OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 05/04/05

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!
Live! From Sopchoppy, Florida!

Semaj B. & Thim Reynolds vs. Firechild & Seraph
Beast vs. Smark - Loser Leaves OOWF Match
UnderDawg vs. GimmickMan vs. Niles Anderson vs. Microplay - Elimination match for shots at the World Title. Rules: Elimination order decides when you get a world title shot, 1st man eliminated gets a shot next week, and so on and so on. The last man standing gets a steel cage match at Blood, Sweat and Fear PPV
Johnny Adrenaline vs. Mark Vander - Texas Bullrope match for the Intercontinental Title
LD Williams vs. Attitude Adjuster
Blackdragon vs. Capellan vs. JW Westgaard
Donovan Viper vs. Chris Alt - OOWF World Title Match
Canadian Dragon vs. Blade - Ladder Match
3Piece Set vs. Revolution XX - OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Outback Jack & GatorBait vs. Endo & Morte
Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG vs. Uncle Entity & Mercury
The Devil's Brigade vs. FF Capslock & Stank vs. Hellion & Corax


Card subject to change through cosmic odyssey

[mooseheadjack]

The screen goes black. Words flash on the screen, interspersed with clips of OOWF action.


LESSON 1



CAUSE AND EFFECT



CAUSE

Clip of Attitude Adjuster in his first OOWF interview, claiming to deserve a shot at Concrete TG’s Intercontinental Title

EFFECT

Clip of L.D. Williams pasting Attitude Adjuster with a chair and pinning him at Holiday Hell

CAUSE

Clip of Attitude Adjuster having L.D. Williams arrested at Midweek Mayhem

EFFECT

Clip of L.D. Williams pinning Attitude Adjuster at Violent Resolutions

CAUSE

Clip of Attitude Adjuster laying out L.D. Williams with a chair at Blood on the Walls

EFFECT

Clip of L.D. Williams attacking Attitude Adjuster with a golf club, also at Blood on the Walls

CAUSE

Clip of Attitude Adjuster in the background as Thim Reynolds pastes L.D. Williams with a chair at Midweek Mayhem

EFFECT

Clip of a cemetery with a fresh grave and a stone marked Alan Capps

[mooseheadjack]

Viper is looking over the list of matches for next week.

DV: Tommy, can you believe this shit? I've got to face that Chris Alter Boy guy again. I beat him already last month.

TO: Ach, e' shouldn'a be a problem fer yoo, right, boyo?

DV: What did he say, Harper?

HC: He's saying that Chris Alt should be no sweat.

DV: Well, yeah, of course he isn't. My thing is that why is he even deserving of a title shot? He lost to Niles Anderson at the PPV. Chris Altered Beast should be back in the mid card, or even jerking the curtain, fighting guys like Mercury, Biscuit, or Canadian Dragon.

TO: Oy, e' looks like Harpa' an' I got us an interesting matchup. Facin' yer ol' runnin mates an' the two big smelly blokes. I reckon' you'll be givin' us som pointers on how The Brigade can but a smashing on Hel & Cor

DV: Come again?

HC: He said that we presume you'll be giving us some strategy against Hellion & Corax, your old Ministry mates.

DV: No.

TO: Eh?
HC: Wha?

TO: An why not? They yer old mates, we the men runnin witchoo now. Don tell me yer rootin fer them. Ye got rid o dem didnja?

DV: No. Listen, Hellion & Corax, they're my homies. We go way back. We came together when no one was looking our way. We made strides together. Just because Underdawg decided to be a little bitch doesn't mean I have beef against these guys, ok? You guys are my partners in crime, yeah. But Hel & Cor, they're my boys.

HC: So what, you're not going to help us, then? No advice or nothing?

DV: Well, I'll tell you this. Despite their current losing streak, they are the best damn tag team in this company. So you're in for a hell of match. Not to mention that those fat fucks Stank and FF Liplock are damn tough, too. Shit, they've beaten my boys thrice already.

HC to TO: Did he use "thrice" in a sentance?
TO to HC: Aye, he did.

DV: So all I can tell you is this. Be your fucking best. Be prepared for anything, because this match is going to be tough as hell for you too. Hel & Cor may be my homies, but it doesn't mean they'll be light on you.

TO: An' why should they? Them boys be as tuf as ye say they are, then they best take us to the limits in this little dance, because we're gon' take the blokes and mess it all up somthin' nasty.

DV: Uh.....

HC: He said that we'd have it no other way, then for Hellion and Corax to go all out on us. Because that's how we're going to do it to them.

DV: Thanks Harper. You ever thought of making some extra money on the side as a translator? I don't even know what Tommy says half the time. What language does he speak?

TO: I speak english, ye daft bastard.

DV: Don't sound like English to me.

TO: It don' matta wot I speak. Me left fist duz the talkin' fer me.

DV: ?

HC: He kicks a lot of ass.

DV: Damn right you do, Tommy. Damn right you do.

[mooseheadjack]

Firechild is in his locker room, watching LD's earlier promo on a monitor...

