MidWeek Mayhem (05/26) Live! From St. Vincents

[mooseheadjack]

A man in a black robe walks to the ring and takes the microphone. He holds up his right hand as if to silence the crowd (although as an unknown the crowd doesn't particularly react to his entrance.)

"Settle down. Settle down. You all know who I am."

They don't in fact.

"What you don't know is why I'm here. I'm here, quite simply, to edify you. I'm here because you need me to be here. I'm here because of an ethical imperative. But perhaps more proximately I'm here because of something that happened just last week.

You see, while I was on sabbatical in Grenada, in a town not unlike this one, but infinitely better, I was sitting in a small sidewalk cafe drinking a macchiato and reading some of my favorite parts of Lacan's Écrits… or should I say I was trying to read them. You see, I say 'trying' because when I opened my book, some urchin ran by shrieking that, and I quote, "We're gonna see Miss Alexandra drawling if we don't hurry papa."

But so is life, I thought. Cest la vie, non? After all, I like being among the people, and the noise of urban life is part of its charm. So I smiled and paid no more thought to the matter. But then a second child ran by screaming about Poe, and that delighted me because children should read more poetry, even if it is of a lower quaility. And then another ran by yelling about mousse and I had a mind to reprimand her parents for feeding her such sweets. And finally, and this all happened within a few minutes, a fourth ran by yelling that some woman was on fire. And that horrified me. Horrified me. So I finished my drink and two more paragraphs of Écrits, because you just can't leave off the 'Introduction to Jean Hyppolite's Commentary on Freud's 'Verneinung'' anywhere you like, and ran after the child to see if I could aid the woman on fire, or at the very least offer the local media a brief discourse on the evental nature self-immolation and it's place within a theory modern political resistánce. But when I got there, there was no woman on fire. In fact. what I found was an arena like this filled with people like you.

At first i was confused, and not a little enraged that I had given up such a good table at the cafe, and had to put down my Lacan. But I am nothing if not a man of the people, so I stayed to see what the spectacle was all about. For, you see, I am someone who deeply empathizes with the pain you all daily suffer, and I am someone who can, despite my better position, understand that your struggles are my struggles. So I bought a ticket and sat to watch this spectacle, which the man next to me explained was wrestling. 'Ah, fantastic', I said, 'just like in Roland Barthes seminal essay!'

But what I saw was nothing like Barthes essay. What I saw was a confusing mess grown men nearly drowning in shallow pools, cakes, and people fighting each other for what seemed like trivialities. There were no readings of The Raven, there was no mousse for sale at the concession stand, nor could I determine who the southern belle Alexandra was. More to the point, nowhere did I see the noble struggle of man that Barthes wrote about.

My heart ached for what I saw, and so after much soul searching and not a few drams of Port, I decided that what i saw in Grenada was a call to action. I came to see that what I witnessed that day was an ethical imperative to action-- to come here and put this place in order. I am here to return this spectacle to what it's founder Roland Barthes intended it to be. And so here I am. You already know who I am, and now you know why I'm here, and soon you will see how I shall do this thing that must be done."

[mooseheadjack]

Stank is still sitting at the bar watching Poe and Selena who have made their way over by the pool of the USS Tytanik. He looks out over the sea taking in the beauty of the sun glistening on the waters and shuts his eyes, grateful for the moment of calm before the storm coming Wednesday night. When Stank reopens his eyes he is greeted by the sight of SFJ#5.

Stank - Oh. YOU again.

5 - Hola.

Stank - What do you want?

5 - ¿Usted sabe quién usted es, con todo?

Stank - I knew who I was the first time you asked.

5 - Who are you now?

Stank - I'm the same man you asked before.

5 - I see.

Stank - If you are The Five's SFJ why am I the only one you have interviewed so far?

5 - This is not an interview. I'll be interviewing LD Williams momentarily. I was just curious if you had thought about what we discussed.

Stank - We didn't discuss anything, chica. You asked me a strange question then you left.

5 - Okay. Give it some thought will you... actually... ...

Stank - What?

5 - I do kind of have a question.

Stank - Another one?

5 - This one is more of a setup question toward a later interview I have planned for you.

Stank - Okay shoot.

5 - What are your thoughts on Davin Moreland being related to the Quinns?

Stank - I'm sorry.... what?

5 - Have you been watching OOWFtv?

Stank - No.

5 - So you don't know.

Stank - What the fuck are you talking about?

5 - Turns out Davin Moreland is Firewoman and Moosehead Jack's cousin.

Stank - That... that...

5 -

Stank - That can NOT possibly be true.

5 - No he showed Firewoman proof and everything.

Stank - What sort of proof?

5 - Photograph.

Stank - Photos can be doctored.

5 - Well this one was convincing enough for Firewoman to believe it. She was even able to place the photo back to her childhood.

Stank - ... What does... what does Moose think of this?

5 - Don't know. I think he's upset, but I don't know. That will be my interview with him if I can get SFJ#13 out the way. Anyway... you alright? You look like you're going to be sick.

Stank - No... ... I'm just thinking.

*SFJ#5 flashes a wicked grin.*

5 - Well... adios mi amigo. You happen to know where LD is?

Stank - Down below somewhere I assume. Leave me be.

5 - Later.

<Fade>

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose wanders in and Stank immediately spots him>

Stank: Moose

MHJ: What's up big man?

S: What's this bullshit about Davin being a cousin to you and Fire?

MHJ: Just what you said, bullshit

S: So you don't believe it?

MHJ: Not for a second

S: You think he is making it all up?

MHJ: Yep

S: But why?

MHJ: That part I don't know yet. To fuck with us?

S: Eh, that is giving Davin a lot of credit for being clever. He is tough as shit in the ring, but he is not one for elaborate schemes

MHJ: True. Well what are the other options?

S: To help Darling?

MHJ: I think he hates Alex just about as much as we do

S: But he did marry into the family

MHJ: True, but what's in it for him?

S: Maybe he thinks it would be easier to get the title off of Alex than Fire?

MHJ: He did throw his name into the hat pretty quick after Darling finally nutted up and decided to defend the title against everyone

S: If he can distract Fire with this family shit, he can slip in and try to get the title from Alex.

MHJ: You may be onto something there. Speaking of the title.........you going after it?

