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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 15:58:00 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Kingstown, St. Vincents
OOWF World Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match[/u] Texpress vs. Poe & Stank vs. Outback Jack & DH Magnusson
OOWF Onslaught Championship Fatal Four Way[/u] LD Williams vs. Spin Hansen vs. Matt Folz vs. Stan Fulton
Alexander Darling & Chris Evans vs. Firewoman & Moosehead Jack Ravenna Blue & Concrete TG vs. Ecosystem & Tyler Vangard Nothing Happened vs. Salvation
card subject to oil spill
[Edited to finally fix the Sanctum/Salvation thing. Salvation in this case is Tytan and Damon. Clearly I am the last one to realize this mistake]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:12:22 GMT -5
(Eco storms into the Rick's makeshift office post-match, flanked by Salvation.) GMtR: What the-- Eco: RICK! Listen to me right the FUCK now. GMtR: What's going on? Tytan: He's a little angry. Damon: Hot under the collar. Eco: Listen, Rick. In case you FUCKING missed it, I lost my--OUR match by pinfall, and worse, I lost it when I was pinned by that GOOD FOR NOTHING UNGRATEFUL ARROGANT, SPOILED, PAMPERED, SADISTIC, MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH that we call our CHAMPION, Alexander Darling. GMtR: I remember, I watched it. Eco: (starts laughing) He watched it. Hey guys, did you hear that? HA HA HA! He WATCHED the FUCKING MATCH! HA HA HA! (Tytan, Damon, and Tyler back up a bit.) Eco: Let's play a little memory game, shall we? Want to go for a jog with me, Rick? A little memory jog? Jog your FUCKING MEMORY? Do you remember WHY I lost that match? GMtR: Because Alexander Darling pin- Eco: WRONGGGGGG!!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGGGGG!!!!I did not lose that match because of ANYTHING DONE by that GOOD FOR NOTHING, WORTHLESS, UNGRATEFUL, ARROGANT, CONTEMPTIBLE, SPOILED, WHINY, PAMPERED, WRETCHED, SADISTIC, DESPICABLE MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH Alexander PIECE OF SHIT Darling! No no no no no NO! Let's go to the tape, shall we. DAMON! Wrath: I...I brought my laptop. Eco: OPEN IT! (Damon opens his laptop, presses play.) Eco: That's right. Right there. That's what happened. Ravenna Blue, PARAGON of VIRTUE, sneaks in the ring and superkicks me, leading to ME taking the fall for our team. Tyler: Pssh. You really care about this win-loss thing, don't you? (Eco turns around and gets in Tyler's face.) Eco: Did I ask for your opinion, Tyler? You who were so fucking busy locking your little submission hold on Gryfon that you couldn't be bothered to break up the pin on me? Why don't you get the FUCK out of here before you decide to volunteer any more comments? Tyler: Oh, you're blaming me now for not helping you out? Eco: Are you unclear on HOW A TAG TEAM MATCH WORKS, Tyler? Tag Team! We won those fucking belts together, Tyler! If I can't rely on my partners, how the FUCK-- Tytan: (booming) SHUT UP! (Eco, Tyler, Damon, and GM the Rick stop and look at Tytan.) Tytan: (quietly) I don't need to hear this now. You two need to cool off and separate. Tyler: Hey, he-- Tytan: I meant NOW. Tyler, you're going to leave with me and Damon. Eco, finish whatever business you need to finish, and then walk it the fuck off before you come back, got it? Eco: ...Got it. Tytan: Good. Tyler? Tyler: I don't see why-- Tytan: Damon? (Damon Wrath picks Tyler up and carries him out as Tytan follows.) GMtR: So what do you want? Eco: Give me Ravenna at Storming the Beach, Rick. Let us go at it, one on one. No distractions, no interference. GMtR: Well, I'll see if-- Eco: Hell, give us a cage. Give us a cage, keep everyone out. GMtR: Hold on, hold on. We might be able-- Eco: And if she loses...if Ravenna loses, she's got to drop this. She's got to not let...not let...she can't be handing fucking Alexander Darling wins...that's it, if she loses, she's in Salvation. GMtR: Juni... Eco: Yes. That's it. Ecosystem v. Ravenna Blue, steel cage match, at Storming the Beach-- GMtR: Juni-- Eco: And if she loses, she's in Salvation. Just imagine, Salvation with Ravenna attached-- GMtR: JUNI! Eco: WHAT? GMtR: Calm down. Eco: FINE. GMtR: You want a match with Ravenna at Storming the Beach. I will check, I can probably do that. You want a cage. We'll have to look at the rest of the card, maybe it could happen. Eco: And for Salvation-- GMtR: About joining your little club? That's something you've got to work out yourself. I guarantee you're going to have to offer her something big to get that stipulation though. Eco: Rick... GMtR: That's all you're getting from me. Eco: Rick...I have had your back...I am stopping this company from getting out of control. GMtR: JUNI! Take Tytan's advice--I can't believe I'm saying this--walk around, calm down, and get back to me. But that's all you're getting from me now. Eco: ... GMtR: Leave. Eco: ... GMtR: Now. (Eco turns around and storms out.) FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:12:44 GMT -5
i]Firewoman is standing outside GM the Rick's office door when Eco storms out, and she begins smiling.
Eco: And just what the FUCK do you think is so FUNNY?
FW: Not amused. Just impressed.
Eco: I am not. Get out of my wa--
He goes to push her aside.
FW: I really don't think you want to do that. I've got a lot of aggression that is just BEGGING for an outlet right now.
Eco: Don't even think about it.
FW: ....
Eco: ....
FW: Well, it seems we are at an impasse--
Eco: What do you want?
FW: Nothing. Maybe now that you see what I'm dealing with in my own issues with Darling, drop the peace, love, and tofu routine, and realize that the only way to deal with him is my way.
Eco: Which way is that? Leaving him drawn and quartered in an alley?
Firewoman smiles, almost triumphantly.
FW: Ravenna's not your real problem here...Taking it out on her is...well, that's something one of the Five might do....
Eco: Are we done here?
FW: Sure. For now. Oh, by the way, welcome to the dark side.
Ecosystem storms off.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:13:04 GMT -5
Again, we fade in to find The Crusher in an empty arena with a mic... reminiscent of the old AWA promos...
"Do you know what excellence is? I'll tell you. It's coming into a company and within a week being booked in a championship match. It's showing your new employers that you are the best in the world and they're lucky to have you.
"I am that man. The Crusher.
