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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 11:44:04 GMT -5
Emergency meeting of the Chevy Chase, MD city council
An emergency meeting of the Chevy Chase, MD city council is called. Inside the council chambers, the board is about to vote on an emergency regulation.
Mayor: As you may already know, a renegade wrestling association known as the Online Onslaught Wrestling Federation has decided to have a show here in Chevy Chase. I heard of their vile and reckless destruction of neighboring town’s parking structures, and we NEED TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING IN OUR TOWN! Therefore, I call for a swift and unified vote of the following regulation:
“On May 11, 2005, the council of Chevy Chase, Md has deemed a felony offense punishable of no less than a $5,000 fine or 30 days in county jail for the following offenses should they occur within the confines of a parking structure within the city limits of Chevy Chase, MD:
Physical abuse upon another person, which may include but is not limited to brawling, fighting, eye poking, hair pulling, Steed-Dting, Clawholding, Cement Mixering, Death Elbowing (with or without an assisted chain), Heart Punching, Adrenaline Rushing, Pushing Women off Ladders into Tables-ing, Dragonsaulting, Deal Breakering, Rocket Launching at Helicopters-ing, Ice Augering, DDTing, Setting People of Fire-ing, Reflex-o-Locking, Spartan Plunging, Spirit of Fresno-ing, Left Hooking, Dominatoring, Lead Poisoning, CrocHuntering, Omen Drivering, Live and Let Die-ing, Spinal Contusioning, Strankonia-ing, D-Tunering, Propitiationing and, most especially, The Chomping.
Abuse upon vehicles, which may include all of the above plus: body slamming or head slamming into, or the general abuse of, windshields, windows, doors, hoods, roofs, trunks, sunroofs, engines, dashboards, fenders, headlights, grills, radiators, cylinders, oil pans, tailpipes and Catalytic Converters.
Abuse upon inanimate objects, which may include steel pipes, boiler rooms, concrete pillars, randomly placed empty boxes, Sexy Female Journalists, toll booths, parking meters, sandwich shops, Randy Orton, concession stands, grocery carts, travel trunks, suitcases, power saws, championship belts, forklifts, golf clubs, vials of mercury and bottles of The Rick’s whiskey.”
All in favor, say Aye.
Council: Aye.
Mayor: It is passed. We shall not have our city destroyed by the OOWF. Townfolk, feel safe to venture forth in our beautiful town, knowing that the OOWF will not defile us this week.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 11:46:02 GMT -5
MidWeek Mayhem! Live From the National Lampoon’s Sports Arena and Weekend Update Museum in beautiful Chevy Chase, Maryland! Ross: Welcome to OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, I am Ross, and my partner tonight is Razz! Razz: Great to be here tonight Ross, we got a great show tonight! So good, in fact, that we should just skip the intro and head to the ring! Ross: I am all for that, in our first match Mark Vander and Semaj B are paired up in what promises to be a classic. Razz: Should be a great match, between two outstanding competitors!
MARK VANDER vs. SEMAJ B They start out with a couple collar and elbow tie-ups but neither gains advantage. ON the third, Semaj whips Vander into the ropes, drops down, Vander over the top, criss-cross, Vander down, Semaj over the top, Vander tries a leaping leg clothesline that Semaj ducks, Semaj looks for the arm drag but Vander sees it coming and takes the step back. Both eye each other in the center of the ring to a nice round of applause. Semaj takes advantage the next tie-up, arm drag and begins to work on the arm and head. Vicious European uppercuts to the head leads to a whip and a big knee to the gut! Whip into the corner, and now Semaj is going to the top rope! Rare move for the Brit, but he has Vander locked in for LICENSE TO KILL! Top rope neck breaker! Man, Semaj may have victory here. Ref in position for the count. 1, 2, NO, Vander gets the shoulder up. Way to put over a finishing move, Vander. Semaj continues to hammer away, but Vander is resilient, and by the 15 minute mark Vander is mounting a comeback. Vander’s speed is countering Semaj’s technical expertise, and when Vander connects with a killer leg lariat Semaj is propelled out of the ring. Vander leaps to the top rope, flies off with an insanely high body block, and it sends both men over the crowd barrier! This could be a double count out and no one would fault either wrestler. The fans around the two are giving them a standing ovation for their efforts, but both are struggling to get to their feet. Semaj looks the better of the two despite taking the body block. Vander appears to hurt his knee while flying into the crowd. Semaj crawls over the barrier, pulls Vander in with him, kicks Vander in the knee and rolls him back in the ring. Vander is definitely on one wheel and Semaj continues to work on it, even applying the Spinning Toehold. Vander won’t tap, but Semaj has him at his mercy and eventually locks in the OCTOPUSSY in the middle of the ring! Vander has nowhere to go, and can’t reach the ropes for the break. Finally Vander works himself around a bit and is able to roll Semaj over, Semaj’s shoulders are down, Vander holds on to Semaj’s arms and bridges slightly and gets the three count just as Semaj is rolling his shoulder. WINNER in 12:33 Mark Vander Ross: Well that was certainly all I had hoped for Razz, a great match between two great competitors. Razz: OOWF action at its finest! Semaj is so close to breaking through, he needs to just keep his focus on what he is doing, have some patience and the wins will come. Ross: As for Vander, I think he is one of the top contenders to the Intercontinental title, and if he so desired, I think he could take the title from Donovan Viper as well. Razz: No doubt about that! Up next we have two guys who just flat out do not like each other in the least. Ross: Usually I reserve using the word hate, but in this case, I think that is the most appropriate word to describe these two, they just plain and simple HATE each other. Razz: They will go to great lengths to hurt each other, I wouldn’t want to be in either of their shoes, but I damn sure enjoy watching these two try and kill each other.