S: Not right now. I want those tag titles back. I am getting real tired of screwing around with those Texas clowns. What about you, can you get a title shot?

MHJ: I doubt it. Alex has gone out of his way to bitch and moan about me being in a tag match against him.

S: Well Rick did say no more matches.......

MHJ: No more one on one matches, he didn't say anything about tag matches. Though I am sure Alex will hide behind that too.

S: You see that Infieri guy?

MHJ: Yeah between him and that Fulton fella, the rookies seem to have a chip on their shoulders

S: So long as they stay out of our way

MHJ: Well, Stan had some choice words for LD, I am sure he is not real happy about that

S: He better just hope he lives to regret it

<fade>

[mooseheadjack]

**SFJ#5 approaches L.D. Williams.**

SFJ#5: “L.D.”

LDW: “Last I checked.”

SFJ#5: “Got a minute?”

LDW: “Sure.”

SFJ#5: “You're defending your Onslaught title against three men this week.”

LDW: “Yep.”

SFJ#5: “You don't seem too concerned.”

LDW: “Nope. Obviously multi-man matches that aren't elimination are ridiculous. Some guy trips over his own feet, lands on somebody, and he's the new champion if I don't get there in time. Not an ideal situation, but such is wrestling.”

SFJ#5: “One of your opponents, Stan Fulton, has had a lot to say about the match...”

LDW: “Stan has a lot to say about a lot of things. I don't mean to rain on your parade Stan, but I've hit bigger, and certainly better, men with the Canadian Destroyer, and the STF doesn't really care how big you are. Wednesday night you may have a title shot, but you'll be facing two former champions and the greatest wrestler walking the earth. Spin and Folz know what they're getting into, but you have no idea.“

SFJ#5: “One last thing, what do you have to say about the revelation that Davin Moreland is Moosehead Jack and Firewoman's cousin?”

LDW: “Like Mickey says – it's a small world after all. Other than reminding me I lucked out with Ma and Donnie, - and the obvious comedic opportunities - my partners' relationships are none of my business.”

SFJ#5: “And if Davin joins the Five?”

LDW: “The Six, just doesn't have the same ring to it.”

<fade>

[mooseheadjack]

(Ecosystem is sitting atop the Tytannik alone when Ravenna comes up.)

RB: Are you proud of how you were acting earlier?

Eco: You know I'm not.

RB: You expect me to follow that?

Eco: I was angry.

RB: At what? For kicking you during a wrestling match? You know, I wasn't even particularly aiming for you, but you were fair game regardless.

Eco: Sure, by the books. But it's not about the books for us. At the end of the day, you aligned yourself by Alexander Darling's side, one of the worst offenders.

RB: I didn't book myself in that match.

Eco: You acquiesced.

RB: What would you have done, Eco? Just sneak-attacked him when the bell rang? Would that have been more noble? Would that have helped show him the light? Or would it have just made everything worse?

Eco: Yes, /that/ would have made everything worse. Duh. But there's a lot of space between acting like The Five and going along to get along. I know you think Salvation is going about things badly, Ravenna. But Sanctum is doing nothing but treading water.

RB: I'm not joining you, Eco.

Eco: You're better off correcting the course of people who will actually act.

RB: I am not even considering it. You may as well give up.

Eco: I'll make the easy deal.

RB: Which is?

Eco: You win, I join Sanctum. You lose, you join Salvation.

RB: No.

Eco: ...No?

RB: No.

Eco: I thought you wanted...

RB: You as an unwilling member of Sanctum, undermining everything we're about? No, not really. I said I'd want you if you were willing to contribute, which is not the same as offering to join as a bargaining chip. You want to make a deal for our match?

Eco: I do.

RB: Then do this: if you want me to speak to you again, you will wrestle me clean, without anyone in Salvation lifting a finger to help you. Otherwise, I will never even begin to take you seriously about "cleaning up" OOWF. Think you can manage that?

Eco: I can and I will.

RB: Good.

(Lauren Phoenix walks up to the top.)

RB: Lauren.

LP: Ms. Blue.

(Ravenna leaves as Lauren approaches Eco.)

LP: Bad conversation?

Eco: I think wrestling match stipulation negotiation was a bad way to go about this.

LP: NO SHIT.

Eco: Thanks. Was Fulton receptive to our message?

LP: Not in the slightest. If it makes you feel better, he may not in fact have thoughts besides "Hulk Smash."

Eco: Speaking of smart guys...Dr. Infieri.

LP: What about him?

Eco: Can you talk to him? I like his style. Tentatively. "Putting this place to order" sounds nice.

LP: ...So I think he's batshit.

Eco: Since when does that matter?

LP: (Sigh) I'll place a call.

Eco: Thank you.

FADE

[mooseheadjack]

The Five sitting around in the common room of Chamber V when they hear a knock on the door. Opening to see Matt Folz standing there.

Poe: Can we help you Mr Folz?

MF: Relax, I'm not trying to start anything, even I'm not dumb enough to walk into a 5 on one situation. I just want to talk to Mr Williams for a moment.

LDW:About?

MF:5 minutes, just hear me out. Someplace we can talk in private?

LDW: Fine.

Folz motioning to the Invisible Ninja cams "You stay here" Following LD into a private room in the Chamber.

Stank:I don't like this, what the hell could Folz want?

MHJ:Relax, like he said, I don't believe he'd come here knowing all 5 of us were in the room and try to start something. He's brave, but not stupid.

Fire (smirking):Maybe he's telling LD they're related.

Poe, Selena, Stank and Fire all chuckle as Moose just glares right through Fire as the door opens and Folz and LD come out shaking hands???

MF: I'll see you in the ring tomorrow then. Good evening everyone.

After Folz leaves

MHJ: So what was that all about?

LDW: Should be an interesting match tomorrow.

Fade

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ: Lionheart, this Wednesday, you finally face your former mentor Firewoman. Given your silence as of late and your past history with Firewoman, your partner Alexander Darling has expressed doubt concerning your allegiance. Your comments?

Evans: Look I know Darling’s gone through a lot of deception and betrayal throughout his career, and given my history with Firewoman and the fact that I helped her turn on him, I can easily understand where’s he’s coming from. Fact of the matter though, is that I already sealed my fate the moment I turned on The Five.