"Last week I made my OOWF debut against a curtain jerker by the name of Father Flame or Cardinal Candle or some stupid thing. But already the OOWF sees that The Crusher is the future of this company. ONE MATCH! ONE MATCH! One squash match and GMtheRick puts me in a championship match. That ... is excellence.
"And in a fatal four-way? Perfect. I can hurt three guys at the same time.
"Matt Folz ... suplex machine of the OOWF. Do you REALLY THINK YOU CAN GET ME OFF THE GROUND, LITTLE MAN?! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET YOUR ARMS AROUND THE CRUSHER?! You could barely win your match against Firewoman; and that was with Darling's help. Flamey-boy last week couldn't even get me off my feet. You won't do any better.
"Spin and LD. You are both similar in style to me. But there are two differences which are going to cause you to lose. One, The Crusher is much bigger than you. And two, he hasn't been brainwashed into the "entertainment" aspects of this business. Swimming pools and massages? Chambers of Doom? Kidnapping? Revenge? These are reality show plots and material for TV drama scripts! THIS IS WRESTLING!
"I'm not here to prance around backstage and let ninja cameramen follow my every move. I am here for one thing. Winning ... championships. Eco, you say everyone needs someone. How's that working out for ya? The only people I need are opponents I can beat. Wrestlers I can hurt.
"So, LD, polish up that belt. Because The Crusher Stan Fulton is coming for it."
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:14:32 GMT -5
Zane and Chad are boarding the ship bound for St. Vincents when they find themselves in queque behind Davin Moreland and his lovely Bride, Samantha Darling-Moreland
Davin: (as the guys exchange knuckle-bumps) Congrats guys. Good to see you come out on top again.
Zane: I'm glad your services as a second were not necessary.
Davin: No Shit... err. crap (Sam stares at him and Davin shrugs and points to Zane)
Chad: Hey! I booked some hottub time for this week. A few of the Female Journalists will be there, why don't you and Sam join us then?
Sam: I.... I'm not sure....
Davin: We'll see. Got to have time to prepare to face Sanctuary.
Zane: Sanctuary? You mean Sanctum?
Davin: Nope. Booking sheet clearly says "Sanctuary". Ever heard of them?
Chad: (looking at Zane) Weren't those the guys in New Zealand who wore the monk robes?
Zane: No.
Davin: Ehh, not a big deal. It's a curtain-jerk assignment.
Chad: And back-to-back main events for us! Whoohooo!
(The horn blows and the line begins to move as they board the ship)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:14:53 GMT -5
Firewoman and Lucky are sitting in the bar of the HMS Tytanik
L: Two more Jameson's, Isaac.
FW: We don't need more, we're done.
L: We're not done, Fire. What music do you want to come in to?
FW: We can't just use my entrance music?
L: "Flame On" is not appropriate bridal entrance music. Now, Pachelbel's Canon in D is nice, but everyone uses that....what about--
FW: Fine, just pick something ... nice.... I guess.....now we done?
L: What are you wearing?
FW: I'm sitting right here.
L: Not now. To the wedding?
FW: Oh....this won't work? Fire points to her jeans, boots, and tank top.
L: No.....not even close.
FW: This is stupid.
L: Look, I'll try to find some stuff that isn't too foofy.
FW: Whatever, can we PLEASE be done with this?
L: Look, you told me to take care of this.
FW: That was before I knew you were going to turn into the wedding planner from hell.
L: Okay....back on the ... uh ... touchy subject of invitations....
FW: We're done.
L: Just wait....I'm not going to ask about ... them. Just if there's ANYONE that you would like to be there....
FW: I don't want ANYONE to be there.....
L: I know....but Rick has offered......and I think....well.....
FW: Spit it out, Lucky.
L: Well, I think it would mean a lot to Chris if you took this just a tad bit more seriously.....
FW: ....
L: ....
FW: .... You don't play fair.
L: No. That's not why you hired me.
FW: Fine....I'll think about it, okay?
L: Okay...then I think we are done for now.
FW: Wonderful.
Firewoman gets up and walks to the hallway to take her to her cabin. She passes by Samantha Moreland in the hall. Samantha gives her a wide berth and, in her current policy of ignoring all things Darling, Firewoman barely notices her. Once they pass, Firewoman stops, thinking, and then turns and catches up to her. She puts a hand on her shoulder to get her attention.
SMD: OH MY GOD, DON'T TOUCH ME, DAVIN WILL KILL YOU!!
FW: Oh, relax, have I done anything to you recently?
SMD: Well.....no.......
FW: And why is that?
SMD: I can't possibly begin to understand why you do anythng.
FW: Sammie-kins, it's because you've neither interfered with my matches nor have you aided and abetted your psychotic brother in another string of felonies against me. Cause and effect, you know?
SMD: So what do you want then?
FW: What is Davin's mom's name?
SMD: Huh? Why? What are you plotting now?
FW: Nothing, at all...I just ... I just want to send her something.
SMD: A pipe bomb?
FW: Don't be ridiculous.
SMD: I'm not telling you unless you tell me what you need it for.
Firewoman glares at her for a minute, then looks around to make sure no one is listening. She whispers.
FW: tm mnvm tm wmmmng
SMD: Huh?
FW: To invite her.....to the wedding.
SMD: WHAT? Why the hell would you want to--
FW: Look she was always really nice to me, you know, so I thought she could....well, everyone's going on about inviting families, and since I don't have anyone that fits that besides Moose, that I'd--
SMD: This is ridiculous. Come with me.
FW: Huh?
SMD: I'll tell you ... better yet, Davin will tell you.
FW: I don't wanna deal with Davin right now--
Samantha grabs Firewoman by the elbow and pulls her down the hallway toward Davin and Samantha's cabin. Firewoman is apparently too shocked by this to retaliate, and goes along with it. They get to door and Samantha kicks it open (it's ajar).
DM: What the hell?
FW: Not my idea, Davin.
DM: Sam.....
SMD: This has gone on long enough. Do it now.
DM: Huh?
SMD: Just .... just DO IT. And I'm not setting one FOOT back in this room unless you do.
Samantha leaves the room and slams the door shut behind her, leaving a confused Firewoman and Davin Moreland to stare at each other.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:15:19 GMT -5
*Firewoman tries several times to get the door open, but Samantha is holding it from the other side*
SDM: *from the other side of the door* Not until he tells you!
FW: YOU BITCH! I WILL HIT YOU SO HARD -
DM: Go ahead...
FW: I WILL HIT YOU VERY HARD!