LD WILLIAMS vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTERIn what seems to be match #349114 in their rivalry, AA and LD trade pleasantries in the middle of the ring to open things up. They seem to agree to fight fairly this evening, then lockup. Neither man can gain an advantage, and LD forces AA back into a corner, and surprisingly, we get a clean break. Another lockup, and this time its AA who backs LD into a corner. This time, AA feigns a cheap shot, but we get another clean break. LD swoops in with a fireman's carry takeover, but AA grabs a leg on the way down and rolls LD up for a quick one count. LD counters immediately by hooking a modified half nelson, and AA somehow manages a head scissors, and LD grabs the ropes to break. Some more chain wrestling sees AA gain a slight edge, and finally LD rolls out to take a breather. LD takes his time getting back in, but when he does, AA goes right back at him, this time with a waist lock takedown, but LD elbows out before AA can follow up. LD sends AA to the ropes with an Irish Whip, and hits a backdrop. Then a hip toss, and AA thinks twice about going back for more, and this time it's AA who rolls out for a timeout. LD makes the mistake of coming over on offense, and AA trips him up and drags him out. Some right hands from AA put LD to the floor, and AA stomps away. AA climbs the apron and hits a double axe handle and stops to pose to his adoring fans...all five of them. This allows LD to regain his senses and attack from behind. He rolls AA back in and goes on offense. Stiff Irish Whips to alternating turnbuckles and LD takes AA down with a big clothesline. LD grabs a surfboard to work on AA's neck and back, obviously setting up for the STF. LD voluntarily breaks it, and sets up for a backbreaker, but AA hip tosses out of that and drops down with a cross-arm breaker, and LD squirms to the ropes. AA stays on the arm with a hammerlock slam, then a single-arm DDT, getting a two count. AA culminates this rally by nearly taking LD's head off with a wicked short arm clothesline, drawing several "ooohs" from the crowd. AA locks on a full nelson, to which LD responds to by kicking backwards in the general vicinity of AA's groin. AA falls to the mat and the referee goes over and hands LD $1000 of Chris Masters' money. Oh, no he doesn't; he's warning him about the low blow. Never mind. LD sets AA hard on the top turnbuckle and nails a superplex. LD covers and gets a long two. LD follows with a German suplex, and tries a second one, but AA fights it and backs LD into a corner. The referee tries for a break, and this time AA sneaks in a low blow. Payback's a bitch, LD. Now the referee warns AA, who has none of it and puts the claw on LD. LD grabs the ropes again, and we get another break. AA comes back in again, and LD answers this time with a kick to the gut. LD looks for the DDT, but AA gets an inside cradle. One...two...but LD pushes off the turnbuckle and rolls AA onto his back. LD puts his feet on the ropes, one...two...but AA still manages to roll thru and reverse. AA grabs a handful of tights, one...two... and LD reverses AGAIN. This time, LD uses the ropes AND the tights. One...two...three... and LD steals the win. Winner in 13:12: L.D. Williams Ross: I could say that I am shocked that either of these men tried to cheat to get the win, but quite honestly, I’m not. Razz: No I gotta say I am not surprised that the winner was the one who managed to cheat just a little better than his opponent, but this match didn’t settle a thing between these two. Ross: No a damn thing, I gotta think you could put these two in a cage match and it wouldn’t settle anything, nothing will be settled until one man is gone from the OOWF. Razz: I used to think that is how our next competitors felt about each other, boy Ross remember the wars between the Dragons and Morte and LI? Those were some of the most brutal tag matches I have ever seen Ross: I remember them well Razz, I will probably never forget them. LI is still recovering from a horrific knee injury and the two teams have since moved on to other things. I honestly believe that the wars they went through burned out two of the greatest teams in OOWF history, had they not tried so damn hard to kill each other, I think one, or both of them could still be around today. Razz: Well let’s see if this match rekindles some of that hostility!
BLACKDRAGON vs. MORTEBlackdragon has been on a role here as of late, while Morte seems to still be making the transition from tag team wrestling to singles competition. These two are certainly no strangers to each other, having faced each other numerous times in tag team action. The two circle each other in the center of the ring, each one feigning the initial strike, and each one striking different martial arts poses and stances. Finally Morte feigns one too many times and Blackdragon shoots in and takes Morte down with a double leg take down. Both men spring back to their feet, and Morte tries a spin kick, BD easily ducks and grabs Morte and hits a sit down choke slam. Before BD can even attempt a cover, Morte rolls out of the way and hits a kip up back to his feet. BD charges for a clothesline, but Morte ducks it with a matrix move. BD bounds off the far ropes and Morte grabs him and sends him to the opposite ropes, when BD comes off the rebound, Morte tries a super kick, BD ducks again, hits the ropes one more time and nearly takes Morte out of his boots with a spear. Morte rolls out of the ring; Blackdragon hits the far ropes and hits a plancha to the outside that takes Morte to the floor. Dragon grabs Morte and shoots him back into the ring. Dragon waits on the apron as Morte gets back to his feet, as Morte gets up, Blackdragon springboards back into the ring and kills Morte with a clothesline. Dragon goes for the cover and gets a two count. Dragon is on his feet first, he pulls Morte up to his feet, BD scoops Morte for a body slam, Morte slips over BD’s shoulder, lands on his feet, spins BD around, kicks him low and hits a pile driver. Black dragon’s neck twists dangerously on impact, and it looks like Dragon is out. Morte pulls BD to the middle of the ring and climbs the ropes; Morte then lands a perfect split leg moon Sault and gets a two count. BD rolls his shoulders just before the ref makes the three count, Morte is getting frustrated. Morte spends the next several minutes working on Dragon’s neck trying to soften him up enough to get the pin. Morte nearly ends the match when he catches Blackdragon on the top rope and hits him with a top rope Death Valley Driver. Morte actually got the three count, but the ref reversed his decision when he noticed that