LD: I’ve earned my place, and no amount of talk from this Pyrobaby, or whatever the hell his name is can change that. I wrestled you once little man, and all I did was beat you because, well, you weren’t worth the effort to put you in the hospital. If you ever get back to a winning record, let me know, and maybe I’ll make time to cripple you.

Cut back to Firechild who is rolling around on the floor, splitting his side in laughter.

FC: 'Pyrobaby' <mwahahahahaha> 'not worth effort' <mwahahahahah> 'cripple' <mwahahahaha>

Semaj sticks his head round the door as Firechild gets a grip of himself, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

SB: You Ok man?

FC: Yeah yeah, it's just something somebody said....

Firechild starts chuckling again, to Semaj's bemusement so he continues.

SB:......OK. You know how you said I could have a rematch any time?

FC: <chuckles> yeah... <chuckles>

SB: Well, were facing each other next week....in tag action.

Firechild calms right down, straightens up and asks....

FC: OK, so you and Thim against me and.....who, Alt?

SB: Nah, Alt's got better things to do than team with you, he's got a world title shot....

A black look of pure envy slips across Firechild's features, but Semaj doesn't notice and continues......

SB: Nah, you're teaming with Seraph.

Firechild stops dead, and withdraws into himself for a second....

FC: What is the GM doing? (He asks himself, absently)

Firechild stands there, thinking, and SEmaj, getting freaked out says...

SB: OK man, just thought you should know.... ill see you at Mayhem, get my win back.

Firechild uncharacteristically doesn't respond to this, and Semaj leaves.

Under his breath, Firechild says...

FC: I'm gonna have words with that fruitcake, I've got too much going on to deal with his pointlessness..... thinks he's freaking Mordecai or something.......

The tape on the monitor had rewound and starts again....

LDW: I’ve earned my place, and no amount of talk from this Pyrobaby....

Firechild picks the monitor up and smashes it against the wall in a display of stunning and sudden violence.

FC: And I'm not done with you either, it's time to show some folks round here what it's like to BURN!!!!!

[mooseheadjack]

Seraph walks up to the GM's door and looks over the match list for the next Mid-Week mayhem. He sees his next match, smiles insidiously and walks away. Walking right past the pestering SFJ 223 along the way.

[mooseheadjack]

Firechild is walking about with a determined look on his face.... he looks up and sees the abandoned church looming, old, ethereal and somehow malevolent above the street....

FC: Guess this is the place....

He walks in, and down the nave, the sounds of rats in the cloisters and bats in the belfry filtering to him. He pauses in front of the alter, and composes himself, listening...

FC: Seraph.... I know you are here. Seeing as we are tagging at Mayhem, I think we should talk.

Silence from the old and atmospheric building.....

Firechild is unimpressed and walks up the north nave....

FC: Ohhhhh...really scary man, I'm so impressed, but stop it and come talk like a fucking man, and not some clown whos read too much Anne Rice.....

An ethereal voice echoes from above, it's source indistinguishable.....

S: As the sun rises, and the moon waxes, there is reason in all things. It may be indecipherable to such as you, pathetic creture, wroithing like a worm in the gut of a corpse, unaware of your own fate.....

Firechild has ascended the stairs to the north wing, and as he walks towards the front of the balcony he does a nice slow golf clap.

FC: Bravo, bravo, Sir Tim Rice would be so FUCKING proud..... Gaston Leroux spins in his grave. For fucks sake man, stop reading Brian Lumley and Poe before you go to bed at night, go out, meet some people, kiss a girl, touch a real live female titty but first and most importantly..... <SHOUTING> QUIT THIS ADOLESCENT CRAP <calms> and come out and speak to me like a man.

Now I don't care for you, and sure our paths might cross in future, but the job in hand is Midweek Mayhem and we are teaming and I want to be sure that you ain't gonna let the side down.

The voice starts again, quite clearly from behind the altar...Firechild makes his way back towards the stairs.....

S: You writhe and struggle for no purpose, a mere mote of dust caught in a passing ray of untruthful light. Inconsequential and as transient as the spider you crush under your shoe. You have no conception of what I am trying to, of what I SHALL acheive. Your place n the scheme of things is clear but you have no possible hope of comprehending it. You come to me in hope of converse, perhaps to find some clue as to your place, but you could not understand.....but you will.

A flash of lightning (OOC: If were gonna go for Gay Spooky, lets go for Gay Spooky) illuminates the hall and Seraph's profile illuminates the altar end of the nave...where he had expected Firechild to be.

Firechild leans round the pillar on the eastern balcony where Seraph had been sitting, throwing his voice, grabs him and spins him round, crashing him against the pillar, driving the air from his body......

FC: Well done son, full marks for presentation.
Now it seems that there is no point in trying to talk WITH you so I'm gonna talk AT you.
We are teaming at Mayhem, I want my winning record back, so we'd better win. Now I don't care what you do, so long as you don't get in my way. So whatever the FUCK you think you are trying to achieve, just make sure it doesn't interfere with beating those two.... remember this Seraph, or get burned.