DM: Feel better?
FW: A little.
DM: That's marriage, by the way. I hope you know what you're getting into.
FW: Yeah, well, whatever. Why did you drag me here?
DM: Umm, I didn't? Sammy has an idea in her head. When she has an idea in her head, it's hard to put another idea in her head. Kinda like you with the World Championship.
FW: Shut up.
DM: Fine.
FW: So what is it already?
DM: *sighs, and grabs his wallet, pulling a picture out of it* This.
FW: A picture?
DM: Look at it. *he hands it over* Recognize anyone?
FW: Well...kinda, I mean, there's two little kids here, and one of them looks like me, I guess.
DM: It is you. Read the back.
FW: "Summer 1990" So this is me when I was 6.
DM: Right.
FW: Who's the awkward looking kid next to me?
DM: That would be a 12-year-old me.
FW: Oh. Well, fun picture. *she hands it back*
DM: Umm...seriously?
FW: What, you and me in a picture? We've been in a bunch of pictures together. Hell, OOWF Magazine covers. I don't see why...*she stops short*
DM: Sinking in yet?
FW: Why the fuck were you in a picture with me when I was 6?
DM: Well, clearly, you must have been in the same place I was. Look in the background. Recognize anything?
FW: *looks closer* Is that your mother's house?
DM: Yes.
FW: Ok, so why was *I* at YOUR mother's house with YOU in the summer of 1990? I barely remember that far back.
DM: Me too. Had no idea until I stumbled across this picture after you tried to burn my mother's house down.
FW: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
DM: Whatever.
FW: You didn't answer my question.
DM: What question?
FW: THE question that I asked you.
DM: OHH...that.
FW: Yes, that.
DM: Well, apparently, you came to stay with Mom and me that summer.
FW: Ok, I can fucking SEE that but how did I end up there? Did I walk?
DM: No, your mother, uh...kinda dropped you off.
FW: Ok, that sounds like the crack-whore, but why YOUR house?
DM: Well? Uh....turns out that your mother and MY mother...are sisters.
FW: Huh. I didn't know my mother had any sisters. Of course, in between beatings and being left alone for weeks at a time, I never really had the chance to ask. So, that's it then?
DM: Well, no, you were there for a few weeks, she came back to get you after she stole some money. My Mom wouldn't let you leave, they had a big fight, and she came back in the middle of the night and kinda kidnapped you.
FW: Cool. Add kidnapping to the list.
DM: I guess.
FW: That's it then?
DM: Are you fucking kidding me?
FW: Our mothers are sisters. So what?
DM: Think about it.
*Firewoman looks annoyed, but thinks about it, then a look of shock comes across her face*
FW: No fucking way.
DM: Unless you have another explanation.
FW: How long have you known for?
DM: A few months.
FW: A few MONTHS? Why didn't you tell me?
DM: I tried, like 20 times. You kept blowing me off, and I didn't want to get into it. Now, thanks to my blushing bride, I don't have a fucking choice. There it is.
FW: That means...Moose is...
DM: Yes. Him too. Although I never met him until I got here.
FW: Thanks to Father of the Year.
DM: Probably.
FW: So...yeah...well....uh...I guess I'll go now.
DM: Yeah. Probably should. SAMMY! LET HER OUT!
*Samantha opens the door with a goofy grin on her face. Firewoman looks at her, then looks at Davin again before leaving without saying anything.*
SDM: *comes in and hugs Davin* Well? How did it go?
DM: Well. I suppose it could have gone worse. But you shouldn't have done that.
SDM: It was either that or she'd never find out.
DM: "Never find out" would have been just fine with me. You have no idea what you just started; and it might get really, really ugly before it's all over.
SDM: I want jewelry. Have we docked yet?
*Davin just shakes his head and goes into the bathroom*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:19:54 GMT -5
Poe is storming onto the ship, followed b Selena hurrying behind him, and A'isha who walks a few paces behind them, watching something on her cell phone. A Random SFJ (let's call her Annie) catches Poe at the top of the ramp.
A: Poe, any words about your upcoming match?
Poe: Chad Madison and Zane Meyers. You go on and on ad nauseum about restoring honor to the Tag Team Championships. How Stank and I dishonor them by...I dunno, beating other tag teams in our way. So what do you do to honor those Championships? You beat another team. Like cowards. You may possess the belts, but Stank and I are still the true Champions. We'll be taking back what's rightfully ours in Kingstown. Enjoy them. Shine them up real nice. Show them off to the ladies. You'l be bleeding come Wednesday. Namaste.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:20:10 GMT -5
*Davin and Alexis are going over match strategy...by the pool, and with a convenient TV nearby, that gets 1 channel. You know what it is*
DM: You believe that shit?
LD: *annoyed* Yes.
DM: Poe is a sore loser. I should know.
LD: Me too.
*Both laugh*
DM: He acts like there are two teams in the whole tag division. You know, it's not Texpress they need to worry about.
LD: Nope. If anything, Texpress needs to worry about us.
DM: True dat. So match strategy?
LD: Yeah, how about we go beat "Sanctuary"?
DM: Sounds like a plan...WAITER! WE NEED DRINKS!
*a seal splashes around in the pool and starts barking*
DM: I wish that prosti-tot would get her fucking seafood out of here. It's gross.
LD: GO AWAY, HUMPHREY!
*Humphrey looks sad and leaves*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:20:33 GMT -5
Cut to a ninjacam zoomed in for an extreme closeup of Zane Myers.
Zane: Poe. I almost agree with you. Multi-team clusterbombs annoy me. But I don't make the matches. Have a problem with that? Go bully Rick. All Texpress can do is go about wrestling the matches we are given. Notice I said wrestling. Not fighting, not bleeding, but wrestling.
You speak of beating opponents your way Problem is Poe, your way is cheating, and if anything dishonors a Championship, it's someone who cheats to keep it. We might not have pinned you, but we won the match, clean. End. Of. Story.
Besides, Big Bad Poe whining about "Fair?" That's funny. In the immortal words of Stan Fulton. "The third initial stands for wrestling" And we do that, Tag Team Style, Better. Than. You.
Drink & Destroy. Rematch is yours as far as we are concerned... It's always a good show when we get in the ring together...
Davin, Lexi.... We aren't "worried about" anyone. But We sure are looking forward to a real challenge..
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:20:56 GMT -5
(Ecosystem is walking around the deck, pacing, breathing. He comes upon Firewoman.)
Eco: You were right.
Fire: Eh?