Blackdragon had his foot on the ropes. With the match restarted, it seemed to give Blackdragon a second wind. Morte hits BD with a spine buster and climbs the ropes for a guillotine leg drop, BD moves out of the way, grabs Morte’s leg and locks on a STF. Morte fights and refuses to give up, finally making it to the ropes forcing the break. Blackdragon gets to his feet; Morte gets up a little more slowly, favoring his knee. Blackdragon notices this and moves in for the kill. Dragon shoots in trying to grab the leg, Morte is doing all he can to avoid it. Dragon grabs Morte foe a slam, Morte escapes, lands, tries another spin kick, Dragon ducks, as he ducks he grabs Morte’s injured leg and gets back to his feet, before Morte can escape, Dragon takes him to the mat with a dragon screw leg whip. As soon as Morte hits the mat, Blackdragon locks the leg, then pulls Morte back into a cross face. Now with pressure on his knee, back and neck, Morte is in real trouble. Morte is slowly pulling himself toward the ropes, Dragon is putting even more torque on the hold, as Morte is just about to reach the ropes, Dragon jerks Morte’s upper torso violently to one side, pulling him away from the ropes and adding even more pressure to his body. Finally Morte can take no more and is forced to tap. WINNER in 27:11 Blackdragon After the match the lights go out, the arena sits in darkness for a moment, then the arena fills with a strange bluish green light, sinister laughter fills the arena and SoulDragon’s image appears on the screen. Not being stupid, Blackdragon backs into a corner and waits for the inevitable attack. Instead the sinister laughing stops, and an evil voice whispers, “I’ll be back” The arena goes dark, and a few seconds later the lights come back on, Morte is slumped on one corner, Blackdragon is in the other. Blackdragon leaves the ring; Morte slowly gets to his feet. As Blackdragon gets about halfway up the ramp Mercury and Uncle Entity rush out and attack. They knock Dragon to the ramp and are trying to get him in position for a spike pile driver, when Morte rushes up the ramp with a chair and slams it across Mercury’s back and takes a mighty swing at Entity’s head, just narrowly missing his mark. Entity and Mercury scurry off. Dragon stands up and looks at Morte, the two kind of nod at each other and walk off in opposite directions. Ross: What do you make of that Razz? Why would Morte go out of his way to save Blackdragon? Razz: All I can think of is a mutual respect kind of thing, both men are amazing competitors and Morte took Dragon to the limit. If you face someone enough, you may never like them, but you will have a grudging respect for them. Ross: And what is the deal with Entity and Mercury attacking Blackdragon? Don’t they already have enough enemies in their short stay in OOWF? Razz: You would think so, it seems like they have had issues with half the roster, including Moosehead Jack and Concrete TG. They just left Moosehead Jack lying backstage, something I never thought I would see. Ross: To update that situation, Moosehead Jack suffered a slight concussion, but he has been cleared to wrestle tonight, which cannot bode well for Entity and Mercury. Razz: Well enough talking about it lets head to the ring.
MOOSEHEAD JACK, CONCRETE TG, OUTBACK JACK & GATORBAIT vs. UNCLE ENTITY, MERCURY, FF CAPSLOCK & STANKStank, Capslock, Entity, Mercury, Outback Jack and GatorBait all make their normal entrances. The lights dim and turn green and the Hurribuggy cruises out to the ring! Concrete gets out and poses. Moosehead Jack gets out and looks like he just ate bad cheese. Gator and Mercury start out. They chain wrestle for a bit, both trying to get a footing and nail a big move. GatorBait finally does and hits an over-the-head belly-to-belly suplex. He goes over to his corner and Concrete is anxious for a tag. He looks at him for a moment and tags in Outback Jack. OBJ comes in and beats Mercury back into his own corner and gets two big punches from Stank and Capslock for his troubles. Merc tags in Entity who holds OBJ's arms behind his back, Mecury pulls out a vial and prepares to throw it in Outback's eyes. Outback mule kicks Entity in the groin and clotheslines Mercury out of the ring. He then tags in ConcreteTG. Concrete attacks Entity with punches of extreme justice. He throws Entity into the ropes and nails a big back body drop over the ropes and to the outside! He runs back, hits the ropes and dives over and nails Entity with a cross body block. Stank jumps down and punches Concrete several times and throws him into the steel steps outside. GatorBait and Outback Jack rush into the ring and are met by Capslock and Mercury. They all brawl in the middle. But Moosehead Jack stays in his corner. Stank continues the assault outside the ring. Uncle Entity comes back inside the ring and helps Capslock and Mercury overcome Outback and Gator. Finally Moosehead comes into the ring and attacks Mercury. Stank throws Concrete onto the announcers table and readies him for Stankonia on the table. Moose notices what’s going on and throws Mercury into the corner and hits a running corner avalanche. He baseball slides outside and pulls Concrete away from Stank and throws him back into the ring, following him back into the battle. Capslock throws Outback Jack outside the ring and Stank pulls him onto the table instead. Stankonia through the table! Capslock looks pleased until GatorBait spins him around and delivers a Chomp to the big man. Pin, broken up by Entity. Moosehead grabs Entity and holds him for Concrete. ConcreteTG with a Cement Mixer! Pin on Entity broken up by Mercury. Mercury readies the vial again and throws it at Moosehead Jack; Concrete pulls Jack out of the way at the last second and the mercury hits GatorBait in the eyes! Gator stumbles around grabs Moosehead Jack! He can't see! Chomp to Moosehead! Capslock hits the Spirit of Fresno on GatorBait out of nowhere; Stank slides into the ring and hits Stankonia on Concrete. Mercury pins Moosehead Jack. 1, 2, 3! WINNERS in 12:54 FF Capslock, Stank, Mercury and Entity Ross: Well Capslock, Stank, Mercury and Uncle Entity stole another win, and once again Mercury uses a powder to the eyes to get the win, you have to think there will be repercussions from GM the Rick for this one! Razz: You would think so; he was warned by the Rick about that, so I would think there would be some consequences. Ross: Well I damn sure know the consequences of our next match, the winner moves on in the Onslaught tournament, the loser thinks about his next move. Firechild and Westgaard are two of the toughest hosses in the OOWF, this should be a slobbernocker!
OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT – ROUND 2
FIRECHILD vs. JW WESTGAARD \JW Westgaard makes his way to the ring…all smiles and slapping the fans hands, typical face stuff here…as soon as Firechild’s tunes hit the speakers all those cheers turn to boos. Lock up to start and FC gets the quick advantage over the larger JWW with a fireman’s carry into body and a quick cover for 1. Lock up again, this time JWW gains the advantage with a snap mare takedown that in turn leads to some oh-so good OMG work rate chain wrestling. Both men scramble to their feet. Lock up and FC with a boot to the midsection, arm wringer and punches to the neck, back and shoulder. FC quickly taking control and whips JWW into the corner and hits him with a splash, JWW slumps into the corner. FC picks him and sits on the turnbuckle and hits a wicked tornado arm breaker and covers. Kick out at 2, FC locks on the Rings of Saturn and JWW grimaces in pain, the ref checks but JWW won’t give up. FC gets up and continues to target the back, neck and shoulder of JWW. Somehow JWW gets to his feet and is Irish whipped into the corner, as FC charges JWW Lifts a foot and catches FC right in the chops. FC bails to the out side and JWW follows, the ref warns them to get back in the ring. JWW slams FC’s head into Guard Rail (unpadded of course). The ref is really beginning to yell at JWW as he bounces FC off the ring post. JWW back in to break the ten count and back out after FC and rolls him back into the ring. As JWW is getting back in FC catches him with a kick to the head, JWW gets to his feet and blocks a punch by FC and lands a right cross of his own. FC stumbles back and turns around right into a belly-to-belly suplex. JWW waits for FC to get to his feet possibly looking for a crosscheck. FC is up and Charges and JWW catches him with a T-bone overhead release suplex. JWW over and picks up FC and proceeds to hit 3 Germans a la Benoit. Some of those suplexes take some out JWW as well. After a pause there is a cover by JWW but FC kicks out at 2. FC hits a low blow out of frustration and earns a quick warning from the ref. Westgaard then hits one of his own and the ref is screaming at the two, threaten DQ’s. Both men up and hit simultaneous clothes lines, and now both men are down. Ref starts a 10 count, FC up first and over hits a DDT and locks on the D-tuner! JWW struggles and eventually makes it to the ropes. FC gets in the ref’s face, but is spun around by JWW and hit with a kick to the gut and sets up the Ice Auger, but FC wiggles free and some reverses it into a D-Tuner, JWW struggles but cannot fight it as he has taken a ton of punishment to his Neck and shoulders and taps out. FC celebrates and JWW makes it to his feet and the two have a brief stare down, JWW offers his hand in a show of good sportsmanship and FC returns it with a loogie to the face and bails out of the ring. Winner by submission at 14:47: Firechild Ross: Well, that was quite a show of class by Firechild there wasn’t it Razz? Ross: Well, no one said you had to be a good sport AFTER the match…just during the match. I may not like his attitude, but Firechild has impressed me the last few weeks, ever since he hooked up with 3Piece Set Razz: Well scum attracts scum if you ask me. I thought Firechild had potential, but after casting his lot with those two, I’m not so sure. Besides, Firechild seems to be trying to make an enemy out of LD Williams, something I am not too sure is his wisest move. Razz: Probably not in his best interest, but when you have the tag team champions watching your back, sometimes you are a little bolder than you need to be. Ross: That may be the case with Firechild. I’ll tell ya Razz, one thing about this tournament is it is really become a showcase some of the young talent here in the OOWF. Our next match features two of the rising stars here; Capellan has impressed a lot of folks with his attitude and skills. Razz: And Seraph is just flat out strange, but don’t let the strangeness fool you, he is a great athlete and a dangerous competitor.
SERAPH vs. CAPELLAN Capellan seems to have a fan club even here in Chevy Chase. MD. It looks like Taxi Driver Union #415 is out in force. There’s another marriage proposal for Capellan, but this time it’s from a chick…and she’s pretty hot! Capellan’s starting to get noticed by the right kind of people in the OOWF. That woman could easily be a SFJ! Oh, and there’s another marriage proposal, but this time it’s for Donnie Viper. And yep, that’s a guy. Anyway, Seraph is still in the middle of ring, calmly waiting for Capellan to enter. Seraph is even holding the ropes open for Capellan. Now that’s what the Onslaught title is all abo…well, until Seraph decided to kick Capellan hard in the ribs! This match is underway. Cap is doubled over in pain, and Seraph is methodically working him over. Boots to the ribs, dropping elbows to the chest, Seraph really knows how to work a body part. Seraph shoves Cap forward into the rope, smashing forearm to the back! Seraph still doesn’t look like he’s going for the kill though. Looks like he just wants to make Cap feel the pain. Cap fires back with a punch, a second, wait, we have a comeback! Capellan to the ropes, Seraph drops down, back up, palm strike to the face by Seraph! So much for the comeback. Seraph goes back to the ribs, abdominal stretch for good measure. Capellan really needs a miracle at this point, and I don’t see it here. Seraph is too careful. Whip to the ropes by Seraph, and a huge knee to the gut of Capellan. Seraph grabs the legs, and locks in the Sharpshooter. Capellan has to give this up. The pressure on his back, the ribs, it’s got to be too much. He’s fighting though, crawling. Somehow he’s on his elbows and makes it to the ropes! The ref calls for the break, and Seraph calmly lets go. But he’s pulling Cap back to the center of the ring and looks to lock the Sharpshooter on again, but Capellan grabs Seraph’s head…roll up, he has the small package locked in, Seraph is kicking like mad by the ref counts three! What a miracle! WINNER in 12:14, Capellan. Ross: What a great match! Capellan and Seraph proved that they both have the potential to be future stars here in the OOWF. Whoever wins the tournament better watch out for both of these guys! Razz: No doubt Ross, I think either of these guys could give the future champion a hell of a match, and not just for the Onslaught championship either, either one could contend for the Intercontinental or world title as well! Ross: Speaking of former champions, up next we have a former two-time tag team champion and a former world champion squaring off, Razz who do you like? Razz: Well I think Hellion is still making that transition from Tag team wrestler to singles competitor, and even thought he has impressed the hell out of me in the last few weeks, I think Canadian dragon takes this one and advances in the tournament.