He releases Seraph, who stands there, in utter silence looking inscrutable....

Firechild leaves the church and says to himself,

FC: One last house call, and this is gonna be interesting.....

Seraph watches him go and says...

S:...but you will.

And smiles.

[mooseheadjack]

[Seraph returns to the arena following the encounter with FC at the church and walks determinedly toward the first SFJ he can find. He grabs her microphone, and addresses the camera looking as if he’s about to let loose on someone in a fit of rage – and then he closes his eyes and becomes instantly tranquil. In a soft compassionate tone he address the camera with the following:]

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they shall be spared propitiation.

Blessed are those who bleed,
for the crimson shields their eyes from their helplessness
Blessed are those who suffer,
for their pain will be my strength
Blessed are those who know the language of violence,
for you will hear the words of truth.

Blessed are the ignorant,
for they do not yet understand why I Am.

But they will.

Semaj, Reynolds, and Firechild may Mid-Week Mayhem be the beginning of many blessings in your lives.

[With that he thanks the SFJ (he never got her number) returns the mic and walks calmly back to his dressing room]

[mooseheadjack]

(Camera follows Jack as he walks into Concrete's locker room where Crete is on his cell phone, Crete doesn't notice Jack as he is talking excitedly)

CTG.......no no NO! I said NEON green with liquid blue crystal trim stripes and electric Purple lettering all on a sunburst orange background........right, one shirt says Hurri-Crete, H-U-R-R yeah you got it, the other one says MOOSEY, no no, not mousey, MOOSE, you know like the big smelly animals with antlers? Yeah, live in Canada. Size? Well one is a X-L and the other, jeez how big is Moose? I guess make it a 4 or 5 X. Yeah, now about the Hurri-Car....

MHJ: AHEM!

CTG: Oh, hey, let me get back to you on that one, yeah, bye. Sup Moosey!

MHJ: <glares> Look, I will indulge this fantasy crap of yours so long as it doesn't interfere with us winning. The second it does, we do things MY way.

CTG: Have no fears good citizen....

MHJ: ENOUGH! For one second focus. We have Uncle Entity and Mercury this week, I don't want to lose to two rookies. I don't know much about Entity, my sources haven't gotten back to me yet, but I know Mercury is fond of throwing things in people's eyes.

CTG: The eyes of JUSTICE can NEVER be blinded by ......

MHJ: <Grabbing CTG by the shirt> DAMMNIT be serious for a minute, you better keep on your toes against these two. You better take them seriously, and you better kick some ass this week. This is not a joke.

CTG: <suddenly very serious> Look Jack, you got us into this, I will hold up my end of the deal. I can take care of my end of things, as long as you take care of yours, we are just fine. I told you before, I will not stoop to your level of violence.

MHJ: That's fine, you won't stoop to my level of violence....yet, that will change with time. Trust me.

CTG: The Citizens of the OOWF WILL NOT ALLOW thier beacon of shining light to be dimmed by the evil of bloodshed! Now OFF and AWAY WHOOOOSH <Concrete leaves the room leaving Jack standing alone shaking his head.>

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ#83 approached Capellan backstage.

"Capellan ... you're in a three way bout with Black Dragon and JW Westgaard this week." She began, not even stumbling too much over the words with more than one syllable, "Both these men are much higher than you in the OOWF rankings ... more than twenty places higher, in one case. Do you feel intimidated?"

Capellan laughed,

"Intimidated? Excited is more like it. These guys are veteran competitors who've shown they have what it takes in the ring. Going up against guys like this in my second match is a real thrill. I'm really looking forward -"

He belatedly noticed that SFJ#83 was no longer paying attention, her gaze locked on a point over his shoulder. Capellan began to turn, but it was too late -- the chair shot from Mercury blasted him in the back.

As the rookie tumbled backwards, Uncle Entity appeared from the other direction, pushing SFJ#83 aside and then hurling Capellan back toward his partner for another chair shot: this one to the head.

Capellan went down and Mercury and Entity began laying in with hard kicks to the body. The rookie tried to roll away, but Entity grabbed him and hauled him upright.

"Time to learn your place, boy." Mercury pulled out a bottle filled with silvery liquid and unscrewed the cap, "You won't be 'looking' forward to anything, soon." He raised the bottle, ready to throw the contents in Capellan's face -

- but Black Dragon kicked it straight out of his hand.

Following up with a forearm to Mercury's face, Dragon then grabbed his arm and whipped him into Capellan and Entity. All three tumbled to the ground, Capellan rolling free.

Entity and Mercury scrambled to their feet, glaring at Black Dragon, but he faced them both calmly, showing no sign of fear.

"You're lucky we have to save our strength for Jack and Concrete this week." Mercury warned Dragon, as he and Entity backed off. "Or we'd beat you down, too."

"Like you did last week?" Dragon raised an eyebrow.

After they left, Black Dragon offered Capellan his hand and hauled him to his feet, going nose to nose with the rookie,

"This is the only favor you're gonna get from me." He warned, "So don't expect any in our match. I'll be there to win."