Eco: You were right. To an extent anyway. Ravenna's not my problem. I still want the match, I think...but it has to be part of something instructional. I let myself lose control there, and it was kind of shameful. Thanks for the course correction.
(Eco opens his arms for a hug, Fire stares at him.)
Fire: ...Juni?
Eco: Yes?
Fire: Remember how earlier wasn't really the time to talk?
Eco: Yes.
Fire: Right now is kind of like that time.
Eco: Got it.
(Firewoman walks off. Eco strokes his chin and goes over to the buffet...where he stumbles upon Poe and A'isha.)
Eco: Poe.
Poe: ...What could you possibly want?
Eco: I have a serious question for you.
Poe: I might listen.
Eco: Am I you?
Poe: What?
Eco: Am I turning into you? You know, besides the fact that I lack such a lovely daughter.
Aa-T: He's a flatterer. I don't like those.
Poe: He's usually not. (Poe leans in.) Boy, what do you mean by that? I recall you don't always think well of me.
Eco: I don't always think well of myself.
Poe: Fair.
Eco: I came back here declaring I wanted to take hatred and violence out of this company. Based on that, I targeted you to mild success.
Poe: About three days worth, I recall?
Eco: Four days, thankyouverymuch. (Eco smiles.) So then "The Five" presented themselves as a target for my frustration. But it turned out that Alexander, among others, were also perpetuating that which I hate.
Poe: (playing with A'isha's knife.) Surprise, surprise...
(A'isha takes her knife back.)
Eco: And it frustrates me. And I'm angry. And as Fire said, when I'm angry...I look like you.
Poe: And you hate me.
Eco: (sighs) Not really you. What you stand for.
Poe: (smiling) Juni...you've come to the wrong person for advice. I'd give you a cheerful welcome to the dark side, but you're either too naive or self-righteous to understand what you actually need to do with your life.
Eco: Which is?
Poe: You'll know it when you see it. Unlike you, I have no interest in lecturing.
Eco: Fine. Good luck against Texpress. It would be nice to get the belts back directly from you.
A'isha: He's not particularly funny.
Poe: No, he's not.
Eco: Namaste, Poe.
(Eco gets up and walks over to his cabin, finding...Chad Madison and Lauren Phoenix.)
Eco: DAMMIT CHAD! DO YOU HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE?
Chad: Eco, I--
Eco: THIS IS A PURE WOMAN! A FORMER PORN STAR YES, BUT ONE REBORN INTO PURITY AND CHAS--
Lauren: Hey Juni?
Eco: Yes?
Lauren: Shut the fuck up. We were reminiscing.
Eco: Got it.
Chad: Um...I'll see you around, Lauren.
(Chad slips out.)
Eco: You wanted to sleep with him?
Lauren: Maybe a little. It's Chad!
Eco: ARGH.
Lauren: Also, who the fuck is Sanctum/Sanctuary? Ravenna, Evans, Gryfon and Alexis are all booked.
Eco: That's Tytan and Damon. They got the team names mixed up. We should go less heavy on the alliteration next time.
Lauren: Better than Team DEVaT.
Eco: That can't be the best acronym.
Lauren: Really?
Eco: Well we have D or W for Damon, T or V for Tyler, T for Tytan, E for me, and a free A for "and" if we want it.
Lauren: Which leaves...
Eco: First combination: TaT ED Second combination: VaT ED Third combination: TaT WE Fourth combination: VaT WE
Lauren: Right. Nothing.
Eco: What if we include you?
Lauren: Go ahead.
Eco: Team WaTTLE, for one. Team PaW VET. Oh, that's cute! Like we take care of animals!
Lauren: We don't take care of animals.
Eco: WAIT.
Lauren: What?
Eco: Team PaTTED.
Lauren: No. Much as I would like top billing, no. Also, you seem frustrated.
Eco: I am, a bit.
Lauren: So for what it's worth, I have faith in you.
Eco: (shrugging) It's worth something.
Lauren: Honestly? Talk to Tytan.
Eco: (looking up) I should. I will.
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:21:16 GMT -5
Firewoman is PACING~! outside the door to shipboard offices of The Chamber. Finally she takes a deep breath and goes in.
Moose is sitting on the sofa with LD Williams, watching some old OOWF wrestling match on television.
MHJ: Sis.
LDW: Kinda-sis.
FW: Moose, I need to talk to you.....um....have you been watching OOWF-TV.
MHJ: In between DVDs. Eco tried to hug you.
LDW: Does he know you're not the hugging type?
FW: He doesn't care. So....that's all you saw?
MHJ: Nope. Chad has turned into quite the little slut.
LDW: Fire was a good influence on him.
FW: That's actually not a new development. In fact....
MHJ: Okay, TMI.
FW: Whatever, so that's it?
MHJ: Yep.
LDW: Yep.
FW: LD can you give us a........wait.....what is that you're watching?
MHJ: Old OOWF matches.
LDW: I think this one is called "The Rise and Fall of RunDEA."
FW: Why in the blue hell would you be watching that?
MHJ: Because I'm trying to figure out what the hell your problem is.
FW: Huh?
MHJ: You're doing everything Alexander wants you to do.
FW: I am not. He wants me to self-destruct. I'm not. Eco has--
MHJ: Yeah, we're going to talk about your choice of gurus later. I'm going into a match with you against Darliing, and if you're going to be a scared little girl just because he gave you some new body art--
LDW: Moose, that's not how we practiced this...
FW: Body art? You are an asshole, you know that, right?
MHJ: Seriously, why is he even still alive?
FW: You know, I could go to everyone in this suite with that particular question.
LDW: This is not--
FW: But I don't because --
MHJ: Because you know you don't need us to fight your battles and this is one you SHOULD be fighting yourself, yet you're letting him pull the strings, using your ambition for the World Title--
FW: Championship.
MHJ: STOP THAT! He's using your ambition against you. He knows you want the TITLE and he's dangling it in front of you with all sorts of strings and conditions. Well, you know what? Who CARES if he doesn't give you the shot. It's not REALLY his decision, you know, and besides, he's BOUND to lose it eventually. All he's doing is ducking the inevitable.
FW: So?
MHJ: So you can just destroy him now, and then defeat whoever has it next!! I can't believe I have to spell this out for you.
FW: Moose, you don't get it. It's not JUST about --
MHJ: So I'm watching this DVD trying to figure out just WHY he gets such special treatment from the very SAME person that drew and quartered an enemy in a back alley.
LDW: Shhhhhh.....ninjacams.