HELLION vs. CANADIAN DRAGON Wristlock sequence goes Dragon’s way leading up to Dragon kick. Hellion looks to be knocked loopy and the refs calls Dragon off. Hellion gets a small package when Dragon goes to check on him though, and is rewarded by a series of stiff kicks to the head. Dragon goes to work on the arm, but Hellion flips out of a standing arm bar and Dragon takes a super kick. Hellion goes for a running cross body, but Dragon catches him and hits the first power slam of his OOWF career. Dragon seems steamed and starts hitting Hellion with chops so loud that they’re picked up by Razz's mic. Dragon sets up a springboard Dragonsault, but Hellion gets the knees up. He goes into a wicked series of kicks and Dragon bails. Back in, Hellion drops Dragon on the top rope, and then goes for a German suplex. Dragon flips in mid air though and delivers a dropkick to the back of Hellion's head. Dragon catches Hellion from behind and hits a German suplex for two. Hellion battles back but gets smacked down again. Hellion tries to get up again, but Dragon starts laying in STIFF kicks. Dragon picks Hellion back up and hits a vicious backdrop suplex that gets two. Another one is countered by Hellion for two as well. The two men criss cross of the ropes and Dragon goes for a hurricarana but Hellion hits a brutal power bomb, dropping Dragon almost directly on his neck. Hellion hits a snap suplex and stalls some more. He hits a German suplex that gets two. Hellion is getting cocky now and goes for a dragon suplex but it's reversed into the ocean cyclone. Hellion sends Dragon into the corner and follows up with a high knee kick. He picks up Dragon and goes for Hell’s Fury, but Dragon counters that with a northern lights suplex for the win at 14:33 WINNER in 14:33 Canadian Dragon Ross: razz I am so impressed with these two, I know I keep saying this, but these guys are fierce competitors capable of knocking off any champion on any given night! Razz: I agree there Ross, and our next two guys are no exception to that either. Endo has had an impressive solo run, and I have always thought Thim was once of those guys flying just below the radar. You never think of him much until he gets into the ring and shows off his skills. Ross: I agree Razz, I think both of these guys are promising, I give the slight nod to Thim because he has had more singles experience under his belt, and because Endo tends to like to brawl a little more than wrestle, in this tournament, that will earn you a quick trip to the showers.
ENDO vs. THIM REYNOLDS Thim Reynolds and Endo both enter the ring and Endo wastes no time, quickly attacking TR. Endo is fist of fury as TR attempts to cover up. Endo applies a blatant choke and the ref pulls them apart. Warning Endo about the choke. TR catches Endo with a belly to belly and locks an arm bar, Endo tries to reach for TR’s head to apply the claw but TR avoids it and cinches in the arm bar even tighter. Eventually TR breaks the hold and lands some stiff kicks to Endo’s claw Hand and Arm. Endo up and connects with a right hand and TR is staggering. Endo again goes for the Claw on TR but it is fought off and Endo connects with a DDT. Endo mounts his opponent and begins to punch away at TR’s head, neck and shoulders. TR escapes and Hits Endo with a stiff clothesline, and attempts to apply the Reflex-O-Lock, but Endo fights out of it. Endo on the offensive with some punchy kicker and connects with a belly to back suplex. TR bails out of the ring and Endo reaches over the ropes to pull TR back in but TR hang Endo up on the top rope. Endo is down and TR with a leg drop and cover for 1 ½. TR picks up Endo and Endo LOCKS ON THE CLAW!!!!, TR fights it, and in a desperation moves falls to one knee and uses Endo’s own body weight to counter into an arm bar, and quick float over into the Reflex-O-Lock!!!!!…Endo struggles but cannot make it to the ropes and despite all his efforts taps out. WINNER in 7:44 Thim Reynolds Ross: Wow, that’s what I am talking about Razz, not to take anything at all away from Endo, but Thim is well schooled in the submission style of chain wrestling, he can get nasty when need be and use chairs and the like, but he much prefers to get you on the mat and grind out a match. His style is going to be a very difficult match for Canadian Dragon next week; Dragon likes to fly, while Thim wants to keep it on the mat. Razz: I know you are anxious for this next match Ross, Chris Alt and Microplay square off Ross: You’re damn right I’m excited about this one! Alt has to be the brightest rising star in the OOWF; this kid has an unlimited future here. And Microplay has really turned it around lately and is looking to get back into the World title mix. He has a tough draw tonight, but this should be a fantastic match between two stellar athletes!
NON-TOURNAMENT MATCHES
MICROPLAY vs. CHRIS ALT Both men meet in the center of the ring and stare eye to eye, collar and elbow tie up, Alt shoots MP to the ropes and drops to the mat, MP steps over and bounds off the opposite ropes, Alt catches him and tries a hip toss, MP reverses it and tosses Alt, Alt flips and lands on his feet, MP charges and Alt drops him with a drop toe hold, as soon as MP hits the mat Alt grabs a side head lock, MP immediately rolls him over for a two count. Alt pushes out of that and gets back to a sitting position. MP reaches up with his leg and traps Alt in a head scissor. Alt turns his body and does a head stand and pops out from between MP’s legs and pounces on MP and grabs another side headlock, MP slips out of it and turns it into a hammerlock, Alt gets to his feet and grabs MP’s head and flips over MP’s shoulder and rolls MP up from behind for a two count, MP kicks out and both men quickly get to their feet! The fans ERUPT! The two shake hands and start the process all over again. The action goes back and forth for a long time, but the match stays squeaky clean, not even so much as a closed fist punch is thrown. That changes when MP stuns Alt with an elbow to the nose, when he charges at him Alt backdrops MP over the top rope. Alt falls to one knee and notices a trickle of blood coming from his nose. As soon as he does, he springs over the top rope to the outside and kills MP with a plancha. MP gets to his feet and Alt takes him down with a clothesline, then rolls back into the ring. Now MP is a little annoyed, he grabs Alt’s legs from the outside and pulls him out of the ring. MP mounts Alt and pounds away on Alt’s bloody nose, drawing more blood. MP rolls Alt back into the ring and follows him in, hits the ropes and drops a knee across his nose, makes the cover and gets a two count. Now all semblance of a scientific classic goes out the window and both men tear into each other. Alt tries a double leg take down, but MP