as Samantha Darling-Moreland is pacing with her cell phone plastered to her ear.
SDM: What do you mean they aren't there? All OOWF wrestlers went to Mercy Hospital after the show.
I don't care that you claim they aren't there. Where else could they be?
Oh you're just no fucking help whatsoever.
Sam tosses her phone across the room and it startles Davin from his recreational activity.
Davin: Is something wrong babe?
Sam looks at Davin like he's lost even more of his mind...
SDM: Are you kidding me? My brother and sister are nowhere to be found...
Davin: Alexander Sisterfucker and Alexis Brotherfucker probably just wanted some alone time.
SDM: You're not fucking serious are you? Now is not the time for the douche act.
Davin: What act?
SDM: Ya know what, never fucking mind. My brother may be dying somewhere. I have no idea what problems my sister may be going through and you're a fucking useless douchebag.
Davin: I don't know why you're so mad at me babe. I wasn't the stupid member of your dysfunctional family and call out someone who wanted to kill me.
SDM: No, you just sit there and make horrible jokes and act like a jackass. Well guess what BABE, I'm tired of it. If Alexis and I were able to put things behind us, then you can grow the fuck up. Be a man. And help me find out where the twins are.
Davin: And if I don't want to help your asshole brother anymore than I already have?
SDM: Then you're even more of an asshole than you act to be. Because when push comes to shove, blood IS thicker than water and I will choose them, Davin. Especially Alex. He helped me through too much for me to leave him hanging now. So get off your ass and help me find them.
Davin doesn't move for a moment and this seems to piss Sam off even more...
Ya know what, fuck you then. I'll go find Spencer and we'll find them. You can stay here and perfect your next douchetastic nickname. Maybe I'll be privileged enough to get one.
Sam storms out of the locker room.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:21:54 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack and Selena are watching OOWF-TV footage of the Five’s beat down on Davin Moreland last week (priceless footage).
MHJ: And there’s where I used your bat, Mouse.
SG: Awesome! Look at him bleed! Take that Davin Suckland!
Poe comes from his room in the back, stops a second to look at Firewoman’s “Do Not Enter” sign, shakes his head and approaches the two of them.
Poe: Goddess, I need to have a word with Moose.
SG: Aww, but we’re watching Davin Suckland getting’ his ass kicked!
MHJ: WE can always watch this when Poe and I are finished talking about whatever this concerns.
Moose eyes Poe, knowing what this is about. Poe moves his head to the side to have Moose join him at the bar. As they do, Steve the Bartender pours them shots of tequila.
StB: Anything else guys?
Poe: Leave us.
StB: I…I can’t. I’m Steve the Bartender. I have to stay here at the bar.
MHJ: Unless you want to become “Steve the ICU Patient” I suggest you find somewhere else to be.
Moose snickers as he downs one of the shots. Steve the Bartender gulps visibly and leaves the bar.
MHJ: So I guess this concerns my sister.
Poe: It does.
MHJ: Say your peace
Poe: I hope you’ll take what have to say as more than just “my peace.”
MHJ: You know I always do.
Poe: To be straight and honest, the way we’ve always been with each other…mostly, she is immature, reckless, petulant, and a danger not only to herself but to all of us and our cause.
MHJ: How do you really feel?
Poe: She needs to be corralled…controlled.
MHJ: Yeah, good luck with that.
Poe stares at Moose, which leads to Moose staring back.
MHJ: You truly expect me to control her?
Poe: She’s your sister.
MHJ: You’re the puppet master, are you not?
Poe: I tried to bring her into my fold once before. The results were…less than pleasant.
MHJ: And you wonder why she’s the way she is.
Poe snickers.
Poe: Seriously Moose, you truly believe that my actions are her only demons? You truly believe that I alone am the way she is? She is a girl who has always been rebellious, always taken what she’s wanted and rarely faced the repercussions of her actions. So much so in fact, that when she does, instead of realizing she brought it on herself, she blames the one punishing her and sets out for vengeance. How she has survived to this day surprises me a bit honestly.
Moose says nothing, gulping down another shot.
Poe: Moose, my dear and longtime friend, because she is your sister…that is the only reason I have yet to act. You started this, the Five. I appreciate, hell, I love your vision and drive. However, I did not want, nor ask her to come here. Her being here is your doing. I will not have her ruin what I have worked hard to build here, nor will I have her actions putting myself or Selena in danger. So, as my long time friend and ally, I give you the benefit of a warning…
Poe leans in close to Moose, who doesn’t look at him.
Poe: …control her, and soon…
Poe snarls slightly.
Poe: …or I will
Poe slams a one of the shots of tequila and leaves the bar, joining Selena on the couch, who immediately jumps on his lap and wraps her arms around his neck. Moose turns to look at them as he slams the last shot of tequila.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:22:31 GMT -5
<Moose slams that shot, then pours another and drinks it slowly. He turns around and hobbles over to Poe> MHJ: Mouse, would you give us another moment <Selena looks at Poe, Poe nods slightly and Selena warily gets up and walks to her room. Poe stands up and looks at Moose> MHJ: I am sure you appreciate the position you put me in. Let me remind you of a few things so the air is clear. One. This is not Japan. We are not your Acolytes. We are a unit, you take the good with the bad. Two. The last time someone tried to reign Fire in, it spelled their doom. Davin tried, Davin failed, and DEA is no more. Three. Like it or not, Fire as she is is an asset to us, not a detriment. The hate you say she harbors, the resentment, that is what fuels her. Reigning her in is not only impossible, it is foolish. <Poe considers this for a moment, then looks at Moose> Poe: If any harm comes to……. MHJ: You know how I feel about that. You know the score around here, and you have done well with it so far. You keep her out of harms way, and it stands to reason that no harm will come to her, doesn’t it? <Poe snarls a bit as he considers this> Poe: And when the harm is in your own house? MHJ: You have the choice. You can choose to bring it on you and yours, or you can sit back and watch it do what it does best – destroy our enemies. <Moose walks back to the bar and sits down and pours a drink. Poe stands there for a moment, then feels a tug on his arm, he turns to see Selena standing there. They go and sit on the couch again, Poe lost in thought> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:23:09 GMT -5
**Tytan rounds a corner in the arena, and a barbed wire bat is buried in his stomach. He doubles over and the bat slams across his back. Tytan hits the floor and immediately rolls over and tries to get up, but the bat is pressed against his throat. L.D. Williams plants a knee in his chest, pinning him down.**
LDW: “Sorry for the added aeration, but I seem to have a problem getting your attention. See, Tytan, I’m kinda like your boss, Eco. I’m pretty easygoing most of the time, but when I set a goal I’m single-minded. I do whatever I have to, to whoever I have to, and I don’t stop until I get what I want – the end justifies the means, and all that. If you keep trying to kill my partners, you’re going to become a goal. And I promise you I am heartless. I will make your battles with Fire and what you think have been wars with Moose seem like a trip to the theme park.”
**Williams looks up at the sound of running footsteps and sees Ecosystem and Matt Folz running towards them.**
LDW: “It’s your move, big man. You have too much potential to throw your career away like this, but it’s your call. Yours. Not Eco’s.”
**Williams disappears around the corner before the rest of Team TeaM reaches Tytan.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:23:47 GMT -5
Poe stalks off after the Moose/Poe staredown. Firewoman and Y2J come out of her locker room.
Y2J: All I'm saying is that not 5 minutes after you promised me you would take it easy, you attacked a hospital doctor and then got involved in a beatdown. Which part of that is taking it easy?
FW: Um...I didn't lead the beatdown?
MHJ: This is going to be good. SELENA! GET THE POPCORN.
SG: Coming Uncle Moose!
Y2J: Do you ever mean anything you say?
FW: Sure....Of course I do....sometimes....I meant it at the time.
Y2J: Unbelievable.
FW: No, ultimatums are unbelievable.
Y2J: Really? From the queen of ultimatums?
Selena comes in with a big bowl of popcorn and hands it to Moose, and climbs onto the sofa next to him.
SG: What's happening?
MHJ: I'm not sure yet. But I think it'll be fun.
FW: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Y2J: Really? You don't recall recent alterations to our ... agreement?
FW: Oh... that. That wasn't...
Y2J: That WAS the result of yet another one of Firewoman's infamous jealous rages that make little to sense since she can't be bothered to... let's not do this here....
MHJ: But we just got our popcorn.
SG: giggles somewhat uncomfortably What's happening?
MHJ: Well, unless I'm mistaken, someone is no longer content to be merely head boy-toy and--
FW: I'm ignoring you, Moose. Chris, we have always had veto say on ... anyone else, and I merely exercised that.