FW: Moose, I don't have time to explain my reasoning to.....wait......where did you get that?
LDW: Here we go.....
FW: You can't tell me you bought a copy of that. No way would you give Darling any royalties.
MHJ: I got it out of your bag.
FW: You.....and just how the fuck did you get my bag?
MHJ: Lucky gave it to me.
FW: WHAT? I will kill him--
MHJ: As much as that would entertain me, it wasn't like that. Our bags are similar and he got them mixed up. I didn't realize until I opened it, and found this....which you have because?
FW: It was the complimentary copy.
MHJ: Ah....and......*he grabs something from under the couch*.......this wooden box. It's locked. What's in--
Firewoman snatches it out of his hands before he can finish the sentence.
FW: None of your fucking business.
MHJ: So, about little Alex--
Moose is again interrupted as Firewoman applies some Sweet Chin Music to the television. The glass shatters where her boot heel strikes it and the TV falls over with a loud crash, some electronic pops and a puff of smoke.
FW: There. THAT sparkles with me.
Firewoman storms off to her room, slams the door loudly. Moose and LD don't move, as if this is a common everyday occurence...which....it is.
MHJ: I wonder how much that'll cost to replace.
LDW: So.....having a sister everything you thought it would be?
MHJ: You know...it kind of is.
Firewoman opens the door and yells.
FW: By the way, Davin Moreland is our cousin.
Firewoman slams the door, again, leaving Moose and LD to stare at each other.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:21:36 GMT -5
MHJ: WHAT? What did she just say?
LD: It sounded like.......
<Moose is already up banging on Fire's door>
MHJ: HEY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?
FW: I say a lot of things
MHJ: Fire........don't test me
FW: Should have thought about that before you went through my stuff
MHJ: I DIDN'T go through your stuff
FW: Yes you did
MHJ: NO! I Didn't now open the fucking door and tell me......
<Silence>
MHJ: Fire
<silence>
MHJ: Ok we do this my way
<Moose leaves and storms out of the Chamber. After a few minutes, Fire comes out and looks at LD who is still sitting there, somewhat amused>
LD: Ain't family great?
FW: <shoots him a look> Where did he go?
LD: Dunno
FW: Dammit
<Fire heads toward the door when Moose comes in carrying a fire axe>
FW: WHAT THE FUCK?
MHJ: You wouldn't open the door
FW: So you were going to use that?
MHJ: And?
<a bit of silence passes between them>
MHJ: So what the fuck is Davin talking about?
FW: We're cousins
LDW: Oh this is TOO good
<Moose shoots LD a look>
MHJ: Bullshit
FW: His mom and our mom are sisters
MHJ: Bullshit
FW: Why would he lie?
MHJ: To fuck with us
FW: Since when does he care?
MHJ: Since he became a Darling
FW: I don't think that is how that works
MHJ: Really? NOW you are the wedding expert?
FW: Screw you, I saw the picture
MHJ: Pictures can be doctored
FW: This one wasn't
MHJ: How do you know
FW: Because I REMEMBER it
MHJ: Bullshit
FW: Are you calling me a liar?
MHJ: What are the odds that THREE people who no one knew were related end up in the SAME company?
FW: We did
MHJ: THAT'S DIFFERENT
FW: How?
MHJ: It just is!
FW: You are not making any sense. Look, I don't like this any more than you do but......
MHJ: Do you know what this fucking means?
FW: Yes, it means Davin is our cousin
MHJ: Not just that. Who is he married to?
FW: Sammie.........oh
MHJ: Yeah.........oh. It means, even if only a little, and through a "cousin" though marriage we are tied to that fucking family
FW: Well yeah but.......
MHJ: I don't fucking think so
<Moose storms out of The Chamber leaving Fire and LD>
LD: NOW where did he go?
FW: I have no idea
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:23:27 GMT -5
*Outback Jack and Wally B King are relaxing in the Destroyitarium bar, watching OOWF TV*
WBK: So it seems we're not the only cousins in the OOWF.
OBJ: Right. Speaking of relatives, are you divorced from Samantha Darling or was the marriage annulled?
WBK: Did I ever tell you that my dear friend King Bhumibol played saxophone at the wedding?
OBJ: Yes.
WBK: Same sax used when he played with Benny Goodman?
OBJ: You did mention that.
WBK: Good times, mate. I thought I'd found my soul mate and was going to settle down.
OBJ: So what happened?
WBK: She found out that my relationship with LD's Momma wasn't strictly business and the rest was history.
OBJ: Oh. So then you got divorced.
WBK: I think so.
OBJ: You "think" so?
WBK: I'm a busy man, mate. I have Wally B King Enterprises to run, I was managing Empty Team in Japan, I took World Wide Wes under my wing around that time...
OBJ: So...
WBK: I think I took care of the paperwork, but I'm not sure.
OBJ: If not, is her marriage to Davin legal?
WBK: Oh, no worries, because our marriage was done in Thailand by a defrocked Buddhist monk it has no legal standing in the US.
OBJ: But, in a manner of speaking, you, and I, might still be sort of related to her?
WBK: I suppose so.
OBJ: Which would mean we could still be sort of related to the other Darlings?
WBK: Right.
OBJ: And Davin?
WBK: I guess so?
OBJ: And thus to Fire and Moose?
WBK: Maybe.
OBJ: Wally, do me a favor and make sure you took care of the paperwork.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:23:44 GMT -5
from off camera a meaty hand turns off a monitor tuned to OOWF-TV and a camera pans up to the face of The Crusher, Stan Fulton
"See, this is why I will be champion sooner than later. I'm at the arena training, while the rest of the roster is on a slow boat to nowhere bitching and whining about if they've schumpted their 3rd cousin. Well if it bothers you, stop counting.
"Nothing.. and I MEAN NOTHING... matters to me now except the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. This week I take my first big step towards that goal by kicking the ass of Folz, LD and Spin and taking the Onslaught Championship.
"I don't care if I'm related to them. If my own family stepped through those ring ropes and blocked me from getting my hands on the title, I'd kick their asses too. Frankly, I'm thinking I might be too good for this company. It's filled with pansies and whiners. None of you deserve the OOWF World Title.
"So I'm going to take it from you."
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:24:01 GMT -5
Stan Fulton just about finished with his workout as the door to the Gym opens and Matt Folz walks in.
SF: What are you doing here? Why aren't you on the cruise with the rest of the losers?
MF: An old family friend just retired. I'm paying all expenses for him and his wife for a vacation, with the condition he takes Hayden and myself from show to show in his private plane.