Capellan grinned,

"Wouldn't have it any other way, dude. Wouldn't have it any other way."

[mooseheadjack]

Donovan Viper is WALKING~! backstage when he runs headfirst into FF Capslock & Stank.

S- Fat fucks?

FF- You do know that they were filming that little discussion, right champ?

DV- Listen bitches, if I hurt your feelings, I don't give a shit, now get out of my way lest I I'm gay you.

S- 'fraid we can't do that Donnie. See, we got a match with your...uh...let's see what should I call them?

FF- Ass licking toadies?

S- Right, your ass licking toadies and your former...um...former...

FF- Gay sex partners

S- Yes, your former gay sex partners so we wanted to see a message to all of 'em, and I'll be damned if you aren't the link between the four.

FF- Plus we don't like you anyway.

DV- Right, well you need to understand this: I am the World Fucking Champion. If you mess with me you get fucked up by me.

FF- Really? I haven't seen you actually lay a finger on anyone since you got those ass licking toadies of yours. Including your opponants. I'm starting to think just about anyone could be the World Champion if they distract Harper and Tommy with, I dunno, a shiney quarter or something.

DV- That's bullshit and you know it. I am the greatest wrestler in the OOWF. I am the most dominant man in the history of wrestling. I am...

S- ...stalling until Tommy and Harper get here?

DV- Pretty much. And speak of the Devil's...Brigade.

Tommy O'Neil and Harper Camby run in to attack FF and Stank but are met with brilliant counter attacks never thought possible by such big men. Boot from Stank. Powerslam from FF Capslock. They start punching Tommy and Harper on the ground until FF is bludgeoned in the back of the head by the World Championship belt. Stank gets up to fight Viper but he is held back by Tommy and Harper. Viper hits the Belt Assisted Death Elbow to Stank's face.

DV- Pick that other fatass up!

They pick Capslock up and hold his arms for Viper to hit him as well, but as soon as Viper gets near Capslock catches him in the face with a a big kick. Tommy and Harper beat him down until Viper gets back up. He has Harper and Tommy lift Capslock and place him onto Viper to allow him to hit the Sidewinder on the concrete! They walk off, satisfyed with their work.

Capslock and Stank start to move slightly.

S- ...uh...Viper's a little bitch, man.

FF- No...Donovan Viper...is a homo.

[mooseheadjack]

(Moose is packing up his gear when he hears a commotion in the hallway - mostly crashes, swearing, threats and chaos)

MHJ: Now what? (heads for the door, half-upset that there's chaos outside and half-upset he didn't cause it)

(as he opens the door, a roadcase, three SFJs and some jobbers tumble past)

Moose: WTF?

(Before he can start asking questions, a blur of neon purples and blues flashes past him, a horn blaring "CHARGE~!"

Moose: (growls) Has this place gone crazy?

??: CITIZEN JACK!

Moose: (groan)

(the vehicle backs up to Moose's door. Sure enough, it's a dune buggy painted in 70s style metal-flake red and purple, with a Category 5 hurricane flag on the antenna and a "Hurri-Crete" logo on the hood)

CTG: BEHOLD! THE MIGHTY HURRI-BUGGY!

MHJ: oh Hell no......

CTG: Why Moosey, you seem distressed at my FOUR WHEELS OF JUSTICE?

MHJ: (goes back in the locker room and slams the door)

CTG: holy harshness, I fear Moosey does not approve. (shrugs) The Rick will have to worry more about me running over someone important. (Stands up in the seat) JOBBERS BEWARE~!! THE POWER OF HURRI-CRETE AND THE FURY OF MOOSEY WILL DEMOLISH ALL IN OUR PATH!

(CTG flops back in the seat and continues to drive around backstage)

CTG: YEEEEEEEEEEEHA~!!!

[mooseheadjack]

Mercury and Uncle Entity walk off from beating on Capellan, Concrete TG and Moosehead Jack fly past.

UE - "These are the men who control the OOWF?"
MRC - "Easy pickins at the PPV"
UE - "Whats with you and that Mexican kid?"
MRC - "hes an idiot. Hes flippin around one week, blindsides me. its bull."
UE - "whatever. You got my back this week?"
MRC - "You know it. We are going to kick any tag teams ass that throw our way."

[mooseheadjack]

As Capellan exits the ring, BD grabs a mic.

BD: Next week, I once again prove why I should be the next man to take on Johnny Appleseed for his most prized possession. The prestige of the IC title has fallen quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some Canadian Dragon like mission of single handedly believing I can restore that prestige. It takes time and quality matches. Something Johnny hasn't been part of in quite some time. Anyone can get counted out or DQ'ed. But it takes a real competitor, with real heart to win it on his own. To stand face to face and go toe-to-toe with some of the greatest talent to ever step foot inside this squared circle. And I have shown everyone that I will not stoop to blatant cheating even when my partner was smashing people in the face with cinder blocks.