I can’t go back to where I was, nor do I want to go back. I don’t regret a damn thing. No, actually I take that back. I regret the fact that I couldn’t take her out when I had the chance. Like I’ve said in the past, I have no fear of The Five, nor would I fear the repercussions of my actions had I done that. My days of being their pawn are long gone.

As for my silence, I’ve been preparing myself for this match more than any other in my career. I know that on a normal day, Moosehead Jack and Fire are two of the most bloodthirsty competitors. Given the events of the past few weeks and volatile situation of this match-up, I feel this is the match that could make the woman that I dubbed the Estrogen Molotov Cocktail finally explode.

The alliance between Darling and myself is not one that needs to be questioned, which if history has proven anything, is more than I can say for our opponents.

*fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin is in his cabin watching tape. Moonbeam (literally) stumbles in*

SFJ420: Dude, are you like, seriously watching tape?

DM: Well, yeah. I always watch tape.

SFJ420: Well, like, it sounded like you weren't taking it serious vs. Sanctuary this week.

DM: Salvation now.

SFJ420: Wow, they changed it up on you. UNCOOL, man.

DM: No. Just the person who wrote the sheet is an idiot, as usual. No big.

SFJ420: So, like, everyone's talking about you it feels like, man.

DM: Whatever.

SFJ420: That's all you're giving me is whatever?

DM: Wait, I'm on camera?

SFJ420: Yeah. Rolling live. All that bullshit.

DM: Thanks for telling me, Moony.

SFJ420: Not my job, man.

DM: Fine. Was there a question?

SFJ420: Yeah, any comments to everyone's comments about you?

DM: To be completely honest, I haven't been paying attention.

SFJ420: That's not like you.

DM: No, it's not.

SFJ420: Well, some people think you're joining the Five. Some people think you'll have an easier chance beating Alex for the title instead of Fire. And Moose just doesn't believe you at all.

DM: Oh.

SFJ420: Responses?

DM: Um...sure. Um, I've beaten Alexander and Fire plenty. Beating them again will be no big deal. One, both, I don't care. Just make the damn match. I'll show up.

SFJ420: Ok, what else?

DM: Ok, well, Moose doesn't believe me, that's fine. He doesn't have to believe me. He thought Bennett was a pretty good guy too. He's not always right. I just would ask him to think about what he and I have done in the OOWF, together. Moose is known for bloody feuds, right? I've been here over 3 years. We've had plenty of opportunities for one. Never happened. We team up randomly in a tag tournament, and simply fucking dominate the thing until we won the vague promise.

SFJ420: You didn't win a vague promise.

DM: Oh...you're SO wrong there, Moony.

SFJ420: Whatever, so what about you joining the Five?

DM: That one's easy. My faction days are behind me. I'm secure enough in my abilities that I don't need to lean on the crutch of a faction anymore.

SFJ420: Interesting answer.

DM: Ok, let me be more specific. Even if I were to join a faction again...which I'm not...but if I were, it wouldn't be a faction that includes Fatty Fatty Fat Fat and Poe the [redacted]. So I will not be joining the Five. If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve. To put it another way: No. No fucking way. Never. The end.

SFJ420: There's also some talk out there that this is some elaborate scheme to somehow mess with the Quinns.

DM: That's...retarded. You think I WANT to be related to that family? Dear God.

SFJ420: You're related to the Darlings.

DM: BY MARRIAGE!

SFJ420: So that makes it ok?

DM: I try not to think about it, all right? Sometimes I miss walking around here with a pole mumbling gibberish to myself. But things aren't that way anymore. I'm trying to win a title and cement my place as one of the absolute best to ever wander through the OOWF. I'm almost there. I will not be deterred or distracted from that. Anyone who doesn't like it? Tough shit. I came IN to this company for myself, and I will leave my legacy here for. my. self.

SFJ420: So to you, this changes nothing.

DM: It doesn't change Davin Moreland's ultimate goal, no. And if it weren't for my blushing bride, we wouldn't be HAVING this stupid conversation, anyway.

SFJ420: Well, here's a question...what about the wedding?

DM: What do you mean?

SFJ420: I imagine you'll be playing some role in the -

DM: Yeah. Well. We'll get to that if it ever comes up. Clearly, Firewoman inherited her crazy from the Moreland side of the family, so there's no telling what the fuck she'll do, or if the wedding will even happen, or what. So it's stupid to talk about hypotheticals this far out.

SFJ420: Would you agree if you were asked?

DM: Again. Hypothetical. Anything else?

SFJ420: Prediction for this week?

DM: Duh. PAIN!

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

*A dark match between 2 local indy wrestlers is underway. The crowd seems moderately interested. Suddenly, in the middle of the match, "Money Talks" by AC/DC starts playing. Wally B King struts down to ringside, grabs the microphone, and climbs into the ring. The wrestlers glare at Wally, and appear ready to join forces to toss him out of the ring, but Wally points up the ramp to where LD's Momma has stepped out. Wally then pulls out his pimproll, pulls off a few bills, and sends the wrestlers off to the back. He then signals for the music to stop*

WBK: It seems that a lot of the OOWF talent want to tell people what to do, how to think, how to behave. Do you guys want people to boss you around?

*A few members of the audience shout back "No!"*

WBK: Did you come here to be lectured?

*More shouts of "No!"*

WBK: Did you come here to have people talk down to you?

*Louder shouts of "No!"*

WBK: Or did you come here to have fun and watch wrestlers kick ass?

*Very loud "Yes!" from the crowd, and cheering and applause*

WBK: Well, in that case, these are the guys you came here to see.

*"Have a Drink on Me" plays, and Drink and Destroy enter, pushing shopping carts full of beer cans. Fans hop the railing to grab beers and exchange high fives and fist bumps with the wrestlers until security can restore order (which only can be accomplished after the beer runs out).

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is dressed in all white at a large cemetery behind a church in Kingstown, St. Vincent. Apparently they don't put pictures of those on the Internet. Anyway, assorted paraphernalia is scattered about, and the camera pans around....rum....cigars.....Florida water......various foods.....jar candles of white, red, black, purple, blue, gold. The ninjacam goes back to Firewoman who unwraps the white cloth on her head, and then recovers it with her black bandana over her forehead. She appears to be starting to get things together to head back, when a voice comes from off screen.

Eco: It's really a beautiful religion.

FW: *sarcastically* I'm glad you approve. I was so worried.