I didn't have time to introduce myself at the show last week. Matt Folz, it's actually an honor to meet you, I've been a fan of yours for a LONG time.
SF: Really?
MF: Yeah, I mean what wrestling fan isn't? It's just a shame you've let yourself go though...Is that why you're here? To get yourself back in shape?
SF: What the hell are you talking about?
MF: You mean you aren't Stan Lane?
SF: No, Stan Fulton.
MF: Oh, sorry about that. Ok, Bobby Fulton from the Fantastics, still an honor, not quite as famous a team but almost as good.
SF: STAN FULTON, you stupid fuck. STAN FULTON!!, Get my name right.
MF(Laughing): Woah, down boy. Just messing with you rook, I know exactly who you are. Seriously, welcome to the company. (Extending hand, Fulton looking at it warily before eventually shaking it, Folz pulling him in close, looking right in Fulton's eyes)
MF: As I said, I know exactly who you are, I saw that promo saying all you care about is wrestling. I respect that, I feel exactly the same way. But what you don't realize, you fat fuck, is that I do that better than almost anyone in the world. So just shut your mouth, don't piss me off, stay out of my way and I promise I won't hurt you so bad, ok?
SF: Big talk from someone who probably can't even get me off my feet.
MF(Smirks, walking toward the bench press): What do you weigh? About 450?
SF: 461, why?
MF: Ok, 461, just for demonstration purposes, let's make it an even 500. (Loading up the bench press, knocking out five in a row real quick). Yeah, I think I can probably pick you up. See you in the ring Wednesday.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:24:18 GMT -5
(Tytan and Damon are training and once again it's the same as before Tytan has Damon working on some moves and doing what he can to improve the tag-team.)
Tytan: That's not it. Do it again....it needs to be prefect.
Damon: You seem touchy today what gives?
Tytan: It's simple. We are facing Nothing Happened. I feel like I am in some Vice Russo version of the twilight zone.
Damon: Man that is harsh.
Tytan: Well it seems like the only way we are going to get into a better angle then what we are in now is to actually destroy Nothing Happened.
Damon: Beating them week after week isn't enough.
Tytan: Apparently it isn't so we need to be just that much better then last time.
(They go back to practicing.)
Damon: So what was that the other night spearing Foltz into the pool and doing that out of respect for Firewoman.
Tytan: She is warrior, and is trying to keep her cool right now. I saw the opportunity to further our cause with her so I took it.
Damon: But you guys have talked about no unnecessary violence.
Tytan: But it was Mattie and he is just deserves it.
Damon: You do have a point on that one.
Tytan: Now let's get back to training.
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:24:54 GMT -5
(Tytan is later seen walking while once again on his cell phone.)
Tytan: I don't get it.....we fight Sanctum and get screwed in the match and Eco hasn't even approached Ravenna yet about her intentions on that kick....Rick has a chance to push the issues further and puts him in a match with Tyler against Ravenna and Crete....that should be me....I am his general....Tyler is a loose cannon....I know I have Damon to keep out of trouble....but this is just wrong....
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:25:13 GMT -5
As Folz sets the weights back down and walks away...
"Folz, barbells don't try to rip your ears off while you're lifting them."
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:25:36 GMT -5
*OOWF Cruise Ship*
An OOWF banner pops down and Olympic Gold Medalist & America's Sweetheart Shawn Johnson walks into view. She smiles brightly as she welcomes her guest, the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion - Alexander Darling.
OGM & AS SJ: Thank you OOWF for giving us this time and thanks to the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion for joining me and giving us some time. Let's start with...well, why don't you decide?
Alexander: Well Shawn, it seems as if a lot of people are gunning for me, and more specifically, for my title. So let's start there. First of all, when I first won this belt and made my mandatory defenses I made a proclamation that I would only defend this belt against those who had never won it.
OGM & AS SJ: I remember that and while it gave the new blood a chance to step up their game and challenge the OOWF World Champion so they can make a name for themselves, others believe it was a way for you to run and hide from certain challengers. What do you have to say about that?
Alexander: People have said that and while that was never my intention, I can understand why people have let their theories run that road. For me, it took almost two years to ever get my first one-on-one title match and I just wanted to give everyone a chance that was never given to me. But now that I've run through the gamut of challengers, save one, that time is over. I have never run or hid from a challenge so as World Champion, I am putting an open invite to EVERYONE in this company. Come and challenge me if you think you can beat me. You won't, but you can try.
OGM & AS SJ: That's a big declaration and I'm sure that many of the OOWF superstars will be petitioning our general manager for a shot, but I couldn't help but notice, you said save one when it comes to new challengers for the belt. Can I believe this is related your former best friend and 1/2 of your opponents for this week. One, Firewoman?
Alexander: Firewoman, Firewoman, Firewoman...she wants nothing more than to be accepted as a legitimate wrestler. Not to be looked at as a glorified diva or sideshow act, but be considered a legitimate, world-class wrestler. And she has a chance to prove herself over the next few weeks. The more than combustible Firewoman has a chance to prove she won't explode at a second's notice and become the Firewoman we all know she is. I've done some horrible things...
OGM & AS SJ: Like kidnapping and torture?
Alex glares at Shawn a little...
Alexander: Yes Shawn. Those things. I'm not proud of some of the things I've done. I can make all the excuses in the world for what happened. I can blame it on the Quinns for laying their hands on my family. I can blame it on Poe for teaching me the methods I've used. Hell, I can blame my family for not showing me there are better ways to handle things. But none of that matters because I did what I thought I had to do to get my point across. And every day I am working to prove that I can overcome my past. But I shouldn't be the only one working to do that. This path that we've all started down was not started by me, but I can guarantee it will be finished by me.
OGM & AS SJ: This week, you step into the ring against what some would say is your most hated enemy and his sister, your former best friend. That has to weigh on you a lot especially given your partner is also a former protege and ally of Firewoman. In fact, he was there to help her when she stabbed you in the back. How can you go into this match trusting your own partner?
Alexander: That's another good question Shawn and given Evans' silence, I have to admit I'm worried. I might be walking into a 3-on-1 beatdown but if the last few months have proven nothing else, it's proven that I can get attacked by any number of people and I will get back up, wipe myself off, and be ready to fight again. But as for Evans, my sister...his ally in Sanctum, I just have to hope he's not stupid enough to think he'd survive another betrayal. We are stepping into the ring against Moosehead Jack and Firewoman...the brother & sister of destruction and mayhem. If we're not focused on them, we've already lost.