Y2J: Well, I'm exercising mine now. As long as we were talking convenient ports in a storm, I didn't care.
SG: I don't get it uncle Moose...they're going sailing?
MHJ: That remains to be seen.
Y2J: But I don't think I should have to put on a luchadore mask and a cowboy hat to get your attention.
Firewoman glares at Jericho. Moose signals to Selena that it might be best if she go back to her room, and she does, pouting. Firewoman turns and heads back to her locker room, Jericho again following. The door slams. The door reopens and Lucky comes quickly out. The door slams again, and the sound of things breaking can be heard.
L: Damn, your sister has a temper.
MHJ: So... every six months we go through this?
L: More or less...except this is different...usually he doesn't start it.
Moose continues to munch absent-mindedly on his popcorn. After some time, the door opens, and Jericho walks out carrying a little black book and a luchador mask that looks a lot like the one Firewoman wore when she teamed with Phantos and Lucios. Firewoman walks out behind him, but doesn't appear angry at all...eerily enough. Moose looks at her oddly. Jericho hands them to Lucky.
Y2J: These go in the trash. She doesn't need them anymore.
Lucky looks back at Firewoman, who nods.
Y2J: And then, take the trash out. I don't want to see these in the trashcan when I get back.
L: No offense, but I don't work for you.
FW: It's fine, Lucky. Lucky takes them and puts them in the trash. You heard him. Don't let them be in the trash when he gets back.
Lucky nods. Jericho gives Firewoman a kiss on the cheek and then leaves, something about seeing people for FCW. There's a pause...
MHJ: Wow...I am speechless. You actually agreed to--
FW: Shush.
Lucky checks the hallway, goes to the trashcan and retrieves the items from the trash, hands them to Firewoman, and then takes the rest of the trash out.
FW: There.
MHJ: He said he didn't want them--
FW: In the trash when he got back. And so they aren't. So shut up.
MHJ: Technically you are right, but--
FW: Exactly. Now leave me alone.
MHJ: I would love to, but I can't, since we're both grounded.
FW: Speaking of which, I don't need you to stand up for me, in or out of the ring.
MHJ: Huh?
FW: With Poe earlier? I can fight my own battles with him. And in the ring, pushing me out of the way. People might think you care.
MHJ: And that is bad because? You'd prefer a mouthful of razor wire?
FW: I prefer you stay out of my life. It's a bit too little, too late, and I'm not about to sit here and listen to your advice all fucking week.
MHJ: This again?
FW: No...this.
With that, she throws a bottle of Jameson's at Moose's head. He ducks, but in doing so pulls some of the stitches so his face starts to bleed again. This enrages him, so he stands and throws the bowl of popcorn at her. She mostly ducks, but that hurts her ribs, and also the bowl hits her in the head. Lucky comes back from taking the trash out and dodges out of the way as the two siblings meet in the center of the room, each yelling about not wanting to hear it from the other for the next week, that Poe doesn't scare Fire, that Fire needs to settle down. They struggle fairly evenly until Moose goozles her against the wall, and grabs her hands by the wrist with the other hand.
MHJ: Ha! See! I know to make sure your hands aren't free.
Firewoman smiles as Moose looks confused for a moment. Then she brings her knee up to his groin, dropping him instantly.
FW: Forgot about my feet.
MHJ: in a pained voice. No I didn't.
He grabs the leg on her sore ribs side and pulls it out from under her, and she hits the ground. He locks in the Ji-endo for a bit, yelling at Fire to tap, and she, of course, refuses. An OOWF referee appears out of nowhere, and Moose grins. He rolls Fire over, locks the leg, and the referee counts 1...2....3!!!!
Winner and NEW HEAVY METAL IRON MAN DDT CHAMPION....MOOSEHEAD JACK!
The referee hands Moose the belt and beats a hasty retreat. Moose sits back on his heels, holds the belt and laughs. Firewoman gets up slowly, and turns to see Moose gloating.
FW: Oh. It is SO on!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:24:32 GMT -5
Not long after Tytan's attack in the hallway.
The camera fades in on the temporary sign hung on the door reading "Ecosystem". The camera pans out to show Ravenna Blue knocking on the door.
Eco: Not now.
Ravenna knocks again. Some commotion is heard as Eco comes to the door.
Eco: This really isn't...
he opens the door.
Eco: Nice timing. Yet again, you're a little too late if you came here to help.
Ravenna looks at him for a moment, her expression a mixture of frustration and anger.
RB: That is exactly what I came to talk to you about Eco.
Eco: That your words and your actions don't match?
RB: No. That your expectations of me aren't possible given the circumstances.
Eco: ...
She looks into the dressing room behind him.
RB: Am I allowed in, or are we going to discuss this in the hallway?
Eco shrugs and lets her in, the ninja cameraman deftly squirming in before Eco can shut him out.
Ravenna looks at Eco with a calm expression and her words seem carefully planned.
RB: Look, I'll keep this short. I came to OOWF a little over two months ago. I thought that if I played fair and worked hard, that I'd be given some small amount of respect.
Eco watches, not exactly sure what she's getting at.
RB: In those two months, I've been beaten outside the ring, watched people with serious problems take out their rage against opponents in extremely violent and illegal ways. I have sworn to try and help. And I am attempting to do my part.
She paces a little then stills herself and takes a deep breath.
RB: And all I am hearing from you is that I'm not there, I'm not reliable and I should be there for you.
Eco looks as if he is going to offer a rebuttal, but Ravenna continues.
RB: I had hoped to get to know you better, but this all blew up too quickly. If you want my help, if you want me to get thrown into this ridiculous war, after being here such a short time. I want you to understand that I'm not a blind devotee to this crusade.
I don't bleed or put my life at stake carelessly. No more blindly rushing down hallways and mob tactics. We need strategy.
If you want me in, I need your trust. Go to bat for me and I'll do the same. That's all I ask.
Can you agree to that?
The camera pans and zooms in on Eco's face as it pans out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:25:13 GMT -5
*Stank takes a seat next to Moose at the bar.*
MHJ - Here to congratulate me on winning this?
Stank - No.
MHJ - You wanna try and take it from me?
Stank - Not particularly. I just want to say I heard you and Poe talking earlier and it just so happens I agree with you.
MHJ - Really?
Stank - Sure. But their dynamic is an issue.
*Stank looks over at Poe sitting on the couch next to Selena.*
MHJ - What do you suggest?
Stank - I have no fucking idea. You know more about their history than I do.
MHJ - Barely. My sister and I were never really close. She didn't know about me during her stay in Japan.
Stank - I figured as much.
MHJ - Jacob told me about her when I was eleven.
Stank - Jacob?
MHJ - My... father.
Stank - Oh.
MHJ - Jacob kept tabs on her though I have no idea why. He wasn't exactly the family sort. Whenever I would "visit" Jacob, sometimes, during his episodes of soberness he'd be all "Lisa this" and "Fire that". "She's JUST like your bitch of a mother" He'd say.
Stank - Ouch.
MHJ - No worries... my mother was a bitch... not that I ever met her to know first hand.
Stank -
MHJ - Anyway... an interesting fact. I was there for Fire's first match.
Stank - Is that so?
MHJ - She lost... badly... but watching her fight... it was... intoxicating.
Stank - That's not at all what I thought you were going to say.
MHJ - It was my first time seeing her live and in person... there was no doubt in my mind she was my sister... she fought just like me.
Stank - You didn't introduce yourself?
MHJ - Why would I? She didn't know me and I... ... ... there was just no point in it. I was only there out of curiosity... nothing more.
Stank - So when did she find out about you?
MHJ -
Stank - Moose?
MHJ *Takes a swig of his beer* - ... I don't really want to talk about that.
Stank - Suit yourself.
*Stank and Moose sit in silence for a few minutes drinking. Greg the Bartender walks over and refills their glasses. As he walks away Moose lowers his head.*
Stank - Something on your mind?
MHJ - It was in Japan.
Stank - What was?
MHJ - The day I officially "met" my sister was in Japan. She didn't know I was her brother until she came here, but we "met" in Japan.
Stank - And by "met" you mean...?
MHJ - ... ... I took her to the hospital. She had been stabbed. She was lying in the street, in a pool of her own blood... it reminded me of... something. I don't know what, but the image was somehow... familiar to me.
Stank - Jesus... didn't Poe have something to do with that?
*Moose is lost in thought and doesn't answer at first.*
Stank - Moose?