No disrespect to the two men that will step in the ring with me at Midweek Mayhem. But when all is said and done, I will have my hand raised in victory and I will show our revered GM that I deserve a fair shot at the IC strap. I don't care if I have to win triple threat matches, cage matches, or bra and panties on a pole matches. And I don't give a damn who gets in my way. So if LD Williams or Revolution XX have any thoughts of jumping me, don't wait until I leave this ring. I invite you to do your worse right now. But I will get back up. And I will get my shot eventually. When all is said and done, Johnny will be a former 2 time Intercontinental Champion.

[mooseheadjack]

Firechild is walking backstage. He suddenly stops. The camera pans over to see Ax-man is in front of him.

Ax: Well, well. If it isn't the OOWF's favorite pyromaniac. You seem to be spouting off your mouth about the tag team champions on a daily basis.

FC: You and Cole are a bunch of posers.

(From behind Cole levels Firechild with a viscious clothesline. Both Cole and Ax start stoming away on Firechild.)

Cole: You like to run your mouth and set us on fire BITCH. (kick to gut) Break his legs Ax.

-Ax puts FC in the figure four leg lock. Cole pulls a pair of cuffs from his pockets and wraps his fist with it and continually pounds Firechild's head until he is wearing a crimson mask. Ax realses the hold and Cole lifts FC up for The Headliner onto the concrete floor. 3Piece Set then leave FC lyning motionless on the concrete floor. Moments later EMTS rush onto the scene.

End Scene.

[mooseheadjack]

[Black Dragon is walking down the hallway after cutting his promo, when out of a door pops Intercontinental Champion Johnny Adrenaline, with his coveted IC Title belt on his shoulder. Johnny steps out into the hall and the two men look face to face.]

JA: What's up, Black Dragon?

BD: Oh, if it isn't Johnny Adrenaline...

JA: I hear you want to take this [slaps title] from me. At least that's what you were saying out there in the ring. That's what Ross was yapping about the other night. That's what the "buzz" is around here. Funny thing is, nobody ever came to me and said, "Johnny, Johnny, run and hide, Black Dragon's gonna take your title!" Cause one, even if they did, I wouldn't even flinch, and two, you're not even man enough to come run me down, and tell me to my face, like a REAL MAN, that you want my title. So here we are, go ahead, tell me.

BD: I said it in the ring, and I'll say it to your face, I'll say it to the endless supply of Sexy Female Journalists, I'll say it to The Rick, I'll say it to Matt Lauer if NBC wants an interview: I should be the next man to take on you for your most prized possession. The prestige of the IC title has fallen quite a bit. It takes time and quality matches. Something you haven't been part of in quite some time, Johnny. Anyone can get counted out or DQ'ed. But it takes a real competitor, with real heart to win it on his own. To stand face to face and go toe-to-toe with some of the greatest talent to ever step foot inside this squared circle. But I will get my shot eventually. When all is said and done, you will be a former 2 time Intercontinental Champion.

JA: Oh, is that a fact? And what makes you different than everyone else? Look at the guys I've run thru to win and keep this title, YOUR buddies, Concrete, Beast, Semaj, Attitude Adjuster, those are YOUR friends, and I've beaten them all. Why don't you just change the name of your little faction from A-Y-U-F-F to J-A-L-B-P: Johnny Adrenaline's Little Bitch Parade

[Black Dragon goes to throw a punch, but stops when L.D. Williams steps out from the locker room.]

BD: How bout that? Just like it always is...

[Rather than risk a two on one beatdown, Black Dragon turns and walks back the other way, as the heels give him the stink eye.]

[mooseheadjack]

* AA is WALKING~! (I always wanted to do that) down the hallway. He passes the Hurri-crete and Moosey door, stops, sneers and moves on. The sign on the next door reads “The Establishment: Established in 2004.” He walks in to find Niles alone watching tapes of his matches against Beast. *

AA watches the video of Niles defeating Beast with the Arm Breaker at last week’s Midweek Mayhem. Niles finally notices AA, turns and stands up in AA’s face.

NA: What do you want?!

AA: Dude, calm, man, calm. I come bearing gifts, not to bury you.

NA: I don’t see anything in your hands. Are you hiding a car muffler behind your back? And I don’t want any singing Donnie Viper-wannabe quartet either!

AA: Better than that, man, better than that. I’ve come to offer my services to you, and you to offer your services to me.

NA: Man, that's not the way I roll. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

AA: No, no, no. Look, we have a couple things in common. We both deserve gold around our waists and are getting screwed in what we deserve. And two, we have so-called leaders parading around in superhero costumes and clown cars, thinking they’re some kind of 60s Batman remake.

NA: Hey, Batman was cool. Remember “BONK!!, VRAMMM!! BIFFFF!” But those henchmen always sucked. and how come the Penguin never actually fought anyone? Catwoman was hot. Stupid though…how come she never figured out Bruce Wayne was Bat…

AA: Whatever. Look, focus for a second. Here’s the deal. You and I start watching each other’s backs. It’s obvious that Morte and Endo are useless to you at this point, and Semaj, Thim and the Dragons may as well be jobbers. And Beast, well we both have issues with Beast. In fact, that could be our first point on the AA/NA agenda.