OGM & AS SJ: Speaking of Moosehead Jack, it seems as if GMtR has forgotten his decree of never sanctioning another match between the two of you. How will you feel stepping into the ring against him again knowing that the last time it happened, homicide was a very probably outcome.
Alexander: First, it doesn't shock me that Rick is such a moron he forgot his own decree and would sanction this match. Second, I'd be lying if I said I could go into this match and think Moosehead Jack was just another opponent. Our history is well documented. Our opinions of one another have been said ad nauseam. And the fact is, we may very well kill each other because we just don't like each other. Truthfully, there just aren't any more words that need to be said about the Alexander Darling and Moosehead Jack. One day, the OOWF just won't be big enough for the both of us and we both believe that we'll be the one left standing, if that's possible. This week, he's not my focus though as tough as that may be. My goal will be to win the match. Nothing more.
OGM & AS SJ: Nothing more? Really? Your history with both Quinns. What you have done to each other and nothing more?
Alexander: Shawn, it is what it is. I have to wrestle Moose and Fire. Whatever has been between us has to stay outside the ring because once we all step into the ring, it's about showing who's the best. And as much as Firewoman wants to believe she's going to be good enough to beat me...she won't be. Because Firewoman has never been good enough to beat me clean. I have no reason to think that will change now. So this week at Mayhem, I will once again prove why I am the OOWF World Champion. And the reason is quite simply because I am Alexander Darling, and well, you just aren't.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:25:59 GMT -5
Firewoman wanders in to the Five's dressing room at the arena, and she's apparently been gone a while.MHJ: And you have been.... FW: Moosie-poo, the Caribbean is home to a HOST of interesting things, including the birthplace of vodun and a bunch of other Afro-Caribbean religions. I have been hanging out with my cousin initiates, for power and inspiration for our match-- MHJ: I knew it was either that or some sort of strange fetish thing. FW: They gave us this. Fire holds up an elaborately sequined flag that looks a little like this: MHJ: And that is.... FW: The Marassa. "Divine Twins." MHJ: We are not twins. FW: I know, but they're siblings and they thought it would bring us luck. MHJ: Do we need luck? FW: No... Fire folds the drapo up reverently and sets it gently on the table. She sits down across from Moose.FW: So....speaking of cousins.... MHJ: We are not. FW: Oh....... *awkward silence* FW: You know....he's blood.....he could join. MHJ: First of all, no. Second, then we wouldn't be The Five[/color] anymore. FW: Yes we would. MHJ: .... FW: .... MHJ: It's not time. FW: But you said.... MHJ: *slamming his hand down on the table* IT'S NOT TIME. NOW DROP IT. FW: FINE! MHJ: You need to PAY ATTENTION to what is happening NOW and quit trying to plan three steps ahead... FW: Okay! Just....STOP! MHJ: Fine...I have to wrap my bat with barbed wire. What you got, the rebar? Or I can get that fire ax? I don't think whips will go over really well down here. FW: Nothin.... MHJ: Huh? FW: Look....wait...where's the......... As if by magic, the OOWF Promo banner drops down behind FirewomanFW: Awesome. Alexander...you and your revisionist history. You want to go down that path? Fine. I've wrestled you clean before and I've beaten you clean. And you know it. And I'll do it again. And you know THAT. Tonight. And every night. And I'll leave you alone backstage. And I'll do everything your way. I hope my brother follows suit, but I just can't control him. I can just control myself. Not because you're pulling my strings *she shoots a glare at Moose* but because you think it'll keep you safe. But it won't, Alex. Because eventually Rick will make that match you want. And I'll keep it clean, no weapons, no bloodshed, no interference. And then? Then it's my turn. And then I'll have free range to do everything I've wanted to do to you since that night in Philly, and there won't be anything you can do about it. You won't be safe anymore, Alex. But that's on you, since you thought it'd be fun to play with fire. Fire smiles a little at her pun.So keep lying about your talents, your accomplishments, our win/loss record. Keep lying to your fans, your skank of the week interviewer. You can even keep lying to yourself. But not for long. Reality bites, Alex, and it's got really long, sharp teeth. And you've given it plenty of time to sharpen them. Fire looks at MooseYou can bring your toys if you want. I won't need them. She grabs the drapo and then takes into her locker room with her.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:26:25 GMT -5
*Davin, Alexis and Samantha are somewhere on the boat, probably near some weights or something. Alexis is clearly UPSET~!*
LD: I'm just saying it's bullshit, is all.
DM: But nothing really changed, it's the-
LD: FIRST it was Sanctuary. NOW it's SALVATION! How the FUCK are we supposed to prepare if they KEEP CHANGING THE OPPONENTS?!??!
SDM: You can't be serious.
LD: HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS IS A BIG DEAL???
SDM: I...need...pills...
*Samantha leaves*
DM: Relax.
LD: RELAX? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RELAX??!?!?
DM: Um, because I'm about to piss you off.
LD: Huh?
*The OOWF Promo banner drops from the sky*
DM: Alexander Darling, since you've decided to let the real wrestlers compete for the World Heavyweight Championship again, let me be the first to issue the challenge. I want *my* championship back, to become the ONLY 4-Time Heavyweight Champion.
DM: You're good, Alexander. But I'm better.
LD: You asshole.
DM: What?
LD: Why did you do that? Why would you put me in the middle like that?
DM: To stop you from worrying about Sanctuary or Salvation because it doesn't matter WHO we face, Nothing Happened is simply better than everyone else?
LD: Ass.
DM: Although, I do want to put the challenge out there. I like shiny things like Championship belts.
LD: Ultimo Dragon is your hero, isn't he?
DM: Him and DDP, pretty much, yeah. Plus, to be the 4-time Champ when no one else in the history of OOWF has even been a 3-time champ would be pretty cool.
LD: Lapping the field?
DM: Something like that. That's why we need to beat Sanctuary.
LD: Salvation.
DM: Whatever.
LD: Why?
DM: One more step on the road to do something no one else has done. Think about all the things that Davin Moreland has done that no one else has. Member of the greatest stable in OOWF history, and the first to hold all the championships at once.
LD: There's only one "first".
DM: The only Onslaught Champion to defend the title with "I Quit" matches. No one else had the balls to do that.
LD: True.
DM: The only 3-time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion.
LD: Also true.
DM: The only 4-time Campeonas de Trios Champion. No one else has done it more than twice.