MHJ - Wha- uh.. actually... not really. I mean...
Stank - Not really? What do you know?
MHJ -
Stank - Much of your sister's heat with Poe has to do with that incident... or so I gather.
MHJ - No... their "heat" as you put it has more to do with everything that happened and didn't happen... immediately after.
Stank - Well if you know more about what happened to her, if that somehow could exonerate Poe then maybe they could recon-
MHJ - Let it go Lucas.
Stank – Why? This could help us.
*Moose grabs Stank’s arm.*
MHJ – I said let it go.
*Moose hops off the bar stool and walks back toward his room. Stank follows. Moose walks into his room and notices Stank following behind him.*
MHJ - What?
Stank - You know what.
*Moose yanks Stank's arm, pulling the big man inside. Moose shuts the door.*
MHJ – Listen Lucas just drop it okay? I didn’t mind you finding out Lisa and I are siblings. It didn’t matter to me really. We weren’t exactly keeping it a secret we simply didn’t volunteer that information.
Stank – But this time you ARE hiding something.
MHJ – I’m simply not volunteering information.
Stank – Information that could vastly improve The Five as a group.
MHJ – We’re fine. The Five… is fine the way it is.
Stank – What is the big deal? If you know something that could “improve” the relationship between Poe and Fire… why not spill it?
MHJ – You’re not going to let this go are you?
Stank – You haven’t given me a compelling reason to.
MHJ – What if I threaten to carve you like a Thanksgiving turkey?
Stank – Seriously? You’re threatening ME with violence?
MHJ - *sigh* I’m asking you to let it go.
Stank – What… as a friend? Ha!
*Moose looks contrite*
Stank – What the fuck is the matter with you?
MHJ –
Stank – Listen Moose-
MHJ *Interrupting* - I don’t have … I… listen… other than LD, you and Poe are the closest things to friends I’ve ever had.
Stank – You’re acting weird.
MHJ – And Lisa…? Jacob can go to hell I have never given a shit about him other than when he's been useful. Fire on the other hand... And I'll kill you if you ever tell her any of this but she is the only family I got… and for what it's worth... for as much grief as she gives me... I want to keep it that way.
Stank - Awww. That's so sweet.
MHJ - Fuck you.
Stank -Okay fine... whatever... but I still don't get why you wouldn't tell her what you know about Poe if it would help.
MHJ - Stank... I’m going against my very nature by asking you politely to drop this… otherwise it will get violent.
Stank – Moose violence has never been a deterrent to me and you know that. You say you want me to drop this, but… I get the feeling you really want to tell me. So just tell me already.
MHJ – DAMN IT LUCAS!
*Stank stares at Moose intently. LD Williams peeks his head in.*
LDW – Everything alright in here?
*Stank continues to stare at Moose in silence. Moose says nothing, but gestures for LD Williams to come in.*
MHJ – Fine… I might as well tell you both. But the INC’s need to get the fuck out NOW!
*For a brief moment the last of the invisible ninja cameramen lingers inside hoping to capture footage but a death glare from Stank tells him he should go before he is murdered.*
INC – What’s the point in being invisible if they know you’re there anyway?
*The camera stays just outside of Moosehead Jack’s chamber for several minutes, trying to pick up what bits of conversation can be heard through the door. It’s all muffled and only comes from one source… Moose. After a moment of silence the door opens as Stank and LD Williams walk out. Moose closes the door behind them. Stank glances down at LD.*
Stank – Well… that was…
LDW – … not what I expected.
Stank – You couldn’t have expected much.
LDW – I only asked if everything was alright in there.
Stank – Got more than you bargained for.
LDW – Serves me right for being nosey.
*Stank and LD stand there in silence for a few moments.*
Stank – This is quite the sick little group we're a part of.
LDW – Sometimes I feel we’re the only somewhat sane ones here.
Stank – What does that say about us?
LDW –
Stank –
*Stank smirks as the two of them stroll back over by the bar*
LDW – Yeah… well… can’t wait for THAT ticking time bomb to go off.
Stank – I’m thinking about setting it off now.
LDW – WHAT? You CAN’T!
Stank – Why the fuck not?
LDW – Because Jack will kill you for starters.
Stank – You said it yourself… It’s a ticking time bomb. When not IF, but WHEN Fire finds out it…
LDW - … She’s not going to! Not from you or me! Does your word mean ANYTHING?
Stank – What WORD? I didn’t promise Moose anything.
LDW – You CAN’T tell Lucas… I mean it!
Stank – You mean it?
LDW – I’m putting my foot down.
Stank -
LDW - My foot is down.
Stank – Your foot is down? Pick your foot back up LD because this is not something we need to let happen down the road. We need this to get out in the open right the fuck now.
LDW – Who are YOU to say when?
Stank – I’m within the blast radius. So are you. I’m not interested in being collateral damage. The potential aftermath will affect ALL Five of us. If we’re to continue to be The Five then this shit needs to come out in the open so we can deal with. It WILL be exponentially WORSE if we wait… You know goddamn well I’m right about that.
LDW – You may be right… but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should feel compelled to do the right thing.
Stank – I don’t follow.
LDW – Jack should be the one to tell her and NO one else.
Stank – I agree… but he ain’t talking.
LDW – And you know WHY.
Stank – That’s not an excuse… especially considering we’re talking about Moosehead Jack. The moment he-
LDW – I know what you’re about to say but OBVIOUSLY something's changed.
Stank – Which is EXACTLY WHY he should just spill it! Silence is NOT the way to handle this!
F – Handle what?
*Stank and LD sit quietly sipping their beers.*
F – Handle what Stank? What’s going on?
Stank – Fire… Lisa…
LDW – Shut. up. Lucas.
Stank –
F – What… is going on?
*Stank glares at LD who glares right back. Finally Stank breaks the silence.*
Stank – You should try to get along better with Poe.
F – THAT’S what you two are yammering about?
Stank – You know me. I’m all about team unity.
F– Look don’t worry about it okay. I’ll stay out of his way if he stays out of mine.
Stank – That’s not good enough.
F– Oh?
*Stank glances over at Fire.*
Stank – Look, far be it from me to tell you how you should act.
LDW – Lucas…
Stank – Shut up LD… I got this....but your actions are affecting the group.
FW – MY ACTIONS? WHAT ABOUT…
Stank – Let me finish Fire, please.
FW –
Stank – I’m not about to keep score here. I’m not defending anyone. Quite frankly I’m on no one’s side here but OUR side… and when I tell you your antagonizing Poe over some perceived slight in the past, is affecting this group in the here and now, you should…
FW – LET me STOP you right THERE! NOT that this is ANY of YOUR business, but there was no PERCIEVED slight! I am VERY CLEAR on WHAT and WHO OMAR is! You don’t KNOW ANYTHING about IT! You have NO FUCKING idea!
Stank – Now let me stop you.
LDW – Lucas…
Stank – Zip it LD!
LDW – Lucas. Don’t.
Stank – I’VE GOT this! Fire… listen.
FW – No YOU listen!
Stank –
LDW –
FW - *sigh* Look… I… understand your… concern. I get that Omar is a part of The Five… that WE are The Five. It doesn’t mean I have to like it. Nor does my NOT liking it change the fact. However... that WILL change if you ask me to pretend like nothings happened between the almighty Poe and I.
Stank –
LDW –
FW –
Stank – Fair enough. All I ask is that you not antagonize him further.
FW – I make no such promise.
Stank – Even if…
LDW – LUCAS!
Stank *Ignoring LD* – Fire I don’t know everything. I try to absorb as much information as I can so that I’m as prepared as possible for any eventuality… but I know it’s impossible for me to know EVERYTHING! It’s ultimately a futile task.
FW – Your point?
Stank – You don’t know everything either… you should talk to your brother.
FW – What are you talking about?
*Stank looks over at LD Williams then back at Firewoman.*
Stank – I have nothing further to add. Go talk to your brother.
*Firewoman looks confused… and a little pissed off.*
FW – What are you not telling me?
Stank –
FW – The only thing I'm going to "Talk" to Moose about is giving me back my DDT belt.
*Firewoman walks over to Moosehead Jack’s door.*
LDW – You’ve just killed us.
Stank – No… I just saved us.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:25:43 GMT -5
(Ravenna and Eco are walking down the hallway, their words initially out of range of the camera's microphone. As they are walking, Jericho crosses through the hallway.)
Eco: I need to take care of that.
Ravenna: So we'll talk later. You remember what I said.
Eco: And you remember what happened to Tytan.
Ravenna: Watch it.
(Ravenna exits.)