NA: You mean NA/AA.

AA: Yeah, that’s what I said. I can see it in lights: “Attitude Adjuster/Niles Anderson: The Golden Boys.”

NA: I’m thinking “Niles Anderson/Attitude Adjuster: Anti-Establishment.”

AA: “Attitude Adjuster/Niles Anderson: Equals Ratings.”

NA: “Niles Anderson/Attitude Adjuster: Pure Males.”

AA: “Attitude Adjuster/Niles Anderson”

NA: “Niles Anderson/Attitude Adjuster”

The two stare each other down and this hard-fought relationship might crumble before it even starts.

AA: Look, let’s not squabble over small details. First things first. Beast has a Loser Leaves Town match with Smark. Now wouldn’t it be cool if somehow Beast LOST that match? I have a few ideas, but we need to get this cameraman out of here first. Beast may not be smart, but he’s isn’t dumb.

NA: Got it. Watch this.

NA walks over the camera.

Cameraman: Hey, wait, no, don’t!

AA: Stee-DT on the cameraman!!!! Cool!!!

NA: Now we can talk.

Niles kicks the camera for good measure, and we lose the video signal.

[mooseheadjack]

[Cameras cut to where Revolution XX is playing monopoly. They are having a good time when in walks Sexy Female Journalist 747.]

SFJ1: "Sexy Female Journalist 747 here with Revolution XX and may I ask who is Mr. Revolution and who is Mr. XX?"

[Coolname and O'Mac stop arguing over who gets to be the shoe and stand up. Coolname stands next to SFJ747 but O'Mac pushes him out of the way. The two shove before finally getting on both sides of her.]

Coolname: "OH YEAH!! I'm Mr. Revolution and we are the future of this company."

SJ747: "So up till now you seem to be dominating your matches. How do you prepare for the likes of 3 Piece Set?"

O'Mac: "Well sexy lady, we have prepared one way! Get em Carl!"

[Coolname pulls out 2 cardboard cutouts of 3 Piece Set. He hands one to Eric and they put the cutouts in front of them. There is a hole where the mouths would be and they start talking.]

Coolname as Cole: "LISTEN UP LADY! WE ARE 3 PIECE SET! NOBODY CAN BEAT US EXCEPT OUR MAMMAS AND THEY ARE IN MASSACHUSETTS!"

O'Mac as Ax: "CHOP CHOP I'M AN AX"

[The two start to crack up.]

Coolname: "As you can see we have prepared wisely."

O'Mac: "Yeah"

[The two quickly get serious faces on their face and take the mic and shove SFJ747 out.]

Coolname: "Up till now we have had no problem with our competition. Nobody has proven they can stand toe to toe with us. Yes we have had interference but we never asked for it. Tonight, the fun is over and the games end! We do not take 3 Piece Set lightly. We have prepared since our victory in the tournament. We have watched tapes, we have scouted every move that they have. Hell we have new moves we have been saving for this very occasion. Tonight, Revolution XX takes care of buisness and become the Tag Team Champions!"

[Coolname throws the cameraman out and O'Mac shuts the door.]

[mooseheadjack]

Gimmickman was in back, lacing his shoes, when a shadow fell over him. He glanced up to find Capellan lingering at the locker room door.

"Whaddya want, kid?"

"I, uh, had a favor to ask."

Gimmickman grunted,

"Figure I owe you for that run-in on Mercury, do ya? Looking for some payback?"

"Uh ... kinda, I guess."

Gimmickman's eyes narrowed. He pulled his laces tight and cracked his knuckles, staring hard at the upstart rookie.

"So what is it you think you got a right to ask?"

Capellan grinned and produced a notepad and a pen.

"Could I get your autograph? Honest, I wouldn't normally ask ... but my sister's a big fan ..."

[mooseheadjack]

Gimmickman was in back, lacing his shoes, when another shadow fell over him. He glanced up to find Underdawg lingering at the locker room door.

GM: Underdawg... What are you doing here?

UD: I just wanted to wish you.... luck.... on the upcoming match.

GM: I don't understand the match myself. The winner of the match has to wait until 4 weeks to take on Viper? If I won, I'd want to take him on now. I want my shot at the championship now.

UD: Indeed. As do I. The grand stage means nothing to me. It's my yard, and I want Viper one on one in my yard, no matter if it's free on TV or if it's $39.99 on Pay Per View. Teaching Viper the lesson of all lessons is more important to me than the championship.

GM: Oh, your old running buddy is one big punk. I don't know what you saw in him anyway. But it doesn't matter if it's a big punk, a man I respect, or even a big hairy dead dog. I want the OOWF Championship. I just want to know one thing.

UD: ?

GM: In this coming match, with you, Niles Anderson, and Microplay... How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you're not going to go back to your old backstabbing ways with the Ministry?

UD: Trust me? Does it matter if you can trust me? It's one on one. I don't need to stab you in the back, when I'm hitting you from the front. The only person you need to and should trust in this match is yourself.