LD: A bunch of "firsts" and "onlys"
DM: And, of course, the only man stupid enough to team with not one, but BOTH Darling twins.
LD: Such a jackass.
DM: Who are we wrestling this week?
LD: I forget. Who cares?
DM: Finally got you there. Let's go drink.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:26:45 GMT -5
Poe and Stank are sitting in the Bar/Chamber V aboard the HMS Tytannik. Selena bounds toward Poe from the bar and hops onto his lap, grabbing the remote to the new plasma screen television (we get things replaced quick, because we're the Five, ya know).
Stank: So, Omar. Tell me. Now that Darling has dropped his "non-champs only" rule, you gonna go back after your belt?
Sa-T: Of course he is Stankie! I wants me belt back.
Poe: No, I won't.
Selena turns to face Poe.
Sa-T: What? Why not?
Poe: I made a promise to my Brother in Arms, Beloved. I can not break that. We have unfinished business.
Stank: Your loyalty is inspiring...and a little surprising.
Poe: Fear not, Lucas. I have one goal and one goal only. That is to stand side by side with you as Tag Team Champions. Until that happens, that is my top priority.
Sa-T: But my belt is so pretty...
Selena pouts and turns on the OOWF-TV. Davin Moreland's promo airs.
Stank: That guy should have been an accountant.
Poe: More like a politician. Do the math Lucas. Yes, it's true he is the only 3-time OOWF World Champion. But that means he also lost it three times. His last time to me.
Stank: His reigns weren't very long either.
Sa-T: Not the only thing about him that's not very long from what I hear.
Stank laughs hard.
Stank: I thought your girl didn't make those kinda jokes.
Sa-T: Things change, Stankie.
Stank opens his laptop and goes to OOWF.com and to the Title Histories.
Stank: this thing needs to be updated badly. But let's see...
Stank does a little math.
Stank: Damn, listen to this. Davin's three reigns combine to equal 130 days. Your first reign was 206 and you held the belt both times for a total of 297 days. That's over double his three reigns. Hell, my one reign was longer than his three.
Poe: I'm shocked. Davin Moreland takes a small stat and makes it greatest thing ever.
Stank: He must be a Red Sox fan.
Poe: I'm waiting for him to call himself the Measuring Stick like his two bumbling comrades. Or as my darling A'isha calls them, The Two Boobs.
Sa-T: Davin Suckland doesn't want any kind of measuring device around him. He gets nervous.
Stank: Girl's on a roll.
Poe: You should stop now. I'd rather not deal with his whining and posturing.
Sa-T: Like a peacock?
A'isha walks in.
Poe: I suppose.
Aa-T: Pea-cock. Talkin' about Davin Moreland? Sounds about right.
Stank: Dayum.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:27:22 GMT -5
*Alexis and Samantha are sitting around the pool, surrounded by a gaggle of loyal OOWF fans, all ages and genders represented. It's pretty apparent the Darling Sisters have had one too many cocktails. Some little kid shouts out from the crowd*
SLK: Hey! Did you see Poe's promo?
SDM: Fuck no. I'm still awake aren't I?
*laughing around the pool. someone else speaks up*
SE: Yeah, he was making dick-size jokes about Davin in-between justifying the fact that he's only won the title once.
*Lots of "Yeahs!" from the crowd. Samantha loudly stifles a laugh. Alexis looks like she's about to burst out laughing, but can't because her jaw has dropped*
SDM: Slow news day for the Five, eh?
*Some other person pipes up*
SOP: Well Alexis? Is it true? You would know!
*murmurs of agreement in the crowd*
LD: Now, I would NOT know, because as you well know...
*Everyone sings along with Lexie*
E: NOTHING HAPPENED!
LD: That's right. So let's move on. Someone buy me another drink.
*Several young men and women scurry off to the nearest bartender to fulfill her request*
SDM: Aww, come on Lexie - give them something, would ya? They're fans! And I know you know.
*More assorted "yeahs" from the crowd*
LD: Ok, ok. Ok. I don't want to say too much, because, of course...
*everyone singing along*
ESA: NOTHING HAPPENED!
LD: That's right. Let's just put it this way. Davin? He married a woman.
SDM: He did. And we're still married.
*giggling from the crowd*
LD: And Poe? Let's just say...he's barely adequate enough to satisfy his child-bride.
*uproarious laughter from the crowd*
LD: I mean, ever wonder why when women hit like 20 or 21 they leave Poe at the drop of a hat? I mean, once they REALIZE that they're ALL not-
SDM: That's enough, Lexie.
LD: Ok, fine.
SDM: Fine.
LD: But seriously...
SDM: Don't.
LD: OK!
SDM: Ok, fine. Someone get me a drink please?
LD: Just sayin', socks are for your feet.
*more laughter*
SDM: We GET it, Lex.
LD: Ok, fine. Just sayin....hamster.
SDM: What?
LD: Hamster...as in...Poe is hung like a...
SDM: FADE OUT, ALREADY!
LD: BEER ME!
*Crowd laughs and cheers as we fade out*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Aug 14, 2010 17:28:19 GMT -5
Chad Madison is bouncing away on his trampoline when Zane myers bursts through the door.
Zane: ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?
Chad: No, You are.. right "Insane" Zane Myers!
Zane: Lauren Phoenix. Seriously?
Chad: Come on Man, How many guys who AREN'T porn stars can say they nailed a porn star.
Zane: (shaking his head) I thought you were over the whole 'Porn is Great' Stage.
Chad: I am. I swear. I just couldn't pass on that.
Zane: You could.
Chad: Why? I'ts not like there's anyone to object.
Zane: I object
Chad: You haven't been laid since We left San Antonio
Zane:...
Chad:...
Zane:...
Chad: ... And it's your own fault. Lucy is basically throwing herself at you. If you aren't going to hit it... I just might.
Zane: She isn't that kind of girl
Chad: She's an SFJ. Rick only hires THAT kind of girl.
Zane: ...
Chad:... Ok fine.. She's pure are the driven show
Zane: You're a jerk. a BIG jerk.
Chad:..... So are you heading back to the weight room anytime soon?
Zane: Probably. Why? You actually plan on working out this week?
Chad:..... I have a couple of the girls coming by in a few. You could stay, I'm sure one of them knows who you are
Zane: I'm leaving. Poe promoed you know?
Chad: Ehh.. who cares.
Zane: We should consider responding. He called us "Two Boobs"
Chad: Nice. I happen to be an expert on boobs.
(Zane walks away rolling his eyes and shaking head slowly)
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