Eco: I don't care about your soul. Well, I do, but one step at a time.

FW: And you found me how?

Eco: Your attraction to very old cemeteries is well known. The sacredness of the first man and woman buried in cemetery is also known to anyone who studies different faiths. And, since this is the eve of your first meeting with Alexander since the.....incident.

FW: Incident. Nice word for it.

Eco: Thank you.

FW: It's also not the first..."meeting." Moose and I tagged against him right after......

Eco: You can't say it still. That's okay. I recall that match as well, and it was fairly intense and bloody. And you couldn't even say his name then.

FW: So?

Eco: So, I think that match is just a continuation of the "Incident," as we're calling it apparently. It wasn't until you took your break that the Incident itself was truly over, and healing began.

FW: Wow.....such new agey bull sh--

Eco: Regardless, your match tomorrow is a momentous occasion, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that you'd seek some sort of clarity from your gods.

FW: Some of the locals were more than happy to join in. Some folks just love a ritual. Also, they aren't gods, they're--

Eco: Spirits, whatever. So there, the ancestors, I recognize that.

*He looks around at the ground, and then steps on something he bends down to get a closer look, and it appears to be a hoof of some kind.*

Eco: Hrm...black pig?

FW: The locals ate most of it after the ritual.

Eco: So..*looking around at other stuff*....Erzulie Dantor? Revenge for women who have been injured by violence? *He shakes his head* That's not the way, Fire, and you know it.

FW: You keep saying that, and yet your every action is one of revenge. It might not be as gloriously violent as my ideal, but ... well, even your match against Ravenna....you're angry that she didn't join your crusade, and that she dared to do what every wrestler has done in a tag team match, and save their partner from a pin. You're pissed, Eco, and that makes you no better than me, or than any other wrestler in this company.

In fact, it makes you a hypocrite because you won't admit it.

Eco's blood boils and he clenches his fists, but doesn't react. Fire sees it though.

FW: Hit a nerve? Well think about that before you give me any more lectures about Right Action, Buddha. My days of you as my guru are done.

Eco: *deeply annoyed* I fully admit my anger and frustration with ... with lots of things. But you still need someone in your corner to show you the right way, and even though you push me away, I'm not going anywhere. No matter what your psychopathic brother says. No matter how much an insufferable bitch you are to me.

FW: I think the title is Estrogen Molotov Cocktail.

Eco: Saw that, eh?

FW: I quite like it. So what's your big words of wisdom this week?

Eco: Simple. Wrestle your match. Don't go for the revenge, get your revenge by a clean victory. Blood or blood has never solved anything. You've tried that and it hasn't eased your mind or soothed your soul. If you go down the darker path, you just empower your enemy that much more.

FW: Uh huh... That's what I thought. See you back at the Arena.

Eco: Fine. Do it again.

FW: Do what again?

Eco: You don't want to have to be smuggled out of another country, do you?

Firewoman glares at Eco for a minute, and then goes back to packing up her stuff. Eco stands there for a minute and then heads out of the cemetery.

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Kingstown, St. Vincent

<Father Lou is walking down a corridor of the SS Tytanik when someone reaches out from a cabin door and pulls him inside. Father Lou yells in fright, and we hear him yell “I am a man of the cloth! I mean you no harm and I expect none in return!” Just then the lights come on and we see EVERYONE in the OOWF standing around a large birthday cake GM the Rick steps forward and clears his throat, and in unison, everyone sings……

“Happy Birthday to Lou
Happy Birthday to Lou
Happy Birthday to our #1 Superfan
Happy Birthday to Looooooou”

…….there is a round of applause, and we hear sodas and beer being opened as Lou cuts the cake.>

– Happy Birthday Lou, our ONLY fan, from everyone in the OOWF.

NOTHING HAPPENED vs. SALVATION

Alexis Darling and Davin Moreland come out in their matching hoodies, to the cheers of the crowd. Tytan and Damon come out after to cheers also. It's facy team v. facy team. How exciting. The members of Salvation look pretty confident as Darling/Moreland haven't managed to get above .500 yet. But "Nothing Happened" looks like they're ready for action, and so is Mel Creech who calls for the bell. Looks like its Alexis Darling and Damon Wrath to start. Wrath and Darling circle each other. Wrath fakes going in for the leg a few times, but Darling is too fast, and she keeps just out of arm's reach. Finally Wrath commits, and Alexis dodges again, catching him a drop toe hold. She goes up top early for a moonsault, hits it, and rolls Wrath over, but Wrath is able to get both shoulders up before Alexis can do anything for a pin. Unfortunately, she's put herself in a bad position, and Wrath is able to put one of his MMA holds on her, getting her in a front face lock, and driving elbows into her back. He falls backward and looks like he wants to apply body scissors with his legs, to go for the quick tap out, but Alexis flips over into a Last Chancery! What flexibility! Wrath waves his arms, trying not to tap. Finally, Tytan comes into break up the hold, and Creech sends him back to the corner.

Wrath grabs Alexis again around the neck in a headlock and walks her to Salvation's corner, tagging in Tytan. He hands Darling off to Tytan, and Tytan lands a DDT, and rolls Darling over for a 2-count. Alexis gets her shoulder up, but Tytan is able to drag her by the arm over to the far neutral corner. Moreland heads that way to help, but is waived off by Creech. Moreland heads back to his corner to grab the tag rope, while Tytan picks up Alexis and ties her up in the Tree of Woe for the Corporate Takeover! He commences with the beat down, but Creech is too busy discussing the finer points of tag team rules and regulations. Tytan gets in a pretty good round of offense before Creech turns back around, having answered Davin's questions satisfactorily, and notices that he should probably intervene. Tytan uses up every bit of his five-count before he backs off, and Alexis falls to the floor in a heap. Tytan picks her up and this time sits her on the turnbuckle, and hits The Eclipsed. Alexis is potentially out, so Tytan makes the pin, one...two....no! she gets a shoulder up! Tytan is amused, and drags her by the arm over to his corner where he tags in Wrath.

Wrath comes in and immediately lifts Alexis up into the torture rack to try and hit his Vengeful Anger, but YOU CAN'T GTS ALEXIS DARLING. She wriggles free and hits the ropes, slingshotting off the top with an enziguiri, and then heads to her corner to tag in Davin.