GM: (looks down) Hmm... he's right. (rises head) hey, good lu....

a cloud of smoke now appears where Underdawg stood.

GM: Spooky bastard...

[mooseheadjack]

Johnny Adrenaline and L.D. Williams are leaning on the wall outside the locker room when Eric O Mac and Carl Coolname roll/bounce up on a skateboard/pogo stick. Eric steps off the board and leans against the wall while Carl continues to bounce in front of the group.

CC: “Hey, did you guys he…”

Johnny holds up a hand to silence him. L.D. reaches out and casually pushes Carl against the wall beside him as a blur of neon purple and blue thunders past.

CTG: “YEEEEEEEEEEEHA~!!!”

Williams walks to the nearby intersection of two corridors and places a polished nickel on the floor. As he walks back a Sexy Female Journalist walks by the nickel and stops.

SFJ: “Oooooooohh, Shiny!”

JA: “You were saying, Carl?”

CC: “Have you guys heard? Attitude Adjuster has teamed up with Niles.”

EOM: “Last we saw, they were arguing over a team name.”

LD: “How about Brain-Damaged?”

JA: “Chico and the Idiot?”

LD: “Raiders of the lost Brain Cell?”

EOM: “Apparently you’re not too concerned."

LD: “Apparently.”

Johnny is watching the intersection and counting.

JA: “Seven, eight, nine. We’re one short.”

LD: “Just a sec…”

Williams walks across the hall and looks into the catering room. He whistles.

LD: “Hey, #483, I think there’s something shiny out here.”

SFJ #483 wanders out into the hall and joins the group milling about the nickel.

CC: “What are you…”

Johnny holds up a hand again.

JA: “Wait for it…wait for it…”

CTG: “YEEEEEEEEEEEHA~!!!”

The neon blur blasts through the intersection, scattering SFJ’s. Nine are knocked down, and one is stumbling.

LD: “C’mon…c’mon…”

SFJ #483 falls.

LD: “Steeeeee-riiiiiiike!!!”

Williams holds out a hand. Johnny hands him a $100 bill

LD: “Some days, I love being a heel.”

JA: “Double or Nothing?”

LD: “Sure”

All four wander down the hall. As they pass the intersection, Williams stoops to pick up the nickel.

[mooseheadjack]

<MHJ is in one of the darkened OOWF rooms>

Opportunity presents itself only so often. If you don't take that opportunity it may well dissapear forever. For example, I see an opportunity to dominate like no otherteam has dominated in OOWF history. Once Concrete gets it through his skull that he is not a superhero and gets serious, we will destroy all those in front of us. The same opportunity is given to Niles Anderson, Niles, I hope you understand what those simpletons UnderDawg and GimmickMan can not seem to comprehend. See, it is natural for them to want their match with Donovan Viper right away, they are impatient fools and their impatience will cost them in the end. It's real simple Niles, you win the contender match. Sure, you have to wait three weeks until you get Viper, but during that three weeks, Donnie is going through hell. He has to face three guys who will do everything they can to take that title. If he survives, then you step in, and you win the belt. The last man waits the longest, but gains the biggest advantage.

Speaking of Niles, I hear whispers that you are in league with Attitude Adjuster. You are a big boy, and your business is yours. I just caution you, as you cautioned me, be careful with whom you cast your fate with.

(just then there is the sound of a vehicle sputtering to a stop outside the door, Jack walks over to the door and opens it, there sits Concrete in the Hurri-Car, it is apparantly out of gas)

MHJ: You done?
CTG: I think so
MHJ: This all out of your system?
CTG: For now.
MHJ: Think we can focus on beating the snot out of Uncle ENtity and Mercury now?
CTG: Who?
MHJ: Our opponents this week, DAMN IT CONCRETE I....
CTG: Just messing with ya, damn. Yeah Uncle Entity and Mercury, I got it. Trust me.

(Concrete gets out of the car and walks away leaving Moose standing there glaring at Crete)

[mooseheadjack]

*We pick up as Fievel is following the mysterious stranger, a man who, last week, befriended the #1 CUTE LITTLE GUY IN THE OOWF!*



Fievel: Really? Hardbody Harris is in this room? I can't wait to see him; I've missed him so so much!

Mysterious stranger (off-camera): Yes, he's right begind this door. Let me just open it up, and yo...OUR friend will be ever so glad to see you!



Fievel: OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! Me and Hardbody are gonna talk and joke and play and make sandwiches and watch TV and fold laundry and practice baseball and all sorts of neat stuff! YAY!

*Fievel walks in and the door slams shut.*

HEY! Who turned out the lights?

Mysterious Stranger: Ha ha ha ha!



*The laughing continues as we fade out*

[mooseheadjack]

Semaj IS TALKING~! on mobile, as usual, while walking through the parking structure.

SB: Mate where, the bloody 'ell, are you?...Right, well listen we've got...Right so you know, well don't take FireChild lightly, 'e beat me last week didn't 'e?...He's new, but I think 'e's got the right stuff and 'e's a stand-up bloke. Seraph though, 'o knows whot's wrong with that freak. Clearly, 'e's more than bit daft...Right, well I'll see you at the arena, in fact get there a bit early, I've got an idea...