Eco: Hey Chris.
CJ: Juni, what in the blue hell do you want?
Eco: Many things. A little more money, personal salvation, maybe even a shiny tag team title belt. Not a particularly relevant question though. What do you want, Chris?
CJ: You to shut the hell up.
Eco: Secondary desires?
CJ: Just that one right now.
Eco: How about saving Lisa?
(Jericho shoves Eco up against the wall.)
CJ: Listen, after last time, if you so much as--
Eco: Not from me. Saving her from herself.
CJ: Oh good, Junimessiah has gotten back up on his high horse, riding among the stars and heavens--
Eco: Cut the crap, Chris. I'm entirely serious and you know it. How'd you appreciate Lisa's post-hospital behavior?
CJ: How is that any of your business?
Eco: Everything done on camera is my business. Other things are too, but that's how I determine what I share. She is completely self-destructive.
CJ: I'll grant she is reckless.
Eco: Yet you treat the symptoms and not the disease. Lisa, take it easy. Lisa, don't beat up doctors. Lisa, don't engage in constant death spirals of violence.
CJ: Let me guess, the disease is The Five?
Eco: You scoff, but you volunteer it so easily because it's obvious.
CJ: It's obviously your obsession.
Eco: It's about more than them when it comes to Lisa, right?
CJ: You better start calling her Firewoman.
Eco: Plan to call me Ecosystem any time soon?
CJ: Let me try. Eco--Eco---Ecojunichirassclown. How was that?
Eco: Given the Canadian accent, just fine. Anyway, it's so much more complicated than The Five, right? It's that Li--Fire exists today in an environment that, despite what they may say, encourages and empowers her most reckless and violent impulses. Sure, that means harm to other people, but that means harm to herself as well. You cannot give in to your impulses, your anger, your sadism that fully and come out mentally unscathed. That doesn't mean you lose your sanity, but you surrender some level of humanity, something you can't rediscover or regain past a certain point--and I'm worried she's approaching it.
CJ: So what do you want from me?
Eco: It's not just what I want, it's what you should want from you. Put strength behind your words, Chris. You can reach her if you stop wasting time respecting the autonomy of one who has already surrendered that power to her most base of urges and impulses. I will see you around, I'm sure.
(Eco quickly walks out.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:26:14 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling-Moreland are WALKING~! through an unnamed private hospital in an undisclosed location. Samantha is walking with her head down looking like she just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar*
SDM: Listen...Davin...
DM: Yell at Davin Moreland...Scream at Davin Moreland...Make unfounded accusations at Davin Moreland. All Davin Moreland is is a loving husband who gets yelled at by Samantha the Beautiful over the FuckEachOther Twins.
SDM: I said I was sorry...
DM: Sorry? You bitched Davin Moreland out. You had the wrong hospital. You had the wrong town. Hell, you even had the wrong last name. When, in the United States, have the Darlings ever gone to a PUBLIC hospital within reach of their attackers under the name "Darling"? Seriously, do you ever fucking think?
SDM: I was just worried.
DM: So take it out on Davin Moreland. What has Davin Moreland ever done to deserve that?
*Samantha stares at him*
DM: That's right. Nothing. Here we are.
*They come upon a door with the name plates "A. Smith" and "L. Smith". Inside, Alexander and Alexis Darling are apparently having a staring contest. Davin clears his throat.*
LD: HA! I win!
AD: Fuck you, he cheated.
SDM: You gonna stay?
DM: Why the fuck would Davin Moreland stay?
SDM: They're your family?
DM: You're the one that lost your shit over them. You talk to them. Davin Moreland should cut a promo.
AD: Go fuck yourself, ass.
DM: Your face is an ass.
SDM: Grr...Just GO!
*Davin leaves, and there's a conveniently placed OOWF banner on one of the walls, and a microphone all by its lonesome*
DM: Convenient. *grabs the mic* Hello OOWF Universe, it's your old pal Davin Moreland here. Davin Moreland normally would go on a rant about how Awesome Davin Moreland is, and how much better Davin Moreland is compared to his opponents.
DM: But this week, Davin Moreland is in yet another pointless tag match, with someone Davin Moreland doesn't particularly care for. That's right, Davin Moreland gets to tag with Tytan the Human Growth Hormone.
DM: Davin Moreland has never cared for Tytan the Human Growth Hormone, so he is now to be put on notice...do NOT hinder or otherwise fuck with Davin Moreland this week. Davin Moreland needs to concentrate on Future-Hall-of-Famer Moosehead Quinn in order to eke out a victory.
DM: Stankapottamus you say? Fatty Fatty Fat Fat is no concern of Davin Moreland's any longer. It's easy to eliminate Lucas Took The Lid Off So He Could Eat Something Else. That's right kids...throw cheeseburgers at him!
DM: Since Davin Moreland is in yet another pointless match, Davin Moreland is going to concentrate on Davin Moreland's agenda. Hopefully, Future-Hall-of-Famer Moosehead Quinn will allow his long-time man-servant Stankapottamus to get his ass-kicked a bit. Davin Moreland would appreciate that from Future-Hall-of-Famer Quinn. Davin Moreland's got some ass-whoopin' to do. Cock-a-doodle-doo motherfucker!
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:26:39 GMT -5
<we cut back to the Chamber, lots of action there today. The place is deserted, except for Fire and Moose who have no choice but to be there. They look incredibly bored and appear to be trying to find something to do> FW: We could watch the six man from last week again…… MHJ: We’ve already seen it five times. And every time we get to the part where you go through the table you break something. FW: I am going to kill Folz for that MHJ: It WAS a nice spot FW: So was the razor wire, doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t die for it <another long silence passes between them> FW: So, what the hell was LD and Stank talking about today? MHJ: Lets not go there FW: Really? I think we need to talk MHJ: Fine. You want to talk? Let’s call Jericho and talk about your garbage picking habits FW: Lets not go there <another long silence passes between the siblings> FW: This is ridiculous, I am bored out of my fucking skull, we have to find SOMETHING to do MHJ: What’s left to do? You broke the bottle of Jamesons, smart move by the way, and we have drank most of whats left, Steve had to go get more, and he won’t be back for awhile. FW: Do we have any games around here or anything? Something? MHJ: We don’t out here, Selena may have something in her room…….. FW: Well Uncle Moose, maybe YOU should go look, probably better if I didn’t go in there, wouldn’t want to upset Omar MHJ: Why do you have to be like that? FW: <feigning innocent> Like what? MHJ: You know damn well what <Moose gets up and walks to Selena’s room, after a few minutes he comes back carrying two games, Battleship and Candyland> MHJ: This is what she had FW: Ooh Candyland! MHJ: Really? FW: Shut up Gloppy the Molasses Monster and play, what else are we going to do? MHJ: Fine <We cut to the Hallway of Random Encounters where LD Williams, Stank and Poe are walking. They get round the corner and IHOP is walking down the hall, LD Williams bumps into SYB> SYB: Watch the way you walk you stupid bastard! LD: Easy kid, I’m sorry SYB: I ain’t easy, and I ain’t your kid, you take your sorry and shove it up your ass! I’ll fight you right now! <With that SYB charges at LD Williams, The Amnesiac comes after Poe and Skurge charges Stank. LD catches SYB with a boot to the gut and DROPS him on the cement floor with a DDT. Poe gets a boot up and nearly kicks The Amnesiac’s face off, then throws him HARD into a conveniently placed metal garage door. Stank catches Skurge on his shoulders and DRIVES him to the floor with a STANK-U! IHOP is DEAD!> SYB: <in pain> GODDAMIT! You’re gonna bleed! You got a fight comin’ comin’ today! Bastards! We’re comin’! <Poe, Stank and LD smirk and walk away. We cut back to Fire and Moose playing Candyland> MHJ: BULLSHIT! That was a double yellow! You should be stuck on the gooey gumdrops! FW: It WAS NOT! Are you accusing me of cheating? MHJ: You counted the same yellow TWICE! FW: I DID NOT! MHJ: YOU DID SO! FW: OH YEAH? Well it seems awfully convenient that SOMEONE shuffled the cards and drew the QUEEN FROSTINE card on their FIRST DRAW! MHJ: Are you accusing me of cheating? FW: You did! MHJ: DID NOT! FW: DID TOO! MHJ: DID NOT! FW: DID TOO! <With that, both of them jump over the table at one another, Fire tears out a few more stitches, and Moose catches Fire with a punch to the ribs knocking the breath out of her. Fire is doubled over in pain and Moose pauses for a moment, then Fire picks up the board game and SMACKS Moose upside the head with it! More stunned than hurt, Moose staggers backward and Fire throws the stack of cards at Moose giving him an UNCOMFORTABLE PAPER CUT OF DOOM!