Davin Moreland comes in a house o' fire, and knocks Wrath down with clothesline after clothesline (since Wrath keeps popping up after each one). Davin grabs Wrath by the arm, and throws him HARD against the ropes, and as he bounces off, gets him up and over with a big release suplex. Wrath goes flying and Davin follows up with Garvin stomps. Tytan protest, and Davin turns around with an elbow that knocks him to the floor. He turns his attention to Wrath, who is back up on his feet (but barely). Davin runs back to the ropes to fly off for a Really Good Diamond Cutter, but Wrath dodges and turns it into a Neckbreaker. Wrath pounces on and locks in the Crossface. Davin reaches for the ropes and just barely can get them. Alexis, meanwhile, jumps down to the floor to encourage her partner. In doing so, she puts one arm on the bottom rope, inadvertently pushing it in. Creech yells her off, but it was just enough that Davin can grab it. Creech starts the count to break the hold, and Wrath does around four. Meanwhile, Tytan is offended by this and comes around to confront Alexis. Alexis spots him and backs up as he stalks her, but she gets a running start and basically tackles him into the steel steps. She hops in the ring, and she and Davin exchange simultaneous throat slashes. They grab Wrath and hit a Really Good Darling Driver Diamond Cutter! Wrath is down and Davin makes the pin. Tytan rolls into break it up, and he's greeted with a Superkick by Alexis. Creech counts it out one...two...THREE!
WINNERS in 14:44 – Nothing Happened


SANCTUM vs. ECOSYSTEM & TYLER VANGARD

PA: Soon I know you'll see...YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME!

"Snow White Queen" by Evanescence hits the OOTron. Ravenna and Gryfon come out to huge cheers, though the audience is obviously more favorable to Ravenna, with "Blue, Blue, Blue!" chants breaking out. Both hit the ropes following a few hand slaps and stare up ring. There is a gap of silence and the audience begins to become restless until...

PA: My God, My Tourniquet...RETURN TO ME SALVATION!

"SAVE.US.ECO" appears on the OOTron to massive boos as Ecosystem and Tyler Vangarde come out together as Evanescence's "Tourniquet" plays. The symmetry does not go unnoticed.

Tyler: It appears we have a treat for you all tonight--the return of your favorite tag team, the Defenstrators. (Scattered cheers) Except...somehow, it's different. Somehow, the self-destrucive lifestyle, the droll contempt for societal order disguised as humor...it's all melted away.

Eco: At the end of the day, we were faced with a choice: force ourselves to deal with the reality around us, or play make-believe forever.

Ravenna: (taking the microphone) Listen Juni, will you stop pontificating for a minute. (Cheers.) Come down to the ring, and we'll see who's playing make-believe. (Louder cheers)

Tyler and Eco oblige, with Eco rolling into the ring. Ravenna Blue and Ecosystem begin to stare each other down, but Gryfon asks to go in against Eco. Ravenna obliges, and Gryfon runs in and ties up with Eco. Gryfon backs Eco into the corner and begins laying in with chops. Eco ducks a third chop, kicking Gryfon in the gut as he spins around. DDT to the ground, Ecosystem goes for the cover, quick 1-count before Gryfon kicks out. Ecosystem whips Gryfon into Salvation's corner, and Tyler holds him as he splashes Gryfon. Tag to Vangarde, who enters the ring as Eco drops to a crawling position. Vangarde jumps off him and nails CTG with the Poetry in Motion as Eco rolls out of the ring.

Razz: Ya see, JR, tag teams don't forget nothin'. Could be a month or two years, they still got that stuff in 'em.
JR: Well, Ravenna and Gryfon have been working together quite a while themselves.

Tyler begins choking Gryfon out on the ropes, only breaking before the five-count after prompted by Eco. He whips Gryfon into the ropes and takes him down with a high knee. He rolls on top to go for a crossface, but Gryfon picks him up and drops him back down with a modified Samoan Drop. Tyler pops up and catches Gryfon in the shoulder with a spinning kick, but CTG clips his other leg and he falls over. Gryfon off the ropes, ensuguri kick to Tyler's head! He goes for the cover, but Vangarde kicks out at two. Gryfon goes for the tag on Ravenna, who flips over the ropes and drops her leg across the back of Tyler's neck. She goes for the cover, but Vangarde gets his foot on the ropes at one. Ravenna bounds off the outside ropes and goes for a rolling thunder...but Tyler rolls outside of the ring.

Tyler stumbles back to catch his breath, but Ravenna goes for the rolling thunder over the ropes, catching Tyler with her legs but landing hard down on her back. Both wrestlers are down on the outside. The referee starts the count: 1...2...3...4...5...Ravenna rolls back in the ring...6..7....8...Tyler gets back in. Ravenna drops down and puts Tyler in a dragon sleeper, but he pulls himself up and power slams her to the ground. He drops down and begins raining closed fists until grabbed by the referee. Tyler gets up and threatens the referee, until Eco physically enters the ring to pull him back. As Eco leaves, Ravenna pops up with a front Ace Crusher, knocking Tyler back on his back. Ravenna goes for a cover, but gets a two-count. Tyler catches Ravenna with a quick thumb to the eye followed by a kick to the jaw, causing her to stumble back. He staggers back and slaps a tag on Eco, who runs into the ring--and stops abruptly. Ravenna and Eco stare each other down.

JR: And here we go!

Ravenna offers a tie-up to Eco and they lock up. Ravenna moves to a side headlock, Eco elbows her in the gut but she flips him over and takes him down. Eco pulls up his legs and puts Ravenna in head scissors, breaking from the headlock. Ravenna edges herself to the ropes, getting the break. Eco bounds off the opposite ropes and goes for a baseball slide to Ravenna's head, but she sits up and he slides out of the ring. Ravenna hops through the ropes and takes Eco down with a suicide dive. She begins to lay into him on the floor, but he monkey flips her off. He hops onto the barricade and comes off with a flying burrito, catching Ravenna across the sternum. Both wrestlers are down as the referee again starts the count. 1....2....3.....4....Ecosystem rolls into the ring, motioning for Tyler to not touch Ravenna....5....6.....7....Gryfon walks over toward Ravenna, but she is getting herself up....8....Ravenna rolls into the ring on 9, but is met with an elbow drop across her back by Eco. Ecosystem picks Ravenna up and whips her into the ropes, Ravenna comes off with a running senton taking Eco off his feet. She hooks the leg and goes for the cover, 1-2-kickout. Ravenna backs up toward her corner, breathing heavily, and Gryfon tags himself in.