lifts him for a power bomb, but YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB CHRIS ALT, Alt spins out of it and lands behind MP and goes for a clothesline, MP ducks, spins Alt again and hits a pile driver. Cover gets two. MP pulls Alt to his feet and slams him face first to the top turnbuckle, then sets him on the top rope. MP follows him up and superplexes Alt off the top. As they land MP slams his fist onto Alt’s nose, drawing more blood. Alt kicks out of this cover at two. Alt is dazed now and MP waits on him to get to his feet, then hits him with a Polish Hammer right to the nose. Alt collapses in a heap on the mat. MP climbs the ropes and leaps off for the elbow drop, Alt moves at the last second and MP hits the mat elbow first and seems to jam his shoulder. Alt gets to his feet, hits the ropes and drops a knee across MP’s shoulder, cover gets two, but MP is in pain. Alt measures MP and stomps away at the shoulder, finally Alt waits for MP to get to his feet, goes behind and kills MP with a chicken wing release suplex. MP lands on his neck and injured shoulder, Alt is quick to cover, hooking the leg hard and just getting a three count before MP can kick out. WINNER in 44:11 Chris Alt After the match the two stare at each other for a moment, MP extends his hand the two bloody competitors shake hands and embrace, the crowd goes crazy. Ross: Not only was it a great match, but it was a nice show of sportsmanship at the end, Razz, why can’t we see that more often here in the OOWF? Razz: Cause then we would be Ted Dibiase’s fed Ross: Who? Razz: Never mind. That was a great match, and I hope we get to see more out of those two, that is what mat classics are supposed to be about, that reminded me a lot of the great Flair-Steamboat matches Ross: Who? Razz: Forget it. Next up we have a really odd pairing, Ross ever get an explanation as to why UnderDawg and Niles Anderson are teaming together? Ross: Honestly I have no idea, the word around backstage is that Donovan Viper pulled some strings to get his next two opponents in the title gauntlet paired up against his boys to make things a little easier on him, but I can not imagine GM the Rick giving in to any of Donovan Viper’s demands, so I really don’t know what the story is there. Razz: well let’s go to the ring and see what happens
THE DEVILS BRIGADE vs. UNDERDAWG & NILES ANDERSON The Devil’s Brigade comes to the ring first; Niles comes out next and comes about half way down the ramp then stands to wait through UnderDawg’s entrance, looking rather annoyed. Finally Dawg makes it to the ring and the match is about to begin. UnderDawg looks like he is going to start with Harper Camby, but at the last minute Niles tags himself in. Dawg looks a little annoyed but leaves the ring anyway. Niles and Camby circle each other, when they lock up, Camby shoves him away easily and flexes. Niles looks a little annoyed and turns to Dawg, but Dawg just stares at him. When Niles turns back to Camby, Camby destroys him with a clothesline, and stomps Niles into oblivion. Camby pulls Niles back to his feet and chops away until Niles is backed into The Devil’s Brigade corner. Camby tags in O’Neil and TO goes toe-to-toe with Niles peppering him with body shots. TO tries to whip Niles out of the corner, but Niles reverses it and catches a rebounding TO with a black hole slam and quickly crawls across the ring and tags in UnderDawg. Dawg comes in and as soon as TO gets to his feet he destroys him with a boot to the face. Camby comes in, and UD catches him with a scoop slam and deposits him over the top rope. TO gets back to his feet and charges at UD, Dawg catches TO by the throat and lifts him for a choke slam. TO goes for the ride, but before UD can do anything, Niles tags himself into the match. Dawg stands stunned for a moment as Niles comes in and makes the cover. TO kicks out at two, UD pulls NA to his feet and the two stand there and argue for a moment. As it looks like they are about to come to blows, TO attacks Niles from behind with an elbow to the head. TO kicks Niles low and hits him with a snap suplex. TO pulls Niles to the corner and tags in Camby. Camby takes over with power moves keeping Niles in their corner. UD cheers on Niles but doesn’t really do anything to come in and save him. Finally after Camby nearly gets the pin on Niles after a Samoan drop followed by a military press suplex slam, UnderDawg comes in and makes the save. UnderDawg leaves the ring, and does not look happy. Niles rakes Camby’s eyes and hits him with a DDT. Niles gets to his feet and staggers across the ring and waits for Camby to get to his feet, Niles is waiting to hit the SteeDDT. Before he can UnderDawg reaches in and tag himself in. UD comes in and cleans house (again) knocking TO off the apron with a big shot to the face, and taking Camby over the top rope with a clothesline. As UD stands in the middle of the ring, the legal man, and waits for TDB to get back in, Niles walks up to him and spins him around, obviously furious about something. The two argue for a minute, then Niles slaps Dawg across the face and spits on him. Dawg snaps. He grabs Niles by the throat and choke slams the hell out of him. As Dawg stands over the possibly dead Niles Anderson, Camby and O’Neil attack, Camby grabs Dawg by the arm and spins him around, as soon as he does TO hits Dawg with the KO. Dawg staggers a few steps and Camby kicks him and DESTROYS him with a Razor’s Edge. Not content with just one, Camby picks UD up again and hits a second power bomb and locks on the Devil’s Breath (full-nelson camel clutch). Meanwhile TO mounts Niles and pounds away until Niles is a bloody mess, then locks on the Gaelic Cloverleaf just to hear Niles scream. The ref looks at the carnage; both Niles and UD are out, so he calls for the bell WINNERS in 17:16 The Devil’s Brigade After the match Donovan Viper makes his way to the ring and taunts both men, grabbing them by the hair and showing them the title he claims they will never win. DV goes a little farther and has TO and HC pull UD to his feet and levels the Dawg with a belt shot to the face. Hellion finally comes to the ring and The Devil’s Brigade beats a retreat to the back. Ross: Well, I said I didn’t think GM the Rick would give into Donovan Viper, and I still don’t, but damn it all if it didn’t seem to work out in Donovan Viper’s favor? Razz: Well when you are the World F*cking Champion you have a little bit of pull backstage, Ross I am not sure exactly why this match came about, but I couldn’t imagine a much better ending for the champion. Ross: Speaking of the champs, the tag champs have yet another defense against Revolution XX. Razz what is it about 3Piece Set that keeps them coming out on top against Coolname and Eric? Razz: Well, they ARE the champs for a reason, I know you don’t approve of what they do in the ring, but these two are very talented athletes, as are Revolution XX, I think it has been as much luck as talent here as of late, and one day that luck will run out. Ross: Let’s head to the ring and see if tonight is that night! 