> MHJ: OW! DAMMIT! YOU ARE DEAD! <Moose, now bleeding, snaps one of the plastic people in half and lunges at Fire, gouging her forehead with it, and splitting HER wide open as well. Moose hooks Fire and lifts her for a suplex, but the ceiling is too low and Fire’s feet hit the drop ceiling, knocking tiles and a light fixture down on them. Moose drops Fire and tries to clear the ceiling dust from his eyes. Fire takes advantage of the distraction and picks Moose up and hits a HAMADA DRIVER through the coffee table! The impact knocks Moose goofy. Fire gets to her feet, but then slides on the Candyland board and falls to the floor on her side. She gasps for air, but as she flops around, her arm falls across Moose’s chest and suddenly an OOWF referee appears……..> ONE……TWO…..THREE! WINNER! AND NEW DDT IRONWOMAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION – FIREWOMAN! <The referee drops the title across Fire’s chest and disappears as fast as he showed up. As the dust is settling, Poe, LD Williams, Stank and Selena walk in, they see a bloody Moose and Fire and the wreckage of the Candyland game> Sta: What the? LD: Don’t ask |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:27:04 GMT -5
In The Chamber all is more or less quiet. A quick pan around shows that the ceiling and lighting fixture are still hanging the wrong way, and ceiling dust is everywhere. Moosehead Jack and Firewoman are sitting across from each other, the broken coffee table between them. Firewoman is sitting sideways on the sofa, and Moose is slouched in a chair. They both have things that look a little bit like laptops on their laps, since the table is broken, but on closer inspection, it appears they are playing Battleship. FW: Miss. G-8. Where is everyone? MHJ: Someplace quiet. Miss. FW: Damn. It's pretty quiet here. MHJ: Too quiet. Uh....C-4. FW: Of course you would choose C-4. You really think I'd put a ship there? Miss. MHJ: Had to try. FW: G-6. MHJ: Was that incense I smelled earlier? FW: Yeah, Chris brought my meditation kit I had left at home last time. I think it'll help. G-6. MHJ: Help what? FW: You know...stuff....G-6? MHJ: What stuff? FW: (sighing with irritation) Well, when I first got to SWA from Japan, I was pretty out of control, and that helped keep me focus, more like I was before I went there, and it's cheaper than meds and less annoying than psychotherapists, so ... G-6?  MHJ: You need to ignore everyone, including me, really and do what you want. If that's really what you want, fine, but-- FW: You know what I want? MHJ: ..... uh, what? FW: I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A SHIP AT G-FUCKING-SIX! MHJ: Oh...uh...miss. FW: Thank you...geezus. MHJ: So where is Nancyboy.... FW Had to head to Survivor Series. He'll be back. MHJ: Great. Um.......F-3. FW: Miss. E-7. So....you told Stank I was your only family. MHJ: Stank is a sentimental man. He soaks that shit up. FW: Well, I am, you know. MHJ: What did you say? FW: I am. I am your only-- MHJ: No no...what location? FW: E-7. MHJ: Miss. Yeah, you are, but don't go thinking it means anything. It doesn't. FW: Well, it never did, why should it start now? MHJ: Exactly. A-8. FW: It's not your turn. MHJ: Yes it is. You said E-7 FW: No, you said E-7. MHJ: No I didn't. it's my turn, and I say-- FW: You say nothing. It's my turn. MHJ: MINE! FW: MINE! MHJ:.... FW:.... MHJ: I'm thinking it's a good thing we weren't teenagers in the same house. FW: Gods it wouldn't be left standing. MHJ: Well, it's not anyway, since you burned it down. FW: True. Firewoman gets up, and goes to rummage behind the bar. MHJ: There's nothing there. You broke-- FW: I know, I know....Just curious.... She walks back around behind Moose, and can see his board. MHJ: What are you, spying? No cheating! FW: Hey! I said G-6! There's a boat right there! MHJ: Yeah, it's there now....it wasn't before. FW: What? MHJ: It's an ocean. The currents move the boats around. FW: What? That's not how you play Battleship. MHJ: That's how you play Extreme Battleship though. FW: What? MHJ: You move the ships around to simulate the way they'd float around in the ocean and-- FW: That is such bullshit. That's not "Extreme Battleship." That is cheating. Moose stands up with mock indignation. MHJ: Well. I'm offended. I'll not sit here and be insulted. He kicks the box from the game off the top of the remains of the coffee table, and it falls, scattering pegs and five battleships everywhere. Firewoman and Moose look down at the battleships and back up at each other. MHJ: Why are there five battleships still in the box? FW: Extras? Moose grabs Firewoman's game board off the couch, and sees that she has put no battleships on her board. MHJ: What the fuck? Why did you not put any on the board? FW: My team favors diplomatic solutions, not warfare. MHJ: WHAT? So you were just going to let me call out numbers until -- FW: Until I hit one of you magical moving ships? Moose growls in frustration and throws the board at Firewoman who catchs it and throws it back at him. The corner hits one of Moose's stitches. MHJ: Ow!! Dammit, watch it!! FW: You started it! MHJ: Yeah, I'm finishing it. Moose lunges at Fire, but gets tripped up by the remains of the coffee table. Fire dodges him and then grabs him by the hair and pulls him through the debris. She hops up to the arm of the sofa, and jumps (not too high because of the low ceiling) and elbow drops right onto the back of Moose's head. They both go down to the floor. Moose pushes Fire away as they both stand. Fire begins to charge Moose, but he leaps and dropkicks Fire. Fire staggers backward into a large mirror, shattering it into a million pieces. Fire slumps to the floor, shards of glass sticking out of her back, her eyes half closed. Moose starts to gloat, but then looks more closely... MHJ: Fire? You okay? He leans over to check on her, and her eyes instantly open. She smiles, and jabs Moose in the eye. He flies backward, hands to his face, as she ... gingerly... gets to her feet. She takes a step and steps right on one of the battleships. She looks down to see what she stepped on, and Moose (barely) sees his opportunity for a clothesline, driving Fire onto her shard-impaled back. He makes the pin and an OOWF referee appears. ONE......TWO......THREE! WINNER! AND NEW DDT IRONMAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION....MOOSEHEAD JACK! MHJ: HA! FW: Dammit! The rest of the Five return from wherever they were Stank: What....the....hell....... MHJ: (panting) Battleship.... Poe: Selena, Goddess...do you have any more board games? SG: Yeah, why? Poe: Collect them up and give them to Mr. Lucky. We'll just get them completely out of the locker room until this silliness is over. SG: Awwww.... LDW: Good job. I was hoping to play Clue later. MHJ: Shut up. |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:27:37 GMT -5
Starting to wonder....
(Tytan has gotten a hold of a mic and is with SFJ#52 he is pissed and has something to say.)
Tytan: Well here we go again. It seems...The Unholy union is more organized then Team TEaM. The 5 is more organized then the rest of the OOWF. And once again Tytan is a victim of another random hallway attack and where was anyone?
I have busted my tail to help our common goal and have done my part. I have been focused on Moose and going after him however I can and to when I think about it I have been doing a pretty good job.
Now I get another baseball bat in the gut by LD and I get told once again that I shouldn't be listening to you. Eco I understand you have been on this personal Crusade to save Firewoman but what about your partner and the rest of the Team. Hell when was the last time we actually cut a promo together.
But now you Mr. talks-out-of-his-ass-and- shoots-nothing-but-hot-air, I got four words for you SHUT THE HELL UP. I never liked you from the beginning and I actually thought it would be cool to have a tag-match with you. But oh my God, Mr. talks-out-of-his-ass-and- shoots-nothing-but-hot-air. If I have to hear Mr. talks-out-of-his-ass-and- shoots-nothing-but-hot-air continue to talk about Mr. talks-out-of-his-ass-and- shoots-nothing-but-hot-air's own agenda. Then I am going to shoot myself. So, Mr. talks-out-of-his-ass-and- shoots-nothing-but-hot-air just shut up and be ready to take on Stank and Moose. I'll be there and I'll be ready will you?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:28:01 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is sitting in Davin Moreland's Locker Room, presented by Dunkin' Donuts. Moonbeam is next to him pulling bong rips as the both watch Tytan's promo on OOWF-TV*
DM: Wait...is Tytan the Human Growth Hormone talking about me?
SFJ420: Dude...looks like it...right?