Gryfon begins chopping Ecosystem back until he actually chops him off his feet. Off the ropes, Gryfon catches Eco with a baseball slide to the face, sending him back sprawling. Gryfon gestures to the audience that he's feeling it, and they cheer wildly. He goes to the top rope and comes off with a beautiful moonsault--and he crashes to the ground as Eco dodges. Gryfon begins to push himself up, but Eco catches him with a running punt to the head, putting him down. Instead of going for the cover, Ecosystem walks over to the side of the ring and takes a microphone to tremendous boos.

Eco: (walking back to Gryfon.) Look at him! Look at him, Ravenna! (Crowd chanting "Eco sucks! Eco sucks!") This is not the man to save the OOWF. This is not a man ready to be your partner. Why can't you see what I see, why can't--

Ravenna takes a couple steps into the ring , but is speared down by Vangarde. Eco suddenly gets PISSED, drops the mic and gets in Vangarde's face.

Eco: The FUCK are you doing?
Vangarde: You like winning matches, win a match!

Just then, Ravenna jumps up and dropkicks Vangarde, sendng him out of the ring. Eco and Ravenna stare down for a second. From behind, Gryfon rolls Eco up, Eco kicks out at two, pissed. He bounces off the ropes with a clothesline attempt, but Gryfon catches him with a neckbreaker. Another cover, count of two. Ecosystem, seemingly running on fumes, pops back up AGAIN and kicks Gryfon in the gut, following through with an axe kick after which he collapses. Both wrestlers are laid out as the ref begins counting. They both make it up by three, and Eco takes a swing at Gryfon, but Gryfon ducks and grabs Eco around for an atomic drop. Thinking it was a low blow, Tyler runs into the ring and spears CTG--but Ravenna grabs his shoulder and gives him a codebreaker to send him rolling out of the ring! As Ravenna staggers back around, she is met with a superkick from Eco matching the one she hit him with last week! She falls back out of the ring.

Eco turns around and is belly-to-belly suplexed by CTG! Gryfon runs at Eco with a spear, but Eco half-reverses such that CTG also catches some of his weight on his head. A woozy Gryfon stands up swaying, but looking at a prone Eco. Staggering, CTG goes to the outside and comes off the ropes with a flying plancha, but Eco ducks out of the way. Gryfon pops up off the campus, stunned as Eco grabs the neck around--ENDGAME! ENDGAME! Ecosystem goes for the pin...1-2-3!
WINNERS in 16:47.....Ecosystem and Tyler Vangarde, Salvation!

JR: And Vangarde's losing streak is finally broken, thanks to Ecosystem!
Razz: Yeah, but the boss ain't thinking about that right now.

Ecosystem stands up as CTG clutches his neck from the elbow to his trachea. Eco walks up the ramp and perches there with Tyler by his side as Ravenna tends to CTG in the ring.

Eco: (breathing heavily) Take care of him, Ravenna. Dress his wounds. But when you're done being the Good Samaritan...leave him by the road where you found him.

The crowd continues booing the SHIT out of Ecosystem and Tyler as they head to the back.

ALEXANDER DARLING & CHRIS EVANS vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK & FIREWOMAN

Its time for what should an interesting tag team match as the 4 combatants have a lot of complicated history between them. Marilyn Manson’s “Arma-goddamn-motherfuckin-geddon” blares over the sound system here in Kingstown and the Quinn siblings make their way out from the back to thunderous boos. The Quinns look totally focused as they make their way down to ringside and slide into the ring. Referee Junior Hale checks them over and makes sure Firewoman isn’t hiding anything under her black bandana that covers her forehead. She tightens it up as “I Stand Alone” by Godsmack begins to play and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Alexander Darling and his partner Chris Evans step out from the back. Tough to see Alexander’s emotions under his black and green mask, but Evans looks ready for action as he’s hopping back and forth in anticipation. Once the music hits the high note, Alexander and Evans bump knuckles and run down towards the ring and before Hale can check them over, the fight is underway.

Moose cuts off Alexander before he can get to Fire and that long, bloody war kicks off once again as Firewoman and Evans fight their way to the outside. Moose and Darling are slugging it out as Hale tries to get control and he finally separates them and pushes them back into their corner and while both are frothing at the bit to get at one another, it seems neither is willing to risk the DQ and they stay in their corners as Firewoman and Evans slide back into the ring and begin this match for real. Evans whips Fire into the corner and tries to follow her in but Fire slides out of the way and throws a back kick that connects and sends CE staggering. Firewoman is quick to stay on the offense as she climbs to the top rope and connects with a MISSILE DROPKICK that sends Evans rolling into the corner. Now it’s Firewoman’s turn to charge as she connects with a hard knee to Evans skull and tags in her brother Moose. MHJ comes in and starts peppering Evans with forearms as he tries to fight back to his feet. MHJ with a snap mare before tagging Fire back in. Fire hits the far ropes just out of reach of Alex and connects with a kick to Evans chest just as Moose kicks him hard in the back. Moose steps back to the apron just in time for Firewoman to tag him in once again. Moose comes back in and sends Evans towards the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but CE ducks under hits the ropes again and comes off with a cross body block. Evans rolls off and dives to his corner to make the tag to Alex just as MHJ gets back to his feet.