3PIECE SET vs. REVOLUTION XX Carl Coolname and EricO'Mac into the ring first. Chris Cole and Ax-Man enter second, showboating all the way. As soon as they get into the ring, Carl and Eric attack, savagely beating Cole and Ax in the face. The cage slowly lowers. Cole kicks Coolname in the groin and throws him off of him. He pulls O'Mac off of Ax and readies his Tag Team Championship for a belt shot. Coolname hops outside of the ring and grabs a chair. He barely gets back into the ring as the cage lands. O'Mac stands and turns and is nailed in the face with Cole's belt. Cole turns around with a big smile on his face and Coolname's chair lands square between his eyes. Ax-Man gets ready with his belt and stares Carl Coolname down. They both stand frozen for a moment, weapons readied. Ax starts to set his down and Carl does the same. They finally both drop their respective weapons and Ax-Man rushes Coolname and clotheslines him. Coolname gets up and is clotheslined right back down again. Coolname will not stay down however and gets right back up only to be met with a high hanging suplex. Ax grabs Coolname's chair and waits for Coolname to gets up. Eric O'Mac gets up slowly and he is a bloody mess. Ax-Man notices O'Mac and cracks him in the face with a chair shot sending him right back down. Coolname gets up and Ax-Man runs in and swings the chair at him. Coolname ducks the chair shot, kick to the midsection, Ax drops the chair, DDT from Carl Coolname onto the chair! Carl grabs it and sets it up in the center of the ring. He picks Ax-Man up and power bombs him through the chair! Ax-Man is tangles in the twisted steel and he looks hurt. Coolname is grabbed from behind by Chris Cole. Cole throws Coolname headfirst into the cage. Chris Cole throws a fist into the air and screams through a crimson mask of his own. Coolname gets up and is tackled into the wall of the cage. Eric O'Mac gets back up and grabs Cole in a side headlock and starts punching him in the forehead further opening up the cut. Cole grabs O'Mac around the waist and gets a backdrop. EricO'Mac lands hard on his neck and grabs it immediately. He looks like he may have been injured on that one. Cole slowly gets up and sees Coolname coming to so he tackles him again into the cage wall. The wall gives way! Both men fall to the ground and land awkwardly on their heads. Eric is screaming out for an EMT. Ax-Man is unconscious after getting caught in the steel mess that used to be a chair. Cole and Coolname are both not moving outside the ring. The referee allows plenty of time before finally deciding that this match must be ruled a No Decision. WINNER – No Contest in 17:41 Ross: Good LORD! Razz, I generally think that this needs to be saved as a last resort, but I think it might be time for these two to settle their differences inside a cage. I mean we mentioned earlier what a blood feud did for the Dragons and Morte and LI, I may not like their methods or their attitudes, but I would hate to see that same thing happen to either one of these teams. Razz: Well I tend to agree there Ross, but the problem there is you have FF Capslock and Stank, and Outback Jack and GatorBait waiting in the wings for a title shot. They hate the champs damn near as much as Revolution XX, so I am not sure what you do in that situation. I would not want to be in GM the Rick’s shoes right now. Ross, up next it’s your favorite! Ross: I have made my feelings on Johnny Adrenaline perfectly clear; I think he is perhaps the most deplorable champion we have EVER had in the history of wrestling. Razz, I am not ashamed to admit that I am pulling for Corax to destroy Johnny and take the Intercontinental title tonight! Razz: Damn, Ross, what did Johnny do that was so bad? It’s not like he murdered a bus load of puppies, well as far as we know, he just happens to be a champion that likes to take occasional shortcuts Ross: Occasional? Razz the man is the sickest, most twis…. Razz: Ok, lets head to the match!
JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. CORAX Johnny grabs a headlock out of a collar and elbow tie-up, and looks to implement his size advantage on the smaller Corax early on, as Corax can't break the hold, having to reach the ropes instead, which he does. Johnny goes for another side headlock, but Corax is ready this time and dumps Johnny back with a high side suplex. Johnny, however, snags a single leg takedown and looks to take over, but Corax kicks out of it. Johnny charges, and Corax takes him over with a monkey flip. Corax gets an arm drag, but Johnny blocks a second one, but Corax counters that by using Johnny's leverage against him, pulling himself into the air off Johnny's arm and taking the champion down with a head scissors, sending Johnny scrambling to the floor. Corax allows Johnny no time to regroup, as he runs to the ropes, springboards, and hits a shooting star press on a standing Johnny, and both guys crash to the floor. Corax will not let Johnny breathe, as he gets up and whips Johnny into the apron. He follows that up with a series of martial arts kicks, broad jumps, and hits a hurricanrana, putting Johnny down again. Corax rolls in to break the count, and comes back out. Johnny tries an eye poke, but somehow gets his fingers caught in Corax's mask, allowing the challenger to grab Johnny's arm and send him into the ring steps with a judo throw. Corax then picks up the ring steps and sets them on Johnny's head. Corax hops onto the apron, climbs to the top rope, but the referee stops Corax from jumping, allowing Johnny to free himself. As the referee reprimands Corax, Johnny grabs his Intercontinental Title and heads for the locker room. Corax won't allow it though, chasing Johnny up the ramp, leapfrogging onto Johnny' shoulders, but Johnny counters with a modified snap mare, sending Corax to splat on the concrete floor below the ramp, about an eight foot drop altogether, prompting a "Holy Shit" chant from the crowd. Johnny hops down to the floor, picks up Corax and lifts him for a vertical suplex, but just drops Corax back onto the ramp. Johnny crawls back up and stomps away at Corax, slowly rolling the challenger back toward the ring. Johnny picks up his title belt, walks back to the ring, and sets the belt on the apron. Johnny puts Corax over his shoulder and javelins him into the ring post, and the referee yells at both men to bring the action back into the ring. Johnny obliges by rolling Corax back in. Johnny looks for a DDT, but Corax reverses