DM: Tytan the Human Growth Hormone? Listen. Davin Moreland will give you some advice. Davin Moreland, Fattapotamus and Moosehead Quinn have been in matches like this before, and know what it takes to compete. Trust Davin Moreland, Davin Moreland would like nothing more than to blow one of Stank's knees out again while Davin Moreland laughs at him.
DM: But, Tytan the Human Growth Hormone, you see, you're not really...how does Davin Moreland put this politely...in our league. There are 6 World Heavyweight Championships between the three of us.
DM: Your job, Tytan the Human Growth Hormone, is to stay the fuck out of Davin Moreland's way and don't screw anything up with that 10-cent-head of yours. Yes, Davin Moreland is on the same team with you, but make no mistake, Davin Moreland does not like you, Davin Moreland does not respect you, and the only thing that makes you remotely tolerable is that you're not Alexander Sisterfucker.
DM: So, Tytan the Human Growth Hormone, while you struggle to cut pointless promos as if anyone gave a flying fuck what you ever had to say about anything, ever; Davin Moreland will be in the gym working extra hard because Davin Moreland realizes he will have to carry this team this Wednesday.
DM: Tytan the Human Growth Hormone? Do your job. Stay the fuck out of Davin Moreland's way, and we'll emerge victorious. If you try to do anything stupid, you will cost us the match, and then you'll have to deal with Davin Moreland as well.
DM: Cock-a-doodle-doo mutherfucker!
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:28:30 GMT -5
<we cut back to the Chamber, which is still completely destroyed. The coffee table and mirror are broken, the light fixture is hanging from what is left of the ceiling. Moose is sitting on the couch, Fire is rummaging behind the bar> FW: WHERE THE HELL IS STEVE? MHJ: I think his name is Greg FW: HIS NAME IS WHATEVER THE FUCK I SAY IT IS! MHJ: What is your problem? FW: <trying to be calm> I would like………a drink MHJ: Well good luck. I was told Greg was told not to come back here with the liquor order. FW: WHAT??? Who. Told. You. That. MHJ: Does it matter? FW: Well we will need a name for the tombstone MHJ: Lush FW: Kiss my ass MHJ: There is not enough chapstick in the world <Fire snarls and hops over the bar and charges at Moose. As he stands up, Fire SPEARS him into the wall smashing the drywall. Fire pulls Moose to his feet and tries to whip him into the bar, but Moose reverses it and sends Fire sailing over the bar, knocking all the glasses to the floor! Fire lies in a pile of glass on the floor, grabbing her ribs. Moose grabs the darts from the dartboard and hops onto the bar. He throws the first one and it hits Fire in the thigh. She howls in pain and gets up, avoids the next two darts and sweeps Moose’s legs sending him slamming to the bar. Fire staggers out from behind the bar and grabs a brass spittoon and waits for Moose to get to his feet then THUNKS the spittoon off of Moose’s head. Moose falls to the floor and Fire falls on him, an OOWF referee appears from nowhere….. ONE….TWO…..THREE! WINNER AND NEW DDT IRONPERSON HEAVY METAL CHAMPION – FIREWOMAN ……the referee hands Fire the title and disappears. Fire slowly gets to her feet and drapes the title over her shoulder> FW: That totally sparkles with me. <Moose gets to his feet and grabs his head, which is bloody from the spittoon shot and is about to lunge at Fire when there is a knock on the door. He pauses, then turns and opens the door. A courier hands him a large box, Moose rummages for a couple bucks in his pocket then slams the door and tosses the box down on the bar, or what is left of it> FW: What’s that? MHJ: A box FW: No shit, what’s in it? MHJ: I don’t know, maybe you should look <Fire opens the box and we see it is a birthday cake with a Columbus Blue Jackets logo and one of their players holding the Stanley Cup. Fire looks at Moose and…….is she almost teary eyed?> FW: You remembered MHJ: Uh huh <Fire turns away for a moment and mutters something like “damn you, jerk”> MHJ: I have one other thing, hold on <Moose goes into his room and rummages around and comes back with two quarts of poteen> FW: YOU HAD THIS ALL ALONG!?!?! MHJ: Yep FW: Why didn’t you tell me? MHJ: Cause then you would have wanted it FW: No shit MHJ: Just shut up and cut the cake <Fire cuts two pieces of cake and the siblings toast their poteen and eat, we fade to the Hallway of Random Encounters to show that time is passing> <We see Ravenna Blue walking down the Hallway of Random Encounters…….alone, probably not the smartest move. As she rounds a corner she comes upon LD Williams, Poe, Selena and Stank> Stank: Well look who it is, little Ravenna Blue SG: Ewwwwww, I smell dork! Poe: Ms. Blue, I don’t know that we have had the pleasure. Allow me to introduce my associates RB: I know who all of you are Poe: Tsk, tsk, tsk, that is poor form Ms. Blue <LD Williams steps close to Ravenna> LD: So I hear you want to be there for Eco, help him in a war he can’t win RB: <steeling herself> He asked me for my help, and I will do what I can, yes LD: Well, seems like now would be a perfect opportunity for you to prove yourself, wouldn’t it? RB: Three on one. I’m not stupid V: No, she’s not stupid <The members of The Five turn and look and they see Team TEaM walking down the hall, Eco, Tytan and Folz> Eco: I think you were saying something Williams Stank: Now is not the time. You three are not going to use this asswhuppin as an excuse for Sunday <The members of The Five back away as Ravenna breathes a sigh of relief and looks thankfully at Eco. We cut back to the Chamber and see that a good dent has been put into the bottles of poteen and half the cake is gone. The Quinn siblings are feeling pretty good> MHJ: Damn, is it just me, or is the room……..spinning FW: Its you, how many chair shots to the skull have you tak…..<Fire tries to stand up> whooooah. I think I will just sit down MHJ: Good idea. <Moose begins to laugh maniacally> FW: Whas so funmy? MHJ: Guess who I am. <deeper voice> I am Moosehead Quinn, I think Moosehead Quinn is better than everyone else. Moosehead Quinn is really a douchebag, but Moosehead Quinn things he is the best douchebag that has ever lived FW: HAHAHAHAH! Let me try one. <Fire belches loudly and almost vomits> That’s Asian for I drink shitty beer <Both Jack and Fire crack up at this> MHJ: Let me try another. Ohhhhh you kids! You are really sandifying my vagina! I have no taste in music and like some shitty baseball teams! NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! <Fire doubles over laughing and falls out of her chair. As she hits the floor she gasps loudly, Moose thinks she hurt her ribs> MHJ: You ok? FW: Huh? Yeah. LOOK! <Fire reaches under the wreckage of the couch and pulls out a deck of cards> FW: CARDS! MHJ: So? FW: So? So we can play a GAME! MHJ: I KNOW! LETS PLAY WAR! The loser has to take a shot! FW: YES! <We cut away again and go to commercial> <All dressed in tuxedos, posed team picture style, we see all the members of IHOP, SYB, Skurge, The Amnesiac, Monkh, The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Fezzik and Jeffrey From Las Vegas> IHOP: <In unison> Hello, do you know us? Skurge: We’re a professional wrestling stable, but since we haven’t won a title in many months, nobody recognizes us, not even in our own hometown. SYB: That’s why we carry the Professional Wrestler Express card. No matter how far from title contention we are, it keeps us from jobbing at our favorite hotels and restaurants. Fezzik: So if you’re looking for some man event clout, apply for the little big move hitter Dorothy Mantooth: Look what its done for us. People still don’t recognize us but…..<snapping her fingers>…..we’re champions now! The Amnesiac: <landing a moonsault in his tux on a nameless jobber , then holding up the Professional Wrestler Express card> The Professional Wrestler Express Card…..don’t main event without it! <we cut back to the Chamber to see the poteen nearly gone and Fire and Moose barely hanging on to consciousness playing WAR with the cards> MHJ: Eight beats three, I WIN! YOU DRINK! <Fire takes another shot and has to steady herself> FW: M…mebbe makin thus a drink game washn’t a good ideer. HA! Queen bees Jack! I win! Drink! <Moose finishes his poteen and almost passes out, but Fire reaches across the floor and smacks him back awake> MHJ: Ace beats……well it beats everything! HA! FW: I HAVE AN ACE TOO Both: WAR! <They set up and Fire flips a King, Moose flips an Ace> MHJ: HA! I WON FW: YOU CHEATED! YOU ARE DEALING FROM THE TOP OF THE DECK! MHJ: I AM NOT! FW: YOU ARE SO! I SAW YOU MHJ: YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW! FW: I CAN SEE YOU ARE A DIRTY CHEATER! <Fire moves to get up and we see three aces under her leg> MHJ: WHAT THE HELL! How many aces are in this? FW: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? <With that Moose leaps at Fire and catches her in the face with his shoulder. He grabs the empty bottle as he struggles to his feet and throws it at Fire, but somehow she moved and it crashes through the tv screen. Fire picks up a chair and slams it across Moose’s back, shattering it (the chair, not his back) then yanks the light plug out of the wall and wraps it around Moose’s throat. Moose struggles, and is bleeding again. He gets to his feet and staggers backward into the bar, cracking Fire’s ribs on the wood. She releases the hold and falls to her knees, Moose breaks the lamp over the top of her head. With Fire on the floor, Moose struggles to his feet and rolls on top of the par and picks up the box with half a cake left in it. As Fire struggles to her feet, Moose stumbles down the bar and leaps at Fire and PANCAKES her with the cake to her face! Fire and Moose both fall backward and go THROUGH the wall into the Chamber Weapon Room, the door to which had been heavily padlocked to prevent them from getting in there. Both look up at the array or weapons, Fire wiping cake from her face, Moose wiping blood from his. They both try to get up, but then the poteen catches up with them and both fall to the floor, their day done at least for a few hours> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:28:56 GMT -5
(This promo takes place while Tytan is being attacked by L.D. Williams... Drink & Destroy are in the Destroyitarium.)