The stare down between Moose and Alex is epic in its history, but we’re in the present and that’s the middle of a match. Moose goes for the first move as he throws an overhand right and Alex blocks it before connecting with a knee to Moose’s gut. AD sends Moose to the ropes and connects with a back elbow as he bounces off. And then Darling hits the ropes himself before connecting with a quick leg drop across Moose’s throat. Alex follows it up by lifting Moose off the mat and he locks him up…GOD’S LAST GIFT. He has him pinned…

1…
2…
No, Moose gets his shoulder off the mat. That was almost it, but Alex doesn’t let the frustration get to him as he tags in Evans who flies off the top with a EUROPEAN UPPERCUT that sends Moose staggering. MHJ tries to get his bearings and charges at Evans, but CE sidesteps and takes Moose down with a beautiful STO. He looks to stay on the offense as he leans down to pick Moose up, but Moose is a cagey veteran and pokes Evans in the eyes. Hale is admonishing MHJ, but he doesn’t care as he gets back to his corner and tags in his sister. Firewoman flies in and takes Evans down with a clothesline. She stays on the attack and lifts Evans up and plants him with a MICHINOKU DRIVER near the corner. And she looks to the corner…STARSHIP PAIN and it connects. She makes the cover…

One…
Two…
Thr…Nooooo, Alexander gets in the ring and drags Firewoman off his partner. She turns to glare at her former ally, but he’s not standing there long as Moose is in and tosses him hard to the outside. It looks like Moose is going to follow and let the violence escalate on the outside, but Firewoman grabs her brother around the ankle and stops him. She’s arguing with him that she needs to beat Alex clean and Moose is arguing that he wants to kill Alex. Such an eternal struggle between the Quinns, but it looks like they won’t find out the winner as Evans and Alex both get back up and hit stereo dropkicks on their opponents. Alex goes right after Moose while Evans and Fire pick up where they left off. Alex lifts Moose up…CRUCIFIX BOMB. And they roll to the outside as Evans sends Fire to the corner and when she comes out…EYE OF THE STORM right between the eyes. Evans thinks this is his chance to make the cover…

One…
Two…
Th…No, Firewoman kicks out. Evans slams the mat in frustration and begins to circle the ring waiting for Firewoman to get back to her feet. As Fire struggles back to her feet she looks around the ring and notices her black bandana is lying on the mat. She instinctively runs her hand across her forehead and a dark, dark look crosses her face as she charges CE. Meanwhile, Hale is trying to gain control of Moose and Darling on the outside and he doesn’t realize what’s going on inside the ring. Firewoman has taken the garrote she wears around her neck off and it looks like she’s stalking Evans with it. Hale finally gets Alexander back into the ring, but he doesn’t stay their long as he hits the ropes and comes flying towards Moose…TOPE CON HILO and Alex lands on his feet just as Hale gets out of the way. Firewoman finally is about the get the garrote around Evans’ neck when she looks to the outside and sees Alex landing. She takes a deep breath before tossing the garrote aside and it looks like it costs her as Evans gets the INSIDE CRADLE, but Hale’s still on the outside…just for an extra second or two…

One…
Two…
No, Firewoman’s able to kick out once again. Evans gets back to his feet and looks to lock in the ICARUS WINGS, but Fire fights it off and back body drops Evans and before he can get to his feet, Fire connects with a picturesque LIONSAULT. Evans is down and Fire stays on the attack as she locks up Evans’ legs…FIRESTOMP. And Fire looks to finish it as she hits the corner…

BEST
FIRESAULT
Evans rolls out of the way and Firewoman lands on her feet. Firewoman charges towards Evans and goes for a MAFIA KICK, but Evans ducks it and goes for the CLOTHESLINE FROM HADES, but Firewoman rolls through and under. Evans gets all turned around and walks right into a kick from Fire. And Fire follows it up…VOODOO DROP and Fire makes the cover.

One…Alex realizes what’s going on.
Two…He gets to the apron, but won’t make it.
Three!!!

Moosehead Jack & Firewoman win. Alex is staring in from the outside and he doesn’t see Moose coming from behind and MHJ spins him around, HEARTPUNCH staggers Alex just enough to give Moose enough room…RANHEI on the floor and Alex is laid out. Firewoman looks annoyed in the ring as he hand gets raised and she then joins her brother on the outside as they make their way up the ramp. They seem to be having another heated discussion, but it doesn’t change the outcome.
WINNERS in 15:19…Firewoman & Moosehead Jack.

LD WILLIAMS vs. STAN FULTON vs. MATT FOLZ vs. SPIN HANSEN – OOWF Onslaught Championship Fatal Four Way

OOWF newcomer Stan Fulton is introduced first, to a negative crowd reaction. The crowd picks up as former Onslaught champion Spin Hanson is introduced, clearly the fan favorite for this match. Another former Onslaught champ Matt Folz is introduced next, and instead of calmly walking to the ring like he always does, he's actually sprinting. Running right into the ring and immediately exchanging right hands with Fulton before the bell rings. Spin tries to join in, and gets a kick to the gut and a DDT from Folz. Folz turns his attention back to Fulton, hooking his arms around him and delivering a massive overhead belly to belly suplex that send Fulton over the top rope. Replays show Fulton's head hitting the floor hard as Folz slides out of the ring, grabs a chair from under the apron and delivers a chair shot to Fulton's head. Back in the ring, Spin's just getting back to his feet as NOW LD Williams is introduced. Hitting the ring, picking Spin up and hitting the Canadian Destroyer. Folz and LD roll Spin out of the ring, shake hands and the bell rings for what is now at least temporarily a one on one match.

Folz shoots in and takes LD down with a nice amateur double leg takedown and quickly follows that up with a half nelson cradle for 2. Folz shoots in and takes LD down again, then grabs a side headlock. LD powers up, pushes Folz off the ropes and hits a drop toe hold followed by a quick elbow drop to the back of Folz's head. Snap suplex by LD gets 2. Swinging Neckbreaker gets 2. Folz temporarily gets back to his feet only to be taken right back down by a short clothesline. Nice pin fall reversal sequence as LD grabs Folz's legs and bridges for a 2 count, reversed by Folz for 2, reversed again by LD for another 2 count. Crowd cheering for that as both men get back to their feet, and even Folz is smiling and applauding. Collar and elbow tie-up, LD shoots Folz off the ropes, Folz ducks a clothesline, grabs LD from behind, Folzmission locked in, right in the center of the ring. LD struggling, trying to fight his way to the ropes, but Folz has it locked in tight we're only moments away from a new Onslaught champion...until Fulton comes in and drops an elbow on Folz to break it up. LD gets back to his feet and tags out to Fulton, as Folz tags in Spin.

The two big men going at it hard, brawling and exchanging big right hands. Spin sends Fulton off the ropes, hitting him with a big Spinebuster....1, 2, Broken up by LD. Fulton back on his feet, hitting a low blow on Spin as the referee is escorting LD out of the ring. Belly to Belly suplex gets 2. Headbutt gets 2. Fulton goes to the middle rope, looking to hit The Crusher, but Spin rolls out of the way and rolls to tag Folz.