into a back slide for two. Johnny pops up and tries a clothesline, but Corax ducks and gets a crazy rollup for another two count. Johnny pops up again and looks for another clothesline, and Corax ducks again, but Johnny was bluffing, and grabs Corax for the Adrenaline Rush. Corax shifts his weight on the slingshot attempt and goes all the way to the floor, pulling Johnny's throat right across the top rope. Corax slingshots back in with a leg drop. One...two...and Johnny JUST gets a shoulder up. Johnny pulls himself up and Corax runs to the ropes. Johnny watches Corax go by one time, and the challenger cartwheels into the top rope and corkscrews back to the middle of the ring with a cross body, but Johnny pulls the referee in the way, and all three men fall to the mat. Johnny's up first, and goes to grab his IC Title, but Corax baseball slides thru his legs hits Johnny with a low blow and grabs the title himself. As Johnny sells the nut shot, Corax BLASTS him with the title. Corax then proceeds to whip Johnny with the title belt. Seven, eight, nine, ten lashes with the belt and Johnny's back is all welted up. Corax goes to the top and motions for the 450 Splash, but takes a split second too long, because as he jumps, Johnny grabs the title belt and Corax's face meets the gold head-on on impact. The challenger is unconscious, Johnny manages to drape an arm over, and the groggy ref makes the three count. Johnny grabs the belt and scurries away quickly, obviously wanting nothing more to do with Corax. WINNER in 10:31, and still Intercontinental Champion: Johnny Adrenaline. Razz: Ok Ross, what do you say about that one? Corax cheated and was just as brutal as Johnny Adrenaline has EVER been! Would it have been justice to have Corax represent the OOWF as the Intercontinental champion? Ross: No, I suppose not, but if you think that I am going to sit here and say I did not enjoy the hell out of seeing Johnny Adrenaline get beaten to within an inch of his miserable life, well Razz, that is just not going to happen! Razz: Calm down big guy, I knew all along you were enjoying that match, and I think you will like our next match as well, Donovan Viper defends his title against GimmickMan, the second opponent in the World Title Gauntlet. Donnie survived Microplay last week; you think he can get past Gimmick this week? Ross: I am not so sure that he can Razz, Donnie seems to be losing his focus more and more each week. He seems so worried about UnderDawg and Niles that he is not concentrating on the opponent of the night. It would not surprise me in the least to see Gimmick score the upset here tonight. Razz: Well I am going to have to agree with you there, if Donnie isn’t 100% focused on GimmickMan he will not leave Chevy Chase with the title tonight. Gimmick is another one of those guys who seem to fly under the radar, but he is a hell of an accomplished wrestler. This one is going to be great.
DONOVAN VIPER vs. GIMMICKMAN The Devil’s Brigade accompanies Donovan Viper to ringside for his match against GimmickMan, but before the bell even rings, the ref sends them to the back. Of course all three protest. The ref doesn’t seem to care and calls for the bell. TDB head to the back, Donovan Viper is still arguing with the ref. Gimmick comes up behind DV and rolls him up for a two count, DV is just able to get out of it, both men spring to their feet, Gimmick takes DV back down with a clothesline, they repeat this three times, each time GM hits a stiff clothesline. Finally DV bails out of the ring to catch his breath, GM follows him to the outside and doesn’t give him a moment to recuperate. GM slams DV’s head off the apron, then whips him hard into the guardrail. When DV charges forward, GM backdrops him on the concrete floor. DV yells in pain, GM rolls him back into the ring and presses his advantage. GM grabs DV in a reverse chin lock and drives his knee into DV’s lower back. Gimmick keeps the action on the mat for the next several minutes, picking different body parts at will to work over, and there is little DV can do to stop him. Finally the ref is caught out of position, DV takes advantage of this and hits GM with a low blow and throws him out of the ring. DV tries to follow him out of the ring, but falls to the mat, too exhausted to press his advantage. The action continues back and forth, GM dominates most of the match with DV gaining temporary advantages on occasion. Finally GM stuns DV with a European uppercut and drops DV with a series of stiff kicks to the midsection, arms, and finally face. DV falls face first to the mat, when he does GM pounces and locks on the STF. GimmickMan has Viper locked in the STF in the middle of the ring! Viper has nowhere to go! We are going to have a new World Champion! Just as it looks like Donovan is going to tap, The Devil’s Brigade shows up. Tommy O’Neil jumps on the apron to argue with the referee and Harper Camby hits the ring. Camby tries an elbow drop on Gimmick, but GM moves, releasing the hold, and Camby slams down across DV. Camby gets to his feet and is immediately hit with a SPARTAN PLUNGE! Gimmick pulls Camby to his feet and throws him over the top rope. Donovan Viper is on one knee. Tommy O’Neil tries to come into the ring, but Gimmick hits him with a European uppercut, as he is halfway into the ring. With TO hung up in the ropes, Gimmick grabs TO by the back of the head and head buts him repeatedly until TO’s face is a bloody mess. TO is barely conscious, he is holding on to the ref with one hand and the ropes with the other. The ref is checking on TO, as Gimmick turns his attention back to Donovan Viper, he is blindsided with a chain assisted DEATH ELBOW to the face. Gimmick hits the mat, out cold; Donovan Viper covers, TO lets go of the ref and falls to the floor, barely conscious. The ref looks around, a bit confused at the carnage that just took place, apparently without him seeing any of it, and makes the three count. WINNER in 33:57 Donovan Viper Ross: Donovan Viper survives another week, but barely! If not for the Devil’s Brigade Gimmick would be the champion tonight! Razz Donovan Viper should thank his lucky stars for Camby and O’Neil, he was completely outclassed tonight. Razz: Well, I have said it before and I will say it again, sometimes it is better to be lucky than good, tonight Donovan Viper was lucky. Next week he better be good, or he will lose the title to Niles Anderson! Ross: I agree completely there Razz, also next week we have the Onslaught Championship semi-finals, Firechild takes on Capellan and Canadian Dragon faces Thim Reynolds. That, plus a whole lot more as the OOWF comes to you live from Panic, Pennsylvania! Razz: That’s all we have for tonight, for Ross, I’m Razz, goodnight!
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