SH: I've been thinking, guys.
DHM: What're you thinkin' about?
SH: Refining our strategies... but we need to warm up our strategic thinking glands.
Spencer Darling: Strategic thinking glands?
Ashley: Haven't you heard of the strategic thinking gland? It's right above your spleen.
SD: That was terrible.
Ashley: But it made you laugh, didn't it?
SH: No. This is the exercise that the masters used...
(He hops over the bar and opens a cupboard underneath it and emerges with... a copy of Axis and Allies?)
SH: BEHOLD! THE ULTIMATE TEST OF CEREBRAL FITNESS!
OBJ: You stole that line from "One Night In Bangkok", mate.
Wally B. King: That reminds me of my last night in Bangkok...
Everyone else: WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
Spencer Darling: You seriously want me to play Axis and Allies with you? I have no idea how. I'll watch.
Ashley: I'm out.
SH: C'mon, guys. It'll be fun and get our minds off of all of the bad shit that's been happening lately.
OBJ: Dibs on the British!
SH: I'll take the Russians.
DHM: Guess I'm playing as th' US.
SH: We need two other people. Hold on, I'll see if I can find someone...
(Spin pokes his head out of the door.)
SH: WE'RE PLAYING A BOARD GAME AND NEED MOR—
Concrete TG: Never fear, citizen! I even brought my lucky D6es and custom armies!
OBJ: Arm...ies?
CTG: I ordered custom, period-appropriate troops from the Internet and painted them myself!
SH: Germans or Japanese?
CTG: I'll fight as the Imperial armies of Nippon!
SH: Where's Ravenna?
CTG: She's running late... would you escort her while I get my stuff sorted out?
(The camera pans to what looks like a large fishing tackle box full of various roleplaying dice, figurines, and landscape pieces. He pulls out a drawer and starts arranging his army.)
SH: Sure, I guess.
CTG: Oh, and Citizen Hansen: Try to refrain from any sudden movements. She's... a bit touchy still.
SH: 10-4.
(Spin leaves the Destroyitarium and walks down a hallway... right into a HIEROGLYPH! Spin does NOT fall, but is definitely woozy... Poe capitalizes on this and hits an OBELISK ONTO THE CEMENT FLOOR! Spin is busted wide open and slumps lifelessly to the floor...)
Poe: You have not listened, Hansen... so I present you with one final warning. Do not interfere in the affairs of The Five. Your world has ended. Ours begins.
Selena Gomez: So long, LOSER!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:29:19 GMT -5
**Moosehead Jack and Firewoman have recovered and the Weapons room has been boarded up. They are sitting in the main room of Chamber V, staring at each other over the wreckage, when L.D. Williams comes out of his room carrying a box. He places it on the remains of the coffee table and Moose peers inside.**
MHJ: “What the hell is that?”
LDW: “Quilted playing cards.”
MHJ: "What kind of stupid-”
LDW: “My mother made them.”
MHJ: “sorry.”
**Firewoman smirks.**
LDW: “She started making them years ago for her friends who aren't allowed sharp objects. She thought a set might help you two stop trying to kill each other long enough to learn to get along.”
**Fire and Moose exchange a look, looking almost mollified.**
MHJ: “Worth a shot.”
FW: <looking into the box> “Did she make poker chips too?”
LDW: “Use your clothes.”
MHJ & FW: “NOT THE DARLINGS!!”
***********
**L.D. Williams enters Poe's locker room, where the non-grounded members of The Five have retreated.**
Poe: “Did they buy it?”
LDW: “Hook, line and sinker.”
**Lucky steps in front of an internet camera facing a large screen, with what appears to be a roulette table on it.**
L: “Okay folks, betting is now open, Two dollars a bet, 5 ways to win: Name-the-Victim, Where-the-Card-will-be-Surgically-Removed-From, Color, Suit, and, if you're feeling really lucky, What the Card will be.”
**Behind Lucky, the monitor starts to light up as bets are placed. Williams chuckles and walks over to sit beside Stank.**
S: “You are evil.”
LDW: “What? You were the one complaining about having to pay to restock the bar.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:29:40 GMT -5
An old women is kneeling beside an old tombstone brushing away the leaves. I tall dark figure approaches her, blocking out the sun and casting a shadow over her, without looking up she speaks…
Old woman: “So my prodigal, returns.”
Man: “So he does, I see the tombstone I bought got installed…”
OW: “Yes, but it was no substitute for you! YOU should have been here!”
Man: “I was working”
OW: “He was your father!”
Man” Then he understands.”
OW: “I don’t!”
Man: “I’m sorry.”
OW: “Are ye now, I needed you, I don’t know if I can ever forgive you…”
Man: “No, I guess you won’t, you will have to add it to the list.”
The old woman begins to struggle to her feet and the man reaches down and helps her up.
OW: “Well, come back to the house and I’ll make you up some lunch.”
Man: “Fine, but I’ll have to go afterward.”
OW: “Go? You only just arrived.”
Man: “I’ve business to attend to.”
OW: “You always have business to attend to. Does your business concern her?”
Man: “Not directly, not unless she makes it her business, we haven’t really had anything to with each other for some time, I have no need of her.”
OW: “Don’t you lie to mother, your eyes tell me the truth, now come on and I'll put tea on.”
Man: “A dab of Tully won’t hurt”
OW: “No I expect it wouldn’t”
Scene fades with old woman leaning on the man as they walk to the open gate of the cemetery. The sky begins to darken and in the distance thunder rolls…there is a storm brewing.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:30:05 GMT -5
After the wild evening of card playing and betting (insert betting results HERE_____), members of the Five have gathered back in the main area of Chamber V...all except for Firewoman who is in her locker room with the recently just re-arrived Chris Jericho.
Stank is sitting at the bar, Moosehead Jack and LD Williams are on one of the couches (yes, there's more than one) discussing...something. Poe is on the other couch smoking hookah while Selena dances with her pink barbed wire bat while listening to BC's awesome 90's mix CD (VOTE NOW!!) Greg the Bartender is cleaning the glasses Stank finishes.
GtB: Excuse me...Mr. Poe?
Everyone except Selena stops what they're doing and look between Greg the Bartender and Poe.
Poe: What is it?
GtB: Can I speak with you for a moment?
Poe stands up and walks over to the bar. Selena stops dancing and hops up onto a barstool next to Poe. Poe just looks at Greg the Bartender, waiting for him to continue.
GtB: Sir, with all due respect, in your last promo, you had my name as "Steve the Bartender." It's not "Steve the Bartender" it's "Greg the Bartender." You even had me address myself as such.
Poe smirks and looks at Stank before looking back to Greg the Bartender.
Poe: Is it my fault that Stank here hired a bartender so uneducated and stupid that he can not even remember his own name during promos?
GtB: No sire, I believe it's BC's. He wrote the promo.
Kayfabe pops up from behind the bar. She places one hand on her hip and waves a finger in front of Greg the Bartender.
GtB: ...but my name is Greg! Greg the Bar...
Selena slams her hands down on the bar.
SG: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!
Everyone looks at Selena as she laughs.
SG: Sorry, I was totally channeling that Duane Johnson dude.