[mooseheadjack]

[Fresh off losing $400 to L.D. Williams in SFJ Bowling, Johnny Adrenaline is SINGING~! in the hallway, with his Intercontinental Title on his shoulder as always, making his way toward the GM's office.]

JA: [singing] Hold on to the nights... Hold on to the memories... I wish that I could give you something more... That I could be yours...

[Johnny finds The Rick's door wide open and waltzes right in. The Rick, for once, is not watching baseball, rather examining a few bottles of whiskey sitting on his desk.]

The Rick: Did I say you could come in?

JA: Well, the door was open, so I just...

The Rick: You just nothin', Johnny. And for God's sake, would you cut out the lame ass singing? Richard Marx sucks, didn't you read OO this week?

JA: Huh?

The Rick: Never mind. Look, actually, I'm kinda glad you're here.

JA: Well, good, cause I have something I need to get off my chest.

The Rick: Stop right there. Let me guess: you're gonna whine and bitch about being booked into a bullrope match this week.

JA: No, actually I'm gonna... what? How'd you know?

The Rick: Johnny, it's the same thing from you every week. Some guys come out at the beginning of the show and talk for twenty minutes. Some guys come out and lamely pander to the crowd, grasping for any kind of support whatsoever. Some guys whine and complain about anything that isn't to their liking. You're one of those guys.

JA: Well, look. I'm a two-time Intercontinental Champion. This title is synonymous with the name "Johnny Adrenaline." Yet, every week, it's something new. I mean, a bullrope match? Vander had his shot and he couldn't get the job done. So why a rematch? Are you just gonna give everyone a rematch until someone finally beats me? I guess I'm gonna get worn out sooner or later, right? I thought that having me as your Intercontinental Champion was good for business.

The Rick: The only good thing about you having that title, Johnny... is that you won't hold it forever.

JA: Oh, really...

The Rick: Yeah, really. You're gonna lose it eventually. It seems to me as if you're ruffling a lot of feathers around here, and one of these guys is gonna beat you. You won't be able to cheat and conive your way thru every title match forever.

JA: Oh, so you have a problem with the way I hold onto this title? Hey, being the Intercontinental Champion makes me the number one contender to Donnie Viper's World Title. So I'm gonna hold onto it by any means necessary. Now I'm not asking you for a title shot; hell, I don't think you can find a finer champ than the one we have representing our company now. But I've never even been offered one. Been IC Champ for how long?

The Rick: [takes swig of whiskey] Are you done with the windbaggery yet?

JA: Look, The Rick, if you're the boss around here, and you don't want me wearing this title, why don't you just strip me of it?

The Rick: Well, what would be the fun in that? Let me tell ya, Johnny, as pathetic as a champion you are, it's gonna be one hell of a moment when you lose that title. The place, wherever we are, will go nuts. And ya know, I think I'm gonna be right there to see it when it happens.

JA: [loosens up] You're gonna be there? What are you gonna do, screw me out of the title? I've never had any problem with you, but if you keep this crap up, I will have a problem.

[Johnny grabs a bottle off the desk and goes to take a drink. The Rick stops him halfway.]

The Rick: And if you touch your lips to that bottle, you're gonna have another problem.

[Johnny sets the bottle down and smugly walks off.]

[Edited on 4-30-2005 by TarheelMike]

[mooseheadjack]

*Lil Jon's "What you gon' do" comes blaring out of the loudspeaker as "The Specimen" Niles Anderson approaches the ring. He grabs a mic and commands the respect of all the booing fans.*

Niles - Patience is a virtue, bestowed only to some. I've got my #1 Contender spot. I'm guarenteed a shot whether it be tomorrow or next month. Whether I fight Donnie Viper or whatever other wanker who takes the belt of this posers waist between now and when I take my shot. I'll step in the ring and I'll do what I do best. I may not be undefeated in singles competition anymore, but I still have yet to be pinned 1-2-3. Not only that, but I am the only man to have ever powerbombed Chris Alt. I've beaten former champions. I've established myself as one of the major players in the Establishment. You can't ignore these facts.

*he stops as a series of "Niles Sucks" chants break out. He just laughs it off.*

Niles - think what you want, I didn't get where I am today by chance. I was the most promising prospect the OOWF had ever seen. And now we see why. I am IN the main event. Love me or hate me, you can't ignore me. I'm here to stay.

*boos blare out at this point.*

Niles - See, now it's time to show everybody what it means to be 100PM. Microplay, Gimmickman and ESPECIALLY Underdawg, you're stepping in the ring with someone who didn't get his shot by chance. I fought through 3 other people in a CAGE to get here. And now I have to fight through 3 more people to find out when I get my shot. And I'm GOING to win. It doesn't matter who I fight for the title, or when I get my shot. All this match is accomplishing is rubberstamping a date for when the Era of The Specimen begins.

*Niles drops the mic as his music starts blaring again. Fade to Black.*