Folz immediately going to work on Fulton, hitting a running drop kick right to his face. Following that up by again getting the big man off his feet with a fisherman's suplex that gets two before being broken up by LD. Folz tries another belly to belly suplex, but Fulton reverses into his own. Fulton whips Folz into the corner, charges in looking for an avalanche in the corner but Folz moves out of the way just at the last instant, Fulton hitting the turnbuckles hard. Folz back up to his feet, placing Fulton on the top rope, climbing up, Lambeau Leap connects but Folz hits his head hard on the way down as well, too out of it to cover. Folz staggers to his feet, but unfortunately too close to LD Williams, who makes a blind tag, clotheslines Folz out of the ring, runs across the room to knock Spin off the apron, and covers Fulton himself, 1...2...3.
WINNER by pin fall in 7:30: LD Williams


TEXPRESS vs. POE & STANK vs. OUTBACK JACK & DH MAGNUSSON – OOWF World Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match

Drink and Destroy are announced and come out first through the crowd, and they are wildly popular with the fans. Takes them a little longer than normal to get to the ring because the fans are so enthusiastic. They finally make it to the ring and climb in and the crowd roars even louder. Poe and Stank are announced next, and they come out to the ring with a snarl on their faces. Selena leads them to the ring and they ignore the fans, Selena pie faces a few of them who try to touch her, and Poe threatens them with death. The step between the ropes and Selena waits on the outside. Finally the OOWF World Tag Team Champions Texpress are announced and Chad Madison and Zane Myers come out and the roof nearly comes off the arena. Chad and Zane make their way to the ring, but barely get through the ropes when Poe and Stank attack. The referee calls for the bell and this one is ON!

Stank grabs Madison and throws him over the top rope to the floor then helps Poe hammer on Myers. Jack and Magnusson get into the fray as well. Jack slips out of the ring and grabs Madison and slams him back first into the ring apron. Inside the ring, Magnusson pulls Stank off of Myers and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Stank drops a forearm to the back of his head, then grabs him and shoots him face first between the turn buckles into the ring post. DH slumps to the mat and Stank charges in and slams a knee into his face, then puts the boots to him. Magnusson has already been split open and blood is gushing off his face.

Across the ring Myers fight back with Poe and the two big men trade rights and lefts to the face. Myers blocks a shot from Poe and slips behind him and catches him with a kick to the back of the leg. Myers hammers the back of Poe’s leg sending the big man to one knee then sending him to the mat with an enzuguri to the back of the head. Poe rolls out of the ring, where he is immediately speared by a charging Outback Jack. Jack grabs Poe and hammers him with punches to the face. Madison slips back into the ring and he and Myers grab Stank off of Magnusson in the corner and take him to the mat with a double belly to back suplex. Stank grabs the back of his head in pain, the referee is trying to restore some sense of order in this one. Madison steps onto the apron, Magnusson rolls to the floor and tries to collect himself, then gets a few kicks in on Poe before they all head to the right corners. Finally with everyone where they are supposed to be, Myers has Stank on the mat in a side head lock, grinding his neck. Stank works to his feet and shoves Myers to the ropes, the two big men meet in the middle of the ring with matching shoulder blocks, but neither one budges. Myers bounds off the ropes again and ducks a clothesline from Stank and Jack makes the blind tag. On the rebound, Stank catches Myers with a hip toss, but when he turns around Jack catches him with a running high knee to the jaw that sends the big man to one knee. Jack bounces off the ropes and catches Stank with a boot to the jaw that sends him to the mat.

Jack slips out of the ring and pulls Stank out so his head is hanging off the apron, then drops an elbow across his throat. He keeps Stank there then climbs onto the apron and drops a leg across his chest then slides into the ring and pulls Stank in and covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Jack pulls him to his feet and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Stank reverses it and nearly decapitates Jack with a clothesline. Stank drags Jack to the corner and tags in Poe. Poe comes in and they pull Jack to his feet and BLISTER him with chops. Poe sends him to the opposite corner and as he staggers out, Poe catches him with a boot to the face that almost sends his head to the tenth row. Poe covers, but Jack rolls his shoulder at two. The camera pans over to Magnusson and we see that he has a nasty knot on his head and he is pouring blood. He is not looking so good right about now.

Poe pulls Jack to his feet and scoops him up and hefts him over his shoulder and is about to charge into the corner when Jack slips off his shoulder and shoves Poe into the corner. Poe hits sternum first and Jack catches him with a lung blower, then crawls across the ring and tags in Chad Madison. Madison comes in and waits for Poe to get to his feet and hits him with a spinning heel kick that knocks Poe into the ropes Madison comes after him but Poe rakes the eyes, then sends Madison across the ring with a forearm to the jaw. Madison rolls through and gets to his feet quickly and catches Poe with a drop kick to the knee that sends him to the mat. Madison slips out onto the apron and waits for Poe to stand up, then springs to the top rope, leaps on Poe and tries a hurracarana, but Poe catches him. Before Poe can drive him to the mat, Madison slips over Poe’s shoulders and slides down his back and tries to take him over with a sunset flip, Poe grabs him by the throat and pulls him to his feet and slams him in the face with a head butt, then goozles him for a chokeslam, but Madison elbows out of it and bounces off the ropes and collides with Magnusson. The referee counts it as a tag despite Madison’t protests. Poe turns and heads to his corner, but Myers reaches out and tags himself in, which annoys Poe greatly.

Myers comes in and catches a staggering Magnusson with a knee to the face. DH takes a couple of swings at Myers, but Zane easily avoids them. DH looks a little glassy eyes, and the blood is still pouring from his head. The referee might want to consider stopping this. Magnusson swings and Myers catches him with a spinning front kick to the side of the head that sends him back into the corner. Myers moves in and picks up Magnusson and sets him on the top rope and hooks him for a MUSCLE BUSTER! Myers turns and walks out of the corner and Poe comes in and KILLS Myers with a HIEROGLYPH! Magnusson and Myers are both down, the referee turns to get Poe out of the ring, while he is doing that, Madison races around the ring and grabs Myers arm and drapes it across Magnusson’s chest. The referee finally gets people where they belong, turns around and sees the pin and counts, one, two, THREE! Poe, Stank and Jack all protest, but to no avail.
WINNERS in 26:14 and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions - Texpress

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