Poe: Greg, your name is duly noted. Kayfabe, please stop blowing Greg the Bartender.
SG: Ass clowns
Jericho pops his head out of Firewoman's door.
CJ: That's my line!
MHJ: Coming from the man who just last night said they hate catchphrases.
CJ: Shut up Moose!
Selena grins widely, handing her pink barbed wire bat to Moose, who just shakes his head "no"
CJ: And stop stealing my lines you pubescent plebian paracite
SG: Did he just insult me?
Poe: Mr. Jericho, you are sleeping under my roof, eating my food, and I just allowed you to use my private jet to fly to and from Hershey so you could be with your beloved Firewoman on her birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY...BELATED!) I'd advice you to shut your mouth and never to insult Goddess again. Am I clear?
CJ: Sure thing Hadji
Poe turns quickly towards Jericho. LD Williams and Stank quickly place themselves between Poe and Jericho. Selena smiles widely and holds her pink barbed wire bat out to Poe, who doesn't take it. Firewoman finally comes out of her locker room to see what the commotion is. Poe sees her and snarls.
Poe: We all gave our word that we would treat you well while you were here. I am a man of my word.
Poe sits down, grabbing his hookah pipe.
Poe: Next time, you will not be so lucky. I'd advise you to retire for the evening before I change my mind.
Jericho stares daggers at Poe before walking past Firewoman back into her locker room. Firewoman stares at Poe with crossed arms for a moment, showing no exact emotion before following Jericho in and shutting the door.
SG: JABRONI!
Selena laughs.
SG: I did it again
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:30:30 GMT -5
It's the day before Mayhem, in The Chamber. Firewoman and Moose sit in the ruins of the common area, noticing there are now a host of other things to break (thanks to BC) but appearing to lack the motivation to do so.
FW: Bored.
MHJ: Where's--
FW: Dude, he shouldn't have even been here. He had to head to whatever arena they're at for Smackdown, since it tapes on Tuesdays.
MHJ: Oh....there's those cards.
FW: I'm not playing poker with oven mitts.
MHJ: Well FINE then.
long pause, as Moose slumps in his chair, and Firewoman absent-mindedly flicks her lighter at splintered wood.
FW: I don't know what LD was getting at. I thought we were getting along great.
MHJ: I know!! Playing games. Just like that 'family game night' thing Hasbro used to advertise.
FW: They a sponsor now?
MHJ: I think after this week, they totally should be.
FW: Regardless, we played games, we ate cake, we drank...maybe we should have included LD? You know, maybe he's feeling left out. I should talk to--
MHJ: Don't. Aren't you on a leash now?
FW: *evil smile*
MHJ: I meant....never mind.
Silence. Slump. Flick-flick-flick
MHJ: Should you be doing that?
FW: The splinters are too small to even catch for longer than half a second.
MHJ: I guess you are the expert.
Silence. Slump. Flick-flick-flick
MHJ: We could talk about our matches...you get to team with Poe against Alexander. That'll be interesting.
FW: No comment.
MHJ: C'mon, you can't dodge--
FW: Fuck dodging. Alexander knows me, I know him. We cancel each other out. I'm more interested in Folz.
MHJ: And Eco.
FW: Hm....Tytan and Davin for you.
MHJ: Yes. I will hurt him so hard he will hurt.
FW: What?
MHJ: I thought I'd try mailing it in, Davin style.
FW: Doesn't work for you.
Silence. Slump. Flick-flick-flick
MHJ: Damn, they took EVERYTHING out of here.
FW: I can't believe you thought I'd fall for that Monopoly idea. *mocking Moose-voice* "You buy everything on the first two sides, and I'll buy everything on the last two. It'll go quicker that way" That would give you all the the high-rent properties.
MHJ: *evil big brother laugh* Yeah, well you thought about it.
[OOC: No lie... My sister used to fall for that every time, 'til about 3rd grade.]
Silence. Slump. Flick-flick-flick
FW: How 'bout rock-paper-scissors.
MHJ: *sigh* Fine.
A, shall we say, "spirited" game of rock-paper-scissors breaks out, with requisite punches in the arms. As usual, the longer the game progresses, the harder the punches, and Moose is definitely coming out on the winning side more often than not. Firewoman scowls, and they go again.
MHJ: One...two...three...ROCK!
FW: *her hand in the form of a gun*. Gun. Gun targets rock. I win. *punch*
MHJ: Ouch. Damn for a girl you--
FW: Finish that sentence.
MHJ: Fine. Gun?
FW: Yeah, just three options is boring.
MHJ: Really? So what beats gun?
FW: Um...well "Paper outlaws gun."
MHJ: Does it now. Okay, again. One...two...three....PAPER!
FW: *Making a fist, and her thumb pointing down* Tree. Tree creates paper. *punch*
MHJ: Ow! Dammit! How many of these 'variations' are there?
FW: Um...25.
MHJ: What? No way.
FW: Yeah, there's Alien, Nuke, Man, Woman, Monkey, Snake...
Firewoman goes through a long list, with various hand symbols associated
MHJ: That all 25?
FW: I think so....
MHJ: Fine. One more. All or nothing.
FW: Huh?
MHJ: I win, I get to heart punch you. You win, you get to Firestomp me.
FW: I don't see how that's not a win-win for me.
MHJ: IT'S THE MOST DEVASTATING MOVE IN--
FW: Fine...fine...go.
MHJ: One...two...three! NUKE!! ha!!!
FW: Dragon. You lose.
MHJ: WHAT? YOU DIDN'T SAY DRAGON IN YOUR LIST.
FW: *innocent smile* Oh, didn't I?
MHJ: And how the FUCK can Dragon--
FW: "Dragon lived before nukes."
MHJ: That's asinine.
FW: That's the game, brother dear.
MHJ: You cheated.
FW: You agreed to a game where you didn't know all the rules. You're slipping. C'mon.
MHJ: Fine.
Moose lays down face first, and Firewoman stands on his back.
MHJ: Oof...Damn....enough cake for you.
FW: You're just making this easier.
Firewoman grabs his arms behind him, but before she can get them behind him, he bends one arm at the elbow, and rolls her up, shoulders to the floor. An OOWF referee appears and counts.
ONE...TWO...THREE....WINNER AND NEW DDT IRONMAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION – MOOSEHEAD JACK
MHJ: HA!
FW: Cheater! Give me my belt.
MHJ: Come get it!
Firewoman chases Moose around the Chamber, with near misses, as her rage blinds her for a bit, even though she's way faster and more agile than he is. Moose runs behind the bar, but then finds himself cornered. Oops. Fire grins and calms down a bit, as she follows him behind the bar.
FW: Just tap now.
MHJ: No way am I tapping to you.
FW: Fine.
Fire starts throwing the newly purchased glasses at Moose, which he dodges nicely, although they shatter everywhere. Moose finally sees an opening and vaults over the bar, but the weight makes the bar, which is free standing (convenient!) fall over, and it cracks, as do the remaining glasses and bottles behind it. Moose gets caught up in the debris, and Fire goes to attack him, throwing punches at his face. Moose uses the belt to defend, and then grabs her shoulders, flipping her over with a monkey flip. Fire crashes hard into one of the two remaining couches, flipping it over backward, and breaking it in half.
Fire and Moose both get up slowly, Moose still grinning from his win, Fire still angry. They start to go at each other again when Fire stops.
MHJ: Had enough?
FW: Never, just...wait...do you smell something burning?
MHJ: I'm not falling for that...wait, yes I do....
They turn to look and a small flame has broken out on the last remaining couch in the common area of The Chamber.
FW: Oops.
MHJ: I thought you said--
FW: I was wrong okay? But look...we have a reason to leave now.
MHJ: Hey, you're right!
They throw the door open, and the OOWF Security Guards move to block it. Moose and Fire begin yelling "Fire! Fire!" and the guards switch to firefighter mode. As they are dealing with the smallish fire (it ends up just destroying the couch), the Quinn siblings run out of the room and down the hall, smiling.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 13:30:52 GMT -5
Camera pans in on Ravenna in her dressing room writing a letter. In the background soft meditative music is heard and the trickle of her all too familiar water feature seems to soothe the wrestler.
She finishes what she was writing and looks up, at the camera.
"Seriously? How did you even get in here?"
She sighs and folds up the letter and sticks it in her pocket and heads out of the dressing room into the hallway leaving the ninja cameraman to catch up.
She seems to be walking with purpose to meet the rest of the faces.
The camera zooms in on the letter in her pocket as she turns another corner.
Camera fades out.
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